Addressing Offensive Behavior in Diverse Communities

Patrick J. Hale, M.S.Ed.Residence Hall DirectorBoston University Residence Life

Why are you here?

What You Will Learn

How to define and notice offensive behavior

Understand the importance of addressing such behavior

Learn about different strategies and tools for responding to offensive behavior

Ground Rules

We are all here to learn and grow We each offer individual experience

and knowledge This is a safe AND brave space Share air time One mic, one diva Other important ones?

What is Offensive Behavior?

“behavior that causes injury or insult”

“causing someone to feel deeply hurt, upset, or angry”

Synonyms: Rude Annoying Foul Uncivil

Residence Life Mission

Residence Life engages and connects students in residential and University communities, fostering students’ growth as leaders equipped to interact in a local and global context.

We strive to facilitate student learning and development in a safe and healthy experience, defined by respect and dignity for all individuals.

Human beings change their behavior based on the relationships that that they have with others.

Expe

ctat

ions

of o

ther

s

Support and care for others

HIGH

HIGHLOW

TO(punitive)

WITH

(restorative)

NOT(neglectful)

FOR(permissive)

Raising the B.A.R.

Breathe Acknowledge Respond

ReactAttackBreathe

Best Way to Communicate with Others

The Harmful Way to Communicate with Others

When We Attack….

Withdraw

avoid

ATTACKBACK

attackself

Tools and Strategies

Affective statements “I felt really angered by what you said/did.” “I’m concerned that what you said hurt

that other student.” “I appreciate you hearing me out.”

Affective questions “What did you mean by that statement?” “How do you think the other person might

have been affected by your actions?”

Other Things You Can Do

Focus on the behavior

Use “I” statements Control your own

actions Listen without

judgment Be patient Take care of

yourself

Things You Should Try to Avoid Pass judgment on

the person Be “preachy” Yell or shout at the

person Offend the other

person Force the other

person to change

Important Lessons We are doing the best

we can (most of the time).

Commit yourself to constant learning.

We are just as capable of harming others.

We must own our own biases and judgments.

Human beings do grow and change over time.

What Would You Do?