condensed sermons in capsules - witty bits of wit by w. v. grant, sr

8/2/2019 Condensed Sermons in Capsules - Witty Bits of Wit by W. v. Grant, Sr

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Books b y Rev . W . V . Gran t

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2/18

Book s b y Rev. W . V . Gran tSOc each or all twelve books for $5.00Order from GRANT'S FAITH CLINIC

80" 353. Dallol.Tg"ol Condensed Sermonsin CapsulesA horse cannot pull and kick at the same time, neither canwe.

When we get our hearts turned right side up, we could turnthe world upside down.

Where there isno dips, there can be no heighth.

Where there is no confl ict, there can be no triumph.

Where there is no smile, there can be no tears.

Where there is no rose, there can be no thorn.

If there is no crown, there can be no cross.

The tongue is never worn out by kind words.

Prayer is no short-l ife thing.

Move the letters "D-I-E" from the word "DEPRESSION,"and what you have left is "PR ESS ON."

WI,,:!na Christian isdead, he isstil l ahead.

Forget yourself if you want to find happiness.

Time is too precious to be used if it is not for God's glory.

Suffering isnot bad if it bui lds Christian character.


3/18

What do you miss by being a Christian? You miss hell.

If your children are going down the wrong track, maybe theywere not switched soon enough.

Religion gives you a new start but Christianity gives you anew heart.

Neither you, age or experience can make a drunkard a safedriver.

The greatest fault is when you believe you have none.

All drivers should be wide awake, alert and cautious;especially the one just beh ind the driver in front of you.My books are links between warm hearts and wise minds.

Any merchant who is willing to play ball with you plans tobe the catcher.

Words can travel faster than light.

If you have trouble supporting your family, you have moretrouble if you don't.

. A rainy Sunday makes a house like it has been lived in.

Some people don't want to get their healing until they collecttheir insurance.

2

If you abuse your right to drive, it could cost you the right tolive.

The IRS discriminates against people with incomes.

Samson slew the Philistines with a jaw bone of an ass and alot of men slew themselves with the same weapon.

One yard of performance isworth a mile of promise.

If you want some time to yourself, do the dishes.

If you want to improve a man's hearing, praise him.

A rich man buys a nice home, then he buys a Cadillac to getaway from it.

Putting two and two together and getting three could provethat you are a fisherman.

Lemons shine, but they do not talk.

A lighthouse has no drum.

Let your actions reveal your religion .

Let the sermon of your life be illustrated by your conduct.

Flirting with sin can lead to romance.

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4/18

A man falls into sin but a saint grieves at sin.

The devil boasts of sin.

One man is never contented with his lot until it is a lot more.

The farther you are from the wolf, the closer you are to theshepherd.

Don't hate sin too much to love men.

The good displayed in your window should be just like thoseon the counter.

The man who speaks too quickly says something that he hasnever thought of.

It is what you learn after you know everything that counts.

Fear that isprayed through iscalled courage.

Good nature regulated by good sense is called politeness.

I will not be a drop-out in the schooling God has for me butfinish my course and win a degree.

The I ight of reason is blown out.

If you think that you are going to wait until you can dosomething so well that nobody can find fault with it, it'llnever be done.

4

One man went to church. He never missed a Sunday, but th issame man went to hell for what he did on Monday.

While giving our children the thing that we didn't have, let'snot forget to give them the things that we did have.

God allows us time for the work that He allots us.

A gossiper is a fool with a senseof rumor.

Death is not a period that ends the sentence of life. It is acomma to show there is more coming.

The Holy Spirit will not fail unless the human spirit fails.

The wind that blows out that light of reason is anger.

God's love may not exempt us from trials but it sees usthrough the trial.

It is not the abil ity to kick but the abil i ty to pull.

I t isbetter to drive wreckless than reckless.

An anxious man prayed, "Lord, I want patience, and I wanti t right now!"

A man testified, "I was conceited. The Lord set me free.Now, I'm the finest man you ever saw."

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5/18

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Litt le people stumble over lit tle things.gly is skin deep.

Don't let your parents down-They brought you up. You cannot bring about prosperity by discouraging thrift.

Teenagers should take orders. They will be giving them someday.

You cannot strengthen the weak by weakening the strong.

You cannot help strong men by tearing down big men.Stop and think before you drink.

Ditch your thoughts before they ditch you.You cannot help the wage earner by pulling down the wagepayer.

Show-off driving is childish. You cannot further the brotherhood of man by encouragingclass hatred.

Pick the right friends or they will pick you.You cannot help the poor by destroying the rich.

Girls must choose adate who is fit for a mate.You cannot establish sound security on borrowed money.

Don't go steady unless you are ready.

Live carefully, the soul you savecould be your own.You cannot keep out of trouble by spending more than youearn.

If you don't fast, you can't last. If you don't pray, you can'tstay.

You cannot build character and courage by taking away aman's initiative and independence.

How many months have 29 days on Leap Year? Twelve. You cannot help men permanently by doing for them whatthey could and should do for themselves.

Should a church have a 31-day march? Everyone does.

If you drive, don't drink. If you drink, don't drive.Choose your compan ions with care; you become what theyare.

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6/18

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could have been if he would have not used half of his timewishing.

Be master of your habits or they wil l master you.

Treasure your time; don't spend it; invest it.Some pilgrims on the Lord's highway are only tourists.

See what you can do for others; not what they can do foryou. If you put a limit on what you will do, you're actually

putting a limit on what you can do.Guard your thoughts; what you th ink, you are.

Don't fill up on this world's crumbs; feed your soul on theLiving Bread.

Don't try to be better than other people. Try to be betterthan you were yesterday.

Give your all to Christ; He gave His all for you.If you want to take weight off of your mind, discard yourhalo.

It is better to be a poor man and a rich Christian, than a richman and a poor Christian.

If you're trying to get even with a man, you could never getahead of him.

Better beg one's bread with Lazarus here, than beg waterwith the rich man hereafter.

One th ing that you can give and still keep is your word.

Love solves more problems than any other thing.Better to be the least in the kingdom of God than thegreatest outside of it. If someone steps on your toes, you should not have them

sticking out.How can your faith be strong enough to get to heaven if it isnot strong enough to get to church? If you have the anointing, you do not need to hang a horse

shoe over your door.If you will be something, God will do something throughyou. If you can't fly with the eagles in the morning, you can hoot

with the owls all night.One man spent half of his time wishing for something that he

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The proof of the pudding is in the eating thereof.ive and grow rich-grasp and get poor.

Love gives and forgives. What you do today affects the rest of your life.

In a basketball crowd, people keep dribbling in. That is theway it is in some church services.

You are a sinner or a saint. You are an "is" or you are an"ain't."

A minister is like a candle, he consumes himself while hegives life to others.

Anyth ing that is straight cannot be any straighter.

Anything that is clean can't be any cleaner.You can be a Pharisee or a Saducee or a "G lad-you-see."

One man said, "Where is the Lord God of Elijah?" Godanswered, "Where is Elijah?"

When you cross some men, they get even with you. Othermen will get angry.

Getting old is mind over matter. It does not matter if you donot mind.

A car with a sign on the back read, "Controlled Pollution." Itwas driven by a man who smoked a pipe.

Conceming the Bible, you should learn it before they burn it.Mr. Catch-em and Mr. Holder went in business with Mr.Cheat-em. They put up a sign, "Catch-em, Hold-em andCheat-em."

One boy got eighty-seven shaves out of one razor blade. Hewas nine years old. Buy cars cheap but do not buy a cheap car.

In some churches, some men sing a duet, preach asermonette, leave the church and then smoke a cigarette.

It is not what a Christian belongs to, it is who he belongs to.

The harder I work, the luckier I get.You lengthen or shorten your life according to the way thatyou live.

If God stays awake, I'll go on to sleep. Some people's thoughts tum to food when there is nothingelse to think of.

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8/18

Sometimes nothing may be the best thing to say.

Some people aim straight at the truth but prove to be poorshots.

Pleasure isthe time to do something useful.

If your boss is so dumb, how come he ever hired you?

Friends are made by many deeds but can be lost by one.

Silence may be golden but it sometimes starts in suspiciouspeople digging.

An education is teaching achild how to talk and then how tokeep quiet.Bigamy is the only crime on the books where two rightsmake a wrong.

Prayer should have never been taken out of the schoolbecause it caused some of us to graduate.

A man said that his wife is a human dynamo because shecharges everything.

There are two things that savea lot of guesswork. That is thecomputer and mini-skirts.

Many women can take a joke. They have one for a husband.

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Everything gets easier by practice except getting up in themorning.

If you seem to have difficulty meeting people, why don't youtry picking up their check?

Saying very little comes from thinking twice.

Doers and deciders are often criticized, but oddly enough bypeople who are usually neither doers or deciders.

What is the human race? It is a woman chasing a man.

The rules of safety and the rules of courtesy are usually thesame.

One of the secrets of success in business is busy-ness.

A man with delightful inventions without serious intentionsis a bachelor.

Many full churches are filled with empty people.

Some members get all they can and can all they get and thensit on the can.

Why advertise the banquet when you have no food?

When an elephant is in trouble, even a frog will kick him.

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9/18

You may tie your shoes this morning and the undertakerswill untie them tonight.

There is no such thing asa 95 per cent sinner. You are eithera sinner or a saint.

I am only a prayer away.

A hair in the head is worth two in the brush.

If you cannot get an offering out of the people, why don'tyou threaten them. Tell them that you are going to sing.

No one is too big to be courteous but some are too little.

As the twig is bent, so the twig will grow.

Feed your faith and harm your doubts.

Why don't you feed your faith instead of your face?

It is a sorry man who cannot say I am sorry.

Some people make much when they risk little.

One curve looks as well on one person as it does on anotherperson if it isn't small.

Taking a nap will prevent you from getting old while driving.

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While you are in a deep well, you can seethe stars at noon.

The only way that you can go isup if you're on the bottom.

Man says, "Show me and I will believe," but God says,"Believe and I will show you."

God put us in the world to live for one another.

The security of our nation rests on the strength of ourfamilies.

A tree never stops growing until it dies. Mamas are not muchdifferent.

There is always the place for an expression of faith and thepractice of love.

A friend comes in when all the world goes out.

Don't consider what your friend does but what he intendedto do.

You don't clean off dirt with mud neither do you heal an evilword with another evil word. Some people after they break ahabit mount the pieces and frame them.

Worry hovers around where faith has fainted.

A soldier that never obeys orders could never give orders.

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10/18

A wounded oyster mends his broken shell with a pearl. AChristian does the same.

My friend knows that I am not perfect but he treats me like Iam.

What I held in my hands, I lost. What I put in God's hands, Istill possess.

God did not give ten suggestions. He gave tencommandments.

I am not interested in where you have been but I aminterested where you are going.

I'm not interested in what you have done, I'm interested inwhat you are doing.

The greatest compliment God can give me is to prune me.

Some pilgrims on the Lord's highway are only tourists.

If you put a limit on what you will do, you're actuallyputting a limit on what you can do.

Don't try to be better than other people, try to be betterthan you were yesterday.

Love solves more problems than any other thing.

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Horse senseis not hitched to a wagging tongue.

The most welcomed gift that you can give is to give yourself.

Don't dwell on sad news.

Yesterday is gone. Tomorrow might never come. Make muchof today.

Nothing short of loving the Lord with all my heart and lovingmy neighbor as myself could please Him.

A word once spoken can never be recalled.

There is no happiness in things.

It is better to correct a fault in yourself than to correct tenfaults in your neighbor.

Some adolescents are like selling. They are pretty green, fullof vinegar and all mixed up.

A little bit of faith and a strong log can cause me to cross acreek but a lot of faith and a rotten log will cause me to fallinto the creek.

People want good mixers and God wants good separators.

Some men will never put their best foot forward until theyget the other foot in hot water.

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11/18

Some men will never repent of their sins until they arecaught.

Fault finders would bemiserable in heaven.

If you are ac itizen of the heavenly city where there is no sunor moon and where the Lord is the light, then you can sing inthis world at midnight.If I do what I should, I will not have time to do what Ishould not.

God sends us the storms to prove that He is the only realshelter.The things that I see in the mirror in the morning should bevery pleasant becauseI may not see it again all day.

The sound of prayer from the earth will bring a sound fromheaven.

If you tell my faults to others, you will tell others' faults tome.A strong man can stand still and trust.

Some Christians are l ike salt that has lost i ts savour. Some arel ike pepper that has lost i ts pep. They tell us little babies are angels but their wings growshorter astheir legsgrow longer.A married man should never get so busy earning his salt thathe forgets his sugar. On a tombstone: "He kept his tears to himself and shared hisjoy with others."Why complain that your days are only a few and then act likethere is no end to them? All sincomes from self will .

The straight and narrow path gets a lot of wear along theedges.

I will accept and advise if it does not intercept my plans.True sympathy comes from suffering.

The tongue of my shoe never stays in place. It reminds me ofa gossiper. A rich man is rich enough to leave some thingsalone.

In my Bible, I find the words, "Trust" and "Peace" ahundred times but I have never found the word "Worry."

Any preacher who serves God for money will servethe devilfor a I ittle more money.

18A man should spend money if it causes him to build hischaracter, but it iswrong to spend character to make money.

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12/18

Don't be so stingy that you would usesecond-hand materialto build air castles.

PleaseGod even if i t does offend the devil.

A doubt isbrother devil to despair.Jesuswas in better company in the stable than He would betoday in some Christmas parties.

Faith is really shocked if a mountain is not moved. If you have it in the well of your thoughts, it may come outin the bucket of your speech.

You have the wrong slant if you are looking down your noseat other people. Jesuswould have had a lonely time on earth had He refused

to associatewith sinners.Why would you want to give the Lord credit if you never giveHim any cash? The Lord will give you work if vc.s keep your tools sharp.Little white lies pick up a lot of dirt asthey travel. The devil may go to and fro but the Lord is already there.

I believe we should walk hand in hand even if we don't seeeye to eye. I don't want to lift up anybody except Jesus. I don't want torun anybody down except the devil.Why rise with the lark if you're not going to soar towardheaven? I would like to be a key hole through which somebody couldseethe Lord.I believe prayer can fly higher than an eagle ever flew. If you find your girl on the wrong track, you should find that

there is a switch on that track.High soaring or soaring high gives awide view.The world isa gigantic j igsaw puzzle with a piece missing.You should let your voice rise like a fountain night and day.

If I lose my spirit of prayer, I can do nothing for God. Patrick Henry said, "Give me liberty." Now people leave offthe word "liberty."Learn to laugh at trouble,


13/18

They tell us that there is more power in the open hand thanin the clenched fist.

The world's disappointed man is the man that gets what'scoming to him.

If we want to get sinners into heaven, we should get thesaints into the church.

Even a friend is more important than making a friend.

Don't drink while you drive or drive while you drink.Theology is the truth on ice, but evangelism is the truth onfire. Make your own impression. Don't be a carbon copy.

You are no bigger than the thing that makes you mad. Worry is to pull tomorrow's clouds over today's sunshine.

You are of the wrong kind if you're not kind. God will be dark if you are on the wrong side of the pillar offire.

Today is the seed of tomorrow and the fruit of yesterday.

Men make books but there is one book that makes men.Why don't you live so men will want your autograph insteadof your fingerprints?

God formed Adam and sin deformed Adam. God is big enough to be concerned with your smallest need.

Education may form a man but only Christ can transform aman.

The bottom pan in adouble boiler is always in hot water butnever knows what's cooking. That is the way with some men.

The future destiny of a child is always the work of a mother. If I don't know which way to tum, I tum to prayer.

A woman will overlook the rest of a man's life if he tells herthat she is beautiful.

What we do for God is not usually convenient.

We don't want borrowed trouble to be returned.

One minute of safety on the highway is better than a week ofchances.

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14/18

The modern conscience is made with a lever to throw it outof gear. Beauty without virtue isa rosewithout fragrance.

If you can't crown yourself with laurels,you can wreath yourface in smiles.The modern conscience ismade with a lever to throw it out

of gear. An exaggerationis a truth that haslost its temper.A "brat" is a child who acts like your own but belongs to aneighbor. Hewho practices what he preachesmay haveto put in someover-time!"Soft soap" in the pulpit will not cleansethe sinner in thepew. Marriageiseither a holy wedlock or anunholy deadlock.

Having his name on the church roll doesn't make a man aChristian any more than owning a piano makes him amusician.

The straight and narrow road is the only path that hasnotroub Iewith traffic.

You are young only once, but you can stay immatureindefinitely.You grow up the day you haveyour first real laugh ... at

yourself. Learn a new four letter, word ... WORK ... If you can'twork ... PRAY.Too many church members have been starched and ironed

without beingwashed. Rosesare red, violets are blue, but they don't get around likedandelions do.

Seenothing-hear nothing-know nothing!It's not enoughjust to begood-be good for something! There are two kinds of people-those who lift and those wholean.If there were asmany idle parts in an automobile asmembersin the church, the automobile couldn't run down hill. God in Hiswisdom hasmadethe mouth to close,and the earto remain open.Before trying to keepup wifh your neighbors, find out wherethey're going. 25


15/18

This fast age seems more concerned about speed thandirection.

will be from those of our own generation who have beenobi igedto learn the hardway.

A slap on the back will help form character if applied earlyenough,often enoughand low enough.

Rejoice! Hecame! He'scoming again!

. "The bee isseldomcomplimented for making honey-it's justcriticized for stinging!"

To grieve over sin is one thing; to repent is altogetheranother!

God shook the world with aBaby, not abomb."Good morning, Jesus,this is the first day of the rest of mylife ... "

A smile is the lighting system of the face, and the heatingsystemof the heart.

Character is the one thing we make in this world and takewith us into the next.

It's sad that the only respectsomepeople havefor Sunday isto wear their bestclothes.

God always makes round faces.We are the ones that makethe long faces.

Cosmetics: Preparations used by teenagers to make themlook older sooner, and by their mothers to make them lookyounger longer.

Of all the things you wear, your expression is the mostimportant.

He who has left anxiety about his own life begins to careabout the livesof all around him.

If you havea half hour to spare,don't spendit with someonewho hasn't.

The devil's best work is done by many who claim to lovetheLord.

Unconsecrated wealth of Christians is one of the greatesthindrancesto the church's progress.

There is no right way to do awrong thing. In the matter of giving, some have short arms and deeppockets.I rather think that when our land isstirred for Christ again,it Hewho abandonshimself to God will neverbeabandonedby

God.26 27


16/18

The easiest road always heads downward. Why buy ice cream and reducing pills both?

If your religion costs little, it is worth little. Why buy eggs and chicken feed too?

Emotion is no substitution for devotion. Why get a speeding ticket going to play golf?

If your religion costs little, it is worth little. Radar spells the same both ways-Police will get you comingor going.

We can't all be apostles, but we can all be "living epistles."I believe in the sun when it is raining.

A man is also known by the company he avoids.

You can't put things across by getti ng cross.There are no hopeless situations-Some folk become hopelessabout them.

What you are when you are not trying to be anything, is thesupreme test of what you are.

USA has a sin problem rather than a skin problem.

It is not a race problem, but a grace problem.God rewards not according to the amount of work done, butaccording to faithfulness in doing it. I am not a man with great faith, I am a man with a little faith

in a great God.He who provides for this life, but takes no care for eternity,iswise for a moment, but a fool forever. The only limit to the power of God lies within the individual.

He who knows the way of the Lord can find it in the dark. If you don't like policemen, the next time you are in trouble,call a hippie.She has fought a good fight but she hasn't kept the faith.

I'm one of the family-if God has died why was I notnotified?

Men talk of brotherhood, but we have more hoods thanbrothers.

We are a chosen generation-not a frozen generation.

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17/18

Weare asstraight asa gun barrel and just asempty. You can't let your light shine with your lip hanging down.Some members are like straight pens-They point one wayand head the other.

Some don't appreciate the water til the well is dry.God wants to supply His need so you can supply His need.

Religion isa good armor and a bad cloak.God wants to blessyou so you can bless His work.

White wash won't strengthen a fence-or a church member.Some members have been starched and ironed, but havenever been washed.

If God can't turn believers into millionaires, He will turnmil lionaires into believers.. -You don't appreciate the milk til the cow goes dry.

I am not what I think I am, but what I think-I am.Some come to a crisis before they come to Christ.

I get tired in serving God, but not tired of serving God.Character develops in a crisis.Jonah had a whale of a time.Character is not made in cotton wool.

When a smile reachesthe eyes, i t isreal.Defeat turns grissel into muscle.

Time heals all wounds and wounds all heels.The smallest deed isbetter than the greatest intention.

Smoking may not send you to hell, but it will make you feellike you've been there. A witness is a man who stands out, becausehe is not afraid to

stand up.You may go to heaven if you eat pork-You may get theresooner. Hypocrites may keep you from going to church, but they

can't keep you from going to hell.You don't appreciate the water til the well goesdry.

30If it is important to live what you preach, it isa lso importantto preach what you live.

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18/18

A generation ago people crossed the country in wagon trains.Now they watch wagon trains on television.

The duck said, "If there is no water, I will walk."

Sixty-four Kennedy half-dol lars are worth $32.00 in 1980.

A witness is a man who outreaches others because he reachesout to others.

"The 'Pilgrim Way' has proved to be a way of thrillingadventures-of delightful surprises-of new discoveries infaith-of finding out how little we are and how great Godis-of learning lessons never taught at the feet of anyGamaliel, nor included in the curriculum of any school."

Wife: "Do you have an alarm clock that will awake husbandonly"?

A ID T O W O R S H IPP O E M S T H A T IN S P IR EM A G N IF Y H IS N A M E

T h e P O W E R in H IS N A M EH E S H A L L G L O R I F Y M E

o T fiE SE M E NLONG H AIR

A witness is a man who lifts others up, because he bendsdown to their weakness.

Religion can be both a steering wheel and a brake; it canguide you along the right road and stop you at the wrongone.

I am going to send you 60 of my best faith books, on casting out devils,healing the sick, faith, Holy Ghost, prophecy, and almost every subject of theBlbl . You will be on my prayer fist every day until Jesus comes. I'll pray that Q..you will have a double portion ministry. I want you to be my partner and pray _for me. When you finish reading these books and filling out the test papers we :cwill send you a diploma which you can frame and have on your wall. It willremind you that I am praying for you every day, that you are my partner in Vprayer. If you are a minister you may receive a license to preach. There is no c x : : : :charge for the packing, boxing, storage, shipping, postage, exam papers,grading, secretary expense, diplomas, or ordination papers. Your dues will be UJpaid up for life. (Others charge $12.00 per year and up). You can pay for them Z$.50 per week or send in the name of one new student per month, either one youyou choose. If you send one name per month all the textbooks are free. l--Dear TVD Staff: - c x : : : :o Please send the 60 W. V. Grant faith books. I will send 50 cen;r: < C .

per week, or one name per month, of someone who wants this course.

32

o Put me on your prayer list. P'ray for me at a certain time each day. I'llyour partner.o I want a license to preach when I finish the books. I understand the licensOcosts no money and my dues will be paid for life. (To forge another's --lsignature is fraud.) --l

YOUR SIGNATURE ill

condensed sermons in capsules - witty bits of wit by w. v. grant, sr

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