Coaching through Emotional Intelligence

Identifying Self Emotions

Pre Work

What is Emotional Intelligence?

Emotional Intelligence is using thinking about feeling (and feeling about thinking) to guide our behavior

Case Study

Case Study I

Intrapersonal Intelligence Interpersonal Intelligence

Can you improve Emotional Intelligence (EI)?

o EI is not one single thing, but is made up of a mixture of attitudes, feelings and thoughts and the actions that result from them

o EI predicts performance

o EI can be measured

o EI can be changed

o Developing your EI will impact on all areas of your life

KASH Model

How do we change a habit?

COACHING

• “You cannot teach a man anything. You can only help him discover it within himself.” Galileo Galilei

Activity

Activity 02

What is Coaching?

• Coaching is one of the most powerful ways of communicating

• When used effectively and appropriately it raises your awareness

• It is about moving forward and helping people improve their individual performance

• It is about being a catalyst for positive change in a way that’s appropriate for individuals

What Coaching “IS NOT”?

• Coaching is not a remedy for everything!

• Coaching is not telling someone what to do;

• It is not the same as mentoring, counselling, training or consultancy.

• Coaching is hugely powerful when it is delivered by competent, emotionally intelligent coaches in the appropriate circumstances.

The Confusion

While there are similarities with other interventions such as mentoring, counselling and consultancy, there are also key differences. Let’s imagine you are going to bake a cake and you want some input from another person. How might a coach, mentor, counsellor, consultant or trainer help you?

•A coach would ask you questions about what end result you want and check if you had everything you needed, what other equipment/ingredients you might need, and check with you that it matched your priorities.

•A mentor would share his or her recipe with you and his or her experience of how he or she does it.

•A counsellor would explore any anxieties you had about baking the cake.

•A consultant would evaluate the situation, provide three or four recipe options and discuss which was appropriate for you.

•A trainer would demonstrate how it was done, give you the equipment and ingredients you need, and observe while you were baking it, sharing feedback when needed.

Activity

Acitivity 03

Common Coaching Myths

*A recent survey by the Chartered Institute of Personnel and Development (CIPD)

Effective Coach

• An EI coach has highly developed regard for self and others, high levels of self- and other-awareness, combined with the required skills and knowledge to be an effective coach.

• Possessing a high regard for others will mean than a coach’s intentions are coachee-focused and positive.

• Self-awareness is essential to prevent coaches from allowing their own values, attitudes and emotions to make subjective judgements of their coaches

• Being highly aware of others will provide a coach with essential emotional cues

• Inviting trust is essential when building an open, effective coaching relationship

• ‘I’m ok as long as I help others’ and ‘I’m ok as long as I control others’ are common attitudes that lead to ineffective coaching and management

Situations where EI Coaching can make a difference

• Performance review and appraisals

• Improve sales

• Change process

• Mergers and acquisitions

• Redundancy

• Motivation

• Creativity

• Downturn in the economy

• Recruitment and retention of staff

• Overall leadership style

STROKES

Strokes

• Psychologists refer to units of feedback from others as ‘strokes’

• Strokes may be verbal (‘I love working with you’) or non-verbal (a warm smile when someone you like enters the room)

Negative Unconditional

A criticism of who you are as a person

eg ‘You are stupid’

Positive Conditional

Positive feedback on your actions

eg ‘Your report was excellentbecause . . .’

Negative Conditional

Negative feedback on your actions

eg ‘Your presentation would havebeen better if . . .’

Positive Unconditional

Positive feedback on who you are as a person

eg ‘I love your energy andenthusiasm’

EI Coach Model

• E = Emotions (How are you feeling?)

• I = Intelligence (What do you want to talk about and achieve today?)

• C = Current (What’s going on for you right now?)

• O = Opportunities (What possibilities are available to you?)

• A = Actions (What are you going to do?)

• C = Change measure (What difference will this make? How will you know you’re there?)

• H = How are you feeling now? (Emotional barometer)

Before you coach…• What are the reasons for the coaching?• What are the coachees’ attitudes towards coaching?• How does the coachee feel about coaching?• Has the coachee done any coaching before? If so, what was the experience like for

him or her?• Have the coach and coachee established a good rapport? • How committed is the coachee to coaching?• What are the reporting and confidentiality boundaries and are these clearly

understood by the coach and the coachee?• How often will the coaching be and how long will each session be?• Has the coachee allocated the time for coaching, both the actual sessions and the

actions that come from the sessions?• What is the contracted time for the coaching?• What are the overall goals for the coaching? Are there specific performance-related

goals and what are they?• How will the impact of the coaching be measured? • How and when will the coaching be reviewed?• How will the coachee know that the coaching has been successful in achieving the

goals set?

References