Commentary

Get out your notes and a writing utensil.

Standard:

W2: Write informative and explanatory texts to examine ideas, concepts, and information

W4: Produce clear and coherent writing in which the development, organization, and style are appropriate to task, purpose, and audience.

Objective:

1. TSW create commentary using specific vocabulary, development, and cohesiveness.

Do you know how to write a good essay?

One basic way to elevate the quality of your next essay is to stop summarizing and start commentating

It’s easier than you might think…

BellWork

Watch the following clip from the Movie Cloud Atlas.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S7vGnWHUx80

Next, I want you to comment on the quote (written out in the next slide). Say anything you want about the quote in at least two sentences.

"Our lives are not our own. From womb to tomb, we are bound to others. Past and present. And by each crime, and every kindness, we birth our future."

Summary vs. Commentary

Here are the three main differences between summary and commentary:

Summary is a brief account giving the main points of something.

Commentary is a series of explanations and interpretations.

Summary vs. Commentary

Summary is surface. Commentary is deep.

Summary is regurgitation. Commentary is original.

There are many ways to provide commentary, including:

Summary vs. Commentary

Watch this video clip from Shaun of the Dead. Pay attention to what is happening around Shaun.

Summary vs. Commentary In this scene from the 2004 movie Shaun of the Dead,

Shaun (played by Simon Pegg) wakes up and walks to the convenience store to buy a soda and an ice cream. In his condition, he does not notice anything that is going on around him. On his way to the store, he walks by what appears to be zombies roaming the street. There is mayhem all around him. A car window is smashed and the alarm is blaring, a person is running for his life away from zombies, there are bloody handprints on the cooler, and the convenience store clerk is missing. On his way home, Shaun passes even more zombies, including one who he mistakes for a homeless person. When the zombie approaches him, Shaun says, “No, I don’t have any change. I didn’t even have enough for the shop.” He makes it home safely and turns on the TV, ignoring the news reports about the zombie invasion.

Summary vs. Commentary

My summary simply regurgitates what happened, play-by-play.

There’s really no point in reading this summary; instead, you could just watch the scene.

How to Write a Good Essay: Offer an Opinion

First, I’m going to insert an opinion into my summary. To make it easier for you to follow, I’ll highlight my opinion in blue. In this clever and satirical scene from the 2004

movie Shaun of the Dead, Shaun (played by Simon Pegg) wakes up and walks to the convenience store to buy a soda and an ice cream.

Next, insert an interpretation

In his condition, he does not notice anything that is going on around him. This provides insight on how Shaun, like many of us, lives his day-to-day life, almost as a zombie himself, just going through the motions without noticing the world in which he lives.

Next, insert some insight.

On his way to the store, he walks by what appears to be zombies roaming the street. There is mayhem all around him, but this mayhem isn’t a far cry from Shaun’s daily reality. A car window is smashed and the alarm is blaring. Today it is from a zombie, but on a normal day, a regular thief could have smashed it. A person is running for his life away from zombies, but on a normal day, it could be a person running to catch the bus.

Next, insert personal reaction:

There are bloody handprints on the cooler, and the convenience store clerk is missing, which, along with the creepy music soundtrack, gives a sense of impending doom as the viewer watches Shaun obliviously bumble along.

NOTE: THIS PERSONAL REACTION IS STATED AS A FACT.

Finally, insert evaluation and a little more opinion and insight. On his way home, Shaun passes even more

zombies, including one who he mistakes for a homeless person. When the zombie approaches him, Shaun says, “No, I don’t have any change. I didn’t even have enough for the shop.” Incidents like these make this film the perfect satirical comedy about what it means to be alive in the 21st century. This is emphasized again when Shaun makes it home safely and turns on the TV, ignoring the news reports about the zombies. This brilliant satire points to the sad fact that a typical person’s life is already so horrible that a zombie apocalypse wouldn’t even mark a change for the worse.

The commentary as a wholeIn this clever and satirical scene from the 2004 movie Shaun of the Dead,

Shaun (played by Simon Pegg) wakes up with a hangover and walks to the convenience store to buy a soda and an ice cream.

In his hungover condition, he does not notice anything that is going on around him. This provides insight on how Shaun, like many of us, lives his day-to-day life, almost as a zombie himself, just going through the motions without noticing the world in which he lives.

On his way to the store, he walks by what appears to be zombies roaming the street. There is mayhem all around him, but this mayhem isn’t a far cry from Shaun’s daily reality. A car window is smashed and the alarm is blaring. Today it is from a zombie, but on a normal day, a regular thief could have smashed it. A person is running for his life away from zombies, but on a normal day, it could be a person running to catch the bus.

There are bloody handprints on the cooler, and the convenience store clerk is missing, which, along with the creepy music soundtrack, gives a sense of impending doom as the viewer watches Shaun obliviously bumble along.

On his way home, Shaun passes even more zombies, including one who he mistakes for a homeless person. When the zombie approaches him, Shaun says, “No, I don’t have any change. I didn’t even have enough for the shop.” Incidents like these make this film the perfect satirical comedy about what it means to be alive in the 21st century. This is emphasized again when Shaun makes it home safely and turns on the TV, ignoring the news reports about the zombies. This brilliant satire points to the sad fact that a typical person’s life is already so horrible that a zombie apocalypse wouldn’t even mark a change for the worse.

Questions to help yourself if you get stuck with commentary on a quote:

What does this quote mean? (Explanation) How does this quote add to the point of my

paragraph/ thesis statement? (Connection) What is my opinion about the author’s point in this

quote? Remember to state your opinion as FACT! (Personal Reaction)

What is the value of this quote to the stimulus and to my argument? (Judgment)

What does this quote saying below the surface meaning? Is there satire, irony, symbolism, an overarching theme? (Insight)

You’re turn! Individual Re-read Pg. 323-325 from “The Devil and Tom

Walker.”

First: write a short 5-7 sentence summary using 1 direct quote.

Second: supplement your summary and quote with COMMENTARY. Utilize the techniques we’ve covered today.

Third: Label the kind of commentary you use. End Product: a final paragraph at least a half a page

long that is labeled.

Group Work!

Get in your thesis statement pairs from Tuesday.

Share your commentary with each other. You are in charge of quality control for your

partner’s commentary! HELP THEM!!! Keep it academic.

Review:

Why is commentary important to your essay? What are the 5 kinds of commentary that we

learned about today? Can you define them?

Exit Card

List one thing that you feel confident about in your writing that we’ve covered in the last few days.

List one thing that you still need help understanding.

Write your name on the card. Hand it to me on your way out the door.