Running head: MY PERSONAL JOURNEY1

8MY PERSONAL JOURNEY

My Personal Journey in Redefining Privilege, Oppression, Social Justice and Myself

Leah PasquesiLoyola University Chicago

This semester has been a journey of intense personal reflection and growth. If not for this course and the coinciding personal obstacles I experienced, I am uncertain as to whether I would have experienced such meaningful and impactful growth. As noted in my Personal Identity Exploration reflection, while I have engaged in dialogues surrounding privilege, oppression and social justice prior this program, having also spent the past two years working as a college access advisor, doing what I believed was important work in creating change and living out a social justice mission; my journey in understanding and grappling with these concepts is life long and in some ways has just begun. This semester has taught me that constant personal development is central to becoming a better person, professional and social justice advocate.PrivilegePrivilege is a set of unearned advantages individuals of certain groups experience because of the social groups they belong to (Peggy McIntosh as cited in Johnson, 2006). Privilege is being socialized and living in a world that values your social identity over others and grants you access to better opportunities and treatment because of your agent identity. Part of having privilege is being able to go through life without having to acknowledge the unearned benefits one receives. In relation to this class, privilege means being able to leave class, no longer having to think about the ism related to ones privileged identity. The biggest thing I have taken from exploring the concept of privilege this semester is challenging myself to own and explore my agent identities and also challenge myself to consider how my identities intersect. Because part of having privilege is not having to acknowledge the ways in which agent identities benefit us in countless ways, for that reason alone it is crucial to explore these identities to avoid being blinded by privilege. This semester has challenged me to view my other identities, both agent and target, as they intersect with my White identity. I have come to realize how ominous and pervasive White privilege is in our society. In reflecting on my participation in the sexism dialogue, for instance, I recognize now that I was speaking solely from my identity as a woman, failing to consider how my cisgender, temporarily able-bodied, middle income, and White identities impact my experiences as a woman in our society. In reframing things in such a way, I am able to reflect on my previous professional experience as I prepare for my future career in student or academic affairs. Lee (2011) described the resentment her working class mother felt toward her when she went to college. Her mothers resentment was fueled by fear that she would become like many privileged young professionals in public interest fields who claim to understand the experience of being oppressed by virtue of their education and rely on the authority of their education to silence and ignore the actually experiences of oppressed people (Lee, 2011, p. 87). While I believe the work I did to assist East Aurora students in accessing higher education was valuable work, I had entered that space blinded by my privileges, thinking I had the power to create change in students lives, never acknowledging fully how my agent identities of being White, middle-class, and a second generation college student impacted the work I did and the way I was perceived. Similarly, Dr. Bridget Turner Kellys challenge to the class after the heterosexism dialogue to think in terms of our own identity, reminding heterosexual students that heterosexism encompasses our identity, was another crucial moment in reminding me to always frame and acknowledge things in terms of my own identities. In my Personal Identity Exploration Assessment, I noted some of my least salient identities, wanting to challenge myself to explore these further. It is interesting when reflecting upon my identity exploration that I did not reference my cisgender identity at all, perhaps because I was blinded by my cisgender privilege, feeling no personal connection to cissexism as I framed this topic as a trans* issue. In not acknowledging and exploring our privileged identities and the ways in which having privilege means others are oppressed, as discussed by Carbado (2005), those of us who fail to acknowledge our victimless status with respect to racism, sexism, and homophobia are also perpetrators of discrimination (p. 393). This reading struck me as it challenges us to not only acknowledge our privileges, but to consider the fact that if we are enjoying some degree of privilege that makes us all perpetrators of discrimination, and that it is what we decide to do with our privilege that is crucial. When we look at things from this lens I am reminded that negative attitudes and biases toward targeted identities requires privilege and therefore our agent identities must be critically explored (Carbado, 2005, p. 394). Such critical examination of privilege is how I now approach my agent identities. Critical acquiescence, or being aware of and acknowledging privilege is crucial; however, as Carbado (2005) challenged, resistance is also needed. This is where my work around privilege needs to continue; by examining the ways I can resist my unearned privileges. OppressionAs illustrated in my photo elicitation project, the images I use for both privilege and oppression demonstrate both concepts simultaneously as one groups privilege is often at the expense of another group. Johnson (2006) articulated this notion: for every social category that is privileged, one or more other categories are oppressed in relation to it (p. 20). Youngs (1990) definition of oppression particularly resonates with me as it begins to tackle the more subtle, less overt ways oppression can occur in todays society; oppression designates the disadvantage and injustice some people suffer not because of tyrannical power coerces them, but because of the everyday practices of well-intentioned liberal society (p. 35). It is important to acknowledge the less overt ways oppression exists in our society as demonstrated in jokes that are told or language that is spoken. Cahill (2011) grappled with the notion of the more things change, the more they stay the same (p. 7). I believe in many ways this is true. When we view the progress that has been made in society without considering and acknowledging the ways in which oppression continues to occur, we are then accepting and perpetuating systems of oppression.As Johnson (2006) argued, in order to be oppressed, it is necessary for an individual to belong to an oppressed social category. This notion of oppression particularly resonated with me during the racism dialogue when participants discussed whether or not people of color could be racist. As discussed by Tatum (1997) racism cannot be fully explained as an expression of prejudice alone (p. 67). All people can hold prejudices against others, but racial prejudice, combined with social power access to social, cultural, and economic resources and decision-making leads to the institutionalization of racist policies and practices (p. 68). The belief that people of color can be racist or that there is such a thing as reverse discrimination denies that systems of oppression exist. In exploring the concept of oppression this semester, I was challenged to understand how systems of oppression hurt everyone, including those with agent identities. This particularly resonated with me during the Fishbowl 2.0 activity when participants within the inside circle, whose primary interaction with society is as men, talked in detail regarding the ways men are limited by sexism. Because identity as a woman is most salient to me, I recognize now how I have entered previous sexism dialogues with the belief that because men do not experience sexism, they do not have as to contribute, which is an inherently flawed way to approach a dialogue as perspective-taking is key to any dialogue space. Similarly, Dr. Turner Kellys challenge to our class in thinking of who is learning from who was significant in helping me to explore the concept of oppression in a distinct way. It is crucial that we approach these discussions or concepts from own identity, rather than looking to those with target identities to be the teachers or the experts. In reflecting on the systems of oppression that exist in our society and the ways in which they limit certain groups of individuals, we must acknowledge that we all have direct experience with these systems. Therefore, in understanding the concept of oppression as it relates to all of our identities, we must understand how both our agent and target identities connect to systems of oppression. The feedback we received on our dialogue paper helped me to understand this. Patrick and I were reminded that while there is a lack of support of trans* and intersex students in higher education, equally important in working toward eliminating the oppression of trans* and intersex students is engaging cisgender students and staff in understanding their privilege in order to encourage changes in attitudes and behaviors. Social JusticeSocial justice means working to eliminate the systems of oppression that benefit certain groups of individuals while targeting others, in order to provide equitable access to resources and fair treatment. As defined by Bell (2007), the goal of social justice is full and equal participation of all groups in a society that is mutually shaped to meet their needs (p. 21). As mentioned in part II of my photo elicitation project, I believe that part of the process of working toward social justice is acknowledging and celebrating individuals differences while recognizing that all social identities are of similar value. In actively working towards social justice, one must be comfortable acknowledging their roles in systems of oppression. The act of consciously dismantling and building aspects of ourselves and our worldviews (Harro, 2008, p. 54) is something we all need to be responsible for in order to authentically work toward social justice. In the classism dialogue, I was speaking from a place of guilt, questioning whether I had approached my previous position as a college access advisor in an authentic way, given my White, middle income, second-generation college student status. In still questioning whether or not I had approached my previous work in the way Lees (2011) mother criticized privileged young professional in public interest fields, I made a comment that if we are not the ones being oppressed then we are the oppressor. Dr. Turner Kelly challenged this thought by mentioning that there is a third group of individuals who are moving up the down escalator. At the time, I was grappling with the unearned privileges I experience as a result of being White and middle class and how these privileges may have shown up in my work. I needed to work through reshaping my worldview and building upon myself as a result of this experience before I could consider myself as someone moving up the down escalator.Similarly, incorporating Harros (2008) entire cycle of liberation is helpful for me in understanding the concept of social justice. According to Harro (2008), the cycle of liberation is the process we can go through to achieve critical transformation, or as I understand it, to seek social justice. This is helpful in providing clear steps in working to create change and equality and justice for all people (Harro, 2008, p. 57). Therefore in working toward social justice, one may work through the different stages of waking up, reading, reaching out, building community, coalescing, creating change and maintaining such change (Harro, 2008). Blumenfeld s (2006) discussion of tolerance and acceptance is useful to incorporate into my understanding of social justice. While these terms relate to inclusion and other such concepts, as Blumenfeld (2006) clarified, often masked in tolerance are concealed feelings of hatred or fear and in acceptance is the assumption that something needs to be accepted. Distinguishing these concepts from the process of achieving social justice is important as social justice is not learning how to be in existence with others, but rather how can we seek mutual understanding and acknowledgement of differences while seeking to alter systems that privilege certain groups and oppress others. Significance for FutureAs Vijay Pendakur highlighted during his lecture in class, we must commit to a life long process of self-work. We must understand our triggers and how they connect to our lived experiences while understanding how our identities influence the way in which we view the world. I believe that on going self-work is at the core of exploring and understanding privilege, oppression and social justice. If we cannot work to define privilege and oppression as they relate to our own identities and experiences, it can be difficult to commit to social justice. I believe this semester was incredibly impactful for me because of the immense amount of self-work I did. In addition to reflecting on my identities in new and more critical ways in and outside of the classroom, with others and on my own, some of the personal obstacles I encountered have also required me to reflect and evaluate myself as well as the ways I approach various situations and relationships. Having gone through an intense break-up, starting therapy, coming to terms with my anxiety, acknowledging the internalization of my fathers disease while watching my fathers health decline have all impacted my social justice journey this semester. Beyond the ways I now grapple with these concepts and how they inform my practice and worldview, I have learned other valuable lessons that I will take with me going forward. Being brave and vulnerable is crucial to personal growth as well as growth in relationships, something I would like to continue to be in order to have meaningful relationships with others. I intend to frame discussions as well as potential conflicts by acknowledging the distinction between a persons intent versus their impact. Rather than making assumptions and allowing myself to internalize something a colleague or friend says, I will ask clarifying questions to refrain from making assumptions.I have learned the value of framing discussions and entering spaces aware of all of my identities, acknowledging the way others may perceive me, how I have internalized things, and the way my dominant lens impacts how I see the world. I have learned the value of always knowing and working to get to know myself at every stage in life. Ultimately, I have learned the value of discovering and maintaining my authentic self as it relates to the concepts of social justice, privilege and oppression and life in general. All of which are incredible life lessons to learn.

References

Bell, L.A. (2007). Theoretical foundations. In M. Adams, W.J. Blumenfeld, C. Castaeda, H.W. Hackman, M.L. Peters, & x. Ziga (Eds.), Readings for Diversity and Social Justice (2nd edition, pp. 21-26). New York: Routledge.

Blumenfeld, W.J. (1992). How homophobia hurts everyone. In M. Adams, W.J. Blumenfeld, C. Castaeda, H.W. Hackman, M.L. Peters, & x. Ziga (Eds.), Readings for Diversity and Social Justice (2nd edition, pp. 367-385). New York: Routledge.

Cahill, L.S. (2003). On being a catholic feminist. Santa Clara Lecutre, Santa Clara University.

Carbado, D.W. (2005). Privilege. In M. Adams, W.J. Blumenfeld, C. Castaeda, H.W.Hackman, M.L. Peters, & x. Ziga (Eds.), Readings for Diversity and Social Justice (2nd edition, pp. 393-399). New York: Routledge.

Harro, B. (2008) The cycle of liberation. In M. Adams, W.J. Blumenfeld, C. Castaeda, H.W. Hackman, M.L. Peters, & x. Ziga (Eds.), Readings for Diversity and Social Justice (2nd edition, pp. 52-58). New York: Routledge.

Johnson, A.G. (2006). Privilege, power, and difference (2nd ed). Boston: McGraw Hill.

Johnson, A.G. (2006). The social construction of difference. In M. Adams, W.J. Blumenfeld, C. Castaeda, H.W. Hackman, M.L. Peters, & x. Ziga (Eds.), Readings for Diversity and Social Justice (2nd edition, pp. 15-20). New York: Routledge.

Lee, M.E. (2011). Maybe Im not class-mobile, maybe I am class-queer: Poor kids in college and survival under hierarchy. Http://www.policyalternatives.ca/sites/default/files/uploads/publications/National%20Office/2011/02/Maybe%20Im%20not%20classmobile.pdf.(pp. 85-92).

Tatum B.D. (2010). Can we talk? In M. Adams, W.J. Blumenfeld, C. Castaeda, H.W.Hackman, M.L. Peters, & x. Ziga (Eds.), Readings for Diversity and Social Justice (2nd edition, pp. 67-69). New York: Routledge.

Young, I.M. (1990) The cycle of liberation. In M. Adams, W.J. Blumenfeld, C. Castaeda, H.W. Hackman, M.L. Peters, & x. Ziga (Eds.), Readings for Diversity and Social Justice (2nd edition, pp. 35-45). New York: Routledge.