christian coping with stress

Rev. Don Allen, Jr. PhD

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Introduction

There are questions about stress that everyone wants to have an answered. The questions are not going away and the phrase, "Pray about it," will not resolve every stress that people experience!

In the following pages I will attempt to help you answer these questions. I do not claim to be an expert on the subject of stress. Although, like many Christians, I experience it daily as a pastor, substance abuse counselor, and even more so as a parent. Stress is everywhere and affects us all in different area of our lives.

o Will there be enough money to pay all the bills?o Will my family be taken care of?o How will I get everything done at work?o What about the things I need to accomplish at church?

Questions often asked in the Christian Community that we need to address are:

o Can a Christian have stress in their life and still be a Christian?o How can I, as a Christian, handle stress?o Is stress healthy for me?o Have I sinned if I have stress in my life?o What do I do if I have stress?o How do I recognize stress?

“Stress is like an iceberg; we can see one-eighth of it above, but seven eighths lay below?”1

1 http://thinkexist.com/quotations/stress/2.htmlChristian Coping with Stress!

Copyrighted May 1999 and updated June 2010Rev. Don Allen, Jr PhD & Through HIM Ministries … www.throughhimministries.org

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http://www.throughhimministries.org/

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Facts and Statistics on Symptoms of Stress:o According to the World Health Organization, stress is the number one health

problem in the United States.o According to the American Medical Association, 75 percent of sickness in this

country is related to stress. o According to the American Psychological Association, 43 percent adults suffer

from adverse effects of stress.o 3 out of 4 chronic illness sufferers also fight with stress which is a major

contributing factor to such condition.

Christian Coping with Stress!Copyrighted May 1999 and updated June 2010

Rev. Don Allen, Jr PhD & Through HIM Ministries … www.throughhimministries.org

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Defining Stress

o The KING JAMES VERSION OF THE BIBLE uses the word Distress ... (Stress)o Distress implies mental or physical strain imposed by pain, trouble, worry,

and suggest that situations can be relieved.

o Webster’s Dictionary defines it as: Strain or pressure, urgency, importance and significance.

o Dictionary of Psychology defines it as: (noun) A state of strain whether physical or psychological.

o Dr. Archibald D. Hart ... (Author of The Anxiety Cure and Professor of Psychology and former Dean of Graduate School of Psychology at Fuller Theological Seminary in Pasadena, CA) said: “We are designed for the slow moving world of the horse and buggies, living and attempting to function in the world of supersonic jets, and faster and faster computers - no wonder we are stressed.”

o Reneau Z. Peurifoy, M.A, M.F.C.C.... Author of Anxiety, Phobias, and Panic states. “Stress can be divided into major types: physical stress and psychological stress. Physical stress is created by physical demands on the body such as those caused by accidents, illness, chemical toxins, a demanding work schedule, or prolonged psychological stress. Psychological stress is created by mental or emotional demands on the body. Psychological stress can simply be the result of physical stress. However, psychological stress is more often caused by mental or emotional demands from your personal beliefs, family, work, or friends.”

o Baker Encyclopedia of Psychology and Counseling states about Stress this way ... “It is ironic that as new technological conveniences have proliferated, stress has become an increasingly commonplace experience. This is less paradoxical, however, in light of current information-processing demands and increasing societal pluralism. With every new convenience come new choices, further complicating decision-making. Communications constantly barrage individuals with multimedia exposure to stressors around the globe. Pluralism removes absolutes and frowns on generalizing, rendering each moral choice a novel situation without reference points. Thus it is not surprising that a vast research literature on stress addressing a variety of perspectives, has accumulated since, the 1950’s.”



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o Hans Selye, M.D., a recognized expert in the field, has defined stress as a "nonspecific response of the body to a demand."2

Clinical Diagnosis of Stress:When I’m making a clinical Diagnosis as a Alcohol and Drug counselor and as a Pastoral Counselor, to see if a person is coping with Stress, I use the DSM-IV TR – (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders IV – TR) to help determine the individual’s mental health and stress level.

“Diagnostic criteria for 308.3 Acute Stress Disorder”:

A. The person has been exposed to a traumatic event in which both of the following were present:

(1) The person experienced, witnessed, or was confronted with an event or events that involved actual or threatened death or serious injury, or a threat to the physical integrity of self or others (2) The person's response involved intense fear, helplessness, or horror

B. Either while experiencing or after experiencing the distressing event, the individual has three (or more) of the following dissociative symptoms:

(1) A subjective sense of numbing, detachment, or absence of emotional responsiveness (2) A reduction in awareness of his or her surroundings (e.g., "being in a daze") (3) derealization (4) depersonalization (5) dissociative amnesia (i.e., inability to recall an important aspect of the trauma)

C. The traumatic event is persistently reexperienced in at least one of the following ways: recurrent images, thoughts, dreams, illusions, flashback episodes, or a sense of reliving the experience; or distress on exposure to reminders of the traumatic event. D. Marked avoidance of stimuli that arouse recollections of the trauma (e.g., thoughts, feelings, conversations, activities, places, people). E. Marked symptoms of anxiety or increased arousal (e.g., difficulty sleeping, irritability, poor concentration, hyper vigilance, exaggerated startle response, motor restlessness).

2 http://www.healthscout.com/ency/68/103/main.htmlChristian Coping with Stress!


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F. The disturbance causes clinically significant distress or impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of functioning or impairs the individual's ability to pursue some necessary task, such as obtaining necessary assistance or mobilizing personal resources by telling family members about the traumatic experience. G. The disturbance lasts for a minimum of 2 days and a maximum of 4 weeks and occurs within 4 weeks of the traumatic event. H. The disturbance is not due to the direct physiological effects of a substance (e.g., a drug of abuse, a medication) or a general medical condition, is not better accounted for by Brief Psychotic Disorder, and is not merely an exacerbation of a preexisting Axis I or Axis II disorder.”3

3 Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, fourth Edition. Copyright 1994 American Psychiatric Association



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The Causes of Stress

The cause of stress will very differently for each individual. Below is a list of some common things that cause stress.

It is important to understand that there are two different causes of stress and although both cause physical, emotional, spiritual pain, they have different bases or foundations in the mind. The First is FACTUAL, based on a fact, a truth, or something known as an absolute. The Second is based on PERCEPTION, something that is believed to be there, believed to be true but is based only on personal belief.

Family related stress

o Relocating (Moving) … If you have ever moved, you know the stress that this can cause.

o Death of a spouse or childo Job changeo Kidso Family (In-laws or your personal family)o Financial problemso Health issues (this could include a critical illness, or a short term injury such as a

knee injury) o Long days and short nightso Husband or wife not aroundo Lack of relationships (feeling left out)o Pressure to do things for other people, despite your own time allotment



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Church related problems:

Within Christian Ministries today we find a great deal of stress in those individuals who feel they are responsible for their ministry and believe they fail God or the church if they don’t get the work done.

o Too much to doo Not enough peopleo Never enough moneyo It’s all left to me to do

Interesting Quote: (WWW.Stressrelease.com) “Stress and Worry on the job can be harmful! They cause physical and emotional problems that may damage both your health and your performance. Furthermore, stress grows! Excessive worry is a major element in the vicious cycle of tension: the physical sensations of stress-tense muscles, headaches, insomnia and so forth-lead to catastrophic stress-building thoughts, which in turn aggravate unpleasant physical feelings, and so on up to tension cycle. Soon, just the thought of preparing an assignment or meeting a deadline triggers all the symptoms of stress, along with an overwhelming wish to avoid tasks.”

Stress related to home (factual or perceived)

o Unhealthy family environment o (You’re not safe, no heat, etc)

o Situation involving parents, spouse, or childreno Sickness, (this could include your personal health or that of your husband/wife or

children)o School related problems

Financial

o Bankruptcyo Behind on paying billso Stressed due to high mortgage.o Not having an enough income for the current lifestyle you are choosing to living.

Health



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o Sickness that is causing you to use a lot of vacation, sick, or paid time off hours o A member with a non-curable illness.o A child sick with a chronic health issue.

Stress related to supervision at work

o Unhealthy relationship with manager (factual or perceived)o Can you believe all the work they want me to do?o Insecurity (yours or that of the manger that cause strained or poor

communication)o They are out to get me, o They want my job, and I can’t let that happeno Unrealistic expectations to accomplish tasks (factual or perceived)o Everything I do has to be perfecto They don’t care what I do as long as they look good!

Stress related to clients and/or co-workers

o Unrealistic expectations of a client’s actionso They should be able to do this!!!!!o Low tolerance for individuals not at your level of productivity or your level of

competencyo Don’t they understand I did it the first time? So should they.o How many times are we going to do this?o What? How many phone calls do you need to make while you’re here?o Why can’t they handle their own paperwork?o Why did they get in the face of the client, don’t they understand I have to clean

up their mess?o Constant interruption (factual or perceived)o Co-workers with what you perceive as stupid questionso Aren’t we professionals around here?

Unrealistic expectations of yourself or others to accomplish the task.

o Unorganized work area



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o I was taught to take the first 15 minutes of the day and to organize your work area, and your day.

o Have an area that you know where everything is categorized, stacked, and shelved perfectly.

o Have what you need to work witho Unorganized timeo Know t what you’re going to do today.o Who do I need to see?o Incapability to handle assigned tasks and failure to ask for assistance/directiono PRIDE.... Just before the fall.



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Results of Stress

Emotionally

o Anxiety o Depressiono Could lead to schizophrenia (losing touch with reality)o Lack of clear thought and appropriate actions with otherso Mental exhaustiono Boredom

Physically

o Ulcerso Colitis (inflammation of the large intestine)o Asthmao High blood pressureo Eczema (skin condition)o Fatigue (lack of energy)o Muscle tensiono Nail bitingo Pain of any kind o Heart disease o Digestive problems o Sleep problems o Obesity o Autoimmune diseases



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Relationship

o Hostility towards otherso Over-reactions to co-workerso Increase paranoia (feeling suspicious, distrustful, apprehensive)

“Our built-in survival mechanism is called fight or flight response that physically prepares the body to protect itself against external threat. Once this response is triggered by a stressful event, certain physical changes take place in the body. The adrenal glands, located atop the kidneys, begin secreting stress hormones called adrenaline and noradrenaline. These hormones are released quickly into the bloodstream, where they immediately begin preparing for action.”4

4 The Complete Life Encyclopedia ... A Minirth-Meier New Life Family Resource)Christian Coping with Stress!


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How to deal with stress from Scripture:1) Psalm 119:165 -. 2) Isaiah 26:3 -. 3) Isaiah 48:18. 4) Matthew 6:31-34 - 5) Matthew 11:28-29 - Philippians 4:6-7 -. 6) 1 Peter 5:7 - 7) Psalm 91:18) Exodus 18:13-239) 2 Kings 19:1-2110) 2 Corinthians 4:111) 2 Timothy 3:10-1212) 2 Timothy 4:513) Exodus 18:13-1814) Titus 3:9-1115) Exodus 18:17-1816) Isaiah 41:10-1317) Proverbs 3:5-618) 2 Timothy 1:8-1219) John 16:3320) James 3:1-821) 2 Timothy 3:10-1722) 2 Kings 19:1-2623) 2 Timothy 2:24-2624) Matthew 6



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Biblical Saints that Saw Their Share of Stress

King David:

o Saul trying to kill himo The death of his best friend (Jonathan)o The rebellion of this children

Moses:o He was adoptedo He had to move from his home, and live in another culture!o Asked to do a job that no one else wanted!o He led a group of people that often had other plans, and methods to accomplish

the goal.o They often told him they did not like him.

Job:

o The loss of his childreno The loss of his wealtho The words of his wife (“fool curse God and die”)o The judgment of his friends (what did you do to cause this?)

Noah:

o He had a time limit to get the job done.o The fate of his family rested on his shoulderso He was to preach to people that did not want to hear.o He thought about what the future would be like (maybe even worried a little)



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Jonah:

o Was stressed when God called him to go the wicked city of Nineveho Was stressed when God did not do what he asked (destroy the City of Nineveh)...

(Jonah’s stress lead to depression (the raven had to come and feed him)

Paul:

o He dealt with the reputation of his past.o He attempted to teach people that did not want to hear.o He wondered if people would accept him.o He wondered about the future.o He prepared for death.

Even Jesus had his moment:

o People attacking his teachings o In the Garden "Please let this cup pass from my hand" and He sweats great drops

of blood.



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Tools for Relieving Stress

People that can help you:

o Godo Family Memberso Church Memberso Individuals at W work o Outside family memberso Friends

The key to stress relief is a strong family and/or friend support group to talk with.



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Christian Solutions to Stress

Seeking tools to manage OUR STRESS is our challenge!

o Make time for DAILY MEDIATION-PRAYER. o Take regular retreats (get out of the pressure cooker).o Get plenty of physical rest and sleep.o Laugh.... at yourself and others (don’t take life too serious)o Monitor your self talk.... What positive and negative things do you say about

yourself (remember the positive has to out-weigh the negative in order to be emotionally healthy).

o Exercise. o Monitor a network of support.... Know who you can call and call on them.o Learn to act... Don’t react (acting is when we plan what we will say and do. Re-

acting is when we don’t think and just do).o Let go of anger. o Learn your own LIMITATIONS... Stress is the first step to chaos, by taking on

things in which you’re not ready for, especially, without help.o Increase your SELF-ESTEEM.... Know yourself.o Forgive ... Learn to forgive and to be forgiven

Personal Note: Making a list that works for you could take a long time. Take the time to do

it. You’ll be glad you did.

Effective Coping Skills.

Brainstorming ideas together. Finding solutions that may work for us personally. Learning to take time for self.



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Biblical Help in times of Stress!

There are other Great Passages of Scripture to turn to in times of stress; the following is a list of passages often referred to as “God’s Emergency Numbers”

o When in sorrow, call ... John 14o When men fail you, call ... Psalm 27o If you want to be fruitful, call ... John 13o When you have sinned, call ... Psalm 51o When you have worry, call ... Matthew 6: 19 -34o When you are in danger, call ... Psalm 91o When God seems far away, call ... Psalm 139o When your faith needs stirring, call... Hebrews 11o When you are lonely and fearful, call ... Psalm 23o When you grow bitter and critical, call ... I Corinthians. 13o For Paul's secret to happiness, call ... Col. 3:12 -17o For ideas of Christianity, call ... I Corinthians. 5: 15 -19o When you feel down and out, call ... Romans 8:31 -39o When you want peace and rest, call ... Matthew 11: 25 -30o When your world seems bigger than God, call ... Psalm 90o When you want Christian assurance, call ... Romans 8: 1-30o When you leave home for labor or travel ... Psalm 121o When your prayers grow narrow or selfish, call ... Psalm 67o For a great invention/opportunity, call ... Isaiah 55o When you want courage for a task, call ... Joshua 1o How to get a along with your fellow man, call ... Romans 12o When you think of investments/returns, call ... Mark 10o If you are depressed, call ... Psalm 27o If you're losing confidence in people, call I Corinthians. 13o If your pocket book is empty, call Psalm 37o If people seem unkind, call ... John 15o If discouraged about your work, call ... Psalm 126 o If you find the world growing small and yourself great, call ...Psalm 119

Emergency numbers may be dialed direct ... No operator assistance is necessary ... All lines are open to Heaven 24 Hours a Day, 7 days week, and 365 days per year. He is always waiting for your call.



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Stress Check

What is the cause of your stress today?

Read each statement and then determine the appropriate number, which you think best characterizes yourself and your behavior. There is are no right or wrong answers. Do not spend too much time on each any answer.

1 - Not at all2 - Slightly3 - Moderately4 - Very much

______ 1. Often I lose my appetite or eat when I am not hungry.

______ 2. My decisions tend to be more spur of the moment than planned: I tend to feel unsure about my choices and change my mind often.

______ 3. The muscles of my neck, back, or stomach frequently get tense.

______ 4. I have thoughts and feeling about my problems that run through my mind much of the time.

______ 5. I often have a hard time getting to sleep or waking up; I often feel tired.

______ 6. I feel the urge to cry or to escape and get away from my problems.

______ 7. I tend to let anger build up and then explosively release my temper in some aggressive or destructive act.

______ 8. I have nervous habits (taping my fingers, shaking my leg, pulling my hair, scratching, wringing my hands, etc).

______ 9 I often feel fatigued, even when I have not been doing hard physical work.



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______ 10 I have regular problems with constipation, diarrhea, upset stomach, or nausea.

______ 11 I tend to not meet my expectations, either because they are unrealistic. or I have taken on more of a burden that I can handle.

______ 12. I periodically lose my interest in sex.

______ 13 I have frequent headaches.

______14. I often have bad, unhappy dreams, or nightmares. ______ 15 My use of alcohol, coffee, drugs, or tobacco has increased.

Total the number of your responses. A score of 15 – 30 indicates a low degree of stress, 31 –45 a moderate degree of stress, and 45 or higher suggest a high stress level. If you are concerned or have question about your score be sure to talk with your physician or a counselor.Copyright @1992 Lifeway .... Used by permission.



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Appendix A

The following teaching on S stress was found online and published here for you to read and study, I have found it very helpful in my personal daily struggle with life. I’m indebted to James Fowler. The following is used by permission.

“STRESSI. Biblical references to "stress"

A. There are no Biblical references which use the word "stress" B. This does not mean that the Bible does not address what we term "stress"

II. Towards a definition of "stress"

A. Physical science 1. In the study of physics, "stress" is the term used to refer to pressure brought to bear upon an object.

2. Also refers to result of such pressure in deformities, etc.; ex. stress- fractures, cracks. B. Social science 1. In the study of psychology, "stress" is a term used to refer to the pressures brought to bear * upon an individual by the situations and circumstances of life.

2. Also refers to the mental, emotional and volitional reactions to such pressures creating *psychological distress and physical disorders

III. Applying Biblical references to such sociological and psychological phenomenon

A. The external pressures of the situations of life 1. Examples of Biblical terminology a. Circumstances - Phil. 1:2; 4:11 b. Trials - James 1:2; I Pet. 1:6; 4:12 c. Tribulations - Jn. 16:33; Acts 14:22; Rom. 5:3; 8:35 d. Troubles - Ps. 86:7; Job. 5:7 e. Hardships - Job 10:17; I Thess. 2:9 f. Ordeals - II Cor. 8:2; I Pet. 4:12 g. Difficulties - II Cor. 12:10 h. Distresses - Rom. 8:35; II Cor. 6:4; 12:10 i. Persecution - Jn. 15:20; II Cor. 12:10; II Tim. 3:12 j. Affliction - Job 36:15; II Cor. 6:4



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k. Suffering - Phil. 1:29; I Pet. 4:12,13 l. Adversity - Job 2:10; Ps. 49:5; Eccl. 7:14 m. Pressure - Job. 33:7; II Cor. 11:28 n. Disaster - Job 30:24; Jere. 17:17 o. Discipline - Job 5:17; I Cor. 11:32; Heb. 12:6 2. Differing explanations among Christians a. "Christians shouldn't have problems" - exempt b. If having problems (1) not mature or spiritual enough; don't have enough faith; not praying and working hard enough (2) God punishing for past failures; withholding "blessing" (3) Devil is after you (4) victim of other's actions; blame others (5) pray for deliverance c. Problems are to be expected in Christian life (1) Make you grow stronger, better, more spiritual (2) Avenues of God's action; opportunities and invitations to recognize and rely on God’s sufficiency B. The internal reactions to the pressures of the situations of life 1. Initial reaction leading up to a decision of action and reaction a. Initial reactions (1) perplexity - II Cor. 4:8 (2) troubled - Jn. 12:27; 13:21 (3) distressed - Lk 12:50 (4) time to consider options (5) time to pray b. Decision of action and reaction (1) God made us choosing creatures (2) Should not ask others to make decisions for us (3) Most decisions do not have to be made immediately (4) Should not allow "waiting on God" to become stalling procedure (5) Indecision can be a decision; sin of omission 2. Self-oriented decisions of action and reaction a. Mishandling of God's opportunities - Rom. 14:23 b. Self-sufficiency (1) I can resolve, explain, outlast, figure out (SELF) (2) Change the circumstances (3) Stoicism - survivalism, coping (4) Fatalism - what will be, will be; "don't worry, be happy" c. Reactions (1) Fight - Ex. anger, hostility, rage, hate, retaliation, bitterness, resentment,



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violence, judgmentalism, blame, victimization (2) Fright - Ex. fear, anxiety, worry (3) Flight - Ex. ignore, deny, retreat, avoidance, escapism, digression 3. Consequences of self-oriented reactive decisions - Prov. 14:12 a. Stress can lead to distress; dis-ease leads to disease b. Despair (II Cor. 4:8,9), desperation, depression. c. Hopelessness, helplessness, frantic, panic, hysteria d. Mental illness, nervous breakdown, psychosomatic e. Addiction, alcoholism, narcotics, medicines f. Self-destructive behaviors, suicide 4. Reactive decisions of faith a. Faith - our receptivity of God's activity - Rom. 14:23 b. Recognition of God's grace - II Cor. 3:5; 12:9 c. Acceptance of the situation and provision - Lk. 22:42 d. Rest in God's sufficiency - Matt. 11:28; Heb. 4:4-11 e. Perseverance - Rom. 5:3; 12:12; James 1:12 f. Endurance - I Cor. 4:12; II Tim. 4:5 g. Rejoicing - James 1:2; I Peter 1:6 h. Peace - Jn. 14:27; II Pet. 1:2 i. Contentment - II Cor. 12:10; Phil. 4:11-13 j. Filled with the Spirit - Eph. 5:18 k. Abundant life - Jn. 10:10”5

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5 http://www.christinyou.net/pages/stress.htmlChristian Coping with Stress!


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Appendix B

This article was originally written in 2002 while I served as Director of the Hope Center, a post 9/11 ministry developed to work with individuals struggling with the Holiday Season

following that heart breaking event:

As Christians we often get caught up in the stress of the Holiday. This is only natural considering we have all the same issues that the world faces. There are the holiday dinners to prepare, Christmas parties to attend, gifts to buy, and holiday programs to attend. As time moves forward, we often become frustrated, angry, unhappy, and most often of all, we become stressed. However, this is not the end.

The Bible gives us some wonderful words of encouragement for dealing with stress. These are found in Philippians 4: 4 – 9 and read from the New International Version this way:

“Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything. But in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable-if anything is excellent or praiseworthy - think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me – into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.”

As we read this wonderful passage of scripture written by the Apostle Paul, I emphasized four words or phrases. As a parent, counselor, pastor and teacher I feel that these four simple words and phrases can help us cope with Holiday Stress effectively. Please notice just a few simple thoughts about each underlined word.

Rejoice … Throughout the holiday we should first and foremost REJOICE IN THE REAL REASON FOR THE SEASON. The truth of the matter is that Christ did not come to a manger for us to be stressed. He came so we could be blessed.

Prayer and petition … I often wonder about the amount of time we spend wrapping gifts, preparing meals and running to the malls. Remember once again the REAL REASON FOR THE SEASON IS TO CELEBRATE THE BIRTH OF CHRIST. is to celebrate the birth of Christ. With that comes spending time and sharing with HIM.

Think … Sometimes we don’t want to think because it’s too painful. Maybe we lost someone this past year and the thoughts of them not being with us is more than want to think about. However, at those points in our life the Lord wants us to think about his loving out stretched arms that can transcend all pain and sorrow.



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Practice … Paul is clearly giving us direction that, as Christians, we need to put into practice what we hold dear: the Gold Rule. “Love one another as ourselves” and the Great Commission sharing with everyone we can “THE REAL REASON FOR THE SEASON IS JESUS.”

“In all my perplexities and distresses, the Bible has never failed to give me light and strength.” - Robert E. Lee



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