CLOSET HOURS

CLOSET HOURS CRITIQUES – FEBRUARY 11, 2021

[TAMIKA – EBOOK LANDING PAGE] https://www.outsource4me.credit/WhiteLabeledeBookPage Great writing on what you have here. You’re missing some critical landing page elements: HEADLINE What’s the benefit of getting the eBook? What will the reader get from the book? Something like: Get the Book Other Goal Getters Are Using to Boost Their Credit Scores, Secure Lower Interest Rates and Get Lifestyle-Changing Approvals PAIN STORY Why does the reader need or crave this book? What are they struggling with that makes this book the answer to their prayers? If you cringe whenever it’s time to apply for credit or you’ve been putting your lifestyle goals on hold because you’re credit score isn’t good enough, I want you to know you have the power to change all of that. You see, you have the power to invest in a XX-page DIY Credit Repair Book that’s jam-packed with the exact steps and strategies and even sample dispute letters you need to remove derogatory items from your credit and finally get on the path to creating the lifestyle you’ve always wanted. The bigger house, the luxury car, the low-interest-rate credit cards, the instant loan approvals … they can all be yours when you use our eBook to repair your credit …

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OFFER DETAILS Good here, just present the offer as a solution by tying it to the pain. BULLETS These should connect features to benefits – the benefits are not clear enough. The audience seems to have switched for the bullets. You need to explain this is for consumers and credit repair agencies. Perfect for both consumers and credit repair agencies, The DIY … gives you: Access to swipe-and-send dispute letters to remove derogatory items that are destroying your (or your clients’) credit scores Proven, easy-to-follow credit repair steps and strategies thousands of clients have used to skyrocket their credit ratings PRICE Don’t ask the question how much does it cost – you want to position the value of the offer and make it irresistible regardless of price. Now, while it’s hard to put a price tag on such priceless information, we have decided to offer the eBook at a special rate for a limited time. You see, we know how having an excellent credit score can change your life (or your clients’ lives) and we want to do what we can to help you experience the lifestyle shift that comes along with great credit. BUT, as we said, what we share inside this eBook is golden so we’re not sure how much longer we’ll have it sitting at this insanely low price. That means if you’re ready to level up your credit (or help your clients level up theirs), now’s the time to get the eBook before time runs out on the special offer. CLOSING They don’t want a beautiful eBook, they want the information inside – what problem is this solving? Restate that to close out the page.

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[EVELYN – PRODUCT PAGES] Good writing here – great job explaining the offers. You’re missing some critical landing page elements: DESCRIPTION #1 – SPARK HEADLINE What’s the benefit of investing in the offer. I’d change the titles to headlines. Something like: Get the Spark You Need to Ignite Your Next Level in Life and Business PAIN STORY Start each description off with a pain question/statement so the reader knows you understand where they are now. For example: Feeling like you know you’re destined for more but you seem to be Velcroed to the same struggles and you have no idea how to shift forward? If you’re nodding your head YES, then I have just the spark you need to ignite your next level. OFFER DETAILS Good here, just present the offer as a solution by tying it to the pain. BULLETS You have a lot of features – but you also have to tell the reader WHY they need all this stuff so it doesn’t feel like random stuff. PRICE I suggest putting the price on the booking page. OR if you want it here, you need context. The language we talk about all the time like because I want to see you win and I don’t want you to struggle to hit your next level any longer than you have to, I’m opening up this coaching session for an investment of XXX – which is 50% lower than what my peers charge.

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Now, with that said, I don’t know how much longer I can keep my coaching rate at this noncompetitive level. So, if you’re ready to invest in your next level, don’t wait – schedule your session today before spots fill up. DESCRIPTION #2 – SUCCESS HEADLINE What’s the benefit of investing in the offer. I’d change the titles to headlines. Something like: Get the Guidance You Need to Create the Life and Business You Want PAIN STORY Listen, if you’ve been treading water for a long time and maybe even feeling like you’re drowning some days, I’m here to give you the lifeline you’ve been waiting for … OFFER DETAILS Good here, just present the offer as a solution by tying it to the pain. BULLETS Tell me why I need this stuff. A 60-minute Zoom call so you can discover how to _________. Access to session notes so you can go back and re-listen and catch even more gems than you did the first time An easy-to-follow action plan so you never again wonder or feel confused about which step you should take next to create the life and business you want PRICE See previous comment

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CLOSING Add context to the session packages. Ready to take a deep-dive into your level up and already know 1 session won’t be enough? I commend your commitment to your transformation and invite you to explore our 4- and 6-month private coaching packages curated exclusively for bold action takers like you. To find out more, email me at ______. DESCRIPTION #3 – SOUL HEADLINE What’s the benefit of investing in the offer. I’d change the titles to headlines. Use previous examples and guidance to craft a headline here. PAIN STORY Start each description off with a pain question/statement so the reader knows you understand where they are now. For example: If you’re feeling as if life has been tossing dirt your way, don’t take it personal. Just know that it’s time to plant seeds and that’s what you can count on my Soul Path … Session Readings to help you do. Tapping into the power of Tarot cards, we’ll ______ OFFER DETAILS Good here, just present the offer as a solution by tying it to the pain. BULLETS Same as previous comments – add benefits to the feature bullets PRICE See previous comment [TEQUILA – PROTECTED GOOGLE DOC]