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Rt Hon John Key

Prime Minister

9th Floor

The Hive

Wellington

New Zealand

13th May 2011

Dear Don

I confirm receipt of your correspondence dated 12th May 2011. Waynepassed it

to me as I was heading off to see the latest choppers. You will see it tonight on

the news. Beauty!!

I have to admit it has been pretty hard comparing ourselves to Australia, kind of

like how inconsequential it is when Phil Goff compares himself to me. I decided

you know mate that we should set our sights a little lower but I have not given

up on the trans-Tasman comparisons. The National Party will go into electionyear comparing ourselves to Tasmania.

I respond to your points as follows:

Why are you continuing Labours wasteful spending?

Well you know mate, when you are 50%+ in the polls you can do whatever you

like. I like being popular and having people ask me for my autograph. Sure, you

get the odd nutter who wants to blow you up but realistically the alternative is

Bill English and I mean, mate, dog tucker imagine if he was in charge! Ha. Even

you took him to pieces when I changed my vote all those years ago.

We are keeping student loans interest free because well we can. Labour made

the bribe so if we roll it back then its gonna mean student s will hate me. I dont

want that. The Welfare, I mean Working for Families is good Don. It means more

people become dependent on government and vote for us. As for the Doctors

visits, you know as well as I do the losers out of your proposed move would be

the Doctors. They are a powerful lobby mate and all the New Zealand born ones

are moving overseas anyway.

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