comparison of the seven sites

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Comparison of the seven sites – notes for Task A and feedback in part 3 of the lesson. Title of site 1. Main mistakes of grammar and spelling. 2. English appropriacy. 3. Effect on customer. 4. Causes of problems Abbey bookeeping services Blueberries Bookkeeping spelled wrongly in site name and name of service. Missing apostrophes on years, redundant apostrophes on P45’s. Comparative comparative “more simpler”. Incomplete sentence starting with which. US English (spellchecker) – staffs. Guide lines as two words. Pronoun reference – take them in our stride (people or tax returns?). Careless punctuation e.g. no ‘ ‘ around yes. Overcapitalisation: Office. Formal tone is relatively well maintained but marred by casual idiom “take them in our stride.” Dire. This is an accountancy service where customer expects (and pays for) meticulous accuracy. Any educated person would be put off using a service like this. Name of service has connotational links to Abbey National – they should be protesting too! Writer of site copy has poor written English. Probably written by one person as mistakes are consistent. Site may have been built by consultant, in which case firm should have proofread copy. A spell and grammar checker would have found many of these issues. Celtic cement and gdgraphics barry Peaches GD graphics: Web site and website – latter is correct. It’s/its classic error. Runon clause sentence. Celtic cement (designed by GD graphics and on their site as an example): Inconsistent use of numbers e.g. 1 and one. Missing comma, crushers, climate change. Wildly overcapitalised e.g. words that ‘look’ important like Replacements. Tone is appropriate but annoying rhetorical question in bold. This is a website designed to give an impession, a good one. These apparently small errors and stylistic irritations add up to off putting annoyance and detract from the argument. Poor proofreading at approval stage. Most of these errors would not be detected by a spellchecker, unfortunately, so human knowledge required. Jeff Lewis design portfolio strawberries Webiste (from a website designer). Text under poster and web needs bullets or rewrite, just garble. About page several errors e.g. for mentioned not aforementioned. I recognises, I specialises – patois? Chatty tone is ‘writing as speaking’ – needs higher level of formality. It’s the client’s responsibility to provide correct copy, but what if the designer can’t produce his own correct copy??? Selfdesigned site – needed proofreader.

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Self-­‐designed   site   –   needed   proof-­‐reader.   It’s   the   client’s   responsibility   to   provide   correct   copy,   but   what   if   the   designer   can’t   produce   his   own   correct   copy???    

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Comparison  of  the  seven  sites  –  notes  for  Task  A  and  feedback  in  part  3  of  the  lesson.  Title  of  site   1.  Main  mistakes  of  grammar  and  spelling.   2.    English  appropriacy.   3.  Effect  on  customer.   4.  Causes  of  problems  Abbey    bookeeping  services    Blueberries  

Bookkeeping  spelled  wrongly  in  site  name  and  name  of  service.  Missing  apostrophes  on  years,  redundant  apostrophes  on  P45’s.  Comparative  comparative  “more  simpler”.  Incomplete  sentence  starting  with  which.  US  English  (spellchecker)  –  staffs.  Guide  lines  as  two  words.  Pronoun  reference  –  take  them  in  our  stride  (people  or  tax  returns?).  Careless  punctuation  e.g.  no  ‘  ‘  around  yes.  Over-­‐capitalisation:    Office.  

Formal  tone  is  relatively  well  maintained  but  marred  by  casual  idiom  “take  them  in  our  stride.”  

Dire.    This  is  an  accountancy  service  where  customer  expects  (and  pays  for)  meticulous  accuracy.    Any  educated  person  would  be  put  off  using  a  service  like  this.        Name  of  service  has  connotational  links  to  Abbey  National  –  they  should  be  protesting  too!      

Writer  of  site  copy  has  poor  written  English.    Probably  written  by  one  person  as  mistakes  are  consistent.    Site  may  have  been  built  by  consultant,  in  which  case  firm  should  have  proof-­‐read  copy.    A  spell  and  grammar  checker  would  have  found  many  of  these  issues.  

Celtic  cement  and  gd-­‐graphics  barry  

 Peaches  

GD  graphics:  Web  site  and  website  –  latter  is  correct.  It’s/its  classic  error.    Run-­‐on  clause  sentence.  Celtic  cement  (designed  by  GD  graphics  and  on  their  site  as  an  example):  Inconsistent  use  of  numbers  e.g.  1  and  one.  Missing  comma,  crushers,  climate  change.  Wildly  overcapitalised  e.g.  words  that  ‘look’  important  like  Replacements.  

Tone  is  appropriate  but  annoying  rhetorical  question  in  bold.  

This  is  a  website  designed  to  give  an  impession,  a  good  one.    These  apparently  small  errors  and  stylistic  irritations  add  up  to  off-­‐putting  annoyance  and  detract  from  the  argument.  

Poor  proof-­‐reading  at  approval  stage.    Most  of  these  errors  would  not  be  detected  by  a  spellchecker,  unfortunately,  so  human  knowledge  required.    

Jeff  Lewis  design  portfolio    strawberries  

Webiste  (from  a  website  designer).    Text  under  poster  and  web  needs  bullets  or  rewrite,  just  garble.  About  page  several  errors  e.g.  for  mentioned  not  aforementioned.    I  recognises,  I  specialises  –  patois?  

Chatty  tone  is  ‘writing  as  speaking’  –  needs  higher  level  of  formality.  

It’s  the  client’s  responsibility  to  provide  correct  copy,  but  what  if  the  designer  can’t  produce  his  own  correct  copy???  

Self-­‐designed  site  –  needed  proof-­‐reader.  

 

Bluegg    

Lemons  

“If  want  that  chat  over  a  coffee”.    Who?    You?      Imnprobable  quotes:  “hello  Décor  …  “  Bingo!      Erm,  the  company  name  is  spelled  ‘Dekor’  “They  just  didn’t  realise.”  Realise  what?  Spell  and  grammar  checkers  would  eliminate  few  of  these  errors  –  literate  human  required.  

Style  here  is  worse  than  the  grammar  “It  sounds  like  an  excuse  to  sit  around  drinking  coffee  and  chatting.”    

Another  designer  site  selling  its  wares.    Jokey  English  makes  terrible  impression,  especially  as  errors  pervade  throughout  the  extensive  portfolio  (we  checked  –  look  at  the  Swansea  BID  site)  

Designers  design  own  site  …  but  can’t  write  English  for  toffee.    Mmmh.    Need  to  import  a  writer  or  employ  a  jolly  good  proof-­‐reader.  

PAT  cleaning    Plums  

Spelling  and  grammar  mistakes  virtually  implode  the  page  e.g.  relay=rely,  lay=lie  (several  times  on  the  rolling  strapline  and  repeated  throughout,  also  on  the  publicity  card  Charlotte  found).    One  sentence  is  garble  “We  will  offer  you  to  conduct  a  fre  of  charge  and  obligations  survey  of  your  premises,  creating  a  service  that  is  perfectly  suited  to  your  establishment.”  

Why  US?  Invites  ridicule  using  the  capitals.    Phrases  such  as  “Unlike  many  other  companies”  make  careless,  if  funny  generalisations.  

If  you  can’t  clean  up  your  English,  can  you  clean  up  my  house?  

Sadly  this  site  looks  to  have  been  written  by  a  non-­‐native  speaker  of  English.    No  excuses  though:    the  web  exposes  all.  

Great  barn  Country  Guest  House    Limes  

Over-­‐capitalisation  e.g.  give  =  Five,  beaches,  Antiques.    Yet  a  capital  is  missing  from  Millennium  Stadium.  For  and  many  shops?  Punctuation  almost  non-­‐existent  –  reads  like  a  chain  of  key  words  and  phrases,  not  even  bulleted.  

Hard  to  say  as  there  are  so  few  complete  sentences.      

Impression  is  of  a  non-­‐professional  approach.    Is  your  room  going  to  be  as  untidy  as  this?  

In-­‐house  job    

Cheapcoverz    Oranges  

Chav  number  plate  website  name  –  cheapcoverz.      Overcapitalised  everywhere.  Use  of  ‘like’  instead  of  such  as.  Your    you’re  (twice  on  these  pages  alone).  Missing  full  stops  and  commas.  Bucketload  as  two  words.  A  redundant  ‘and’  

Bombastic  style  does  not  inspire  confidence  in  the  product,  especially  as  they  do  not  practise  anything  they  preach.  

Dire  effect.    Designers    of  book  covers  who  write  like  this?    You  pays  ya  money  and  ya  really  gets  ya  choice    cheap!  

Looks  like  an  in-­‐house  job  written  by  a  geek  and  proof-­‐read  by  nobody.