As iron sharpens iron, So a man sharpens the countenance of his

friend.

A Platform built to provide encouragement & motivation to Pastors & Leaders, for such a time

as this.Host: Bishop TM. Slowe.Tel # 347-636-0943Email: guyanaterry@hotmail.com

Topic: Counseling.

Presenter: Bishop Terry Slowe

What is Counseling?

Counseling takes place when a counselor sees a client in a private and confidential setting to explore a difficulty the client is having,

distress they may be experiencing or perhaps their dissatisfaction with life, or loss of a sense of direction and purpose.

It is always at the request of the client as no one can properly be 'sent' for counseling.

The Counselor and active listening.By listening attentively and patiently the

counselor can begin to perceive the difficulties from the client's point of view and can help them to see things more clearly

possibly from a different perspective.Counseling is a way of enabling choice or

change or of reducing confusion.  It does not involve giving advice or directing a client to take a particular course of action.

ARE YOU A GOOD LISTENER? Think about your relationships with the people in

your life. If asked, what would they say about how well you listen?

Do you often misunderstand people or only vaguely remember what people have said to you?

While listening, do you sometimes think about how you will respond to the person, judge what they are saying or what they are wearing, or start to daydream?

Do you frequently interrupt a speaker with an idea, suggestion, or to finish his/her sentence?

Do people seek you out to talk with?

HOW DO YOU LISTEN ACTIVELY? Hearing is the first step…pay close attention

to make sure you hear the message correctly. Interpretation: Make sure your

understanding of the speaker’s message is accurate

Evaluation. Ask questions, don’t jump to conclusions.

Respond. Let the speaker know that you have heard them.

Document available on improving listening skills.

In the counseling sessions The client can explore various aspects of their life

and feelings, talking about them freely and openly in a way that is rarely possible with friends or family.

Bottled up feelings such as anger, anxiety, grief and embarrassment can become very intense

counseling offers an opportunity to explore them, with the possibility of making them easier to understand.

The counselor will encourage the expression of feelings and as a result of their training will be able to accept and reflect the client's problems without becoming burdened by them.

Acceptance and respect for the client are essentials for a counselor enabling the client to look at many aspects of their

life, their relationships and themselves which they may not have considered or been able to face before.

The counselor may help the client to examine in detail the behavior or situations which are proving troublesome and to find an area where it would be possible to initiate some change as a start

The counselor may help the client to look at the options open to them and help them to decide the best for them.

some of the most common types of counseling specialties:Abortion counseling * E-mail counseling

* counseling the depress* Exit counseling* Career Counseling

Marriage counseling ,Trauma counseling * Mental Health Counselor

Suicide intervention , Pastoral counseling* Peer counseling, adolescent counseling

* Grief & trauma counseling Relationship counseling

* Rehabilitation counseling* School counselor

Sexual trauma counseling , HIV/ AIDS

Types of Mental IllnessesAccording to the National Institute for Mental

Illness, approximately 26.2 percent of adult Americans (over 1 in 4) are affected by some type of mental illness each year.

Here are some of the common mental illnesses that counselors work with:

Anxiety disorder Attention deficit disorder Bipolarity Borderline personality Depression Eating disorder

Generalized anxiety Obsessive-compulsive disorder Panic disorder

Post-traumatic stress disorder Social phobiaAntisocial personality disorderDown Syndrome

Christian Counseling - The DifferencesAs a general rule,both Christian counseling and secular

counseling share the same desire to help people overcome their problems, find meaning and joy in life, and become healthy and well-adjusted individuals,

both mentally and emotionallyMost counselors have graduate degrees and

have spent years learning their craft.

The word "counseling" can have multiple meanings,Including offering advice and encouragementsharing wisdom and skills,setting goals, resolving conflict, etc.Counselors usually probe the past (whether the

problem happened a week ago or during childhood) in an attempt to repair the present

Sometimes they explore possible affects of physical and chemical imbalances that can cause physiological problems.

A major part of counseling is resolving and restoring conflicts between people.

Christian Counseling - The FoundationChristian counseling is distinct from secular

counseling.Christian counseling rises to another dimension.In contrast to psychologically-integrated systems,Biblical counseling seeks to carefully discover those

areas in which a Christian may be disobedient to the principles and commands of Scripture and to help him learn how to lovingly submit to God's will,“

Christian counselors are able to do that because they have an absolute standard by which to measure their objectives and evaluate their counselee's lifestyle.

They see the Bible as the source of all truth. 2 Timothy 3:16-17 says,

All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work.“

a secular counselor has no absolutes with which to judge morals and the choices people make.

Christian counselors understand that the Bible has a lot of practical wisdom about human nature, marriage and family, human suffering, and so much more.

A Christian counselor's major strategyA Christian counselor's major strategy is to

help their clients substitute biblical truth for error as they go about their day-to-day lives.

They know that the truth, when known, believed, and obeyed, sets people free.

When people are set free, they are fulfilling their true calling.

Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free" (John 8:32).

Common areas

Emotional conflictConflict resolutionConflict resolution researchDispute resolutionProblem solvingCreative problem solvingMediationReconciliationDialogue

Family therapyResponsibility assumptionPsychotherapyInterpersonal communicationIntrapersonal communicationNonverbal communicationNonviolent communicationRelationship Education

Stress managementExperiential educationHuman Potential MovementSelf-helpHealth psychologySocial psychology (sociology)Social psychology (psychology)

Developing Trust in Christian Group Counseling Through ConfidentialityMost people seem to understand the common

phrase, "What is said here, stays here." But they may not truly understand the complexity of the phrase

Therefore, it is important that a facilitator fully understand the concept of confidentiality in order to explain it well

Confidentiality may need to be broken based on certain laws and ethics of the counseling field.

In general, it is the obligation of the group facilitator to protect the members' disclosures.

Counselor may be required by law to break confidentiality:

When a group member poses a danger to themselves or others.

When the counselor may believe that a participant who is under the age of 16 may be the victim of incest, rape, child abuse or some other noted crime.

If the group member may need special help from a person that has been taking care of them or is ministering to them.

When the counselor or group facilitator gets a subpoena to go to court.

Understanding Body LanguageIt's imperative that a facilitator have good

communication skillsAnd equally important is paying attention to the

nonverbal language of group members because body language can often speak louder than words.

: “Nonverbal communication is 2 to 7 times more significant in the persuasive process than words.

The perceived attitude related to public speaking is 7 percent verbal,

38 percent vocal and 55 percent facial.”

People have four ways of contact with the world,What we do (actions speak louder than

words)How we look (first impressions are lasting

images)What we say (verbal)How we say it (tone of voice, inflection)

Some examples of body language arecrossed arms,nodding, slouching,wiggling, smilingeye contact, tears and frowning.What people say with words should be

mirrored by their body languageAny inconsistencies provide facilitators with

opportunities to get to root issues of participants.

Christian Counseling Skill of Emotional PresenceChristian Counselors Should Offer Empathy

and Mercy with Jesus as the ModelEmotional presence literally means emotional

involvement in which Christian counselors open their hearts to those in need of their services

An effective Christian counselor feels touched by others' pain, struggles, temptations, victories and joys

They are connected to and care about the lives of clients. At the same time, they are not co-dependent with them, nor do they take on their emotional pain.

What does a Counselor usually do

Listen effectively to what you are saying Interrupt you when it is useful and appropriate Facilitate your untangling of thoughts, feelings and

worries about a situation Offer you their insights into how you act, think and

feel Teach, show and help you express your emotions in

your own way Teach, show and help you work out your own solutions

to problems Teach, show and help you accept what cannot be

changed

Key Ethical Issues In Christian Counseling These words apply to every aspect of our lives,

including our calling to be Christian counselorsadmonished to walk circumspectly (prudently,

cautiously, discreetly, watchfully) before both God and man.

We are regulated by both laws and ethical codes.

guidelines for this circumspect behavior are provided in the form of ethical codes.

While laws reveal the minimum standards that society will accept/tolerate;

Key Ethical Issues In Christian Counseling cont.

ethical codes establish the rules of conduct.Christian counselors are required to adhere to

the ethical codes of their profession.Ethical issues occur in various areas of

counseling;there are two areas that evoke the largest

number of complaints filed with ethical boards:issues of confidentiality and dual relationships.

*Dual RelationshipsTo the degree possible, counselors should

avoid entering into a dual relationship with a client.

A dual relationship is basically the participation in more than one role with the same client.

Most professional codes of ethics warn of the potential dangers of dual relationships

Counselors make every effort to avoid dual relationships with clients that could impair professional judgment or increase the risk of harm to clients.

(Examples of such relationships include, but are not limited tofamilial,social,financial,Businessor close personal relationships with clientsDual relationships involve the breakdown of proper

professional or ministerial boundaries.A dual relationship is where two or more roles are

mixed in a manner that can harm the counseling relationship

Examples include counseling plus personal, fraternal, business, financial, or sexual and romantic relations.

ExploitationExploiting a client for self-interests is the

underlying danger of the dual relationshipWhile exploitation can occur in numerous

ways, there are two specific factors that need to be addressed:

power differential and intimacyA misuse of this power (or the use of undue

influence) by the counselor is unethical.When a counselor enters into a therapeutic

relationship with a client, the counselor has an obligation to promote client well-being and not succumb to self-interests

Exploitation cont.One aspect of the counseling relationship that

opens the door to exploitation is intimacyIntimacy is defined as a close relationship marked

by the exclusive sharing of thoughts and feelings.In the therapeutic relationship the client discloses

information that in many cases has not previously been shared with anyone

Deeply personal sharing is encouraged to facilitate the healing process.

The counselor listens attentively and does not judge the client. The client responds with relief and admiration to this kind and caring person.

BoundariesIf the counselor does not have well-

established boundaries, he/she may be vulnerable to the client’s “admiration

In our society, intimacy is equated with sexual behavior—hence, the stage is set.