decoding baby

7/29/2019 Decoding Baby

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Decoding Baby's Cries

Sob Story

Four years ago, just after the birth of our oldest daughter, I read

somewhere that most mothers are able to tell what their babies

want by the sound of their cries. I was awed -- and confounded -- as

Phoebe's cries all sounded the same to me.

Turns out I wasn't alone. In studies analyzing the acoustics of crying,

even pediatric nurses could not determine the cause of a cry based

on how it sounded. "It's a myth that you can tell what's wrong by

the sound of the cry," says Harvey Karp, MD, a pediatrician in Los

Angeles and author ofThe Happiest Baby on the Block. "Babies arelike smoke alarms: You can't tell if you burnt the toast or if the whole

house is burning down."
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Tears are Normal

What's more, many experts now believe crying is a state of being for

a newborn, like sleeping or quiet alert. "Crying is a type of normalbehavior in infants," states Marc Weissbluth, MD, a renowned

pediatrician in Chicago and author ofHealthy Sleep Habits, Happy

Child. He even has a little "nursery rhyme" that explains this

behavior: "Babies cry like birds fly: It's part of being the creature we

are."

As a new parent looking for answers, you may need to turn to

context cues to determine if there is a reason behind your infant's

cries. Sometimes the reason for the tears is fairly obvious. Other

times, you just want to throw up your hands and sob yourself. If she

last ate two hours ago, chances are good she's hungry. Or if she's

been awake for 90 minutes or more, she's probably tired.
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A Few Caveats

Experts say a small percentage of crying is inconsolable. "Even if

you try everything that comes to mind to soothe your baby, don't

assume you can stop all crying," says Ron Barr, PhD, a crying expert

and professor in the department of pediatrics at the University of

British Columbia. "Some crying is unsoothable and that's okay. Your

baby is fine and you're doing a good job." Also, while we offer plentyof advice on how to pacify your baby in most instances, remember

that each baby is unique. Experiment and see what works to calm

yours.


4/10

Is Baby Hungry?

Sounds like: Fairly desperate and unrelenting; usually high pitched.

Other clues: She was breastfed more than an hour and a half to

three hours ago or had a bottle two to four hours earlier. Baby roots

around with mouth, wiggles, or gets frantic.

Solution: When in doubt, assume your baby is crying because he's

hungry and offer him the breast or a bottle. But if he's bottlefed, he

may not be ready for more formula, says Deana Andersen-Tennant,

a postpartumdoula in Portland, Oregon, who specializes in families

with multiples. "If he hasn't had at least two hours to digest theformula, giving him more may cause him to be unhappy and

uncomfortable."

For breastfed babies, sometimes being held, but not fed, by Mom

can be upsetting: Your baby can smell your milk. In this case, let

Dad step in and hold the baby for a while.

Is Baby Tired?

Sounds like: Breathy, helpless. This cry can be intermittent and is

more easily soothed than most others.
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Other clues: Baby's eyes are closed but baby is restless. Or, her

eyes may be open and glassy, with redness or puffiness underneath

them. Baby may rub her eyes.

Solution: To help your baby sleep better at night, try swaddling her.

Deana Andersen-Tennant, a postpartumdoula in Portland, Oregon,

who specializes in families with multiples., who typically works

nights for families, has found that nine out of 10 babies are

comforted by swaddling. (She recommends waffle-weave blankets

to all her clients.) "Swaddling usually works like a charm with Whit

when he's overtired," testifies Stacy Whitman, a writer in Hailey,

Idaho, whose son is 9 months old. "The key is to swaddle nice and

tight. I put the binky in first -- it helps him calm down so he doesn't

'fight' the swaddle."

Also, if you are fairly convinced your baby is tired yet seems restless

in your arms, put him down. "An overly tired baby sometimes just

wants to be put down and allowed to sleep," says Andersen-Tennant.

Is Baby Bored or Overstimulated?
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Sounds like: Usually not as loud as other cries and is often

staccato. Boredom can easily transition to laughter; overstimulated

can escalate to shrieking.

Other clues: An overstimulated baby might turn his head away

from you or other stimuli. He may angrily bat at an object.

Solution: In the case of a bored baby, delay your response by a few

seconds or a minute, recommends Marc Weissbluth, MD, a

renowned in Chicago and author ofHealthy Sleep Habits, Happy

Child, who also wrote Your Fussy Baby. "In the first several weeks of

life, you can't spoil your child or give him too much attention. But

that doesn't mean you must respond promptly to every sound yourchild makes." During the delay, your baby may become engaged by

the pattern on his crib bumpers or his hands in front of his face, thus

eliminating the need for attention. Remind yourself you're not being

cruel or unsympathetic, just laying the foundation for self-soothing.

To calm an amped-up baby, try white noise -- such as a noise

machine, vacuum cleaner, or whirring fan. Carrie Barbaro Kane, of

Evanston, Illinois, devised a different calming strategy: She runs

warm water over the hands and feet of her 14-month-old son,

Jameson.

Is Baby Annoyed or Uncomfortable?
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Sounds like: Forced and whiny; has a pattern of short repetitions,

like "uh-UH, uh-UH."

Other clues: He may bat with his hands or scrunch up his face.

Solution: Look for causes. When my now-11-month-old twin

daughter was an infant, she'd sometimes suddenly start crying

while we were out on a walk. I soon realized the repeat offender. Her

hat had slipped over her eyes. I'd move the hat, and the howling

would cease. In myriad situations, parents have discovered the

calming effect of singing. Once you and baby find your song, simply

crooning it can help quell stressful situations.

An unexpected cause of crying: Your infant might be cold, even

indoors. Your best defense is to dress her in layers. "If her head or

face doesn't feel warm, then put a hat on your baby," suggests

Deana Andersen-Tennant, a postpartum doula in Portland, Oregon,

who specializes in families with multiples. One thing that doesn't

cause crying is a wet or soiled diaper -- unless your baby has

extreme diaper rash.
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8/10

Is Baby in Pain?

Sounds like: Piercing and grating.

Other clues: She may arch her back or thrash. With gas pain, an

infant brings her knees up to her chest or grunts.

Solution: A pacifier can live up to its name in many cases, as the

sucking reflex calms a baby. Deana Andersen-Tennant swears by

pacifiers to help babies pass gas through their systems, but she

notes that bottlefed babies take to them better. If you're going to be

in a situation you know will cause your baby pain -- such as getting

a vaccine or a heel-prick -- then give your baby a pacifier during theprocedure or breastfeed him just prior to it.

Concerned your baby's cries indicate something more serious?

Ultimately, go with your gut. When it comes to your baby, you are

the best expert.

Does Baby Have Colic?

Colic is a term that defines extended periods of crying -- crying that

lasts for three or more hours, three or more nights of the week,

during the first three months of life. About 20 percent of babies

suffer from colic -- and their families along with them. "Parents who

have never had a colicky baby can't realize how it can absolutely

ruin you," says Harvey Karp, MD, a Los Angeles-based pediatrician.

"It's very, very tough."
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There's no known cause of colic -- it's not gas, as some parents

suspect -- but Dr. Karp outlines a calming method in his book The

Happiest Baby on the Block. It's called the 5 S's:

Swaddle. Cross his arms over his chest, inside the wrap. Don't be

afraid to make it super-snug -- it gives your baby a sense of security.

Side/Stomach. Many babies aren't happy on their back, so hold

your infant on her side or tummy-down.

Shhh. Dr. Karp believes shushing a baby calms her by reminding

her of being in the womb. Shush vigorously in your baby's ear -- "as

loudly as your baby is crying."

Swinging. Supporting your baby's head, swing your swaddled baby

in your arms or in a mechanized swing.

Sucking. Once your baby is calm, offer him your finger, breast, or a

pacifier to suck. It's "icing on the cake of soothing," says Dr. Karp.

Classes that teach the 5 S's are being introduced at many hospitals.

Dr. Karp also demonstrates the method on his companion DVD.

Parent's Own Tears
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10/10

As every new parent knows, your baby's cry prompts a physical

reaction in you. It raises your blood pressure and pulse, for example.

If it goes on long enough, crying seems enough to make you lose

your mind -- or your temper.

When your baby's inconsolable crying bout gets to be too much for

you, place her somewhere safe (like in her crib) and remove yourself

from the situation. "If it gets too frustrating, it's okay to walk away,"

says Ron Barr, PhD, a professor in the department of pediatrics at

the University of British Columbia, who helped develop strategies to

decrease the incidence ofshaken baby syndrome. "You need to

lower your temperature about the situation. Get yourself together

and then come back. You're still being a good parent." Above all

else, never, ever shake your baby.

Originally published in American Baby magazine, June 2006,

Updated 2010.
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