Crafting effective thesis statements and

elaborating points

A thesis statement An overview, or preview, of what you will be discussing in the essay

An interesting and engaging lead to catch the reader’s interest

Is not necessarily just one paragraph

May include quotations or textual evidence

Is not merely a summary of the story or text

Clearly presents the writer’s ideas and opinions

Previews the ideas to come

A thesis statement is your explanation of your view of the topic or your question. In your thesis statement, you MUST state your thoughts.

A thesis is your argument.

“George Hadley buys a house for his family that does everything for them. The house cooks, cleans, ties shoes, and even rocks the family to sleep at night. In the house is a so-called nursery that brings the children’s wishes to life.”

What is wrong with this thesis?

“George Hadley, the father in Ray Bradbury’s ‘the Veldt’, is a weak parent whose inability to discipline his children ultimately brings about his destruction.”

What is good about this thesis?

Fact or observation: People use many lawn chemicals.

Thesis: People are poisoning the environment with chemicals merely to keep their lawns clean.

Announcement: The thesis of this paper is the difficulty of solving our environmental problems.

Thesis: Solving our environmental problems is more difficult than many environmentalists believe.

Title: Social Security and Old Age.

Thesis: Continuing changes in the Social Security System makes it almost impossible to plan intelligently for one's retirement.

Broad: The American steel industry has many problems.

Narrow: The primary problem if the American steel industry is the lack of funds to renovate outdated plants and equipment.

Vague: Hemingway's war stories are very good.

Specific: Hemingway's stories helped create a new prose style by employing extensive dialogue, shorter sentences, and strong Anglo-Saxon words.

More than one main point: Stephen Hawking's physical disability has not prevented him from becoming a world-renowned physicist, and his book is the subject of a movie.

One Main point: Stephen Hawking's physical disability has not prevented him from becoming a world renowned physicist.

Give a preview of your main ideas“George’s mismanagement of his children

causes them to become spoiled and bratty. George further withdraws from the kids’ lives, causing a total lack of communication in the family; ignoring the necessity of family ties is George’s greatest flaw.”

A few adjectives go a long way! Is the author’s diction grim? Uplifting?

Oppressive? Foreboding? Invigorating? Is the author’s syntax elaborate?

Restrained? Complex? Is the imagery bleak? Violent? Inspiring?

Chilling? Overpowering? Find strong, specific adjectives: steer

clear of “good,” “bad,” “positive,” “negative,” etc.

Explain—what? How? Why?

Evidence—quotes and paraphrasing

Example

What?—the techniques used by the author, such as figurative language, rhetorical appeals (logos, ethos, pathos), and stylistic choices (diction, syntax, parallel structure)

How?—the effect of the techniques (what) upon the piece and the audience

Why?—the intent of the author

AVOID CIRCULAR REASONING! When explaining, make sure to analyze—tell the relationship of each technique to the overall effect.

“It is logos because it is logical,” does not analyze.

“His argument that he would not take her father’s money suggests logically that he would be a kind and considerate husband, sensitive to her feelings,” explains the effect of the logos upon our perception of the character.

Give examples“For example, George allows the children to use the nursery for ‘one more minute’ when they complain that he intends to shut it off for good.”

Explain any jargon or terms that the reader may not know.

Explain any ideas that the reader may not understand or that the reader may misunderstand.

“By ‘weak parent’, I mean to say that George too frequently gives in to his children, allowing them to run the family.”

Show how the character is like or unlike another character in the story in a specific way.

Compare to an outside character (book, movie, TV show).

“Like George, Lydia gives in to the children’s wishes. However, whereas George attempts to follow through with shutting the nursery, Lydia tells George that doing so would be ‘cruel’; she is clearly even weaker as a parent than is George.”