CM 220: Effective Writing II CM 220: Effective Writing II for Arts & Sciences Majorsfor Arts & Sciences Majors

Writing the rough draftIntroductionsConclusionsTransitionsPeer reviewing

Tonight’s seminarTonight’s seminarHow do I create a draft of my essay

based on the feedback I have received so far?

How do I strengthen my thesis statement?

How do I write effective introductions and conclusions?

How do I create transitions from one section of my paper to another?

Next week: Writing effective peer reviews

Assignments for unit 6Assignments for unit 6For this week’s discussion, post introduction

and conclusion paragraphs for your rough draft, explaining why you chose the techniques you did.

Write a rough draft of your persuasive essay and post it in the unit 6 dropbox.

Read the instructions for the peer review (to be completed in unit 7) in the “Peer Review Sign-Up” section of unit 6.

Contact those in your peer review group by the end of unit 6 and determine who will be reviewing each paper.

Review the feedback you received on the units 3 and 4 projects and in the discussion threads for units 2, 3, and 5. Use the suggestions to develop your rough draft.

You must include at least three sources in this draft (in the text itself, not simply in the References page), one of which must be an academic source from Kaplan's library. Be sure that you follow the guidelines for paraphrasing, quoting, and citing that we discussed in units 4 and 5!

What are the requirements What are the requirements for the rough draft?for the rough draft?

Requirements for draft. . .Requirements for draft. . .Your draft must be at least 5-7 pages

long (not including the title page and References page) and contain an introduction and conclusion. Make certain that your introduction includes your thesis statement. 

Make sure your paper is persuasive in nature, not informative. While you will be providing information to your readers about your topic, the overall emphasis of the paper should be persuading your audience to agree with a particular position.

Step 1: Review the “big Step 1: Review the “big picture”picture”This essay will be persuasive, not

informative.The essay must have a solid thesis statement that expresses the main argument you are making in your essay.

Each body paragraph has three parts: a topic sentence, supporting sentences, and a closing sentence that wraps up the paragraph.

A persuasive thesis A persuasive thesis should. . .should. . .Take a position about which reasonable

people could disagreeDeal with a subject that can be

adequately treated given the nature of the assignment (in our case, an 8-10 page paper)

Express one main ideaAssert your conclusions about a subject Contain words like "because," "since,"

"so," "although," "unless," and "however."

Informative vs. persuasive Informative vs. persuasive thesisthesisInformative: "No Child Left Behind

aims to improve student performance and to provide disadvantaged children with better educational opportunities."

Persuasive thesis: "No Child Left Behind should be repealed because the act has diminished opportunities for improved student performance.”

Topic sentencesTopic sentences

Don’t "announce" your topic . Example of a weak topic sentence: Here are three ideas for finding a job in today’s market.

Be specific. Broad topic sentences cannot be addressed in a paragraph.

Have one main idea in your topic sentence. This will ensure that your paragraph is cohesive.

Make your topic sentence something that needs to be proven to the reader. What evidence will you need to provide in your paragraph to convince the reader of the idea in your topic sentence?

Assert an opinion and have an “angle.” Example of a strong topic sentence: Searching for a job has become more complicated in today’s market due to the increasing number of job search sites on the web.

Step 2: Review and Step 2: Review and prepareprepareReview previous unit discussions and

seminars, particularly on issues like APA citation, paraphrasing, and creating a thesis.

The handbook is a helpful resource, so go back over the section on writing persuasive essays (pp. 119-133), how to write a strong paragraph (pp. 44-52) and introductions and conclusions (pp. 52-58).

Review Writing Center library handouts on areas of concern.

Step 3: Getting started Step 3: Getting started One Reading link for this week is

called “Getting Started on a Draft: Cures for Writer’s Block.”

In this Reading document, many ideas appear that can help students as they begin writing the draft.

The next few slides—with apologies—contain some “do not” rules for drafting as discussed in the “Getting Started . . .” link.

These rules are very important and deal with the writing process.

In other words, do not do the bulk of your research while you are drafting. Research is a separate step and should be completed before drafting. Hopefully, you have already completed most of the research you need to write the draft.

However, you may need to hunt for additional support for your claims while drafting.

Step 4: Do not mix up steps in Step 4: Do not mix up steps in the process: research is not the process: research is not drafting.drafting.

Step 5: Do not mix up steps in the Step 5: Do not mix up steps in the process: thesis construction is not process: thesis construction is not drafting.drafting.You should have your thesis with

your main idea in place for the draft.You may change the thesis as you

draft if your position or main supporting reason change.

If you do not have a persuasive thesis e-mail me with specific questions!

Be sure to review the feedback I gave you on the units 3 and 4 projects (those projects should also have some of the main ideas you plan to use to support your thesis).

Step 6: Do not mix up steps in the Step 6: Do not mix up steps in the process: revising sentences and process: revising sentences and paragraphs is not drafting.paragraphs is not drafting.

* “Do not write a sentence and then revise it before writing the next sentence. This is the least efficient way to draft.” * Why? You are spending time revising sentences that you may later delete. It's wasted energy. Write first, then go back and revise and edit. However, you will want to edit for careless errors before posting the draft to the dropbox, and you do want to make sure that your citations are done correctly.

Step 7: Write body Step 7: Write body paragraphs first.paragraphs first.Consider the purpose of the

introduction and conclusion. As the writer, shouldn’t you “meet” the body of your paper before you introduce it to someone else or make conclusions about it?

This “body-paragraphs-first” technique can help you write a stronger introduction and conclusions.

Step 8: Budget your time!Step 8: Budget your time!Decide before you sit down to write what

you wish to accomplish during that writing session. Will you complete one body paragraph? Will you work on a first draft of the entire body?

Here’s the bottom line: We all know we make time for the things that are important to us. This draft is important. Staying focused on the course is important. The success achieved from doing both is important!

Step 9: Write the Step 9: Write the introduction and conclusionintroduction and conclusionConsider that each of these paragraphs

has three functions.In brief, the functions are as follows:

* Introduction: Engage attention, provide background and definition of topic, and state thesis (usually in a single sentence at the very end of the paragraph).* Conclusion: Restate your main idea (although it should not be word-for word the same thesis sentence in your introduction), wrap up major ideas, and close the essay while keeping the reader engaged.

What to avoid in What to avoid in introductionsintroductions No

truisms/obvious statements

No complaints No personal

apologies to instructor.

No dictionary definitions—create your own!

No known factsNo platitudesNo “I believe”

statements. Don’t use 2nd

person (you) or 1st person (I)

No outrageous statements

No announcing!

Introductions: Techniques Introductions: Techniques to useto useUse interesting

details Tell a storyExplain

importance of topic

Use descriptive language

Raise a provocative question

Use quoteUse question or

questionsReference a

newspaper headline

Open with a shocking statement

Do include your thesis statement!

Conclusions: Techniques Conclusions: Techniques to useto useMake it memorable!

Think of movie endings, which can either “grab” you (The Sixth Sense) or leave you feeling frustrated or “hanging.”

Note unanswered questions

Suggest directions for further research

Mirror introduction/bring full circle

Repeat first lineOffer a challengeTell a joke or witty

sayingCall for more

researchOffer speculation

about the problemTell the reader

you still don’t know the answer!

Sample introductionSample introductionA child’s world is full of violence. It appears in

video games, films, and TV programs, and many parents in the hope of removing their children from some of this violence are encouraging and sometimes pushing their children into participating in organized sports. Unfortunately, this same violence is creeping into Little League, Pee Wee football, soccer, basketball, and hockey, in the form of the parents’ and coaches’ poor conduct and rage. This violent behavior on the part of parents and coaches must be curbed to bring back a focus on the rules and skills of the game as well as a sense of good sportsmanship and values.

From “Curbing Parental Sports Rage,” the sample persuasive essay in the KU Handbook for Writers, p. 155.

Sample conclusionSample conclusionParents across the United States

and into Canada need to let go of their own agendas, and athletic associations need to enforce parental and coaching codes of conduct through classes and training. As a result, the world of youth sports can be returned to the children where they can all learn to enjoy a sport, learn the skills of a sport, play, and most of all, have fun.

From “Curbing Parental Sports Rage,” the sample persuasive essay in the KU Handbook for Writers, p. 159.

Another sample Another sample introductionintroductionEnergy prices are rising, oil reserves are running

dry and coal burning factories are destroying the atmosphere. Without new sources of energy, the pollution vomited from vehicles and factories will be the death of this beautiful planet. Oil and coal were the resources of the industrial revolution, but now they are the source of the world’s economic and ecological problems. Therefore, nations need to develop and implement new forms of energy production such as solar collector technology, bio-fuel innovations, and self-contained nuclear reactors.

Note: thanks to Jim Edwards for allowing me to use excerpts from his CM 107 essay

Another sample Another sample conclusionconclusionSolar collecting films, algae ponds and

dangerous bacteria along with smaller, safer nuclear reactors have brought new life to the eco-fuels debate. Homes and businesses can generate their own electricity, waste ponds and garbage eating bacteria can power all vehicles, and developing countries and rural communities can stop paying fees to large electric companies, not only generating their own power but new revenue as well. Fossil fuels can stay fossils and these are the methods to make sure they do.

TransitionsTransitionsAct as bridges between ideas in your

paper and clarify the relationship between ideas (do they show Contrast? Comparison? Example?)

Make paragraphs flow more smoothlyConnect concepts within and between

paragraphsCan be a simple word or phrase

(linking words) or more elaborate (echo transition)

Linking wordsLinking wordsTime (before, now, in the past),Example (for example, specifically),Sequence (first, then) Results (consequently, therefore),Concessions (although, of course),Comparison (likewise), Contrast (yet, but, nonetheless), Emphasis (furthermore, however, on the

other hand), Conclusion (in conclusion, therefore) You can find a list of the various types of linking words in the

handbook on pp. 50-51

Echo transitionsEcho transitionsLast sentence of paragraph: Mid-nineteenth-century

women writers often saw their art as a means of expanding their sphere of influence, and this belief in the moral and political efficacy of their art perhaps lessened the tension between their duties as women and their impulses as artists.

Beginning of next paragraph: Harriet Beecher Stowe good-naturedly depicts this conflict between women’s roles and authorship in a letter to her sister. . . [echo transition: “this conflict between women’s roles and authorship” restates “the tension between their duties. . .” in the previous paragraph]

Contrast transitionContrast transition Last sentence of paragraph: Whatever the reasoning

behind this interpretation of nineteenth-century women writers’ motives, such negative characterizations probably led to the more sympathetic studies by Jane Tompkins and Susan K. Harris herself, for both critics praise these texts for their attempts to “undermine male hegemony” for the sake of bettering their culture, not destroying it (Harris, 1990, p. 6).

First sentence of next paragraph: Ann Douglas, on the other hand, argues that women’s literature of the mid-nineteenth century presaged an increasing “feminization” of American culture (1978).