DEVELOPING

POSITIVE RELATIONSHIPS

Title III / 2015 Technical Assistance Workshop Presented by Eloise Abernathy Alexis / VP for College Relations / Spelman College

6/25/2015

…or we could have called this session

How to Win Friends and Influence People

Keeping Your Friends Close and Your Enemies

Closer

How to Deal with Difficult People (Even if One

of Them is You)

2

Positive Relationships Context

24 years of varied experiences in

higher education

Friendraising and Fundraising

Alumnae Affairs • Annual

Giving • Leadership Gifts •

Planned Giving • Donor

Relations • Volunteer

Management •

Communications • Special

Events • Campus Welcome

and Information Center •

Co-curricular Programs •

Title III • Government

Relations

Workplace interactions with

colleagues

Leading and managing staff and

working with vendors

Lifetime of living and learning

accountable citizenship

Experiences

Title III Administration:

The Value of Our Work

Make the improbable and

impossible POSSIBLE

Are the “LIFEBLOOD” of our

institutions

Allow us to do a LOT with a

little

Help us SURVIVE the present

and BUILD for the future

CATALYST for ensuring the

PROMISE of new GREATNESS

TIII Dollars…

Title III Administration:

Recognizing the Impact

“You’ll be

remembered in this

life for one thing --

the problems you

solve or the ones

you create.” -UNKNOWN

Title III funds are

Problem Solvers!

Title III Administration:

Understanding Our Spheres of Influence

• Chancellor

• President

• Provost & VPs

• Students

• Faculty

• Program/Project

Directors

• Business Office

• IA /Sponsored

Programs

Title III

Administrators

• Local/State/Nat'l

Officials

• Department of

Education

• Agency &

Community

Partners

Title III Administration:

Developing Positive Relationships

You can’t do your

work without others,

yet the quality of

your relationships

begins and ends with

YOU.

Title III Administration:

Developing Positive Relationships

This above all:

to thine own self be true,

And it must follow,

as the night the day,

Thou canst not then be false

to any man. -Shakespeare (Hamlet)

Translation:

Know thyself. For the person who can

confront the demon within, there is a

hopeful prognosis.

-Gary Diedrichs

Developing Positive Relationships:

Opportunities for Self-Assessment

Are you self-aware?

Yes: From where did your self-

awareness come?

Occasionally / No: Seek out tools

and credible voices you trust to

raise awareness

Developing Positive Relationships:

Opportunities for Self-Assessment 10

Developing Positive Relationships:

Get to know thy self

Read, Question, Test and Assess

Commit to being your best self – for yourself

and with others

Make the adjustments. It’s all about you!

Professional Development

Classes, Courses and Conferences

Coaches and Composite Mentoring

Mind, Body & Spirit

Gravitate toward your gifts and passions

“Diversify Your Identify” – article by Mark Manson

11

Developing Positive Relationships:

Seek to Understand, Not to Be Understood

Do you pay attention to the people with whom you work?

To what do they respond? - Preferences and Interests

How do they respond? - Style &Personality

Do you adjust your style accordingly?

Do you consider the workload, peak times and deadlines of

others?

Are you paralyzed or pushy based on the positions of

others – President? Senior Leadership? Faculty? Facilities

Management? Students?

Are you skilled at managing up, over, under and outside

your organizational chain of command?

Are you staffing to ensure balance and best practice around

styles/preferences?

12

Developing Positive Relationships:

Seek to Understand, Not to Be Understood

Those who like FACTS:

Be brief, clear and concise

Share data and fact based charts

Align presentations and requests with their stated goals and

objectives

Those who like ORGANIZATION:

Provide written schedule and action plan

Thorough and timely follow through

Explanations

15

Developing Positive Relationships:

Seek to Understand, Not to Be Understood

Those who focus on the BIG PICTURE:

Want a chance to share their thoughts and ideas

Don’t mind spontaneous tasks

More interested in the long-term objectives

Those who like the INTERPERSONAL:

Prefer a positive attitude and personal touch

Involvement with others -- teamwork

Evidence that the impact on others has been considered

16

Developing Positive Relationships:

Sum of the Parts

The Value of Our Work

Recognizing the Impact

Understanding our Spheres of

Influence

Opportunities for Self-Assessment

Seek to Understand Others

Developing Positive Relationships:

Resources for the Road* (*examples not endorsements)

Books

StandOut: Find Your Edge. Win At Work

(Marcus Buckingham)

Crucial Conversations: Tools for talking when stakes are high

(Patterson, Grenny, McMillan, Switzler)

QBQ: The Question Behind the Question (What to Really

Ask Yourself to Eliminate Blame, Victim Thinking,

Complaining and Procrastination (John G. Miller)

Managing Up (Rosanne Badowski)

Teamwork 101 (John Maxwell)

Ten Commandments of Working in a Hostile Environment

(T.D. Jakes)

The Assignment, Vols 1-4 (Mike Murdock)

Articles

Fast Company: 5 Biggest Mistakes You’re Making with

Work Relationships

Diversify Your Identity (Mark Manson)

18

Positive Relationships Laboratory

Sharing our individual

& collective:

Experiences

Examples

Expectations