compassionate social fitness: theory and practice 121.pdf · compassionate social fitness: theory...

© 2012, Lynne Henderson

Compassionate Social Fitness

1

Compassionate Social

Fitness:

Theory and Practice

Lynne Henderson

Shyness Institute

April 14, 2012

Anxiety Disorders Association of America



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Overview Social Fitness Training: Theory and Practice

Stanford/Palo Alto shyness clinic

Compassion Focused Therapy

Adding a compassion focus

For better self-soothing

For shame vulnerable clients

For therapists who do individual Social Fitness Training

Compassionate Social Fitness Training

The case of Jane

BUT! Be prepared……………………………………………….



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Three Vicious Cycles

Approach

Fear

Negative

predictions

Resentment

Anger

Other-blame

Avoidance

Shame

Self-blame



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What is Social Fitness© ?

Social Fitness, like physical fitness, is a state of physiological,

behavioral, emotional, and mental conditioning that implies adaptive functioning and a sense

of well being.



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Social Fitness Training©



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Three Virtuous Cycles

Acceptance

Accept fear

Act through

emotion

Support self

Accept Efforts

Support

Face fear Accept self Accept others

Support others

Accept others’ efforts

Forgiveness



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Compassion Focused Therapy: Gilbert

In order for us to be reassured by a thought (say) ‘I am lovable’ this thought needs to link with the emotional experience of

‘being lovable’.

If the positive affect system for such linkage is not activated

there is little feeling to the thought.

Compassion focused therapy therefore targets the activation of

the soothing system

(with permission, Paul Gilbert)



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Types of Affect Regulator Systems

Incentive/resourc

e- focused

Wanting,pursuing,

achieving

Activating

Non-wanting/

Affiliative focused

Safeness-kindness

Soothing

Threat-focused

Protection and

Safety-seeking

Activating/inhibiting

Anger, anxiety, disgust

Drive, excite, vitality Content, safe,

connected




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Basic Philosophy:CFT

We all just find ourselves here with a brain, emotions and

sense of (socially made) self we did not choose but have to

figure out.

Life involves dealing with tragedies (threats, losses, diseases,

decay, death) and people do the best they can.

Much of what goes on in our minds is not of ‘our design’ and

not our fault.

We are all in the same boat

De-pathologising and de-labelling – understanding unique

coping processes




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The Need for Compassion in Social

Fitness Training

For better self-soothing and emotion regulation

For shame vulnerable clients

For working with individual clients who lack group support

To add direct interventions to build compassion for the self and

others, to help clients view shyness and shame not as

pathology, but as part of human condition

To add to Mindfulness work (MBSR) – Jon Kabat-Zinn

Henderson, L. (2011). Building social confidence using compassion-

focused therapy to overcome shyness and social anxiety.

Oakland, CA: New Harbinger Publications, Inc.



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Three Compassionate Cycles

Acceptance

Accept fear

Act through

emotion

Support self

Self-compassion

Compassion


Support others

Compassion

toward others

Forgiveness



12

Jane

Bright, attractive young woman in mid-twenties, college

graduate, living with parents

Severe APD, socially isolated, TV four hours per day, works at

home, attends community college

Shy in elementary school, SAD in middle school



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Caring-Compassionate Mind

Imagery

Attention Reasoning

Feeling Behaviour

Sensory

Care for

well-being

Sensitivity Sympathy

Distress

tolerance

Empathy Non-Judgement

Compassio

n

ATTRIBUTES

SKILLS -TRAINING Warmth

Warmth

Warmth

Warmth (with permission, Paul Gilbert)



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Compassionate Social

Fitness Behavior and cognition: In session exposures with challenging and

modifying unhelpful thoughts; behavioral homework, non-verbal

communication (SOFTEN; Gabor, 2001)

Mindfulness: Body scan, breath meditation,

Sensory: Building sensory awareness, locating emotions in body

Distress tolerance: Expressing emotions, tolerating discomfort (SUDS

70+)

Attention: Deliberate focusing of attention

Imagery: Safe place, perfect nurturer, compassionate ideal self



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Doing Better; Feeling Worse ShyQ. 1 - 5 M = 4.3 M = 3.5

EOS 1 - 7 M = 5.4 M = 3.6

Most Difficult: Giving Talk Pre Post

SAQ-Self-blame 1 – 9 M = 9.0 M = 9.0

SAQ-Shame 0 – 4 M = 3.2 M = 3.2

Second most difficult: Conversation with one person

SAQ-Self-blame 1 – 9 M = 9.0 M = 5.0

SAQ-Shame 0 – 4 M = 2.4 M = 3.0

Third most difficult: Asking a question in class

SAQ-Self-blame 1 – 9 M = 9.0 M = 5.0

SAQ-Shame 0 – 4 M = 2.4 M = 3.0



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Resistance:

Fear of Compassion Remember: Compassion focused therapy targets the activation

of the soothing system (to gain positive affect) to connect

thoughts with the emotional experience referred to by those

thoughts.

Compassion can be threatening. Clients can be afraid of

compassion toward the self, from others and for others.

Gilbert, P., McEwen, K., Matos, M., & Rivis, A. (2011). Fears of

compassion: Development of three self-report measures.

Psychology and Psychotherapy: Theory, Research and

Practice 84, 239-255.



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Jane: Fear of

Compassion/Self

Expressing kindness, compassion toward self (rated 4; 0-4)

If I really think about being kind and gentle with myself it

makes me sad.

I fear that if I start to feel compassion and warmth for myself, I

will feel overcome with a sense of loss/grief.

I fear that if I become too compassionate to myself I will lose

my self-criticism and my flaws will show.



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Jane: Fear of Compassion/Others

Responding to compassion from others (rated 4; 0-4)

I’m fearful of becoming dependent because they might not always be available or willing to give it.

If people are friendly and kind I worry they will find out something bad about me that will change their mind.

When people are kind and compassionate towards me I feel empty and sad.



19 (with permission, Paul Gilbert)



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Countering Resistance to

Compassion

Acknowledging strengths:

Empathy toward her dog, the abandoned student, neighbor,

her parents (compassionate sacrifice?)

Continuing to build empathy toward her own distress:

Continuing to normalize shame, encourage self-disclosure,

active listening, reflecting emotions, writing exercises (Kristen

Neff)

Two chair exercises:

Protective self and the hopeful, trusting self

Self critical self and compassionate self-correcting self

Critical self and empathic self (to her own and others’ distress)



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Three Compassionate Cycles

Acceptance

Accept fear

Act through

emotion

Support self

Self-compassion

Compassion


Support others

Compassion

toward others

Forgiveness



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Disclaimer and Information

I have no affiliation with any pharmaceutical company and none

of my work has ever been supported by an outside

commercial enterprise.

Director, Shyness Institute

644 Cragmont Ave.,

Berkeley, CA 94708

Cell: (650) 814-9210

Director, Applied Research

Heroic Imagination Project

220 Halleck Street

San Francisco, CA 94129

compassionate social fitness: theory and practice 121.pdf · compassionate social fitness: theory...

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