dealing with difficult people - avera health · dealing with difficult people presented by donald...
TRANSCRIPT
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Dealing with Difficult People
Presented by
Donald D. McCoy, MS, SPHR,
CLDC
EAP Trainer/Consultant
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Objectives
Identify the Ten Most Unwanted Profiles
Four Intents
Threatened Intents
Three choices
8 Tips for Dealing With Difficult People
Your Plan of Action
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Ten Most Unwanted Behaviors
The Tank
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Ten Most Unwanted Behaviors
The Sniper
Friendly & Unfriendly
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Ten Most Unwanted Behaviors
The Grenade
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Ten Most Unwanted Behaviors
The Know-It-All
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Ten Most Unwanted Behaviors
The Think-They-Know-It-All
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Ten Most Unwanted Behaviors
The Yes Person
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Ten Most Unwanted Behaviors
The Maybe Person
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Ten Most Unwanted Behaviors
The Nothing Person
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Ten Most Unwanted Behaviors
The No Person
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Ten Most Unwanted Behaviors
The Whiner
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There’s at Least One in Every Crowd!
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Who’s Yours?
You
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The Four Intents
Task Focus
People Focus
ActivePassive
Intent: Get
it in Order
Intent: Get
it Done
Intent: Get
Along
Intent: Get
it Right
When ?
Why? Who ?
How?
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A Word About Excess
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A Word About Excess
Confident
Assertive
Detailed
Passionate
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The Result of Threatened Intents
Normal Zone
Task Focus
People Focus
ActivePassive
Intent: Get
it in Order
Intent: Get
it Done
Intent: Get
Along
Intent: Get
it Right
ControllingAnalysis/Paralysis
Approval SeekingPerfectionist
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Exercise
Group discussion
Categorize Each Type by Intent
Answer the following questions
– When?
– Who?
– Why?
– How?
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Secrets to Success
Understand, Accept and Deal Seriously with
Difficult People
Focus on Their Behavior, Not
Your Reaction!
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Exercise
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.
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Tips For Dealing With Difficult People
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Choose Your Approach
3 choices
1. Stay and do nothing
2. Vote with your feet
3. Change your behavior!
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Recognize The Part You Play
Oh Yes, You Do Play a Part!
Think about these behaviors and which is
most like you.
Which description is most like the person you
have trouble with.
Why?
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Tip #1
It’s Impossible to Please Everybody
No matter how competent and
wonderful a person you are, you
just can’t please everybody.
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Tip #2
Be Prepared for Conflict
The best way to deal with a
negative situation is to see it
coming. Know ahead of time how
you’re going to handle the
situation.
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Tip #3
Don’t Fuel the FireYou’re going to be tempted to retaliate – to lash out at toxic coworkers in an attempt to try and "make them understand" how their negativity is affecting you. However, 99% of the time, this is the worst thing that you can do.
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Tip #4
Set Boundaries to Protect Yourself What Kind of Behaviors Pose a Threat to Our Boundaries?
What Can We Do To Strengthen Our Boundaries?
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Tip #5
Re-frame the Problem
– Analyze How You “Frame” the problem
– How you think about the problem affects
both party’s response
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Exercise:
1. I am to blame for ____________________.
2. He/she is to blame for ________________.
3. We both are to blame for ______________.
4. No one is to blame for ________________.
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Tip #6
Lend a Helping Hand
Although not beneficial in all situations,
sometimes difficult people are looking
for an ally – someone to spill their heart
to and vent their pent up frustrations to.
Just by being a good listener, you may
be able to better the situation.
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Tip #7
Reduce Differences By
– Listening
– Blending
– Backtracking
– Confirming
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Listen To Understand
Do NOT Do
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Blending
Non Verbal
Verbal
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Backtracking
Two or three sentences
Exact words
In sync
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Confirm
Reflective Listening
– Summarize what you have heard
– Ask them if they feel you have understood their
needs and “Intent”.
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Tip #8
Move On
There comes a point where you
just can’t fix the problem, so
whether it’s them or you that has to
move on, somebody needs to.www.lifescript.com
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Based on what I’ve learned today,
“Something I want to
stop doing is…”
“Something I want to
keep doing is…”
“Something I want to
start doing is…”
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MY PLAN OF ACTION
Techniques I Plan To Practice on a Regular Basis
1. ____________________________________________________
2. ____________________________________________________
3. ____________________________________________________
4. ____________________________________________________
5. ____________________________________________________
My Accountability Partner is _____________________________
Signature _____________________________________________
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THANK YOU!
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If you are interested in further training for your organization, consultation, or additional
information, please contact me at:
605-322-4033