Jm Ycasas

Carol Damgen

Interpersonal Communication

 November 19, 2009

Dan in Real Life nal!sis

1" #$amples of Confirming Communication%

Recognition& In t'e scene ('ere Dan an) *arie first meet in t'e boo+store, *arie as+s Dan for

some 'elp in fin)ing a boo+ for 'er to rea) -'e )oesn.t c'oose to fin) a boo+ 'erself but s'e

instea) recogni/es 'im an) as+s 'im for 'elp

c+no(le)gement& ollo(ing t'e boo+store scene, *arie an) Dan s'are coffee an) a plant

muffin, an) Dan reveals a lot to *arie about 'is past -'e ac+no(le)ges 'im b! being respectful

an) listening to 'is stor!

#$amples of Disconfirming Communication%

Impervious Response& In t'e boo+store scene, *arie as+s t'e man (or+ing t'ere for 'elp but 'e

is on t'e p'one Rat'er t'an actuall! 'elping 'er 'e tells 'er to (ait a minute, blo(s 'er off an)

+eeps on tal+ing

Impervious Response& In t'e scene ('ere Dan (al+s in on *arie (as'ing 'er face an) t'e!.re in

t'e bat'room, Dan.s )aug'ter, Jane, (al+s in, an) Dan is force) to get into t'e s'o(er *arie is

also some('at force) to get into t'e s'o(er also an) pseu)o listens to Jane.s problems Not t'at

s'e means to, but *arie )oesn.t give Jane 'er full attention

2" ace&t'reatening cts%

&In t'e scene ('ere Dan.s parents are tal+ing to Dan in 'is room, lots of ot'er people come in

tr!ing to )o t'eir laun)r! Rat'er t'an listen to 'is parents, Dan avoi)s an) ma+es lig't of t'e

sub3ect b! 3ust telling ever!bo)! to come in ('ile 'is parents tell t'em it.s a private

conversation

&During t'e football game scene, Jane confronts Dan about flirting (it' *arie Dan obviousl!

)enies it b! sa!ing t'at 'e (asn.t flirting Jane sa!s 'e )oesn.t 'ave to )en! it because s'e

alrea)! covere) 'im ('en Lil! as+e)

4" Cognitive Dissonance

 

ttac+ing t'e Critic& Cara clearl! verball! attac+s Dan ('en s'e sen)s 'er bo!frien) 'ope after

'e )iscovers t'em ma+ing out )uring t'e famil! retreat -'e calls 'im a mur)erer of love an)

!ells at 'im for not un)erstan)ing t'at s'e loves 'im

Distorting Critical Information& During t'e )inner, Dan constantl! tries to c'ange t'e topic off of 

*arie but fails to )o so 5e gets to t'e point ('ere 'e lists off all of *itc'.s previous girlfrien)s

an) ruins t'e moo) but later on, *itc' rationali/es ('at 'e Dan )i) b! telling 'im ('at 'e )i)

(as o+ because t'e! are brot'ers

voi)ing Dissonant Information%

Repression67"& 8'e scene ('ere t'e ('ole famil! is (al+ing along t'e s'ore 'as some +in) of

avoi)ance Dan.s fat'er (ants to tal+ to Dan about possibl! )ating again an) ('! 'e is feeling so

)o(n an) )istant but Dan is uic+ to sa! t'at 'e )oes not (ant to tal+ about it 5e (oul) rat'er

 3ust (al+ in silence on t'e s'ore

:" -ee+ing *ore Information& ;'en Dan tal+s to Cara about 'er relations'ip (it' *art!

<arasco, s'e accuses 'im of not un)erstan)ing 5o(ever, Dan respon)s non)efensivel! b!

as+ing 'o( s'e can +no( t'at s'e loves 'im after onl! +no(ing 'im for t(o (ee+s

&;'en Dan an) *arie are caug't +issing in t'e bo(ling alle!, *itc' accuses Dan of ('at 'e is

)oing Dan see+s more information b! as+ing You gu!s bro+e up, rig't7

gree (it' t'e Critic& ;'en Dan finall! reac'es t'e en) of 'is rope, Dan tal+s to 'is )aug'ters

about 'o( 'e 'as not been t'e best fat'er 5e ac+no(le)ges t'at 'e 'asn.t let Jane tr! )riving, or 

Cara )ate bo!s, but especiall! t'e fact t'at 'e ble( off Lil! an) 'e apologi/es to eac' of t'em

&fter Dan is caug't (it' *arie, 'e feels terrible an) +no(s t'at *itc' is reall! 'urt an) reall!

)isli+es 'im at t'e moment 5o(ever, Dan accepts t'at ('at 'appene) (as not somet'ing 'e

s'oul) 'ave )one an) tries, unsuccessfull!, to apologi/e to *itc'