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RUNNING HEAD: CULTURE AND INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION

Culture and interpersonal communication

Interpersonal Messages, communication and relationship skills

Tarik Ocon

National University

Abstract

This paper explores chapter 2, culture and interpersonal communication, from Joesph DeVito`s

interpersonal messages. It discusses the role of culture, how culture differs from one another and

the forms and principles of intercultural communication. This text also includes discussion over

on online (Internet) and offline (non-Internet) relationships and their relationship to Computer-

mediated communication (CMC) as explored through an emerging globalized world. The

chapter, however, highlights cross-cultural communication as an important aspect of life for

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more reasons than just business. It looks at the benefits of understanding culture to better

understand ourselves and why people act as they do.

There are some definitions used to help explain culture for a more universal understanding. Such

terms suggested are: cultural assimilation, computer mediated communication CMC,

enculturation, acculturation, individualistic and collective cultures, to name a few amongst other

terms.

Culture and interpersonal communication are the hot topicsof the decade. We are in a world of

intercultural interaction; it is here and here to stay. It is now 2009, and the idea that a country can remain

independent from others or live purely in a self-serving nationalistic way is no longer a realistic option.

I found this reading to be interesting in its ability to simplify and define for us what I think is now

fairly common knowledge and an accepted idea; communicating with other cultures is necessary. We

Americans from the United States have and continue to benefit and profit from the interaction or use of

other cultures. Reading this chapter about the importance of culture was not new, shocking or even

controversial, but more of a confirmation that, yes, we need other cultures.

The concept of cultural assimilation is, however, a bit more controversial. Leave your native

culture and melt into the pot of America (DeVito, 2005a). For obvious reasons if a person can adapt to the

existing culture, language and lifestyle, there are financial, employment and personal gains that can be

had (DeVito, 2005b). Therefore, if there is a standard or set dominant culture, it makes life easier for

everyone. According to The New York Times Almanac (2005); the foreign-born population of the U.S is

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increasing by millions, coming from all countries by percentages approaching 30% or more. (Devito,

2005c,) This could make for a great barrier to commerce and daily interaction, as a result of language and

cultural differences, if everyone were to stay only within their own sub-culture. This is one concept the

author did not point out when talking about assimilation.

This text made me think about my personal experience as a teacher of English as a foreign

language. I have primary taught students of a homogenous culture and language. Many ask me if I knew

their language before leaving to teach in the country. I say, no, but that does not matter because I am not

teaching them their language, I am teaching them mine. This changes of course when I step outside of the

teaching realm and into the real life of daily survival. If I do not assimilate, I do not survive daily

necessities. Not to be too dramatic.

I do not feel that the author pointed out the various complications with concepts like assimilation.

A debate that persists in states like Texas and California with Hispanics is; do we provide bilingual

education? Those that agree are supporting a non-assimilation concept, where as those that do not are

arguing for assimilation. Both valid points until you ask the question: are English and Spanish the only

two languages that exist in these states? The answer is obviously, no. The problems of intercultural co-

existence are more complicated. Would those in favor of bi-lingual education also be in favor of

multilingual education; having teachers teach or separate teachers provided for all existing languages in

the school?

I believe that the real debate is about recognition. Sub-cultures want the majority culture to

acknowledge their legitimate existence; they want others to adopt a cultural perspective. A cultural

perspective does not imply that you accept all cultural practices or that all cultural practices are equal,

according to Hatfield & Rapson (1996), only acknowledge them with some cultural sensitivity and not a

forced societal demand to assimilate.

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As an individualistic culture we value the idea that the nuclear family is who is responsible for us,

not society; you are responsible to your own conscience, and responsibility is largely and individual

matter (DeVito, 2005d, p. 39). Collectivism is a taboo word.

Initially this appears to be a conservative view point, but what it is expressing is a micro form of

enculturation. You learn the values of your culture through the teaching of your parents, peer groups,

schools, religious institutions, media and government agencies (assuming that none of these favors a

specific view point or forces specific believes); this process is enculturation. (DeVito, 2005e,)

With this definition of the term, I think that a majority of American idealists would agree that

freedom to practice culture as you wish is a better form of living, not a society of forced assimilation. This

is not just for immigrants but also to protect the diversity of U.S Americans themselves, who live within

many sub-cultures despite being part of a collective dominant culture. So the question is, why do so many

become enraged when certain holidays or events are celebrated publicly? Some examples are;Columbus

Day, Christmas, and Easter. Is it the celebration; the government support of;or the frustration of being a

minority, dominated in majority culture? When communication is opened up over these issues what we

hear is how one culture is offending the other culture in support of, and vice versa with the protest against.

Communication breaks down because of the lack of Cultural perspective, sensitivity and recognition.

In a more democratic society with basic freedoms and rights it is difficult to force onto another

your own culture by law or government. So people use alternative methods, such as acculturation; which

Young Yun Kim (1988) refers to the processes by which a person`s culture is modified through direct

contact with or exposure to (say, mass media) another culture (DeVito, 2005f,) This was a really important

concept in this chapter, but the methods used and how this happened should be further examined.

It is through acculturation that the United States wins hands down. We, in the general sense of our

majority culture, do not need to force or manipulate laws to ensure acculturation. People from around the

world engage in it voluntarily. This typically happens by one, or all four of the tools of mass acculturation

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and assimilation. First: our entertainment; movies, TV, music, magazines, internet and technology are the

penetrators of this process; the first ones to expose our culture to another. This is why you can travel

across the world to a lost village in the mountains of Vietnam with no plumbing or roads and find a young

girl listening to Britney spears on a battery operated walkman (T. Quintana, personal communication,

2005). What comes next is the influx of business. You can go to Mexico, China and Canada and find Wal-

Mart or McDonald`s that will be just like home, almost. The number of native born English speakers is

relatively low as compared to the overall percentage of people in the world, and the majorities are from

the United States. However if you look at the number of countries that use English as the main form of

business communication or national languages it is overwhelmingly hands down, an English speaking

global world (Wikipedia.com, 2009). We bring in immigrants to live with us and assimilate; then let them

carry back home the ` American dream` the new cloths, technology, language and ideas, doing the work of

acculturation for us. And in the end, if none of those weapons of mass acculturation do the trick, we have

the world`s most powerful military to finally force cultural acceptance. Many say that wars are fought

over resources like: oil, gold, land, water etc; maybe, but I think wars are fought over cultural domination,

that is real power, and with that you have control over resources. We have won the cultural war.

How do we improve intercultural communication? Isolation is not an answer, neither is force.

Joseph DeVito (2005) stated in this chapter that: intercultural communication depends on the cultural

sensitivity of both individuals. Cultural sensitivity is an attitude and way of behaving in which you are

aware of and acknowledge cultural differences. (p.45) Unfortunately, I think many just have apathy; those

of us in the majority do not care because it doesn`t affect our lives directly.

`The highest result of education is tolerance. ` - Helen Keller

This quote says so much. To be educated is to be exposed to other ideas and see life differently,

to understand one another and realize that you are not the only one on earth. To travel and gain experience

is to confront your stereotypes and recognize differences and reduce over-attribution.

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Larry A. Samovar (2009), in Intercultural Communications, said that culture is: the rules for living

and functioning within a society…a shared meaning system found among those who speak the particular

language dialect. I live everyday in a similar situation, very few of my family and friends understand what

I am doing living in another country for such a long time. I live and work in Mexico and am married to a

Mexican woman. I am a gringo, for those that don`t know, this refers specifically to a person in the

United States that has the cultural mentality of: `American`; capitalist, democratic, a little arrogant,

materialistic and feels they are from a superior culture and has more opportunities and rights because of

where they are from or who they are. This definition does not refer to skin color, nationality, ethnicity or

social status, which is why it is possible for immigrantsto become gringos too.

With that being said, I get my education by living between two cultures. I am treated differently

everywhere I go because of who I am, or should I say how I look, and receive many comments, mostly

positive, about `my` country and culture. The majority of people are wrong with their ideas. They speak

of things that are picked up from movies and TV, but I have to constantly respond to them. After five

years of living here I have stopped trying to correct and clarify. This has given me a complex of how I act

toward others here, and how I criticize or compare different ways of life betweenthe two cultures.

Whether we like it or not it affects how we think about ourselves. I call it the celebrity syndrome: after

enough time of people telling you come from a better place and your life and culture is better, you cannot

help but start to believeit. You start to act like it. I go through culture shock the one time a year I return to

The States where I am treated the same as others, or worse not noticed at all. This is a difficult concept to

truly understand unless you have lived in a similar situation for a significant amount of time. All I can say

is; I have lived, seen, bonded and communicated with another culture to the point of no longer being a

passive observer but an active participant.

References

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DeVito J.A (2005a). Interpersonal messages, communication and relationship skills. Pearson

Education, Inc. (p.32) The importance of culture

DeVito J.A (2005b). Interpersonal messages, communication and relationship skills. Pearson

Education, Inc. (p.32) The importance of culture

DeVito J.A (2005c). Interpersonal messages, communication and relationship skills. Pearson

Education, Inc. (p.32) The importance of culture

DeVito J.A (2005d). Interpersonal messages, communication and relationship skills. Pearson

Education, Inc. (p.39) Individualist and Collectivist Cultures

DeVito J.A (2005e). Interpersonal messages, communication and relationship skills. Pearson

Education, Inc. (p.35) Enculturation and Acculturation

DeVito J.A (2005f). Interpersonal messages, communication and relationship skills. Pearson

Education, Inc. (p.36) Enculturation and Acculturation

DeVito J.A (2005g). Interpersonal messages, communication and relationship skills. Pearson

Education, Inc. (p.45) Improving intercultural Communication

DeVito J.A (2005h). Interpersonal messages, communication and relationship skills. Pearson

Education, Inc. (p.34) Quotation of Helen Keller, The Aim of a Cultural Perspective

Hatfield, E., & Rapson, R.L. (1996). Love and sex: Cross-cultural perspectives. Boston: Allyn &

Bacon

Quintana T. (2005) Personal communication, interview of travels through Southeast Asia.

Wikipedia.com (2009) List of countries where English is an official language.

Kim, Y.Y. (1988). Communication and acculturation. In L.A. Samovar & R.E. Porter (eds.),

Intercultural communication: A reader (5th ed., pp. 344-354). Belmont, CA: Wadsworth