KIRK MATTERS

CLEISH PARISH NEWSLETTER

SUMMER 2016

There once was a Dormouse who lived in a bed

Of Delphiniums (Blue) and Geraniums (Red)

(A. A. Milne 1882-1956)

FROM OUR MINISTER Greetings Dear Friends,

Looking back at the start of the year it felt like we had such a long bleak winter, at times it seemed that the rain and

storms would never end, yet now, summer is here. Today has been a bit bleak and wet again but we have had some

beautiful days full of sunshine and warmth and light and there will be more to come.

The darkness of winter is over, the promise of spring has given way to the glory of summer, the grey of winter has

being replaced with the green hope of growth, trees are heavy laden with blossom and plants are blooming in all their

glory. The sun paints smiles on faces, and plants rainbow the earth with colours of joy.

The bleakness of Lent and Holy Week is long past, so too the glory and celebration of Easter. The purple colours of

Lent have given way to the golden glory of Easter joy. The suffering of Christ on the cross has been replaced by the joy

of his resurrection, the feelings of loss and despair replaced by those of promise, love, forgiveness and hope.

The celebration of Pentecost is also past, a service full of the flame colours we associate with the coming of the Spirit:

the red of power, and the orange and yellow that echo the warmth of love and life that God’s Spirit brings.

The whole of creation at the moment seems to be riotous with colour from the deep reds of the roses to the beautiful

rainbows of hope that paint our skies and that remind us of the story of Noah and the Ark: a story of faith and

endurance, of safe harbour and of God’s love, covenant and promise. We remember too God’s covenant in Jesus, our

Lord, his promise that he will be with us through all the seasons, through all the blackness of sorrow and the glory of

joy, through all the ups and downs of life, through the rain and the shine; he will be there, our loving Shepherd leading

and caring and carrying us through.

We can be sure that he is with us, not just on our own personal journey, but also on our journey as a church together as

we seek to serve him in our parish and beyond. We give thanks for God’s love and thanks to all the people who keep

our church functioning and continuing to move forwards, too many folk to mention by name but we all know who they

are and we give thanks for the beautiful colourful world he has created for us all to enjoy.

Rainbow God,

We praise you for the beauty of planet earth; For the deep blue of the oceans

With the splendour of sea creatures, Shy shellfish hidden in crevices,

Spouting whales majestically riding the waves, Playful dolphins playing new games

And vast shoals of multi coloured fish; For the variety of sea life,

We praise your name, good Lord.

For the green meadows and heather-covered hills, For orchards abundantly producing apples, red and green,

For fields of barley, corn and yellow mustard, For herds of cows, replete with milk,

For flocks of sheep, caring for playful lambs, For horse chestnut brown, milk white and coal black;

For all the variety of the countryside We praise your name, good Lord.

For the sun that shines bright in the sky,

For the clouds pregnant with rain, showering blessings, For scent-filled air, life-sustaining,

For the majestic eagle, soaring over mountains, For the lark, filling the air with her song,

For lines of geese, heading for home; Rainbow God, for all this loveliness

We praise your name and give you thanks. Amen John Johansen-Berg

So much to thank God for… and I thank him for all of you too… God bless

Rev Lis THE EDITOR'S VIEW

Inside this edition of the Newsletter is a first, for me at least. A picture of Cleish from the air! A kind soul jumped into

his Sopwith Camel, donned his goggles and leather helmet, climbed to 1,000 feet or so, and flew over the village.

Thank you, David Crosbie, who was on board, enjoying some flying experience himself and who took the shot in early

April this year, and to Lis Stenhouse, who passed it to me.

Well, we certainly had our Summer this year; momentarily at least. Let us hope that that wasn’t all we are going to get.

For three glorious weeks, after a wet Winter and an even wetter Spring, in May and early June the sun shone and the

temperature rose to over 20 degrees. And now, as I write, almost at Midsummer’s Day, it's raining again. But it was so

good while it lasted. We have had a wider and larger selection of birds clustered each day around the bird table outside

our kitchen window; three varieties of Tits, Yellow Hammers, three kinds of Finches, Dunnocks, Siskin and of course

Robins and the usual hooligan gang of Sparrows. Not to mention the Woodpecker who occasionally hurtles out of the

wood next door, drills madly at a nut or two and dashes off again at the slightest movement from inside the kitchen.

Some of them repaid our generosity by building their nests in two out of the three nesting boxes I have nailed to trees in

the garden. Mrs Pied Wagtail however, not to be out done, once again built hers under the fibre glass cover over the

valves on top of our gas tank, proudly laying 6 eggs, all of which have hatched and fledged and flown. So now I can

order some more gas.

An extraordinary book came my way recently, thanks to Isobel Reid, who lent me her copy. She knew the man who

compiled it, who died in 2002, and his widow, who has now very kindly given me my own copy. They are Campbell

and Mais Steven and the book is called “An Anthology of Hope.” It is published and available from

www.lonelyscribe.co.uk and this is the sixth edition.

It is an understatement to describe it as a remarkable piece of work, when it is really an inspirational compilation of

Bible texts, poetry, prayers, short biographical notes and much more. The master stroke lies in the way Campbell

Steven has assembled it. Dividing the book into fifty “Chapters” each with a simple title such as “Remembering”

“Consolation” “Jesus” “Easter” “Choice” “Prayer” “Courage” and “Love”, he then offers seven texts in each, one for

each day of the week, starting each time with Sunday. Sometimes it’s an extract from the work of a well known author,

such as C S Lewis on page 151, the offering for Friday in a chapter entitled “Commitment”. Other topics are dealt with

by offering texts from the Gospels. The Christmas pages are filled with carols, Nativity play scripts and accounts from

the Gospels of the birth of Christ. By running through the comprehensive and wide ranging list of contents, one can

always find a subject that is appropriate to the moment, or is fitting to ones particular need, be that for guidance,

knowledge, comfort or reassurance. In short, this is a book to dip in and out of, time and again, and emerge inspired.

Keep a copy by your bed.

Immediately following this Editorial, Isobel Reid, who knew the Stevens well, writes about the man who constructed

this wonderful miscellany. Read it. You won’t regret it.

This is to be my last effort as your Editor after 19 editions over six years. Why? Because it is high time for an injection

of fresh ideas, to ensure that Kirk Matters doesn’t run out of steam. And with not one, but two new Editors, working in

partnership, I am certain that these new ideas will leap onto the page with the 20th Edition due out in December. Who

are they? You know them well; they are Christine Maclure and Tricia Cochrane.

I owe a huge debt of gratitude to all the dozens of helpful and talented folk who have contributed to the pages of Kirk

Matters over the last six years. We have all enjoyed their humour, intellect, perception and knowledge, which in one

form or another, have shone through their writings. And we’re not short of humour in this edition; try David Adam’s

piece inside on moving animals, dung and mighty machines!! And where would we be without the tireless efforts of

May Bayne and her delivery team, who ensure that your copy arrives on your doorstep on time.

And finally may I say that I have greatly enjoyed putting this rag together since the Summer of 2010, and now with

much pleasure hand over to two capable pairs of hands.

Andrew Whitehead

CAMPBELL AND MAIS STEVEN

David and I first met Campbell Steven and his wife Mais in 1973 when David was inducted into the church then known

as Helensburgh Old and St Andrews. Campbell, (a graduate of Oxford University) was a member of the Kirk Session

and there was a similarity in out histories in that his first wife had died some years before, leaving a bereft Campbell

and his children Helen and John. Mais was thus his second wife.

Campbell was a powerful Christian force and a very keen advocate of “house groups,” which resonated with David’s

own attitude to the nurturing of Christian understanding. He was a writer, a keen mountaineer and amateur

ornithologist who as well as writing several books on his outdoor experiences, contributed regularly to such

publications as Scottish Field.

He and Mais were most delightfully blessed with a young son, Kenneth, who was a happy presence in the church

community. They moved away from Helensburgh, first to Crieff and then to Aberfeldy, where Campbell died, aged 90.

I still have a lively relationship with Mais, now also 90, and over the years we have watched Kenneth develop into a

poet and writer himself; in fact there is an article by him about his recent book on page 53 of the June edition of Life

and Work.

Isobel Reid

SESSION CLERK’S NOTES

Continuing with the policy of informing everyone as far as possible of the business dealt with by your Kirk Session,

here are a few notes about the Session and from the latest meeting of Session.

The Kirk Session is made up of the Moderator (the Minister), the Session Clerk and several Elders. The appointment of

Elders follows a set pattern whereby the existing Elders draw up a list of persons whom they feel would make suitable

candidates and the Minister will then approach the individuals to ask if they would be willing to take on the office.

Some basic training then follows and at a Sunday service, the new candidate/s is ordained in due course. The Kirk

Session meets four times each year although additional meetings may be necessary from time to time to discuss urgent

business.

At Cleish, we have what is known as a “Unitary Constitution” in that there is no Congregational Board, the Kirk

Session being responsible for all matters, including property and finance, whereas if there was a Board, such matters

would be dealt with by the members of the Board. Our Kirk Session has various committees, each with a convenor and

these cover such topics as Social, Fundraising, Outreach, Communications, Worship, Property and Finance amongst

others.

At the most recent Session meeting, held towards the end of June, we discussed the Local Church Review report which

had been submitted by the team from Presbytery who visited back in February. Unfortunately their report was very

brief and not very encouraging, so we have requested a further meeting with the team in order to explore further their

comments, before anything is submitted formally to Presbytery.

As mentioned in the last newsletter, we are obliged under current Data Protection law to seek approval from all

members for the church to retain certain personal information such as names, addresses, contact details, etc and in due

course each individual will be asked for this permission. This is a huge exercise and we seek your patience and

understanding. Please be assured that the information retained will be used only for administration purposes and will be

regarded as confidential at all times.

There will be an “Open Doors” initiative on 24 and 25 September this year when the Church will be open to the public

from 2.00 pm to 5.00 pm each day. Anyone willing to act as a guide on either day should contact the Session Clerk.

The Church of Scotland has encouraged congregations over a number of years to consider “Stewardship” under the

headings Time, Talents and Money. We have completed the first two and as previously noted, our theme this year is

Money, but have no fear, the Elders will not be knocking on doors and twisting arms. We have had a meeting with a

Stewardship Consultant from the Church of Scotland which was very informative and a small steering group will be

formed shortly which, with assistance from the consultant, will guide us through the next stages of the initiative. In the

course of the next few months, information will be distributed about Cleish Church’s running costs, income and the

like, so that everyone is aware of where we are. It is hoped that everyone will give consideration to their level of

contributions, signing up to Gift Aid if applicable and possibly agreeing to Standing Order payments to ensure regular

contributions are received. We hope to have the details of the initiative thrashed out early in 2017 and more

information will gradually appear over the next few months.

Neil Maclure

Cleish from aboveApril 2016

Photo by David Crosbie

MORE GEMS FROM CLEISH SCHOOL

It has been a quick year and a very busy term at Cleish Primary. At our end of term assembly we said goodbye to

another group of primary 7s who are headed for Kinross High; we will miss them but we know they will all have a

super experience as they move on to secondary school.

Our new Primary 1 pupils have been visiting the school as part of their transition. They came along for a picnic and

then came for two afternoons where they got to know the children who have been in P1 this year as well as their P7

buddies who will look after them in the first few weeks.

There have been many achievements and exciting learning experiences happening in and out of school including visits

to Vane Farm, Sports Day and the Primary 7 residential trip to Dalguise which was a lot of fun!

In the last newsletter we included two stories which had been written by primary 6 pupils as part of a competition. So

many members of the community commented positively about the standard of the writing and how much they had

enjoyed reading the children’s work. This time you will have the pleasure of reading stories by two of our younger

children. I hope that you enjoy them!

Anna Nesbitt: Head Teacher

(If you ever worry about a decline in educational standards among our kids, read on and be reassured! – Editor)

THE WOLF IN CLEISH By Niamh Chumley, Primary 5

The wolf stared at it with its gleaming gold eyes. The animal didn't look much to eat but he took it. He crunched it

down in one gulp. In Scotland nowadays there wasn't any room for wolves. He looked around as his senses tingled.

He was at a burn that the humans called the “Gairney burn” but he called it the “Trout burn”. His midnight black fur

shone in the sunlight. The day was getting hotter by the moment. The sun’s rays burned down on his fur. He didn't

have a name but he didn't care. He finally stepped in to the cool fresh water and as it swirled around him he could see

tiny brown shapes darting in the water. He suddenly yelped as something tickled his fur. He looked around to see that it

was a bit of green plant that was growing in the water. After a few moments he batted about in the water making huge

ripples. After an hour or so he got bored and climbed out with his fur sagging down making his fur feel wet and heavy.

He then lay down in the sun for an afternoon snooze.

When he woke up the sun was beating down on him. As he padded away from the burn, he came upon a cow field. He

scrambled at the fence but he couldn't climb over. He scratched and scratched at the fence but he could not climb over.

He finally destroyed the fence and jumped over. The grassy landscape turned in to something like a marsh. His eyes

twitched from side to side excitedly as he went further in to the field. After a few minutes something caught his eye it

was black and white and it said “Moo”. He went closer but it turned out to be a big cow. He jumped back in surprise

and then galloped to the edge of the field and sprang over the fence. He carefully came closer to a road and jumped

back in surprise again but this time it wasn't a cow it was a car. He didn't call a road a road he called it fire path because

it smelled a bit like fire to him and he called a car a fire roarer.

He quickly trotted across fire path desperate to not get squished but every time he put down his paw his pads stung like

fury because the black stones had something on them. When he got across to the other side he lay down on his side and

fell asleep panting.

The next day he woke up to the noise of pattering rain. He walked along a path for a few seconds and came upon a

school and a church. The school was on the left side of the road and the church was on the right from his point of view

but, there was a 3rd choice he went through another cow field, through a field with a horse in it and then made his way

up the hill. He was going up to the Cleish hills where he promised himself there would be food and water. When he got

to the top he found a good spot to start hunting and from that day on he lived there peacefully.

THE SECRET MEADOW By Emily Addison, Primary 3

There once was a little girl called Lilly who lived in a small village called Cleish. She lived with her mother Mabel and

her pet goldfish whose name was Sparky. Lilly was eight years old with blond hair and blue eyes.

The house that they lived in was made of logs stacked up and mud and moss to fill in the gaps. It was built by Lilly’s

mother and her friends because they didn’t have much money. They had a bath which was an old pig’s trough. The

kitchen and living room was a single room with a fire in the middle. The house only had one bedroom where Lilly slept

and her mother slept in the living room.

Lilly like to play with her friends and they liked to chase each other around the village hall gardens which was next to

the church in Cleish. The village had a really small primary school where all the children went.

One day Lilly was playing hopscotch in the back garden with her friend Holly on the stepping stones, after that they

decided to play hide and seek.

They played in a part of the garden that Lilly had never been in before. After a while something sparkling caught

Holly’s eye, she told Lilly and they ran to it. It was hidden by a bush. The girls managed to squeeze past the bush and

saw a gate. They opened the gate and could see a beautiful meadow with lots of flowers, butterflies and bees. Lilly

heard a distant moo.

Lilly decided to go and tell her mother about the secret gate. Her mother came to see the secret gate but it wasn’t there.

It had disappeared. Her mother went back in to the house and the gate appeared again.

The girls decided to go back into the meadow to explore on their own. The girls heard another moo and they decided to

follow the sound. It led them to the end of the meadow where there was a forest. The mooing got louder as they

continued to follow it into the forest.

They went very deep into the forest and eventually saw the cow which had been making the noise. The girls saw that

the cow’s leg was caught in a branch from a fallen tree. The girls got the cow free and the cow ran away.

Lilly realised that the trees were multi coloured. Suddenly Holly spotted a fairy on one of the trees and showed Lilly.

The fairy flew away and the girls followed the fairy without the fairy knowing that they were there. The girls followed

the fairy to a magical land where there were lots of fairies and unusual beautiful things.

The fairy noticed the girls and she and the other fairies were frightened and they hid but Lilly said to the fairies that they

weren’t going to harm them. One by one the fairies showed them to their little houses. Lilly told the fairies that she too

lived in a wooden house with her mother.

Mia told the girls that the evil fairy was called Lucinda she also told the girls that they could help the fairies to catch

Lucinda so that she can never harm them again, but this would take some planning.

The fairies showed the girls where there was a deep dark swamp in the middle of the forest. They thought that this

would be the best place for her to go and they had a very small cage that they could put her in. Mia would put an

unbreakable spell on the cage and the evil fairy powers would never work again

.

The girls set up a trap to capture Lucinda the next time she came. The trap was set up next to the berries that Lucinda

loves, so all they have to do now is wait for her to come back.

The girls and the fairies were talking about how Lilly and Holly got there, they told the fairies about the secret gate and

how it disappeared when Lilly went to show her mother.

The next morning when the girls woke up checked the trap and found Lucinda inside. They all took the cage to the

swamp.

Lilly and Holly went back into the meadow and the gate was fading away. The girls told Mia the gate was

disappearing. Mia told the girls they would start disappearing too if they didn’t get out in time. Lilly and Holly quickly

said “Goodbye!” to their new fairy friends and ran through the gate. They went to Lilly’s mother in the house. “You

weren’t long.” Said Mabel. The girls looked at each other in surprise. They had been away for two days. Mabel told

Lilly that Holly could stay for a sleep over tonight.

That night the moon was glittering and the girls sat up all night talking about their adventure.

TRAIDCRAFT STALL 1st Sunday of the month at coffee after the service.

We would like to thank the customers from Cleish who spent £918.50 over the last year buying fairly traded chocolate,

coffee, raisins and other items. This is an excellent total.

Traidcraft supports producers all over the world by giving them a fair price for their goods and giving them a market to

sell their products in the UK. This changes lives as it allows parents to support their children with food, clothes and

education. We also have catalogues which show the many craft items including jewellery and household items which

can be ordered.

Our stall does not make a profit for Kinross Parish Church; all the proceeds go to paying for the goods and buying more

stock. The sales of Cleish and Fossoway together totalled £1,645.95, so on behalf of Traidcraft’s producers, thank you

for your support. You have also helped the Kinross Traidcraft Group to become the top seller of Traidcraft goods in

Scotland! Our total sales last year were £16,133 which is almost £5000 up on the previous year.

Please come and say hello and try something from the stall or take a catalogue and phone or email me to make an order.

Many people have said that they wish they had remembered to bring money on the 1st Sunday on the month so please

write it on your calendar!

Thank you.

Isobel Watt

MESSY CHURCH

We have had a marvellous season of Messy Church get-togethers, with mostly the usual suspects turning up in the

village hall on the second Monday afternoon of every month. We are a good team of enthusiastic helpers and all of us

really enjoy spending time helping the children with their craft projects, their baking and their songs. Usually we have

7 or 8 children, mostly of primary school age, but some of their little brothers and sisters tag along too – and we're very

happy to see them as well, of course! The mums and dads who come can relax with a cup of tea or coffee and have a

chat to us or each other, as well as joining in with whatever their offspring are doing.

We usually have a theme – for instance, Easter, Bonfire Night, or Harvest. This term we had “Frozen” and “The

Feeding of the 5,000”. This means that all the activities are connected in some way, so that the children have been

doing things like making models of snowmen out of cotton wool balls or swirly mobiles, decorating tea light jars with

beautiful colours, gluing pictures using autumn leaves (that wasn't this term, obviously!), playing games of Giant Jenga

or catching popcorn out of the popcorn machine. We also have food! This is very welcome to the children after a long

day at school and is always the most popular activity. They bake bread, they make pizza, they decorate cupcakes, they

spread sandwiches. And that's not to mention the cake pops – if you don't know what they are, ask Mary McDougall,

who has a never-ending repertoire of bakery things to do with children!

We always end with a sit-down and a story from the Bible, then a bit of singing which usually 'razzes' them up again to

go home for tea. It really is good fun for everyone involved – we enjoy getting to know the children and they keep

coming back for more...

We don't have Messy Church in the summer holidays, so our next one will be on the 12th of September.

Bridie Graham

CLEISH CHURCH SALE AND FETE 2016

On behalf of Cleish Church, we would like to thank everyone who helped in any way to make this a very successful and

enjoyable afternoon and helping us to raise just over £3200. The weather in the morning caused a few headaches and it

was all hands on deck helping to keep the tents from “taking off” followed by heavy rain at midday!

Thank you too to everyone who contributed to the stalls - baking, produce, books and media, bric-a-brac, children’s

items, plants and tombola and not forgetting the delicious teas. The sale of the notelets always goes well and the field

games were enjoyed by all ages. The Dog Show was very popular with everyone too. Finally, you can’t have a Sale

and Fete without ice-cream and it doesn’t matter what the weather is!

Margaret McMillan & Helen Buchanan

BLYTHSWOOD SHOEBOX APPEAL

A big thank you to everybody who contributed in any way to the Shoe Box Appeal in 2015, enabling Blythswood to

gather and distribute 116,576 shoeboxes. This is approximately 10% more than 2014.

The shoe boxes received last year were distributed in Albania, Bulgaria, Hungary, Kosovo, Moldova, Pakistan,

Romania, Serbia and Ukraine.

Cleish Church played their part, and hopefully we will again. We feel that by starting early we can do even better this

year.

Shopping list for the boxes include: shampoo, face cloth, deodorant, comb or hairbrush, household candles, basic tools,

kitchen utensils, underwear, pens, notepaper, crayons, winter hat, gloves and scarves. These can be for women, men,

girls and boys. Collect each time you go shopping and keep at your home and in October we will have a “filling the

boxes event.” Many, many thanks again for your help.

Tricia Cochrane and Margaret McMillan.

STUMPIE

At the edge of the village of Scotlandwell lies Portmoak Moss which is one of the few surviving Raised Peat Bogs in

Scotland. I have enjoyed walking through the woods here for many years and always believed that I looked around and

took note of my surroundings. You can imagine my surprise and shock when, some weeks ago on a walk with my wife,

I spied this figure on the edge of the tree line of the central clearing.

I pointed it out and our initial reaction was to assume this

was no natural phenomenon but a ‘put up’ job. We were

sufficiently intrigued to take a closer look and, yes, it’s just a

natural undoctored tree stump. We named it ‘Stumpie’.

‘Stumpie’ stands about 7 feet high and can be seen from the

path which winds over the main central clearing. Now to

see this figure as my photo shows, there’s just a narrow

angle of view. A few steps earlier and a few steps further

on, it’s just another tree stump. Catch it at the right

angle and with the sun shining on it and it’s an amazing sight.

I’ve been surprised at the number of locals who have never noticed it and no, the photograph has not been tweaked.

James Barr

MOVING ANIMALS, MOVING DUNG AND MIGHTY MACHINES

Animals do a great deal for themselves and are mobile, attractive and interesting in a whole variety of ways. Whereas,

dung.. well, it just waits for things to happen to it. This is all very well, on the whole, until it has to be moved. And

moving things about is a primary farming activity.

Let’s look first at moving animals. There are different skills for moving cattle, moving sheep and moving goats. When

they have learnt to link their owner’s call with coming into the byre and finding food, cattle can be called in. CC's

cattle would come off the hill in a bounding stampede, the youngsters doing corkscrew jumps, hooves churning divots

of turf. Their attunement is very specific, as I found out after she had died. The cows were needed for a veterinary test.

Time, I thought, to call them in, as she had done, with as near as I could manage the same encouraging tone. No

response... I walked up the hill to get closer and called again. Still no response. I went closer and called from just a few

yards. They eyed me with benevolent curiosity. "What is he doing??" And: "We'd help you if we could, old chap, but

we just don't get what it is you want us to do.." I drove them down and into the yard.

Moving sheep depends upon their tendency to flock or scatter. Never folk to make life easy, we had both types. The

Portlands, along with various crossbreds would flock, and on a good day our dogs would help bring them in - well, it

usually worked with both two legged (us) and four legged dogs; I developed a way of moving the flock forward with

my voice, while the dogs would head off the ones that broke away. The Soays, an older smaller and wilder, more

temperamental breed, tended to scatter, and were much more tricky to round up. We learnt to rely on one or two leaders

in the flock that remembered the way home, and would raise their heads and charge headlong for the gate that they

knew.

Goats... Well, goats are simply very independent and very trying.

The most reliable way for moving all animals, we found, was the offer of food. Food sorts out everything. All animals

will follow a bucket or rush to new grass. If food is not available, find something the animals believe, or can be

persuaded to believe contains food (a bucket?) and use it. This stands for me as The First Law of Farming. Best to

create a strong association with buckets from the start. (You may not be able to hold on to a bucket at times if you

happen to have one with you in the open - e.g. while mending a fence.)

And food turns swiftly into: Dung!

The novice farmer is in my experience largely unprepared for the quantities of dung that animals produce. After all,

animals are visible out in the open, while dung is less seen. Even when aggregated, it tends to be kept away under

cover or hidden in heaps. Few people embark upon farming for the purpose of aggregating quantities of dung.

Although that is exactly what in effect they are preparing to do.

In our barn the animals would compress their dung into successive levels of straw that we spread regularly for clean

bedding. This rich combination builds up so the animals gradually rise higher in relation to the barriers that hold them

in. Hopefully Spring brings enough new grass to put them out, just in time to forestall their escape over the pens. In

time, and with increasing warmth, the manure and straw start to break down. Insects multiply exponentially, and we

were always greeted by a host of swallows and house martins returning from their winter migration to feed and breed at

Meadowhead.

Finally, you have to face the inevitable. The resident muck must be moved. All distractions - these are infinite on a

farm - must be set aside, and you have to pick up the tools and dig! There are the major questions of what to fork the

dung into, where to take it and what to do with it after that. To begin with we only had barrows, and we would spread

what we had dug straight on to a field. It really helps to have a barrow with two wheels at the front if you begin this

way. The temptation to overfill the barrow is too great, and with only one wheel it becomes difficult to predict exactly

where any load will end up.

As you might imagine, our first efforts had a high ratio of effort to achievement. Lots of bracing and fulfilling work

and fresh air, with less impact upon the accumulated dung than we had hoped. We then acquired a small garden tractor

and trailer from a nearby castle. This increased our productivity considerably, although the combination had a struggle

with the amounts we loaded on to it. By this time our sons were beginning to lend a hand which was a great help.

However I took my eye off the maintenance schedule and through lack of oil the wee machine had a seizure.

So it was at last time to think big, especially as animal numbers were multiplying. Cows were replacing goats, and a

horse had arrived, too. We bought a Fordson Dexter! A truly mighty machine with power beyond imagination and a

three point linkage. We got a wide transit box at a roup (local farm displenishing) and had traded the previous

combination for a bigger trailer.

And then came an ancient Massey Ferguson dung spreader, like one that I had first encountered in miniature as a Dinky

toy some 35 years before. Once in action, after some unclogging and lubrication, this machine was terrifying in its

capability. It flung muck everywhere with indiscriminate abandon. As it did this, we discovered that the animals had

churned stones out of the compacted barn floor into the mix, and the spreader would fling these, much as the biblical

boy David had at the giant Goliath, though at a much a higher and widely scattered rate of fire.

Fortunately rain would wash most of the stones clean, so I could take a barrow and retrieve them before the grass grew

and the field was mown for hay or silage.

Dung when compressed and a bit rotted in an old stone byre has to be wrenched out in large divots and flung into a

trailer. A long handled fork with long tines bent at right angles gives good leverage for this; a normal dung fork gets

quickly bent out of shape. With practice you learn to swing the fork down hard into the dung, give it a well levered

twist and follow through to heave the divot up and land it in the trailer. A few hours at this is pretty bracing and one

ends the work tired and with some physical satisfaction. It became a regular part of our farm rhythm. The smell was

always pungent, and became allied to the familiar feeling of necessary work accomplished.

The farm continued to expand and to require changes in how we worked. In due course the Dexter had its seizure, of its

differential gears. An aspiring young engineer took the whole thing apart and fitted a new rear to the tractor, recovered

from the wreck of another that had lain rusting at a farm near Kincardine. And then we got hold of an old International

276 with power steering and far better front and back hydraulics. Its engine gave out after nearly 20 years with us, and

was replaced by an aged BMC tractor which was capable but also rather obstinate in its behaviour. The advent of the

Machinery Ring made it much easier to get larger jobs done by hiring capable people with their modern machines. So

our own tasks focused on the minor bits of clearing up. The climax to all this came when I had to spread two large

heaps of old dung, that had stood out for years against all our attempts to disperse them, before putting Meadowhead on

the market.

I called up the Ring and arranged the job with a contractor, explaining carefully that it would only suit medium sized

machinery at a maximum. On the day a distant rumbling along the lane drew my attention, and then my curiosity as it

got louder, and then my surprise and finally my consternation as an enormous convoy of colossal proportions hove into

view, shiny clean and belching diesel smoke! I had never encountered such huge vehicles. It seemed to me they could

have removed the entirety of our farm standing in one go. A full scale invasion seemed underway, missing only the

throb and drone of helicopters.

This 21st century armada could not possibly get into our tiny third world fields. Fortunately the contractor graciously

acknowledged the mistake; we had a good laugh and the massed forces for power dung spreading retired as they had

arrived like ships in line of battle. A more modestly equipped team did the final honours. The farm was ready for new

management.

David Adams

CLEISH CHURCH DIARY

AUGUST

Sunday, 7 11.15am Morning Worship. Tea and Coffee in Village Hall, Traidcraft Stall

Sunday, 14 11.15am Morning Worship

Sunday, 21 11.15am Morning Worship

Sunday, 28 11.15am Morning Worship. Sacrament of Holy Communion Congregational lunch in the

Village Hall

SEPTEMBER

Sunday, 4 11.15am Morning Worship. Junior Church. Tea and Coffee in Village Hall. Traidcraft Stall.

Sunday, 11 11.15am Morning Worship

Monday, 12 3.15pm Cleish ‘Messy Church’ in Village Hall. All children and carers welcome

Sunday, 18 11.15am Season of Giving Morning Worship. Junior Church. Guild Dedication Service

followed by refreshments in the Village Hall

Friday, 23 7.00pm Beetle Drive in the Village Hall. All welcome

Sunday, 25 11.15am Season of Giving Back to Church Sunday Morning Worship. Tea and coffee

served in the Young Room.

Monday, 26 7.15pm Cleish Guild meets in Village Hall

OCTOBER

Sunday, 2 11.15am Harvest Thanksgiving. All-age worship and Season of Giving. Junior Church

Harvest Lunch served by Cleish Guild in Village Hall

Sunday, 9 11.15am Morning Worship

Sunday, 16 11.15am Morning Worship

Sunday, 23 11.15am Morning Worship. Junior Church

Sunday, 23 7.30pm Cleish & Fossoway Joint Choir Annual Concert

Monday, 31 2.00pm Cleish Guild – Fundraising Afternoon Tea in the Village Hall

NOVEMBER

Sunday, 6 11.15am Morning Worship. Junior Church. Tea and Coffee in Village Hall. Traidcraft Stall.

Monday, 7 3.15pm Cleish ‘Messy Church’ in Village Hall. All children and carers welcome

Sunday, 13 11.15am Remembrance Sunday Morning Worship Congregational lunch

Sunday, 20 11.15am Morning Worship. Junior Church in Young Room

Sunday, 27 11.15am Morning Worship. Sacrament of Holy Communion

Monday, 28 7.15pm Cleish Guild meets in the Village Hall

Funerals

Olive Johnson at Saline cemetery on 25th February 2016.

Sheila Bell at Perth Crematorium on 22nd April 2016.

Weddings

Lucinda Rose Pears and Charles Millar at Cleish Parish Church on Saturday 2nd April 2016.

…....and finally….

ANOTHER EXPLANATION OF BREXIT

So, let me get this straight… the leader of the opposition campaigned to stay but secretly wanted to leave, so his party

held a non-binding vote to shame him into resigning so someone else could lead the campaign to ignore the result of the

non-binding referendum which many people now think was just angry people trying to shame politicians into seeing

they’d all done nothing to help them.

Meanwhile, the man who campaigned to leave because he hoped losing would help him win the leadership of his party,

accidentally won and ruined any chance of leading because the man who thought he couldn’t lose, did – but resigned

before actually doing the thing the vote had been about. The man who’d always thought he’d lead next, campaigned so

badly that everyone thought he was lying when he said the economy would crash – and he was, but it did, but he’s not

resigned, but, like the man who lost and the man who won, also now can’t become leader. Which means the woman

who quietly campaigned to stay but always said she wanted to leave is likely to become leader instead.

Which means she holds the same view as the leader of the opposition but for opposite reasons, but her party’s view of

this view is the opposite of the opposition’s. And the opposition aren’t yet opposing anything because the leader isn’t

listening to his party, who aren’t listening to the country, who aren’t listening to experts or possibly paying that much

attention at all. However, none of their opponents actually want to be the one to do the thing that the vote was about, so

there’s not yet anything actually on the table to oppose anyway. And if no one ever does do the thing that most people

asked them to do, it will be undemocratic and if any one ever does do it, it will be awful.

Clear?

Anon

Cleish Guild

invite you to

Afternoon Tea

in Cleish Village Hall

Monday, 31 October 2016

2.00 – 4.00pm

Bring & Buy Stall £4.00

All proceeds to Guild Projects

(Cleish Church Charity No: 003168)