congreve way of the world

8/18/2019 Congreve Way of the World

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Congreve, William, 1670-1729: : The way of the world (1700)

i!liogra"hi# detail$

Bibliographic details for the Electronic File

Congreve, William, 1670-1729: The Way of the World (1700)

Cambridge 1996

Chady!"-#ealey

$ngli%h &ro%e 'rama ll-Te*t 'ataba%e

Co+yright 1996 Chady!"-#ealey 'o not e*+ort or +rint from thi% databa%e ithot !he!"ing the

Co+yright Condition% to %ee hat i% +ermitted

Bibliographic details for the Source Text

William Congreve, 1670-1729(1670-1729) The Way of the World, a !omedy .% it i% .!ted at the

Theatre in /in!oln%-nn-ield%, by #i% a3e%ty% 4ervant% Written by r Congreve

/ondon

&rinted for 5a!ob Ton%on et! 1700

8, 88 +

&reliminarie% and introd!tory matter omitted

Play details

The way of the world%enre: Comedy

'ate fir%t +bli%hed: 1700

'ate fir%t +erformed: ar 1700

&age

T&' Way of the World,

C*'+%

$ it i$ CT'+ T T&' Theatre in Lincoln's-Inn-Fields, &i$ *ae$ty.$

/ervant$%

ront matter

Audire est Operæ pretium, procedere recteQui mæchis non vultis---

1



Hor. Sat. . l. 1.

---!etuat doti deprensa.---

"#id.

&age

To the ight #onorable ./&# $arl of !O$%&A'$( , ;!

&age

PRL!"E# Spo$en by %r& Betterton&

f those )e* +ools, *ho *ith ill Stars are cursd,

Sure scri##lin +ools, calld oets, )are the *orst.

+or the/re a sort o) +ools *hich +ortune maes,

And a)ter she has made em +ools, )orsaes.

ith %atures Oa)s tis 2uite a di))rent 3ase,

+or +ortune )avours all her "diot-4ace5 "n her o*n %est the 3uco*-(s *e )ind,

Oer *hich she #roods to hatch the 3hanlin-ind.

%o ortion )or her o*n she has to spare,

So much she doats on her adopted 3are.

oets are u##les, #/ the &o*n dra*n in,

Su))erd at )irst some tri)lin Staes to *in5

ut *hat une2ual Ha8ards do the/ run

(ach time the/ *rite, the/ venture all the/ve *on5

&he S2uire thats #utterd still, is sure to #e undone.&his Author, hereto)ore, has )ound /our +avour,

ut pleads no !erit )rom his past ehaviour.

&o #uild on that miht prove a vain resumption,

Should 'rants to oets made, admit 4esumption5

And in arnassus he must lose his Seat,

") that #e )ound a )or)eited (state.

He o*ns, *ith &oil, he *rouht the )ollo*in Scenes,

ut i) the/re nauht nere spare him )or his ains5

:amn him the more; have no 3ommiseration +or :ulness on mature :eli#eration.

He s*ears hell not resent one hissd-o)) Scene,

%or, lie those peevish its, his la/ maintain,

2



ho, to assert their Sense, /our &aste arrain.

Some lot *e thin he has, and some ne* &houht;

Some Humour too, no +arce; #ut thats a +ault.

Satire, he thins, /ou ouht not to e<pect,

+or so 4e)ormd a &o*n, *ho dares 3orrect=

&o please, this time, has #een his sole retence,

Hell not instruct least it should ive O))ence.

Should he #/ chance a nave or +ool e<pose,

&hat hurts none here, sure here are none o) those.

"n short, our la/, shall >*ith /our leave to she* it?

'ive /ou one "nstance o) a assive oet.

ho to /our @udments /ields all 4esination;

So Save or :amn, a)ter /our o*n :iscretion.

&age

/i%t of %+ea"er%:

1#

er$on +ramati$%

*'3%

y

+ainall , n /ove ith !rs. arood r ettertons

!ira#ell , n /ove ith !rs. illamant r er#ruen

it*oud , olloer of !rs. illamant r o*en

etulant , olloer of !rs. illamant r o*man

4ir ill)ull it*oud , #alf <rother to it*oud , and =e+he to

/ady ish)ort r $nderhill

ait*ell , 4ervant to !ira#ell r riht

W*'3%

/ady ish)ort , $nemy to !ira#ell , for having fal%ely

+retended /ove to herr% Beih

r% !illamant , . fine /ady, =ie!e to /ady ish)ort , and

love% !ira#ell

r%

raceirdle

r% !ar*ood , riend to !r. ainall, and li"e% !ira#ell r% arr/

r% +ainall , 'aghter to /ady ish)ort , and Wife to +ainall ,

formerly riend to !ira#ell r% o*man

+oi#le, Woman to /ady ish)ort r% illis

!incin , Woman to !rs. illamant r% rince

:ancers, +ootmen, and Attendants.

4C$=$ BO%:O%

&he &ime e2ual to that o) the resentation.

&age 1

>

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*ain te4t

CT 5%

/C'3' 5%

A 3hocolate-house.

!ira#ell and +ainall C4isin )rom 3ardsD ett/ *aitin.

!ira.

o are a fortnate an, r +ainall ?

+ain.

#ave e done@ ?

!ira.

What yo +lea%e ll +lay on to entertain ? yo ?

+ain.

=o, ll give yo yor evenge another time, ? hen yo are not %o indifferentA yo are thin"ing of

%omething ? el%e no, and +lay too negligentlyA the Coldne%% of a ? lo%ing ame%ter le%%en% the&lea%re of the Winner: d no ? more +lay ith a an that %lighted hi% ill ortne, than ? d ma"e

/ove to a Woman ho ndervald the /o%% of her ? e+tation ?

&age 2

!ira.

Bo have a Ta%te e*treamly deli!ate, and are for ? refining on yor &lea%re% ?



+ain.

&rithee, hy %o re%ervd@ 4omething ha% +t yo ? ot of #mor ?

!ira.

=ot at all: ha++en to be grave to dayA and yo ? are gayA that% all ?

+ain.

Confe%%, !illamant and yo Darrelld la%t =ight, ? after left yoA my fair Co%in ha% %ome

#mor%, that ? od tem+t the +atien!e of a 4toi!" What, %ome Co*!omb ? !ame in, and a% ellre!eivd by her, hile yo ? ere by ?

!ira.

it*oud and etulant A and hat a% or%e, her ? .nt, yor Wife% other, my evil eni%A or to

%m + ? 2E all in her on =ame, my old /ady ish)ort !ame in--- ?

+ain.

F there it i% then---4he ha% a la%ting &a%%ion for ? yo, and ith ea%on---What, then my Wife a%

? there@ ?

!ira.

Be%, and r% !ar*ood and three or for more, ? hom never %a beforeA %eeing me, they all +t

on their ? grave a!e%, hi%+erd one anotherA then !om+laind alod ? of the Ga+or%, and after fell

into a +rofond 4ilen!e ?

+ain.

They had a mind to be rid of yo ?

!ira.

E



or hi!h ea%on re%olvd not to %tir .t la%t ? the good old /ady bro"e thro her +ainfl Ta!itrnity,

ith ? an nve!tive again%t long Gi%it% old not have nder%tood ? her, bt !illamant 3oining in

the .rgment, ro%e ? and ith a !on%traind 4mile told her, thoght nothing ? a% %o ea%ie a% to

"no hen a Gi%it began to be troble%omeA ? %he redned and ithdre, ithot e*+e!ting her

e+ly ?

+ain.

Bo ere to blame to re%ent hat %he %+o"e only ? in Com+lian!e ith her .nt ?

!ira.

4he i% more i%tre%% of her %elf, than to be nder ? the ne!e%%ity of %!h a re%ignation ?

+ain.

What@ tho half her ortne de+end% +on her ? marrying ith my /ady% .++robation@ ?

!ira.

a% then in %!h a #mor, that %hod have ? been better +lea%d if %he had been le%% di%!reet ?

&age >

+ain.

=o remember, onder not they ere eary ? E0 of yoA la%t =ight a% one of their Cabal-

night%A they ? have em three time% a Wee", and meet by trn%, at one ? another% .+artment%, here

they !ome together li"e the ? Coroner% nDe%t, to %it +on the mrderd e+tation% of ? the Wee"Bo and are e*!ldedA and it a% on!e +ro+o%d ? that all the ale 4e* %hod be e*!e+tedA bt

%omebody ? movd that to avoid 4!andal there might be one an ? of the CommnityA +on hi!h

otion it*oud and etulant ? ere enrolld ember% ?

!ira.

.nd ho may have been the ondre%% of thi% 4e!t@ ? y /ady ish)ort , arrant, ho +bli%he%

her 'ete%tation ? of an"indA and fll of the Gigor of ifty five, de!lare% ? for a riend and

4ata)iaA and let &o%terity %hift for it ? %elf, %hell breed no more ?

6



+ain.

The di%!overy of yor %ham .ddre%%e% to her, to ? !on!eal yor /ove to her =ie!e, ha% +rovo"d thi%

4e+aration: ? #ad yo di%%embld better, Thing% might have !ontind ? in the %tate of =atre ?

!ira.

did a% m!h a% an !od, ith any rea%onable ? Con%!ien!eA +ro!eeded to the very la%t .!t of

lattery ? ith her, and a% gilty of a 4ong in her Commendation: ? =ay, got a riend to +t her

into a /am+oon, and !om+lement ? her ith the m+tation of an .ffair ith a yong ? ello,

hi!h !arryd %o far, that told her the mali!io% ? Ton too" noti!e that %he a% gron fat of a

%ddainA ? 7E and hen %he lay in of a 'ro+%ie, +er%aded her %he a% re+orted ? to be in /abor

The 'evil% int, if an old Woman ? i% to be flatterd frther, nle%% a an %hod endeavor ?

donright +er%onally to deba!h herA and that my ? Girte forbad me <t for the di%!overy of that.mor, ? am ndebted to yor riend, or yor Wife% riend ? r% !ar*ood ?

+ain.

What %hold +rovo"e her to be yor $nemy, ithot ? %he ha% made yo .dvan!e%, hi!h yo have

%lighted@ ? Women do not ea%ily forgive Fmi%%ion% of that =atre ?

!ira.

4he a% alay% !ivil to me, till of lateA !onfe%% ? am not one of tho%e Co*!omb% ho are a+t to

inter+ret a ?

&age

Woman% good anner% to her &re3di!eA and thin" that ? %he ho doe% not ref%e em every thing,

!an ref%e em nothing ?

+ain.

Bo are a gallant an, !ira#ell A and tho yo ? may have Crelty enogh, not to %ati%fie a /ady%

longingA ? yo have too m!h enero%ity, not to be tender of her #onor ? Bet yo %+ea" ith an

ndifferen!e hi!h %eem% to ? be affe!tedA and !onfe%%e% yo are !on%!io% of a =egligen!e ?

!ira.

Bo +r%e the .rgment ith a di%tr%t that ? %eem% to be naffe!ted, and !onfe%%e% yo are

!on%!io% of a ? Con!ern for hi!h the /ady i% more indebted to yo, than ? yor Wife ?

7



+ain.

ie, fie riend, if yo gro Cen%orio% m%t ? leave yoA---ll loo" +on the ame%ter% in the ne*t

? 100 oom ?

!ira.

Who are they@ ?

+ain.

etulant and it*oud ---<ring me %ome Cho!olate ?

C(<it.

!ira.

ett/, hat %ay% yor Clo!"@ ?

ett/.

Trnd of the la%t Canoni!al #or, 4ir ?

C(<it.

!ira.

#o +ertinently the 5ade an%er% meH #a@ almo%t ? Fne a Clo!"H

CBooin on his atchD

F, yare ? !ome--- ?

(nter a Servant.

WellA i% the grand .ffair over@ Bo have been %omething ? tedio% ?

Serv.

4ir, there% %!h Co+ling at ancras, that they ? %tand behind one another, a% tere in a Contry

'an!e ? Fr% a% the la%t Co+le to lead +A and no ho+e% a++earing ? of di%+at!h, <e%ide%, the

8



&ar%on groing hoar%e, e ere ? afraid hi% /ng% old have faild before it !ame to or ? trnA %o

e drove rond to :ue% laceA and there they ? ere riveted in a tri!e ?

!ira.

4o, %o, yo are %re they are arried ?

Serv.

arried and <edded, 4ir: am Witne%% ?

&age E

!ira.

#ave yo the Certifi!ate@ ?

Serv.

#ere it i%, 4ir ?

!ira.

#a% the Taylor broght ait*ell % Cloath% home, ? and the ne /iverie%@ ?

Serv.

Be%, 4ir ?

!ira.

That% ell 'o yo go home again, dee hear, ? 12E and ad3orn the Con%mmation till farther

FrderA bid ? ait*ell %ha"e hi% $ar%, and 'ame artlet r%tle + her eather%, ? and meet me at Fne

a Clo!" by 4osamond % &ond ? That may %ee her before %he retrn% to her /adyA and a% ? yo

tender yor $ar% be %e!ret ?

C(<it Servant.

9



4e-(nter +ainall.

+ain.

5oy of yor 4!!e%%, !ira#ell A yo loo" +lea%d ?

!ira.

.yA have been engagd in a atter of %ome %ort ? of irth, hi!h i% not yet ri+e for di%!overy am

glad ? thi% i% not a Cabal-night onder, +ainall , that yo ho ? are arried, and of Con%eDen!e

%hold be di%!reet, ill ? %ffer yor Wife to be of %!h a &arty ?

+ain.

aith, am not 5ealo% <e%ide%, mo%t ho are ? engagd are Women and elation%A and for the en,

they ? are of a Iind too Contem+tible to give 4!andal ?

!ira.

am of another F+inion The greater the Co*!omb, ? alay% the more the 4!andal: or a Woman

ho i% ? not a ool, !an have bt one ea%on for a%%o!iating ith a ? an that i% ?

+ain.

.re yo 5ealo% a% often a% yo %ee it*oud entertaind ? by !illamant @ ?

!ira.

Ff her Jnder%tanding am, if not of her &er%on ?

+ain.

Bo do her rongA for to give her her 'e, %he ? ha% Wit ?

!ira.

10



4he ha% <eaty enogh to ma"e any an thin" %oA ? and Com+lai%an!e enogh not to !ontradi!t him

ho %hall ? 1E0 tell her %o ?

+ain.

or a +a%%ionate /over, methin"% yo are a an ? %omehat too di%!erning in the ailing% of yor

i%tre%% ?

&age 6

!ira.

.nd for a di%!erning an, %omehat too +a%%ionate ? a /overA for li"e her ith all her alt%A nay,li"e ? her for her alt% #er ollie% are %o natral, or %o artfl, ? that they be!ome herA and tho%e

.ffe!tation% hi!h in another ? Woman od be odio%, %erve bt to ma"e her more ? agreeable ll

tell thee, +ainall , %he on!e %d me ith that ? n%olen!e, that in evenge too" her to +ie!e%A %ifted

her ? and %e+arated her ailing%A %tdyd em, and got em by ? rote The Cataloge a% %o large,

that a% not ithot ? ho+e%, one 'ay or other to hate her heartily: To hi!h ? end %o %d my %elf

to thin" of em, that at length, !ontrary ? to my 'e%ign and $*+e!tation, they gave me every ? #or

le%% and le%% di%trban!eA till in a fe 'ay% it be!ame ? habital to me, to remember em ithot

being di%+lea%d ? They are no gron a% familiar to me a% my on railtie%A ? and in all

+robability in a little time longer %hall li"e ? em a% ell ?

+ain.

arry her, marry herA be half a% ell a!Dainted ? ith her Charm%, a% yo are ith her 'efe!t%, and

my ? /ife ont, yo are yor on an again ?

!ira.

4ay yo %o@ ?

+ain.

, , have $*+erien!e: have a Wife, and %o ? 17E forth ?

(nter !essener.

!ess.

11



% one 4Dire it*oud here@ ?

ett/.

Be%A hat% yor <%ine%%@ ?

!ess.

have a /etter for him, from hi% <rother 4ir il)ull , ? hi!h am !hargd to deliver into hi% on

#and% ?

ett/.

#e% in the ne*t oom, riend---That ay ?

C(<it. !ess.

!ira.

What, i% the Chief of that noble amily in Ton, ? 4ir il)ull it*oud= ?

+ain.

#e i% e*+e!ted to 'ay 'o yo "no him@ ?

!ira.

have %een him, he +romi%e% to be an e*traordinary ? &er%onA thin" yo have the #onor to be

related to ? him ?

&age 7

+ain.

Be%A he i% half <rother to thi% it*oud by a former ? Wife, ho a% 4i%ter to my /ady ish)ort , my

Wife% ? other f yo marry !illamant yo m%t !all Co%in% ? too ?

12



!ira.

had rather be hi% elation than hi% .!Daintan!e ?

+ain.

#e !ome% to Ton in order to $Di+ him%elf for ? Travel ?

!ira.

or TravelH Why the an that mean i% above ? orty ?

+ain.

=o matter for thatA ti% for the #onor of (nland , ? that all (urope %hold "no e have <lo!"head%

of all ? .ge% ?

!ira.

onder there i% not an .!t of &arliament to %ave ? 200 the Credit of the =ation, and +rohibit the

$*+ortation of ? ool% ?

+ain.

<y no mean%, ti% better a% ti%A ti% better to Trade ? ith a little /o%%, than to be Dite eaten +, ith

being ? over%to!"d ?

!ira.

&ray, are the ollie% of thi% Inight-$rrant, and ? tho%e of the 4Dire hi% <rother, any thing related@ ?

+ain.

=ot at allA it*oud gro% by the Inight, li"e a ? edlar grafted on a Crab Fne ill melt in yoroth, ? and tother %et yor Teeth on edgeA one i% all &l+, and ? the other all Core ?

1>



!ira.

4o one ill be rotten before he be ri+e, and the other ? ill be rotten ithot ever being ri+e at all ?

+ain.

4ir il)ull i% an odd mi*tre of <a%hflne%% and ? Fb%tina!y---<t hen he% drn", he% a% loving a%

the ? on%ter in the Tem+e%tA and m!h after the %ame manner ? To give the tother hi% deA he ha%

%omething of good =atre, ? and doe% not alay% ant Wit ?

!ira.

=ot alay%A bt a% often a% hi% emory fail% him, ? and hi% !ommon +la!e of Com+ari%on% #e i% a

ool ith a ? good emory, and %ome fe 4!ra+% of other ol"% Wit ? #e i% one ho%e

Conver%ation !an never be a++rovd, yet it ? i% no and then to be endrd #e ha% indeed one good ?

Kality, he i% not $*!e+tio%A for he %o +a%%ionately affe!t% ?

&age 8

the e+tation of nder%tanding ailleryA that he ill ? 22E !on%tre an .ffront into a 5e%tA and !all

donright dene%% ? and ill /angage, 4atyr and ire ?

+ain.

f yo have a mind to fini%h hi% &i!treA yo have ? an o++ortnity to do it at fll length <ehold the

Friginal ?

(nter it*oud.

it.

.fford me yor Com+a%%ion, my 'ear%A +ity me, ? +ainall, !ira#ell , +ity me ?

!ira.

do from my 4ol ?

+ain.

1



it.

ood, good !ira#ell, le :roleH ood, good, hang ? him, dont let% tal" of himA--- +ainall , ho doe%

yor ? 2E0 /ady@ ad, %ay any thing in the World to get thi% ello ? ot of my #ead beg

&ardon that %hod a%" a ? an of &lea%re, and the Ton, a Ke%tion at on!e %o orreign ? and

'ome%ti!" <t Tal" li"e an old aid at a ? arriage, dont "no hat %ay: <t %he% the be%t

Woman ? in the World ?

+ain.

Ti% ell yo dont "no hat yo %ay, or el%e ? yor Commendation od go near to ma"e me

either Gain ? or 5ealo% ?

&age 9

it.

=o an in Ton live% ell ith a Wife bt ? +ainall : Bor 5dgment !ira#ell ?

!ira.

Bo had better %te+ and a%" hi% WifeA if yo od ? be !redibly informd ?

it.

!ira#ell. ?

!ira.

.y ?

it.

y 'ear, a%" ten tho%and &ardon%A---ad ? have forgot hat a% going to %ay to yo ?

!ira.

16



than" yo heartily, heartily ?

it.

=o, bt +rithee e*!%e me,---my emory i% %!h ? a emory ?

!ira.

#ave a !are of %!h .+ologie%, it*oud A---for ? never "ne a ool bt he affe!ted to !om+lain,

either of ? the 4+leen or hi% emory ?

+ain.

What have yo done ith etulant @ ?

it.

#e% re!"oning hi% ony,---my ony it a%,--- ? 27E have no /!" to 'ay ?

+ain.

Bo may allo him to in of yo at &layA--- ? for yo are %re to be too hard for him at e+artee:

%in!e ? yo mono+oliLe the Wit that i% beteen yo, the ortne ? m%t be hi% of Cor%e ?

!ira.

dont find that etulant !onfe%%e% the 4+eriority ? of Wit to be yor Talent, it*oud ?

it.

Come, !ome, yo are mali!io% no, and od ? breed 'ebate%--- etulant % my riend, and a very

hone%t ? ello, and a very +retty ello, and ha% a %mattering--- ? aith and Troth a +retty deal of

an odd %ort of a %mall Wit: ? =ay, ll do him 5%ti!e m hi% riend, ont rong ? him neither---

.nd if he had bt any 5dgment in the ? World,---he od not be altogether !ontem+tible Come ?

!ome, dont detra!t from the erit% of my riend ?

+ain.

17



Bo dont ta"e yor riend to be overni!ely ? bred ?

it.

=o, no, hang him, the oge ha% no anner% at all, ? that m%t on---=o more breeding than a

<m-baily, ? that grant yo,---Ti% &ity faithA the ello ha% ire ? and /ife ?

!ira.

What, Corage@ ?

&age 10

it.

#m, faith dont "no a% to that,--- !ant %ay ? a% to that---Be%, aith, in a Controver%ie hell

!ontradi!t ? any <ody ?

!ira.

>00 Tho tere a an hom he feard, or a Woman ? hom he lovd ?

it.

Well, ell, he doe% not alay% thin" before he ? %+ea"%A---We have all or ailing%A yore too hard

+on ? him, yo are aith /et me e*!%e him,--- !an defend ? mo%t of hi% alt%, e*!e+t one or

toA one he ha%, ? that% the Trth ont, if he ere my <rother, !od not ? a!Dit him---That indeed

!od i%h ere otheri%e ?

!ira.

.y marry, hat% that, it*oud @ ?

it.

F +ardon me---$*+o%e the nfirmitie% of my ? riend---=o, my 'ear, e*!%e me there ?

18



+ain.

What arrant he% n%in!ere, or ti% %ome %!h ? Trifle ?

it.

=o, no, hat if he be@ Ti% no matter for that, ? hi% Wit ill e*!%e that: . Wit %hod no more be

%in!ere, ? than a Woman !on%tantA one arge% a de!ay of &art%, a% ? tother of <eaty ?

!ira.

ay be yo thin" him too +o%itive@ ?

it.

=o, no, hi% being +o%itive i% an n!entive to .rgment, ? and "ee+% + Conver%ation ?

+ain.

Too lliterate ?

it.

ThatH that% hi% #a++ine%%---#i% ant of /earning, ? give% him the more o++ortnitie% to %he hi%

natral ? &art% ?

!ira.

#e ant% Word% ?

it.

>2E .yA bt li"e him for that noA for hi% ant of ? Word% give% me the +lea%re very often to

e*+lain hi% ? meaning ?

19



+ain.

#e% m+dent ?

it.

=oA that% not it ?

!ira.

Gain ?

it.

=o ?

!ira.

What, he %+ea"% n%ea%onable Trth% %ometime%, ? be!a%e he ha% not Wit enogh to invent an$va%ion ?

&age 11

it.

Trth%H #a, ha, haH =o, no, %in!e yo ill have ? it,--- mean he never %+ea"% Trth at all,---that% all

? #e ill lie li"e a Chambermaid, or a Woman of Kality% ? &orter =o that i% a alt ?

(nter 3oachman.

3oach.

% a%ter etulant here, i%tre%%@ ?

ett/.

20



Be% ?

3oach.

Three entleomen in the Coa!h old %+ea" ? ith him ?

+ain.

F brave etulant , threeH ?

ett/.

ll tell him ?

3oach.

Bo m%t bring to 'i%he% of Cho!olate and a ? la%% of Cinnamon-ater ?

C(<it.

it.

That %hold be for to fa%ting 4trm+et%, and a ? <ad trobld ith Wind =o yo may "no

hat ? the three are ?

!ira.

Bo are very free ith yor riend% .!Daintan!e ?

it.

>E0 .y, ay, riend%hi+ ithot reedom i% a% dll a% ? /ove ithot $n3oyment, or Wine ithot

Toa%tingA bt ? to tell yo a 4e!ret, the%e are Trll% that he allo% Coa!h-hire, ? and %omething more

by the Wee", to !all on him ? on!e a 'ay at +bli!" &la!e% ?

!ira.

21



#oH ?

it.

Bo %hall %ee he ont go to em be!a%e there% no ? more Com+any here to ta"e noti!e of him---

Why thi% i% ? nothing to hat he %d to doA---<efore he fond ot thi% ? ay, have "non him !all

for him%elf--- ?

+ain.

Call for him%elf@ What do%t tho mean@ ?

it.

ean, hy he od %li+ yo ot of thi% Cho!olate-ho%e, ? 3%t hen yo had been tal"ing to him---

.% ? %oon a% yor <a!" a% trnd---Whi+ he a% goneA--- ? Then tri+ to hi% /odging, !la+ on a

#ood and 4!arf, and ? a%", %la+ into a #a!"ney---Coa!h, and drive hither to the ? 'oor again in a

tri!eA here he od %end in for him%elf, ? that mean, !all for him%elf, ait for him%elf, nay and

hat% ? more, not finding him%elf, %ometime% leave a /etter for him%elf ?

&age 12

!ira.

!onfe%% thi% i% %omething e*traordinary--- believe ? he ait% for him%elf no, he i% %o long a

!omingA ? F a%" hi% &ardon ?

(nter etulant.

ett/,

4ir, the Coa!h %tay% ?

et.

Well, ellA !ome---4hd, a an had a% good ? be a +rofe%%d idife a% a +rofe%t Whorema%ter, at

thi% ? >7E rateA to be "no!"d + and rai%d at all #or%, and in all ? &la!e% &o* on em ont

!ome---'ee hear, tell em ? ont !ome---/et em %nivel and !ry their #eart% ? ot ?

22



+ain.

Bo are very !rel, etulant ?

et.

.ll% one, let it +a%%--- have a #mor to be ? !rel ?

!ira.

ho+e they are not &er%on% of Condition that yo ? %e at thi% rate ?

et.

Condition, Condition% a dryd ig, if am not in ? #mor---<y thi% #and, if they ere yor---a---

a--- ? yor What-dee-!all-em% them%elve%, they m%t ait or rb ? off, if ant .++etite ?

!ira.

What-dee-!all-em%H What are they, it*oud @ ?

it.

$m+re%%e%, my 'ear---<y yor What-dee-!all-em% ? he mean% 4ltana Keen% ?

et.

.y, 4o<olana% ?

!ira.

Cry yo er!y ?

+ain.

2>



it*oud %ay% they are--- ?

et.

What doe% he %ay th are@ ?

it.

A fine /adie% %ay ?

et.

&a%% on, it*oud ---#ear"ee, by thi% /ight hi% ? elation%---To Coheire%%e% hi% Co%in%, and an old

? .nt, that love% Catteraling better than a Conventi!le ?

it.

#a, ha, haA had a ind to %ee ho the oge ? 00 od !ome off---#a, ha, haA ad !ant be

angry ith ? himA if he %aid they ere my other and my 4i%ter% ?

!ira.

=oH ?

&age 1>

it.

=oA the oge% Wit and eadine%% of nvention ? !harm me, dear etulant ?

ett/.

They are gone 4ir, in great .nger ?

et.

2



$nogh, let em trndle .nger hel+% Com+le*ion, ? %ave% &aint ?

+ain.

Thi% Continen!e i% all di%%embledA thi% i% in order ? to have %omething to brag of the ne*t time he

ma"e% Cort ? to !illamant , and %ear he ha% abandond the hole 4e* ? for her 4a"e ?

!ira.

#ave yo not left off yor im+dent &reten%ion% ? there yet@ %hall !t yor Throat, %ometime or

other etulant , ? abot that <%ine%% ?

et.

.y, ay, let that +a%%---There are other Throat% ? to be !t--- ?

!ira.

eaning mine, 4ir@ ?

et.

=ot --- mean no <ody--- "no nothing--- ? <t there are Jn!le% and =e+he% in the World---.nd

? they may be ival%---What then@ .ll% one for that--- ?

!ira.

#oH hear"ee etulant , !ome hither---$*+lain, ? or %hall !all yor nter+reter ?

et.

$*+lain, "no nothing---Why yo have an ? Jn!le, have yo not, lately !ome to Ton, lodge% by

? 2E my /ady ish)orts@ ?

!ira.

Tre ?

2E



et.

Why that% enogh---Bo and he are not riend%A ? and if he %hod marry and have a Child, yo may

be di%inherited, ? ha@ ?

!ira.

Where ha%t tho %tmbled +on all thi% Trth@ ?

et.

.ll% one for thatA hy then %ay "no %omething ?

!ira.

Come, tho art an hone%t ello etulant , and ? %halt ma"e /ove to my i%tre%%, tho %hat, aith

What ? ha%t tho heard of my Jn!le@ ?

et.

, nothing f Throat% are to be !t, let 4ord% ? !la%hA %ng% the Word, %hrg and am %ilent ?

!ira.

F aillery, aillery Come, "no tho art in ? the Women% 4e!ret%---What yore a Cabali%t,

"no ? yo %aid at !illamant % la%t =ight, after ent Wa% ?

&age 1

there any mention made of my Jn!le, or me@ Tell meA if ? tho had%t bt good =atre eDal to thy

Wit etulant , ? &on/ it*oud , ho i% no thy Com+etitor in ame, od ? %he a% dim by thee a%

a dead Whiting% $ye, by a &earl ? of FrientA he od no more be %een by thee, then !ercur/ ? i% by

the 4n: Come, m %re tho ot tell me ?

et.

f do, ill yo grant me !ommon 4en%e then, for ? the ftre@ ?

26



!ira.

aith ll do hat !an for theeA and ll +ray that ? #eavn may grant it thee in the mean time ?

et.

E0 Well, hear"ee ?

+ain.

etulant and yo both ill find !ira#ell a% arm a ? ival a% a /over ?

it.

&%ha, +%ha, that %he lagh% at etulant i% +lain ? .nd for my +art---<t that it i% almo%t a a%hion

to admire ? her, %hod---#ear"ee---To tell yo a 4e!ret, bt ? let it go no frther---<eteen

riend%, %hall never brea" ? my #eart for her ?

+ain.

#oH ?

it.

4he% hand%omeA bt %he% a %ort of an n!ertain ? Woman ?

+ain.

thoght yo had dyd for her ?

it.

Jmh---=o--- ?

+ain.

27



4he ha% Wit ?

it.

Ti% hat %he ill hardly allo any <ody el%eA--- ? =o, 'emme, %hond hate that, if %he ere a%

hand%ome ? a% 3leopatra. !ira#ell i% not %o %re of her a% he thin"% ? for ?

+ain.

Why do yo thin" %o@ ?

it.

We %taid +retty late there la%t =ightA and heard ? %omething of an Jn!le to !ira#ell , ho i% lately

!ome to ? Ton,---and i% beteen him and the be%t +art of hi% $%tateA ? !ira#ell and he are at %ome

di%tan!e, a% my /ady ish)ort ? ha% been toldA and yo "no %he hate% !ira#ell , or%e than ? a

Ka"er hate% a &arrot: Fr then a i%hmonger hate% a ? 7E hard ro%t Whether thi% Jn!le ha% %een

r% !illamant or ? not, !annot %ayA bt there ere tem% of %!h a Treaty ? being in $mbrioA and

if it %hod !ome to /ifeA +oor ?

&age 1E

!ira#ell od be in %ome %ort nfortnately fobbd ? ifaith ?

+ain.

Ti% im+o%%ible !illamant %hold hear"en to it ?

it.

aith, my 'ear, !ant tellA %he% a Woman and ? a "ind of a #mori%t ?

!ira.

.nd thi% i% the 4m of hat yo !od !olle!t la%t ? =ight ?

et.

The Kinte%%en!e ay be it*oud "no% more, ? he %tayd longer---<e%ide% they never mind himA

they ? %ay any thing before him ?

28



!ira.

thoght yo had been the greate%t avorite ?

et.

.y teste a testeA <t not in +bli!", be!a%e ma"e ? emar"% ?

!ira.

'o yo ?

et.

.y, ay, +o* m mali!io%, an =o he% %oft ? yo "no, they are not in ae of him---The ello%

? ell bred, he% hat yo !all a---What-dee-!all-em . fine ? entleman, bt he% %illy ithal ?

!ira.

than" yo, "no a% m!h a% my Crio%ity ? reDire% +ainall , are yo for the !all @ ?

+ain.

.y, ll ta"e a trn before 'inner ?

it.

.y, ell all al" in the &ar", the /adie% tal"d of ? E00 being there ?

!ira.

thoght yo ere obligd to at!h for yor <rother ? 4ir il)ull % arrival ?

it.

29



=o, no, he !ome% to hi% .nt%, my /ady ish)ort A ? +o* on him, %hall be trobled ith him tooA

hat %hall ? do ith the ool@ ?

et.

<eg him for hi% $%tateA that may beg yo afterard%A ? and %o have bt one Troble ith yo both

?

it.

F rare etulant A tho art a% Di!" a% a ire in a ? fro%ty orningA tho %halt to the !all ith %A and

ell ? be very %evere ?

et.

$nogh, m in a #mor to be %evere ?

!ira.

.re yo@ &ray then al" by yor %elve%,--- ? /et not % be a!!e%%ary to yor +tting the /adie% ot of

? Contenan!e, ith yor %en%ele%% ibaldryA hi!h yo ? roar ot alod a% often a% they +a%% byyoA and hen yo ?

&age 16

have made a hand%ome Woman bl%h, then yo thin" yo ? have been %evere ?

et.

What, hat@ Then let em either %he their nno!en!e ? by not nder%tanding hat they hear, or el%e

%he ? their 'i%!retion by not hearing hat they old not be ? thoght to nder%tand ?

!ira.

<t ha%t not tho then 4en%e enogh to "no that ? tho oght%t to be mo%t a%hamd thy 4elf, hen

tho ha%t ? +t another ot of Contenan!e ?

et.

E2E =ot , by thi% #and--- alay% ta"e bl%hing ? either for a 4ign of ilt, or ill <reeding ?

>0



!ira.

!onfe%% yo oght to thin" %o Bo are in the ? right, that yo may +lead the error of yor 5dgment

in ? defen!e of yor &ra!ti!e ?

here !odest/s ill !anners, tis #ut )it

&hat "mpudence and !alice, pass )or it.

C(<eunt.

&age 17

CT 55%

/C'3' 5%

St. @amess ar.

(nter !rs. +ainall and !rs. !ar*ood.

r% +ain.

.y, ay, dear !ar*ood , if e ill be ha++y, ? e m%t find the mean% in or %elve%, and ? among or

%elve% en are ever in $*tream%A either doating ? or aver%e While they are /over%, if they have ire

? and 4en%e, their 5ealo%ie% are in%++ortable: .nd hen ? they !ea%e to /ove, (e oght to thin" at

lea%t) they loathA ? they loo" +on % ith #orror and 'i%ta%teA they meet % ? li"e the ho%t% of

hat e ere, and a% %!h fly from % ?

r% !ar.

Tre, ti% an nha++y Cir!m%tan!e of /ife, ? that /ove %hod ever die before %A and that the an %o

? often %hod ot-live the /over <t %ay hat yo ill, ? ti% better to be left, than never to have

been lovd To ? +a%% or Both in dll ndifferen!e, to ref%e the 4eet% of ? /ife be!a%e they on!e

m%t leave %A i% a% +re+o%tero%, a% ? to i%h to have been born Fld, be!a%e e one 'ay m%t be ?

Fld or my +art, my Both may ear and a%te, bt it ? %hall never r%t in my &o%%e%%ion ?

r% +ain.

>1



Then it %eem% yo di%%emble an .ver%ion to ? an"ind, only in !om+lian!e ith my other%

#mor ?

r% !ar.

Certainly To be freeA have no Ta%te of ? tho%e in%i+id dry 'i%!or%e%, ith hi!h or 4e* of for!e

? m%t entertain them%elve%, a+art from en We may affe!t ? $ndearment% to ea!h other, +rofe%%

eternal riend%hi+%, ? and %eem to doat li"e /over%A bt ti% not in or =atre% ? 2E long to

+er%evere /ove ill re%me hi% $m+ire in or ? <rea%t%, and every #eart, or %oon or late, re!eive and

readmit ? him a% it% lafl Tyrant ?

r% +ain.

<le%% me, ho have been de!eivdH Why ? yo +rofe%% a /ibertine ?

&age 18

r% !ar.

Bo %ee my riend%hi+ by my reedom Come, ? be a% %in!ere, a!"noledge that yor 4entiment%

agree ith ? mine ?

r% +ain.

=ever ?

r% !ar.

Bo hate an"ind ?

r% +ain.

#eartily, nveterately ?

r% !ar.

Bor #%band ?

>2



r% +ain.

o%t tran%!endantlyA ay, tho %ay it, meritorio%ly ?

r% !ar.

ive me yor #and +on it ?

r% +ain.

There ?

r% !ar.

3oin ith yoA hat have %aid, ha% been ? to try yo ?

r% +ain.

% it +o%%ible@ 'o%t tho hate tho%e Gi+er% ? en@ ?

r% !ar.

have done hating emA and am no !ome to ? de%+i%e emA the ne*t thing have to do, i% eternally to

forget ? em ?

r% +ain.

There %+o"e the 4+irit of an Ama8on, a enthesilea ?

r% !ar.

.nd yet am thin"ing %ometime%, to !arry ? my .ver%ion frther ?

r% +ain.

>>



r% !ar.

<e!a%e hate him ?

&age 19

r% +ain.

4o do A bt !an hear him namd <t hat ? ea%on have yo to hate him in +arti!lar@ ?

r% !ar.

never lovd himA he i%, and alay% a% in%fferably ? +rod ?

r% +ain.

<y the ea%on yo give for yor .ver%ion, ? one od thin" it di%%embldA for yo have laid a alt

to ? hi% Charge, of hi!h hi% $nemie% m%t a!Dit him ?

r% !ar.

F then it %eem% yo are one of hi% favorable ? 7E $nemie% ethin"% yo loo" a little +ale, and

no yo ? fl%h again ?

r% +ain.

'o @ thin" am a little %i!" o the %ddain ?

r% !ar.

What ail% yo@ ?

r% +ain.

y #%band 'ont yo %ee him@ #e ? trnd %hort +on me naare%, and ha% almo%t over!ome me

?

>E



+ain.

F my 'ear am %ati%fyd of yor Tenderne%%A ? "no yo !annot re%ent any thing from meA

e%+e!ially hat ? i% an effe!t of my Con!ern ?

r% +ain.

r !ira#ell A my other interr+ted yo in ? a +lea%ant elation la%t =ight: od fain hear it ot

?

!ira.

The &er%on% !on!ernd in that .ffair, have yet a ? tollerable e+tation--- am afraid r +ainall ill

be ? Cen%orio% ?

r% +ain.

#e ha% a #mor more +revailing than hi% Crio%ity, ? and ill illingly di%+en!e ith the hearing

of one ? 100 %!andalo% 4tory, to avoid giving an o!!a%ion to ma"e another ?

&age 20 by being %een to al" ith hi% Wife Thi% ay r ? !ira#ell , and dare +romi%e yo ill oblige %

both ?

C(<eunt !rs. +ainall and !ira#ell.

+ain.

$*!ellent CreatreH Well %re if %hod live to be ? rid of my Wife, %hod be a mi%erable an ?

r% !ar.

.yH ?

+ain.

or having only that one #o+e, the a!!om+li%hment ? of it, of Con%eDen!e m%t +t an end to all my

ho+e%A ? and hat a Wret!h i% he ho m%t %rvive hi% ho+e%H =othing ? remain% hen that 'ay

!ome%, bt to %it don and ? ee+ li"e Ale<ander , hen he anted other World% to ? !onDer ?

>7



r% !ar.

Will yo not follo em@ ?

+ain.

aith, thin" not ?

r% !ar.

&ray let %A have a ea%on ?

+ain.

Bo are not 5ealo%@ ?

r% !ar.

Ff hom@ ?

+ain.

Ff !ira#ell ?

r% !ar.

f am, i% it in!on%i%tent ith my /ove to ? yo that am tender of yor #onor@ ?

+ain.

Bo od intimate then, a% if there ere a )ello*-)eelin ? beteen my Wife and #im ?

r% !ar.

thin" %he do% not hate him to that degree ? %he od be thoght ?

>8



+ain.

<t he, fear, i% too n%en%ible ?

r% !ar.

12E t may be yo are de!eivd ?

+ain.

t may be %o do no begin to a++rehend it ?

r% !ar.

What@ ?

+ain.

That have been de!eivd adam, and yo are fal%e ?

r% !ar.

That am fal%eH What mean yo@ ?

+ain.

To let yo "no %ee throgh all yor little .rt%--- ? Come, yo both love himA and both have

eDally di%%embld ? yor .ver%ion Bor mtal 5ealo%ie% of one another, ? have made yo !la%h

till yo have both %tr!" ire ? have %een the arm Confe%%ion redning on yor Chee"%, ? and

%+ar"ling from yor $ye% ?

r% !ar.

Bo do me rong ?

>9



+ain.

do not---Ta% for my ea%e to over%ee and ilflly ?

&age 21

negle!t the gro%% advan!e% made him by my WifeA ? that by +ermitting her to be engagd, might!ontine ? n%%+e!ted in my &lea%re%A and ta"e yo oftner to my ? .rm% in fll 4e!rity <t !od

yo thin" be!a%e the ? nodding #%band old not a"e, that eer the at!hfl ? /over %le+tH ?

r% !ar.

.nd hereithal !an yo re+roa!h me@ ?

+ain.

With nfidelity, ith loving of another, ith ? love of !ira#ell ?

r% !ar.

Ti% fal%e !hallenge yo to %he an n%tan!e ? that !an !onfirm yor grondle%% .!!%ation hate

him ?

+ain.

.nd herefore do yo hate him@ #e i% n%en%ible, ? 1E0 and yor e%entment follo% hi% =egle!t

.n n%tan!e@ ? The n3rie% yo have done him are a +roof: Bor inter+o%ing ? in hi% /ove What

!a%e had yo to ma"e 'i%!overie% ? of hi% +retended &a%%ion@ To nde!eive the !redlo% ? .nt,

and be the offi!io% Fb%ta!le of hi% at!h ith ? !illamant= ?

r% !ar.

y Fbligation% to my /ady rgd me: had ? +rofe%%d a riend%hi+ to herA and !old not %ee her

ea%ie ? =atre %o ab%d by that 'i%%embler ?

+ain.

What, a% it Con%!ien!e thenH +rofe%%d a riend%hi+H ? F the +io% riend%hi+% of the emale 4e*H

?

0



r% !ar.

ore tender, more %in!ere, and more endring, ? than all the vain and em+ty Go% of en, hether

? +rofe%%ing /ove to %, or mtal aith to one another ?

+ain.

#a, ha, haA yo are my Wife% riend too ?

r% !ar.

4hame and ngratitdeH 'o yo re+roa!h me@ ? Bo, yo +braid meH #ave been fal%e to her, thro%tri!t ? idelity to yo, and %a!rifi!d my riend%hi+ to "ee+ my ? /ove inviolate@ .nd have yo the

ba%ene%% to !harge me ? ith the ilt, nmindfl of the eritH To yo it %hod ? be meritorio%,

that have been vi!io% .nd do yo refle!t ? that ilt +on me, hi!h %hold lie bried in yor ?

<o%om@ ?

+ain.

Bo mi%inter+ret my e+roof meant bt to remind ? yo of the %light .!!ont yo on!e !old ma"e

of ? 17E %tri!te%t Tie%, hen %et in Com+etion ith yor /ove to me ?

&age 22

r% !ar.

Ti% fal%e, yo rgd it ith deliberate ali!e--- ? T a% %+o"e in %!orn, and never ill forgive it ?

+ain.

Bor ilt, not yor e%entment, beget% yor age ? f yet yo lovd, yo !old forgive a 5ealo%y:

<t yo ? are %tng to find yo are di%!overd ?

r% !ar.

t %hall be all di%!overd Bo too %hall be ? di%!overdA be %re yo %hall !an bt be e*+o%d---f ?

do it my %elf %hall +revent yor <a%ene%% ?

1



+ain.

Why, hat ill yo do@ ?

r% !ar.

'i%!lo%e it to yor WifeA on hat ha% +a%t ? beteen % ?

+ain.

renLyH ?

r% !ar.

<y all my Wrong% ll dot---ll +bli%h to ? the World the n3rie% yo have done me, both in my

ame ? and ortne: With both tr%ted yo, yo <an"r+t in ? #onor, a% indigent of Wealth ?

+ain.

Bor ame have +re%ervd Bor ortne ha% ? been be%tod a% the +rodigality of yor /ove old

have it, ? in &lea%re% hi!h e both have %hard Bet had not yo ? been fal%e, had eer thi% re+aid

it---Ti% tre---#ad yo ? +ermitted !ira#ell ith !illamant to have %tolln their arriage, ? my

/ady had been in!en%d beyond all mean% of re!on!ilement: ? !illamant had forfeited the oiety of

her ortneA ? hi!h then od have de%!ended to my WifeA--- ? 200 .nd herefore did marry,

bt to ma"e lafl &riLe of a ? ri!h Wido% Wealth, and %Dander it on /ove and yo@ ?

r% !ar.

'e!eit and frivolo% &reten!e ?

+ain.

'eath, am not married@ hat% +reten!e@ .m ? not m+ri%ond, etterd@ #ave not a Wife@ =ay a

Wife ? that a% a Wido, a yong Wido, a hand%ome WidoA ? and old be again a Wido, bt

that have a #eart of ? &roof, and %omething of a Con%tittion to b%tle thro the ? ay% of Wedlo!"

and thi% World Will yo yet be re!on!ild ? to Trth and me@ ?

2



r% !ar.

m+o%%ible Trth and yo are in!on%i%tent--- ? hate yo, and %hall for ever ?

+ain.

or loving yo@ ?

r% !ar.

loath the name of /ove after %!h %ageA ?

&age 2>

and ne*t to the ilt ith hi!h yo od a%+er%e me, ? %!orn yo mo%t areell ?

+ain.

=ay, e m%t not +art th% ?

r% !ar.

/et me go ?

+ain.

Come, m %orry ?

r% !ar.

!are not---/et me go---<rea" my #and%, ? do---d leave em to get loo%e ?

+ain.

old not hrt yo for the World #ave no ? other #old to "ee+ yo here@ ?

>



r% !ar.

Well, have de%ervd it all ?

+ain.

Bo "no love yo ?

r% !ar.

22E &oor di%%emblingH---F that---Well, it i% ? not yet--- ?

+ain.

What@ hat i% it not@ What i% it not yet@ t i% ? not yet too late--- ?

r% !ar.

=o, it i% not yet too late--- have that Comfort ?

+ain.

t i% to love another ?

r% !ar.

<t not to loath, dete%t, abhor an"ind, my ? %elf and the hole trea!hero% World ?

+ain.

=ay, thi% i% $*travagan!e---Come a%" yor ? &ardon---=o Tear%--- a% to blame, !od not love

? yo and be ea%ie in my 'obt%---&ray forbear--- believe ? yoA m !onvin!d ve done yo

rongA and any ? ay, every ay ill ma"e amend%A---ll hate my Wife ? yet more, 'am her, ll

+art ith her, rob her of all %he% ? orth, and ill retire %omehere, any here to another ? World,ll marry thee---<e +a!ifyd---4death they !ome, ? hide yor a!e, yor Tear%---Bo have a a%",

ear it a ? oment Thi% ay, thi% ay, be +er%aded ?



C(<eunt.

(nter !ira#ell and !rs. +ainall.

r% +ain.

They are here yet ?

!ira.

They are trning into the other Wal" ?

r% +ain.

While only hated my #%band, !old ? bear to %ee himA bt %in!e have de%+i%d him, he% too ?

offen%ive ?

&age 2

!ira.

F yo %hold #ate ith &rden!e ?

r% +ain.

Be%, for have /ovd ith ndi%!retion ?

!ira.

2E0 Bo %hod have 3%t %o m!h di%g%t for yor ? #%band, a% may be %ffi!ient to ma"e yo

reli%h yor ? /over ?

r% +ain.

Bo have been the !a%e that have lovd ? ithot <ond%, and od yo %et /imit% to that.ver%ion, ? of hi!h yo have been the o!!a%ion@ Why did yo ? ma"e me marry thi% an@ ?

E



Who@ ?

!ira., ait*ell and +oi#le

od not tem+t my 4ervant ? to betray me by tr%ting him too far f yor other, ? in ho+e% to

rin me, %hod !on%ent to marry my +retended ?

&age 2E

Jn!le, he might li"e !osca in the +o<, %tand +on Term%A ? %o made him %re before-hand ?

r% +ain.

4o, if my +oor other i% !aght in a Contra!t, ? yo ill di%!over the m+o%tre betime%A and relea%e

? her by +rod!ing a !ertifi!ate of her allant% former ? arriage ?

!ira.

Be%, +on Condition %he !on%ent to my arriage ? ith her =ie!e, and %rrender the oiety of her

ortne ? in her &o%%e%%ion ?

r% +ain.

4he tal"d la%t =ight of endeavoring at a ? at!h beteen !illamant and yor Jn!le ?

!ira.

That a% by +oi#le% 'ire!tion, and my n%tr!tion% ? that %he might %eem to !arry it more +rivately

?

r% +ain.

Well, have an F+inion of yor 4!!e%%A for ? >00 believe my /ady ill do any thing to get a

#%bandA and ? hen %he ha% thi%, hi!h yo have +rovided for her, %++o%e ? %he ill %bmit to

any thing to get rid of him ?

!ira.

Be%, thin" the good /ady od marry any ? Thing that re%embld a an, tho tere no more than ?

hat a <tler !od +in!h ot of a =a+"in ?

7



!illa.

F have denyd my %elf .ir% to 'ay have ? >2E al"d a% fa%t throgh the Cro--- ?

it.

.% a avorite in di%gra!eA and ith a% fe olloer% ?

!illa.

'ear r it*oud , tr!e ith yor 4imilitde%: ? or am a% %i!" of em--- ?

it.

.% a &hi%i!ian of a good .ir--- !annot hel+ it ? adam, tho ti% again%t my %elf ?

!illa.

Bet againH !incin , %tand beteen me and hi% ? Wit ?

it.

'o r% !incin , li"e a 4"reen before a great ire ? !onfe%% do blaLe to 'ay, am too bright ?

r% +ain.

<t dear !illamant , hy ere yo %o long@ ?

!illa.

/ongH /ord, have not made violent ha%te@ ? have a%"d every living Thing met for yoA have

enDird ? after yo, a% after a ne a%hion ?

it.

9



adam, tr!e ith yor 4imilitde%---=o, yo ? met her #%band and did not a%" him for her ?

!ira.

<y yor leave it*oud , that ere li"e enDiring ? after an old a%hion, to a%" a #%band for hi%

Wife ?

it.

#m, a hit, a hit, a +al+able hit, !onfe%% it ?

r% +ain.

Bo ere dre%%d before !ame abroad ?

!illa.

.y, that% tre---F bt then had--- !incin ? hat had @ Why a% %o long@ ?

!inc.

F em, yor /a%hi+ %taid to +er%e a &e!Det of ? /etter% ?

!illa.

F ay, /etter%--- had /etter%--- am +er%e!ted ? >E0 ith /etter%--- hate /etter%---=o <ody "no%

ho to ? rite /etter%A and yet one ha% em, one doe% not "no ? hy---They %erve one to +in +

one% #air ?

it.

% that the ay@ &ray adam, do yo +in + yor ? #air ith all yor /etter%@ find m%t "ee+

Co+ie% ?

!illa.

E0



Fnly ith tho%e in Ger%e, r it*oud never ? +in + my #air ith &ro%e fan!y one% #air od

not ? !rl if it ere +innd + ith &ro%e thin" tryd on!e ? !incin ?

!inc.

F em, %hall never forget it ?

&age 27

!illa.

.y, +oor !incin ti%t and ti%t all the morning ?

!inc.

Till had the Crem+ in my inger% ll vo em ? .nd all to no +r+o%e <t hen yor /a%hi+

+in% it + ? ith &oetry, it %it% %o +lea%ant the ne*t 'ay a% any Thing, ? and i% %o +re and %o !ri+% ?

it.

ndeed, %o !ri+%@ ?

!inc.

Bore %!h a Criti!", r ti*oud ?

!illa.

!ira#ell , 'id not yo ta"e $*!e+tion% la%t =ight@ ? F ay, and ent aay---=o thin" ont m

angry--- ? =o, no thin" ont m +lea%d---or believe gave ? yo %ome &ain ?

!ira.

'o% that +lea%e yo@ ?

!illa.

E1



nfinitelyA love to give &ain ?

!ira.

Bo od affe!t a Crelty hi!h i% not in yor ? =atreA yor tre Ganity i% in the +oer of +lea%ing

?

!illa.

>7E F a%" yor &ardon for that---Fne% Crelty i% ? one% &oer, and hen one +art% ith one%

Crelty, one ? +art% ith one% &oerA and hen one ha% +arted ith that, ? fan!y one% Fld and

Jgly ?

!ira.

.y, ay, %ffer yor Crelty to rin the ob3e!t of ? yor &oer, to de%troy yor /over---.nd then ho

vain ? ho lo%t a Thing yoll beH =ay, ti% tre: Bo are no ? longer hand%ome hen yove lo%t yor

/overA yor <eaty ? die% +on the n%tant: or <eaty i% the /over% iftA ti% he ? be%to% yor

Charm%---Bor la%% i% all a Cheat The ? Jgly and the Fld, hom the /oo"ing-gla%% mortifie%, yet

? after Commendation !an be flatterd by it, and di%!over ? <eatie% in it: or that refle!t% or

&rai%e%, rather than ? yor a!e ?

!illa.

F the Ganity of the%e enH +ainall , dee hear him@ ? f they did not !ommend %, e ere not

hand%omeH =o ? yo m%t "no they !old not !ommend one, if one a% ? not hand%ome <eaty

the /over% ift---/ord, hat ? i% a /over, that it !an give@ Why one ma"e% /over% a% fa%t ? a% one

+lea%e%, and they live a% long a% one +lea%e%, and they ? die a% %oon a% one +lea%e%: .nd then if one

+lea%e%, one ? ma"e% more ?

it.

Gery +retty Why yo ma"e no more of ma"ing ?

&age 28

of /over%, adam, than of ma"ing %o many Card-mat!he% ?

!illa.

Fne no more oe% one% <eaty to a /over, than ? 00 one% Wit to an $!!ho: They !an bt refle!t

hat e loo" ? and %ayA vain em+ty Thing% if e are %ilent or n%een, and ? ant a being ?

E2



!ira.

Bet to tho%e to vain em+ty Thing%, yo oe to ? the greate%t &lea%re% of yor /ife ?

!illa.

#o %o@ ?

!ira.

To yor /over yo oe the +lea%re of hearing ? yor %elve% +rai%dA and to an $!!ho the +lea%re of

hearing ? yor %elve% tal" ?

it.

<t "no a /ady that love% tal"ing %o in!e%%antly, ? %he ont give an $!!ho fair +layA %he ha% that

everla%ting ? otation of Tonge, that an $!!ho m%t ait till %he die%, ? before it !an !at!h her la%t

Word% ?

!illa.

F i!tionA +ainall , let % leave the%e en ?

!ira.

'ra off it*oud ?

CAside to !rs. +ainall.

r% +ain.

mmediatelyA have a Word or to for ? r it*oud ?

!ira.

od beg a little +rivate .dien!e too--- ?

C(<it it*oud and !rs. +ainall.

E>



Bo had the Tyranny to deny me la%t =ightA tho yo ? "ne !ame to im+art a 4e!ret to yo, that

!on!ernd my ? /ove ?

!illa.

Bo %a a% engagd ?

!ira.

Jn"ind Bo had the lei%re to entertain a #erd ? of ool%A Thing% ho vi%it yo from their e*!e%%ive

dlene%%A ? be%toing on yor ea%ine%% that time, hi!h i% the ? 2E in!mbran!e of their /ive%

#o !an yo find delight ? in %!h 4o!iety@ t i% im+o%%ible they %hold admire yo, ? they are not

!a+able: Fr if they ere, it %hod be to yo ? a% a ortifi!ationA for %re to +lea%e a ool i% %ome

degree ? of olly ?

!illa.

+lea%e my %elf---<e%ide% %ometime% to !onver%e ? ith ool%, i% for my #ealth ?

!ira.

Bor #ealthH % there a or%e 'i%ea%e then the ? Conver%ation of ool%@ ?

!illa.

Be%, the Ga+or%A ool% are &hy%i!" for it, ne*t ? to Assa-)atida ?

&age 29

!ira.

Bo are not in a Cor%e of ool%@ ?

!illa.

!ira#ell , f yo +er%i%t in thi% offen%ive reedom--- ? Boll di%+lea%e me--- thin" m%t re%olve

after all, not ? to have yo---We %hant agree ?

E



!ira.

=ot in or &hy%i!" it may be ?

!illa.

.nd yet or 'i%tem+er in all li"elihood ill be the ? %ameA for e %hall be %i!" of one another

%hant endre ? to be re+rimanded, nor in%tr!tedA ti% %o dll to a!t alay% ? by .dvi!e, and %o

tedio% to be told of one% alt%--- !ant ? bear it Well, ont have yo !ira#ell ---m re%olvd--- ?

thin"---Bo may go---#a, ha, ha What od yo ? give, that yo !od hel+ loving me@ ?

!ira.

old give %omething that yo did not "no, ? !od not hel+ it ?

!illa.

E0 Come, dont loo" grave then Well, hat do yo ? %ay to me@ ?

!ira.

%ay that a an may a% %oon ma"e a riend by ? hi% Wit, or a ortne by hi% #one%ty, a% in a

Woman ? ith +lain 'ealing and 4in!erity ?

!illa.

4ententio% !ira#ell H &rithee dont loo" ith that ? violent and infle*ible i%e a!e, li"e Solomon at

the dividing ? of the Child in an old Ta+e%try-hanging ?

!ira.

Bo are merry, adam, bt od +er%ade yo ? for one oment to be %erio% ?

!illa.

What, ith that a!e@ =o, if yo "ee+ yor ? Contenan!e, ti% im+o%%ible %hod hold mine Well,

after ? all, there i% %omething very moving in a love-%i!" a!e ? #a, ha, ha---Well ont lagh,

EE



dont be +eevi%h--- ? #eighoH =o ll be melan!holly, a% melan!holly a% a ? Wat!h-light Well

!ira#ell , f ever yo ill in me oe ? me no---=ay, if yo are %o tedio%, fare yo ellA--- ?

%ee they are al"ing aay ?

!ira.

Can yo not find in the variety of yor 'i%+o%ition ? one oment--- ?

!illa.

To hear yo tell me that +oi#le% married, and yor ? &lot li"e to %+eed---=o ?

!ira.

<t ho yo !ame to "no it--- ?

!illa.

Jnle%% by the hel+ of the 'evil yo !ant imagineA ?

&age >0 nle%% %he %hod tell me her %elf Whi!h of the to it ? 7E may have been, ill leave yo to

!on%iderA and hen yo ? have done thin"ing of thatA thin" of me ?

C(<it.

!ira.

have %omething more---one---Thin" of yoH ? To thin" of a Whirlind, tho tere in a Whirlind,

ere ? a Ca%e of more %teady Contem+lationA a very tranDility of ? ind and an%ion . ellothat live% in a Windmill, ha% ? not a more him%i!al 'elling than the #eart of a an that ? i%

lodgd in a Woman There i% no &oint of the Com+a%% to ? hi!h they !annot trn, and by hi!h they

are not trndA ? and by one a% ell a% anotherA for otion not ethod i% their ? F!!+ation To

"no thi%, and yet !ontine to be in /ove, ? i% to be made i%e from the 'i!tate% of ea%on, and yet

+er%evere ? to +lay the ool by the for!e of n%tin!t---F here ? !ome my +air of Trtle%---What,

billing %o %eetlyH % ? not alentine% 'ay over ith yo yet@ ?

(nter ait*ell and +oi#le.

4irrah, ait*ell , hy %re yo thin" yo ere married for ? yor on e!reation, and not for my

Convenien!y ?

E6



ait.

Bor &ardon, 4ir With 4bmi%%ion, e have indeed ? been %ola!ing in lafl 'elight%A bt %till ith

an $ye ? to <%ine%%, 4ir have in%tr!ted her a% ell a% !od f ? %he !an ta"e yor 'ire!tion% a%

readily a% my n%tr!tion%, ? 4ir, yor .ffair% are in a +ro%+ero% ay ?

!ira.

ive yo 5oy, r% +oi#le ?

+oi#.

F la% 4ir, m %o a%hamd---m afraid my /ady ? ha% been in a tho%and nDietde% for me <t

+rote%t, ? E00 4ir, made a% m!h ha%te a% !old ?

ait.

That %he did indeed, 4ir t a% my alt that ? %he did not ma"e more ?

!ira.

That believe ?

+oi#.

<t told my /ady a% yo in%tr!ted me, 4ir That ? had a +ro%+e!t of %eeing 4ir 4o*land yor

Jn!leA and that ? od +t her /ady%hi+% &i!tre in my &o!"et to %he ? himA hi!h ll be %re

to %ay ha% made him %o enamord of ? her <eaty, that he brn% ith m+atien!e to lie at her ?

/ady%hi+% eet and or%hi+ the Friginal ?

&age >1

!ira.

$*!ellent +oi#leH atrimony ha% made yo eloDent ? in /ove ?

E7



ait.

thin" %he ha% +rofited, 4ir thin" %o ?

+oi#.

Bo have %een adam !illamant , 4ir@ ?

!ira.

Be% ?

+oi#.

told her 4ir, be!a%e did not "no that yo ? might find an F++ortnityA %he had %o m!h

Com+any ? la%t =ight ?

!ira.

Bor 'iligen!e ill merit more---n the mean ? time--- ?

C'ives !on/.

+oi#.

F dear 4ir, yor hmble 4ervant ?

ait.

4+o%e ?

!ira.

4tand off 4ir, not a &enny---o on and +ro%+er, ? +oi#le---The /ea%e %hall be made good and thearm ? %to!"d, if e %!!eed ?

E8



+oi#.

E2E dont De%tion yor enero%ity, 4ir: .nd yo ? need not dobt of 4!!e%% f yo have no more

Command% ? 4ir, ll be goneA m %re my /ady i% at her Toilet, and ? !ant dre%% till !ome---F

'ear, m %re that

CBooin out.

? a% r% !ar*ood that ent by in a a%"A if %he ha% %een ? me ith yo m %re %hell tell my

/ady ll ma"e ha%te ? home and +revent her Bor 4ervant 4ir <y ait*ell ?

C(<it +oi#le.

ait.

4ir 4o*land if yo +lea%e The 5ade% %o +ert +on ? her &referment %he forget% her %elf ?

!ira.

Come 4ir, ill yo endeavor to forget yor ? %elf---.nd tran%form into 4ir 4o*land ?

ait.

Why 4irA it ill be im+o%%ible %hod remember ? my %elf---arried, Inighted and attended all in

one 'ayH ? Ti% enogh to ma"e any an forget him%elf The 'iffi!lty ? ill be ho to re!over my

.!Daintan!e and amiliarity ? ith my former %elfA and fall from my Tran%formation ? to a

eformation into ait*ell =ay, %hant be Dite ? the %ame ait*ell neither---or no remember

me, ? am married, and !ant be my on an again ?

A/ theres the 'rie); thats the sad chane o) Bi)e;

&o lose m/ &itle, and /et eep m/ i)e.

C(<eunt.

&age >2

CT 555%

/C'3' 5%

A 4oom in Bad/ ish)orts House.

E9



Bad/ ish)ort at her &oilet, e *aitin.

Bad/.

*er#ifl, no =e% of +oi#le yet@ ?

e.

=o, adam ?

Bad/.

have no more +atien!e---f have not fretted ? my %elf till am +ale again, there% no Gera!ity in me

? et!h me the ed---The ed, do yo hear, 4eet-heart@ ? .n errant .%h !olor, a% m a &er%on

/oo" yo ho thi% ? Wen!h %tir%H Why do%t tho not fet!h me a little ed@ ? 'id%t tho not hear

me, o+%@ ?

e.

The red 4ati)ia doe% yor /ady%hi+ mean, or the ? Cherry <randy@ ?

Bad/.

4ati)ia, ool =o ool =ot the 4ati)ia ool--- ? rant me +atien!eH mean the Spanish &a+er diot,

Com+le*ion ? 'arling &aint, &aint, &aint, do%t tho nder%tand ? that, Changeling, dangling thy

#and% li"e <obbin% before ? thee Why do%t tho not %tir &++et@ tho ooden Thing ? +on Wire%

?

e.

/ord, adam, yor /ady%hi+ i% %o im+atient--- ? !annot !ome at the &aint, adamA r% +oi#le ha%

lo!"d ? it +, and !arryd the Iey ith her ?

Bad/.

. &o* ta"e yo both---et!h me the Chery-<randy ? then---C(<it e.D

m a% +ale and a% faint, ? loo" li"e r% Kalm%i!" the Crate% Wife, that% alay% ? breeding---

60



Wen!h, !ome, !ome, Wen!h, hat art tho ? doing, 4i++ing@ Ta%ting@ 4ave thee, do%t tho not "no

? 2E the <ottle@ ?

(nter e *ith a ottle and 3hina-cup.

e.

adam, a% loo"ing for a C+ ?

&age >>

Bad/.

. C+, %ave thee, and hat a C+ ha%t tho ? broghtH 'o%t tho ta"e me for a +air/, to drin" ot of

an ? Acorn@ Why did%t tho not bring thy Thimble@ #a%t tho ? neer a <ra%%-Thimble !lin"ing in

thy &o!"et ith a bit of ? =tmeg@ arrant thee Come, fill, fill---4o---again ? 4ee ho that i%---

COne nocsD

4et don the <ottle fir%t ? #ere, here, nder the Table---What od%t tho go ith ? the <ottle in

thy #and li"e a Ta+%ter .% m a &er%on, ? thi% Wen!h ha% livd in an nn +on the oad, before %he ?

!ame to me, li"e !aritorne% the Asturian in :on Qui<ote ? =o +oi#le yet@ ?

e.

=o adam, r% !ar*ood ?

Bad/.

F !ar*ood , let her !ome in Come in good !ar*ood ?

(nter !rs. !ar*ood.

r% !ar.

m %r+riLd to find yor /ady%hi+ in disha#ilie ? at thi% time of day ?

Bad/.

+oi#le% a lo%t ThingA ha% been abroad %in!e orning, ? and never heard of %in!e ?

61



r% !ar.

%a her bt no, a% !ame ma%"d throgh ? the &ar", in Conferen!e ith !ira#ell ?

Bad/.

With !ira#ell H Bo !all my <lood into my a!e, ? ith mentioning that Traytor 4he dr%t not have

the Confiden!e ? %ent her to =egotiate an .ffair, in hi!h if m ? dete!ted m ndone f that

headling Gillain ha% roght ? E0 +on +oi#le to dete!t me, m rind Fh my dear riend, ? m

a Wret!h of Wret!he% if m dete!ted ?

r% !ar.

F adam, yo !annot %%+e!t r% +oi#le% ? ntegrity ?

Bad/.

F, he !arrie% &oy%on in hi% Tonge that od ? !orr+t ntegrity it %elf f %he ha% given him an

F++ortnity, ? %he ha% a% good a% +t her ntegrity into hi% #and% ? .h dear !ar*ood , hat%

ntegrity to an F++ortnity@--- ? #ar"H hear her---o yo Thing and %end her in

C(<. e. ? 'ear riend retire into my Clo%et, that may e*amine her ? ith more freedom---Boll +ardon me

dear riend, ? !an ma"e bold ith yo---There are <oo"% over the Chimney ?

&age >

---Quarles and r/n, and the Short ie* o) the Stae, ith ? un/an% Wor"% to entertain yo ?

C(<it !ar*ood.

(nter +oi#le.

F +oi#le, here ha%t tho been@ What ha%t tho been doing@ ?

+oi#.

adam, have %een the &arty ?

Bad/.

<t hat ha%t tho done@ ?

62



+oi#.

=ay, ti% yor /ady%hi+ ha% done, and are to doA ? have only +romi%d <t a an %o enamord---4o

tran%+ortedH ? Well, here it i%, all that i% leftA all that i% not "i%%d ? aay---Well, if or%hi++ing of

&i!tre% be a 4in--- ? &oor 4ir 4o*land , %ay ?

Bad/.

The iniatre ha% been !onted li"e---<t ha%t ? tho not betrayd me, +oi#le@ #a%t tho not

dete!ted me to ? that faithle%% !ira#ell @---What had%t tho to do ith ? 7E him in the &ar"@

.n%er me, ha% he got nothing ot of thee@ ?

+oi#.

4o, the 'evil ha% been before hand ith me, hat ? %hall %[email protected]%, adam, !od hel+ it, if

met that ? !onfident Thing@ Wa% in alt@ f yo had heard ho ? he %d me, and all +on yor

/ady%hi+% .!!ont, m %re ? yo od not %%+e!t my idelity =ay, if that had been ? the or%t

!od have born: <t he had a ling at yor ? /ady%hi+ tooA and then !old not holdA <t faith

gave ? him hi% on ?

Bad/.

e@ What did the filthy ello %ay@ ?

+oi#.

F adamA ti% a %hame to %ay hat he %aid--- ? With hi% Tant% and hi% leer%, to%%ing + hi% =o%e

#mh ? (%ay% he) hat yo are a hat!hing %ome &lot (%ay% he) yo ? are %o early abroad, or Catering

(%ay% he) ferreting for %ome ? di%banded Fffi!er arrant---#alf &ay i% bt thin 4b%i%tan!e ? (%ay%

he)---Well, hat &en%ion doe% yor /ady ? +ro+o%e@ /et me %ee (%ay% he) hat %he m%t !ome don ? +retty dee+ no, %he% %+er-annated (%ay% he) and--- ?

Bad/.

Fd% my /ife, ll have him, ll have him mrderd ? ll have him +oy%ond Where doe% he eat@ ll

marry a ? 'raer to have him +oy%ond in hi% Wine ll %end for ? 4o#in from Bocets---

mmediately ?

&age >E

6>



+oi#.

&oy%on him@ &oy%oning% too good for him 4tarve ? him adam, %tarve him, marry 4ir 4o*land and

get him ? di%inherited F yo old ble%% yor %elf, to hear hat ? 100 he %aid ?

Bad/.

. Gillain, %+eranatedH ?

+oi#.

#mh (%ay% he) hear yo are laying 'e%ign% again%t ? me too (%ay% he), and r% !illamant i% tomarry my ? Jn!leA (he doe% not %%+e!t a Word of yor /ady%hi+A) bt ? (%ay% he) ll fit yo for that,

arrant yo (%ay% he) ll ? ham+er yo for that (%ay% he) yo and yor old ri++ery ? too (%ay% he)

ll handle yo--- ?

Bad/.

.da!io% GillainH handle me, od he dr%t--- ? ri++ery@ old ri++eryH Wa% there ever %!h a

fol-mothd ? ello@ ll be married to orro, ll be !ontra!ted ? to =ight ?

+oi#.

The %ooner the better, adam ?

Bad/.

Will 4ir 4o*land be here, %ay%t tho@ hen +oi#le@ ?

+oi#.

n!ontinently, adam =o ne 4heriff% Wife ? e*+e!t% the retrn of her #%band after Inighthood,

ith ? that m+atien!e in hi!h 4ir 4o*land brn% for the dear hor ? of "i%%ing yor /ady%hi+%

#and% after 'inner ?

Bad/.

6



ri++ery@ 4+erannated ri++eryH ll ri++ery ? the GillainA ll red!e him to ri++ery and ag%: .

Tatterdemallion ? --- ho+e to %ee him hng ith Tatter%, ? li"e a long /ane &ent-ho%e, or a ibbet-

thief . %lander ? mothd ailer: arrant the 4+endthrift &rodigal% in ? 'ebt a% m!h a% the

illion /ottery, or the hole Cort ? +on a <irth day ll %+oil hi% Credit ith hi% Taylor ? 12E

Be%, he %hall have my =ie!e ith her ortne, he %hall ?

+oi#.

#eH ho+e to %ee him lodge in Budate fir%t, and ? .ngle into lac +riers for <ra%% arthing%, ith

an old ? itten ?

Bad/.

.y dear +oi#leA than" thee for that dear +oi#le ? #e ha% +t me ot of all +atien!e %hall neverre!om+o%e ? my eatre%, to re!eive 4ir 4o*land ith any Fe!onomy of ? a!e Thi% Wret!h ha%

fretted me that am ab%oltely de!ayd ? /oo" +oi#le ?

&age >6

+oi#.

Bor /ady%hi+ ha% frond a little too ra%hly, indeed ? adam There are %ome Cra!"% di%!ernable inthe ? hite Gerni%h ?

Bad/.

/et me %ee the la%%---Cra!"%, %ay%t tho@ Why ? am arrantly flead--- loo" li"e an old +eeld Wall

Tho ? m%t re+air me +oi#le, before 4ir 4o*land !ome%A or %hall ? never "ee+ + to my &i!tre

?

+oi#.

arrant yo, adamA a little .rt on!e made ? yor &i!tre li"e yoA and no a little of the %ame

.rt, ? m%t ma"e yo li"e yor &i!tre Bor &i!tre m%t %it ? for yo, adam ?

Bad/.

<t art tho %re 4ir 4o*land ill not fail to !ome@ ? Fr ill a not fail hen he doe% !ome@ Will he

be m+ortnate ? +oi#le, and +%h@ or if he %hod not be m+ortnate ? --- %hall never brea"

'e!orm%--- %hall die ith ? Conf%ion, if am for!d to advan!e---Fh no, !an never ? 1E0

6E



advan!e--- %hall %oon if he %hod e*+e!t advan!e% ? =o, ho+e 4ir 4o*land i% better bred, than to

+t a /ady ? to the ne!e%%ity of brea"ing her orm% ont be too !oy ? neither--- ont give him

de%+air---<t a little 'i%dain ? i% not ami%%A a little 4!orn i% allring ?

+oi#.

. little 4!orn be!ome% yor /ady%hi+ ?

Bad/.

Be%, bt Tenderne%% be!ome% me be%t---. %ort of ? a dyingne%%---Bo %ee that &i!tre ha% a %ort of

a---#a ? +oi#le@ . %immine%% in the $ye%---Be%, ll loo" %o--- ? y =ie!e affe!t% itA bt %he ant%

eatre% % 4ir 4o*land ? hand%ome@ /et my Toilet be removd---ll dre%% ? above ll re!eive 4ir

4o*land here % he hand%ome@ ? 'ont an%er me ont "no: ll be %r+riLd ll ? be ta"en by4r+riLe ?

+oi#.

<y 4torm, adam 4ir 4o*land % a bri%" an ?

Bad/.

% heH F then hell m+ortne, if he% a bri%" an ? %hall %ave 'e!orm% if 4ir 4o*land im+ortne%

have a ? mortal Terror at the a++rehen%ion of offending again%t 'e!orm% ? =othing bt

m+ortnity !an %rmont 'e!orm% ? F m glad he% a bri%" an /et my Thing% be ? removd,

good +oi#le ?

C(<it.

&age >7

(nter !rs. +ainall.

r% +ain.

F +oi#le, have been in a right, lea%t ? %hod !ome too late That 'evil !ar*ood %a yo in the

? &ar" ith !ira#ell , and m afraid ill di%!over it to my /ady ?

+oi#.

66



'i%!over hat, adam@ ?

r% +ain.

17E =ay, nay, +t not on that %trange a!e ? am +rivy to the hole 'e%ign, and "no that

ait*ell , to ? hom tho ert thi% morning arried, i% to +er%onate ? !ira#ell % Jn!le, and a% %!h

inning my /ady, to involve ? her in tho%e 'iffi!ltie%, from hi!h !ira#ell only m%t relea%e ?

her, by hi% ma"ing hi% Condition% to have my Co%in ? and her ortne left to her on di%+o%al ?

+oi#.

F dear adam, beg yor &ardon t a% not my ? Confiden!e in yor /ady%hi+ that a% defi!ientA

bt ? thoght the former good Corre%+onden!e beteen yor /ady%hi+ ? and r !ira#ell , might

have hinderd hi% !ommni!ating ? thi% 4e!ret ?

r% +ain.

'ear +oi#le forget that ?

+oi#.

F dear adam, r !ira#ell i% %!h a %eet inning ? entleman---<t yor /ady%hi+ i% the &attern

of ? enero%ity---4eet /ady, to be %o goodH r !ira#ell ? !annot !h%e bt be gratefl find

yor /ady%hi+ ha% hi% ? #eart %till =o, adam, !an %afely tell yor /ady%hi+ ? or %!!e%%, r%

!ar*ood had told my /adyA bt arrant ? managd my %elf trnd it all for the better ? told

my /ady that r !ira#ell raild at her laid horrid ? Thing% to hi% !harge, ll voA and my /ady i%

%o in!en%d, ? that %hell be !ontra!ted to 4ir 4o*land to =ight, %he %ay%A--- ? arrant or"d her

+, that he may have her for a%"ing ? for, a% they %ay of a elch aiden-head ?

r% +ain.

200 F rare +oi#leH ?

+oi#.

adam, beg yor /ady%hi+ to a!Daint r !ira#ell ? of hi% %!!e%% od be %een a% little a%

+o%%ible to ? %+ea" to him,---be%ide%, believe adam !ar*ood at!he% ? me---4he ha% a onth%

mindA bt "no r !ira#ell ? !ant abide her---C(nter +ootman.D

@ohn---remove ? my /ady% Toilet adam yor 4ervant y /ady i% %o ? im+atient, fear %hell

!ome for me, if %tay ?

67



&age >8

r% +ain.

ll go ith yo + the ba!" 4tair%, left ? %hod meet her ?

C(<eunt.

(nter !rs. !ar*ood.

r% !ar.

ndeed r% $ngine, i% it th% ith yo@ .re ? yo be!ome a go-beteen of thi% m+ortan!e@ Be%,

%hall ? at!h yo Why thi% Wen!h i% the ass-par-tout , a very ? a%ter-Iey to every <odie% %trong

<o* y riend +ainall , ? have yo !arried it %o %immingly@ thoght there a% ? %omething in itA

bt it %eem% it% over ith yo Bor ? loathing i% not from a ant of .++etite then, bt from a ?

4rfeit $l%e yo !old never be %o !ool to fall from a &rin!i+al ? to be an .%%i%tantA to +ro!re for

himH . &attern of ? enero%ity, that !onfe%% Well, r +ainall , yo have ? met ith yor at!h---

F an, anH Woman, WomanH ? The 'evil% an .%%: f ere a &ainter, od ? dra him li"e an

diot, a 'riveler, ith a <ib and <ell% ? an %hod have hi% #ead and #orn%, and Woman the ? re%t

of him &oor %im+le iendH adam !ar*ood ha% a ? 22E onth% ind, bt he !ant abide

her---Tere better for ? him yo had not been hi% Confe%%or in that .ffairA ithot ? yo !od have

"e+t hi% Con%el !lo%er %hall not +rove ? another &attern of enero%ityA and %tal" for him, till he ?ta"e% hi% 4tand to aim at a ortneA he ha% not obligd me ? to that, ith tho%e $*!e%%e% of him%elfA

and no ll have ? none of him #ere !ome% the good /ady, +anting ri+eA ? ith a #eart fll of

#o+e, and a #ead fll of Care, li"e ? any Chymi%t +on the 'ay of &ro3e!tion ?

(nter Bad/ ish)ort.

Bad/.

F dear !ar*ood hat %hall %ay, for thi% rde forgetflne%% ? ---<t my dear riend i% all oodne%%

?

r% !ar.

=o .+ologie%, dear adam have been ? very ell entertained ?

Bad/.

68



.% m a &er%on am in a very Chao% to thin" ? %hod %o forget my %elf---<t have %!h an Flio

of .ffair% ? really "no not hat to do---

C3allsD

--- +oi#le--- ? e*+e!t my =e+he 4ir il)ull every moment too---Why ? +oi#le---#e mean% to

Travel for m+rovement ?

&age >9

r% !ar.

ethin"% 4ir il)ull %hold rather thin" of ? arrying than Travelling at hi% Bear% hear he i% trnd

? of orty ?

Bad/.

F he% in le%% 'anger of being %+oild by hi% Travel% ? --- am again%t my =e+he% marrying too

yong t ? ill be time enogh hen he !ome% ba!", and ha% a!Dird ? 'i%!retion to !hoo%e for

him%elf ?

r% !ar.

2E0 ethin"% r% !illamant and he od ma"e ? a very fit at!h #e may Travel afterard% Ti%a Thing ? very %al ith yong entlemen ?

Bad/.

+romi%e yo have thoght ont---.nd %in!e ? ti% yor 5dgment, ll thin" ont again a%%re yo

illA ? vale yor 5dgment e*treamly Fn my Word ll +ro+o%e ? it ?

(nter +oi#le.

Come, !ome +oi#le--- had forgot my =e+he ill be here ? before 'inner--- m%t ma"e ha%te ?

+oi#.

r it*oud and r etulant , are !ome to 'ine ? ith yor /ady%hi+ ?

Bad/.

F 'ear, !ant a++ear till m dre%%ld 'ear !ar*ood ? %hall be free ith yo again, and beg yo to

entertain ? em ll ma"e all imaginable ha%te 'ear riend e*!%e ? me ?

69



C(<it Bad/ and +oi#le.

(nter !rs. !illamant and !incin.

!illa.

4re never any thing a% %o Jnbred a% that odio% ? an--- !ar*ood , yor 4ervant ?

r% !ar.

Bo have a Color, hat% the matter@ ?

!illa.

That horrid ello etulant , ha% +rovo"d me into ? into a lame--- have bro"e my an--- !incin ,

lend me ? yor%A---% not all the &oder ot of my #air@ ?

r% !ar.

=o What ha% he done@ ?

!illa.

=ay, he ha% done nothingA he ha% only tal"d--- ? =ay, he ha% %aid nothing neitherA bt he ha%

!ontradi!ted ? every Thing that ha% been %aid or my +art, thoght ? 27E it*ood and he od

have Darrelld ?

&age 0

!inc.

vo em, thoght on!e they od have fit ?

!illa.

Well, ti% a lamentable thing ll %ear, that one ? ha% not the liberty of !hoo%ing one% .!Daintan!e,

a% one ? doe% one% Cloath% ?

70



r% !ar.

f e had the liberty, e %hod be a% eary ? of one 4et of .!Daintan!e, tho never %o good, a% e

are of ? one 4it, tho never %o fine . ool and a :oil/ 4tff od ? no and then find 'ay% of

ra!e, and be orn for variety ?

!illa.

!old !on%ent to ear em, if they od ear ali"eA ? bt ool% never ear ot---they are %!h

:rap-au#err/ ? Thing%H ithot one !od give em to one% Chambermaid ? after a day or to ?

r% !ar.

Tere better %o indeed Fr hat thin" yo ? of the &lay-ho%e@ . fine gay glo%%y ool, %hod be

given ? there, li"e a ne ma%"ing #abit, after the a%Derade i% over, ? and e have done ith the

'i%gi%e or a ool% Gi%it i% ? alay% a 'i%gi%eA and never admitted by a Woman of Wit, ? bt to

blind her .ffair ith a /over of 4en%e f yo od ? bt a++ear bare fa!d no, and on !ira#ell A

yo might a% ? ea%ily +t off etulant and it*oud , a% yor #ood and 4!arf ? .nd indeed ti% time,

for the Ton ha% fond it: The 4e!ret ? i% gron too big for the &reten!e: Ti% li"e r% riml/% ?

great <ellyA %he may la!e it don before, bt it brni%he% ? on her #i+% ndeed, !illamant , yo !an

no more ? >00 !on!eal it, then my /ady Strammel !an her a!e, that goodly ? a!e, hi!h in

defian!e of her heni%h-ine Tea, ill ? not be !om+rehended in a a%" ?

!illa.

ll ta"e my 'eath, !ar*ood , yo are more Cen%orio%, ? than a de!ayd <eaty, or a di%!arded To%tA

!incin , ? tell the en they may !ome + y .nt i% not dre%%ingA ? their olly i% le%% +rovo"ing

than yor alli!e, the ? Ton ha% fond it

C(<it. !incin.D

What ha% it ? fond@ That !ira#ell love% me i% no more a 4e!ret, than it ? i% a 4e!ret that yo

di%!overd it to my .nt, or than the ? ea%on hy yo di%!overd it i% a 4e!ret ?

r% !ar.

Bo are nettld ?

!illa.

Bor mi%ta"en idi!lo%H ?

71



&age 1

r% !ar.

ndeed my 'ear, yoll tear another an, if ? yo dont mitigate tho%e violent .ir% ?

!illa.

F %illyH #a, ha, ha !od lagh immoderately ? &oor !ira#ell H hi% Con%tan!y to me ha% Dite

de%troyd hi% ? Com+lai%an!e for all the World be%ide %ear, never en3oind ? it him, to be %o

!oy---f had the Ganity to thin" ? he od obey meA od !ommand him to %he more ?

allantry---Ti% hardly ell bred to be %o +arti!lar on ? one #and, and %o in%en%ible on the other <t

de%+air to ? +revail, and %o let him follo hi% on ay #a, ha, ha ? &ardon me, dear Creatre, m%t lagh, #a, ha, haA tho ? grant yo ti% a little barbaro%, #a, ha, ha ?

r% !ar.

>2E What +ity ti%, %o m!h fine aillery, and ? deliverd ith %o %ignifi!ant e%tre, %hod be %o

nha++ily ? dire!ted to mi%!arry ?

!illa.

#M@ 'ear Creatre a%" yor &ardon--- %ear ? did not mind yo ?

r% !ar.

r !ira#ell and yo both, may thin" it a ? Thing im+o%%ible, hen %hall tell him, by telling yo---

?

!illa.

F 'ear, hat@ for it i% the %ame thing, if hear ? it---#a, ha, ha ?

r% !ar.

That dete%t him, hate him, adam ?

72



!illa.

F adam, hy %o do ---.nd yet the Creatre ? love% me, #a, ha, ha #o !an one forbear laghing

to ? thin" of it--- am a 4ybil if am not amaLd to thin" hat ? he !an %ee in me ll ta"e my 'eath,

thin" yo are hand%omer ? ---.nd ithin a Bear or to a% yong--- ? f yo !od bt %tay for me,

%hod overta"e yo---<t ? that !annot be---Well, that Thoght ma"e% me elan!holly ? ---=o

ll be %ad ?

r% !ar.

Bor merry =ote may be !hangd %ooner ? than yo thin" ?

!illa.

'ee %ay %o@ Then m re%olvd ll have a 4ong to ? "ee+ + my 4+irit% ?

(nter !incin.

!inc.

The entlemen %tay bt to Comb, adamA and ? ill ait on yo ?

&age 2

!illa.

'e%ire r%---that i% in the ne*t oom to ? >E0 %ing the 4ong, od have learnt Be%terday Bo

%hall ? hear it adam---=ot that there% any great matter in ? it---<t ti% agreeable to my #mor ?

Set #/ !r. @ohn (ccles, and Sun #/ !rs. Hodson.

SO%'.

I&

7>



Loes #ut the )railt/ o) the !ind,

hen tis not *ith Am#ition Eoind;

A sicl/ +lame, *hich i) not )ed e<pires;

And )eedin, *asts in Sel)-consumin +ires.

II&

&is not to *ound a *anton o/

Or amrous Fouth, that ives the @o/;

ut tis the 'lor/ to have piercd a S*ain,

+or *hom in)eriour eauties sihd in vain.

III&

&hen " alone the 3on2uest pri8e

hen " insult a 4ivals (/es5

") theres :eliht in Bove, tis *hen " see

&hat Heart *hich others #leed )or, #leed )or me.

(nter etulant and it*oud.

!illa.

% yor .nimo%ity !om+o%d, entlemen@ ?

it.

aillery, aillery, adam, e have have no .nimo%ity ? ---We hit off a little Wit no and then, bt

no ?

&age >

.nimo%ity---The falling ot of Wit% i% li"e the falling ? ot of /over%---We agree in the main, li"e

Treble and ? <a%e #a, etulant H ?

et.

.y in the main---<t hen have a #mor to ? !ontradi!t ?

it.

7



.y, hen he ha% a #mor to !ontradi!t, then ? !ontradi!t too What, "no my Ce Then e

!ontradi!t ? >7E one another li"e to <attle-dore%: or Contradi!tion% ? beget one another li"e

@e*s ?

et.

f he %ay% <la!"% <la!"---f have a #mor to ? %ay ti% <le---/et that +a%%---.ll% one for that f

? have a #mor to +rove it, it m%t be granted ?

it.

=ot +o%itively m%t---<t it may---t may ?

et.

Be%, it +o%itively m%t, +on &roof +o%itive ?

it.

.y, +on &roof +o%itive it m%tA bt +on &roof ? +re%m+tive it only may That% a /ogi!al

'i%tin!tion ? no, adam ?

r% !ar.

+er!eive yor 'ebate% are of m+ortan!e ? and very learnedly handld ?

et.

m+ortan!e i% one Thing, and /earning% anotherA ? bt a 'ebate% a 'ebate, that a%%ert ?

it.

etulant % an $nemy to /earningA he relie% altogether ? on hi% &art% ?

et.

=o, m no $nemy to /earningA it hrt% not me ?

7E



r% !ar.

That% a 4ign indeed it% no $nemy to yo ?

et.

=o, no, it% no $nemy to any <ody, bt them that ? have it ?

!illa.

Well, an illiterate an% my .ver%ion onder ? at the m+den!e of any lliterate an, to offer to

ma"e ? /ove ?

it.

That !onfe%% onder at too ?

!illa.

.hH to marry an gnorantH that !an hardly ead ? 00 or Write ?

et.

Why %hod a an be ever the frther from being ? married tho he !ant ead, any more than he i%

from being ? #angd The Frdinary% +aid for %etting the salm, and ? the &ari%h-&rie%t for reading

the Ceremony .nd for the ?

&age

re%t hi!h i% to follo in both Ca%e%, a an may do it ithot ? <oo"---4o all% one for that ?

!illa.

'ee hear the Creatre@ /ord, here% Com+any, ? ll be gone ?

C(<eunt !illamant and !incin.

it.

76



n the =ame of artleme* and hi% air, hat have ? e here@ ?

r% !ar.

Ti% yor <rother, fan!y 'ont yo "no ? him@ ?

it.

=ot ---Be%, thin" it i% he---ve almo%t forgot ? himA have not %een him %in!e the evoltion ?

(nter Sir il)ull it*oud in a 3ountr/ 4idin Ha#it, and Servant to Bad/ ish)ort.

Serv.

4ir, my /ady% dre%%ing #ere% Com+anyA if ? yo +lea%e to al" in, in the mean time ?

4ir ill.

're%%ingH What it% bt orning here arrant ? ith yo in BondonA e %hod !ont it toard%

.fternoon ? in or &art%, don in Shropshire---Why then beli"e my ? .nt hant dind yet---#a,riend@ ?

Serv.

Bor .nt, 4ir@ ?

4ir ill.

y .nt 4ir, ye% my .nt 4ir, and yor /ady ? 4irA yor /ady i% my .nt, 4ir---Why, hat do%t tho

? not "no me, riend@ Why then %end 4omebody here that ? 2E doe% #o long ha%t tho livd

ith thy /ady, ello, haH ?

Serv.

. Wee", 4irA longer than any <ody in the #o%e, ? e*!e+t my /ady% Woman ?

77



4ir ill.

Why then beli"e tho do%t not "no thy /ady, ? if tho %ee%t her, ha riend@ ?

Serv.

Why trly 4ir, !annot %afely %ear to her a!e ? in a orning, before %he i% dre%%d Ti% li"e may

give a ? %hred ge%% at her by thi% time ?

4ir ill.

Well +rithee try hat tho !an%t doA if tho ? !an%t not ge%%, enDire her ot, do%t hear [email protected] tell ? her, her =e+he 4ir il)ull it*oud i% in the #o%e ?

Serv.

%hall, 4ir ?

4ir ill.

#old ye, hear me riendA a Word ith yo in ? yor $ar, +rithee ho are the%e allant%@ ?

&age E

Serv.

eally 4ir, !ant tellA here !ome %o many here, ? ti% hard to "no em all ?

C(<it Servant.

4ir ill.

Fon% thi% ello "no% le%% than a 4tarlingA ? dont thin" a "no% hi% on =ame ?

r% !ar.

78



r it*oud , yor <rother i% not behind #and ? in forgetflne%%--- fan!y he ha% forgot yo too ?

it.

ho+e %o---The 'evil ta"e him that remember% ? fir%t, %ay ?

4ir ill.

4ave yo entlemen and /ady ?

r% !ar.

or %hame r it*oud A hy ont yo %+ea" ? to [email protected] yo, 4ir ?

it.

E0 etulant %+ea" ?

et.

.nd yo, 4ir ?

4ir ill.

=o Fffen!e, ho+e ?

CSalutes !ar*ood.

r% !ar.

=o %re, 4ir ?

it.

Thi% i% a vile 'og, %ee that already =o Fffen!eH ? #a, ha, ha, to himA to him etulant , %mo"e him

?

79



et.

t %eem% a% if yo had !ome a 5orney, 4irA hem, ? hem ?

CSurve/in him round.

4ir ill.

Gery li"ely, 4ir, that it may %eem %o ?

et.

=o Fffen!e, ho+e, 4ir, ?

it.

4mo"e the <oot%, the <oot%A etulant , the <oot%A ? #a, ha, ha ?

4ir ill.

ay be not, 4irA thereafter a% ti% meant, 4ir ?

et.

4ir, +re%me +on the nformation of yor <oot% ?

4ir ill.

Why, ti% li"e yo may, 4ir: f yo are not ? %ati%fyd ith the nformation of my <oot%, 4ir, if yo

ill ? %te+ to the 4table, yo may enDire frther of my #or%e, ? 4ir ?

et.

Bor #or%e, 4irH Bor #or%e i% an .%%, 4irH ?

80



4ir ill.

'o yo %+ea" by ay of Fffen!e, 4ir@ ?

r% !ar.

The entleman% merry, that% all, 4ir--- ? 4life, e %hall have a Karrel beti*t an #or%e and an .%%,

? before they find one another ot Bo m%t not ta"e any ? Thing ami%% from yor riend%, 4ir Bo

are among yor ? riend% here, tho it may be yo dont "no it---f am ? 7E not mi%ta"en, yo

are 4ir ill)ull it*oud ?

&age 6

4ir ill.

ight /adyA am 4ir ill)ull it*oud , %o ? rite my %elfA no offen!e to any <ody, ho+eA and

=e+he ? to the /ady ish)ort , of thi% an%ion ?

r% !ar.

'ont yo "no thi% entleman, 4ir@ ?

4ir ill.

#mH What %re ti% not---Bea byr /ady, ? bt ti%---4heart "no not hether ti% or no---Bea ? bt

ti%, by the e"in <rother Anthon/H What &on/ faithH ? What do%t tho not "no me@ <yr /ady nor

thee, tho ? art %o <e!ravated, and <e+erriigd---4heart hy do%t ? not %+ea"@ .rt tho oer-

3oyd@ ?

it.

Fd%o <rother, i% it yo@ Bor 4ervant <rother ?

4ir ill.

Bor 4ervantH Why yor%, 4ir Bor 4ervant ? again---4heart, and yor riend and 4ervant to that---

? .nd a---

>pu))?

81



and a fla+ 'ragon for yor 4ervi!e, 4ir: ? .nd a #are% oot, and a #are% 4!t for yor 4ervi!e, 4irA

? an yo be %o !old and %o !ortlyH ?

it.

=o offen!e, ho+e, <rother ?

4ir ill.

4heart, 4ir, bt there i%, and m!h offen!e--- ? . +o*, i% thi% yor nn% o Cort breeding, not to

"no ? yor riend% and yor elation%, yor $lder%, and yor ? <etter%@ ?

it.

Why <rother ill)ull of Salop, yo may be a% %hort ? a% a Shre*s#ur/ Ca"e, if yo +lea%e <t tell

yo, ti% not ? modi%h to "no elation% in Ton Bo thin" yore in ? E00 the Contry, here

great lbberly <rother% %labber and "i%% ? one another hen they meet, li"e a Call of 4er3eant%--- ?

Ti% not the fa%hion hereA ti% not indeed, dear <rother ?

4ir ill.

The a%hion% a oolA and yore a o+, dear ? <rother 4heart, ve %%+e!ted thi%---<yr /ady

!on3e!trd ? yo ere a o+, %in!e yo began to !hange the 4tile of ? yor /etter%, and rite in a

%!ra+ of &a+er gilt rond the ? $dge%, no broader than a Su#pæna might e*+e!t thi%, ? hen yo

left off #onord <rotherA and ho+ing yo are in ? good #ealth, and %o forth---To begin ith a at

me, ? Inight, m %o %i!" of a la%t =ight% deba!h---Fd% heart, ? and then tell a familiar Tale of a

Co!" and a <ll, and a ? Whore and a <ottle, and %o !on!lde---Bo !od rite ? =e% before yo

ere ot of yor Time, hen yo livd ?

&age 7

ith hone%t umple %ose the .ttorney of +urnival % nn--- ? Bo !od intreat to be rememberd then

to yor riend% ? rond the 4ein We !od have aLett% then, and :a*s% ? /etter, and the ee"ly<ill, till of late 'ay% ?

et.

4life, it*oud , ere yo ever an .ttorney% Cler"@ ? Ff the amily of the +urnivals #a, ha, haH ?

it.

82



.y, ay, bt that a% for a hile =ot long, not ? longA +%ha, a% not in my on &oer then .n

Fr+han, ? and thi% ello a% my ardianA ay, ay, a% ? glad to !on%ent to that an to !ome to

Bondon #e had ? the di%+o%al of me then f had not agreed to that, might ? E2E have been

bond &renti!e to a elt ma"er in Shre*s#ur/A thi% ? ello od have bond me to a a"er of

elt% ?

4ir ill.

4heart, and better than to be bond to a a"er ? of o+%A here, %++o%e, yo have %ervd yor

TimeA ? and no yo may %et + for yor %elf ?

r% !ar.

Bo intend to Travel, 4ir, a% m informd ?

4ir ill.

<eli"e may adam may !han!e to %ail +on ? the %alt 4ea%, if my ind hold ?

et.

.nd the Wind %erve ?

4ir ill.

4erve or not %erve, %hant a%" /i!en%e of yo, ? 4irA nor the Weather-Co!" yor Com+anion dire!t

my ? 'i%!or%e to the /ady, 4ir: Ti% li"e my .nt may have ? told yo, adam---Be%, have %ettld

my Con!ern%, ? may %ay no, and am minded to %ee oreign &art% f an ? ho that the &ea!e

hold%, hereby that i%, Ta*e% abate ?

r% !ar.

thoght yo had de%ignd for +rance at all .dventre% ?

4ir ill.

!ant tell thatA ti% li"e may, and ti% li"e ? may not am %omehat dainty in ma"ing a e%oltion,

? ---be!a%e hen ma"e it "ee+ it dont %tand %hill , ? %hall , thenA if %ayt, ll dot: <t have

Thoght% to ? tarry a %mall matter in Ton, to learn %omehat of yor ? Bino fir%t, before !ro%%

8>



the 4ea% d gladly have a %+i!e of ? yor +rench a% they %ay, hereby to hold di%!or%e in oreign ?

Contrie% ?

r% !ar.

#ere i% an .!ademy in Ton for that %e ?

4ir ill.

EE0 There i%@ Ti% li"e there may ?

&age 8

r% !ar.

=o dobt yo ill retrn very m!h im+rovd ?

it.

Be%, refind, li"e a :utch 4"i++er from a Whale-fi%hing ?

(nter Bad/ ish)ort and +ainall.

Bad/.

=e+he, yo are el!ome ?

4ir ill.

.nt, yor 4ervant ?

+ain.

4ir ill)ull , yor mo%t faithfl 4ervant ?

8



4ir ill.

Co%in +ainall , give me yor #and ?

Bad/.

Co%in it*oud , yor 4ervantA r etulant , yor ? 4ervant---=e+he, yo are el!ome again Will

yo ? drin" any Thing after yor 5orney, =e+he, before yo ? eat@ 'inner% almo%t ready ?

4ir ill.

m very ell than" yo .nt---#oever, ? than" yo for yor !orteo% Fffer 4heart, a%afraid ? yo od have been in the fa%hion too, and have rememberd ? to have forgot yor

elation% #ere% yor Co%in ? &on/, beli"e, maynt !all him <rother for fear of offen!e ?

Bad/.

F he% a allier, =e+he---y Co%in% a Wit ? .nd yor great Wit% alay% rally their be%t riend%

to !h%e ? When yo have been abroad, =e+he, yoll nder%tand ? aillery better ?

C+ain. and !rs. !ar*ood tal a-part.

4ir ill.

Why then let him hold hi% Tonge in the mean ? timeA and rail hen that day !ome% ?

(nter !incin.

!inc.

em, !ome to a!Daint yor /a%hi+ that 'inner ? i% im+atient ?

4ir ill.

m+atient@ Why then beli"e it ont %tay, till ? E7E +ll off my <oot% 4eet-heart, !an yo hel+me to a ? +air of 4li++er%@---y an% ith hi% #or%e%, arrant ?

8E



Bad/.

ie, fie, =e+he, yo od not +ll off yor ? <oot% here---o don into the #all---'inner %hall

%tay ? for yo---y =e+he% a little nbred, yoll +ardon ? him, adam---entlemen ill yo

al" !ar*ood --- ?

r% !ar.

ll follo yo, adam---<efore 4ir ill)ull ? i% ready ?

C!anent !rs. !ar*ood and +ainall.

&age 9

+ain.

Why then +oi#le% a <ad, an $rrant, an", at!h-ma"ing ? <ad .nd it %eem% am a #%band, a

an"-#%bandA ? and my Wife a very $rrant, an"-Wife,--- ? all in the Way of the orld 4 death to

be an .nti!i+ated ? C!"old, a C!"old in $mbrio@ 4re a% born ith ? bdding .ntler% li"e a

yong 4atyre, or a CitiLen% Child ? 4 death to be Ft-Witted, to be Ft-5ilted---Ft-atrimonyd, ?

---f had "e+t my %+eed li"e a 4tag, tere %omehat, ? ---bt to !ral after, ith my #orn% li"e a

4nail, and ? ot-%tri+d by my Wife---ti% 4!rvy Wedlo!" ?

r% !ar.

Then %ha"e it off, Bo have often i%hd for ? an o++ortnity to +artA---and no yo have it <t fir%t

? +revent their &lot,---the half of !illamant % ortne i% ? too Con%iderable to be +arted ith, to a

oe, to !ira#ell ?

+ain.

'am him, that had been mine---had yo not ? made that fond di%!overy---that had been forfeited, had

? they been arried y Wife had added /%tre to my ? 600 #orn%, by that $n!rea%e of fortne,---

!od have orn ? em ti+t ith old, tho my forehead had been frni%hd ? li"e a 'e+ty-

/ietenant% #all ?

r% !ar.

They may +rove a Ca+ of aintenan!e to ? yo %till, if yo !an aay ith yor Wife .nd %he% no ?

or%e than hen yo had her--- dare %ear %he had ? given + her ame, before %he a% arryd ?

86



+ain.

#mH That may be---4he might thro + her ? Card%A bt le be hangd if %he did not +t &am in her

? &o!"et ?

r% !ar.

Bo arried her to "ee+ yoA and if yo ? !an !ontrive to have her "ee+ yo better than yo

e*+e!tedA ? hy %hold yo not "ee+ her longer than yo intended@ ?

+ain.

The mean%, the mean% ?

r% !ar.

'i%!over to my /ady yor Wife% !ond!tA threaten ? to +art ith her---y /ady love% her, and ill

!ome ? to any Com+o%ition to %ave her re+tation, ta"e the o++ortnity ? of brea"ing it, 3%t +on

the di%!overy of thi% im+o%tre ? y /ady ill be enraged beyond bond%, and 4a!rifi!e ? =ei!e,

and ortne, and all at that Con3n!tre .nd ?

&age E0

let me alone to "ee+ her arm, if %he %hold lag in her ? +art, ill not fail to +rom+t her ?

+ain.

aith thi% ha% an a++earan!e ?

r% !ar.

m %orry hinted to my /ady to endeavor ? a mat!h beteen !illamant and 4ir il)ull , that may be

? 62E an Fb%ta!le ?

+ain.

F, for that matter leave me to manage himA ll ? di%able him for that, he ill drin" li"e a :ane: after

dinner, ? ll %et hi% hand in ?

87



r% !ar.

Well, ho do yo %tand affe!ted toard% ? yor /ady@ ?

+ain.

Why faith m thin"ing of it---/et me %ee--- ? am married alreadyA %o that% over,---my Wife ha%

+laid ? the 5ade ith me---Well, that% over too--- never lovd ? her, or if had, hy that od have

been over too by ? thi% time---5ealo% of her !annot be, for am !ertainA ? %o there% an end of

5ealo%ie Weary of her, am, and ? %hall be---=o, there% no end of thatA =o, no, that ere ? too

m!h to ho+e Th% far !on!erning my re+o%e =o ? for my e+tation,---.% to my on, married

not for ? itA %o that% ot of the Ke%tion,---.nd a% to my +art in ? my Wife%---Why %he had +arted

ith her% beforeA %o ? bringing none to me, %he !an ta"e none from me, ti% again%t ? all rle of &lay,

that %hold lo%e to one, ho ha% ? not hereithal to %ta"e ?

r% !ar.

<e%ide% yo forget, arriage i% honorable ?

+ain.

#mH aith and that% ell thoght onA arriage ? i% honorable a% yo %ayA and if %o, Wherefore

%hold ? C!"oldom be a di%!redit, being derivd from %o honorable ? a root@ ?

r% !ar.

6E0 =ay "no notA if the root be #onorable, ? hy not the <ran!he%@ ?

+ain.

4o, %o, hy thi% +oint% !lear,---Well ho do e ? +ro!eed@ ?

r% !ar.

ill !ontrive a /etter hi!h %hall be deliverd ? to my /ady at the time hen that a%!al ho i% ?

to a!t 4ir 4o*land i% ith her t %hall !ome a% from an ? n"non hand---for the le%% a++ear to"no of the ?

&age E1

88



trth---the better !an +lay the n!endiary <e%ide% ? old not have +oi#le +rovo"d if !od hel+

it,--- ? be!a%e yo "no %he "no% %ome +a%%age%---=ay ? e*+e!t all ill !ome ot---<t let the

ine be %+rng ? fir%t, and then !are not if m di%!overd ?

+ain.

f the or%t !ome to the or%t,---ll trn my ? Wife to ra%%--- have already a deed of 4ettlement of

the ? be%t +art of her $%tateA hi!h headld ot of herA .nd ? that yo %hall +arta"e at lea%t ?

r% !ar.

ho+e yo are !onvin!d that hate !ira#ell ? no yoll be no more 5ealo% ?

+ain.

5ealo% no,---by thi% Ii%%---let #%band% be 5ealo%A ? <t let the /over %till believe Fr if he dobt,

let ? it be only to endear hi% +lea%re, and +re+are the 5oy that ? follo%, hen he +rove% hi%

i%tre%% treA bt let #%band% ? dobt% Convert to endle%% 5ealo%ieA or if they have belief, ? let it

Corr+t to 4+er%tition, and blind Credlity ? 67E am %ingleA and ill herd no more ith em

Tre, ? ear the badgeA bt ll di%on the Frder .nd %in!e ? ta"e my leave of em, !are not if

leave em a !ommon ? otto, to their !ommon Cre%t ?

All Hus#ands must, or pain, or shame, endure;

&he ise too @ealous are, +ools too secure.

C(<eunt.

&age E2

CT 5%

/C'3' 5%

CScene 3ontinues.D

(nter Bad/ ish)ort and +oi#le.

Bad/.

89



the door +on hi% ? entran!eA and then trn fll +on him---=o, that ill be ? too %dden ll lie---

aye, ll lie don---ll re!eive him in ? my little dre%%ing oom, there% a Co!h---Be%, ye%, ll ?

give the fir%t m+re%%ion on a Co!h--- ont lie neither ? 2E bt loll and lean +on one $lboA

ith one oot a little ? dangling off, 5ogging in a thoghtfl ay---Be%---and ? then a% %oon a% he

a++ear%, %tart, ay, %tart and be %r+riLd, ? and ri%e: to meet him in a +retty di%order---Be%---F, ?

&age E>

nothing i% more allring than a /evee from a Co!h in ? %ome Conf%ion---t %he% the oot toadvantage, and ? frni%he% ith <l%he%, and re-!om+o%ing .ir% beyond Com+ari%on ? #ar"H

There% a Coa!h ?

+oi#.

Ti% he, !adam ?

Bad/.

F dear, ha% my %ephe* made hi% .ddre%%e% to !illamant @ ? orderd him ?

+oi#.

4ir il)ull i% %et into 'rin"ing, !adam, in the &arlor ?

Bad.

Fd% my life, ll %end him to her Call her don, ? +oi#leA bring her hither ll %end him a% go---

When ? they are together, then !ome to me +oi#le, that may not ? be too long alone ith 4ir

4o*land ?

C(<it.

(nter !rs. !illamant, and !rs. +ainall.

+oi#.

!adam, %tayd here, to tell yor /ady%hi+ that ? r !ira#ell ha% aited thi% half hor for an

F++ortnity ? to tal" ith yo Tho my /ady% Frder% ere to leave yo ? and 4ir il)ull together

4hall tell r !ira#ell that yo ? are at lei%re@ ?

!ill.

91



4ir il.

Be%A my .nt old have it %o,--- old ? gladly have been en!oraged ith a <ottle or to,

be!a%e ?

&his *hile !ill. *als a#out 4epeatin to her sel).

m %omehat ary at fir%t, before am ? a!DaintedA---<t ho+e after a time, ? %hall brea" my

mind---that i% +on ? frther a!Daintan!e,---4o for the +re%ent ? 7E Co%en, ll ta"e my leave---f

%o be yoll ? be %o "ind to ma"e my $*!%e, ll retrn to my Com+any--- ?

+ain.

F fie 4ir il)ull H What, yo m%t not be 'anted ?

4ir il.

'anted, =o, that% not it, it i% not %o m!h ? for that---for if %o be that %et ont, ll dot <t only ?

for the +re%ent, ti% %ffi!ient till frther a!Daintan!e, ? that% all---yor 4ervant ?

+ain.

=ay, ll %ear yo %hall never lo%e %o favorable an ? o++ortnity, if !an hel+ it ll leave yotogether and lo!" ? the 'oor ?

C(<it.

4ir il.

=ay, nay CoLen,--- have forgot my love%, ? ---What dee do@ 4hart aha% lo!"d the 'oor indeed ?

thin"---=ay CoLen +ainall , o+en the 'oor---&%ha, ? What a Gi*on tri!" i% thi%@---=ay, no aha%

%een me ? too---CoLen, made bold to +a%% thro a% it ere,--- ? thin" thi% 'oor% n!hanted--- ?

!ill. C4epeatin.D

" prithee spare me entle o/,

ress me no more )or that sliht &o/.

4ir ill.

.nan@ CoLen, yor 4ervant ?

9>



!ill.

---&hat )oolish tri)lle o) a heart ---4ir il)ull H ?

4ir il.

Be%,---yor 4ervant =o offen!e ho+e, CoLen ?

!ill. C4epeatin.D

" s*ear it *ill not do its part, &ho thou dost thine, emplo/st th/ o*er and Art.

&age EE

=atral, ea%ie Suclin H ?

4ir il.

.nan@ Suclin @ =o %!h 4!"ling neither, ? 100 CoLen, nor 4tri+ling: than" #eavn, m noinor ?

!ill.

.h %ti!"H rder than 'othic ?

4ir il.

Well, Well, %hall nder%tand yor Bino one ? of the%e day%, CoLen, in the mean hile, m%t

an%er in ? +lain (nlish ?

!ill.

#ave yo any b%ine%% ith me, 4ir il)ull @ ?

4ir il.

9



=ot at +re%ent CoLen,---Be%, made bold to ? %ee, to !ome and "no if that ho yo ere di%+o%d to

? fet!h a al" thi% $vening, if %o be that might not be troble%ome, ? od have foght a al"

ith yo ?

!ill.

. al"@ What then@ ?

4ir il.

=ay nothing---Fnly for the al"% %a"e, that% ? all--- ?

!ill.

=a%eate al"ingA ti% a Contry diver%ion, ? loath the Contry and every thing that relate% to it ?

4ir il.

ndeedH #ahH /oo" ye, loo" ye, yo do@ =ay, ? ti% li"e yo may---#ere are !hoi!e of &a%time% here

in ? Ton, a% &lay% and the li"e that m%t be !onfe%%d indeed--- ?

!ill.

Ah l etourdieH hate the Ton too ?

4ir il.

'ear #eart, that% m!h---#ahH that yo ? %hod hate em bothH #ahH ti% li"e yo mayA there are ?

%ome !ant reli%h the Ton, and other% !ant aay ith ? the Contry,---ti% li"e yo may be one of

tho%e, CoLen ?

!ill.

#a, ha, ha Be%, ti% li"e may---Bo have nothing ? frther to %ay to me@ ?

4ir il.

9E



12E =ot at +re%ent, CoLen---ti% li"e hen have ? an F++ortnity to be more +rivate,--- may

brea" my ? mind in %ome mea%re,--- !on3e!tre yo +artly ge%% ? ---#oever that% a% time %hall

try,---<t %+are to %+ea" ? and %+are to %+eed, a% they %ay ?

!ill.

f it i% of no great m+ortan!e, 4ir il)ull , yo ? ill oblige me to leave me: have 3%t no a little

b%ine%%--- ?

4ir il.

$nogh, enogh, CoLen, Be%, ye%, all a !a%e--- ? When yore di%+o%d, hen yore di%+o%d =o%

a% ? ell a% another timeA and another time a% ell a% no ?

&age E6

.ll% one for that,---ye%, ye%, if yor Con!ern% !all yo, ? there% no ha%tA it ill "ee+ !old a% they

%ay,---Co%en, ? yor 4ervant, ?

thin" thi% door% lo!"d ?

!ill.

Bo may go thi% ay 4ir ?

4ir ill.

Bor 4ervant, then ith yor leave ll retrn ? to my Com+any ?

C(<it.

!ill.

.y, ay, ha, ha, ha ?

Bie hoe#us sun the no less amrous o/.

(nter !ira#ell.

96



!ir.

---Bie :aphne she as lovel/ and as 3o/.

'o yo lo!" yor %elf + from me, to ma"e my %ear!h ? more Crio%@ Fr i% thi% +retty .rtifi!e

Contrivd, to 4ignifie ? that here the Cha%e m%t end, and my +r%it be ? Crond, for yo !an fly

no frther--- ?

!ill.

GanityH =o---ll fly and be follod to the ? la%t moment, tho am +on the very Gerge of

atrimony, ? 1E0 e*+e!t yo %hod %oli!ite me a% m!h a% if ere avering ? at the grate of a

ona%tery, ith one foot over the ? thre%hold ll be %oli!ited to the very la%t, nay and afterard% ?

!ir.

What, after the la%t@ ?

!ill.

F, %hold thin" a% +oor and had nothing to ? be%to, f ere red!d to an nglorio% ea%eA and

freed ? from the .greeable fatige% of %oli!itation ?

!ir.

<t do not yo "no, that hen favor% are !onferrd ? +on n%tant and tedio% 4olli!itation, that

they dimin%h ? in their vale, and that both the giver lo%e% the gra!e, ? and the re!eiver le%%en% hi%

&lea%re@ ?

!ill.

t may be in thing% of !ommon .++li!ationA bt ? never %re in /ove F, hate a /over, that !an dare

to ? thin", he dra% a moment% air, nde+endent on the <onty ? of hi% i%tre%% There i% not %o

m+dent a thing in ? =atre, a% the %a!y loo" of an a%%red man, Confident ?

&age E7

of 4!!e%% The &edanti!" arrogan!e of a very #%band, ? ha% not %o &ragmati!al an .ir .hH ll

never marry, nle%% ? am fir%t made %re of my ill and +lea%re ?

!ira.

97



Wod yo have em both before arriage@ Fr ? ill yo be !ontented ith the fir%t no, and %tay for

the ? other till after gra!e@ ?

!ill.

.h dont be m+ertinent---y dear /iberty, %hall ? leave thee@ y faithfl 4olitde, my darling

Contem+lation ? m%t bid yo then .die@ ay-h adie---my morning ? 17E thoght%, agreeable

a"ing%, indolent %lmber%, all ye douceurs, ? ye Someils du !atin adieu--- !ant dot, ti% more than

? m+o%%ible---+o%itively !ira#el , ll lie a <ed in a morning ? a% long a% +lea%e ?

!ira.

Then ll get + in a morning a% early a% +lea%e ?

!ill.

.hH dle Creatre, get + hen yo ill---and ? dee hear, ont be !alld name% after m arriedA

+o%itively ? ont be !alld =ame% ?

!ira.

=ame%H ?

!ill.

.y a% Wife, 4+o%e, y dear, 5oy, 5eel, /ove, ? 4eet heart and the re%t of that =a%eo% Cant, in

hi!h ? en and their Wive% are %o fl%omely familiar,--- %hall ? never bear that,---ood !ira#ell

dont let % be familiar ? or fond, nor "i%% before fol"%, li"e my /ady +adler and 4r ? +rancis: =or

goe to Hide-ar together the fir%t Sunda/ in ? a =e Chariot, to +rovo"e $ye% and Whi%+er%A .nd

then ? never to be %een there together againA a% if e ere +rod of ? one another the fir%t Wee", and

a%hamd of one another for ? ever .fter /et % never Gi%it together, nor go to a &lay ? together, <t

let % be very %trange and ell bred: let % ? be a% %trange a% if e had been married a great hileA

and a% ? ell bred a% if e ere not marrid at all ?

!ir.

#ave yo any more Condition% to offer@ #ither-to ? yor demand% are +retty rea%onable ?

!ill.

98



Trifle%,---.% liberty to +ay and re!eive vi%it% to ? 200 and from hom +lea%e, to rite and re!eive

/etter%, ? ithot nterrogatorie% or ry a!e% on yor +art To ? ear hat +lea%eA and !hoo%e

Conver%ation ith regard ? only to my on ta%teA to have no obligation +on me ? to !onver%e ith

Wit% that dont li"e, be!a%e they are ?

&age E8

yor a!Daintan!e, or to be intimate ith ool%, be!a%e ? they may be yor elation% Come to

'inner hen ? +lea%e, dine in my dre%%ing room hen m ot of hmor ? ithot giving area%on To have my Clo%et nviolateA ? to be %ole $m+re%% of my Tea-table, hi!h yo m%t never ?

+re%me to a++roa!h ithot fir%t a%"ing leave .nd la%tly, ? here ever am, yo %hall alay% "no!"

at the door ? before yo !ome in The%e .rti!le% %b%!ribd, f !ontine ? to endre yo a little

longer, may by degree% dindle ? into a Wife ?

!ir.

Bor bill of fare i% %omething advan!d in thi% latter ? a!!ont Well, have /iberty to offerCondition%---that ? hen yo are dindld into a Wife, may not be beyond ? ea%re enlargd into

a #%band@ ?

!ill.

Bo have free leaveA +ro+o%e yor tmo%t, %+ea" and ? %+are not ?

!ir.

than" yo "nprimis then, Covenant that yor ? a!Daintan!e be eneralA that yo admit no %orn

Confident, ? or ntimate of yor on 4e*A =o %he friend to %"reen ? her affair% nder yor

Contenan!e and tem+t yo to ma"e ? 22E tryal of a tal 4e!re%ie =o 'e!oy-'!" to headle

? yo a )op---scram#lin to the &lay in a a%"---then ? bring yo home in a +retended fright, hen

yo thin" yo ? %hall be fond ot---.nd rail at me for mi%%ing the &lay, ? and di%a++ointing the

roli!" hi!h yo had to +i!" me ? + and +rove my Con%tan!y ?

!ill.

'ete%table "nprimisH go to the &lay in a a%"H ?

!ir.

"tem, .rti!le, that yo !ontine to li"e yor on ? a!e, a% long a% %hall .nd hile it +a%%e%

Crrent ith ? me, that yo endeavor not to ne Coin it To hi!h ? end, together ith all GiLard%

for the day, +rohibit all ? a%"% for the =ight, made of oild-%"in% and "no not ? hat---#og%-

bone%, #are%-gall, &ig-ater, and the ? marro of a roa%ted Cat n %hort, forbid all Commer!e ?

ith the entleoman in *hat-de-call-it -Cort "tem, %ht ? my door% again%t all <ad% ith

99



<a%"et%, and +enny-orth% of ? !uslin, 3hina, +ars, Atlases, ;!--- "tem hen yo %hall be ?

<reeding--- ?

&age E9

!ill.

.hH =ame it not ?

!ir.

Whi!h may be +re%md, ith a ble%%ing on or ? endeavor%--- ?

!ill.

Fdio% endeavor%H ?

!ir.

denon!e again%t all %trait-/a!eing, 4DeeLing for ? a 4ha+e, till yo mold my boy% head li"e a4gar-loafA and ? in%tead of a an-!hild, ma"e me the ather to a Croo"ed-billet ? 2E0 /a%tly to

the 'ominion of the &ea-&a#le, %bmit ? ---<t ith proviso, that yo e*!eed not in yor +rovin!eA

? bt re%train yor %elf to =ative and 4im+le &ea-&a#le drin"%, ? a% &ea, 3hocolate and 3o))ee .%

li"ei%e to enine and, ? .thoriLd &ea-&a#le tal",---%!h a% mending of a%hion% ? %+oiling

e+tation%, railing at ab%ent riend%, and %o forth ? ---bt that on no a!!ont yo en!roa!h +on the

men% ? +rerogative, and +re%me to drin" health%, or to%te fello%A ? for +revention of hi!hA

bani%h all +orein +orces, all ? .*iliarie% to the &ea-&a#le, a% Orane-rand/, all Anniseed , ?

3inamon, 3itron and ar#ados-aters, together ith 4ati)ia ? and the mo%t noble 4+irit of 3lar/,---

bt for 3ouslip-ine, ? opp/-ater and all :ormitives, tho%e allo,--- ? the%e proviso% admitted,

in other thing% may +rove a tra!table ? and !om+lying #%band ?

!ill.

F horrid proviso%H filthy %trong Water%H to%te ? fello%, Fdio% enH hate yor Fdio% +rovi%o%

?

!ir.

Then eere agreed 4hall "i%% yor hand +on ? the Contra!t@ and here !ome% one to be a itne%%

to the ? 4ealing of the 'eed ?

100



(nter !rs. +ainall.

!ill.

+ainall , hat %hall do@ %hall have him@ thin" ? m%t have him ?

r% +ain.

.y, ay, ta"e him, ta"e him, hat %hod ? yo do@ ?

!ill.

Well then---ll ta"e my death m in a horrid ? 27E fright--- +ainall , %hall never %ay it---ell---

thin"--- ? ll endre yo ?

&age 60

r% +ain.

y, fy, have him, have him, and tell him %o in ? +lain term% or am %re yo have a mind to him ?

!ill.

.re yo@ thin" have---and the horrid an ? loo"% a% if he thoght %o too---Well, yo ridi!lo%

thing ? yo, ll have yo,--- ont be "i%%d, nor ont be ? than"d---here "i%% my hand tho---%o

hold yor tonge ? no, and dont %ay a ord ?

r% +ain.

!ira#ell , there% a =e!e%%ity for yor obedien!eA ? ---Bo have neither time to tal" noe %tay y

other ? i% !omingA and in my Con%!ien!e if %he %hold %ee ? yo, od fall into fit%, and maybe

not re!over time enogh ? to retrn to 4ir 4o*land , ho a% +oi#le tell% me i% ? in a fair ay to

%!!eed Therefore %+are yor $*ta!ie% ? for another o!!a%ion, and %li+ don the ba!"-%tair%, here

? +oi#le ait% to !on%lt yo ?

!ill.

101



.y, go, go n the mean time %++o%e yo have ? %aid %omething to +lea%e me ?

!ir.

am all Fbedien!e ?

C(<it !ira#.

r% +ain.

Bonder 4ir il)ull % 'rn"A and %o noi%y ? that my other ha% been for!d to leave 4ir 4o*land to

a++ea%e ? himA <t he an%er% her only ith 4inging and ? 'rin"ing---hat they have done by thi%

time "no not ? <t etulant and he ere +on Darrelling a% !ame ? >00 by ?

!ill.

Well, f !ira#ell %hod not ma"e a good #%band, ? am a lo%t thingA---for find love him

violently ?

r% +ain.

4o it %eem%, hen yo mind not hat% %aid ? to yo,---f yo dobt him, yo had be%t ta"e + ith ?

4ir il)ull ?

!ill.

#o !an yo name that %+er-annated /bber, ? %ohH ?

(nter it*oud )rom drinin.

r% +ain.

4o, % the fray made +, that yo have left ? em@ ?

&age 61

it.

102



/eft em@ !od %tay no longer--- have laghd ? li"e ten Chri%tning%--- am ti+%y ith laghing---f

? had %taid any longer %hod have br%t,--- m%t have ? been let ot and +ie!d in the %ide% li"e

an n%iLd Camlet, ? ---Be%, ye% the fray i% !om+o%dA my /ady !ame in li"e ? a %oli prose2ui and

%to+t their +ro!eeding% ?

!ill.

What a% the di%+te@ ?

it.

That% the 5e%t, there a% no di%+te, they !od ? neither of em %+ea" for rageA .nd %o fell a

%+ttring at ? one another li"e to roa%ting .++le% ?

(nter etulant :run.

=o etulant , all% over, all% ellA ad my head begin% ? to him it abot---Why do%t tho not

%+ea"@ tho ? art both a% drn" and a% mte a% a i%h ?

et.

/oo" yo r% !illamant ,---f yo !an love me ? dear =ym+h---%ay it---and that% the Con!l%ion---

? >2E +a%% on, or +a%% off,---that% all ?

it.

Tho ha%t tterd olumes, +olios, in le%% than ? :ecimo Se<to, my 'ear Bacedemonian, 4irrah

etulant , ? tho art an $+itomiLer of ord% ?

et.

it*oud ---Bo are an anihilator of %en%e ?

it.

Tho art a retailer of &hra%e%A and do%t deal in ? emnant% of emnant%, li"e a ma"er of&in!%hion%---tho ? art in trth (eta+hori!ally %+ea"ing) . %+ea"er of %horthand ?

10>



et.

f have a hmor to Karrel, !an ma"e le%% matter% ? >E0 !on!lde &remi%e%,---f yo are not

hand%om, hat ? then@ f have a hmor to +rove it---f %hall have ? my eard, %ay %oA if not,

fight for yor a!e the ne*t ? time yor %elf---ll go %lee+ ?

it.

'o, ra+ thy %elf + li"e a ood-louse and dream evenge ? ---and hear me, if tho !an%t learn to

rite by to ? morro orning, &en me a Challenge---ll !arry it for ? thee ?

et.

Carry yor i%tre%%e% !one/ a Spider ,---go flea ? 'og%, and read oman!e%---ll go to bed to my

aid ?

C(<it.

r% +ain.

#e% horridly drn"---ho !ame yo all ? in thi% +i!"le@--- ?

it.

. +lot, a +lot, to get rid of the Inight,---yor #%band% ? advi!eA bt he %nea"d off ?

(nter Bad/ and Sir il)ull drun.

Bad/.

Ft +ont, ot +ont, at year% of 'i%!retion, ? and Com+ort yor %elf at thi% anti+ole rate ?

4ir il.

=o Fffen!e .nt ?

10E



Bad/.

Fffen!e@ .% m a &er%on, m a%hamd of yo, ? ---oghH ho yo %tin" of WineH 'ee thin" my

=ei!e ? ill ever endre %!h a orachioH yor an ab%olte orachio ?

4ir il.

orachioH ?

Bad/.

.t a time hen yo %hod !ommen!e an .mor ? and +t yor be%t foot foremo%t--- ?

4ir il.

4heart, an yo grt!h me yor /iDor, ma"e a ? <ill---ive me more drin" and ta"e my &r%e ?

&age 6>

Sins,

CG7D rithee )ill me the 'lass

&ill it lauh in m/ +ace,

ith Ale that is otent and !ello*;

He that hines )or a Bass,

"s an "norant Ass,

+or a umper has not its +ello*.

<t if yo od have me arry my Co%en,---%ay the ? Word, and ll dot---il)ull ill dot, that% the

Word ? ---il)ull ill dot, that% my Cre%t---my otto have ? forgot ?

Bad/.

y =e+he% a little overta"en Co%en---bt ? ti% ith drin"ing yor #ealth---F my Word yo are ?

obligd to him ?

4ir il.

106



"n vino veritas .nt,---f drn" yor ? #ealth to day Co%en--- am a orachio <t if yo have ? a

mind to be arryd, %ay the Word, and %end for the &i+er, ? il)ull ill dot f not, d%t it aay, and

let% have tother ? rond---&on/, Fd% heart here% &on/---&on/s an ? hone%t fello, bt he %+it% after

a <m+er, and that% a ? alt ?

Sins,

ell drin and *ell never hadone o/s

ut the lass then around *ith the Sun o/s

Bet Apollos (<ample invite us;

+or hes drun ever/ %iht,

And that maes him so #riht,

CI00D &hat hes a#le ne<t !ornin to liht us.

the 4n% a good &im+le, an hone%t 4oa"er, he ha% a Cellar ? at yor Antipodes f travel .nt, to!h at yor Antipodes ? ---yor Antipodes are a good ra%!ally %ort of to+%y ? trvy ello%---f

had a <m+er d %tand +on my ?

&age 6

#ead and drin" a #ealth to em---. at!h or no at!h, ? Co%en, ith the hard =ame,---.nt, il)ull

ill dot, ? f %he ha% her aidenhead let her loo" tot,---if %he ? ha% not, let her "ee+ her on

Con%el in the mean time, and ? !ry ot at the nine onth% end ?

!ill.

Bor &ardon adam, !an %tay no longer--- ? 4ir il)ull gro% very +oerfl, $ghH ho he %mell%H

? %hall be over!ome if %tay ? Come, Co%en ?

C(<. !ill. and !rs. +ain.

Bad/.

4mell%H he old +oi%on a Tallo-Chandler and ? hi% amily <ea%tly Creatre, "no not hat todo ith ? him---Travel Doth aA .y travel, travel, get thee gone, ? get thee bt far enogh, to the

Saracens or the &artars, ? or the &urs---for tho are not fit to live in a Chri%tian ? Commonealth,

tho bea%tly &agan ?

4ir il.

&urs, noA no &urs, .nt: Bor &urs are nfidel%, ? and believe not in the ra+e Bor !ahometan,

? yor !ussulman i% a dry 4tin"ard---=o Fffen!e, .nt ? y a+ %ay% that yor &ur i% not %o

hone%t a an a% yor ? Chri%tian--- !annot find by the a+ that yor !u)ti i% ? 2E Frthodo*---

Whereby it i% a +lain Ca%e, that Frthodo* i% ? a hard Word, .nt, and (hiccup) ree" for Claret ?

107



Bo have $*!e%% of gallantry 4ir 4o*land A and ? +re%% thing% to a Con!l%ion, ith a mo%t +revailing

Gehemen!e ? ---<t a day or to for de!en!y of arriage--- ?

ait.

or de!en!y of neral, !adam The delay ill ? brea" my heart---or if that %hold fail %hall be

&oy%ond ? y %ephe* ill get an in"ling of my 'e%ign% ? and &oi%on me,---and od illingly

%tarve him before ? die--- od gladly go ot of the World ith that ? 7E 4ati%fa!tion---That

od be %ome Comfort to me, f ? !od bt live %o long a% to be revengd on that Jnnatral ?

iper. ?

Bad/,

% he %o Jnnatral %ay yo@ trely od Contribte ? m!h both to the %aving of yor /ifeA and thea!!om+li%hment ? of yor revenge---=ot that re%+e!t my ? %elfA tho he ha% been a +erfidio%

ret!h to me ?

ait.

&erfidio% to yoH ?

Bad/.

F 4ir 4o*land , the hor% that he ha% dyd aay ? at my eet, the Tear% that he ha% %hed, the Fath%

that he ? ha% %orn, the &al+itation% that he ha% felt, the Tran!e%, ? and the Trembling%, the .rdor%

and the $!%ta!ie%, the ? Ineeling% and the i%eing%, the #eart-heaving%, and the ? hand-ri+ing%, the

&ang% and the &atheti!" egard% of ? hi% +rote%ting $ye%H Fh no memory !an egi%ter ?

ait.

What, my ivalH i% the ebell my ival@ ? adie% ?

Bad/,

=o, dont "ill him at on!e 4ir 4o*land , %tarve ? him gradally in!h by in!h ?

ait.

110



ll dot n three ee"% he %hall be bare-footA ? in a month ot at "nee% ith begging an Alms,---he ?

%hall %tarve +ard and +ard, till he ha% nothing living ? bt hi% head, and then go ot in a %tin"

li"e a Candle% end ? +on a 4ave-all ?

Bad/,

Well 4ir 4o*land , yo have the ay,---Bo are no ? E00 =ovi!e in the /abyrinth of /ove---Bo

have the Cle ? ---<t a% am a +er%on, 4ir 4o*land , Bo m%t not attribte ? my yielding to any

%ini%ter a++etite, or ndige%tion of Widdo-hoodA ?

&age 67

=or m+te my Com+la!en!y, to any /ethargy ? of Continen!e--- ho+e yo do not thin" me +rone to

? any iteration of =+tial%--- ?

ait.

ar be it from me--- ?

Bad/.

f yo do, +rote%t m%t re!ede---or thin" ? that have made a +ro%tittion of de!orm%, bt in the

? Gehemen!e of Com+a%%ion, and to %ave the life of a &er%on ? of %o m!h m+ortan!e--- ?

ait.

e%teem it %o--- ?

Bad/.

Fr el%e yo rong my Conde%!en%ion--- ?

ait.

do not, do not--- ?

Bad/.

ndeed yo do ?

111



ait.

do not, fair %hrine of Gerte ?

Bad/.

f yo thin" the lea%t %!r+le of Carnality a% an ? ngredient--- ?

ait.

'ear !adam, no Bo are all 3amphire and +ranincense, ? all 3hastit/ and Odour ?

Bad/.

Fr that--- ?

(nter +oi#le.

+oi#.

!adam, the 'an!er% are ready, and there% one ith ? a /etter, ho m%t deliver it into yor on

hand% ?

Bad/.

4ir 4o*land , ill yo give me leave@ thin" favorably, ? 5dge Candidly and !on!lde yo have

fond a &er%on ? E2E ho od %ffer ra!"% in honor% !a%e, dear 4ir 4o*land , ? and ill ait

on yo n!e%%antly ?

C(<it.

ait.

ie, fieH---What a 4lavery have ndergoneA ? 4+o%e, ha%t tho any 3ordial --- ant Spirits ?

+oi#.

112



What a a%hy oge art tho, to +ant th% for ? a Darter of an hor% lying and %earing to a fine

/ady@ ?

ait.

F, %he i% the Antidote to de%ire 4+o%e, tho illt ? fare the or%e fort--- %hall have no a++etite to

interation ? of =+tial%---thi% eight and forty #or%---by thi% hand ? d rather be a 3hair-man in

the :o-da/s---than .!t 4ir ? 4o*land , till thi% time to morro ?

&age 68

(nter Bad/ *ith a Better.

Bad/.

Call in the :ancersA---4ir 4o*land , ell %it if ? yo +lea%e, and %ee the $ntertainment ?

:ance.

=o ith yor +ermi%%ion 4ir 4o*land ill +er%e my ? /etter--- od o+en it in yor +re%en!e,

be!a%e ? od not ma"e yo Jnea%ie f it %hod ma"e yo Jnea%ie ? od brn it---%+ea" ifit do%---bt yo may ? %ee by the 4+er%!ri+tion it i% li"e a Woman% hand ?

+oi#.

<y #eavenH r% !ar*oods, "no it,---my ? heart a"e%---get it from her---

Cto him.D

?

ait.

. Woman% hand@ =o !adam, that% no Woman% ? hand %ee that already That% %ome body ho%e

throat m%t ? be !t ?

Bad/.

=ay 4ir 4o*land , %in!e yo give me a +roof of ? yor &a%%ion by yor 5ealo%ie, +romi%e yo llma"e yo ? EE0 a retrn, by a fran" Commni!ation---Bo %hall %ee it ? ---eell o+en it together---

loo" yo here ?

11>



4eads

---!adam, tho unno*n to /ou

CBoo /ou there tis )rom no #od/ that " no*D

J ---" have that honour )or J /our 3haracter, that " thin m/ sel) o#lid to let /ou J no* /ou are

a#usd. He *ho pretends to #e Sir 4o*land J is a cheat and a 4ascal.--- J

Fh #eaven%H hat% thi%@ ?

+oi#.

Jnfortnate, all% rind ?

ait.

#o, ho, /et me %ee, let me %ee---reading A ? 4ascal and disuisd and su##ornd )or that

imposture,---F villany ? F villanyH---#/ the 3ontrivance o) --- ?

Bad/.

%hall faint, %hall die, %hall die, ohH ?

+oi#.

4ay ti% yor =e+he% hand---Di!"ly, hi% +lot, ? %ear, %ear it---

Cto him.

?

&age 69

ait.

#ere% a GillainH !adam, dont yo +er!eive it, ? dont yo %ee it@ ?

Bad/.

Too ell, too ell have %een too m!h ?

11



ait.

told yo at fir%t "ne the hand---. Woman% ? hand@ the a%!al rite% a %ort of a large handA yor

? 4oman hand--- %a there a% a throat to be !t +re%ently ? f he ere my 4on a% he i% my

=e+he d &i%toll ? him--- ?

+oi#.

F Trea!heryH <t are yo %re 4ir 4o*land , it i% ? hi% riting@ ?

ait.

E7E 4re@ am here@ do live@ do love thi% &earl ? of "ndia@ have tenty /etter% in my &o!"et

from him, ? in the %ame Chara!ter ?

Bad/.

#oH ?

+oi#.

F hat l!" it i% 4ir 4o*land , that yo ere +re%ent ? at thi% 5n!treH thi% a% the b%ine%% that

broght ? r !ira#ell di%gi%d to !adam !illamant thi% .fternoon ? thoght %omething a%

!ontriving, hen he %tole by me ? and old have hid hi% fa!e ?

Bad/.

#o, hoH--- heard the Gillain a% in the ho%e ? indeed, and no remember, my %iece ent

aay ? abr+tly, hen 4ir il)ull a% to have made hi% addre%%e% ?

+oi#.

Then, then !adam, r !ira#ell aited for her ? in her Chamber, bt od not tell yor /ady-%hi+

to ? di%!om+o%e yo hen yo ere to re!eive 4ir 4o*land ?

ait.

11E



$nogh, hi% date i% %hort ?

+oi#.

=o, good 4ir 4o*land , dont in!rr the /a ?

ait.

/a@ !are not for /a !an bt die, and ti% ? in a good !a%e---my /ady %hall be %ati%fied of my

Trth ? and nno!en!e, tho it !o%t me my life ?

Bad/.

=o, dear 4ir 4o*land , dont fight, if yo %hod be ? "illd m%t never %he may fa!e or hangd,---F

Con%ider ? my e+tation 4ir 4o*land ---=o yo %hant fight, ? ---ll go in and $*amine my %ieceA

ll ma"e her ? Confe%% !on3re yo 4ir 4o*land by all yor love not ? 600 to fight ?

&age 70

ait.

am Charmd !adam, obey <t %ome +roof ? yo m%t let me give yoA---ll go for a bla!" bo*,

hi!h ? Contain% the Writing% of my hole $%tate, and deliver ? that into yor hand% ?

Bad/.

.y dear 4ir 4o*land , that ill be %ome ComfortA ? bring the <la!"-bo* ?

ait.

.nd may +re%me to bring a Contra!t to be ? %ignd thi% =ight@ ay ho+e %o farr@ ?

Bad/.

<ring hat yo illA bt !ome alive, +ray !ome ? alive F thi% i% a ha++y di%!overy ?

116



.ay, ot, ot, go %et + for yor %elf again--- ? do, drive a Trade, do, ith yor three +enny orth of

%mall ? Ware, flanting +on a &a!"thread, nder a <randy-%eller% ? <l", or again%t a dead Wall by

a <allad-monger o ? hang ot an old +risoncer-oret , ith a yard of Bello ? 3ol#erteen againA

doA an old gnad !as , to roe% of ? ins and a 3hilds +iddleA . 'lass %eclace ith the <ead%

? bro"en, and a Quilted %iht-cap ith one $ar o, go, ? drive a trade,---the%e ere yor

3ommodities yo trea!hero% ? Trll, thi% a% yor !erchandi8e yo dealt in, ? hen too" yo

into my ho%e, +la!d yo ne*t my %elf ? .nd made yo overnante of my hole amily Bo have ?

forgot thi%, have yo@ =o yo have featherd yor ? =e%t ?

+oi#.

=o, no, dear !adam 'o bt hear me, have bt ? 2E a oment% +atien!e---ll Confe%% all r

!ira#ell %ed!d ? meA am not the fir%t that he ha% headld ith hi% di%%embling ? TongeA Bor

/ady-%hi+% on Wi%dom ha% been ?

&age 72 delded by him, then ho %hod a +oor gnorant, defend ? my %elf@ F !adam, f yo "ne bt

hat he +romi%d meA ? and ho he a%%rd me yor /ady%hi+ %hod !ome to no ? damage---Fr el%e

the Wealth of the "ndies %hod ? not have bribd me to !on%+ire again%t %o ood, %o 4eet, ? %o "ind

a /ady a% yo have been to me ?

Bad/.

=o damage@ What to <etray me, to arry me ? to a Ca%t-%erving-manA to ma"e me a re!e+ta!le, an

#o%+ital ? for a de!ayd &im+@ =o damage@ F tho frontle%% m+den!e, ? more than a big-<ellyd.!tre%% ?

+oi#.

&ray do bt here me !adam, he !od not marry ? yor /ady-%hi+, !adam---=o indeed hi% arriage

a% ? to have been void in /aA for he a% married to me fir%t, ? to %e!re yor /ady-%hi+ #e !od

not have bedded yor ? /ady-%hi+: for if he had Con%mmated ith yor /ady-%hi+A ? he m%t have

rn the ri%De of the /a, and been ? +t +on hi% 3ler/---Be% indeed, enDird of the /a ? in

that !a%e before od meddle or ma"e ?

Bad/.

What, then have been yor &ro+erty, have @ ? have been !onvenient to yo it %eem%,---hile yo

ere ? Catering for !ira#ell A have been broa"er for yo@ What, ? have yo made a +a%%ive <ad

of me@---thi% $*!eed% ? E0 all +re!edentA am broght to fine %e%, to be!ome a bot!her ? of

%e!ond hand arriage%, beteen A#iails and Andre*sH ? ll !o+le yo, Be%, ll ba%te yo together,

yo and ? yor hilander ll :ues-lace yo, a% m a &er%on Bor ? Trtle i% in C%tody alreadyA

Bo %hall Coo in the %ame ? Cage, if there be Con%table or arrant in the &ari%h ?

118



!inc.

y /ady od %+ea" ith r% +oi#le, !em. r ? !ira#ell i% ith her, he ha% %et yor 4+o%e at

liberty r% ? +oi#leA and od have yo hide yor %elf in my /ady% ? Clo%et, till my old /ady%

anger i% abated F, my old /ady ? i% in a +erilo% +a%%ion, at %omething r +ainall ha% %aid, ? #e

%ear%, and my old /ady !ry% There% a fearfl #rri!ane ? vo #e %ay% !emA ho that hell have

my ? /ady% ortne made over to him, or hell be divor!d ?

r% +ain.

'o% yor /ady and !ira#ell "no that@ ?

!inc.

Be% !em, they have %ent me to %ee if 4ir il)ull ? be %ober, and to bring him to them y /ady i%

re%olvd ? to have him thin", rather than loo%e %!h a va%t 4mm ? a% %i* tho%and &ond F, !ome

r% +oi#le, hear my old ? /ady ?

r% +ain.

+oi#le, yo m%t tell !incin , that %he m%t ? +re+are to vo!h hen !all her ?

+oi#.

Be%, ye% !adam ?

!inc.

F ye% !em, ll vo!h any thing for yor /ady-%hi+% ? %ervi!e, be hat it ill ?

C(<eunt !inc. and +oi#.

(nter Bad/ and !ar*ood.

Bad/.

F my dear riend, ho !an $nmerate the benefit% ? that have re!eivd from yor goodne%%@ To

yo ? oe the timely di%!overy of the fal%e vo% of !ira#ell A To ? yo the 'ete!tion of the

m+o%tor 4ir 4o*land .nd no ? yo are be!ome an nter!e%%or ith my 4on in-/a, to %ave ?

121



12E the #onor of my #o%e, and Com+ond for the frailty% ? of my 'aghter Well riend, Bo

are enogh to re!on!ile ? me to the bad World, or el%e od retire to 'e%art% ? and 4olitde%A and

feed harmle%% 4hee+ by 'roves and urlin ?

&age 7E

Streams 'ear !ar*ood , let % leave the World, and ? retire by or %elve% and be Sheperdresses ?

r% !ar.

/et % fir%t di%+at!h the affair in hand !adam, ? e %hall have lei%re to thin" of etirement

afterard% ? #ere i% one ho i% !on!ernd in the treaty ?

Bad/.

F 'aghter, 'aghter, % it +o%%ible tho %hod%t ? be my Child, <one of my <one, and le%h of my

le%h, ? and a% may %ay, another e, and yet tran%gre%% the ? mo%t minte &arti!le of %evere

Gerte@ % it +o%%ible yo ? %hold lean a%ide to niDity ho have been Ca%t in the dire!t ? old of

Gerte@ have not only been a old bt a ? &attern for yo, and a odel for yo, after yo ere ?

broght into the World ?

r% +ain.

dont nder%tand yor /ady%hi+ ?

Bad/.

=ot nder%tand@ Why have yo not been =aght@ ? #ave yo not been 4o+hi%ti!ated@ =ot

nder%tand@ #ere ? am rind to Com+ond for yor 3aprices and yor 3ucoldomes ? m%t

+an my late, and my @e*ells and rine ? my %eice, and all little enogh--- ?

r% +ain.

am rongd and ab%d, and %o are yo Ti% ? a fal%e a!!%ation, a% fal%e a% Hell , a% fal%e a% yor

riend ? 1E0 there, ay or yor riend% riend, my fal%e #%band ?

r% !ar.

y riend, r% +ainal @ Bor #%band my ? riend, hat do yo mean@ ?

122



r% +ain.

"no hat mean !adam, and %o do yoA ? and %o %hall the World at a time Convenient ?

r% !ar.

am %orry to %ee yo %o +a%%ionate, !adam ? ore Tem+er od loo" more li"e nno!en!e <t

? have done am %orry my Neal to %erve yor /ady%hi+ and ? amily, %hod admit of

i%!on%tr!tion, or ma"e me liable ? to affront% Bo ill +ardon me, !adam, f meddle ? no more

ith an affair, in hi!h am not &er%onally !on!ernd ?

Bad/.

F dear riendA am %o a%hamd that yo %hold ? meet ith %!h retrn%A---yo oght to a%" &ardon

on ? yor Inee%, Jngratefll CreatreA %he de%erve% more from ?

&age 76

yo, than all yor life !an a!!om+li%h---F dont leave me ? de%titte in thi% &er+le*ityA---=o, %ti!" to

me my good eni% ?

r% +ain.

tell yo !adam yore ab%d---%ti!" to yo@ ? ay, li"e a Beach, to %!" yor be%t <lood---%hell

dro+ off ? hen %he% fll !adam yo %hanot +an a odin, nor ? +art ith a rass 3ounter in

Com+o%ition for me defie ? em all /et em +rove their a%+er%ion%A "no my on ? nno!en!e,

and dare %tand by a tryall ?

C(<it.

Bad/.

Why, f %he %hod be nno!ent, f %he %hod be ? rongd after all, ha@ dont "no hat to thin",---

and ? +romi%e yo, her $d!ation ha% been ne*!e+tionable--- ? 17E may %ay itA for !hiefly

made it my on Care to nitiate ? her very nfan!y in the diment% of Gerte, and to ? m+re%%

+on her tender Bear%, a Bong Odium and Aversion ? to the very %ight of en,---ay riend, %he

od ha ? %hrie"d, f %he had bt %een a an, till %he a% in her ? Teen% .% m a &er%on ti% tre---

4he a% never %fferd ? to +lay ith a ale-Child, tho bt in Coat%A =ay her very ? <abie% ere of

the +eminine 'ender A---F, %he never loo"d ? a an in the a!e bt, her on ather, or the Cha+lain,

? and him e made a %hift to +t +on her for a Woman, by ? the hel+ of hi% long arment%, and hi%

4lee"-fa!eA till %he ? a% going in her fifteen ?

12>



r% !ar.

Ta% m!h %he %hod be de!eivd %o ? long ?

Bad/.

arrant yo, or %he od never have born to ? have been Cate!hi%d by himA and have heard hi%

long ? le!tre%, again%t 4inging and 'an!ing, and %!h 'eba!herie%A ? and going to filthy la/sA

and &rofane !usic-meetins, ? here the /ed Treble% %Dee" nothing bt <ady, and ? the <a%e%

roar lasphem/ F, %he od have %ooned at the ? %ight or name of an ob%!ene &lay-<oo"---and

!an thin" ? after all thi%, that my 'aghter !an be =aght@ What, a ? Whore@ .nd thoght it

e*!ommni!ation to %et her foot ?

&age 77 ithin the door of a &lay-ho%e F my dear friend, !ant ? believe it, =o, noA a% %he %ay%, let him

+rove it, let him ? 200 +rove it ?

r% !ar.

&rove it !adam@ What, and have yor name ? +ro%titted in a +bli!" CortA Bor% and yor

'aghter% ? re+tation orryd at the <arr by a +a!" of <aling /ayer%@ ? To be %herd in ith an

O Fe8 of 4!andalA and have ? yor Ca%e o+end by an old fmbling /ea!her in a Koif ? li"e a an

idife to bring yor 'aghter% nfamy to ? light, to be a Theme for legal &n%ter%, and Kibler% bythe ? 4tatteA and be!ome a 5e%t, again%t a le of Cort, here ? there i% no +re!edent for a 5e%t in

any re!ordA not even in ? :ooms-da/-oo : to di%!om+o%e the gravity of the <en!h, ? and +rovo"e

=aghty nterrogatorie%, in more =aghty ? Ba* BatinA hile the good 5dge ti!"ld ith the

+ro!eeding, ? 4im+er% nder a rey beard, and fidge% off and on ? hi% C%hion a% if he had

%allod 3antharides, or %at +on ? 3o*-"tch ?

Bad/.

F, ti% very hardH ?

r% !ar.

.nd then to have my Bong 4evellers of the ? &emple, ta"e =ote% li"e &renti!e% at a 3onventicleA and

after, ? tal" it all over again in Common%, or before 'raer% in ? an (atin-house ?

Bad/.

Wor%e and Wor%e ?

12



r% !ar.

=ay thi% i% nothingA if it od end here, ? tere ell <t it m%t after thi% be !on%ignd by the ?

4hort-hand Writer% to the +bli!" &re%%A and from then!e ? 22E be tran%ferrd to the hand%, nay into

the Throat% and /ng% ? of #a"er%, ith Goi!e% more /i!entio% than the lod ? +lounder-man% or

the oman that !ry% 're/-peaseA and thi% ? yo m%t hear till yo are %tnndA =ay yo m%t hear

nothing ? el%e for %ome day% ?

Bad/.

F, ti% n%++ortable =o, no, dear riend ma"e it ? +, ma"e it +A ay, ay, ll Com+ond ll give +

all, ? my %elf and my all, my %eice and her all,---any thing, every ? thing for Com+o%ition ?

&age 78

r% !ar.

=ay !adam, advi%e nothing, only lay before ? yo a% a riend the n!onvenien!ie% hi!h +erha+%

? yo have Fver%een #ere !ome% r +ainall f he ill ? be %ati%fid to hddle + all in 4ilen!e,

%hall be glad ? Bo m%t thin" old rather Congratlate, then Condole ? ith yo ?

(nter +ainall.

Bad/.

.y, ay, do not dobt it, dear !ar*ood : =o, ? no, do not dobt it ?

+ain.

Well adamA have %fferd my %elf to be over!ome ? by the m+ortnity of thi% /ady yor riendA

and am ? !ontent yo %hall en3oy yor on +ro+er $%tate dring ? /ifeA on !ondition yo oblige yor

%elf never to arry, ? nder %!h +enalty a% thin" !onvenient ?

Bad/.

=ever to arry@ ?

12E



+ain.

=o more 4ir 4o*lands,---the ne*t m+o%tre ? may not be %o timely dete!ted ?

r% !ar ,

2E0 That !ondition dare an%er, my /ady ? ill !on%ent to, ithot diffi!ltyA %he ha% already, bt

? too m!h e*+erien!d the +erfidio%ne%% of en <e%ide% ? adam, hen e retire to or +a%toral

4olitde e %hall ? bid adie to all other Thoght% ?

Bad/.

.ye that% treA bt in Ca%e of =e!e%%ityA a% of ? #ealth, or %ome %!h $mergen!y--- ?

+ain.

F, if yo are +re%!ribd arriage, yo %hall be !on%iderdA ? ill only re%erve to my %elf the &oer

to !h%e ? for yo f yor &hy%i!" be hol%ome, it matter% not ? ho i% yor .+othe!ary =e*t, my

Wife %hall %ettle on ? me the remainder of her ortne, not made over alreadyA ? .nd for her

aintenan!e de+end entirely on my 'i%!retion ?

Bad/.

Thi% i% mo%t inhmanly 4avageA e*!eeding the <arbarity ? of a !uscovite #%band ?

+ain.

learnd it from hi% 38arish a3e%tie% etine, in ? a Winter $vening% Conferen!e over <randy and

&e++er, among%t ?

&age 79

other %e!ret% of atrimony and &oli!y, a% they are ? at +re%ent &ra!ti%d in the %orthern #emi%+here

<t thi% ? m%t be agreed nto, and that +o%itively /a%tly, ill ? be endod in right of my Wife,

ith that %i* tho%and ? &ond, hi!h i% the oiety of r% !illamants ortne ? in yor

&o%%e%%ion: .nd hi!h %he ha% forfeited (a% ill ? a++ear by the la%t Will and Te%tament of yor

de!ea%d ? #%band 4ir @onathan ish)ort ) by her di%obedien!e in ? 27E Contra!ting her %elf

again%t yor Con%ent or InoledgeA ? and by ref%ing the offerd at!h ith 4ir ill)ul it*oud , ?

hi!h yo li"e a !arefl .nt had +rovided for her ?

126



&age 80

(nter !illamant and Sir. ill)ull.

4ir il.

>00 .nt, yor 4ervant ?

Bad/.

Ft 3aterpillar , Call not me .nt, "no thee ? not ?

4ir il.

!onfe%% have been a little in di%gi%e a% they ? %ay,---4heartH and m %orry fort What od yo

have@ ? ho+e !ommitted no Fffen!e .nt---and if did am ? illing to ma"e %ati%fa!tionA and

hat !an a man %ay ? fairer@ f have bro"e any thing, ll +ay fort, an it !o%t a ? &ond .nd %o let

that !ontent for hat% +a%t, and ma"e ? no more ord% or hat% to !ome to +lea%re yo m ?

illing to marry my Co%en 4o +ray let% all be riend%, ? %he and are agreed +on the matter, before

a Witne%% ?

Bad/.

#o% thi% dear %iece@ #ave any !omfort@ Can ? thi% be tre@ ?

!ill.

am !ontent to be a 4a!rifi!e to yor re+o%e !adamA ? and to Convin!e yo that had no hand in the&lot, ? a% yo ere mi%informdA have laid my !ommand% on ? !ira#ell to !ome in &er%on, and be

a Witne%% that give ? my hand to thi% floer of niht-hood A and for the Contra!t ? that +a%t

beteen !ira#ell and me, have obligd ? him to ma"e a e%ignation of it, in yor /ady-%hi+%

+re%en!eA ? ---#e i% ithot and ait% yor leave for admittan!e ?

Bad/.

Well, ll %ear am %omething revivd at thi% ? Te%timony of yor Fbedien!eA bt !annot admit that

? Traytor,--- fear !annot fortifie my %elf to %++ort hi% a++earan!e ? >2E #e i% a% terrible to mea% a 'oronA if %ee him, ? fear %hall trn to 4tone, +etrifie n!e%%antly ?

128



!ill.

f yo di%oblige him he may re%ent yor ref%al ? and in%i%t +on the !ontra!t %till Then ti% the la%t

time ? he ill be offen%ive to yo ?

&age 81

Bad/.

.re yo %re it ill be the la%t time@---if ere ? %re of that---%hall never %ee him again@ ?

!ill.

4ir ill)ul , yo and he are to Travel together, are ? yo not@ ?

4ir ill.

4heart the entleman% a !ivil entleman, ? .nt, let him !ome inA hy e are %orn <rother% and

? fello Traveller%---We are to be /lades and Orestes, he ? and ---#e i% to be my nter+reter in

foreign &art% #e ? ha% been Fver-%ea% on!e alreadyA and ith +rovi%o that ? arry my Co%en, ill!ro%% em on!e again, only to bear ? me Com+any,---4heart, ll !all him in,---an %et ont ? on!e, he

%hall !ome inA and %ee holl hinder him ?

C(<it.

r% !ar.

Thi% i% +re!io% ooling, if it od +a%%, bt ? ll "no the bottom of it ?

Bad/.

F dear !ar*ood , yo are not going@ ?

!ar.

=ot far adamA ll retrn immediately ?

129



C(<it.

4e-enter Sir ill)ul and !ira#ell.

4ir ill.

/oo" + an, ll %tand by yo, %bd an %he ? do fron, %he !ant "ill yoA---be%ide%---#ear"ee %he ?

dare not fron de%+erately, be!a%e her fa!e i% none of her ? onA 4heart an %he %hod her forehead

od rin"le li"e ? >E0 the Coat of a Cream-!hee%e, bt mm for that, fello ? Traveller ?

!ir.

f a dee+ %en%e of the many n3rie% have offerd to ? %o good a /ady, ith a %in!ere remor%e, and ahearty Contrition, ? !an bt obtain the lea%t glan!e of Com+a%%ion am ? too #a++y,---.h !adam,

there a% a time---bt let it be ? forgotten--- !onfe%% have de%ervedly forfeited the high ? &la!e

on!e held, of %ighing at yor eetA nay "ill me not, ? by trning from me in di%dain,--- !ome not to

+lead for ? favorA---=ay not for &ardon, am a 4++liant only for ? yor +ity--- am going here

never %hall behold yo ? more--- ?

&age 82

4ir il.

#o, fello TravellerH---Bo %hall go by yor ? %elf then ?

!ir.

/et me be +itied fir%tA and afterard% forgotten, ? --- a%" no more ?

4ir il.

<yr /ady a very rea%onable reDe%tA and ill !o%t ? yo nothing, .nt---Come, !ome, orgive and

orget ? .nt, hy yo m%t an yo are a Chri%tian ?

!ir.

Con%ider !adam, in realityA Bo !od not re!eive ? m!h +re3di!eA it a% an nno!ent devi!eA tho !onfe%% ? it had a a!e of giltine%%,---it a% at mo%t an .rtifi!e hi!h ? /ove Contrivd---and

error% hi!h /ove +rod!e% have ? ever been a!!onted enial .t lea%t thin" it i% &ni%hment ?

1>0



enogh, that have lo%t hat in my heart hold mo%t dear, ? >7E that to yor !rel ndignation,

have offerd + thi% <eaty, ? and ith her my &ea!e and KietA =ay all my ho+e% of ? ftre

Comfort ?

4ir il.

.n he do% not move me, od might never ? be O the Quorum---an it ere not a% good a deed a%

to drin", ? to give her to him again,--- od might never ta"e ? 4hi++ing---.nt, if yo dont

forgive Di!"lyA %hall ? melt, !an tell yo that y !ontra!t ent no frther ? than a little oth-

le, and that% hardly dryA---Fne ? dolefll 4igh more from my fello Traveller and ti% di%%olvd ?

Bad/.

Well %ephe*, +on yor a!!ont---ah, he ha% a ? fal%e n%inating Tonge---Well 4ir, ill %tifle my 3%t ? re%entment at my %ephe*% reDe%t--- ill endeavor hat ? !an to forget,---bt on proviso

that yo re%ign the Contra!t ? ith my %eice mmediately ?

!ir.

t i% in Writing and ith &a+er% of Con!ernA bt ? have %ent my 4ervant for it, and ill deliver it to

yo, ? ith all a!"noledgment% for yor tran%!endent goodne%% ?

Bad/.

Fh, he ha% itch-cra)t in hi% $ye% and TongeA--- ? When did not %ee him !od have bribd a

Gillain to ? hi% .%%a%%inationA bt hi% a++earan!e ra"e% the (m#ers hi!h ?

&age 8>

have %o long layn %motherd in my <rea%t---

Capart.

?

(nter +ainall and !rs. !ar*ood.

+ain.

Bor date of deliberation !adam, i% e*+ird #ere ? i% the n%trment, are yo +re+ard to %ign@ ?

Bad/.

1>1



f ere +re+ardA am not m+ord y ? 00 %eice e*ert% a lafll !laim, having at!hd her

%elf by ? my dire!tion to 4ir il)ull ?

+ain.

That %ham i% too gro%% to +a%% on me,---tho ti% ? m+o%d on yo, !adam ?

!ill.

4ir, have given my !on%ent ?

!ir.

.nd 4ir, have re%ignd my +reten%ion% ?

4ir il.

.nd 4ir, a%%ert my rightA and ill maintain ? it in defian!e of yo 4ir, and of yor n%trment

4heart ? an yo tal" of an n%trment 4ir, have an old +o< by ? my Thigh %hall ha!" yor

n%trment of 4am ellam to ? %hred%, 4ir t %hall not be %ffi!ient for a !ittimus or a ? &a/lor %

mea%reA therefore ithdra yor n%trment 4ir, ? or byr /ady %hall dra mine ?

Bad/.

#old %ephe*, hold ?

!ill.

ood 4ir, il)ull re%+ite yor valor ?

+ain.

ndeed@ are yo +rovided of a ard, ith yor %ingle ? <eef-eater there@ bt m +re+ard for yoA

and n%i%t ? +on my fir%t +ro+o%al Bo %hall %bmit yor on $%tate ? to my management, .nd

ab%oltely ma"e over my Wife% ? to my %ole %eA .% +r%ant to the &r+ort and Tenor of ? thi%

other Covenant,--- %++o%e !adam, yor Con%ent i% ? not reDi%ite in thi% Ca%eA nor r !ira#ell ,yor re%ignationA ? nor 4ir il)ull , yor right---Bo may dra yor +o< ? if yo +lea%e 4ir, and

ma"e a ear-'arden flori%h %omehere ? el%eA or here it ill not avail Thi% my /ady ? 2E

1>2



ish)ort m%t be %b%!ribd, or yor 'arling 'aghter% ? trnd a drift, li"e a /ea"y hl" ro 4in" or

4im, a% %he ? and the Crrent of thi% /ed Ton !an agree ?

Bad/.

% there no mean%, no emedy, to %to+ my rine@ ? Jngratefl Wret!hH do%t tho not oe thy being,

thy ?

&age 8

%b%i%tan!e to my 'aghter% ortne@ ?

+ain.

ll an%er yo hen have the re%t of it in my ? +o%%e%%ion ?

!ir.

<t that yo od not a!!e+t of a emedy from ? my hand%--- on have not de%ervd yo %hod

oe ? any Fbligation to meA or el%e +erha+% !od advi%e--- ?

Bad/.

F hat@ hat@ to %ave me and my Child from ? ine, from Want, ll forgive all that% +a%tA =ay ll

!on%ent ? to any thing to !ome, to be deliverd from thi% Tyranny ?

!ir.

.y !adamA bt that i% too late, my reard i% inter!e+ted ? Bo have di%+o%d of her, ho only !od

? have made me a Com+en%ation for all my 4ervi!e%A---<t ? be it a% it may am re%olvd ll %erve

yo, yo %hall not ? be rongd in thi% Savae manner ?

Bad/.

#oH dear r !ira#ell , !an yo be %o genero% ? at la%tH <t it i% not +o%%ible Hearee ll brea"

my %ephe*s ? at!h, yo %hall have my %iece yet, and all her fortneA ? if yo !an bt %ave me

from thi% imminent danger ?

!ir.

1>>



Will yo@ ta"e yo at yo ord a%" no more ? m%t have leave for to Criminal% to a++ear ?

Bad/.

E0 .y, ay, any <ody, any body ?

!ir.

+oi#le i% one and a &enitent ?

(nter !rs. +ainall, +oi#le, and !incin.

r% !ar.

F my %hameH The%e Corr+t ? thing% are boght and broght hither to e*+o%e ? me---

Cto +ain.D

?

!ira# and Bad/ o to !rs. +ain. and +oi#.

+ain.

f it m%t all !ome ot, hy let em "no it, ti% ? bt the *a/ o) the orld That %hall not rge me to

? relinDi%h or abate one tittle of my Term%, no, ill in%i%t ? the more ?

+oi#.

Be% indeed !adamA ll ta"e my <ible-oath of ? it ?

!inc.

.nd %o ill , !em. ?

&age 8E

Bad/.

1>



(nter ait*ell *ith a o< o) ritins.

Bad/.

F 4ir 4o*land ---ell a%!al ?

ait.

What yor /ady%hi+ +lea%e%--- have broght ? the <la!" bo* at la%t, !adam ?

!ir.

ive it me !adam, yo remember yor +romi%e ?

Bad/.

, dear 4irH ?

&age 86

!ir.

Where are the entlemen@ ?

ait.

.t hand 4ir, rbbing their $ye%,---5%t ri%en ? from 4lee+ ?

+ain.

4death hat% thi% to me@ ll not ait yor +rivate ? !on!ern% ?

(nter etulant and it*oud.

et.

1>6



!ir.

r +ainall , it i% no time that yo %hod "no, ? that yor /ady hile %he a% at her on di%+o%al,

and before ? yo had by yor n%ination% headld her ot of a +retended ? 4ettlement of the

greate%t +art of her fortne--- ?

+ain,

4irH +retendedH ?

!ir.

Be% 4ir %ay that thi% /ady hile a Widdo, ? having it %eem% re!eivd %ome Cation% re%+e!ting

yor n!on%tan!y ? and Tyranny of tem+er, hi!h from her on ? +artial F+inion and fondne%% of

yo, %he !od never have ? %%+e!ted---%he did %ay by the hole%ome advi!e of riend% ? E2E

and of 4age% learned in the /a% of thi% /and, deliver thi% ? %ame a% her .!t and 'eed to me in tr%t,

and to the %e% ? ithin mentiond Bo may read if yo +lea%e---

Choldin

Cae K7 D

out the archment.D

? tho +erha+% hat i% in%!ribd on the ba!" ? may %erve yor o!!a%ion% ?

+ain.

Gery li"ely 4ir, What% here@ 'amnationH ?

C4eadsD

A deed o) 3onve/ance o) the *hole (state real J o) Ara#ella Banuish iddo* in trust to (d*ard J

!ira#ell. J

Conf%ionH ?

!ir.

$ven %o 4ir, ti% the *a/ o) the orld , 4ir: of the ? Widdo% of the World %++o%e thi% 'eed may

bear an ? $lder 'ate than hat yo have obtaind from yor /ady ?

+ain.

1>8



&erfidio% iendH then th% ll be revengd---

Co))ers to run at !rs +ain.D

?

4ir il.

#old 4ir, no yo may ma"e yor ear-'arden ? flori%h %omehere el%e 4ir ?

+ain.

!ira#ell , Bo %hall hear of thi% 4ir, be %re yo %hall, ? let me +a%% Oa)e ?

C(<it.

r% +ain.

!adam, yo %eem to %tifle yor e%entment: ? Bo had better give it Gent ?

r% !ar.

Be% it %hall have Gent---and to yor Conf%ion, ? or ll +eri%h in the attem+t ?

C(<it.

Bad/.

F 'aghter, 'aghter, ti% +lain tho ha%t inherited ? thy other% +rden!e ?

r% +ain.

Than" r !ira#ell , a Catio% riend, to ? EE0 ho%e advi!e all i% oing ?

Bad/.

Well r !ira#ell , yo have "e+t yor +romi%e, ? ---and m%t +erform mine---ir%t +ardon for

yor ? %a"e, 4ir 4o*land there and +oi#le,---The ne*t thing i% ? to brea" the atter to my %ephe*---and ho to do ? that--- ?

1>9



!ir.

or that !adam, give yor %elf no troble---let ? me have yor Con%ent---4ir il)ull i% my riendA he

? ha% had !om+a%%ion +on /over% and genero%ly engagd a ? Golnteer in thi% .!tion, for or

4ervi!e, and no de%ign% ? to +ro%e!te hi% Travell% ?

&age 88

4ir il.

4heart .nt, have no mind to marry y ? Co%en% a ine /ady, and the entleman love% her and

%he ? love% him, and they de%erve one anotherA my re%oltion i% ? to %ee oreign &art%--- have %et

ont---.nd hen ? m %et ont, m%t dot .nd if the%e to entlemen ? od Travel too, thin"they may be %+ard ?

et.

or my +art, %ay little--- thin" thing% are be%t ? off or on ?

it.

ad nder%tand nothing of the matter,---m ? in a maLe yet, li"e a :o in a :ancin School ?

Bad/.

Well 4ir, ta"e her, and ith her all the 5oy !an ? give yo ?

!ill.

Why do% not the man ta"e me@ od yo have ? me give my %elf to yo over again ?

!ir.

E7E .y, and over and over againA for ? od have yo a% often a% +o%%ibly !an ?

isses her hand.

Well, heavn grant love yo not too ell, that% all my ? fear ?

10



4ir ill.

4heart yoll have him time enogh to toy after ? yore marriedA or if yo ill toy noA /et % have

a ? 'an!e in the mean time, that e ho are not /over%, may ? have %ome other em+loyment,

be%ide% loo"ing on ?

!ir.

With all my heart dear 4ir ill)ull , hat %hall e ? do for %i!"@ ?

+oi#.

F 4ir, 4ome that ere +rovided for 4ir 4o*land % ? $ntertainment are yet ithin Call ?

A :ance.

Bad/.

.% am a +er%on !an hold ot no longerA--- ? have a%ted my %+irit% %o to day alreadyA that am ?

ready to %in" nder the fatigeA and !annot bt have ? %ome fear% +on me yet, that my 4on +ainall ill +r%e ? %ome de%+erate Cor%e ?

!ir.

!adam, di%Diet not yor %elf on that a!!ont, to my ? "noledge hi% Cir!m%tan!e% are %!h, he

m%t of for!e ? !om+ly or my +art ill Contribte all that in me lie% ? to a enion, in the mean

time, !adam, let me ?

C&o !rs. +ain.

before the%e Witne%%e%, re%tore to yo thi% deed ? of tr%t t may be a mean% ell managd to ma"eyo live ? $a%ily together ?

+rom hence let those #e *arnd, *ho meant to *ed;

600 Best mutual )alshhood stain the ridal-ed5

+or each deceiver to his cost ma/ )ind,

&hat marriae )rauds, too o)t are paid in ind.

$*ent Fmne%

a#8 matter

'5;'

11



4+o"en by r% raceirdle

A)ter our (piloue this 3ro*d dismisses,

"n thinin ho* this la/ll #e pulld to ieces.

ut pra/ consider, ere /ou doom its )all,

Ho* hard a thin t*ould #e, to please /ou all.

&here are some 3ritics so *ith Spleen diseasd,

&he/ scarcel/ come inclinin to #e leasd5

And sure he must have more than mortal Sill,

ho pleases an/ one aainst his ill.

&hen, all #ad oets *e are sure are +oes,

And ho* their %um#ers s*elld the &o*n *ell no*s5

"n shoals, "ve mard em Eudin in the it;

&ho the/re on no pretence )or @udment )it

ut that the/ have #een :amnd )or *ant o) *it.

Since *hen, the/ #/ their o*n o))ences tauhtSet up )or Sp/s on la/s and )indin +ault.

Others there are *hose !alice *ed prevent;

Such, *ho *atch la/s, *ith scurrilous intent

&o mar out *ho #/ 3haractersare meant.

And tho no per)ect lieness the/ can &race;

Fet each pretends to no* the 3op/d +ace.

&hese *ith )alse 'losses, )eed their o*n "ll-nature,

And turn to Bi#el, *hat *as meant a Satire.

!a/ such malicious +ops this +ortune )ind,

&o thin themselves alone the +oolsdesind5

") an/ are so arroantl/ ain,&o thin the/ sinl/ can support a scene,

And )urnish +ool enouh to entertain

congreve way of the world

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