Developing Personal and Social

Competence

Christian Education teaches us how to live well within

Our Space

Overview

• Why be committed to personal and social development?

• Four stories...• What God is committed to• What we need to be committed to

The ASC Learning Outcomes• recognise and understand their own emotions, values and strengths, have

a realistic assessment of their own abilities and a well-grounded sense of self-esteem and self-confidence (self awareness)

• manage their emotions and behaviour, persevere in overcoming obstacles, set personal and academic goals, develop self-discipline, resilience, adaptability and initiative (Self-management)

• perceive and understand other people’s emotions and viewpoints, show understanding and empathy for others, identify the strengths of team members, define and accept individual and group roles and responsibilities, be of service to others (Social awareness)

• form positive relationships, manage and influence the emotions and moods of others, cooperate and communicate effectively with others, work in teams, build leadership skills, make decisions, resolve conflict and resist inappropriate social pressure (Social management).

Do we believe in this?

• Isn’t this the opposite of the Gospel?• Dying to self, not finding ourself?• What should we think, as Christians, about

this curriculum aim?

What does Christian Personal and Social Education mean?

Is it legitimate to seek to DEVELOP the self esteem,

confidence and self assertiveness of a child?

If so, how?

And how does that relate to developing their FAITH

and DEPENDENCE on God’s love for us?

A story of Four children...

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Sam Peace

Lex Pete

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They had all been born at the same time

When they were born they didn’t know where they ended and where the world began

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They were starting a process called INDIVIDUATION

Whereby each of us establishes a sense of our own SPACE in the world

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OUR SPACE is WHAT MAKES US US

It is composed of our character, personality, skills,

needs, beliefs, physique, emotions, desires, fears, hopes, feelings, ideas and

more

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SAM’S SPACE WAS NEVER REALLY PROPERLY CULTIVATED BY THOSE AROUND HER

So it never grew strongly and clearly defined

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SAM’S DEFENDING

SPACE

So she never grew to trust other people

SOME IMPORTANT PEOPLE LEFT SAM’S SPACE, WHEN THEY SAID THEY WOULDN’T

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“I call this DEFENDING because I defend my space from being damaged by other people. I watch to see if people might be unkind or untrustworthy. I avoid them, and instead try to find people who will be trustworthy and on my side.”

OVER TIME, THIS BECAME SAM’S DEFENDING SPACE

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Like Sam’s it also never really grew strongly and

clearly defined

PEACE’S SPACE WAS ALSO A BIT OVERLOOKED

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Unlike Sam, she would bend, and flex and try anything

to get the attention and affirmation she needed

PEACE TRIED HARD TO GET PEOPLE TO APPRECIATE HER SPACE......

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“I call this ADAPTING because I adapt my space to fit in with what others need or want around me. I do things that others like. I avoid things that might upset others. Because I try to please, I get worried if you are not pleased with me.”

OVER TIME THIS BECAME PEACE’S ADAPTING SPACE

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IN CONTRAST, LEX’S SPACE WAS INTENSIVELY CULTIVATED

MY DEFINING

SPACE

As a result, unlike Sam and Peace’s spaces it grew strongly defined by doing the things that won praise

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LEX WORKED HARD TO ENSURE HE MAINTAINED HIS SUCCESS

MY DEFINING

SPACE

He developed a strong belief in himself, along with a reluctance to try anything he might fail in

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OVER TIME, THIS BECAME LEX’S DEFINING SPACE

MY DEFINING

SPACE

“I call this DEFINING because I define what happens in my space. I like to do things which I feel in control of. I avoid

things I might fail in. Because I practise, I am good at what I choose to do.”

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FINALLY, PETE’S SPACE WAS CULTIVATED WITH GREAT AFFIRMATION

His experience was that people approved of his space even when it didn’t look its best

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THIS MADE PETE OPTIMISTIC AND SOMETIMES A BIT OVER-CONFIDENT

When he made mistakes, he dusted himself off and

carried on, not always learning from the experience.

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OVER TIME THIS BECAME PETE’S SHAPING SPACE

“I call this SHAPING because I shape what happens in my space. It feels strong and flexible. I can say yes to some things and no to other things without worrying what people will think about me. I make my own mind up about things.”

MY DEFINING

SPACE

So the four children developed different SPACES

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Lex Pete

PeaceSam

The science....

• Individuation• Attachment theory• Human Ecology Theory

One day, each of them met someone who understood about their particular SPACE...

His name was Jesus

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The day Sam met Jesus, she was

collecting water from a well, far, far away because she no longer trusted

other people.

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He invited her to give him a drink

This was strange because Sam had nothing in side her SPACE to give herself or him- it had all been taken out.

MY DEFINING

SPACE

But he offered to put in her a SPRING OF WATER that wouldn’t run dry

The water, he promised, would make her SPACE thrive so she would not need to keep searching for men to feel

loved, accepted and appreciated,

MY DEFINING

SPACE

As her SPACE grew more strongly defined by the WELL inside her, she found new TRUST in

herself and OTHER PEOPLE

So Sam ran off to tell her neighbours ABOUT THE MAN who had put the well inside her to make her SPACE thrive again

Peace met Jesus, in a crowded market square, when she managed to touch

his robe by crawling on her

hands and knees.

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Touching Jesus’ robe healed Peace of her bleeding, which had never stopped before!

But then Jesus did something terrible... He made her stand up in the middle of the crowd with everyone around her. Peace knew her SPACE could not protect her as it was not

strong enough.

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After Jesus’ words, Peace’s SPACE was healed on the outside, as well as on the inside

But Jesus told the crowd she was now at PEACE , that they should accept her back and not trample on her SPACE anymore

Now her SPACE was changed, Peace was able to go to the temple, the market and even seek a husband

Jesus healed her SPACE; now she really was at PEACE

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Lex went to meet Jesus because he

wanted to check if there was anything else he needed to

put into his SPACE to obtain eternal life

MY DEFINING

SPACE

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JESUS ASKED LEX WHETHER HE THOUGHT HE NEEDED ANYTHING ELSE

MY DEFINING

SPACE

Lex didn’t think he did, because he had always managed to build his SPACE independently, on his

own, without relying on anyone else

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SO JESUS INVITED LEX TO LEAVE HIS SPACE BEHIND

MY DEFINING

SPACE

This made Lex frightened; he had never had to live without all the things he had collected in his SPACE

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JESUS NEEDED LEX TO DEPEND ON HIM RATHER THAN ON HIS SPACE

But Lex wasn’t able to trust Jesus to meet all his needs- so he went away to live in his SPACE on his own...

He was SAD.

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WHEN PETE MET JESUS HE WAS

CALLED SIMON.

JESUS ASKED HIM TO FOLLOW HIM,

AND HE DID.

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JESUS WANTED SIMON’S SPACE TO BE A ROCK FOR OTHERS, SO HE GAVE HIM A

NEW NAME, PETE

But Pete thought Jesus wanted him to be tough in himself- which was what he always had been.

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JESUS HAD TO TEACH PETE THAT EVEN THOUGH HE TRUSTED GOD HE STILL TRUSTED HIMSELF

TOO

So he let Pete discover what it felt like to be afraid, alone and utterly vulnerable.

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PETE DISCOVERED THAT JESUS WAS STILL WITH HIM, EVEN WHEN HE SEEMED ABANDONED

And THIS PRESENCE was the basis of Pete’s SPACE- strong enough to survive his own death and for Jesus to

build his church on.

MY DEFINING

SPACE

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Lex Pete

PeaceSam

So what does this tell us about PERSONAL and SOCIAL Development?

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Lex Pete

PeaceSam

Our schools are full of Sams, Peaces, Lexs and Petes

MY DEFINING

SPACE

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Lex Pete

PeaceSam

The Gospel affects their SOCIAL and EMOTIONAL development as well as their spiritual

Growing emotionally is about growing to fully inhabit your SPACE

Q: WHY IS GOD INTERESTED IN OUR SPACE?

Because that is the restoration of Eden

What have we learned?

• Personal and social development is a Gospel matter

• Jesus was committed to it- it is a fundamental outworking of being saved.

• We don’t save people spiritually without also saving them emotionally and socially

• Our Eden SPACE is healed through the Gospel• The pastoral work of this is in our hands.... Next

session

That is what we must look at AFTER the BREAK

Christian Education teaches us how to live well within

Our Space

St Irenaeus