Lesson 7

Key Text:

“Better is a dry morsel

with quietness,

than a house full of

feasting with strife” Proverbs 17:1

Proverbs again denounces the deception of appearances. We

may seem to have everything the world offers—wealth, power,

pleasure, fame—yet, behind the facade, tension and misery

flourish. It’s even possible that the cause of this tension and

misery is precisely the wealth and pleasure that people strive so

hard for. As an Egyptian proverb notes: “Better is bread with a

happy heart than wealth with vexation.”—Miriam Lichtheim, The

New Kingdom, vol. 2 of Ancient Egyptian Literature: A Book of

Readings (Los Angeles: University of California Press, 2006), p. 156.

According to the book of Proverbs, the first step to solve this

problem is to recognize what our priorities are: peaceful

relationships are more important than wealth (Prov. 17:1).

What counts is not so much what we have but who we are

within ourselves. The advice that follows will help in

restoring this priority and lead us toward an inner peace

(shalom in the Hebrew) that will add to our happiness.

Solomon’s advice on resolving interpersonal conflicts:

1. Cover the mistakes (Proverbs 17:9; 19:11)2. Be just (Proverbs 17:10; 19:25)3. Speak wisdom (Proverbs 18)4. Listen (Proverbs 18:2, 17)5. Be truthful (Proverbs 19)

“He who covers a transgression seeks love, but he who repeats a matter

separates friends.” (Proverbs 17:9)

“The discretion of a man makes him slow to anger, and his glory is to

overlook a transgression.” (Proverbs 19:11)

What should be our motivation to forgive our friends’ mistakes?

What’s the difference between covering a

mistake and excusing sin?

“Covering” involves forgiving, hiding and forgetting (Psalm 85:2).

Sin must be forgiven but reprimanded. It must be hidden and never spread (by gossiping) or excused. It must be forgotten so friendship prevails.

“A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.”(Proverbs 17:17)

We are advised instead to “cover”

the mistake. This is not, however,

to imply that we have to hide the

sin, to act

as if it never

happened,

as if the

person never

did wrong.

The sin that

is covered

is still present,

even though hidden. In fact, the Hebrew word for “cover”

in that expression has the specific con-notation of

“forgiving” (Ps. 85:2, Neh. 4:5). Love, not gossip, should

be our response to someone else’s mistake.

How does love

help in coping

with a friend’s

mistake?

One does not

love a friend

or spouse be-

cause he or

she is perfect. We love in spite of their mistakes and flaws.

Only through love do we learn not to judge others, because

with our own faults and shortcomings we could be just as

guilty. Instead, we can mourn with them over what they

have done, and seek in whatever way we can to help them

work through it. After all, what are friends for if not for this?

Think about a time you

messed up badly and

you were forgiven,

ministered to, and

comforted.

What does that tell you

about how, if possible,

you should do the same

for others?

REFLECTION

“Rebuke is more effective for a wise man than a hundred blows on a fool.” (Proverbs 17:10)

“Strike a scoffer, and the simple will become wary; Rebuke one who has understanding, and

he will discern knowledge.” (Proverbs 19:25)

Sin must be reprimanded. The person who sinned must be aware of his mistake so he can correct his behavior.

Jesus forgave sinners and then He warned them, “Sin no more.” (John 5:14; 8:11).

Love must not be blind or unconditional when covering mistakes.

For example, the exercise of

charity toward the poor should

not be done at the expense of

justice; hence,

the recommen-

dation not to

favor the poor

in court (Exod.

23:3). If love

obliges us to

help the poor,

it would be

unjust to favor them when they are wrong, simply because

they are poor. Justice and truth should therefore go along

with love and compassion. It is this wise balance that

characterizes the torah, the law of God, and which is taught

and promoted in the book of Proverbs.

“Human beings, themselves given to evil, are prone to

deal untenderly with the tempted and the erring. They

cannot read the heart; they know not its struggle and

its pain. Of , of

, of , they

have need to learn.”

E.G.W. (The Acts of the Apostles, cp.51, pg. 516)

Words are powerful, both for good and for evil

(v. 21).

Wise words are deep waters

flowing wisdom (v. 4).

Foolish words cause contention. They

deserve punishment (v. 6). Those who speak them get into trouble

(v. 7).

Gossip is tidbit. They go down deeply for evil

(v. 8).

We find great difficulties when we

answer before listening or before

meditating our words before (v. 13).

The tongue may destroy our reputation and lead us to poverty or even death. If we use it according to God’s will, it can do good everywhere. Let’s use it to bless, to cheer others up and to proclaim the Gospel.

We are again confronted with the

reality and power of words; in this

case we see how fools use their

mouths to their

own undoing.

Verse 13 is es-

pecially enligh-

tening. How

easy it is to

speak out befo-

re carefully lis-

tening and discerning what has been said to us. How

many times might we have spared ourselves, and others,

undue pain and strife if we had only learned to think

through carefully what we had just heard before

responding to it. There is indeed a time when silence is

the best response.

“Fools find no pleasure in understanding but delight in airing their own opinions.” (Proverbs 18:2 NVI)

“We don’t need to discuss this. I’m right!”

We may be so confident about our own wisdom that we think we don’t need to listen to anybody else.

“The first one to plead his cause seems right, until his neighbor comes and examines him.” (Proverbs 18:17)

If we listen to our adversary, we may find out that we were actually wrong.

Those who are led by divine wisdom listen to both sides before judging any question.

God is the only One who doesn’t need a second opinion.

“Better is the poor who walks in his integrity than one who is perverse in his lips, and is a fool.” (Proverbs 19:1)

A lie may bring momentary benefits (a promotion, a friend, escaping punishment…). Nevertheless, liars are always caught sooner or later. Consequences are then serious, so we finally find out that those previous benefits were not actually worth it.

It becomes worse and worse. Everything we got from lying rots and makes our relationships bitter. That is a result of our sin.

“A false witness will not go unpunished, and he who speaks lies will not escape.” (Proverbs 19:5)

5. Be Truthful

A king needed to appoint a new minister to the highest

office of his kingdom. For this purpose, he organized a

special contest on lying: who could utter the biggest lie. All

his ministers applied, and each one came and spoke their

biggest lie. But the king was not satisfied; their lies seemed

lame. The king then asked his closest and most trusted

counselor: “Why didn’t you apply?”

The counselor answered, “I am sorry to

disappoint you, Majesty, but I cannot apply.”

“Why not?” asked the king.

“Because I never lie,” the counselor replied.

The king decided to appoint him to the

position.

As sinners, lying comes to us easier than

we think; for this reason, again, how careful

we need to be with our words.

“Let truth telling be held with no loose hand or

uncertain grasp. Let it become a part of the life.

Playing fast and loose with truth, and

dissembling to suit one’s own selfish plans,

means shipwreck of faith. ‘Stand therefore,

having your loins girt about with truth.’

Ephesians 6:14. He who utters untruths sells

his soul in a cheap market. His falsehoods may

seem to serve in emergencies; he may thus seem

to make business advancement that he could

not gain by fair dealing; but he finally reaches

the place where he can trust no one.”

E.G.W. (The Acts of the Apostles, cp. 7, pg. 75)

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