david's book of nonsense
DESCRIPTION
Illustrated limericks by David MertaTRANSCRIPT
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Contents
Girl in a treeLouiseBrianClaire
Man from the coastDaveZedBritMeg
SquirrelRose
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There once was a girl that lived in a tree,•When asked why, she said “I like to feel free“•Birds didn't like her, •So tried to get rid of her.•Nothing worked so she turned into a tree.
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There once was a girl named Louise,•With beautiful hair down to her knees.•Once on a windy day,•Her beauty crown flew away.•The birds used it to build their nests in the trees.
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There once was a boy called Brian,•Who's dream was to see a live lion.•When they finally met,•He treated him as a pet.•A mistake that cost the life of little Brian.
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There once was a lady called ClareWith a big grin she went to ride a bearShe shouted “I am a star!I'm the bravest by far!““Shame, I've already had my lunch“ thought bear.
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•There once was a man that lived on the coast.He held a record for eating French toast.•In his throat it did poke,•The man started to choke,•Man lost the title, forever unable to boast.
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There once was a man that people called Dave.•He stepped on a snake whilst exploring a cave.•Not liking creatures as such•He freaked out so much•Soiling his pants, admitted he was not very brave.
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There once was a boy named Zed.He had the silliest ideas inside his head.He once caught a mouse,That he let loose in a houseAnd that made his mother see red.
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•An admirer sent flowers to a lady named Brit.She screamed when attempted to smell it.got stung on the nose by a bee having a dozein there, and was not impressed by it.
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•There once was a girl and her name was Meg,•Her favourite pastime was to hop on one leg.•In a trap she did fall,•Her eyes started to bawl.Now instead of a leg she has a wooden peg.
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•I knew a squirrel; she was a friend of my rats.She loved the biscuits more than the nuts.Until she made a scene,shouted “I am a queen“, We did not have a clue that she was that nuts.
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There once was a young princess named Rose,Whose family genes gave her a big nose.She impressed the palace,When she learnt to balancepeas on a fork and that fork on her nose.
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www.davidmerta.com
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