cohesion & coherence - bicycles create change · it a unified whole. connectedness is divided...
TRANSCRIPT
Cohesion&CoherenceAKAHACKA&GUPSAWRITINGWORKSHOP
Activity#1
Whataspectofwritingoryourresearchis
mostdifficultatthemoment?
Whatotheraspectsof
writingorPGresearch would
youlikeworkshopson
Whatdo youthink coherence&cohesionis?
How areyoufeelingright
now?
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WhoamI?§TrainedLinguist◦ FunctionalGrammar◦ Australianculture,slang&swearing
§Teacher/UniversityTutor&Lecturer◦ 15yearsteachingInternational&Localstudents(Australiaandoverseas)◦ Academiclanguage,skillsandcommunicationtutorials,workshops&consultations
§BusinessConsultant:WarralMaSolutions◦ AKA/HACKA– Successful&ProductiveAcademicLanguage&communicationSkill◦ BIZBOOST– Proactive&ProfitableBusinessDevelopment&Communication
§ PhDCandidate- SchoolofEducation&ProfessionalStudies(GriffithUni)
§Blog:BicyclesCreateChange.com
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TodaysWorkshop
•Guidelines– not‘rules’
•Concept,Examples&Practice
•Uptoyoutoexperiment&apply
•Focusisonprovidingclear
strategiesforimmediateuse
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Activity#2
Choose1topicbelowtowritetwo (sixsentence)paragraphs
Leaveablanklinebetweeneachsentence
Goodstudyhabitsforstudents
Anoverviewofyourresearchproject
Amajorglobalsocialissue
Yourownacademictopic
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Whyareweheretoday?Learning inhighereducationinvolvesadaptingtonewwaysofknowing:newwaysofunderstanding,interpretingandorganisingknowledge
(Lea&Street1998)
Connectedness referstotheexplicitandimplicitlinksinatextthatmakeitaunifiedwhole.Connectednessisdividedintocohesionandcoherence.Cohesionreferstoexplicitlinksandcoherencereferstoimplicitlinks.
(WatsonTodd,Khongput&Darasawang,2007)
Thegreaterthedistancebetweencohesiveties,themoredifficultitisforthereader.
(Coupland1984)
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Somanycohesivetechniques!Collocations
Synonyms
Repetition
Superordinate
GeneralTerm
Hypernyms
Ellipsis
Paragraphing
Substitution
Enumeration
Numeratives
Conjunctions
Punctuation
Parallelism
Antonyms
AdditivesConnectives
AdversativeConnectives
CasualConnectives
TemporalConnectives
ContinuativeConnectives
General– Specific
Opposition
Formal- Neutral
Connotation-Denotation
LexicalCohesion
Coordinatingconjunctions
PronominalReference
DemonstrativeReference
DefiniteArticleReference
ComparativeReference
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Whatiscohesion&coherence?
COHESION
Explicitlinks
Words&Grammar
‘Bricks’
COHERENCE
Implicitlinks
Structure&Flow
‘Walls’
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ACADEMICPROSE
Clear&logical
Bestwritingever!
‘House’
SkillsfortodayCohesion(5MajorCategories– 19Subsets)1. Ellipsis2. Substitution3. Conjunctions4. References5. LexicalDevices
Coherence– 2CoherenceSkillso Theme&Rhemeo TEEEL
◦ Getworkshopmaterialandresourcesavailableat:www.bicyclescreatechange.com Resourcepage.
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4 Cohesion Skills:Coordinating ConjunctionsCohesive References ReiterationParallelism
COHESION
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1.CoordinatingconjunctionsCOHESION
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1.CoordinatingConjunctionsConnectwords,phrasesorclausestogether
AlsocalledTransitionsorSignpostingwords/phrases
Cangoatthestart,middleoreventheendofsentences.
Forcompoundsentencestheygointhemiddle◦ FANBOYS(*checkpunctuation*)
Canalsobeatstartofnewsentenceorparagraph - toindicateadirection inthereasoningormovementbetweenideas,butalsotorelatethenewmaterialtotheprecedingthoughts.
*Formoreinfo:EnglishHELPYourselfResources
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1.CoordinatingConjunctions
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Source:Smart_Words.org
EditingpracticeEx1:
Modernstudentsmayoftenhaveheardtheterm‘rhetoric’used.Theyprobablydonothaveaclearideaofwhatitmeans.Theiruncertaintyisunderstandable.Thewordhasacquiredmanymeanings.
Howcouldyouimprovethelogicalconnection?
Ex2:Suggestedanswer
Althoughmodernstudentsmayoftenhaveheardtheterm‘rhetoric’used,theyprobablydonothaveaclearideaofwhatitmeans.Theiruncertaintyisunderstandablebecausethewordhasacquiredmanymeanings.
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1.CoordinatingConjunctions
ExampleText
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25mostusedsubordinatingconjunctions- checkgrammar,punctuationandclausesifused
After
Although
As
Assoonas
Because
Before
Bythetime
Evenif
Eventhough
Everytime
If
Incase
Nowthat
Once
Since
Sothat
Than
Thefirsttime
Unless
Until
When
Whenever
Whetherornot
While
Why
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1.CoordinatingConjunctionsStyle
Because….,And…..,But….,
TIPS
•Havealookatyourparagraph– whatcoordinatingconjunctionshaveyouused?
•Lookforpattersinyourwriting– doyouusethesameconjunctions?
•Lookonline,downloadalistofacademictransitionwords• Academictransitions
•Findsomenewonestouse,orusevariationsorchangelocation(front,middle,startofnewparagraph)
•Willimprovevocab,helpdevelopideasandgeneratenewcontent/analysis
•Checkpunctuationandgrammarwhenusingmoreadvancedconjunctiveclause
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ReferencesCOHESION
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TypesofCohesiveReferencesTypes
1.Pronouns- (I,me,she,youwe,my,mine,etc.)
2.Demonstratives- (this,these,here,that,those,there,etc.)
3.Definitearticle- (the)
4.Comparatives– (another,other,similar,better,etc.)*formoreonthisseeBCCResources– CohesionThroughReference
Placement
1.Exophoric
2.Endophoric◦ Anaphoric◦ Cataphoric
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2.References1.Exophoricreferences– areferencetosomethingthatis‘outsidethetext’.Interpretativesourcesinjournalarticlessuchaspriorknowledgecancauseproblemsforreaders
Forhe’s ajollygoodfellowandsosayallofus.(Whois‘he’?=notintext)
2.Anaphoric – previouslymentionedwords‘pointingbackward’
TheCathedralofStPaul’swasbuiltin1840and itisstillstandingtoday.
(TheCathedralofStPaul’s=it)
3.Cataphoric – Subsequentwords- pointingforward
Whentheyarrived,thefeministsfoundthelackofgenderequalityandaccesstoclassresourceswithintheschooltobetotallyunacceptable.(They=feminists).
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Example- CohesiveReference:types&placement
On21December1972, 6theBasicTreaty wassignedbyEastandWestGermany,andrelationsbetween 7thetwocountries startedtoimprove.Duringthenexttwodecades,theybegantocooperatewith 8eachother bysharingculturalandcommercial 9activities suchasartsexchangeprogramsandjointbusinessventures.However,EastGermanswerestilldissatisfied,for 10their livingstandardwaslowerthan 11that ofWestGermany. 12Their industriesproducedinferiorgoods,and 13theircountry waspollutedfrominferiorminingmethodsandcarelessindustrialwaste.4types&3placements– discusswithanotherwhatyouthink/see.
Source:https://www.ntid.rit.edu/sea/processes/referencewords/practice/phoric30/08/17 NINA GINSBERG
TipsforReferences•Becareful(over)using‘it’‘they’‘thing’‘one’– makesurethereferencelinkisclear.
•Afterusingareferenceonce,agoodideaistowriteuseexplicitreiteration(writekeyword,synonymornear-synonym)inthenextsentencetoremindthereaderwhatthemainidea(and‘it’is).
•Lookatjournalarticlesinyourfield– whatismostused?
•Checkyourwriting- whatcohesionreferencetypeyouusethemost?Wherecanyouvarysomecohesivereferences?
•(NB.Cohesionreferenceisinfluencedbythegenreorpurposeofasection)
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3.ReiterationCOHESION
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Reiteration1,DirectRepetition(approx.equality)
snake-snake ascend- ascend
2.Synonyms(near-repetition)similarmeaningwords
snake– serpent ascend- climb
3.Antonyms(oppositewords)
snake– non-ophidian(not-snakelike) ascend- descend
4.Superordinate- (part/widertaxonomy)
snake– reptile ascend– directionofmovement
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Examples:Reiteration
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Source: https://www.slideshare.net/hassanrouijel/lexical-cohesion
TipsforReiterationDoyouuseantonyms forreiteration?Forexample..
Mostsupermodelsarewell-knownforbeingbeautiful.Womenwhoareaestheticallypleasing,prettyandglamourous aremorelikelytogainemploymentasmodels.Girlsoftenundertakebeautifying treatmentstomaximisegoodlooksforemploymentopportunities.Manyfemalesconsider uglinessandbodydysmorphiatobeabhorrentandusemake-uptocover-upimperfections.Thisapproachisalsotakenbyworld-classmodelswhomanyconsidertolooklikethe’ideal’woman.
•Reiterationhelpswithvocabularybuilding
•Usestrategically– avoid‘overrepeating’
•ThisistheMOSTUSEDcohesiontechnique– whatdoesthismeanforyourwriting?
•Lookatyourwritingandotherjournalarticlesinyourfield– whatisthedifference?
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4.ParallelismCOHESION
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CohesionParallelismVideoBreak!
5MINS
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Parallelism- examplesS1.
Technicalwritingencompassesawidevarietyofliterature,includingpublishedarticles,makingoutlines,topromotionalmaterialandeditingmanuals.
S2.
Technicalwritingencompassesawidevarietyofliterature,includingpublishedarticles,outlines,promotionalmaterialandmanuals.
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Source: https://study.com/academy/lesson/examples-of-parallel-structure-in-technical-writing.html
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S1.TheManagertoldhisemployeesthattheymustbeefficient,thattheymustbeproductiveandthattheymustbethorough.
S2.TheManagertoldhisemployeesthattheymustbeefficient,productiveandthorough.
S3.Whenitcametimetosetuptheobstaclecourseforthebirthdayparty,everyonehelpedout:mybrother,mysister,ourneighborsandmyparents.
S4ThebestathleteatschoolalwaysworehismatchingcoloredNikeshoes,hat,socks,shortsandshirttoeverymeet.
S5aBenefitsofmentoringrelationshipsinclude:sharingclinicalknowledge,developingmentee’sskills,helpingothersandsupportingtheprofession.
S5b Leadersneedtosupportemployees.Helpingemployeescanincludeacknowledginggoodworkdone,providingtimelyandpositivefeedback,recognisingwhenpeoplearehavingdifficultiesandinvitingparticipationindecision-makingprocess.
Parallelism- variations
FamousParallelisms
WinstonChurchill
“...weshallfightonthebeaches,weshallfightonthelandinggrounds,weshallfightinthefieldsandinthestreets,weshallfightinthehills.Weshallneversurrender.”
CharlesDickensAtaleoftwocities
Itwasthebestoftimes,itwastheworstoftimes,itwastheageofwisdom,itwastheageoffoolishness,itwastheepochofbelief,itwastheepochofincredulity,itwastheseasonoflight,itwastheseasonofdarkness,itwasthespringofhope,itwasthewinterofdespair...
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ParallelisminAcademic&BusinessPresentations
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Example: Justifying why your new PG research outcome (APP) is relevant
Check script & PPT – Conferences, Confirmation Seminars, meetings, pitchesSource: https://study.com/academy/lesson/examples-of-parallel-structure-in-technical-writing.html
TipsforParallelism•Parallels– describingsimilarordifferentcharacteristics?
•Checkwordforms,tensesandpassive/activevoice(andpunctuation!)
•Lookforwords"and"and"or."Checkoneachsideofthesewordstoseewhethertheitemsjoinedareparallel.Ifnot,edit.
•Ifyouhaveseveralitemsinalist,puttheminacolumntoseeiftheyareparallel.
•Readthelistoutaloud– applythefrowntest.
•Doyouhearthesamekindsofsounds?Forexample,aseriesof"-ing"wordsforeachitem?Isarhythmbeingrepeated?
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Quickcheck
Doyouhaveparallelisminyourparagraph?
Edit(ina)parallelsentence.
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Strategiestoimprovecohesion1. Selectapieceofwriting(yourwork,textbookorjournalarticle).
2. Chooseaparagraphandunderlineorhighlightallthedifferentformsofcohesionused(reference,connectives,reiterationandparallelstructures).
3. Whichformsarethemostcommon?
4. Chooseacouplethatyouthinkareeffectiveandpracticeusingtheminyourownwriting.
5. Trytouseavarietyofwaystoshowtherelationshipbetweenyourideas.
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COHERENCE
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ThemeandrhemeinacademicwritingWHATISIT?
WhatisThemeandRheme?Themeandrhemeisanextremelyvaluableacademicwritingskillasit:
Isapowerfulcohesivetechnique
Avoidsrepetition
Reducesrelianceonconjunctionsandtransitions
Issophisticated
Clarifiesandshowsgoodstructure
Helpswithvocabulary
Itissoeasytoapply(onceyouknowaboutit!)
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Consider..
TheDuke hasgivenmyauntthatbicycle.
MyAunt wasgiventhatbicyclebytheduke.
Thatbicycle thedukehasgivenmyaunt.
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ThemeandrhemeInformationstructure.
MostsentencesinEnglishhavetwoparts:
atheme(ortopic)and
arheme (orcomment)
The theme iswhatyouarewritingabout- itissharedinformationandithasbeenintroducedtoyourreader.
Therheme iswhatyouaresayingaboutthetheme - itisnewinformation orwhatyouwanttotellyourreader.
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Example1Lookatthefollowingsentence:1.TheM1goesfromBrisbanetoSydney.
1.TheM1 goesfromBrisbanetoSydney.theme rheme
Thetheme insentence1is"theM1".ThereaderhasbeenintroducedtotheM1butdoesnotknowwhereitgoesandthereforeneedstobetold(rheme).
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Example2Lookatthefollowingsentences:2.ThemotorwayfromBrisbanetoSydneyiscalledtheM1.
2.ThemotorwayfromBrisbanetoSydney iscalledtheM1.theme rheme
Insentence2a,thetheme is"themotorwayfromBrisbanetoSydney".ThereaderknowsthereisamotorwayfromBrisbanetoSydney,butdoesnotknowwhatitiscalled(rheme).
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ThemeandrhemeInEnglishthetheme usuallycomesatthebeginningofthesentenceandtherhemeattheend.
Thedecisionaboutwhichpartofthesentencetomakethetheme andwhichparttomaketherheme dependsontheinformationthatneedstobecommunicated.
Thiscanalsodependsonthesentencesthatcomebefore.
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ThemeandrhemeLookatthefollowingsentences:
S1.IwasborninBrisbane.BrisbaneisthelargestcityinQueensland.
S2.IwasborninBrisbane.ThelargestcityinQueenslandisBrisbane.
Whatisthedifference?
Whichsentencepairdoyouthinkisbest?Why?
BothsentencesaregrammaticallycorrectbutinS2,theinformationtobecommunicated, therheme - thelargestcityinQueensland,isatthebeginningofthesentence– thisisnotgoodcohesion!
Example1ispreferredinacademicEnglish.
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OrganisingtextsTherearetwobasicchoicesinorganisinginformationtexts:
1.Therheme ofonesentencebecomesthetheme ofthenextsentence.
2.Thetheme ofonesentenceisthesame asthetheme ofthenextsentence.
Let’sseehowthisworks…
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Structure1Thecompleteelectricalbehaviourofanyvalveortransistorcanbedescribedbystatingtheinterrelationofthecurrentsandthevoltagesbetweenalltheelectrodes.Theserelationshipscanconvenientlybedisplayedgraphically,andthevariouscurvesareknownasthe'characteristics'ofthedevice.Inprinciple,allthecharacteristicsshouldbeavailabletothedesignerproposingtousethedeviceinacircuit.
(Jolly,1972).Electronics,p.61)
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Structure2Anthropologyisthestudyofhumankind,especiallyofHomosapiens,thebiologicalspeciestowhichwehumanbeingsbelong.Itisthestudyofhowourspeciesevolvedfrommoreprimitiveorganisms;itisalsothestudyofhowourspeciesdevelopedamodeofcommunicationknownaslanguageandamodeofsociallifeknownasculture.Itisthestudyofhowcultureevolvedanddiversified.Andfinally,itisthestudyofhowculture,people,andnatureinteractwhereverhumanbeingsarefound.
(Harris,1975),Culture,peoplenature,p.1)
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Practice!Choose1activity1. UsetheThemeandRhemePatternExercisefromtheResourcepage
2. Revisityourparagraph
•Whatpatternscanyousee?
•HowwillyouedityourparagraphforbetterTheme&RhemeCohesion?
3.Discusswithapartner
HowelsecouldThemeandRhemehelpyouinyourresearch?
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TEEELStructurePARAGRAPHUNITY
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TEEEELT– Topicsentence(whatisthemainpointofyourparagraph?◦ TRY:Putmainideaatstartofthesentencebeforethefirstverb◦ TRY:makeitasimplesentence
E– Explain
E- Extend/Elaborate
E– Evaluation/Expound Optional&Vary
E– Evidence
E– Examples
L– Link(howdoesthisrelatetotheactualtopic?)◦ TRY:tokeepC&C,relate‘Linksentence’totopicsentenceAND/ORnextparagraphAND/ORthesisstatement/researchtopic.
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TipsforAcademicParagraphs•Academicparagraphguidelines• Between4-8sentences• Somesaysentencesshouldnotbeover20(25?)words• Varysentencelength&types• Followlongcomplexsentenceswithasimplesentencetogetreader
‘backontrack’• Topicsentences=simplesentencewithmainideaatthestartBEFORE
thefirstverb• Followupreference/evidencesentencewithyourown(noreference)
sentence• Avoidreferencingeverysentenceinaparagraph
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ExampleofTEEELVolcanicactivityoccursaroundthePacificRingofFirebecauseofmanydestructiveplateboundariesarelocatedthere.Itisestimatedthatthisregionhasupto200plateboundariesthatcoulderuptwithdevastatingeffectsatanytime(Southy,2015).AnexampleofoneofthesedestructiveboundariescanbefoundbetweenthecontinentalSouthAmericanplateandtheoceanicPacificplacewhichhasformedtheAndesMountains.Thesevastmountainsmeansthattheoceanicplateisdenserandissubductedunderneaththecontinentalplateandmeltsasitfallsintothehotmantlebelow.Thiscausesmagmatothenrisesupthroughthecontinentalplateandbeeruptedthroughvolcanoesatthesurface.SimilardestructiveboundariesallaroundthePacificRingofFirearethereasonsforsuchhighvolcanicactivityinthearea.
CanyoumapeachTEEELsentencefunction?
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Strategies1.Readyourworkoutaloud
2.StructureMapMatch(Yourmapcomparedtoafriend’smap)
3.Useoutlinetoplanyourwriting– focus,savetime,avoidblocks
4.UseEnglishHELPHelpYourselfResourcesorYouTubevideos
5.3isthemagic(academic)number
6.Knowacademicparagraphsandacademicstyleconventions
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Howdoyourate?Cohesion1. CoordinatingConjunctions2. References3. Reiteration4. Parallelism
Coherenceo Theme&Rhemeo TEEEL
o Othertip/syoupickedup?
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TEEELThemeRheme
Refs OtherCoord.
Conjun.
Reiter. Paral.
Finalthoughts•AtUni,youaremarkedonOUTPUT(writingandpresentationsusually)
•Worksmarter,notharder!Bestrategic– usevarietyandbejudicious
•Avoidoveruseandformulaicstructures– experiment&adapt
Fastwriting– getideasdown(product)
Slowediting– linkwords&sentences(cohesion)
StrategicReviewing– academicstyle&logic(coherence)
•NeedtoknowWHAT (content)youarewriting ANDWHY (function)ANDHOW (skills)youwrite.
•Havefun!
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ThankyouGoodluckediting!
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EnglishHELP Consultations Tues 12-2 pmEmail for private consultations $35 ph.
AdditionalContent
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Consolidate&Review
•Whatcohesionandcoherencefeaturescanyouidentifyinthistext?
•Whatfeaturesarepresent?
•Whatfeaturesaremissing?
• CanyoumaptheTheme&Rhemepattern?
• CanyoumapwhateachTEEEELsentenceis?
Evaluation
•Doyoufindthistext‘easytoread’?
•Whatwouldmakeitmorecohesive?Coherent?
•Whatwouldyouchangetoimprovethistext?
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NB:ToImproveCohesion
ForCohesioninSentenceBeginnings ...PuttheOLD(THEME)FIRST◦ Beginsentenceswithinformationfamiliartothereader◦ Don’tbeginasentencewithnewinformation◦ Don’tbeginasentencewithtechnicalinformation◦ Useopeningstoreferbacktopreviousmaterialorgentlyintroduceanewtopic
ForCohesioninSentenceEndings ...PuttheNEW(RHEME)LAST◦ Endsentenceswithnewinformationreaderscannotanticipate◦ Don’tendasentencewithknowninformation◦ Putthenew,technical,anddifficultinformationattheendofthesentence◦ Usetransitionstoconveytheconnectionsbetweentheideasinyoursentences
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NB:ToImproveCoherence
Coherenceiseasilyestablishedintwoways:1.Topicsofindividualsentencesareclear2.Topicsofparagraphs areclearAparagraphismorethanagroupofsentences.Ifyoucan’tquicklyandsuccinctlysaywhataparagraph’smainpointis,itlackscoherence.Examplepassage:Asareminder,pleasepromptlyreturnthelecturenotesyouborrowed.SlidethenotesundermydoorifIamnotthere.Imaybecomeagitatedifyouarelate,muchlikemyUncleChesterafterseveraleggnogsonChristmasEve.MostChristmasesIlikedtostayupandopenmystockingsaftermidnight.StayinguplatewasexcitingandwouldberepeatedaweeklateratNewYear’s.SowouldUncleChester’sdisgracefulbehavior.Whatisthemainidea???
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Thedifferencebetweenmeaning andform
Tocommunicateaspecificidea,thereareanumberofvocabularyandstructuralchoices– butthesearenotnecessarilythesameas‘meaning’
S1Theproposalappearsattractiveandfeasible;thecostistoohigh,though.
S2Althoughthecostishigh,theproposalisattractiveandfeasible.
S3Althoughthecostishigh,theproposalisconsideredattractiveandfeasible.Fornon-nativespeakers,thefollowingthreesentencemeaningandfrommight‘seem’synonymous
(NBThestructuraldifferencesbetweenS1andS2representdifferentattitudesofawriter.S2 canbeinterpretedasfavorableattitudetowardstheproposal.S1 isamorereservedattitude.Lexicalchoicebetween‘is’S2 showscommitmentand‘isconsidered’S3 indicatesthewritersdetachment(othersconsiderittobe,butnotthewriter).
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Quick,InformalParallelExamples
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Source: http://plato.algonquincollege.com/applications/guideToGrammar/?page_id=4213
ReferencesCoupland,J.(1984).Writingtexts:cohesioninscientificandtechnicalwriting. CommonGround:SharedInterestinESPandCommunicationStudies.EditedbyWilliamsetal.,ELTDocument, 117,55-61.Lea,M.R.,&Street,B.V.(1998).Studentwritinginhighereducation:Anacademicliteraciesapproach. StudiesinHigherEducation, 23(2),157-172.doi:10.1080/03075079812331380364Kuo,C.(1995).Cohesionandcoherenceinacademicwriting:Fromlexicalchoicetoorganization. RELCJournal, 26(1),47-62.doi:10.1177/003368829502600103WatsonTodd,R.,Khongput,S.,&Darasawang,P.(2007).Coherence,cohesionandcommentsonstudents’academicessays. AssessingWriting, 12(1),10-25.doi:10.1016/j.asw.2007.02.002Tanskanen,S.,&ProQuestEbooks.(2006). Collaboratingtowardscoherence:Lexicalcohesioninenglishdiscourse.Amsterdam;Philadelphia;:JohnBenjaminsPub.Co.
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ContentSources &Resourceshttp://www.uefap.com/writing/parag/par_flow.htm
https://twp.duke.edu/sites/twp.duke.edu/files/file-attachments/cohesion-coherence.original.pdf
Pintrest:linkingwordforessays
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