Copyright © 2018 by Michelle Mains

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MichelleMains.com 101 Genuine Power Affirmations For a Loud, Complicated World —1st ed.ISBN-13: 978-1-7323660-1-5

Contents

The Soul Boss® PrinciplesGenuine Power TechniquesWhy You Should Use Affirmations

7 Blocks to Successful Affirmations

101 Genuine Power Affirmations ListAdaptability

Creativity

Decision Making

Empathy

Healthy Self-Confidence

Join the Soul Boss CommunityAbout the Author

The Soul Boss® Principles Here’s a simple question: Who’s the boss of you? Is it your phone, social media, calendar, or credit cards? Maybe it seems

like your friends and family are calling the shots. Let’s look at it from another angle. If you’re already the boss of you, are

you a good boss? Are you kind and reasonable or demanding and critical? Ifyou treated others the way you treat yourself, would they be eager to work foryou?

It’s possible to start over and become the creative, wise CEO of your life.

You can integrate your separate work, home, and off-hours personalities intoa seamless experience by using mindfulness, courage, and integrity. Whenyou use soft skills, like adaptability, empathy and discernment, to solveproblems and make hard choices, soulful moments don’t happen every bluemoon; they happen everywhere you go.

There are three straightforward elements to the Soul Boss principles.

1. Connect head and heart by relying on your instincts as much as yourintellect

2. Calibrate your behavior to respond to a changing world withauthenticity

3. Commit to practicing insight, wisdom, and compassion Are you unsure about how these principles would work for you? Think of

it like this: You may have deep emotions about an inspired idea, however,genius stalls if you never get off the couch. Or, you could have brilliantintellectual opinions—but they will fall flat if you lack the self-awareness tosee that no one is keeping pace. The three principles above fill in the gapsbetween these extremes, giving you the means to navigate the real world.

Life can be challenging and uncomfortable. That’s why building a set of

customized techniques for taking charge of yourself should be easy. Easy tounderstand, with relatable case studies. Easy to implement, with clear,practical actions. And right to the point, because you need real-timesolutions.

Start where you are and live Soul Boss life!

***

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Genuine Power Techniques There’s no getting around it: We all need a certain amount of personal

power to be successful in everyday life. So, why is talking about power sucha difficult conversation?

Think of the first words and phrases that spring to mind—they’re usually

negative. Abuse of power. Throwing your power around. Power struggle.Power play. Destructive, manipulative power is all around us, from the angryguy next door trying to run the neighborhood to the leaders in our politicalarena. No wonder we’re so conflicted about what it means to be powerful.

Maybe you’ve decided that the negative expression of power isn’t for you.

But having made this decision, are you stuck because you haven’t figured outwhat to do instead? Being kind, authentic, and empowered in a loud,complicated world sounds good, but it’s hard to describe how to get there.

I’ll give you the good news up front: What feels right to you is right. There

is no one-size-fits-all style of being powerful.

***

This book is a companion to Genuine Power—Seven Techniques to BePowerful in a Loud, Complicated World. That book includes dynamicpersonal stories illustrating common ways we get tripped up and seventechniques to become empowered, no matter what is going on around us.

Power in and of itself isn’t bad or wrong. It’s how we express it that goes

haywire. The next time you find yourself slipping into obsolete habits orhaving a knee-jerk reaction, use the techniques below to create a new versionof power that will help you connect, calibrate, and commit.

Technique #1. Use Power Tools with Care: Speaking your truth is just

one part of a bigger conversation.Genuine power isn’t wielding facts to get what you want or approaching

conversations from the viewpoint, “Speaking my truth is all that matters. Youneed to see things my way.”

Genuine power is using feedback, insight, and awareness to see how youaffect others.

Technique #2. Update to Confrontation 2.0: Reinterpret confrontation as

resolving differences .Genuine power isn’t having the last word to avoid hard conversations.Genuine power is transforming confrontation: taking it from the traditional

interpretation of shouting someone down to a personal version of workingthrough differences.

Technique #3. Fix the Foundation: Build your foundation on the depth of

your character, not what you accomplish.Genuine power isn’t based on completing your to-do list or being in

charge. The “what”—whatever you accomplish, whatever your title,whatever you own—is always temporary.

Genuine power is showing yourself compassion, understanding that yourworth emanates from within.

Technique #4. Control the Burn: Transform frantic into focus.Genuine power isn’t the ability to manage wild extremes.Genuine power is calm, confident, and steady. Play the long game,

combining your head and heart to create a wise, cohesive vision for your life. Technique #5. Make “Be Appropriate” Your Motto: Refine the art of

action so that you know when to jump in or step back.Genuine power isn’t fixed, autocratic, or imitating someone else's style.Genuine power is in the flow. When you are sensitive to power dynamics,

understanding when to jump in or step back, you release the fear that poweronly works if “everyone is just like me.”

Technique #6. Blaze the Trail: Be the consistent leader of your life.Genuine power isn’t standing in someone else’s shadow or getting stuck in

overwhelming thoughts like, “Someone else can do this better,” or “I don’twant to be in charge.”

Genuine power is trusting your inner compass, making the best choicepossible in the moment, then adjusting as the situation unfolds.

Technique #7. Stop Directing Traffic: Face any outcome with poise and

confidence.Genuine power isn’t using your emotions, intellect, or influence to force a

certain result.Genuine power is the confidence to know that you can handle whatever

Life throws your way. If you run into trouble, use the three Cs of the Soul Boss Principles as your

backstop.

1. Connect head and heart by relying on your instincts as much as your

intellect2. Calibrate your behavior to a changing world with authenticity3. Commit to practicing insight, wisdom, and compassion

Outdated power thrives by tearing other people down, chasing money and

possessions, or living behind a mask of swagger and narcissism. Althoughthose short-run choices might seem to make sense, they’re terribleinvestments. They inevitably fade or end as power dynamics change. That’swhy people and institutions are currently crumbling all around us.

Genuine power has ease, contentment, and humility. It requires that you let

the light in your heart shine, whether you envision that light as an oceansidebonfire or a single candle in the window.

There are many ways to express genuine power. What is your way?

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Why You Should Use Affirmations You can build on the seven Genuine Power Techniques by using

affirmative statements throughout the day. Affirmations are short, encouraging statements that help shift your

attitudes and actions. They can serve as an empowering tool to release fears,outworn beliefs, and bad experiences.

Think of affirmations like bathing after a long day of travel. On one of my

worst trips, the flight was delayed six times. When I got on the plane threehours later, the guy next to me accidentally tipped his iced coffee onto mylap. Then there was gum on the floor of the shuttle. You can imagine howhappy I was to finally reach my hotel room. As soon as the warm water hitmy skin, I felt like a new person.

Affirmations are a way to wash off the grit and grime we pick up in our

minds over time. You can use affirmations as a tool to help you overlook anasty comment from someone at the office. Or they can help dismantlepatterns that stick to you like gum on your shoe, such as the habit of alwaysworking for a critical manager. And they are a way to discover and finallyheal unspoken emotions that used to leave you feeling scared and vulnerable.

There are many ways to express affirmations. Some people write them by

hand. Others swear by the practice of saying them out loud. Or you couldrecord and listen back to declarations you create—that's the ultimatepersonalization. You can say them once, but they’ll really sink in if you usethem several times in a row or at different times during the day. A guidelineis to repeat the affirmation until you feel a genuine inner transformation.

You should also consider the "quiet approach" that has worked well for

me. I've found affirmations to be just as effective when I use them silently.When you take the quiet approach, affirmations become a real-time,wherever-you-are practice.

Here’s how an affirmation could work for you. You might replace the

negative script of Bad things always happen to me that pops into your headwhen you’re caught in line at the grocery store or sitting in traffic to thepositive thought of I know how to stay in peace. You could scan one of theaffirmations lists in this book on your phone to calm your nerves before a big

meeting. Or center yourself after a spat with a family member by hacking anaffirmation on the list down to a single word such as peace, calm, or wisdom,or another word that will shift how you’re feeling.

It's your decision whether you use only one method or combine all the

choices above. After all, you're the boss of you. There is only one hard andfast rule necessary for success—use affirmations every day.

Are you still skeptical about this practice? You might be like a friend of

mine who joked, “What—you just tell yourself something over and over?” Fair enough. However, even Albert Einstein recognized the power of the subconscious,

saying, “Have the courage to take your own thoughts seriously, for they willshape you.” So, let’s reboot affirmations, so they’re relevant, and what’smore, effective.

7 Blocks to Successful Affirmations What’s the biggest gripe people have about affirmations? “They don’t

work.” Instead of avoiding that conversation, let’s run straight at it. Below you’ll find seven common blocks which may be in your way to

having success with affirmations. Let’s demolish them, one by one.

Block #1: You have tunnel vision. Many people think of affirmationsas a magical “if/then” gumball machine. Like, “If I write this affirmation 500times, I’m sure to get that job.” But adopting that outlook is like puttingblinders on. There may be an even better job available for you, except youcan’t see it or prepare for it because you've already written the ending to yourstory.

Affirmations are a way to open your heart and mind to possibilities. When

you use them to release rigid thinking and fixed outcomes, affirmations canhelp you sidestep crazy cultural programming, behaviors driven by poor self-esteem, and anything you feel compelled to stir up and crank up.

Affirmations don’t work when you use them as an absolute.Affirmations work when you see them as the first step in endless

possibilities and solutions.

Block #2: You have silent scripts undermining your program.Creating affirmations is like writing a brilliant computer program. You maythink it’s going to work flawlessly, and then find out it can’t install becauseyour memory is filled with harmful plug-ins you’ve loaded along the way.

We all have negative experiences that attach themselves to us. That’s why

you must go beyond writing a daily goal list or spending a few minutes inmeditation and become aware of and actively uninstall old thoughts andfeelings. Put a check mark beside any of the thoughts below if it ever pops upwhen you’re walking down the hall, commuting to work, or hanging out athome. Any of these could be blocking your success.

Disappointment: “There’s no use in trying. It didn’t work out before.”Resentment: “Why does someone else get all the good breaks?”Anger: “This isn’t fair. I always have to work harder than everyone else.”Rejection: “No one gets me,” or “I have trouble connecting with people.

People always dump on me and betray me.”Uncertainty: “I should get going, but I’m not motivated” or “I’ll get to that

later.” Affirmations don’t work when your head and heart are filled with outworn

programming.Affirmations work when you have a clear mental and emotional pipeline.

Block #3: You’re trying to skip to the end. Avoid the temptation toskip to the end and only affirm something massive, like running a billion-dollar company. Put yourself in the picture where you flourish during everyphase of getting there. For example, it’s wonderful to affirm an amazing newjob, but declare that you’re going to design a killer resume and sail throughthe interview, too. Then get to it!

Affirmations don’t work if you don’t back up your words with deeds.Affirmations work when you actively engage.

Block #4: You’re saying someone else’s affirmations. Let me guess—you've tried to power your way through affirmations, but in the back ofyour mind you're thinking, “Meh. I don't care whether this happens or not.”That’s the moment to admit you may be affirming someone else’s version ofhow your life should be. A weak declaration of “I am a successful doctor,” issure to fail when you’re running a highly charged plug-in of, “I’m only inmed school because it’s the family tradition. I really want to work in

fashion.” Affirmations don’t work if they don’t reflect the true you.Affirmations work when they are honest and fluid, changing as your

priorities change.

Block #5: Your affirmations don’t connect the dots to your outerworld. Affirmations can be a kind, healthy tool for holding ourselvesaccountable. It’s simple: When your walk matches your talk, you get results.

If you’re honest, “I am building sustainable wealth,” doesn’t line up with

spending $1,000 at Target every month. Likewise, your affirmation aboutcreating positive relationships applies to the new guy you’re dating, but italso means skipping the habit of sending that elegantly written, justifiableflame mail.

Affirmations don’t work if they are in a silo, away from your everyday life.Affirmations work when your words and actions align.

Block #6: You quit when bad things happened. Affirmations aren’t ashield against pain, disappointment, or having to handle hard things—that’spart of everyone’s experience. What they can do is help you stay on trackduring the hard seasons of life, because they take you above only what youcan see or prove and remind you about the essentials.

Affirmations don’t work when you use them now and then.Affirmations work when you use them as a daily North Star.

Block #7: You forgot to celebrate your successes. Saying

affirmations is like going to the gym, eating well, or weeding your garden—it’s a practice. Like exercise, it’s going to take some time to see results. So,tell yourself, “Great job!” “Well done!” and “Thank you!” every time you seethe smallest change. You are making progress.

Affirmations work when you celebrate small starts.Affirmations don’t work with a “that’s not good enough” outlook.

In the next chapter, you can work through the entire list of 101 genuine

power affirmations or laser focus on the relevant soft skill category. Yourchoices are adaptability, creativity, decision making, empathy, and healthyself-confidence.

And the next time doubt rears its ugly head, or someone criticizes you,

shift the conversation back to genuine power by using these fallbacksentences:

Change “controlling” to “I am competent.”Change “domineering” to “I am confident.”Change “weak” to “I come from the heart.”Change “arrogant” to “I am wise and experienced.”Change “intimidating” to “I am trustworthy.”

When you take a mindful approach to the language you’re using, miracles

can happen. Let's get started!

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101 Genuine Power Affirmations List

Adaptability1. I am resilient. I don't get derailed when struggles arise—I bounce

back!2. I know how to stay in peace, even when I'm dealing with difficult

people.3. I stand up for myself without aggravating the situation.4. When I feel stressed, I change my circumstances like <food, exercise,

rest>.5. I adapt to situations without taking on other people's negative

attitudes or worries.6. I love learning. It's easy for me to pick up new ways of doing things.7. I build on what's working and recognize what needs to change.8. When I feel myself slipping into old habits or thoughts, I course

correct.9. I let go of a "things should be different" mentality and accept things

as they are.10. I reset overwhelming projects by breaking them down into

manageable, realistic steps.11. I work through differences in a positive way. Resolving

disagreements is a natural part of life.12. I adjust my delivery without losing the message. I can talk to anyone.13. I can make smart concessions without losing my personal power.14. When I have a bad day, I remember this is only one day in a long

journey. I keep moving forward.15. I always keep my mind open to better solutions.16. I have excellent timing. I know when it’s time to dig deep or quit.17. Life shapes me, but it doesn't break me.18. It is easy for me to calibrate my words and actions to fit every

situation.19. There are many ways to show genuine power. I can collaborate with

anyone.20. Life is, by nature, imperfect and unpredictable, and this doesn’t

bother me. I go with the flow!

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Creativity1. I know my values and priorities. I'm self-made!2. I use my energy wisely. I am calm, confident, and consistent.3. I use self-awareness to know what triggers or irritates me.4. I keep things in perspective.5. I am an expert in some things and a beginner in others.6. There is excellence in everything I do. I'm an original!7. I am an unlimited person, with unlimited imagination and energy.8. I'm focused and open minded. I know what is true for me.9. I see small tasks as well as the big picture.

10. I make a plan for the future. I take responsibility for my security.11. I use my creativity to hack outdated processes. I'm smart and

efficient.12. I design practical, realistic solutions that benefit everyone.13. I have a bright, agile mind. I think on my feet!14. It is easy for me to be in charge. I love choosing the direction of my

life.15. It is easy for me to concentrate. I power through projects in record

time!16. Equally powerful people surround me. We are all working in our

strengths.17. I give my mind and body a break. When I take a break, I am more

grounded, productive, and creative.18. I am a person of imagination and action.19. I am aligned with the positive—positive people, positive choices, and

positive results.20. People appreciate my dynamic, creative personality.

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Decision Making1. I connect with my instincts to see the next, right action. I know when

to hit the gas or tap the brakes.2. I trust my instincts. I stop second-guessing myself.3. I may not have the perfect answer yet, but I keep going.4. It is easy for me to make real-time decisions. My actions have

impact!5. I am courageous and honest, seeing situations clearly and taking

appropriate actions.6. I find trusted partners to help me navigate challenging situations. I

don't go it alone.7. I make hard choices with honor and integrity. I'm trustworthy.8. I release any anxiety about the future. I will know what to do when

the time comes.9. I allow my mind and body to relax—there’s no rush.

10. I let go of any fears that stop me from taking action.11. I release the need to know all the steps. Taking one step at a time is

enough.12. I instinctively know what is true and what is not. I quickly sort fact

from fiction.13. I quickly see and prioritize the issues at hand.14. It is easy for me to see what is most important. I keep my priorities

straight.15. I pay attention to details and get the necessary information before I

make choices.16. I make my best decisions when my mind is free from distractions.17. It is as easy for me to follow through as it is for me to start. I get

things done!18. I trust my inner compass. I instinctively know what’s right for me.19. I know when to make small decisions or take big leaps.20. My profound, consistent power comes from making shrewd

decisions.

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Empathy1. I express power from the heart.2. I know how to meet people where they are.3. When an old pattern or habit comes up, I notice it and let it go. I

resist the urge to fall back.4. I release any fear or anxiety causing tension. I am in the flow.5. I am kind and trustworthy. I use power to create reasonable solutions.6. I release criticizing others. I give and receive grace freely.7. It's all right for me to move on if any person, place or thing doesn't

feel right to me.8. I recharge with optimistic people and positive habits.9. I consider the perspective of the other person before I respond.

10. I speak my truth with wisdom and compassion.11. When things don’t go according to plan, I kindly tell myself, “Oh

well!” “Live and learn,” or “Next!”12. I can handle whatever happens. Everyone has setbacks.13. I use feedback to understand how I affect others.14. I know how to have positive interactions with anyone, at any level.15. I show myself compassion. If I feel controlling, I know it's simply a

sign that I am afraid.16. I know when to take a time out. I don’t rush big decisions or pressure

myself to have instant answers.17. Daily progress is its own kind of success. I release the need to

demand perfection from myself and others.18. “Different” isn’t the same as “wrong.” I show and receive tolerance

wherever I go.19. I can be empowered and still rely on the help, love, and support of

others.20. I act with humility, knowing how to be fully present with others.

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Healthy Self-Confidence1. I am valuable and capable. I am an asset to every situation.2. I take my power back from draining circumstances. I am the boss of

me!3. I am a competent person. I do what is necessary to equip myself to

have the life I want.4. I make wise decisions. I trust myself to make right choices.5. I know I can handle any outcome, even when I don’t get my way. I

am fearless.6. I let problem people go past me. I am confident and at peace.7. I am at my most powerful when I am relaxed and clear-minded.8. I create an authentic life reflecting who I am right now and who I’d

like to be. I let the past go.9. I tell the truth with kindness. My word counts.

10. I show myself grace. Mistakes happen, and I learn from them.11. I take on appropriate tasks and responsibilities. I can receive love and

respect without being a fixer.12. My life is built on the depth of my character, not what I accomplish

or own.13. My self-worth emanates from within; I do not wait for external

recognition to be empowered.14. I am my best self when I express my true thoughts and feelings. It is

safe for me to be original.15. I refuse to be intimidated by bullies. I am at ease in all situations.16. I learn from others without losing my identity or values.17. I create a powerful, vibrant life that works beautifully!18. It is safe and comfortable for me to be powerful.19. I am committed to my personal growth.20. My version of genuine power is built on joy, compassion,

discernment and <insert your personal descriptions of genuinepower>.

21. Yes, I’m ready to be the creative, wise CEO of my life!

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Join the Soul Boss Community Reading this book is the first step to developing your Soul Boss style. The

real fun begins when you take the Soul Boss principles out into the world. So,join the Soul Boss Community by:

Becoming a subscriber at MichelleMains.com. You’ll receive a freeweekly article describing how to use the Soul Boss principles ineveryday life and have the inside track on new Soul Boss series bookreleases.Downloading the free companion book, Genuine Power—7Techniques to be Powerful in a Loud, Complicated World.Sharing your honest opinion by writing a review at Amazon.com.Mentioning the book on social media.Recommending this book to your small group, book club orworkplace.Recommending this book or the companion book to someone whomight be inspired by its message.

About the AuthorMichelle Mains shows people how to use soft skills to solve hard problemsbased on her experience as a negotiator in the Tech and Entertainmentindustries.

When she’s not writing or podcasting personal development content, you’llfind Michelle pursuing her other passions: seeing Broadway shows,perfecting the ideal tapas menu, and counting down rainy Pacific Northwestdays until the Summer Solstice.

Michelle resides in Seattle, Washington.