COURAGEOUS CONVERSATIONS

Session 34 (Track: Career Voyage)

. December 5-7, 2017 . RiverCentre, St. Paul, MN

. GTS Educational Events

Wednesday, December 6, 2016

2:00 – 3:30 PM

Presented by:

Scott Nelson

www.claritycentral.net 1

AboutYourPresenterScott Nelson is a leadership coach and corporate trainer. His emotional intelligence, authentic feedback and ability to teach personal awareness have been key to his success in developing others.

Scott’s coaching career began in 2005 as a certified leadership coach with the Ideal Coaching Academy. Since 2010, he has been a senior partner at Clarity Central based in Minneapolis, MN.

Scott has done post-graduate work in ontology following his BBA in Management. He started his career as a sales manager while also training and speaking on the topic of influential communication. He then began working at Mayo Clinic as a conflict resolution mediator.

Scott’s experience involves several industries as well as many different organizational and personality types. He has worked with people of incredibly varied backgrounds including Maasai tribes in Tanzania, executive leaders in corporations, and staff in health care, public schools, local and federal government.

Scott is also an adjunct faculty communications instructor for the University of St. Thomas Opus College of Business Executive Education.

Scott P. Nelson Certified Leadership Coach Senior Partner | Clarity Central 763-350-3886 scott@claritycentral.net www.claritycentral.net

“Communication is not what’s said; it’s what’s heard.”

www.claritycentral.net 2

CourageousConversations Sayingwhatneedstobesaid,totherightperson,attherighttime,intherightway.

Skilled• Doesn’tholdbackwhatneedstobesaid• Letspeopleknowwheretheystand• Facesuptoproblemsquicklyanddirectly

"Yourabilitytospeakupaboutissuesthatweighyoudowniscrucialtoyoursuccessatworkandinlife."-MaggieWarrell

Unskilled• Holdsbackintoughfeedbacksituations• Knowsbutdoesn’tdisclose• Avoidsconflictandcontroversy

“Allconflictweexperienceintheworld,isaconflictwithinourownselves.”-BrendaShoshanna

OverusedSkill• Fightstoomanybattles• Providestoomuchnegativefeedback• Overlycritical

“Courageiswhatittakestostandupandspeak.Courageisalsowhatittakestositdownandlisten.”-WinstonChurchill

(+) (+)

(-) (-)

PolarityMap 1

4

3

2

1)  Likable 2)  Friendly 3)  Cooperative 4)  Loyal 5)  Approachable

1)  Walk over 2)  Indecisive 3)  Can’t say “no” 4)  Not trusted 5)  Wishy washy

1)  Clear 2)  Direct 3)  Assertive 4)  Efficient 5)  Productive

1)  My way or the highway 2)  Pushy 3)  Alienate 4)  Bully 5)  Controlling

Forthright Accommodating

www.claritycentral.net 3

WIN

Result: Avoiding

How do I resolve conflict?

Do#Nothing#

Not ready, willing or able

WIN

Result: Forcing

“Breaking Glass”

My#Way#or#the#Highway#

How do I resolve conflict?

WIN

Result: Empowering

Collabora'on)

List

en, B

uild

Tru

st &

Rap

port

Move to Action

How do WE resolve conflict?

GivingFeedback/ResolvingConflict

www.claritycentral.net 4

UnderstandingResistance Behindeverycomplaintisahiddenrequest.

Ø Lackofunderstanding:“Idon’tgetit”

Whattodo:_______________

Ø Negativeemotionalreaction:“Idon’tlikeit”

Whattodo:_______________

Then:_______________

Ø Lackofrelationship:“Idon’ttrustyou”

Whattodo:_______________

RelationalLeadershipØ Engagingotherswithgenuineinteresttogainadditionalperspective,

sharesinsightsandshowsappreciation.

Ø Expressingideasconfidently,clearlyandconciselytobuildcommonunderstanding.

Ø Influencingothersthroughcharacter,competenceandcredibility.

www.claritycentral.net 5

FacilitatingEffectiveConversations

Curiosity:suspendyouropinionsandsolutions

Ø “Whatisyourcurrentsituationlike?”Ø “Whatareyouchallengedwithrightnow?”Ø “What’sworkingandwhat’snotworking?”

Clarification:clarifyandconfirmunderstanding

Ø “So,letmeseeifIunderstand...”Ø “Here’swhatIheardyousay...”Ø “Pleaseallowmetosummarize...”

Action:formagreementsandaccountability

Ø “Howwouldyouliketoproceed?”Ø “Whatdoyouseeasthenextstep?”Ø “Dowhat?Bywhen?Withwhom?”

Curiosity(askopen-endedquestions)

Clarification(getspecific)

Action