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Posted: Thu, Mar 17 201 1. 9:17 PM IS T

Cubiclenama | Sidin Vadukut

Dear MBA Class of2011Advice for the worthies undergoing campus placements,delivered in Morgan Freeman-style to soft hip-hop-ish beats

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It is that time of the year when business schools all

over the country begin to go through the collective

voluntary torture that is campus placements. So if you

are in business school right now, I guess things are

pretty crazy. Chill.

Around this time annually, I usually get a few emails from students seeking

advice. Usually its caree r advice Should I be do ing marketing or

banking?and sometimes its advice on alternativesI am convinced I

have an exciting book, about non-vegetarian cupcakes, inside me. What

should I do? (My answer to both questions is: banking.)

This year I have decided to encapsulate all the advice I have to give, not all

of it useful, into one Cubiclenama piece. That way I save you the hassle of

writing to me, and I save myself the agony of cutting and pasting the same

email to all of you without screwing up the Dear Babykutty bit in the

beginning.

However, you know how kids are these days. With their short attention

spans and their disregard for old-fashioned things. Hence I have decided to

make my advice sexy by delivering it roughly to the tune of Baz Luhrmans

popular 1999 single Wear Sunscreen. That song was also targeted at young

people and gave them life advice.

But my version is ta ilored for a mature MBA audience. Imagine it as being

delivered by Morgan Freeman to a soft hip-hop-ish background beat.

***

Ladies and gentleman of the MBA class of 2011,

If I could offer you only one tip for the future, a good USB memory stick

would be it. The long-term benefits of a USB stick have been proved by the

number of times people lose laptops, or are suddenly asked to submit

resumes on a plane or at a conference. The rest of my advice has no basis

more reliable than my meandering work experience.

Enjoy your last few days in business school. Chances are youve already

cynically dismissed the w hole bloody place. But trust me, in five years youll

attend an alumni reunion and realize that business school was perhaps the

The family angle 2.0

Bombs and baccalaureates

I dont care too much

Official resolutions

Internal affairs

Nano seconds

Nano seconds

Phone for focus
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last place you were both truly intellectually challenged and emotionally

excited. Both will happen again. But rarely together.

You are not as smart, or stupid, as you think. Dont worry about the future

or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to make

investments based on research reports that will, one day, be written by

that same clueless idiot sitting next to you in the canteen right now. The

real troubles in your life will never be so lved by a presentation or

spreadshee t, and will always involve other people. And people are

unpredictable sons of bitches.

Spend a little time every day doing nothing.

Listen.

Dont expect organizations to be as committed to you as you are to them.

They dont work that way. If you do find one that is as committed, never

leave.

Jog. (Or walk briskly, or cycle, or do yoga.)

Dont judge yourself by how much money you make. (And no good comesfrom knowing who this is.)

Record all the feedback you ever get in your career. Especially the

inaccurate, pointless, biased and vague bits that drove you nuts. This will

help you when you eventually give feedback to s omebody yourself.

Keep a copy of all your old resumes. When you are struck by bouts of

existential crisis, flip through them in chronological order. Do the same with

resignation letters.

Shave.

Not a lot of people are meant to do something. They just say that to se ll

bad books. Salman Rushdie might make an excellent, and content, supply

chain management consultant. Who knows? You will find various amounts

of meaning and satisfaction in various things. Choose your compromises

wisely.

Youll like the job a little better if you like the dress code.

Take chances when youre young, single and dont have loans to repay.

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Cubiclenama Sidin Vadukut MBA Management Placements Students

Youll take larger chances. Large chances are more fun than small ones.

Be nice to people for the heck of it.

Maybe youll retire when youre 45, maybe you wont, maybe youll get an

Awesome Alumnus Award, maybe you wont, maybe you will marry your

school swee theart, maybe you wont. Whatever happens, do no t forget

those probability lessons they taught you in school. Things tend to e ven

out.

Dance. But keep it classy.

Avoid reading business books. However feel free to write them.

Travel light.

You will most certainly face difficult choices. In most case s it helps to think

of what choice maximizes gain, instead of agonizing over what minimizes

loss.

Invest in a good suit, pair of shoes and get a shave. Thanks to societys

shallowness, the returns will be considerable.

Calm down.

Let people give you advice. Develop the art of looking interested even if

you are not. Pay attention to advice from people who have a stake in your

happiness, and not a s take in your success.

Please stop listening to Pink Floyd.

But forget everything else. Quickly go buy that USB stick.

Best of luck.

Cubiclenama takes a fortnightly look atthe pleasures and perils of corporatelife.

Your comments are welcome [email protected]

To read Sidin Vadukuts previousarticles, go towww.livemint.com/cubiclenama
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