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By AARON SEKHRISTAFF WRITER

Douglas Oberhelman, CEO andchairman of Caterpillar Inc., empha-sized the long-term planning neces-sary to run his company in contrast

with the start-up mindset of SiliconValley in a speech Thursday night inCemex Auditorium.

We have to start planning now forthe short, medium and long-term sowe can be around for another 85years, Oberhelman said. We have todeal with 10-year product cycles. Canyou even imagine that happeningover here?

Outside the auditorium, a handfulof students protested Oberhelmanspresence on campus and Caterpillarsbusiness practices in the Middle East.

While introducing Oberhelman,Graduate School of Business (GSB)Dean Garth Saloner credited Cater-pillar Inc. an 85-year-old companythat is currently the worlds largestproducer of construction and miningequipment, diesel and natural gas en-gines, and industrial gas turbines with having its fingers on the pulse ofthe world.

If t t h i f

INTERMISSION/INSERT

MIB3, RETRO

SPORTS/6

KLAHN ACADEMYBradley Klahn advancesto NCAA Sweet Sixteen

Tomorrow

Partly Sunny

66 49

Today

Partly Cloudy

66 49

A n I n d e p e n d e n t P u b l i c a t i o nwww.stanforddaily.com

The Stanford DailyTFRIDAY Volume 241

May 25, 2012 Issue 68

Akeen Valdez escorted from campus

more than two months after incidentBy BRENDAN OBYRNE AND KURT CHIRBAS

On Feb. 15, a Toyon residential staff member alerted twoUniversity officials that Akeen Valdez, who is not a Stanford stu-dent but was living in Toyon with a resident, had been accusedof sexual assault by a female Toyon resident. It would be morethan a month before a stay-away letter was issued againstValdez, and more than two months before he would be escortedoff campus by University officials.

The staff member reported the incident to the ResidenceDean of Toyon and Stern Hall, Arcadio Morales, and Dean of

Sexual Assault Angela Exson on Feb. 15, two days after the al-leged assault occurred. University officials suspected he waslodging in Sigma Chi and Florence Moore Hall (FloMo) in ad-dition to Toyon.

No further contact between the Toyon staff member and ad-ministrators occurred until two weeks later, on Feb. 28, whenValdez was again spotted in Toyon, after he and his Stanford-student host were told by the staff member that Valdez wouldnot be allowed back in the dorm. The following day, this samestaff member requested a meeting with Morales, at which pointMorales said that he had informed staff at Sigma Chi to look outfor Valdez, that FloMo was too large of a hall to contact and thathe thought that Valdez would stay away from Toyon after beingasked to do so by the staff member.

Scott Galey12, a resident assistant (RA) of Sigma Chi, toldThe Daily he does not recall receiving a phone call or alert fromMorales or any other University official. Galey was not aware ofValdez or any other lodger in Sigma Chi.

Guests who stay for three consecutive days or five days in asingle quarter in Stanford housing are required to register withthe Stanford Housing front desk, according to guest policy.Housing strengthened policies preventing illegal lodgers fol-lowing an incident that occurred several years ago, according

Lodger accusedof sexual assault

SPEAKERS & EVENTS

CaterpillarCEO talks

leadership

Oberhelman discusses strategicimportance of emerging markets

MEHMET INONU/The Stanford Daily

Caterpillar CEO Douglas Oberhelman discussed the long-term planning

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bills by getting rid of nationstates, getting rid of these juris-dictional boundaries, discontinu-ities in the global economy.

Rodrik pointed to ethical ar-guments by moral cosmopoli-tans, who question the validityof national distinctions.

Its a totally artificial bound-ary, Rodrik said, paraphrasingthe arguments of his critics.Moreover, its becoming moreand more artificial in terms of im-

provements in communicationand transportation technolo-gies.

Paradoxically, nation statesboth enable and impede global-ization by providing the institu-tions required by global tradewhile introducing regulatory bar-riers, Rodrik said.

This paradox requires us tomanage the role of the nationstate, to maintain this balance in away, because the danger of tryingto push markets beyond what the

existing regulatory agents cansupport is that we get too muchmarkets, too little governments,and therefore a lot of instability,Rodrik said, highlighting the2008 global financial collapse asevidence that nation states are re-quired to pick up the pieces aftereconomic crises.

It was governments thatstepped in to bail out the banks, to

provide the safety nets and pumpup demand and print the money,Rodrik said. Most typically, in theEuro Zone, weve seen how whatseems to be a transnationalist proj-ect depends so much on the choic-es that individual nation statesmake, and ultimately all the re-sponsibility for everything that hasgone wrong and for the littlethat has gone right has beenlaid at the feet of national politi-cians.

Earlier in the day, Rodrikspoke to eight students inCrothers Memorial Hall throughthe dorms Global Citizenshipprogram, in a discussion moder-ated by Ishan Nath 12.

Rodrik presented data show-ing that Europeans surveyedidentified only slightly more ascitizens of the European Unionthan as global citizens. The EuroZone debt crisis was the topic ofnumerous audience queries inthe question-and-answer sessionthat followed Rodriks lecture.

The fact that certainly Ger-mans dont feel they are the samepolitical community as theGreeks and that difference

creates an apparently insur-mountable obstacle to the cre-ation of Europe-wide institu-tions, that makes the economicand financial integration projectsunsustainable, Rodrik said. Eu-rope is going through preciselythe tensions that Ive tried toidentify here, and is doing it in avery vivid and real-time kind offashion.

One student audience mem-ber criticized the events out-reach.

The talk was almost identicalto other Ethics in Society events,said audience member Joe Ri-vano Barros 14. Few studentswere in the audience, and fewerstill were asking questions, withonly faculty or gray-haired localsremotely engaging with thespeaker.

It was interesting that he did-nt really question the nation stateas a construct, he added, butstuck to the question of the role ofthe nation state, given that its hereto stay, in a globalized world.

Contact Charlotte Wayne at crwayne@stanford.edu.

RODRIKContinued from front page

By ALICE PHILLIPSDESK EDITOR

This report covers a selectionof incidents from May 15through May 21 as recorded inthe Stanford Department ofPublic Safety bulletin.

TUESDAY, MAY 15

IA bike was stolen from out-side of Soto in Wilbur Hall be-tween 1:30 a.m. and 8:40 a.m.

I An iPad was stolen from Hil-lel between 3 a.m. and 12 p.m.

IA bike was stolen from out-side of the Escondido V highrise between 1 p.m. and 6:30p.m.

IA laptop was stolen from La-gunita Dining between 6:30p.m. and 6:35 p.m.

WEDNESDAY, MAY 16

IA bike was stolen from out-side of Adams House be-

tween 12:01 a.m. on May 15and 8:45 a.m. on May 16.

IA bike was stolen from out-side of Loro in FlorenceMoore Hall between 8 p.m. onMay 14 and 11:45 a.m. on May16.

THURSDAY, MAY 17

INo incidents were reported.

FRIDAY, MAY 18

IA bike was stolen from infront of Florence Moore Hallbetween 10 p.m. on May 16and 9 a.m. on May 18.

ITwo males were transportedto the San Jose Main Jail andbooked for vandalism nearthe intersection of ArguelloWay and Serra Street at 2:38p.m.

IA male was cited and released

for being a minor in posses-

sion of alcohol at 9:30 p.m.near 675 Lomita Drive.

I

A female was transported tothe San Jose Main Jail andbooked for being publicly in-toxicated near the intersec-tion of Governors Avenueand Campus Drive West at ap-proximately 11:15 p.m.

SATURDAY, MAY 19

IA male was transported to theSan Jose Main Jail and bookedfor being publicly intoxicatednear the intersection of Lane A

and Nathan Abbott Way at12:26 a.m.

IA female was cited and re-leased for being a minor inpossession of alcohol near theintersection of Lane A andCampus Drive at 12:45 a.m.

IA bike wheel was vandalizedon a bike parked outside ofGriffin House between 11p.m. the previous night and8:45 a.m.

IA male was transported to theSan Jose Main Jail andbooked for being publicly in-toxicated at 8 p.m. nearGalvez Field.

IA male was cited and releasedfor being a minor in posses-sion of alcohol at 11:20 p.m. onMayfield Drive.

IA male was cited and releasedfor being a minor in posses-

sion of alcohol at 11:50 p.m. onMayfield Drive.

SUNDAY, MAY 20

IAn iPhone was stolen fromLantana between 8:45 p.m.and 9:45 p.m.

MONDAY, MAY 21

IA bike was stolen from out-side of Haus Mitteleuropa be-tween 8 p.m. on May 19 and 10

a.m. on May 21.

2N Friday, May 25, 2012 The Stanford Daily

POLICE BLOTTER

unconventional picks. In a Uni-versity press release, Applebaumsaid his selections were inspiredby the opening of the Bing Con-cert Hall, which is set to open itsdoors in January. Applebaumsaid he hopes the texts will in-spire students to ask broaderquestions about where art ismade, what art is important andwho should decide.

In selecting these texts, Pro-fessor Applebaum hopes the di-versity of formats encourages stu-dents to think about how ideas areexpressed differently by the writ-ten word, in filmic presentation,through music, or by using con-temporary social media, saidJulie Lythcott-Haims 89, dean ofFreshman and UndergraduateAdvising, in the University pressrelease. Lythcott-Haims pio-neered the Three Books program,now in its ninth year.

This will be the first year thatnon-printed texts have been se-lected. Past picks have included

Junot Diazs The Brief WondrousLife of Oscar Wao in 2008, Mal-colm Gladwells Outliers in 2009and Geraldine Brooks March in2011.

The authors of the three textswill participate in a panel discus-sion at the conclusion of New Stu-dent Orientation. This years dis-cussion, moderated by Apple-baum, will take place on Sept. 23in Memorial Auditorium. A livetelecast of the event in Pigott The-ater will be open to the broaderStanford community.

Kurt Chirbas

BRIEFContinued from front page

Letters to MichelleLODGERContinued from front page

Europe is going through precisely the

tensions Ive tried to identify here. DANI RODRIK,Harvard professor

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The Stanford Daily Friday, May 25, 2012N 3

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4N Friday, May 25, 2012 The Stanford Daily

OPINIONSFailure and accountability:NomCom and the future

of the ASSU

EDITORIAL

One of the central func-tions of the ASSU is to actas a liaison between the

student body and the administra-tion, a role exemplified by the ex-istence of the Nominations Com-mission, or NomCom. NomComis responsible for screening andappointing 40 student represen-tatives to committees across cam-

pus, including committees to theBoard of Trustees and FacultySenate. This critical function isone of the primary mechanismsthrough which student voices canbe heard in administrative con-versations about a variety of top-ics from academics to judicial af-fairs. Yet last week, it was re-vealed that a NomCom for the2012-2013 school year had neverbeen assembled, and the ensuing

crisis offers a case study on the fu-ture of the ASSU: its failures, itsstrengths and where it can gofrom here.

Let us first pause and considerthe magnitude of the NomComproblem, which spans multiplegenerations of ASSU leadership.A new NomCom was never re-cruited because of the assump-tion that a proposed revised con-stitution, which reformed theNomCom process, would pass.When it never went to ballot, thisassumption no longer held, andyet an interim committee wasnever established. The 14thASSU Senate debated their lim-ited options at a May 16 meetingwith the ultimate decision to re-vive the 2011-2012 NomCom inorder to fill 40 committee spots

ASSU because they perceivemany of its actions as self-serving,disconnected and inefficient.These claims may not be entirelyaccurate indeed, the majorityof the ASSU is hard-working andinvested in the student body but we do believe that they sum-marize the sources of studentfrustration. Parliamentary proce-

dure and the rules of debate areundoubtedly important, butwhen students see senators argu-ing over bylaws instead of pro-posing creative solutions to aproblem, the crisis of confidencecontinues. Much of the problemis one of perception. It may bethat in debating the substance ofthe bylaws, ASSU senators areactively tackling the problem athand. However, thats not some-

thing that translates into the stu-dent bodys consciousness.Our advice to the 2012-2013

ASSU is threefold: Focus on tan-gible results, communicate thoseresults to your peers and most im-portantly, take responsibility foryour mistakes. The first twopieces of advice are self-evidentin light of the NomCom contro-versy: Many students wereshocked to hear that NomCom,which is traditionally assembledin February or March, languisheduntil mid-May with a June dead-linelooming.

The third piece of advice admitting shortcomings isthe most important. With theNomCom issue, it seemed thatevery member of the ASSU witha stake past and present was

Managing Editors

The Stanford DailyE s t a b l i s h e d 1 8 9 2 A N I N D E P E N D E N T N E W S P A P E R I n c o r p o r a t e d 1 9 7 3

Brendan OByrneDeputy Editor

Kurt Chirbas & Billy GallagherManaging Editors of News

Jack BlanchatManaging Editor of Sports

Marwa FaragManaging Editor of Features

Sasha ArijantoManaging Editor of Intermission

Mehmet InonuManaging Editor of Photography

Amanda AchColumns Editor

Willa BrockHead Copy Editor

Serenity NguyenHead Graphics Editor

Alex AlifimoffWeb and Multimedia Editor

Nate AdamsMultimedia Director

Molly Vorwerck & Zach ZimmermanStaff Development

Board of Directors

Margaret RawsonPresident and Editor in Chief

Anna SchuesslerChief Operating Officer

Sam Svoboda

Vice President of Advertising

Theodore L. Glasser

Michael Londgren

Robert Michitarian

Nate Adams

Tenzin Seldon

Rich Jaroslovsky

Contacting The Daily: Section editors can be reached at (650) 721-5815 from 7 p.m. to 12 a.m. The Advertising Department can bereached at (650) 721-5803, and the Classified Advertising Department can be reached at (650) 721-5801 during normal businesshours. Send letters to the editor to eic@stanforddaily.com, op-eds to editorial@stanforddaily.com and photos or videos to multi-

media@stanforddaily.com. Op-eds are capped at 700 words and letters are capped at 500 words.

Tonights Desk Editors

Kurt ChirbasNews Editor

George ChenSports Editor

Alisa Royer

Photo Editor

Charlotte WayneCopy Editor

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The Stanford Daily Friday, May 25, 2012N 5

school? That sounds good too. Allof these things are logical nextsteps after Stanford because, likeStanford, theyre recognizable,big names.

So when, as a graduating stu-dent from Stanford, your nextdestination also has an impres-sive title, your response will bepretty well received. And youllspeak out with gusto because,well, its gratifying to elicit a fewoohs and ahhs from peoplewhen you tell them what youredoing after graduation. Wow,youre working at Apple! orCongratulations on the PeaceCorps!

The next category is thosepeople who have a job lined up,but its not the most recognizable.Theyre working at a smallercompany that hasnt quite caughtthe public eye yet.

Hey, whatre you doing nextyear?

Im working at [insert name

of company no ones heard of ex-cept its 15 employees]!Oh . . . right. What does [in-

sert name of company] do? Theother person may already be los-ing interest, but they have to stickit out at this point. You respond,and they nod knowingly and try-ing to look excited for you. Butbecause they still have no cluewhat this company (nonprofit) isor what it really does, this excite-ment can only go so far.

And so you find that these stu-

dents are a little less outspokenabout their future careers. If theyknow that a simple Whatre youdoing next year? will require alengthy explanation, they wontsay anything unless asked. Havingto describe your future job, andsubtly justify why its worth yourtime and interest takes energy.

It also comes with some judg-ment. When someone hasnt

heard of the place youre going towork at, you risk getting thatvaguely disappointed look, thelook that silently says, Why isntthis Stanford grad working atsomeplace Ive heard of?

Then there are those who stilldont know what theyre doingnext year. Maybe theyve had afew rejections from their topchoices, or maybe their jobsearch process started a bit late.For them, the repetitions of Sowhatre you doing next year?become more and more painfuleach time.

Want to make their lives easi-er? When someone answers thequestion with, I actually dontknow yet, theres no need togasp in shock. Theres also noneed to flood the person with aseries of job recommendationsand pieces of advice. And theywont feel better if you say some-thing like, Oh! Dont worry, Iknow a whole bunch of gradswho didnt have a job untilmonths after graduation! Youllfind something.

No, thats not comforting orhelpful. If you really want to help,actually offer to help. Ask about

their interests and try to connectthem to a promising opportunity.Is that more than you wanted todo? Then theres no need to dwellon the topic. The student in ques-tion wont mind if their loomingunemployment isnt the subjectof conversation.

And as for students: If yourfuture is still undetermined, youcan always spice up your answerto the question. Say that youllbe taking some time off to travel(to your home). Or that youre

going to take a few months tofinish your book (after you startit). Or that youre going to foundyour own company (a job-seek-ing service for yourself). Thequestioner will get the point, andhopefully theyll move on.

Want to ask Miriam what shesdoing next year? If you must, emailher at melloram@stanford.edu.

MARKSContinued from page 4

in individual minds.Still, if you were to ask an indi-

vidual if they would prefer tohave an increased likelihood ofbeing hit by a car or if they want-

d h d d

GOULDContinued from page 4 There is tensionwithin individuals

when it comes to

th li ti f

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6N Friday, May 25, 2012 The Stanford Daily

By JOSEPH BEYDADESK EDITOR

One of the closest Pac-12 baseball races in

recent memory has come down to its finalweekend, and No. 11 Stanford is currently onthe outside looking in when it comes to win-ning the conference or hosting a Super Re-gional.

That could change in a hurry for the Cardi-nal (37-14, 17-10 Pac-12) if everything goes itsway this weekend, as Stanford hosts unrankedCal (27-24, 10-17) with just two games separat-ing the top five teams in the Pac-12 and onlytheir respective rivalry series remaining. Thelast time that even three squads at the top ofthe conference finished within two games wasin 2004, when Stanford won its last Pac-10 title

in a close finish over Washington and UCLA.Were aware of the standings but at the

same time we know that all we can do is go upand win games, said first baseman Brian Ra-gira, whose .330 batting average is third-beston the squad. Well let things fall where theywill.

This time around, No. 9 Oregon is in the dri-vers seat to win its first conference champi-onship since the Ducks reinstated their base-ball program in 2008-09 following a 28-yearhiatus. They can clinch at least a share of the

title with a series win over Oregon State, butthe No. 20 Beavers are no pushovers, having al-ready beaten Oregon once this season.

No. 13 Arizona is only a game behind the

Ducks at 18-9, but it must face a top-tier oppo-nent as well in 17-10 Arizona State, which isunranked in the Coaches Poll due to NCAAsanctions but still ranked as high as 16th bysome publications.

Also at 17-10 is No. 10 UCLA, which hasperhaps the easiest series of the bunch thisweekend. The Bruins will play at home against10th-place USC, which has lost eight of its lastnine in Pac-12 play.

Rounding out the group is Stanford, whichwill ride an eight-game winning streak into itsseries with the Golden Bears. With a sweep,the Cardinal would likely finish in second

place in the conference, which could bring aSuper Regional to Sunken Diamond if thesquad can stay alive long enough in the post-season.

Unless Oregon gets swept for the first timethis season, winning just twice would, at best,put Stanford in a three-way tie for second.With UCLA likely to have a strong showing aswell, the Cardinal would have a hard time dis-tinguishing itself to the selection committee ifit finishes below 20 Pac-12 wins.

Thus, a sweep is imperative for Stanford for

the third straight weekend.It always is [a must-win] once the postsea-

son comes around, Ragira said. It was prettysimilar last year.

The Cardinal did win three of its last fourgames of the 2010 season, including two victo-ries at Berkeley. And given its results playingunder pressure over the last two weeks, thesquad has a good shot at filling that tall order.

Two 3-0 weekends against eighth-placeWashington State and conference doormatUtah werent entirely unexpected, but theyhelped revitalize a Stanford lineup that lostthree of four to Oregon State and San JoseState, never scoring more than five runs in theprocess. Since its May 6 loss to the Beavers, theCardinal has dipped below the five-run markonly once.

Additionally, Stanfords starting pitcherscombined for a 1.40 ERA and struck out dou-ble-digits on three separate occasions in thosetwo series. Redshirt junior lefthander BrettMooneyham (6-4) has returned to form withtwo straight wins, while junior utilitymanStephen Piscotty recently named a finalistfor the John Olerud Award, given to the besttwo-way player in college baseball hasemerged as a reliable starter to round out the

SPORTS

THE BIG FINALE Pac-12: Thestrongest of

them all

The Pac-12 has hardlybeen getting off Scottfree. Conference Com-missioner Larry Scottearned $1.9 million in

2010, USA Today reportedWednesday, making him the high-est-paid commish in the nation justmonths after he took the position.By comparison, Thomas Hansen,who headed the Pac-10 from 1983-2009, made less than $600,000 in hislast full year on the job.

Though its no surprise that thePac-12s pockets have been gettingprogressively deeper in this era ofbig-money college sports, its excit-ing that the conference is doing somuch better financially than itsmajor counterparts. Its 12-year, $3billion TV deal with Fox and ESPNshattered records and has begun toinspire other conferences similarlylucrative agreements, though nonehave yet eclipsed the Pac-12s.

Having lived my entire life in theBay Area, Im no fan of the EastCoast bias. But Im a huge fan ofblaming absolutely everything onthe short-sightedness of our friendsto the east, and when it comes to theconference pecking order, EastCoast bias is clouding their under-standing of something we are allvery aware of: The Pac-12 is themost powerful league in collegesports.

First of all, we have a practicalmonopoly over the worlds biggest

hotbed of sporting growth: Califor-nia. In college, California has pro-duced indisputably the three mostsuccessful programs in NCAA his-tory. UCLAs 108 NCAA teamchampionships, Stanfords 103 andUSCs 94 are miles ahead of thetake of the next-best Division I pro-gram, Oklahoma State (50).

But the Pac-12 is no stranger touncharted territory Westarted the

Joseph Beyda

Please see BASEBALL, page 8

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The Stanford Daily Friday, May 25, 2012N 7

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Freshman Ellen Tsay and jun-ior Stacey Tan also appeared inthe doubles draw, although theylost a closely contested matchwith the score of 4-6, 7-5, 7-6 (5) tothe eighth-ranked duo of KristyFrilling and Shannon Mathewsfrom Notre Dame.

Next up for Gibbs is Natalie

Pluskota from Tennessee. Theyhave never played each other insingles, but they have met in dou-bles in the past.

Burdette will face a more fa-miliar foe in USCs top singles

player Zoe Scandalis. WhileGibbs has beaten Scandalis indual matches twice this year, Bur-dette fell to her 7-6, 6-7, 3-6 in thefinals of the Freeman Invitationalback in January. Winning wouldalso give Burdette a measure ofrevenge from the team competi-tion as Stanford lost to USC in the

quarterfinals of the NCAA teamcompetition last week.

Gibbs and Burdettes doublesmatch will be against Rices Na-talie Beazant and DominiqueHarmath in the second round of

the doubles draw.Both Gibbss and Burdettessingles matches will begin at 7a.m. PDT while their doublesmatch is scheduled to start at 1p.m. PDT today.

Contact David Perez at davidp3@stanford.edu.

WTENNISContinued from page 6

IAN GARCIA-DOTY/The Stanford Daily

Sophomore Nicole Gibbs (above) and junior Mallory Burdette both won their matches to advance to thequarterfinals of the NCAA Singles Championship. The duo also easily defeated Princeton in the doubles draw.

nominees in each category.Nobody cares about the big pic-

even 70; no fewer than 92 Pac-12schools have been in Pasadena forNew Years.

The ACC may seem to have aclaim to mens basketball, withperennial powerhouses Duke andNorth Carolina. But the Pac-12 hasactually won more national titles

already won eight national titlesthis year, and the conference hasseveral major contenders in base-ball and softball (though neither isactually played at the Olympicsanymore).

So is the Pac-12 paying LarryScott ridiculous amounts of

BEYDAContinued from page 6

roommates on the road havehad a prolific doubles career andan NCAA doubles championshipwould be the crowning achieve-ment to a fantastic doubles careeron the Farm.

Klahn now faces off against

No. 10 seed Cole Buchanan ofOhio State at 7 a.m. PST thismorning with a berth in the EliteEight on the line.

In doubles, Klahn andThachers next opponents are the

dangerous No. 16 seed HenriqueCunha and Chris Mengel of DukeUniversity. That match is slated tostart at 1 p.m. PST today.

Contact Dash Davidson at dashd@stanford.edu.

MTENNISContinued from page 6

Complete the grid so each

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Cardinals rotation.We knew Stephen could

throw. He threw all through fall,Ragira said. Hes been a big pick-me-up for us.

For their part, Cal could use apick-me-up of its own on themound. The Bears are the third-worst pitching team in the Pac-12with an ERA of 4.13, with sopho-more lefty Michael Theofanopou-los who hit a three-run homeragainst Stanford in nonconferenceplay last season as an outfielder stepping in without much successon Sundays.

Offensively, Cal is paced by oneof the best hitters in the confer-ence, junior Tony Renda. The 2011Pac-10 Player of the Year, Renda isbatting .365 but his mere 26 RBIare indicative of the Bears overalldifficulties with scoring runs this

season. In contrast, the Cardinal isaveraging nearly two more runsper game than Cal.

Much of that production hascome from junior centerfielderJake Stewart as of late. Stewart ledoff four innings on Tuesday at

Santa Clara and got on base allfour times, while also hitting twohome runs and going a perfect 4-for-4.

Hes a catalyst. Hes gotspeed, hes got power, he can doeverything, Ragira said. At thistime of year, we need a guy whocan get things rolling and hes justthat guy.

When these two teams met ayear ago, the Cardinal won the firsttwo games before the final onewas rained out with Stanford hold-ing a 7-1 lead in the fourth inning.This year, its going to have to winall three if it wants to contend for aconference title.

Tonights opener is scheduledfor 5:30 p.m., with 1 p.m. starts onSaturday and Sunday at SunkenDiamond.

Contact Joseph Beyda at jbeyda@stanford.edu.

BASEBALLContinued from page 6

8N Friday, May 25, 2012 The Stanford Daily

SPORTS BRIEF

Ted Knapp Named Mens

Swimming and Diving Head

Coach

A week after Skip Kenney an-nounced his retirement after 33

years as head coach of mensswimming and diving, former as-sociate head coach Ted Knappwill take over as the GoldmanFamily director of mens swim-ming and diving.

Knapp has been involved inStanford athletics for most of his

life. Before getting into coaching,he had a successful collegiate ca-reer with the Cardinal from 1977-1981. Knapp swam under CoachKenney in his junior and seniorseasons, earning All-Americanstatus his junior year.

Following his swimming career,Knapp quickly jumped onto thecoaching scene by serving as a volun-teer assistant beginning in 1984. Bythe 1988-1989 season, he was work-ing as a full-time assistant coach.

In the 28 years that Knappspent alongside Kenney, he hasbeen a driving force in Stanfordsincredible run that includes seven

national titles and 31 consecutiveconference championships.Knapp closely works with hisswimmers every year, includingdesigning workouts and oversee-ing dry-land training.

Knapp has also played a majorrole in the coaching world beyondthe Farm. He has coached 19Olympians, including three-timegold medalist Pablo Morales. Ten ofhis swimmers have gone on to set atotal of 20 world records. In addi-tion, Knapp served as the head

mens manager of the 2008 U.S.Olympic team as well as the assis-tant manager of the 2005 and 2007U.S. World Championship team.

In 2011, Knapp won the nation-al assistant coach of the year award,given by collegeswimming.com.

Knapp will officially begin hisduties as head coach in July afterthe Olympic Trials.

George Chen

DANI VERNON/Stanfordphoto.com

Following Skip Kenneys retirement last week, former associate headcoach Ted Knapp was appointed head coach of Stanford mens swim-ming and diving. He begins in July after the Olympic Trials.

Cardinalbaseball

hosts Cal inpivotal series

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inside:THE COLOR

PURPLE

vol. 241 i. 14 fri. 05.25.12

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2intermission2

ANNOYING TRENDS INFACEBOOK STATUSES

For most people, Facebook is a way to com-municate, share pictures with your best cyberfriends and enemies, make yourself seem cool,avoid your mothers friend request and stalkthe wedding photos of your Southern friends.But for those of us who avidly analyze socio-cultural trends in the modern, tethered youth,certain stylistic choices in status updates havebecome overused to the point where they arejust one more update away from crossing thenebulous division from trope into clich. Readthe critique and recognize your own crimes the following five trends can be eradicated,

one dedicated Facebook-user/Daily Reader ata time. Happy Facebooking!

Dear Restaurant/Strangers/Something Else,

You have let me down. Sincerely, Me. Thisone comes in many forms. Dear People whotook all the parking spaces, I hate you. DearStarbucks, tell your baristas not to put so

much foam in my lattes. Dear California,OMG thanks for the sun! Love you!!!!!

This might have been funny the first 50 times-people did it, but its become tiresome. If thewhole purpose of writing the letter is to sharethis disappointing experience with your 700Facebook friends, then the letter form ismisleading. Cut the frills with an avant-garde,minimalist posting: Theres too much foam inmy latte. Or even a surrealist text-painting ala Magritte: This latte is not a latte. Is it fairto complain about something behind some-

ones back? Yes, it is. But it is not fair to pre-tend that you are directly addressing theproblem when you are really just whining. Sotry this for a change: Write that letter toStarbucks or the person who cut you in linefor Fraiche and give it to them. They cantchange if you dont tell them.

Something fun that Im doing,but Im going to put a questionmark at the end? Yes, please.

Why are you phrasing this as a question? If

you are having a great day hanging out withyour best friends by the new fountain, justsay that. Posting A sunny afternoon with mybesties at the new fountain? Yes, please! isterribly indirect. Have some confidence, takea stand and end your sentence with a periodlike a real grown-up who actually graduatedgrammar school.

Hey, Location! Missed you.Again, just say it. Just say, Its great to beback at Stanford! Just because a place is aproper noun does not mean you shouldaddress it directly. We hate to be the oneto break it to you, but the place you aretalking to cannot hear you and will neverrespond to you. Its basically on par withtalking to inanimate objects. See also,

number one.

That awkward moment whenthe moment isnt actuallyawkward, but Im pretendingit is.

You know youve done this one. The awk-ward moment when you drink 2 percent milk

instead of fat free. The awkward momentwhen you think its Tuesday, but its Friday.Not every moment is awkward. Not everymoment needs to be written in this themoment when . . . format. Like a wise, now-anonymous, freshman housemate once said,Awkward doesnt even exist. Its a mindset.So lose it, and dont let me find it on a news-feed.

The I have clearly beenhacked status.Once upon a time, posting a status as yourfriend was really, really hilarious. Now it is aminor crime that happens once every 5.9seconds. Its still not funny when someonesstatus update is I smell like cat butt, or Ilove Sarah Palin. Well, its probably funny ifyou were there, but all your Facebookfriends wish you would stop posting status-es from your friends accounts, if only to notdisrupt our ideas of static identity uncor-

rupted by role-play or a fluid existence. Orwhatever.

M Y M A NCRUSHON

Man Crush. Its a term general-

ly used to describe when a

straight man has a crush on

another man, in an idolizing way, and

Ive got one on Joel Stein 93.

Okay, so Im, by most definitions of

the word, a woman, but Man Crush isthe only phrase to describe my adulation

of the columnist whose first book, Man

Made, hit the stands last week. A simple

crush doesnt fit, because this is not

Lolita situation and I am not creepy; hes

not quite a mentor, because Im pretty

sure he doesnt actuallyknow who I am;

and its not a girl crush, because, despite

Steins 300-page-long quest for manli-

ness, he is technically male. Alas, I have a

man crush on Stein because, well, hesthe type of man I want to be.

Struck with the fear that his sono-

gram-babys penis will eventually grow to

full human form and that he must teach

his penis-baby the tricks of the man

trade lest that baby seek help from

friends fathers or coaches, Stein decides

to embark on a journey to find his own

masculinity. If you dont know Stein as

well as I claim to, the humor writer for

Time Magazine has contributed to the

likes of GQ and the Los Angeles Times

and even began as a columnist for The

Stanford Daily. Maybe I look up to Stein

because Im the type of person who iso-

lates two obscure similarities between

myself and a potential idol, finds a

desired outcome and then concludes that

there is hope for me, the struggling artist

with a figurative beret and literal dreams

for semi-stardom.So when I found out during one of

Steins campus talks that he also didnt

start at The Daily until sophomore

year, that his back-up plan was a life

of lawyerdom, too, and that he con-

tributed to GQ nothing less than my

dream job and the subject of my college

essay I was certain that I too would

some day make it in this society. All

alumni should be so inspiring.

I remember the first time I metStein. It was just before I was ducking out

of a class to attend Steins actual talk with

The Daily. He was wearing a brown suit,

like a monkey. And then I met Stein

again when he spoke during iDeclare

week to a group of sophomores, sitting

around him and a panel of other speak-

ers in folding chairs with mediocre

refreshments that made it feel more like a

self-help slap in the face than a career-

planning venture. When a former WallStreet Journal journalist asked me what I

wanted to be when I graduated from

Stanford, I announced to the room that I

wanted to be Stein. The room laughed;

iDidntDeclare.

The last time I met Stein, I cornered

him after his TEDxStanford talk to sign

my copy of his book. His talk introduced

Man Made with just a tad of suspense

for those who havent yet flipped through

the essays of wanton manliness, but that

was about it. He concluded that the dag-

ger of unmanliness or for those of us

blessed/cursed to move through life

with a vagina know, of weakness in gen-

eral is just fear of confrontation.

Thats it! He didnt even read us The

List, his top-secret list of life lessons

reserved for only Laszlo, his oddly

named penis-baby. And some people

paid a lot for those TEDx tickets.But Man Made is worth the read

even if it doesnt reveal all of lifes secrets

JOEL STEIN

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Amid the warm spring air

these past few days, campus

events have consumed stu-

dents. TEDx talks, for instance,

inspired hundreds, while Frost

Revival and BlackFest delivered the

best of Bay Area music right to

Stanfords doorstep.

But another buzz has been

growing on campus around a show

that completely sold out weeks

before opening night. In the shad-

ows of Pigott Theater, fifty audi-ence members waited as a simple

scene of rural Georgia was lit up in

pale shades of violet, and on a very

small stage, a monumental per-

formance gripped the crowd as

BlackStage Theater Companyput

on their first full showing of their

spring musical, The Color

Purple.Purple, based on the 1982

epistolary novel by Alice Walkerand directed by Brandon Jackson12, follows the shadowed life of

Celie (Jessica Anderson 14), firstintroduced to the audience as a 14-year-old girl pregnant with her sec-

ond child both sired by her

stepfather. The only bright spot in

this childs life is her younger, pret-

tier sister Nettie, but the two areseparated after their father gives

Celie to a brutal man known onlyas Mr. (Logan Richard 15). Celieand Mr. continue a hostile life

together that is shaken up whenShug Avery (Doris Bumpus), acrucial part of Mr.s past and

eventually Celies future comesto town.

Purple is not for the faint of

heart, containing demeaningimages of women, domestic abuse,discussions of rape and blatant

racism. But in the spots whensome of the plot-knowledgeableaudience members were clearly

nervous about others reactions at one tense point when a knife ispulled on another character, a

woman sitting behind me actuallymuttered, I hope no one walksout after this scene the cast

handled the roles beautifully.In fact, what made the show

so incredible was the fine line that

this immensely talented ensemblewas able to collectively walk tomake every characterization spot

on. Take Celie, for example, who

might be one of the most difficult

girls to portray in all of musicaltheater, her character forcing

actresses to convince the audienceof her transformation from meekand confused to bold and unhin-

dered. Anderson, however, is astar on any stage, not simply thatof Purple. I dont think Im

alone in saying that her incrediblesolo performance of Im Here,the penultimate song, raised

goosebumps.On the nefarious side, Mr. whose short, terse name seems

to reflect his bad attitude wasvicious from the start andinduced actual physical cringes

whenever he raised his whip.Richard has a substantial stagepresence and equally large voice,

helping to establish him as a truevillain no small feat in a musicalproduction.

But the strongest of presencesmight have belonged to LadidiGarba 12, whose brash character

Sofia made slapping men aroundlook easy. Garba was easily one ofthe best performers of the night,

not to mention her palpable chem-istry with her on-stage husband

Harpo (Kelsei Wharton 12) intheir duet Any Little Thing. Mostimportantly, though, Sofia, along

of the rest of the cast, continuallyreaffirmed the importance ofmoral strength, the driving force

behind Celies dramatic transfor-mation.

At a time when racial tension

lies at the crux of many recent

political issues and in an environ-

ment where self-affirmation

remains a constant goal through-

out our four years, The Color

Purple boldly reminds us of the

powerful force of hope, even in the

most extreme oppression. Purple,

they say, is an indefinable shade of

mystery and intrigue, of royalty

and of spirituality, but forBlackStage, it is clearly the color of

excellence.

andrea HINTON

contact andrea:

3

THEATRE

friday may 25 2012

ILLUSTRATESHOPE

COLOR PURPLE

T

he Stanford Shakespeare

Company traditionally

stages its spring show out-

doors, in scenic and visually inter-

esting parts of campus. This year is

no exception: The group mounts

Romeo and Juliet in a small,

sunken amphitheatre on the

Engineering Quad, with a large

tree bathed in violet lights as the

centerpiece of the stage. The setting

is intimate the first ring of stone

benches is level with the actors

and the players enter and exit from

behind the audience.

The actors adapt well to a pro-

duction in the round, making good

use of the sparse scenery and the

tree, which serves as Juliets

(Camille Brown 14) balcony in Act

II, Scene 2. She and Romeo (Kevin

Hurlbutt 14) render this and other

interactions with all the emotional

fluctuation appropriate to a hor-

monal and eminently believable

young couple. As Brown told The

Daily, Once I translated it into

modern English just for myself

it felt natural to become the

character. Browns Juliet is consis-

tently relatable to anyone who

remembers their high school years;

| continued on page 6 |

Courtesy Daniel Chia

Courtesy BlackStage Theatre Company

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For the average cinephile or

celebrity gawker, the word

Cannes probably conjures

up images of svelte actors and

gowned actresses posing on the red

carpet silhouetted against a blue

sea, speckled with fancy yachts, and

the occasional renegade director.Sure, world premieres, photo calls

and press conferences are just part

of the everyday happenings, but

what the photo-shopped images

dont reveal is the less than glam-

orous behind-the-scenes scram-

bling that truly makes the Cannes

Film Festival the prestigious event

that it is.

As a lowly student journalist

Ive been a bit of a fly on the wall,enjoying the people watching almost

as much as the films. And believe

me, there can be a lot of downtime.

With thousands of accredited jour-

nalists attending the festival, Cannes

has a hierarchy to manage who gets

in to what screening. My yellow

badge puts me just above the pho-

tographers, but at the bottom of the

ranks of the rest of the journalists.Depending on the venue, blue, pink

and white badges all have priority

access before me. Just the other

night, I waited in line for an hour

outside, in the rain for the new

Abbas Kiarostami film that debuted

in competition, only to be turned

away when the theater became full

with higher-ranked press. (Granted,

it could have been worse. Entry to

last years The Tree of Life was socompetitive that it resulted in actual

physical fights.)

However, for each minor set-

back Cannes has something

redeeming to offer, like the time

some friends and I crashed a party

hosted by Firefox for their new

Flicks platform. Unfortunately we

missed the guest of honor, actor

Edward Norton, but the open bar,

fireworks over the water and excel-

lent DJ made up for it. The chances

of a celebrity sighting at Cannes are

also considerably high possibly

even more so than in metropolitan

Meccas like Los Angeles and New

York. In fact, my first night here, I

took the bus back to my apartment

and noticed Bonnie Wright (akaGinny Weasley) standing a few feet

away with a group of friends.

Balancing work and play can

be a bit of a challenge, especially

when press screenings begin as

early as 8:30 a.m. and continue on

until 10 in the evening which, for

some films, means getting out of

the theater past midnight. The

Palais des Festivals, the central hub

for press and industry members,offers free Nespresso stations to

recharge between screenings, but as

you might guess they only serve

espresso. In tiny cups. Maybe my

palette just isnt refined enough,

but even with sugar, the experience

of drinking espresso the French

way is not unlike how I would

imagine taking a shot of battery

acid would feel: unpleasant, yet

highly stimulating.

As a seasoned journalist

advised me at a press junket, the

more you accept that Cannes,

despite its golden reputation, isnt

actually all that well organized, the

more you can relax and enjoy

yourself. So having come to termswith the fact that I can only fit so

much into a single day, Im back to

feeling that same sense of awe that

I had the day I first checked in. For

someone like me, just being here is

a dream come true.

Check out more of Intermissions

Cannes coverage online.

misa SHIKUMA

contact misa:mshikuma@stanford.edu

intermission4

MOVIES

CANNES JOBa student at the fest

Courtesy Cannes Film Festival

Courtesy Cannes Film Festival

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MOVIES

5friday may 25 2012

Like most of the undergrad populationon this campus, I was too young to be

a part of the target audience of the

original Men in Black when in came out in

97. Most of us were fortunate enough to

have older siblings or pals introduce us to the

comedic and badass stylings of Will Smith

and Tommy Lee Jones, and we can fondly

look back on the original as well as the

sequel. But even if Lilo and Stich was your

primary extraterrestrial exposure, youre in

luck, because Will Smith doesnt seem to have

aged a day in Men in Black III. Plus, the

first 15 minutes of this movie provide ahandy refresher on the dynamic, crime-fight-

ing alien duo of Agent J and Agent K, not to

mention bring you up to speed on the cur-

rent state of (Hollywood) race relations.

Meanwhile, those of you already famil-

iar with these secret agents and their usual

high jinks need not get anxious at the

prospect of a contrived regurgitation of the

same fight scenes and jokes. Like practically

all movies these days (including the upcom-

ing movie version of The Great Gatsby...say

what?), Men in Black III comes to you in 3D. I

often get distracted in recent movies because

Im preoccupied with guessing which things

Im seeing are/will be enhanced by 3D or mere-

ly wondering ifsuch objects are 3D Im pret-

ty sure all of a few blades of grass were the only

3D parts of Lion King 3D but if there ever

was a movie made for that extra dimension,

this is it. Surprises were much more surprising,

aliens much more alien-y and travels through

time and space generally more absorbing.

This movie has no shortage of fantastical

creatures and even more fantastical gadgets, all

of which translates nicely to the 3D experience.MIB III doesnt just stop with protrud-

ing plasma guns, but continues to break fromthe existing Men in Black canon with the plot

itself. The movie is a romp through New Yorkand U.S. history, driven by Agent Js mission tostop a gnarly-looking alien assassin from

killing Agent K and ultimately destroyingplanet Earth. Same old, same old pressure tosave the world in 90 minutes? Yes, but when

Agent J goes back in time to do it, he findshimself paired up with the 40-years-youngerversion of his partner (played by Josh Brolin in

an eerily Jonesian fashion), which makes for anentirely novel crime-fighting team. And to top itall off, these two get started kicking ass and tak-

ing names in 1969 New York City (reduxwith aliens).

We already knew the black suits andskinny ties were timeless, but theyre perhaps

Part coming-of-age story and

part comedy of manners,

Wes Andersons Moonrise

Kingdom chronicles the adventur-

ous romance of two young lovers

on a fictional island off the coast ofNew England. Newcomers Kara

Hayward and Jared Gilman lead a

star-studded supporting cast

including Bruce Willis, Bill Murray,

Frances McDormand, Edward

Norton and Tilda Swinton.

In the summer of 1965, preco-

cious twelve year-old Sam

Shakosky (Gilman) executes a well-

planned escape from his Khaki

Scout troop in order to rendezvouswith his pen pal and crush, Suzy

Bishop (Hayward). With the help

of Sams superior wilderness skills,

the two fugitives make their way

across the island while evading the

clutches of the various locals out to

reign them in, which include Scout

Master Ward (Norton) and the rest

of Troop 55, Mr. and Mrs. Bishop

(Murray and McDormand) and

local police Captain Sharp (Willis).

Alone together, Sam and Suzy

bond over a mutual penchant for

getting in trouble and feeling like

an outsider he as a foster child

and she for getting into fights at

school. She shares with him her

favorite books (stolen from the

library, no less) while he, a budding

renaissance man, paints watercol-

ors of her against the beautiful

New England scenery. Yet just as

they realize their true love for each

other, the search party catches up

and forces them apart. But, as

young people are wont to do, Sam

and Suzy scheme up ways to be

reunited, even in the face of an

aggressive social services agent

(Swinton) who threatens to take

Sam away. Meanwhile, a hurricane

brews just off the coast that prom-

ises to shake things up even more

for the tiny, insular community.

Awash in the vintage, sepia-

toned look that Anderson favors,

Moonrise Kingdom is less of a

period piece than merely an exten-

sion of the quirky, off-kilter reali-

ties that the director brings to the

screen. (Previous works include

The Darjeeling Limited and The

Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou).

But as kitschy as his latest film is, it

feels more grown up and thorough

than anything else he has produced

to date, perhaps, in a way, repre-

senting a certain coming of age for

the director as well as the charac-

ters.

As a twist on the Romeo and

Juliet forbidden love story,

Moonrise Kingdom succeeds in

capturing the playful earnestness

and awkwardness of buddingromance without being overly sen-

timental. Juxtaposed with the

adults in the film, who are por-

trayed as incompetent, inept and

forever loveless (the failure of the

Bishops marriage is a recurring

theme), Sam and Suzy make

admirable heroes for taking their

fate into their own hands. So if

they take themselves a little too

seriously its only because, well,theyre a lot more adult than the

real grown-ups around them.

Anderson fans will be satisfied

with the impeccable ensemble cast-

ing and the evolution of his story-

telling, and as for everyone else

heres your chance to jump on the

bandwagon.

Moonrise Kingdom hits theaters

June 1.

misa SHIKUMA

contact misa:mshikuma@stanford.edu

MAD MEN IN BLACK

| continued on page 8 |

Courtesy Cannes Film Festival

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intermission6

MOVIES

to pretty successful success and even

for those readers who arent women

who secretly want to be dapper, stur-

dy gentlemen. Yes, there are life les-

sons to be learned like the impor-tance of a knowledge of American

history, particularly of our success in

wars, to the apparent perception of

manliness and Stein makes a

point to mention Stanford many

times, which will in turn make any

Stanford reader feel both special and

closer to the author. (That last one

may just be me again.)

But no, not for knowledge or

manliness or even for a Fathers Daygift should you pick up this book.

Do it for the laughs. Any Stanford

student immersed in spoiled discon-

tent or mild frustration at the limita-

tions of a comfortable upbringing

can appreciate Steins journey

through manliness as if in somemodern Orpheus story, rescuing his

own man-imus from himself and

from societys expectations. Its no

Eat, Pray, Love, but it isa barrel of

laughs and will probably become a

TV movie starring Casey Affleck if

they cant get Matt Damon. The

book is a lot cheaper than TEDx

tickets anyway.

sasha ARIJANTO

contact sasha:sasha.arijanto@stanford.edu

she is impulsive and headstrong,

the quintessential rebellious

teenager in a restrictive household,

whose infatuation with a boy she

meets at a party becomes herwhole world. Her best moments,

however, are not the expected

scenes of high passion; rather,

Brown excels at internal conflict

her marriage vows, which follow

several memorable bouts of self-

doubt, are justly earned.

Hurlbutts Romeo, too, could

be any brooding, lovelorn high

schooler decked out in a blue dou-

blet; he spends the majority of theplay lamenting his romantic woes

in a typical adolescent fashion, his

melancholy punctuated by several

soliloquies revealing a more impas-

sioned inner character. Hurlbutt

recounts developing Romeos inter-

nality with director Evan Dragic

12, which involved lots of looking

at the text, talking about symbol-

ism and all the little things [the

audience doesnt] notice. This

detailed examination shines

through in several key scenes: the

few minutes of animated panic in

the Capulet garden, a moving reac-

tion to the death of Mercutio

(Mary Glen Fredrick 12) and

Romeos bitterness upon receiving

word of his banishment, where-

upon he lashes out at his friend

and mentor, Friar Laurence(Francisco Maravilla 12).

The play is not all tears; the

company deftly captures the Bards

sharp, often bawdy wit. The banter

between Romeo and his sidekicks

Mercutio and Benvolio (Mary

Beth Corbett 12) never fails to

amuse, especially as they become

more inebriated as the night pro-

gresses. Corbetts stage presence is

emphatic and precise, whereasFredricks Mercutio is mercurial

and animated, both providing

contrast to the more sober Romeo.

Juliets nurse (Insiya Jafferjee 14)

also manages to ease the tension

among the Capulets as she flits

about like a well-intentioned

mother hen, offering equal partscomfort and unwelcome advice,

much to the exasperation of Juliet,

her parents and undoubtedly the

audience as well.

The productions parental fig-

ures span a wide range of acting

styles that, despite or perhaps

due to their differences, comple-

ment each other and their way-

ward children. In this rendition,

Lord and Lady Montague are col-lapsed into a single character

(Rachel Lindee 12), an unusual

but ultimately effective casting that

allows Friar Laurence to assume a

unique position as surrogate father

to Romeo. As Maravilla comment-

ed, there was a lot of effort

involved in carving out [the] char-

acter, figuring out why he and

Romeo have this kinship. Their

relationship appeared in stark

opposition to that of Juliet and her

parents; Lord Capulet (Nick Weiler,

5th year Ph.D) is deliciously tyran-

nical, and Lady Capulet (Nora

Tjossem 15) attempts to soothethe tension between Juliet and her

father, but ultimately lacks the will

to contradict her husband a

subtle contrast to Montagues

strong single-motherhood. The

Capulets version of tiger parent-

ing, Renaissance-style, garners

Juliet, and by extension, Romeo,

immense audience sympathy.

StanShakes has produced, in

Romeo and Juliet, another enter-taining, moving classic that is sure

to appeal to modern audiences of

all stripes. The intimate venue is

small, so you may want to reserve

your tickets before they sell out.

sarah GUAN

contact sarah:sguan@stanford.edu

CONTINUED FROM ROMEO, PAGE 3

Courtesy Daniel Chia

CONTINUED FROM MAN CRUSH, PAGE 2

Courtesy Grand Central Publishing

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best served with the Mad Men-esque backdrop of mod 60s decorand secretaries in sharp pencilskirts and fab, voluminous hairdos.Just when you start to wonder ifthis is AMC or the big screen, WillSmith brings you back with his

witty repartee, taking his thor-oughly confused 60s peers bystorm in scene after scene. WhileAgent J keeps the humor current,Agent K and his generation allowus to indulge some more of ourfavorite aspects of the era, fromperiod cars to Andy Warhol to theApollo 13. Will Smiths acting is onpoint, if not because it feels more

like Will Smith being cool thanWill Smith acting.

Though many of these scenesare great fun, the progression from

one scene to the next relies heavilyon some relatively predictable plot

developments and an overarchingtheme of secret-agent bromanceand machismo. Attempts at bring-ing gravity to the plot and its key

moments of foreshadowing oftenfell flat. Its probably not a goodsign when a serious moment of

warning makes you inadvertentlyburst out laughing. It doesnt helpthat somber news is delivered to

the protagonists by a unicorn,albeit a very loose and rather

bizarre interpretation of a onehorned being. On the other hand,the title of this movie isnt Pursuitof Happyness II, and I wouldnt go

into it with a hankering fornuanced symbolism or a narrativethat tugs at the heartstrings. If you

are, however, in the mood for somelaugh-out-loud moments with WillSmith, some involuntary alien

dodging in your seat and an overall

fun time, then this may well be amovie for you.

alex KENNEDY

contact alex:alexjk@stanford.edu

intermission8

ADVICE

ROXYSGUIDE TO YOUR

SPRINGF L I N G

05.25.12BONE TO PICK?

MANAGING EDITORSasha Arijanto

DEPUTY EDITORIsaac Halyard

DESK EDITORMisa Shikuma

COPY EDITOR

Willa BrockCOVER

Serenity Nguyen

well then, email us!intermission@stanforddaily.com

CONTINUED FROM MEN, PAGE 5

Courtesy MCT

Some say spring is a time for

romance, but by the last few

weeks of the quarter, Roxy

knows the only love to be had at

Stanford is the kind they study inWomen in French Cinema. With

only a few weeks remaining, theres

no time to start a full-fledged rela-

tionship but Roxy only needs a

few hours (or less, in a pinch) for

her favorite kind of relationship.

With warm days and chilly nights,

the logic of the casual hookup is

inescapable: find someone to keep

your bed warm when the sun

ducks behind the moon and wholl

be out of your hair by the time we

see light of day again.

And the perks of a spring

fling? If youre heading off to a new

place for the summer, this might

be your last, ahem, taste of

Stanford for a while. Graduating

seniors need to lock down their

bucket lists, and you certainly cant

hook up in the stacks alone. And ofcourse, with finals on the horizon,

theres no better way to de-stress

than to undress.

As this isnt Roxys first time at

the spring quarter rodeo, shes got

some suggestions for how to guar-

antee a successful finish . . . to the

year, of course! If youre truly look-

ing for random, Roxy recommends

the dance floor of an all-campus

party. You barely need to exchangenames before the DFMO (dance

floor make out, of course) can

begin forget pleasantries like

class year, major and freshman year

IHUM. Alternative places to meet

potential hookups include outsideon the Row as people wander

between parties or on FloMo field

mid-day drinking.

After the hookup, youve

shared plenty Roxy believes

theres no need to share more

information . . . like your phone

number. Of course, if youre look-

ing for a round two, you might

have to give in order to get some.

In that case, Roxy recommends

you refrain from any texts before

dinnertime you might give the

impression that you actually want

to seethis person before dinner.

Similarly, avoid sympathy coffee

(you know, the I want to pretend

this wasnt a random thing so we

can go out to coffee once and

never talk again coffee). Nothing

ruins hot and steamy memoriesmore than iced beverages and stilt-

ed conversation.

Roxy wishes you all the best in

your pursuits. Trust her, its worth

it to end the year with a bang. Or

two.

Looking for a way to stay warm at night

but cant seem to find your space heater?

Roxy can heat things up in no time. See if

shes busy (or wants to get busy) atIntermission@Stanforddaily.com.