discover your strengths
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Discover Your
Strengths
Brent O'Bannon
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Discover Your Strengths Copyright 2012 by Brent O’Bannon, MBS All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording or by any information storage and retrieval system without written permission from the author, except for the inclusion of brief quotations in a review. The author, editing team, and publisher have made every effort to ensure accuracy and completeness of the information contained in this book. We assume no responsibility for errors, inaccuracies, omissions, or any inconsistency herein. Any slights of people, places, or organizations are unintentional. The author and R&B Publishing shall have neither liability nor responsibility to any person or entity with respect to any loss or damage caused directly or indirectly by the information contained in this book, and we do not represent or endorse the accuracy or reliability of any of the recommendations, ideas, or quality of any products, information, or other materials included in the individual chapter. R&B Publishing 115 S. Travis, Ste. 303 Sherman, TX 75090 First Edition: July 2012 Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data O’Bannon, Brent O'Bannon
Discover Your Strengths, 1st ed. ISBN 978-0-9798049-8-4 1. Psychology 2. Management 3. Business
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Dedicated to my first mastermind
that discovered and applied
our strengths to business success:
Latham, Ruth, Steve, Brett, Mike, Ryan
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Acknowledgements
“Gratitude is happiness doubled by wonder.”
-G.K. Chesterton
My right hand assistant and rock star, Rachael
Kay Albers, is to be highly thanked for her hours of
transcribing, editing, and creative expertise in the
completion of this writing project. Rachael’s top five
strengths are Activator, Strategic, Connectedness,
Individualization, and Communication. I highly
recommend Rachael as a virtual assistant, writer,
and web designer. You can find her at
www.RKAink.com. Thank you for who you are and
what you share.
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Table of Contents
Unlocking Your Potential ..................................... 9
What is a Strength? ............................................. 42
Creating Momentum ........................................... 67
Starting Your Journey .........................................96
Getting Strategic ................................................ 134
Influencing Success ...........................................165
Building Strong Relationships ...........................197
On the Road With Your Strengths ....................228
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Chapter 1
Unlocking Your Potential
“Life is like a combination lock; when you get the right
numbers in the right order, you unlock your potential.”
Brian Tracy
In my twenty years as a licensed professional
counselor, I have always believed that every human
being has their own recipe for success—their own
combination of potential. This combination is not
something you must search for outside yourself, it’s
already inside of you. It’s your responsibility to get
the right numbers in the right order to access your
natural potential.
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In my life, as well as in coaching more than
27,000 people in twenty years, I have discovered that
the “right numbers” are best known as our strengths.
When you identify your top five strengths and begin
to understand how these strengths apply to your
personal and professional life, this knowledge will
literally unlock your potential. This happened for me
about two and a half years ago when I created what is
called a Mastermind group and invited several
businesspeople and entrepreneurs from my
community to join me. I wanted to learn from their
successes—both personal and professional—and, to
my delight, they jumped at the chance.
In an early meeting, one particular individual
in the group—a life and business coach himself—
encouraged all of us to take the StrengthsFinder 2.0
assessment from the book by Tom Rath. Yet, with my
background in Psychology, I thought I had already
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taken all the psychological assessments worth
consulting, so I dismissed the StrengthsFinder as a
fad: “I really don’t want to take another assessment. I
already know it all.” Finally, another group member
took the assessment and, two weeks later, shared
with us how inspired he was by the results. Not one
to be left out, I went ahead and purchased the
StrengthsFinder 2.0, took the assessment and—
wow!—I felt like I was lit on fire when I discovered
my top five strengths. From that moment, I have
been a passionate advocate of discovering your
strengths, applying them in your life, and building
your life around them. And, as you might guess, my
wife and two adult children have also discovered
their top strengths, as well as many of my coaching
clients. With the purchase of this book, you join
countless other individuals with undiscovered talents
who are ready to get their hands on the keys to
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unlocking their potential. Are you ready to reach new
heights with your top five strengths?
ALLOW ME TO INTRODUCE MYSELF
º
I am Brent O’Bannon and I am an executive
strengths coach that builds strengths based
organizations and creates momentum for leaders
and teams. I have conducted more than 27,000
coaching sessions and spoken to more than 55
organizations in the United States and China.
Retrieving Your Keys
I want to ask you a question. Have you ever
locked your keys in your car? I have. (When I was in
college, it seemed like every other day I was locking
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myself out of my car. In fact, I got what was called
the “Coat Hanger Award” because I became
somewhat of an expert on using a coat hanger to get
inside my vehicle and retrieve my keys.) One day, it
dawned on me that many of us get locked out of our
potential—our capacity for success—because we have
lost our keys. So, we try to white knuckle it—we work
extra hard on our weaknesses, trying to overcome or
improve our soft spots. But the point is, we're
focused on our weaknesses, not our strengths. When
asked, “What are your strengths? What do you do
well?” most people automatically respond with what
they are not good at—we have been conditioned to
think in terms of weaknesses, not strengths. What I
have discovered is that when we quit trying to do it
ourselves and we hire a coach—a locksmith with a
slim jim who can quickly open the door so we can get
our hands on the keys—that is what gets us moving
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towards our destination, our dreams. By starting this
book, you have already taken that first step. Imagine
me as your locksmith. Follow along and I'll help put
the keys in your hands to get you moving towards
your dreams. The good news is, your keys are ready
for you to use. No need to go searching for them—
you can access your personal and professional
potential in minutes. My client Brenda1
is a great
example. Brenda, like you, enlisted me as her
“strengths locksmith” and we worked together to
help get her on the road to success. A few big things
happened to Brenda in the process:
� She learned brand new things about herself � She developed a language for her strengths � She learned how to balance her strengths;
and
1 Brenda graciously gave me permission use her story in this book.
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� She jumpstarted her marriage.
Before coaching, Brenda was like many of us
raised with a deficiency-based model of personal
development—she could never express what she was
good at because she was so focused on her
weaknesses. When she discovered her top five
strengths, Brenda's self-awareness and self-
confidence skyrocketed. Some of us have an idea of
what our strengths are, we just don’t have the right
words—a language—to describe them. Through
coaching, Brenda learned how to clearly articulate
her top five strengths—and you will, too. (Of course,
we all have more than five strengths, but the top five
are the most dominant. These strengths are where
we want to focus to get moving towards success.) In
our sessions, when Brenda and I discussed balancing
strengths and focusing away from weaknesses, I
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shared how, when we overuse a strength, it can
derail us from success, whereas a strength—overused
or not—is never a weakness. An overused strength
can be a hindrance, but it is never a weakness. The
real danger lies in underusing strengths, whether we
are simply unaware of them or have forgotten about
them from years past. When we aren't using all of
our strengths, the terrain towards prosperity
becomes that much more difficult to navigate.
In Brenda's case, I helped her focus less on
her weaknesses so she could concentrate on
balancing—and maximizing—each of her top five
strengths. (And I'm going to show you how to do the
same!) One of my best coaching moments—for both
me and Brenda—was when she called me with big
news, only six weeks after we started working
together. Originally, Brenda hired me to help her
work towards a promotion and I knew the interview
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was coming up, so I had my fingers crossed when I
answered the phone. I started beaming as soon as I
heard the excitement in her voice. Sure enough,
Brenda's strengths-infused interview was a success!
With her new sense of self-confidence, as well as her
“strengths script”—the language she used to define
and communicate her strengths—Brenda was able to
sell herself and unlock her potential, catapulting her
into the next career and income level. But, since she
only expected results in her professional life, the big
surprise was how discovering her strengths affected
Brenda's marriage, her take on parenthood, and her
relationships with family and friends. These types of
results are why I do what I do—guiding people to use
their strengths, not only to yield career success, but
also to help improve their love lives, deepen their
connections with their kids, and grow their sense of
personal satisfaction. When you understand each
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person's unique set of strengths and they know how
to best deal with yours, you get your hands on the
key to healthy, thriving relationships.
DISCOVERY QUESTIONS
º
1. When was the last time you spoke about one of
your strengths with a friend, colleague, or family
member? When was the last time you spoke about a
weakness?
2. In five-ten words, write down some of the phrases
you currently use to describe your strengths.
The Strength Movement Begins
The father of the Strengths Movement was
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Abraham Maslow, a second generation Jewish
immigrant from Russia and the eldest of seven
children, born in Brooklyn, New York. Maslow was a
timid, awkward young man who confronted heavy
anti-Semitism growing up in Brooklyn. He writes
about being picked on by gangs, called names, hit
with rocks, even beaten up, over the course of his
young life. Of course, Maslow wasn’t a perfect
person. He was a human being just like all of us,
struggling with the ghosts of his past and a difficult
relationship with his mother, whom he was quoted
as saying he was repulsed by because she never loved
him unconditionally. But what Maslow did do, after
studying Sigmund Freud, was develop a different
type of psychology—a “healthy” psychology, as he
deemed it. “It is as if Freud supplied us with the sick
half of psychology and we must now fill it out with
the healthy half,” he writes in Toward a Psychology
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of Being. “There are two faces of human nature—the
sick and the healthy—so there should be two faces of
psychology.” Though Maslow was marked by the
negative effects of anti-Semitism and difficult family
dynamics, he found a way to focus on the healthy
side of psychology.
The Psychology of Potential
Maslow believed that all humans have a drive
to succeed and fulfill their human potential—that
we're not simply reacting to crisis or illness. You may
have read about his famous hierarchy of needs, the
basis of which is that all of us have physiological
needs—for food, water, warmth, etc.—which are what
we strive for, first and foremost. If you travel to a
developing country, for example, you'll see how the
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majority of its population concentrates on meeting
these basic needs, making it difficult to focus on
anything else.
After physiological needs, safety needs are at
the next level of Maslow's hierarchy. Safety
encompasses not only physical security, protection,
and shelter, but a sense of emotional security, as
well. Have you ever noticed how living in a home that
protects you from the elements automatically gives
you a greater sense of security in general?
Following safety is what Maslow called the
belonging need. This is the need for relationships,
love, and, most importantly, unconditional
acceptance—something near and dear to Maslow's
heart. You can satisfy this need with family, friends,
or another type of “family” that you consciously
create. This happened to me. When I was a teenager
in high school, a family I knew would take me to
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church every Sunday—something I had never been
involved in before. This adopted “family” connected
me with positive influences in my youth group and,
though I had a great relationship with my parents,
added to my sense of belonging—being part of a
community.
The next level in Maslow's hierarchy is self
esteem, the part of us that wants to have mastery
over ourselves and be significant in the world around
us—to achieve something and make a difference. We
want to know that who we are is important, a need
inextricably linked to being and doing our best,
which is the highest need that Maslow talked about—
self actualization.
According to Maslow, the pinnacle of life is
being your best, using your creative talents, having a
mission in life, making a difference in the world, and
pursuing the highest for yourself and the world
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around you. Maslow was the first person to do case
studies on healthy, successful people. Instead of
focusing on mental illness and abnormal psychology,
he began by studying historical figures who were
successful—inspirational leaders like President
Thomas Jefferson or psychologist and philosopher
William James. Then, he moved to case studies on
his contemporaries, all while fleshing out his own
theory on success psychology, which eventually led
him to develop the thirteen characteristics of self-
actualizing people.
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MASLOW'S HIERARCHY OF NEEDS
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The 13 Characteristics of Self-Actualizing People
1. Self-actualizing people are comfortable
with reality and have a clear view of it. Not
overly negative, self-actualizing people are no
Pollyannas, either. Self-actualizing people possess a
balanced, straightforward understanding of the
reality of life.
2. Self-actualizing people have a natural
sense of spontaneity and simplicity without
pretension. In other words, self-actualizing people
are comfortable in their own skin.
3. Self-actualizing people are mission-
driven. Instead of focusing on themselves, self-
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actualizing people direct their attention to fulfilling a
mission or purpose for the world around them.
4. Self-actualizing people have a healthy
sense of detachment and a need for privacy.
Another way to say this is boundaries, or, the ability
to detach and energize. Self-actualizing people love
themselves and enjoy solitude without feeling lonely.
5. Self-actualizing people are autonomous.
Not too reliant on others, the self-actualizing
individual is strongly independent.
6. Self-actualizing people feel deeply
grateful. A continued freshness of appreciation—a
sense of gratitude—for what one has in life, without
focusing on material wealth is another characteristic
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of a self-actualizing person.
7. Self-actualizing people have peak
experiences. I have experienced many mystical
moments in my life, from watching the sun rise at
the Grand Canyon to delivering my first child and
literally bringing her into the world with my own
hands. Those are peak experiences that I will never
forget and they only enhance my sense of gratitude.
8. Self-actualizing people have a feeling of
kinship with the human race. Free of prejudice,
this kinship is the sense of being connected to all of
the world's people, no matter their beliefs or
experiences.
9. Self-actualizing people have strong
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relationships. Though, they tend to limit deep,
intimate relationships to a small number of people.
10. Self-actualizing people have a
democratic character structure. Self-
actualizing people want to treat others fairly and be
treated fairly themselves.
11. Self-actualizing people have ethical
discrimination between means and ends.
Ethical discrimination between means and ends—
good and evil—is the foundation for serving others
instead of oneself and treating people with respect.
12. Self-actualizing people have a great
sense of humor. A friendly, playful sense of humor
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allows self-actualizing people to laugh at themselves
and with the world.
13. Self-actualizing people balance the
polarities in their personality. For example, a
self-actualizing person who is serious minded can
also be playful and childlike. According to Maslow,
the ability to balance our polarities helps us achieve
our full potential.
DISCOVERY QUESTIONS
º
1. How self-actualizing do you feel you are, based on
Maslow's characteristics? Which of the thirteen
characteristics do you identify with your own
personality?
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2. What differences do you notice between your
personality and Maslow's thirteen characteristics?
3. Which of the thirteen characteristics of a self-
actualizing person do your friends and family
possess?
The Birth of Positive Psychology
Now that you have a basic understanding of
the growing Strengths Movement, I want to switch
gears and touch on the birth of positive psychology,
the father of which is Martin Seligman, a
psychologist and the former president of the
American Psychological Association (APA). Seligman
is best known for his assertion that psychology is
“half-baked,” referring to the community's narrow
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focus on mental illness and its lack of understanding
of success, strengths, and human potential. Seligman
started a revolution aimed at understanding how
people become their best selves. I highly recommend
his books, Learned Optimism, Authentic Happiness,
and his latest, Flourish, which he wrote after being
hired by the U.S. Army to teach about mental
toughness and resilience to trauma. The book's
message is about redirecting the focus from post-
traumatic stress disorder to post-traumatic stress
growth and how people endure incredible trauma
and still become more resilient and successful.
Another one of the things that I really admire about
Seligman is how he veered from the Diagnostic
Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM), the
manual of research by the APA that defines mental
illnesses. If you want to know about anxiety
disorders, major depression disorders, or personality
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disorders, you go to the DSM. But Seligman and his
contemporaries devised a positive alternative,
originally called Values in Action, or the VIA, which
emphasizes strength and character, not illness. I
encourage you to take the VIA survey to determine
your top five character strengths—Seligman
developed twenty four. The VIA is the perfect
supplement to the StrengthsFinder 2.0 because it
helps add more texture and definition to your
developing “strengths script.”
The StrengthsFinder Revolution
At the head of the StrengthsFinder revolution
is Donald Clifton, the inspiration for strengths
psychology and the designer of the first strengths
finder assessment, teaming up with Gallup Polls,
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who have now conducted over a million assessments
using his tool. Clifton, who passed away in 2003, was
a scientific trailblazer when it came to developing the
StrengthsFinder—the very assessment that you will
be learning about in the next few chapters. The
StrengthsFinder highlights thirty four different
strengths and is set apart from other similar
assessments because of its high level of consistency,
meaning that if you were to take this assessment
while feeling blue or on top of the world, you would
still discover the authentic you. If you take this
assessment in ten years, for example, you will likely
get identical results. In other words, according to
Donald Clifton, your core strengths are set from the
time you are born, though they do grow and evolve
over time.
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The Modern Strengths Movement
The Strengths Movement continues to grow.
Two contemporary leaders are Marcus Buckingham
and Tom Rath—the author who partnered with
Gallup Polls to create the StrengthsFinder 2.0. Rath
also wrote Strengths Based Leadership with Barry
Conche, linking strengths to leadership. Marcus
Buckingham is the author of several books,
including, Go Put Your Strengths to Work: Six
Powerful Steps to Achieve Outstanding
Performance. (Rath and Buckingham are a couple of
my heroes and their work has inspired me to play my
own part in the Strengths Revolution!) In his book,
Go Put Your Strengths to Work, Marcus
Buckingham reveals the three myths and truths
about the Strengths Movement.
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The Three Myths and Truths of the Strengths Movement
Myth #1: Personalities change over time.
Ever heard popular wisdom that says, as you
grow and live, your personality changes?
Buckingham says that's nothing but a myth and—get
this—you can’t really be anything you want to be.
How many of us were taught that? The idea that, if
you work hard enough, you can be anything you want
to be? Myth. Buckingham suggests that, with your
strengths, you can become more of who you already
are. According to Buckingham's research, your
personality is predominately consistent from birth to
death. As you shift your mindset and learn how to
maximize your top five strengths, you cultivate what
is already inside of you. Your values, skills, self-
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awareness, and behaviors might change but the most
dominant aspects of your personality—your talents—
will remain the same throughout your lifetime.
Myth #2: You will grow the most in your
areas of your greatest weakness
At school, at work, and at home, most of us
learn to concentrate on fixing our weak spots. If you
are disorganized, you better get organized. If you
dislike math, take on a tutor to become a whiz. Guess
what? It's a myth! Here is the truth according to
Marcus Buckingham—you will grow the most in your
areas of greatest strength. Your real potential lies,
not in eradicating your weaknesses, but in mining
and excavating the gold and the silver of your
strengths so that you will be the most inquisitive,
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resilient, creative, and hungry to learn in that area.
And, because few people focus on maximizing their
strengths, instead of minimizing their weaknesses, as
a member of the Strengths Movement, you have the
competitive advantage!
Myth #3: A good team member does
whatever it takes to help the team
Myth. Marcus Buckingham maintains that the
best team members deliberately volunteer their
strengths to the team—most of the time. In other
words, many of us have been taught that you just
“pitch in”—no matter your contribution—because
that's what a good team member does. In the
Buckingham revolution, exemplary team members
volunteer their best strengths because they know
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these strengths will benefit the team. A great team
member is not well-rounded, a great team is well-
rounded because highly successful teams utilize each
person's strengths.
Recommendations for Your Strength Finder Assessment
1. Purchase your copy of the StrengthsFinder 2.0, the
second updated version of Donald Clifton's classic.
Inside the book is your unique code for the online
assessment—this code only applies to one user.
2. Go to StrengthsFinder.com and take the test.
3. Find a quiet, focused place where you will not be
interrupted by phone calls, family members, barking
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dogs, or cats jumping up on your lap because the
assessment is timed and you have twenty seconds for
each question. The assessment aims at capturing
your instinctual, gut response to each question.
4. Answer each question authentically and quickly
instead of angling for certain strengths.
5. When you finish, check your inbox for a PDF
report highlighting your top five strengths. This
twenty four page report will describe each of your
strengths with accompanying case studies and action
strategies, as well as the best ways for others to
interact with you based on your top five strengths.
6. When you read your report, highlight any words or
phrases that resonate with you. Do the same with the
StrengthsFinder 2.0 book. You will find that the
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report's description of each strength differs from the
book's because the report is personalized to your
unique combination of strengths. The book expands
upon the report, with more details on each individual
strength, so be sure to read both.
7. Don't worry—the StrengthsFinder 2.0 is an easy
read, though I encourage you to wait to read the
book until you take the assessment. Once you've
taken the assessment, go ahead and start reading.
8. As the foundation for the StrengthsFinder
Revolution, I encourage you to read the first book,
Now Discover Your Strengths, by Donald Clifton.
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DISCOVERY QUESTIONS
º
1. Which of Buckingham's three myths have you
heard before? Which ones have you repeated to
other people?
2. What are you hoping to achieve by tapping into
your five signature strengths? What dreams
motivate you?
3. What are some of the words/phrases you
highlighted in your report? Which parts grabbed
your attention?
4. Are you surprised by any of your five signature
strengths? What is new about your results? Is there
anything that doesn't surprise you?
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Chapter 2
What is a Strength?
“Success is achieved by developing our strengths, not by
eliminating our weaknesses.” Marilyn vos Savant
I'm a father of two—a daughter and a son—
and it amazes me how, even though they grew up in
the same family environment, their personalities are
so different. Psychologists studying nature versus
nurture say that about fifty percent of our personality
is genetic—what we're born with. The other fifty is
nurture—the environmental influence of the world
around us, as well as the people and caregivers in our
lives. And that's true with strengths, too. There's no
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doubt that, when we are born, we possess a genetic
“code” for certain abilities (whether we like it or not).
Talent, the first of three things that make up a
strength, is in our blood, our brain, our makeup, and
our genes. However, a strength is not limited to
hardwiring. Over time, we acquire knowledge, the
second strength component—information picked up
from our environment and the people in it. As we
acquire information, we utilize it to create skills, the
third strength component.
The Four Levels of Learning
Learning information
Applying information
Teaching information
Relearning information
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I believe there are four levels of learning.
First, we gain information, whereupon we are called
to do something about it—application. After that,
teaching is the next best way to deepen our
understanding of new information. And what's
exciting is that we never really stop learning—there is
always new information to process or knowledge that
we can gain from deepening our understanding of
“old” info. In fact, in order to avoid growing
stagnant, we must continue to seek knowledge, often
through “re-learning” what we thought we already
knew. Skill is the application of knowledge, through
which we develop wisdom—it is the ability to live it
out Skill fuels your performance in a particular
strength area.
Take Individualization, one of the strengths
highlighted in the StrengthsFinder 2.0 assessment.
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Individualization is my #2 strength. According to the
StrengthsFinder 2.0, Individualization is the act of
being intrigued with the unique qualities of people.
It's a relationship strength—the ability to look for
one-of-a-kind stories. A person with
Individualization is a keen observer of people's
strengths. They have the ability to personalize
information or how they work with you. In my case, I
was an only child—no brothers and sisters to play
with—and I had to seek opportunities to connect. So,
I honed my Individualization strength. For the first
part of my life, I grew up in a metropolitan
environment. In our diverse neighborhood, there
were all kinds of people to meet and experiences to
be had—it's where I developed a taste for acquiring
knowledge about different cultures, different
mindsets, and different ways of thinking. Then, I
spent the second part of my adolescence in the
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country, in a small town in East Texas. I went to a
little school called Grand Saline and was able to
experience the unique aspects of life in the country.
When I talk to people, I love to ask
questions—what is your background, what are your
dreams, what are your goals? I love to discover each
person's one-of-a-kind story, as if each individual
narrative were a stained glass picture totally different
from anyone else's. Each of you reading this book has
your own story. Some of you are motivated to apply
this to your work, some of you hope to use this
knowledge to help your children, some of you yearn
to transform your sense of personal satisfaction—I
wrote this book for each of you. For me, with
Individualization in my hardwiring, I am not only
sensitive to peoples' strengths and weaknesses, but
also their emotional ups and downs, their body
language, their moods. I naturally pick up on the
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little things that make up a person's personality.
Many times, when I'm talking, coaching, or even
speaking to a large audience, I have an ability to
personalize whatever I'm sharing with the people in
front of me. How did I grow in my knowledge and
skill? In college, I studied Psychology, Sociology, and
Communications. Then, with my Master's in
Counseling Psychology, I deepened my knowledge
and understanding of people, their personalities, and
how to help people grow, succeed, deal with their
weaknesses, and create more happiness. All the
theories I learned—my classes, my reading, and my
personal experiences—opened up my career to do
counseling as a licensed professional counselor and
later, as a certified life coach.
As I write this, I realize I've been
Individualizing for twenty years—over 27,000
sessions of listening to peoples' one-of-a-kind
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stories. You can't help but acquire skill if you are
applying knowledge for twenty years. Thus, you can
see how a strength like Individualization is
comprised of talent, knowledge, and skill.
DISCOVERY QUESTIONS
º
1. What are a few of your natural talents?
2. What skills do you regularly develop in your life?
3. Name a few topics on which you are
knowledgeable.
The SIGN Method
Think about your strengths. (Even if you
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haven't taken the StrengthsFinder 2.0 assessment,
you still have a general idea of your natural talents.)
In his book, Go Put Your Strengths to Work,
Buckingham suggests exploring one's strengths using
what he calls the SIGN method.
S – Success
Ask yourself these questions:
Have I had a level of success in this activity?
Do people tell me that I'm skilled at this activity?
Have I won any awards for this strength?
I – Instinct
How often do I practice this activity? Every day?
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Do I volunteer for this activity?
Volunteering indicates that a strength is
instinctual. If an activity is part of the natural flow of
your life, there is probably a strength right around
the corner.
G – Growth
Remember, it's a myth to believe that we can
be anything we want to be. But we can be more of
who we already are, and that's what Growth stands
for in SIGN. Growth is the ability to learn something
quickly and easily without struggling or seeing it as a
chore. Take psychology, in my case. I love thinking,
learning new ideas, and understanding people. I am
hungry—I can't wait to learn more about coaching
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and counseling and I don't mind doing it. Thus, I
have incredible potential for growth in this area,
which is a good sign that psychology has something
to do with one of my top five strengths.
N – Needs
We all have needs. Remember Maslow's
hierarchy from Chapter One? A good sign of a
strength in a person's life is that it meets one of their
primary needs. You can look at this in a number of
ways, asking yourself:
Am I excited/eager to do this particular activity?
Do I have fun thinking about/doing this activity?
Does this activity give me a sense of purpose?
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Passion and motivation to do a particular
activity, or simple enjoyment of the activity itself, are
signs that you have likely discovered a strength. The
needs component of Buckingham's Sign Method is
helpful when working with kids, as well as adults in
the work world. Though we tend to put people in
boxes, personalities are round. In order to have a
well-rounded team, family, and community, it is
important to find out what excites each person. If it
jazzes you up, there is a strength lurking nearby.
What is a Weakness?
Most of us are experts in noticing our
weaknesses, not our strengths, which is why it is
crucial to highlight the difference between the two.
Much like with strengths, we have a certain amount
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of talent, knowledge, and skill in our areas of
weakness. For example, being Analytical is not
among my top five strengths. Many times, people
who have the Analytical strength are good with
technology and numbers—my personal weaknesses.
Sure, I have a basic talent for analytics because
research and math were part of my education in
Psychology, but, I struggled with math since grade
school. I didn't want to do division! And, by the time
I ended up trying to learn trig as a senior in high
school, I needed all kinds of tutoring to increase my
knowledge—my ability to understand trigonometry.
Despite all my hard work, I just couldn't get it. It
wasn't instinctual for me and, more than that, it
simply wasn't fun. Therefore, my skills in math and
technology are pretty basic. Thank God for
calculators, CPAs, and people with this strength—like
my dad, a gifted mathematician—because, for me, it's
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a weakness. You can re-use Buckingham's SIGN
technique when determining if something is a
weakness in your life by tweaking the language and
adding the word “lack.”
S – Lack of Success
Ask yourself these questions:
Have I experienced little success in this activity?
Do people tell me I need to improve in this area?
Have I never won any awards for this activity?
Personally, I have always had a lack of success
in math. (You won't catch me winning a math award
anytime soon!) Using SIGN, it is easy to pin math as
a weakness.
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I – Lack of Instinct
Do I try to avoid this particular activity?
Must I force myself to do this activity?
Do I volunteer other people for this activity instead
of myself?
Because talent and instinct are synonymous,
avoiding a particular activity often points to an area
of weakness.
G – Lack of Growth
Is learning about this activity difficult for me?
Do I require extra guidance in order to understand
or master this activity?
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Sure, I learned some math and technology
basics in my years in school, though neither came
naturally to me. (In fact, I find them quite boring.)
Working with numbers or technology for too long
either frustrates me or puts me to sleep. And I'm not
a high performer, either—just another indication of a
weakness. The point is, if there's a lack of growth and
learning—you're not catching on, even with extra
classes and mentoring—this indicates a weakness.
L – Lack of Needs
Do I feel drained by this particular activity?
Do I avoid thinking about this particular activity?
Do I consider this activity unnecessary?
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Over the years I have worked a few odd jobs
and I remember two particular jobs that I absolutely
hated. The first was a position on a ranch. I worked
for a farmer and, one day, he dropped me off all by
myself in the fields to pull potato slips. I had no one
to talk to, no one to do anything with—I just had to
put the potato slips in boxes. Talk about drained! I
cringed at the thought of being on the ranch. The
second was a job I took when I was married with two
kids, looking to make some money to provide for my
family. I became a carpenter's helper and it was
pretty darn funny. I think I worked for the guy no
more than two days before things fell apart. Now, I
can work hard—no problem. But, one particular day,
he asked me to take some measurements for a
project and I looked at him stupidly, like, “How do
you do that?!” I was terrible at it. I didn't like it,
didn't enjoy it, didn't want to learn. Not too long
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after, he said, “Brent, I just don't think you're cut out
to be a carpenter.” He fired me on the spot. It was
the best thing he could do! I didn't need to waste my
time or his—I had identified a weakness. That's not
to say that I haven't learned how to build a few things
between then and now. Believe it or not, I worked
with my wife and father-in-law, who is very
analytical, to build a wood deck and install wood
floors in our house. It is possible to learn how to
buffer your weaknesses, but you cannot turn them
into strengths. So, why waste your time on a
weakness?
DISCOVERY QUESTIONS
º
1. Based on the SIGN acronym, what strengths can
you identify in your life?
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2. Which strength has earned you the most praise?
3. Where do your impulses lie? Of all your strengths,
which do you enjoy practicing the most?
4. Based on the SIGN acronym, what weaknesses
can you identify in your life?
5. Are there topics or activities that, no matter how
much you learn or practice, you cannot seem to
master?
I Feel Strong When...
1. Find a quiet place, clear your mind, and take a
deep breath.
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2. On a piece of paper, write, “I feel strong when…”
3. Finish the sentence with what immediately comes
to mind. Here are a few of my own examples:
I feel strong when speaking to big crowds.
I feel strong when serving to win a match.
I feel strong when I'm sitting with someone and
talking one-on-one, from the heart.
When I did this exercise, I wrote volumes. Then, I
began to apply my realizations to specific areas of my
life. To better understand your strengths, complete
the sentences:
I feel strong at work when...
I feel strong in my marriage when…
I feel strong in my parenting when...
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I feel strong on my team when...
I feel strong spiritually when…
Who is the best judge of your strengths? I'll give you
a hint. It's not your boss. It's not your spouse. It's not
your kids. It's not your parents. It's you. While it is
true that other people have valuable insights on your
strengths, they don't know what's in your mind or
your heart, thus, they aren't privy to all your strength
signals.
4. Now, reverse the exercise and finish the sentence,
“I feel weak when...” Write down whatever comes to
mind—all those different thoughts and ideas that
come to you will help you feel stronger, happier, and
more confident. Then, when you tap into your
strengths you will be more than “jazzed” because you
will be opening your mind to the parts of yourself
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you never knew you had. Allow me to give you a few
examples from my own life:
I feel weak when I'm doing math.
I feel weak when I'm in front of a computer.
I feel weak when giving a canned speech.
5. Now finish the sentence, “I loathed it when...” and
remember to write down whatever comes to your
mind. I promise, if you allow yourself to answer
honestly, you will see incredible results. Buckingham
has changed millions of people's lives as a result of
his book, Go Put Your Strengths to Work, where this
exercise originated.
Tennis Lessons
I am a long time tennis player. I started
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playing when I was fourteen years old and, thirty
four years later, at the age of forty eight, I'm still
playing. I found out that I had a natural talent for the
sport—a mind and body that excels at tennis—at a
young age. I was quick, I had fat hands, and I was
focused enough to keep my eye on the ball. Plus, I
liked the independence and freedom I felt while
playing tennis and, over the years, I have developed
my tennis knowledge with coaches, camps, and
tournaments. As a result, I became a skillful tennis
player. Within two years of aiming to leap from the
bottom rung of the tennis ladder, I won the Texas
state doubles championship. That was the first
experience in my life where I felt like a winner. It was
a momentous success but it was also the product of
hard work and quite a few losses, all the while
learning and practicing for hours. In the
summertime, I spent nine hours a day hitting balls
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on a ball machine while my friends were swimming
and having a good time in the pool next to the tennis
courts. I was there by myself, but I was determined,
and I felt strong. So, I set goals that tennis would pay
my way through college and—it did! (Though, my
mom and dad paid for the coaching lessons and took
me to tournaments, so I credit their support as
having paid for my college education.) Tennis has
been an incredible gift of pleasure and exercise for
thirty four years of my life. I'm on a tennis team, I
still compete in tournaments, and my son and I play
father/son doubles—in fact, we were the #1
father/son doubles team in Texas two years in a row.
What's the point? I feel strong when I'm playing
tennis. And you probably have something in your life
like that. It may not be a sport. It could be music, art,
technology—something that makes you feel strong.
Identifying what makes you feel strong is vital to
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your success. On the other hand, I feel very weak
when it comes to technology. I feel literally weak
playing computer games or video games while my
wife is wonderful—she'll tell you that she's the
world's greatest “Words With Friends” player (I'm
sure she'd gladly challenge you to a game any day)
and she challenges me to play all the time. I say,
“Honey, I don't want to play because I don't want to
hurt your feelings when I beat you.” Yeah, right. The
truth is, I don't want to sit in front of the computer
screen playing a video game because it drains me. It's
a weakness—I'm not successful at it. My son used to
beat me all the time when we would play video
games. I would play and he would pound me—every
time! So, of course, you're not likely to walk into my
house and see me with a controller in my hand. I'm
terrible. I suck! We all have something in our lives
that is a weakness. Sure, I could go get lessons, read
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books, learn how to try to beat my son. But I don't
want to. So I don't! Simple as that.
Let me tell you something that will set you
free—it's okay. Let it go. Let your weaknesses go.
Turn the best of your life into the most of your life.
That's what discovering your strengths is all about.
Instead of trying to whittle down your weak spots,
strengths-based living is about focusing on your
talents and designing your life accordingly—
structuring your relationships with your kids, your
spouse, your friends, and your extended family
around your strengths and planning your free time
around personally enjoying your strengths, too. It's
the most exciting, meaningful, purposeful thing that
any of us can do—to discover and live in our
strengths zone.
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Chapter 3
Creating Momentum
“Enthusiasm is the energy and force that builds literal
momentum of the human soul and mind.”
Bryant H. McGill
How do we free our strengths and stop our
weaknesses? Marcus Buckingham addresses this in
Go Put Your Strengths to Work and suggests two
acronyms that will quickly help you generate success
and minimize distractions—FREE and STOP.
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F – Focus
Ask yourself these questions about each of your
strengths:
How does this strength help me and others?
When do I use this strength at work?
How often do I use this strength?
What daily activities allow me to use this strength?
Am I using this strength as much as I would like?
Have I received feedback on this strength?
R – Release
Releasing is about freeing a strength in areas
where it is not being used. To release a strength, ask
yourself:
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What new situations can I put myself in to use my
strength more often?
Can I change my work schedule to use my strength
more? (Or, could I talk to a supervisor or my
colleagues to utilize my strength more at work?)
How can I track how much I'm using my strength?
E – Educate
Remember, a strength is an area where you
have the greatest potential to learn and to grow.
Learning new skills and techniques will help you free
your strength. Ask yourself:
Are there certain skills—communication skills,
presentation skills, negotiation skills—that I could
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improve through learning?
What kinds of actions should I take to learn more
about my particular strength?
Are there classes or courses I could take to enhance
my knowledge in this area?
Do I know someone with the same strength?
The educate part of the acronym is about
finding opportunities to learn and teach yourself,
building your catalog of techniques for expressing
your strengths. When talking to others with similar
strengths, discuss what they did to educate
themselves, acquire more knowledge, and develop
skills. Speaking with a mentor or coach is a fantastic
way to educate yourself about your particular
strength.
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E – Expand
Expanding is about building your life around
your strengths. I created a success script for myself—
a narrative with names and affirmations for my top
five strengths. I wrote this narrative to help me
accomplish goals in every area of my life. The
question to ask yourself when writing a narrative of
your own is, “How can I expand my life around my
strengths?”
DISCOVERY QUESTIONS
º
1. What new situation can I put myself in—this
week—to release an underused strength?
2. How can I track my strength over the next ten
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minutes? The next hour? Day? Week? Month?
3. Do any of my strengths have “weak” points that I
can develop with education?
Stop Your Weaknesses
Many times, people tell me, “I have so many
weaknesses that I can't see my strengths,” and
they're not alone. We all have weaknesses. We're not
perfect. We don't have every tool in the toolbox. So,
how do we deal with our weaknesses? How do we
stop wasting our time on our weak areas? With the
acronym STOP.
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S – Stop
Quit doing this activity. Sure, there are some
activities where we have weaknesses that we still
must accomplish. In my case, one weakness I have is
balancing the checkbook. My partner is great at
balancing the checkbook, making it easy to negotiate,
asking her, “Would you be willing to balance the
checkbook?”
The S in STOP is about looking for ways to
stop doing activities associated with your weakness.
At work, you can ask your supervisor about areas in
which you are weak that can be taken out of your job
description. Of course, it's a bit easier when you work
for yourself or run your own business. But, even big
business is turning towards strengths psychology. If
you feel locked into certain activities that are holding
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you back, remember—it doesn't hurt to ask.
Or, consider looking for alternative ways to
stop doing a particular activity. For example, I hate
trimming weeds. It zaps me—I loathe starting and
stopping and pulling out the line. So, I stopped it. I
don't work on the weeds anymore. Instead, I've hired
someone else do my lawn maintenance for me every
two weeks. I am going to challenge you to find a
weakness in your life that you are putting pressure
on yourself to focus on and free yourself from it. Stop
spending time on that weakness!
T – Team Up
Ask yourself:
Who could I partner with that has this strength?
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Who on my work team would be willing to utilize
their strength to help stop my weakness?
Who could teach me how to deal with my particular
weakness?
O – Offer Up a Strength
In other words, volunteer and steer your life
towards your strengths. Ask yourself:
Which of my strengths could I use to get activities
done more easily?
How can I use my strengths to create a new role for
myself at work or my volunteer organization?
How can I offer up my strengths at home or in my
personal relationships?
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Offering up your strengths will steer you away from
your weaknesses.
P – Perceive
Tackle your weakness with your strengths by
shifting your perspective. I have one particular client
who doesn't have great relationship skills and it is
difficult for him to communicate with his wife.
However, he is a Learner—he loves to educate
himself. So, I challenged him, “How could you use
your Learner strength to acquire more social skills
like empathy—to learn how to relate to your spouse?”
The light bulb went off in his head: “It's about
turning on a strength in an area where I'm weak so I
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can learn.” hat about you? How can you shift your
perspective and use your strengths to tackle your
weaknesses? For example, those with the strength of
Harmony love to keep the peace and are always
looking for opportunities to diffuse conflict because
it is difficult and uncomfortable for them. I
encourage those with the Harmony strength to look
for other strengths that can help them cope with
conflict, like the Communication strength. The key is
to perceive your “old” strengths in new ways! I was
doing marriage counseling with a couple and the wife
had the strength of Individualization—the ability to
listen to other people, understand their one-of-a-
kind stories, and adapt the way you relate to them
based on their unique qualities. My client was a
fantastic nurse because of her Individualization
strength, but felt baffled by how she couldn't' seem to
figure out how to relate to her husband. I challenged
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her, “How can you use your Individualization
strength to deal with the lack of connection you feel
with your husband?” I could see the light bulbs going
off in her head. Suddenly, she realized that she could
use her ability to relate and get along with extremely
difficult patients in difficult situations with her
husband.
Nine Steps to Strengthen Your Strengths
1. Write It Down
On a piece of paper, write down your strength
and its order in your top five as well as the basic
definition of the strength from the StrengthFinder
2.0 or your personalized report. Allow me to share
my #4 strength—Command. The definition of
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Command is the ability to take charge.
2. Highlight What Resonates
Read the chapter in the StrengthsFinder 2.0
on your strength. Underline or highlight the three
most important phrases that help you connect to this
strength—the three words, phrases, or sentences that
resonate with you. (The parts when you say, “That's
me, that's me! Yes!”) When I read the chapter on
Command, I had a pen in my hand, ready to mark
the phrases I most associated with myself.
Break bottlenecks and create momentum.
Yup. When there's a bottleneck in a relationship or a
tense meeting, I can always help break it. I have the
ability to take charge and create momentum.
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Defend the cause in the face of resistance.
I like to take up for the underdog. When someone is
putting others down, I tend to speak up, even if there
is resistance.
Confrontation is the first step to resolution.
I'm not afraid of confrontation—I see it as an
inevitable part of life. And I also know that dealing
with conflict is the first step to finding solutions,
resolution, and connection.
3. Go Back to Your Roots
Ask yourself, “How did I develop my
knowledge and skills related to this strength?” Go
back to your childhood—elementary school, junior
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high, high school. What were the experiences in your
life that caused you to develop this strength? How
did you start gaining more knowledge and
information about this strength?
In my own life, I was a natural risk taker from
the day I was born. If there was a rope hanging off a
tree over a lake and my friends dared me to take a
swinging leap, I would do it. I was the daredevil who
would take charge and be the first one to do
something, even if others were afraid to do it. I also
remember playing football in elementary school and
junior high. I was middle linebacker and I was the
person who loved to tackle and hit hard. My
nickname was “Headhunter” because I loved to find
somebody in my way and hit the heck out of them—
that's what football is about. Even on the pee wee
football team, I demonstrated the take
charge/captain strength. And when people in school
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were bullied, I was there to defend them, either
verbally or physically. I was willing to stand up to the
bully and say, “This isn't fair, dude. You can't pick on
this guy like this.” I was the defender, which carried
over into my days as a youth pastor and a senior
pastor of two different churches. (Spirituality and
Faith is my first strength on the VIA survey.) I have
always seen myself as a defender of the church.
When people told me, “I don't believe in that” or
“That sounds kind of silly/strange,” I speak up for
God! When going back to your roots, don't forget to
ask this question:
What people have had the greatest impact on my
life? A parent, a teacher, a friend, a coach?
I've traced the Command strength all the way
through my family tree. Lieutenant Presley
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O'Bannon, my great great great grandfather, was
called the Valiant Virginian and there's even a book
written about his feats. As captain, he was the first
marine on the shores of Tripoli. He organized a crew
that went to Africa, marched across the desert,
overcame the enemy, freed the slaves and hostages,
and brought everyone back home. He was awarded
the Mameluke sword, deemed the O'Bannon sword.
Sure enough, Command is in my blood. Lieutenant
Presley O'Bannon was a courageous fighter and
defender, who later used his “take charge” strength
to help lead a state. I've got some pretty big shoes to
fill! Now it's your turn. Go back into your life and
start exploring. Look at it as a fun journey of learning
how you developed each of your strengths.
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4. Connect With Others
Ask yourself, “How does this strength help me
and other people?” In my life, the Command strength
helps me to face and resolve conflicts. When I have
conflicts with my wife, my family, my friends, or even
a client or customer, this strength gives me the
ability to resolve conflicts instead of avoiding them,
stuffing them, or letting them turn into resentment.
I'm not a resentful person because I deal with
conflicts upfront. The Command strength also helps
me to ask the questions that no one else is brave
enough to ask. My clients commonly say, “Wow,
that's a great question—I never thought about it like
that.” People with the Command strength can
verbalize a sensitive question, instead of only
thinking about it. Additionally, the Command
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strength helps me to speak in front of people. People
with Command have a charismatic, “take charge”
presence. I come alive in front of large groups. That's
the strength of Command. And, in my line of work, it
helps to have a charismatic presence that rallies and
inspires people.
5. Play Devil's Advocate
Ask yourself, “If I were to overuse this
strength, how would it hurt me or the progress of
other people?” It didn't take long for me to realize
that people with the Command strength can
frequently insert their feet in their mouths. I can't
even count the times in my life when I have said
something and my wife—or whoever was in my
presence—has looked at me and said, “Really?!? You
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just said that?” They are embarrassed and I am
embarrassed—a great lesson teaching me to be
careful with my tongue. Because of my propensity to
tell it like it is, sometimes I hurt peoples' feelings. If I
overuse my strength, I come across as pushy and
intimidating. And, as a Commander, I often have
daring ideas that, in a group setting, are not always
appreciated. Perhaps, in a one-on-one situation with
more trust and confidentiality, the idea might be
better received. But, I have to be careful in group
settings not to overpower or intimidate other people.
I must humble myself and admit my weaknesses
instead of coming across like God's gift to the
universe. I have my own struggles, my own trials, my
own challenges, just like any other human being.
And this is one of them—tempering my Command
strength so I am not pushy or intimidating.
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6. Check Your Speed
Envision the speedometer on your car. How
many MPH are you using your strength? 0-40 is
low—you are barely using this strength. 80-120 is
high—you may be using this strength too much.
(That's what gets you pulled over and given a ticket.
Watch out for fines and other problems.) The
optimum speed for using your strength is somewhere
between 40 and 80 miles per hour. Sometimes we
need to speed up our strength and, other times we
need take our foot off the pedal because we're driving
too fast. It's all about balance.
7. Take Action
Figure out the action steps you need to take to
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better utilize your strength. Look to your
StrengthsFinder 2.0 report for ten different ideas for
putting your strength into practice. When I took the
assessment, I discovered that one suggested action
for people with the Command strength is to step up
and break bottlenecks. Another of my action items is
to take charge in a crisis when people look to strong
leadership for help—one of my fortes. Another action
item for Commanders is to lead a committee. As I
write this, I am the the president of my local
Business Network International group, and I
facilitate the meeting, which is a gift.
By the way, recognizing strengths doesn't
automatically make you cocky. It produces
confidence—the ability to recognize your strengths
and weaknesses. Confidence is not synonymous with
flaunting your strengths or hurting other people with
them—that is cocky.) The two main ways I have put
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my Command strengths into action are:
Dealing with conflict and seizing opportunities to
speak plainly and directly about sensitive subjects
8. Make a Motto
Write a motto, a word, a phrase, that helps
you remember what this strength represents to you. I
have several mottos for the Command strength. I call
it the “Fighting Irish” because I'm an Irishman and
was born on St. Patrick's Day. I also call it
“Braveheart,” “Dynamo,” and “Take Charge.” One of
my favorite passages of scripture from the Bible is
Proverbs 28:1—“the righteous are as bold as a lion.”
To me, this scripture encapsulates the Command
strength. Being bold as a lion
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9. Affirm It
Create a strength affirmation. My daily
affirmation—the one I have recorded on my iPhone,
despite my dislike for technology—is, “I am breaking
bottlenecks and creating momentum with my
Command strength.” Affirmations help us change the
unconscious aspects of our lives. Our subconscious is
like an iceberg. Eighty five to ninety percent of an
iceberg is below the surface. Only ten to fifteen
percent is above the surface—our conscious self. Our
conscious self can write down goals, focus on
activities, and accomplish objectives—it is the part of
ourselves that we can easily modify or change. The
part that most of don't work on/change is the
unconscious—the dominant part of our thoughts,
feelings, and actions.
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The Six P's of Strengths Affirmations
Daily affirmations are powerful tools for
changing the subconscious—the part of ourselves
that goes deeper than the surface. When writing your
strengths affirmations, remember the six P's:
Personal � Present Tense � Positive
Precise � Purposeful � Passionate
First, your affirmation needs to be personal.
Start with your name or “I am...” Second, keep your
affirmation in the present tense, instead of using
words like “maybe,” “someday,” or “might happen.”
Your affirmation is already happening. Next, stay
positive and focus on what you want instead of what
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you don't want. For example, if you want to stay fit
during the holidays, don't write an affirmation
focused on not gaining those twenty pounds over
Christmas. Stay positive: “I am my ideal weight at
Christmas.”
Along with positivity, you want to be precise.
Keep your affirmation short and sweet. Make it a
quick sentence that is easy to remember while also
keeping it it purposeful. Include an “ing” like “I am
breaking bottlenecks and creating momentum with
my Command strength.” Finally, you want it to be
passionate. Include a word that resonates with you.
For me, those words are momentum, creating, and
breaking. I like breaking bottlenecks.
Break it up. Let's create momentum. Let's go.
Let me tell you about one of my clients, a
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teenager with very little confidence and a big love for
ice skating. Her goal was to skate with Disney on Ice,
so I helped her to create an affirmation: “I am
skating with Disney on Ice.” Every time she said that
affirmation, she worked on shifting her mindset and
making her words a reality. Miraculously, she only
had to say her affirmation for one week before
attending a Disney on Ice program in Dallas and
receiving a personal invitation from the professionals
skaters to get out on the ice and skate with them. As I
write this, she is getting ready to join them—now her
teammates—on tour! After a week of saying her
affirmation! And that's what I'm asking you to do.
For each of your strengths, write an affirmation.
Here are the affirmations I wrote for my top five
strengths:
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Focus
Brent is flowing in strong Focus and is naturally keeping
his eye on living God's purpose.
Individualization
Brent is easily engaging, empathizing, connecting, and
relating to people with his Individualization strength.
Achieving
Brent is Achieving big dreams with outrageous success.
Command
Brent is a highly paid, well respected, in demand speaker
for his Command strength.
Competition
Brent is enjoying his Competition strength, exercising
daily, and doing yoga weekly with wife Rhonda.
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Now try it yourself! Start creating a life of
momentum.
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Chapter 4
Starting Your Journey
“Our inner strengths cannot be lost, destroyed, or taken
away. Each person has an inborn worth and
contribution to the human community.”
Mark Twain
Imagine dog sledding in Canada for the very
first time. You're holding onto the back of your sled
for dear life as you whip around steep curves at
lightning speed. Up ahead of you is a sharp turn and
you notice that your sled is teetering on the edge of
the mountain. You are riding the thin line between
falling off the mountain and creating momentum
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behind your dogs. This was my wife and my
experience when we went to Canmore, Canada a few
years ago. We had a dog sledding adventure—a first
for both of us. (I highly recommend it as a couples or
family experience.) Dog sledding in Canada taught us
so many things about leadership, teamwork, and
strengths. On our trip, we met a young man named
Jereme, who I call “the dog whisperer” because of his
expert knowledge of his dogs and how to
communicate with them. He was our guide and he
took the time to teach my wife and I all about his
team.
Lead Dogs
“Follow me, Brent.” He said commandingly
and Rhonda and I did just that as Jereme led us to
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meet the first two dogs on the team. “These are my
lead dogs,” he explained to us, “Lead dogs are not
necessarily the smartest, and they're not necessarily
the fastest, but they're the best listeners, and they
follow commands well.” Jereme emphasized that it
was important to know your lead dogs so you could
communicate with them frequently. After all, they
are the leaders of their team. The other dogs respect
them and follow them because of their leadership
strength.
Point Dogs
Jereme pointed to the next two dogs directly
behind the lead dogs. “These are the point dogs. The
point dogs are the dogs that don't have quite the
experience they need, but they have skills and the
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talents, and are in line behind the lead dogs. They
help steer the direction of the team towards the lead
dogs.” Basically, point dogs have the abilities, but
they don't quite have the respect of the team just yet.
Eventually, as Jereme told us, the point dogs will
succeed the lead dogs.
Swing Dogs
“It's very interesting,” Jereme said about the
next two dogs. “You take an old dog and a young dog,
pair them together, and you have swing dogs.” The
older dogs have been around the mountains for
many years, trekked endless trails, and accrued their
share of bumps and bruises along the way. Of course,
they have lost a bit of their zest, their energy, their
pep. But then you pair this older dog with a younger
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dog who has loads of enthusiasm, energy, and ability
but lacks experience and wisdom and they influence
and bring out the best in each other so that the team
accomplishes its goal.
Wheel Dogs
“These are the biggest dogs,” Jereme pointed,
“and they're called wheel dogs.” The wheels dogs are
drama-free. Easily the strongest dogs on the team,
they love to pull, they love to work, and they love to
do their job.
The Driver
Then, Jereme took us to the sled. “This where
the driver stands.” He pointed. The driver, we
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learned, is like the CEO, the chief executive officer.
He or she drives the operation from the back of the
sled.
The Four Domains of Leadership
During our dog sledding adventure with
Jereme, I couldn't help but think about the four
domains of leadership, each containing a sampling of
the thirty four strengths as determined by Gallup
Polls. Lead dogs in dog sledding are not so different
from what Gallup calls executing leaders. Point dogs,
like those of us in positions of strategic leadership,
are the thinkers, the heady intellectuals who tend to
strategize and point us towards the future while the
swing dogs fall into influencing domain. These are
the leaders who use their strengths to influence and
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sell. The wheel dogs have relationship strengths.
They are the people adept at winning others over,
relating with others, and showing empathy and love.
THE LEAD DOG
º
Take a look at the dog in the picture. What do you
notice about him? I see the focus in his eyes, the
alertness in the ears, the confidence in his face. This
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dog is all about business. He might even be a little
intimidating. Indeed, the lead dog on my team in
Canada looked pretty ferocious—a good word to
describe executing strengths. Those with executing
strengths catch ideas and make them happen. These
people are strong at getting the job done and less
concerned with pleasing or getting along with people.
Remember, any strength, if overused, can hinder
your success. The nine executing strengths are:
Achiever
Arranger
Belief
Consistency
Deliberative
Focus
Responsibility
Restorative
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The Nine Executing Strengths
Achiever
The Gallup Poll shares that any person who
has the Achiever strength is driven for achievement.
When an Achiever wakes up in the morning, they
start at zero, and it's as if they try to accrue as many
points throughout the day as they can. Achievers are
early risers and night owls. They have a divine
restlessness that pushes them to improve anything
they put their hands on. They like to be busy. They
like to be moving. They like to have projects. Every
day is about climbing a mountain and getting to the
next great peak. (But, Achievers also suffer a whisper
of discontent. They're always on the hunt for the next
big thing.) Achievers have an incredible stamina to
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work hard. This stamina is not limited to work, it
extends to weekends and vacations, as well. Not
surprisingly, Achievers love certifications. They love
to know that they have finished something, achieved
something, and as soon as they finish one thing, they
are onto the next. They love new initiatives. They
love new projects. One thing Achievers must be wary
of is not working so hard that they forget to celebrate
their successes or to balance their personal and
professional lives. Also, Achievers must watch out for
skimping on quality and consistency as they race to
the next project. Achievers want to win. They fuel
success. But they also should take care to apply this
strength to their personal lives, not only their
careers. I have the Achiever strength and, one way in
which I have applied this strength to my personal life
is in my marriage. In my family, literally everyone is
divorced. I grew up dreaming that I would be the
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first person to have a happy, long-term, consummate
marriage. The Achiever strength helps me do that.
Achievers must remember to utilize this strength,
not only in their professional lives, but in
relationships with their spouse and kids, as well as
with their health and personal development.
REVIEWING THE ACHIEVER STRENGTH
º
DRIVEN TO ACHIEVE
DIVINE RESTLESSNESS
STAMINA TO WORK HARDER
LIKES CERTIFICATIONS
INSPIRED BY NEW PROJECTS
FOCUSED ON QUALITY
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Arranger
The Arranger is like the conductor of a
symphony. They can manage and organize all of the
people and variables in a project. They are flexible
and, many times, make great multi-taskers.
Arrangers can look at a complex situation, a complex
problem, or a complex team and arrange it—find the
perfect configuration—which makes them great
leaders. Many NFL coaches have the Arranger
talent—the ability to create a winning team and
coaching staff. If you are looking for someone to
organize and develop a team, an Arranger is just the
person to do it. And Arrangers love big events, too.
They can easily and efficiently organize meetings,
conferences, or, on the personal side, their spouse's
fortieth birthday party. The Arranger will invite
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everyone, cater the meal, and make sure that each
guest has a role in the party. Arrangers have the
unique ability to use all kinds of resources at once.
Arrangers struggle with a difficulty in
communicating why they have chosen a particular
configuration. They work well when they partner
with someone who can help them communicate ideas
and explain decisions. Arrangers thrive with
deadlines—they need them to stay on track. As a
benefit to others, timelines assure that the Arranger
will not become overwhelmed by details. Arrangers
are not big fans of routine—they like the excitement
of complex projects, so they often overlook activities
that are simple or routine. Because this can be a
hindrance, Arrangers should work to balance their
strengths, perhaps with a strength partner.
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REVIEWING THE ARRANGER STRENGTH
º
CONDUCTOR OF A SYMPHONY
MANAGER OF ALL VARIABLES
EFFECTIVE FLEXIBILITY
SEEKING THE PERFECT CONFIGURATION
BIG EVENT ORGANIZER
RESOURCEFUL
BORED WITH ROUTINE
Belief
People who have the strength of Belief possess
strong core values and are often considered
“traditional.” Those with the Belief strength can be
very spiritual or religious, family-oriented, and
typically have a strong sense of ethics and integrity
with characteristics of dependability and
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trustworthiness.
In my coaching experience, people with Belief
tend to come from a spiritual background, and those
principles, ethics, and strategies are woven into their
daily lives. This is not to say that people with the
Belief strength are automatically spiritual. For
example, people with a background in Boy or Girl
Scouts have been taught the importance of integrity
and the traditional values of being on time and
prepared. People with Belief often feel that their
work must be in line with their core values and
beliefs. If you try to put a person with the Belief
strength into a work environment and their core
values do not match that of the company, you have a
disaster waiting to happen. On the other hand,
people with the strength of Belief can help other
people on the team to find more meaning in their
work. Believers are strong at helping others touch
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with their values and the importance of making a
difference in the work world.
People with Belief benefit from having their
own life purpose statement. A purpose statement
helps people with Belief navigate their world and
stay on course—like a compass. A purpose statement
also helps other team members understand their
leader's belief system. It's important to realize that
people with Belief are not typically motivated by
money or prestige—they are motivated by making a
difference in the world. They are motivated by the
core values that steer their lives, whether it is
working with breast cancer, going green, or
participating at their church, temple, or mosque.
However, those with the Belief strength are not
always verbal about their beliefs. This depends on
their other strengths. If they are an Influencer, they
may enjoy sharing and communicating their values.
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However, some Believers are very private and
oftentimes, learning how to communicate and share
one's voice without being judgmental is an important
component of developing this strength. People with
Belief may appear to be rigid or intolerant of other
people who have different belief systems. Thus,
individuals with the Belief strength should watch out
for appearing critical or judgmental of people with
different values.
REVIEWING THE BELIEF STRENGTH
º
STRONG CORE VALUES
FAMILY-ORIENTED
SPIRITUAL/HIGH ETHICS
DEPENDABLE/TRUSTWORTHY
NOT FOCUSED ON PRESTIGE
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Consistency
A person with the strength of Consistency
believes life balance is a must. Beyond that, people
with Consistency treat others equally—they do not
recognize Prima Donnas or the idea that one person
is better than anyone else. Individuals with the
strength of Consistency feel that all people deserve
respect and should play by the same rules, which
means they usually root for the underdog. Those
with Consistency want to ensure that everyone on the
team follows a clear set of guidelines. They want
credit given where it's due. A person with
Consistency is great at recognizing other people's
strengths, celebrating them, and helping build self-
esteem and self-confidence. They thrive at building
team spirit and rallying a group together—an
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important strength to harness at home or in the
workplace. People with Consistency are strong at
leveling the playing field and ensuring that no one
person is treated better than another.
But Consistent individuals must be willing to
temper this strength and understand that there is a
time and a place for individuality. If you overuse
Consistency, you may ignore the needs or differences
of individuals. Leaders with Consistency should keep
in mind that different people's approaches to a
project may vary. Those with Consistency must learn
how to appreciate each person's unique style and
focus on whether the job gets done, not how it is
done. (On the other hand, people with Consistency
excel at ensuring that organizations follow
compliance rules—a task preferred by few.) In a large
family, a matriarch with Consistency may not have a
special, unique relationship with each individual
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because of her group-focused mindset. She focuses
on making sure that all the kids in the nest are fed
and clothed the same—she narrows in on
consistency.
REVIEWING THE CONSISTENCY STRENGTH
º
VALUES BALANCE
TREATS OTHERS WITH EQUITY
EMPHASIZES CLEAR GUIDELINES
ROOTS FOR THE UNDERDOG
ALWAYS GIVES DUE CREDIT
LEVELS THE PLAYING FIELD
STREAMLINES PERFORMANCE
MONITORS INTERNAL AFFAIRS
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Deliberative
Individuals with the Deliberative strength can
appear cautious and careful about decisions and, in
relationships, they may be private and reserved with
their emotions. Deliberative individuals do not often
give praise. Instead, Deliberators are focused on
potential risks, problems, and dangers in
relationships, at work, and in the world. It's the
Deliberator's job to find the mines—they thrive at
decreasing risks that may harm the workplace or
other people. People with the Deliberative strength
are very practical in nature and do not think in terms
of abstracts, but in concrete, practical terms.
Deliberative people are intuitive—their brains pick
up all the small details around them and, based on
this data, they intuitively avoid danger. Because they
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like to think twice about decisions and double check
that people have followed through, Deliberators have
a tendency, if they overuse their strength, to micro-
manage. And, because they are strong decision
makers, Deliberative people may be seen as
naysayers. It's important to keep in mind that
Deliberators are not negative for the sake of being
negative. When a Deliberator perceives danger, they
try to warn the group and encourage others to make
wise decisions. Individuals with the Deliberative
strength help us avoid the mine fields that could
potentially sabotage success and slow us down in
relationships.
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REVIEWING THE DELIBERATIVE STRENGTH
º
CAREFUL/CAUTIOUS
PRIVATE/RESERVED
VIEWS LIFE AS A MINEFIELD
LOOKS TO DECREASE RISK
RIGOROUS THINKER
INTUITIVE
PRACTICAL
Discipline
People with the Discipline strength love
structure and order. Disciplined individuals prefer to
have a plan and they enjoy executing precise
strategies. Individuals with the strength of Discipline
also tend to desire control. Disciplined people
frequently look to control their environment, events
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and activities, and relationships, which can be a
hindrance in their pursuit of success. Part of the
need for order, control, structure, and precision is
because Disciplined people have a great need for
productivity. Their need to maximize production
makes them big fans of “To Do” lists at work and
home. Disciplined people create systems for how
they organize and file things. They are incredibly
efficient. Individuals with the Discipline strength
must be careful not to miss moments of spontaneity.
As counterintuitive as it seems, Disciplined people
benefit from learning how to “structure” spontaneity
into their lives—moments to do nothing, smell the
roses, and simply enjoy life.
Disciplined people struggle with mistakes and
they can be harsh or demanding with themselves and
others, too. My son, a tennis player with the strength
of Discipline, says, “Pain facilitates change.”
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Disciplined people possess the mentality that pain
creates success. Yet, change can be painful for
individuals with the strength of Discipline. Those
with the Discipline strength need advance notice of
adjustments because their lives are so structured,
both personally and professionally. A last minute
change can be difficult and stressful for the
Disciplined person. They feel that, in order to be
successful, they have to follow a routine and make a
habit of order in every aspect of their lives. Order
comes naturally for Disciplined individuals, which
can be a helpful strength in a team member.
REVIEWING THE DISCIPLINE STRENGTH
º
VALUES STRUCTURE AND ORDER
PRECISION PLANNER
FEELS THE NEED FOR CONTROL
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SCHEDULES ENTIRE LIFE
CREATES SYSTEMS
Focus
Focus is my #1 strength. I believe I was born
with Focus and I cultivated this strength when I
started playing tennis. (I've been playing tennis for
thirty four years!) I remember one of the first
phrases I was taught as a tennis player: “Keep your
eye on the ball.” That's exactly what a person with
Focus does—Focused individuals have the ability to
concentrate on their target and ask themselves each
day, “Where am I headed? Where am I going? What
is my priority? What is my goal?”
Focused individuals also have the ability to
filter out extraneous distractions, which is helpful
when they are setting goals for themselves or others.
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It's one of the things I enjoy most as a life and
business coach—helping people set goals, not only
for their careers or businesses, but for their
marriages, their relationships, and their lifestyles.
People with Focus like to review their goals. They
enjoy writing purpose statements. Goal-oriented
people benefit from reviewing their goals daily in
order to finish what they start. For example, Focused
people are usually quite adept at summarizing a
meeting when ten different people have shared their
thoughts. At the end of the meeting, they can quickly
and succinctly wrap up what the meeting was all
about, as well as assessing appropriates timelines or
deadlines.
People with Focus like to prioritize before they
act. And, while they appear to procrastinate, they
tend to do what I call incubating. Incubating means
sorting through different information and letting it
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simmer and cook before acting. And people with
Focus are very skilled at staying on track with their
strengths and helping other people to stay on track,
too. If a person overuses their Focus, which I have
been known to do, they can get tunnel vision. Early
on in my marriage, my wife and I would go to my in-
laws' and while I was reading a book on some topic
that I was focused on learning, they would often
complain, “Brent, you always have your nose in a
book!” I had tunnel vision—I was so focused on my
goal that I had to learn how to focus on my
relationships, my family, and my other priorities.
Balance is important. People with Focus may
emphasize their career goals and forget to pay
attention to their relationships with their kids or
their spouse. Focused individuals must beware of
tunnel vision.
When interacting with a Focused person, keep
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in mind that they may come across as unsentimental
or unemotional because they are so tenacious and
focused on their goals that they forget others'
feelings. This is not because they want to hurt others,
but because the Focus strength makes them zero in
on a different goal.
REVIEWING THE FOCUS STRENGTH
º
INTENSE CONCENTRATION
HELPS OTHERS SET GOALS
PRIORITIZES THEN ACTS
STAYS ON TASK
UNSENTIMENTAL
SUMMARIZES MEETINGS
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Responsibility
Janelle2
is a Realtor, a broker, and one of my
coaching clients. She owns her own company and has
several other Realtors who work for her. Oh, and
Janelle just had an $8 million dollar year! I believe
that Janelle's ability to be so successful in the midst
of a struggling economy comes from her strength of
responsibility—the ability to take psychological
ownership, not only in her work, but in her personal
life. Janelle's inner monologue is, “I need to be the
rock, I need to be dependable, I need to get it done.”
People with Responsibility are very conscientious of
details, whether it's completing complicated
paperwork or noticing body language. Responsible
2 Janelle graciously gave me permission use her story in this book.
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individuals are also highly ethical and committed to
following the rules, not bucking the system.
If a Responsible person drops the ball, forgets
something, or makes a mistake, they will go out of
their way to make it right. The danger in overusing
the Responsibility strength is feeling guilt over not
doing enough. People with the Responsibility
strength are chronic volunteers. They struggle to say
no—they feel compelled to volunteer and be
responsible for the sake of the team or someone
important to them. Thus, people with Responsibility
must learn how to balance “yes” and “no.”
Responsible individuals should gravitate towards
areas where they can apply their other strengths,
instead of saying “yes” to everything. Those with
Responsibility should volunteer in their specialty,
their niche—excelling and becoming an expert, not
watering down their strengths by doing too much for
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too many people. Responsible individuals risk
overloading themselves or feeling burned out if they
are not able to balance “yes” and “no” and allow
other people to take responsibility for their own
mistakes and shortcomings. Research shows that
Responsibility is the first of two strengths that
managers love in their employees. And wouldn't you
love to have a spouse that has the strength of
Responsibility? All the bills get paid on time, all the
details get done. People with the strength of
Responsibility excel in their businesses and
relationships and prove themselves to be
dependable.
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REVIEWING THE RESPONSIBILITY STRENGTH
º
PSYCHOLOGICAL OWNERSHIP
DEPENDABLE
CONSCIENTIOUS
HIGH ETHICS
SEEKS JUSTICE FOR OTHERS
SKILLED MANAGERS
Restorative
People with the Restorative strength love to
solve problems. They love to fix things. Restorers are
energized, not defeated, by problems, and they love
to find something that is broken, like a car, and
restore it to its original, pristine condition.
Restorative individuals can also take a conceptual
problem—a malfunction in a computer or software
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system, for example—and break that problem down
until they find a solution. People with the Restorative
strength also love to fix personal problems. They
gravitate towards situations where they can
restore/bring a person “back to life.” It's important
for the person with the Restorative strength to limit
the problems they fix, choosing the types of problems
they become experts in, rather than trying to solve all
of the world's practical, conceptual, and personal
problems.
An entrepreneur I coached had a marketing
and computer company—Geeks for Rent—and he
loved going to other business owners who had a
marketing or computer program online and finding
ways to fix the problem. He applied this strength in
his relationships, too, listening to his daughter or his
friends and paying attention to their body language,
observing all of the little details in order to offer
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great solutions and feedback. He did it because he
wanted to bring things back to life. That's what the
Restorative strength is all about. I have coached
many people with the Restorative strength and a
great deal of these individuals have experienced
some form of tragedy, trauma, or personal failure in
their life. Restorative people possess a grace and love
for other people—they enjoy helping those who feel
broken and want to nurture, love, and restore that
person “back to life.”
Restorative individuals must remember to use
this strength on themselves, whether it's coping with
a divorce, an addiction, or another type of personal
obstacle. Restorers must be willing to bring
themselves “back to life,” too. People with the
Restorative strength can err on the self-critical side
because they are so hungry for constant self-
improvement and must, therefore, balance this with
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self-care. Restorative folks are good team energizers
because they are skilled at encouraging other people
to improve their lives.
REVIEWING THE RESTORATIVE STRENGTH
º
LOVES TO SOLVE PROBLEMS
ENERGIZED BY PROBLEMS
PRACTICAL
CONCEPTUAL
PERSONAL
BRINGS THINGS BACK TO LIFE
KEEN OBSERVER
Remember, life is like a dog sled team—it's
how we harness our strengths that will help us create
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momentum for outrageous success. And that's my
passion for you—to create momentum for outrageous
success, not only in your professional life but in your
personal life, as well.
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Chapter 5
Getting Strategic
“Study strategy over the years and achieve the spirit of
the warrior. Today is victory over yourself of yesterday.”
Miyamoto Musashi
In the previous chapter, I told you about my
dog sledding trip in the beautiful Rocky Mountains
of Canada and how the four pairs of dogs on a dog
sled team coincide with the Gallup Poll's four
domains of leadership:
Lead dogs have executing strengths. They catch ideas and make them happen.
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Point dogs have strategic strengths. They have a vision of possibility.
Swing dogs have influencing strengths. They sell ideas.
Wheel dogs have relationship strengths. They are the glue of the team.
Point dogs possess a set of strengths that has
to do with vision and possibility—the domain of
strategic thinking.
THE POINT DOG
º
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Take a look at the picture of the point dog. I
want you to notice several things about this pooch.
Start with his eyes. They are introspective, as if this
particular dog has a lot on his mind. The ears are laid
back, unlike the lead dogs, with their executing style
of leadership. This dog is actually looking backwards,
taking in information and data. That's exactly what
the whole domain of leadership is about. The eight
strategic strengths are:
Analytical
Context
Futuristic
Ideation
Input
Intellection
Learner
Strategic
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The Eight Strategic Strengths
Analytical
People with the Analytical strength love to
challenge ideas and they deal largely with facts, not
emotions, which can be quite disconcerting for
individuals with different strengths. When trying to
communicate with or persuade someone who's
Analytical, emotional words and body language will
be ineffective, unless the individual also has
relationship building strengths. People with a
dominant Analytical strength see patterns very
easily—patterns in the universe, patterns in their
work, patterns in their family, patterns in the world
around them. They enjoy asking questions in order
to identify patterns and find solutions. In other
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words, Analytical people love to analyze, and often
thrive in the medical research or database
management fields. One risk with Analytical people
is paralysis by analysis—over analyzing something
until one is stuck. If an Analytical individual partners
with someone with the Activator strength, the
Activator can help the Analytical person to get going.
To empower an Analytical person, show them data
that supports what you're telling them. I was
coaching a couple and the wife asked for help
relating to her husband, an Analytical individual who
wasn't very good at showing physical affection. I
suggested to the wife that, instead of expressing how
loved she felt when her husband hugged her, that she
keep a journal and write down the exact number of
hugs he gave her within a two week period as
connected to her degree of satisfaction with the
relationship. Data talks when it comes to Analytical
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individuals.
REVIEWING THE ANALYTICAL STRENGTH
º
CHALLENGES IDEAS
BACKS UP THEORY WITH FACT
PRIORITIZES DATA OVER EMOTION
SEES PATTERNS
LOVES ASKING QUESTIONS
GETS PAID TO ANALYZE
Context
Context is a unique strength in which people's
brains looks backwards. Contextual individuals feel
that the present moment is unstable. They feel more
alive when looking at history—the history of
mankind, the history of a relationship, the history of
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the individual to whom they are relating. Contextual
individuals relate and devise plans by looking at the
past. I have a couple of different clients with this
particular strength. One is a therapist who loves
asking questions about where clients grew up and
what their experiences were. The more she learns
about a person's history, the more it helps her to
relate to the individual in the present. My other
client is a person who honors the past. He loves
reflecting on his childhood, which he looks upon as
the best, most successful, most enjoyable time in his
life. In fact, he is struggling to adapt to his adult life
and his mind sometimes fixates on his childhood
because it's the time when he felt the most
successful. One of the things that we decided
together to help him deal with his present reality was
to create a special room—kind of like a “man cave”—
in his house. This room is separate from his wife and
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kids, filled with memorabilia and items from his
childhood. He also filled it with items representing
his present interests—historical reenactments of
Bonnie and Clyde and the clothes, cars, weapons,
and history of the period. His daily time in this room
working on crafts and hobbies energizes him because
he surrounds himself with positive history.
People who have the strength of Context
typically love case studies. They enjoying taking a
real person or civilization from the past and
exploring. If you give them Rome, they want to know
all about it, what caused it to rise and fall, how
everything happened. Then, they take that
information and use it to help their business or a
person in need. Contextual people are not “deja vu”
people, they are “vuja de” people. “Deja vu” is when
we take something from the future and it's in the
moment. But vuja de helps us understand the past
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and how the past affects the future. One of the most
important principles to remember about people with
the Context strength is their firm belief that those
who cannot remember the past are doomed to repeat
it. The Contextual individual's mindset is focused on
understanding the past in order to make the present
and future better.
REVIEWING THE CONTEXT STRENGTH
º
LOOKS BACKWARD
FEELS THE PRESENT IS UNSTABLE
HAS CONFIDENCE IN HISTORY
RELATES THROUGH THE PAST
HONORS THE PAST
LOVES CASE STUDIES
BELIEVES PAST PREDICTS FUTURE
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Futuristic
People with the Futuristic strength love to
look across the horizon. As dreamers, they are
fascinated and energized by the future. And they
have great imaginations! I wouldn't be surprised if
George Lucas, the legendary Star Wars inventor and
movie producer, was a Futurist. People with the
Futuristic strength are all about possibilities. One of
my clients is a career coach for teenagers going into
college and, lucky for them, she has the Futuristic
strength. She is gifted at helping children find their
niche in the career world. Because she is the type of
person that loves to dream and look to tomorrow,
she is an incredible career coach. Other people with
the Futuristic strength are gifted at making
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predictions in business or the stock market. And
futuristic speakers are individuals whose
imaginations can go “where no man has gone
before.” Based on that, Futurist individuals can
communicate and share predictions—you can
imagine how this could help entrepreneurs and
business leaders beat the competition. Futuristic
individuals are often drawn to the fields of science
and technology because both fields are always
evolving.
People with the Futuristic strength need to
partner with Activators. Futuristic people can stay
“in their head”—not grounded in the moment—and
they need someone with the Activator strength to
help them follow through with current ideas, goals,
and dreams instead of focusing so narrowly on the
future. Of course, you will never take that away from
a person with the Futuristic strength, but it can
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always be balanced.
REVIEWING THE FUTURISTIC STRENGTH
º
LOOKS OVER THE HORIZON
FASCINATED BY THE FUTURE
DREAMER
ENERGIZED BY TOMORROW
STUDIES SCIENCE/TECHNOLOGY
FUTURIST SPEAKER
CAREER COACH
Ideation
I would venture to guess that Donald Trump
has the strength of Ideation. One of the most
successful real estate tycoons and entrepreneurs in
the world, he is fascinated with ideas. He loves
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exploring and explaining concepts. His mind is
always looking for new angles, new perspectives, new
views. He perceives possibilities in ways radically
different from the common person. And he's an idea
guy when it comes to architecture, as well as golf—
one of his company split-offs is called Donald
Trump's World of Golf. Donald Trump loves the idea
of golf. But, even more than that, he loves designing
golf courses. And you should see the sparkle in his
eye when he talks about his ideas on how to carve out
a beautiful, exciting, challenging golf course in the
middle of the Earth. He's on a mission to create and
change the world, eighteen holes at a time and it's
because he's fascinated with all of the angles and
perspectives of building a golf course. An interior
designer I know has the Ideation strength. She talks
about walking into a house, looking at the furniture
and where it's placed, and immediately envisioning a
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better design for the room. At night, laying in bed,
she thinks about how to design a home and where
each piece should go. People with the Ideation
strength are easily bored. They need novel ideas and
new topics to think about. Ideators benefit from
having a thinking chair—a special place to sit,
meditate, and allow ideas to grow. Many times,
people with the Ideation strength need to partner
with someone who has the Analytical strength. Why?
Analytical people love to ask questions and poke
holes in ideas. Essentially, Analytical individuals
challenge ideas, helping both people to get the best
idea out of the exchange. People with the Ideation
strength are also extremely motivated by research
and development and often excel in this area of the
business world.
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REVIEWING THE IDEATION STRENGTH
º
FASCINATED BY IDEAS
ENJOYS NEW PERSPECTIVES
CONTRARY ANGLES
BORED QUICKLY
Input
People with the Input strength are like
sponges. Their minds soak up, collect, and store
information like a sponge soaks up every ounce of
liquid in its path. People with this strength like to
collect quotes, stories, anecdotes, or material items.
Whatever an Input person is fascinated with, they
love to collect, and it's difficult for them to throw
things away. If you overuse the Input strength, it is
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easy to be a hoarder, either physically or emotionally.
Sometimes, individuals with the Input strength feel a
sense of chaos because they have so many ideas and
material things in their home that their mind feels
similarly cluttered. On an emotional level, for
example, I have coached people with the Input
strength who have too many irrational or extraneous
ideas about their husband or wife floating around in
their heads to be able to think clearly about the
relationship. This abundance of ideas clutters up
their mind and gets in the way of enjoying a happy,
healthy marriage. On the positive side, a person with
the Input strength loves to ask, “What is my question
today?” (One person I know literally asks himself a
question a day, starting a daily quest to gather all the
information, data, and ideas related to the question
that he can.) Not surprisingly, people with the Input
strength love the Internet—they are huge fans of
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Google—because it gives them access to thousands of
rabbit trails for seeking and searching out all the
latest information. Thus, people with Input are a
great encyclopedia of trivial information and are
usually excellent teammates in Trivial Pursuit. But, if
an Input person overuses this strength, they may be
seen as a “know it all.” Input individuals must be
careful not to spout knowledge, facts, and ideas
without knowing that the other person wants to hear
the information. To help with this, people with the
Input should create systems for storing information,
whether it's mentally or physically, because the sheer
quantity of ideas and information can be
overwhelming. Individuals with Input typically
benefit from someone who has organizing skills to
help focus their curiosities into one area, becoming
experts instead of renaissance collectors. Input
individuals should consider how they can monetize
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their strengths, asking themselves, “How do I turn
this strength into a moneymaker? How can this help
me create a better business? Advance my career?
Maximize my family/love life?” The key is finding
ways for an Input person to use the information they
gather instead of allowing it to grow stagnant. Those
with the Input strength must find avenues to share
their information. People with Input make great
librarians, researchers, legal assistants, and virtual
assistants.
REVIEWING THE INPUT STRENGTH
º
MIND IS A SPONGE
COLLECTS AND STORES
STRUGGLES TO DISPOSE OF ITEMS
LOVES THE INTERNET
ASKS A DAILY QUESTION
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Intellection
Individuals with Intellection are people who
love mental activity. They are constantly wearing
their “thinking cap.” Sometimes, these individuals
can struggle with focus and Intellection becomes an
underused strength because Intellecters don't know
where/how to use it. People with Intellection enjoy
time alone. I once spoke with a prisoner of war who
told me that the strength of Intellection helped him
when he was placed in solitary confinement because
he was able to make it a celebration of solitude and
spent his time reflecting on his life and its many joys.
People with the strength of Intellection have a
constant mental hum. They like to let their ideas
simmer and perk. Once they let an idea brew,
individuals with Intellection are able to produce
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action and results. One of my clients loves to serve
on boards in her community. I asked her, “What's
your motivation for serving on these boards?” She
shared that she was intellectually stimulated by the
problems and issues that each board confronted and
liked that it caused her brain to think in new ways.
People with Intellection want and need their ideas to
be challenged. If you want to connect with a person
with Intellection, play devil's advocate. Individuals
with Intellection believe that a challenge only creates
a better, more complex, more efficient idea.
REVIEWING THE INTELLECTION STRENGTH
º
MENTAL ACTIVITY
FOCUS DEPENDS ON STRENGTHS
SOMETIMES LACKS FOCUS
ENJOYS TIME ALONE
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MENTAL HUM
LIKES IDEAS TO BE CHALLENGED
Learner
People with the Learner strength are not
interested in learning because it offers a certificate or
degree, they simply love the process of learning.
Learners want to know about the world and what
makes it work. Sometimes we call them professional
students, because they are perpetually taking classes.
Learners just can't get enough of learning new
things. Learners benefit from understanding their
unique learning style. Some people learn more
efficiently by reading or watching something. Others
learn through experience—an aesthetic approach. In
other words, self-awareness is critical, especially in
terms of how a Learner learns best.
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Ideally, Learners should track their learning
as a means of building self-confidence. Because
Learners do not learn for the sake of a degree or title,
tracking their continuing education units, how many
books they've read, how many people they've
interviewed, all the data that they have discovered,
helps build self-esteem. Learners love to adapt—they
love novelty. They're the folks that help others
embrace and enjoy change. I know a lovely Learner
who taught her children to camp when the electricity
went out during a storm. Her children were scared
because there was no light except for candles, so they
made a tent and she created a camping experience
inside their home to distract them from the storm.
Learners should take advantage of continuing
education programs at their workplace. If you are a
Learner, find out if your employer is willing to pay
for your education so you can reach that next level of
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learning and career success. Learners are also good
friends of technology because technology is
constantly changing. Remember, as with any
strength, it is important for Learners to utilize their
unique abilities in one or two expert areas. It's easy
to be a jack of all trades and a master of none.
Learners should find one or two areas where they
will shine and maximize and monetize their strength.
I have a friend, Latham Shinder, who is a ghostwriter
and a Learner. Latham loves to learn, travel,
interview people and he is on his way to becoming
the world's #1 memoir ghostwriter. How has he been
so successful? He has grown his business by
harnessing his Learner strength to become an expert
in memoir ghostwriting. He loves hearing people's
stories and learning about their lives and, doing so,
has become the expert on creating New York Times
bestseller-ready books for his clients.
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REVIEWING THE LEARNER STRENGTH
º
LOVES PROCESS OF LEARNING
CURIOUS ABOUT THE WORLD
LIKES NOVELTY/CHANGE
THRIVES AS AN EXPERT
MUST TAP INTO PERSONAL STYLE
BENEFIT FROM TRACKING LEARNING
Strategic
People who have the Strategic strength are
incredible chess players—surprise, surprise. In fact,
most Strategic individuals are bored by checkers
because there simply aren't enough moves. Chess
gives Strategists the ability to think ahead and find
the best route—an act that energizes and excites
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them. Though, if you ask a Strategic individual how
they came up with a strategy, many times they can't
tell you. That's because strategy comes naturally to
Strategists. Strategic individuals are always asking,
“What if this or that happens?” They identify all the
what ifs, select a route, and strike. Strategic thinkers
see around the corner and focus on saving time.
Strategists aren't interested in extraneous
information, they want to get to the target. Some
Strategic thinkers are pinned as devil's advocates.
But most individuals with this strength aren't trying
to be defensive or combative—they are simply
looking for the most efficient way to success. The risk
of overusing the strength of Strategy is that
individuals with this strength create strategies for
others but forget to develop a strategy in their own
lives. That's what I do as a coach. I help people create
strategies, figure out goals, articulate their dreams,
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maximize their relationships and have those “Aha!”
moments. Oftentimes, my clients have light bulbs go
off when they realize they are under-utilizing the
strength of strategy in their personal lives. Using
strategy in your personal life has no bounds. You can
use strategy to become a better tennis player or a
better golfer. The sky is the limit. Strategic
individuals are leaders and idea generators, though
they may not be very inspirational unless they also
have influencing strengths. People with the strength
of strategy should stay on the front end, rather than
the back end, of projects. Strategic individuals are
bored when a project is already completed. At the
front end, Strategic individuals can help to identify
patterns that are otherwise overlooked and, with
these patterns, create a plan—whether it's a
marketing plan, a speaking plan, or a business
development plan.
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REVIEWING THE STRATEGIC STRENGTH
º
FINDS THE BEST ROUTE
ASKS “WHAT IF?”
SEES, SELECTS, STRIKES
LOOKS AROUND THE CORNER
STRATEGIZES GOALS
LEADS WITH IDEAS
IDEALLY ON FRONT END
Remember, no strength is better or any worse
than another strength. When used strategically, each
and every strength has the capacity to yield immense
success in the possessor's life. It is the combination
of all thirty four strengths that creates harmony in
the world. It is why we come together to form
families and communities. Allow yourself to create
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momentum for outrageous success by not only
discovering, labeling, actualizing, and maximizing,
but also monetizing your strengths.
DISCOVERY QUESTIONS
º
1. Which of the eight strategic strengths do you
possess?
2. Which of the eight strategic strengths do you
recognize as a weakness?
3. Do any of your family or friends possess one or
more of the eight strategic strengths?
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Chapter 6
Influencing Success
“The road to success is always under construction.”
Lily Tomlin
Swing dogs, the third pair of dogs coinciding
with Gallup's four domains of leadership, have
influencing strengths—they sell ideas. Influencing
individuals help teams reach a broader audience.
These are the folks that can take charge, speak up,
and make sure a group is heard. People with
influencing strengths have an uncanny ability to
influence, sell, and persuade.
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THE SWING DOG
º
Notice that the dog in this picture is different.
He looks playful and outgoing, his ears are erect and
listening well—he looks lovable—and his open mouth
is similar to those who love to talk, influence,
interact, and socialize. The eight influencing
strengths are:
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Activator
Command
Communication
Competition
Maximizer
Self-Assurance
Significance
Woo
The Eight Influencing Strengths
Activator
People that have the Activator strength are
what I call “Just do it” individuals. The Activator
strength is all about action. Activators believe actions
speak louder than words. They want to know, “When
are we going to get going?” A little less talk and a lot
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more action. When Activators have an idea, they
don't think about it very long. They are also aesthetic
learners and, rather than just reading or listening to
ideas and theories, they want to practice, they want
to role play, they want to experience it. Activators are
good fits for start-up organizations. They are most
effective when a project needs momentum to get
started. People with the Activator strength don't
really follow the “Ready, aim, fire!” approach.
Activators are more like “Ready, fire, aim!” They
tend to act spontaneously with very little
preparation, though they are still extremely practical.
I love the story of an Activator, a nun, who had 140
acres of land back in the 1970s during the energy
shortage. She said, “We need to drill for gas!” The
only problem was, it cost around $100,000 to even
determine whether there was gas on the land and if it
could be used legally. So, this bright Activator
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discovered a way to secure $100,000 and, sure
enough, they discovered that she had a huge supply
of gas on her land.
Sometimes Activators can seem impatient, so
they must ensure that they take the time to build
relationships with key people instead of trying to run
the show all by themselves. Activators must also
remember to balance their strengths. If you are
always acting, you will eventually shoot yourself in
the foot. But Activators typically don't mind mistakes
because they are always learning from their
experiences. Activators learn from their mistakes in
order to make smart decisions going forward. Pair an
Activator with an Analyzer and you can help an
Analyzer avoid paralysis by over-analysis. Activators
must recognize that there is a time and a place to act
impulsively, in order to maximize their strength, not
overuse it.
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REVIEWING THE ACTIVATOR STRENGTH
º
“JUST DO IT”
EAGER TO GET GOING
BELIEVES ACTIONS TALK
KINESTHETIC LEARNERS
READY, FIRE, AIM
Command
A person with the Command strength can take
charge, especially in times of crisis or conflict.
Command individuals thrive with clarity and honesty
and hate unresolved conflict. They prefer to expose
conflict so it can be dealt with quickly. Command
individuals ask a lot of questions—the questions no
one else has the courage to ask. Remember
Lieutenant Presley O'Bannon? One of the founding
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fathers of the Marines awarded the Mameluke sword
for his courage? That Command strength is in my
heritage. People with the Command strength are
adept at breaking bottlenecks and creating
momentum. They have the desire to lead and feel
energized by taking charge. They often defend the
underdog—someone who would be otherwise
defenseless. Individuals with Command also love to
serve as spokespeople for organizations. If you need
straightforward, honest evaluation of something, ask
someone with the Command strength. Individuals
with Command will not try to flatter you with
insincere observations—they will give you their
honest, straightforward evaluation because they
believe that honesty is the best policy. Of course,
people with the Command strength can overuse it by
acting bossy, pushy, intimidating, or opinionated. It's
important that people with the Command strength
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partner with individuals who have the strength of
Empathy. People with Empathy or relator strengths
help soften the strength of Command, which can
otherwise be quite intimidating.
Command individuals do have a heart but
sometimes they need other people to soften them up.
I think it's ironic that my wife has four out of five
relationship strengths—she certainly helps to balance
my Command strength. Dealing with a person who
has the Command strength is somewhat unique. You
must recognize a Command individual's need to lead.
You also must recognize that people with the
Command strength want your honest feedback. If
they are hurting the organization or being too pushy,
they want to know it and are not intimidated by your
straightforward feedback. They crave it, they need it,
they want it. When a person with the Command
strength is overpowering you or stepping on your
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toes, you can help them slow down and balance their
power and presence. Some refer to Commanders as
“pit bulls.” But don't you want a pit bull on your side
when it's time to fight? (If you are going to challenge
an individual with the Command strength, make sure
it's a worthy cause because Command individuals are
great fighters!)
REVIEWING THE COMMAND STRENGTH
º
TAKES CHARGE
NEEDS CLARITY AND HONESTY
ASKS QUESTIONS
STRONG IN CRISIS/CONFLICT
CHARISMATIC PRESENCE
BREAKS BOTTLENECKS
LEADER AND DEFENDER
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Communication
People with the Communication strength like
to explain ideas. When Communicators encounter a
new idea, they want to express it and bring that idea
to life. They also want to entertain and capture
people's attention. Communicators love finding the
right story or the right image to express an idea. The
Toastmasters organization helps people develop
their communication and presentation skills. I have
been a part of Toastmasters for the past ten years. It
is an incredible organization for anyone who wants
to grow their communication and leadership skills.
Communicators are often wordsmiths. They
love vocabulary and like to use dramatic, inspiring
words, making them, not only great speakers,but
great writers, as well. Communicators know how to
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use words to influence, sell, and open your mind.
One way a communicator can maximize their
strength is to keep a story or quote file. I've been
doing this for years. When I have a personal
experience that I think is worth sharing, I write it on
a three by five card and keep it on file. (Some people
keep story or quote files on their computers.)
Communicators want and need a sounding board in
order to identify which stories are exciting to other
people. Having a sounding board for feedback helps
a communicator hone and refine their storytelling
skills. A book for communicators that I absolutely
love is called Money Talks: How to Make a Million
as a Speaker by Alan Weiss. He's a skilled speaker
and communication consultant, and, in his book he
talks about how people with communication and
presentation skills need to have a balance of savvy,
steak, and sizzle.
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Savvy
Communicators can develop their skills by being
savvy about what makes a great communicator and
creates the best connection with an audience—
understanding the ins and outs of the
communication world.
Steak
In addition to savvy, you also need steak—content.
Make sure you are not only entertaining others but
offering something of real substance, something
“meaty.” (By the way, that's what Strategic
individuals are looking for—content.)
Sizzle
Most communicators are great at finding sizzle—
taking that steak and pouring a delicious mushroom
sauce on it. My wife is a wonderful, gourmet cook,
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and she creates the best sauces. Last night we had
grilled Rosemary chicken and she made this
incredible lemon zest cream sauce that made the
chicken sizzle, come alive. It was a delight to eat
because it was so savory and flavorful—that's exactly
what people with Communication strengths do, they
create a sizzle that draws you in and makes you want
to “taste” more of what they are selling or
communicating.
Communicators are also highly skilled at
conversation. But communicators need to remember
to actively listen and take care not monopolize
conversation by talking in excess. If you are in a
relationship with a Communicator, you know they
love storytelling but sometimes one can feel like
shouting, “Would you really listen to what I have to
say?” Good communicators must be conscious of
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this. One should keep in mind that Communicators
are often willing to communicate on behalf of an
organization or cause for a fee—or free. They are
excellent choices to be company spokespeople and
are often willing to speak up for their family or
friends—at no cost. At the same time,
Communicators can monetize their strengths by
developing their skills as professional speakers. The
National Speakers Association, like Toastmasters,
helps Communicators develop their presentation
skills.
REVIEWING THE COMMUNICATION STRENGTH
º
LIKES TO EXPLAIN/EXPRESS
BRINGS STORY TO LIFE
SHORT ATTENTION SPAN
WORDSMITH/SPEAKER/WRITER
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NEEDS A SOUNDING BOARD
GREAT CONVERSATIONALIST
SPOKESPERSON
Competition
People with the Competition strength love a
good yardstick. And Competitors also thrive when
they have someone with which to compete.
Competition provides a measuring stick for
monitoring one's growth. Competitors are forever on
the lookout for someone to compete with—other
people who can help them be their best.
Individuals with the Competition strength
should look for mentors—someone who has “been
there, done that” and can challenge them to continue
accomplishing bigger and better things. Because of
their love for Competition, individuals with this
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strength tend to gravitate towards the sports arena.
Competition is my #5 strength. I grew up playing
football, tennis, and golf and I can testify to how
energized I feel by a battle or “tug of war” of sorts. Of
course, Competition is not limited to sports.
Toastmasters, for example, has competitive speaking
events. Every year, individuals go head to head in the
world championship of public speaking. Others find
opportunities for competition in the workplace.
Currently, I am the president of the Business
Network International. BNI has three teams
competing against each other for the most business
referrals, new visitors, and best meeting attendance.
And the competitors on these teams absolutely love
the opportunity.
Let me clarify—competitors are not
competitively inclined so they can show up other
people or have bragging rights. Such behavior would
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be an overuse of this strength. Competitors love
competition because they believe it facilitates
excellence in themselves and others.
If you have Competitors on your team, take
advantage of their insights on the strategies you can
use to win and get ahead in your current venture. If
you are trying to win over a market in the
community, people with the Competition strength
will look to what other people are doing successfully
and identify the advantage that will allow your
interest to get ahead. Utilize the competitors on your
team. They will help you excel. Individuals with the
Competition strength enjoy measuring their
achievements. They like trophies, certificates,
medals—recognition. They want to hear, “You win!
You succeed!” Without positive feedback, a win is
less satisfying for a competitor.
However, Individuals with the Competition
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strength often have a difficult time handling a loss or
defeat and tend not to give up. When a competitor
loses, he or she will usually do one of two things:
1. Figure out what to do to win
2. Quit and accept that it's not a strength area.
Seth Godin's book, The Dip, is a great read for
individuals with the Competition strength because it
explores when to quit and when to keep going. Godin
maintains that it is important to quit—sometimes—
in order not to waste one's time and energy on a
weakness. Most Competitors don't have a problem
quitting things they are not passionate about and
changing over to something that inspires and excites
them. Because it is so easy to move from one
competition to the next, Competitors must learn how
to celebrate their wins, which is often where a coach
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steps in. If you have people on your team with the
Competition strength, help them to find the areas
where they can excel and win. Remember to
celebrate their wins, focusing on what caused them
to win, and how they did it. When I coach
Competitors, I love to ask them to tell me about their
successes and victories: “Tell me a story about a big
win.” Then I focus on what caused the individual to
be a winner in that situation, what strengths,
strategies, and skills led them to victory. That's
when, many times, the light bulbs go on in their
heads because they have discovered which winning
strategies caused their success.
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REVIEWING THE COMPETITION STRENGTH
º
ROOTED IN COMPARISON
NEEDS A YARDSTICK
LOVES OTHER COMPETITORS
WANTS TO BE THE BEST
LOOKING FOR THE WINNING EDGE
LEARNS FROM WINS
Maximizer
Maximizers are motivated by excellence more
than trying to improve weaknesses. Maximizers are
not interested in problem solving. They want to take
something good and tweak it until it's great. That's
how Maximizers earned the nickname “pearl divers.”
Maximizers dive deep, find a pearl that is already
developing, and polish it. Then, they mount that
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pearl in a beautiful setting and make it look like a
million bucks.
Maximizers can seem discriminatory because
they dislike spending time with people focused on
negativity. Maximizers want to surround themselves
with people focused on excellence. Thus, Maximizers
are not ideally suited to be therapists because
therapists typically address weaknesses. A coach, on
the other hand, focuses on strengths, making
coaching a better career fit for a Maximizer.
Maximizers are also adept at building teams and
helping people discover and polish their strengths.
They make great managers, mentors, and coaches
because they know how to maximize an
organization's assets. However, Maximizers must be
careful not to overuse their strength to the point that
they deny their own weaknesses or the weaknesses of
the individuals in their organization. Another
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challenge for Maximizers is discussing painful topics.
Recently, I was having a discussion with an
individual with the Maximizer strength about a
friend who suffered a heart attack and he interrupted
me: “Let's not talk about this anymore. It's too sad.”
This individual also happens to be a writer—he loves
tweaking and polishing other people's writing but is
not comfortable discussing inherently negative
topics. Maximizers and individuals with the
Restorative strength make great teams because the
Maximizer can hand off problems to the restorer.
And because Maximizers gravitate towards success
and excellence, they usually enjoy metrics, making
them the perfect partners for individuals with the
Analytical strength who can help develop a
measuring system to allow the Maximizer to rate his
or her excellence.
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REVIEWING THE MAXIMIZER STRENGTH
º
MOTIVATED BY EXCELLENCE
PEARL DIVER
REPELLED BY NEGATIVITY
DISLIKES PROBLEM SOLVING
PREFERS FIXING THINGS
FOCUSED ON STRENGTHS
Self-Assurance
Self-Assurance is a lot like self-confidence.
Individuals with the strength of Self-Assurance
possess an “I can do it! I am able!” mindset. Whereas
most people spend their lives wondering if they are
“good enough,” the person with the Self-Assurance
strength believes in his or her abilities and is
confident in his or her decisions. As a result of this
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certainty, Self-Assured people are very independent.
Instead of second guessing or doubting themselves,
individuals with the strength of Self-Assurance often
question other people who disagree with their
prescribed solution. People with the strength of Self-
Assurance should be careful not overuse their
strength, which can make them come across as
haughty and self-righteous.
When a person's Self-Assurance is balanced,
they can be very influential, almost contagious.
Others are drawn to a Self-Assured person's sense of
security. My best friend is extremely self-assured—
it's one of his top five strengths and he balances it
well. Sure of himself, he has thrown out the rule book
and gone from selling ghostwritten books for $5,000
to landing projects for $150,000 a book. And he has
discovered that there is no one else who does it quite
like him. He has his own strategy, his own goals, and,
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most impressively, he continues forging ahead
without ever flinching.
Self-Assured individuals run the risk of
becoming work-a-holics who fail to balance their
relationships, becoming loners because of their
hyper-independence. Because people with the Self-
Assurance strength are always trying to be at the top
of the heap, they have to work extra hard not to
alienate themselves from others. At the same time,
Self-Assured people should be encouraged to set
those ambitious goals, to “go for it,” because their
high degree of persistence often results in success.
Made to be mentors, individuals with the strength of
Self-Assurance are excellent sources of stability and
inspiration for people who lack self-confidence. Like
the keel of a ship, Self-Assured people drive
individuals and organizations to perform better.
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REVIEWING THE SELF-ASSURANCE STRENGTH
º
SELF-CONFIDENT
ABLE MINDSET
LIKES INDEPENDENCE
AURA OF CERTAINTY
DOESN'T SECOND GUESS SELF
CONTAGIOUS SPIRIT
AMBITIOUS GOAL SETTER
Significance
One of my clients is a young guy with a
Bachelor's degree in Business and he has the
strength of Significance. Individuals with this
strength desire recognition and approval. They don't
mind the limelight. In fact, they love the thrill of the
stage. People with the strength of Significance are
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very goal-oriented. They want to stand out. They
want a positive reputation. At the same time, this
keen awareness of what other people think can be a
hindrance because the individual with Significance
may fret about what others are thinking instead of
having confidence in themselves. Everybody has a
need for significance, a desire to be important, to
gain approval and recognition of their value in a
relationship or organization. People of Significance
tend to be big talkers. They have big goals, big
dreams. But they need to make sure that their
performance—what they are actually living and
doing—matches what comes out of their mouth.
Many times, the young man I coach struggles
with the fear of failure. Despite the strength of
Significance, he suffers from a lack of self-
confidence. He worries that he will not live up to his
father or be as successful as his peers. People of
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Significance often fear that they are not going to
achieve as much—be as significant—as someone else.
Thus, people of Significance must seek balance. An
individual with the strength of Significance is the one
to call in those last few seconds of an important
basketball game. People with the Significance
strength function well when they are “on the line.”
They want to be the person kicking the ball, shooting
the basket, making the buzzer, because it gives them
a sense of significance.
REVIEWING THE SIGNIFICANCE STRENGTH
º
WANTS TO BE RECOGNIZED
SEEKS APPROVAL
THRIVES ONSTAGE
GOAL-ORIENTED
WANTS TO STAND OUT
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FEARS FAILURE
AWARE OF OTHERS' PERCEPTIONS
Woo
What in the world is “Woo”?
Winning Others Over
People with this strength are vivacious,
infectious, caring, gregarious people who love to
meet and greet. Individuals with Woo have never
met a stranger. Strangers are just friends they have
yet to meet. People with Woo love connecting with
new people. I know a woman with Woo who prides
herself on meeting strangers everywhere she goes.
She jokes that when she travels and taxi drivers take
her from the airport to where she's going, they
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always propose at the end of the trip.
People with Woo know how to find common
ground with others. They will always remember your
name and, oftentimes, they are very humorous, silly,
and light-hearted. Never threatening, individuals
with Woo have the ability to put you at ease. Others
love to listen to individuals with Woo, to be close to
them, and people with Woo are often the life of the
party. In a serious meeting, they can break the ice,
liven things up, and break down walls with their
light-hearted humor. However, a relationship risk
factor for many individuals with Woo is their
tendency to move away from long-term
relationships. Woo-ers enjoy the excitement of
meeting and greeting someone, winning them over,
and then moving on. As a result, they can come
across as insincere because their relationships with
people lack depth. That makes individuals with Woo
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great matches for people with the Relator strength.
Relators are strong at cultivating long-term
relationships while people with Woo are great at
marketing, networking, and putting people at ease.
REVIEWING THE WOO STRENGTH
º
WINNING OTHERS OVER
MEETING AND GREETING
CONNECTS WITH STRANGERS
FINDS COMMON GROUND
HUMOROUS
LIGHT HEARTED
Each of the different influencing strengths
confer unique ways of selling ideas. In some cases,
the strength relates to courage, in others it is
humorous and light-hearted, but all of these
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strengths are vital for a team's success. If influencing
strengths are absent from your top five, don't fret.
You can always partner with others and learn from
their strengths.
DISCOVERY QUESTIONS
º
1. Which of the eight influencing strengths do you
possess?
2. Which of the eight influencing strengths do you
recognize as a weakness?
3. Do any of your family or friends possess one or
more of the eight influencing strengths?
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Chapter 7
Building Strong Relationships
“Success can be built on a strong relationship.”
Joshua Micah Marshall
Remember the wheel dogs? The pair of dogs
at the front of sled adept at relationship building?
Wheel dogs are the glue of a sledding team—they
hold everything together without drama.
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THE WHEEL DOG
º
Take a look at the wheel dog in the picture.
Notice the position of her ears. She looks
approachable and unintimidating—her eyes are
looking at you intently, her mouth is open, and it
looks as if she is ready to reach out and lick or nuzzle
you. You can imagine this dog turning onto her back
affectionately, hoping that you will scratch her belly.
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She has a lot in common with individuals who
possess relationship building strengths. The nine
relationship building strengths are:
Adaptability
Developer
Connectedness
Empathy
Harmony
Includer
Individualization
Positivity
Relator
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The Nine Relationship Strengths
Adaptability
Adapters live in the moment. Very
spontaneous, they prefer to focus on “here and now”
rather than thinking long-term. Adapters see life as
one choice at a time. People with the strength of
Adaptability tend to be very flexible. When sudden
detours happen in their work or family life, they
remain centered, holding onto their sense of calm.
This can be soothing and encouraging to other
people who react less favorably in the face of sudden
change. My wife has this particular strength and
she's an office manager for a cardiologist. Change is
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part of her job description. If someone calls in sick
and my wife needs to go in a few hours earlier, she
does it with a good attitude because Adaptability is
one of her top strengths. If a member of her team
wants to hand off a task, my wife doesn't mind. She
enjoys pitching in and getting things done for the
betterment of the team. Yet, Adapters must
remember that there is a time to be flexible and a
time to be firm. If Adapters overuse this strength,
they may be so focused on the short-term good that
they neglect long-term decisions. Others can learn
from Adapters by seeing the value in spontaneity. I'm
a structured person, but marrying an adapter has
helped me to appreciate living in the moment and I
enjoy great benefits when I schedule a little
spontaneity into my life. Recently I gave the
commencement speech at Grayson County College
and I left a section of the speech unwritten—I opened
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it up so that I could share whatever was in my heart
at the moment.
Adapters can maximize this strength by
preparing for potential disasters and partnering with
an individual with the Focus strength. Works for me!
My #1 strength is Focus and one of my wife's top
strengths is Adaptability. Focused individuals help
adapters identify priorities and stay concentrated on
those priorities long-terms. Adapters help focused
individuals enjoy the moment and “go with the flow.”
REVIEWING THE ADAPTABILITY STRENGTH
º
LIVES IN THE MOMENT
MAKES ONE CHOICE AT A TIME
FLEXIBLE, CALM, SOOTHING
CAN HANDLE CHANGE
A GOOD PARTNER WITH FOCUS
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Developer
Developers seek potential in everyone, no
matter what the situation, Developers see potential.
They believe that people are born with limitless
possibilities. If our society was full of caterpillars,
Developers would believe that each caterpillar could
develop, grow wings, and fly to their destination.
Developers are talented at helping individuals
and teams discover their potential. When a
Developer helps others, they feel genuinely fulfilled. I
often recommend to the Developers I coach that they
make a list of people whom they have impacted. Such
a list will inspire a Developer by forcing him or her to
recognize how they have empowered others and
made a difference in their lives. After that, I
recommend that the Developer make a list of people
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they want to mentor in order to continue honing this
strength in the future. Developers can also benefit
from identifying the mentors and teachers that have
affected their lives and by showing gratitude for each
of these individuals. At the same time, Developers
run the risk of investing too much time and energy in
“lost causes.” In some cases, there are individuals
that simply will not sprout wings and fly, no matter
how long a Developer works with them and
challenges them. It's just not in their genetic
makeup. An earthworm will never be a fat, furry
caterpillar, much less a butterfly. But Developers
can't always see this because they are so focused on
possibility. One of the things a Developer can learn is
how to mentor in the moment. Mentorship needn't
last a lifetime. Developers can still make a lasting
impact in the moment without over-committing.
Developers are great additions to any team because
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they are so adept at recognizing the progress,
achievements, and growth of other team members.
People with the development strength help keep
morale high because they celebrate development. But
Developers must take care not to focus so intently on
others that they ignore their own progress. The
Developer's own personal development is crucial if
he or she is to continue helping others to flourish and
succeed.
REVIEWING THE DEVELOPER STRENGTH
º
SEES POTENTIAL IN ALL PEOPLE
ALIVE WITH POSSIBILITIES
GENUINE
HELPS OTHERS DISCOVER POTENTIAL
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Connectedness
Individuals with the strength of
Connectedness believe that things happen for a
reason—and they will tell you that. Connected people
are convinced that there is a reason for everything
and believe all people, places, and parts of life are
connected.
People with the strength of connection often
prize their sense of faith and purpose. They value
diversity. They are bridge builders—they want to find
commonality. People with Connectedness see others
as inherently interconnected. There's a story in the
StrengthsFinder 2.0 of a psychologist with the
strength of Connectedness who, when he sits down
to eat a bowl of cereal in the morning, always sees
Connectedness. He sees all of the different people
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that are involved in bringing him his bowl of cereal—
the farmers in the field, the biochemist who makes
the pesticides, the warehouse workers in the food
preparation plants, even the marketing team
persuading him to buy that particular brand. He sees
how everything connects to create his bowl of cereal.
People with the Connectedness strength are
great leaders on an international scale because of
their desire to unify others, especially when
Connectedness is paired with the strength of
Communication. When that is missing, connected
individuals benefit from partnering with
Communicators who can help them explain their
unified vision to their community or team.
Individuals with Connectedness are strong team
builders. Every family, every relationship, every
workplace needs people with the gift of keeping
people connected.
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REVIEWING THE CONNECTEDNESS STRENGTH
º
SEES POTENTIAL IN ALL PEOPLE
ALIVE WITH POSSIBILITIES
GENUINE
HELPS OTHERS DISCOVER POTENTIAL
Empathy
I call people with Empathy “emotion
thermometers.” They have an innate ability to tune
into the emotional world. And their emotional
thermometers can sense both pleasurable and
unpleasant emotions. Individuals with empathy see
the world through other people's eyes. They may not
have experienced the other person's particular
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problem, crisis, or situation but their imagination
enables them to understand the other nevertheless.
People with Empathy give a voice to the emotional
world. Van Goh said that emotions are the captains
of our lives. What he was trying to say is that,
whether you like emotions or not, your life is
influenced by them. And these emotions are like
captains. People with Empathy understand Van
Goh's famous statement and see how emotions guide
people's lives. People are drawn to Empathetic
individuals. It's my wife's #1 strength and it's easy to
see why her friends, our children, even I am drawn to
her because of her innate ability to support you and
validate people emotionally. In the film, The Green
Mile—a must-see for one and all—the character John
Coffey possesses an amazing gift to feel and
experience what is happening in other people's
hearts and minds. When a child in the film is
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murdered, he feels it—weeping over the child's pain,
despite not witnessing the event. Once in jail, he feels
the inner lives of other inmates, good or bad. It's
even been said that people with Empathy can feel the
crowd or the team's heartbeat. They can sense
momentum or stagnancy. They know what's going
on. Other people are drawn to individuals with
Empathy because they feel heard, listened to, and
validated. It is an empathetic person's gift—their
strength. Yet, Empathetic people must avoid
overusing this strength and having what some call a
“bleeding heart.” Many times, people with Empathy
take on the stress and pain of others in their minds
and bodies, leading to burnout because they don't
know how to turn the Empathy off and care for
themselves. Empathetic people also risk enabling
others if they are unable to exercise tough love
because of their sense of compassion. Individuals
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with Empathy can sense what's missing on a team or
an organization. They are good people to turn to if
you need help solving a team problem and want to
get a sense of what is going on. Last but not least,
Empathetic people are great confidants because of
their ability to keep a secret. Many people feel they
can share anything with an Empathetic person and
Empathetic individuals are skilled at building trust.
Empathy is a useful strength in the workplace, not
just in a counseling office. Be sure to utilize the
Empathetic members of your team.
REVIEWING THE EMPATHY STRENGTH
º
EMOTION THERMOMETERS
SEES WORLD THROUGH OTHERS' EYES
GIVES VOICE TO EMOTION
CAN FEEL A CROWD
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MUST WATCH OUT FOR BURNOUT
GOOD CONFIDANT
Harmony
People with the Harmony strength look for
ways to avoid conflict and seek opportunities to
agree. They dislike fighting and are interested in
keeping the peace. For that reason, a Harmonious
person will probably not tell you what they are really
thinking. Individuals with Harmony will hold their
tongue for the sake of agreement because they don't
want to rock the boat. Moreover, they believe firmly
in equality. For people with the Harmony strength,
when you hurt someone else, you hurt yourself.
Harmonious individuals are practical, especially in
terms of strategic planning and executing difficult
tasks. But, when it comes to theory or opinion,
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Harmonious individuals tend to shy away and focus
on concrete ways to connect. Harmonious
individuals are natural peacemakers. They are adept
at helping team members to understand each other
and get along better. However many times, other
people try to take advantage of a person with the
Harmony strength because a Harmonious person
avoids confrontation and will compromise to make
peace. In order for a Harmonious person to balance
their strength, they must defend themselves when
they should, especially if someone else is hurting
them. For a Harmonious person to learn how to cope
with conflict, I recommend various CAREfrontation
techniques. CAREfrontation is a system that I
developed to deal with conflict and confrontation in
a caring fashion. CAREfrontation teaches people how
to connect, resolve, and empower in the face of
conflict. All Harmonious individuals could benefit
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from a boost in their conflict resolution skills.
REVIEWING THE HARMONY STRENGTH
º
LOOKS FOR AGREEMENT
DISLIKES CONFLICT
PRACTICAL
SEES EVERYONE AS SAME
PEACEMAKER
DOESN'T ROCK BOAT
Includer
People who are Includers love to stretch the
circle wider—it's never big enough—because they are
adept at being inclusive. Includers dislike thinking of
people being left out and often cannot concentrate
until everyone is included. Not surprisingly,
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Includers are incredibly accepting, non-judgmental
people. Individuals with the Includer strength are
able to see past a person's flaws and accept them
unconditionally. Includers have a tendency to pick
up strays. I know an Includer with six adopted pets.
It's part of his strength—he doesn't want an animal
to be left out in the cold. This applies to people, too.
Includers pick up the underdog or the person who
may not have a group or cause. Thus, Includers must
learn to temper their compassion. There is a limit to
how many pets we can have in our home and how
many people we can have in our lives. Overusing this
strength can make an Includer feel overwhelmed.
Includers are good at supporting those who are new
to a group or organization. They can take someone
by the arm and introduce them to everyone.
Includers work networking magic—they are always
connecting with others, asking questions,
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introducing people to each other, and letting magic
happen. In that vein, people with the Includer
strength are proficient at finding new markets. If you
are trying to identify new areas to explore, ask the
Includer. Includers are market savvy. However, one
challenge that Includers face is conflict resolution,
making them the perfect partner for someone with
the Command strength, who typically has the ability
to ask tough questions and face conflict head on. I
coached an Includer—a mother who struggled to face
conflict in her home. Up until we coached together,
her tendency was to enable her teenager, who had
found himself in legal trouble. She didn't want to
exclude him so he got away with things he shouldn't
have. To avoid overusing their strength, Includers
must learn how to set clear boundaries, harnessing
the Command strength. On the positive side,
Includers attract others. I once coached a trainer
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who shared that he was able to engage people who
were quiet and withdrawn and walk over, make a
connection, and help that person feel comfortable.
Then, he would draw them into the discussion and
include their opinions and ideas in the group. And,
remember, if you can learn to include the Includer,
you have won their heart, because that's the heart of
their strength!
REVIEWING THE INCLUDER STRENGTH
º
STRETCHES THE CIRCLE WIDER
HATES EXCLUSION
ACCEPTING
NON-JUDGMENTAL
PICKS UP STRAYS
HELPS NEW PEOPLE
DRAWS PEOPLE IN
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Individualization
Individualization refers to those who love to
discover the uniqueness in others. Individualizers
believe that each person has his or her own unique,
special story. Instead of seeing people's similarities,
Individualizers sees differences—things that make
other people special.
Individualization is my #2 strength and it
helps me not only observe people's strengths, but
their struggles, too. I remember hearing one person
with Individualization say that, when he started
hearing people's stories, it was as if balloons popped
up over their heads like cartoon characters. The
balloons tell me what's going on with them, what
they are thinking, what they are feeling, what they
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want. In a way, people with Individualization have an
ability to read your mind—what's going on intuitively
in your life. They are also quite skilled at reading
body language. As people with Individualization get
to know your story and your story, they can
personalize a plan or strategy to get you from point A
to point Z based on your strengths and struggles.
That's exactly what I do when I speak or coach
individuals, couples, and companies. Recently, I was
the keynote speaker at the Grayson County College
commencement and I wanted to personalize my
speaking to that college. I went there on a tennis
scholarship for my very first two years of college
before I finished my Bachelor's and my Master's, so I
weaved tennis and sport metaphors throughout the
speech. In other words, when I'm speaking I can
individualize the metaphors to the group or
company. I was coaching a couple on their top five
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strengths and how to could use these strengths to
deepen their marriage. The husband loved golf, so I
used golf metaphors to help him better relate to his
wife. Using that language, I could see the “Aha!”
moments on his face. I have done this with race cars,
pets, cooking. Someone with Individualization is
strong at personalizing how they treat each person.
They are not fans of the one size fits all approach.
People with Individualization can use this strength to
unite a diverse team and highlight its individual
strengths and struggles to become more effective
team.. Individualizers can also help you better
understand the dynamics of the personality,
thinking, feelings, and behavior of someone that
might otherwise be difficult to understand.
Individualization can be utilized in coaching,
mentoring, speaking, teaching, and growing a
business.
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REVIEWING THE INDIVIDUALIZATION STRENGTH
º
ONE-OF-A-KIND STORIES
OBSERVES STRENGTH
FOCUSES ON UNIQUENESS
ABLE TO PERSONALIZE
TALENTED COACHES
TREATS EACH PERSON UNIQUELY
Positivity
Believe it or not, Positivity is another one of
my wife's top strengths. Now you know why I
married her—she has incredible relationship
strengths! People with Positivity are generous with
praise and love to smile. They are light-hearted,
playful, humorous, and they've got bundles of
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passion, energy, and kindness. But, don't get me
wrong—Positive people are not inherently naive—
they realize there are crises and challenges in the
world but choose to focus on what is right instead of
what is wrong. The strength of Positivity helps them
to find the good in all situations.
People with the strength of Positivity make
special events come alive. Birthdays, retirement
parties, get togethers of all sorts—Positive
individuals enjoy creating events where others laugh,
connect, share, and feel good about life. As a result,
people are drawn to individuals with Positivity.
However, people with Positivity should protect
themselves from negaholics or people who see the
mine fields instead of the flowers in the garden.
Individuals with Positivity should avoid negative
people who could potentially drain their energy.
It is important to remember that Positive
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people are not always in a “good mood.” My wife may
not be feeling great—she may have missed a few
hours of sleep and not be in the world's great mood—
but she manages to have a Positive demeanor and
doesn't bring others down despite how she is feeling.
If we are dining at a restaurant and my wife isn't
enjoying the food, she will never say it because she
doesn't want to dampen anyone else's experience.
This can be a strength and a hindrance because
Positive people may not open up and share their
hurts, challenges, or stresses, internalizing tough
emotions.
People with Positivity are not interested in
changing negative people, they prefer other Positive
people. Throw a Positive person into a room full of
negative people and they wilt. Throw them into a
room full of Positive people with Positive potential
and the Positive person will find the spark that will
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light their potential on fire.
REVIEWING THE POSITIVITY STRENGTH
º
SMILING
GENEROUS WITH PRAISE
PASSIONATE AND ENERGETIC
FOCUSED ON WHAT IS RIGHT
HELPS PEOPLE WITH SPARK
Relator
You may think of the Relator as someone who
never met a stranger. Nope. That's Woo—winning
others over. People with Woo believe that each
stranger is a friend they have yet to meet. But
Relators are selective about their relationships. They
tend to be more guarded and cautious when they
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first meet people.
Relators may not immediately come across as
relationship-oriented people because their strength
lies in-depth relationships, not shallow connections.
Relators are always looking for an excuse to get
together with their friends or their colleagues.
Genuine relationships fuel them. Relators are not
interested in job title, status, “Wow!” They are
interested in their relationship with you. Relators are
skilled at building better friendships and
relationships, not only in their families and
friendships but in the workplace, as well. It is
important for Relators to find and develop deep,
trusted friendships in the workplace. The Gallup
Poll's Well Being by Tom Rath demonstrates how
people enjoy better well being when they have at
least one good friend in the workplace. (And they
found that most people hate their boss.) So, if you
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have a great relationship with your boss, your
supervisor, or a deep, trusted friendship at work,
count yourself blessed—it will improve your well
being.
People with the Relator strength have the gift
of creating loyal, trusting, sharing relationships that
will never break. Guess what? My wife has this
strength, too. We have been married for over twenty
six years (and have known each other for twenty
eight) and I always say that any woman who put up
with me for twenty eight years has to have some
relationship abilities. I appreciate my wife's loyalty
and her strengths in our relationship. It comes from
being a Relator.
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REVIEWING THE RELATOR STRENGTH
º
SELECTIVE IN RELATIONSHIPS
GENUINE
CAUTIOUS AT FIRST
FUELED BY FRIENDS
NOT INTERESTED IN STATUS
LOYAL AND TRUSTWORTHY
DISCOVERY QUESTIONS
º
1. Which of the nine relationship building strengths
do you possess?
2. Which of the nine relationship building strengths
do you recognize as a weakness?
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3. Do any of your family or friends possess one or
more of the nine relationship building strengths?
Remember, relationship strengths are the glue
that holds teams, families, marriages, and
friendships together.
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Chapter 8
On the Road With Your Strengths
“Success is not a place at which one arrives but
rather the spirit with which one undertakes and
continues the journey.”
Alex Noble
When my wife and I stepped on a dog sled
and headed into the backwoods of Canada, I have to
admit we were both a bit leery. Though Jereme had
carefully explained the ins and outs of maneuvering a
team of dogs through Banff’s beautiful terrain, we
were cautious (my wife especially) about putting our
224
knowledge into practice. Luckily, as the driver, I
trusted the different dogs on my team, their unique
roles, and how they could each best help my wife and
I reach our destination safe and sound.
Discovering your strengths is much like
mounting a dog sled for the very first time. By now,
you have hopefully taken the StrengthsFinder 2.0
assessment and measured your top five strengths.
And, as Jereme readied my wife and I for our first
ride, I hope I have helped prepare you to start using
them—familiarizing you with how each of Gallup's
thirty four strengths fit together to produce cohesive,
efficient teams and happy, functional relationships.
Yet, the real test lies in putting your strengths to
work—mounting your sled and harnessing each of
the four domains of leadership to help you achieve
your next goal. I imagine you must feel a bit leery
(and excited).
225
One of my colleagues and a fellow strengths
ambassador has a small sign taped above her desk
which reads: “Which strengths am I going to use
today?” Looking at these words each day centers her
and helps her maintain a strengths based mindset
before setting out on the day's “journey.” Now that
you are aware of your own top five strengths, it's
time to ask yourself:
How will I harness my strengths each and every
day to help me reach my desired destination?
Discovering your strengths allows you to
begin accessing and better utilizing your many
talents and team members—the dogs on your sled—
so you can best respond to the various challenges
that await you on your route. But if you want to
become a pro like Jereme, discovering your strengths
226
is only the beginning.
Harness Your Strengths
In my work as a strengths coach, I lead my
clients through seven phases of harnessing their
strengths, which make up the basis of my Strengths
Coaching System:
Measure Your Strengths
Strengthen Your Mindset
Maximize Your Strengths
Strengthen Your Management
Monetize Your Strengths
Strengthen Your Members
Mobilize Your Strengths
In my next book, Harness Your Strengths, I
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explore each phase of the Strengths Coaching System
in depth, but to help prepare you for the next phase
of your journey, allow me to introduce you to the
basics of the seven steps:
Step #1 - Measure Your Strengths
If you are reading this book, you are well on
your way to finishing the first phase of harnessing
your strengths—measuring them—though,
measuring your top five strengths with the
StrengthsFinder 2.0 is just the tip of the iceberg.
Once you have discovered your signature strengths,
you can dig even deeper by exploring the wide array
of supplementary assessments available to help you
diversify and define the language you use for your
strengths, while also expanding the number of
practical techniques you can use to put your talents
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into practice. The VIA Survey, for example, measures
character strengths, broadening the context in which
you see and use your signature strengths. See the
appendix to this book for a complete list of
supplementary assessments.
Step #2 - Strengthen Your Mindset
Strengthening your mindset is all about
overcoming the fears and limiting beliefs associated
with harnessing your strengths as you mentally
prepare yourself for your Iditarod. My wife and I
were certainly anxious before taking our first sled
ride. We worried about getting hurt, losing control of
the sled, careening into the snowy wilderness. And,
while some of those fears were well founded, they
had a lot in common with the deficiency or weakness
based mindset most of us have developed about
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ourselves. So often, when facing a new opportunity
or challenge, we prepare for the worst. On the
precipice of closing a sales deal, planning a career
move, or angling for that next big promotion, we
assume we're going to fly off the sled and land in the
snow. And this I can't, weakness based mindset
predicts our fate. We lose control of the sled because
we're so focused on what we can't do, instead of
tapping into what we can do and finding others to
help us fill in the gaps.
A strengths based mindset, on the other hand,
prepares and focuses on what you do best.
Remember—a successful sled is led by a team of dogs
with different talents. Each individual dog plays a
valuable, yet distinct role in every trip. Were the
driver to focus on what each dog can't do or doesn't
do well, he or she would have trouble unifying the
team and staying on the trail. To successfully achieve
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your goals, you must mount your own sled with
confidence, knowing which strengths will help you
round the next bend, leaving your cant’s and don'ts
at the lodge.
Step #3 - Maximize Your Strengths
If a strengths based mindset is the foundation
you need to safely hit the trails with your signature
strengths, your speed, arrival time, and ability to
brace yourself against the inevitable bumps in the
road all depend on whether or not you are fully
maximizing—getting the most out of—your top five.
At the same time, maximizing also means striking a
balance with your strengths. (Let's leave the trail and
hit the road for a second. When you are driving with
your strengths, you ideally should be at cruising
speed, not inching or rocketing down the road. Based
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on what you know about your top five strengths, how
many miles per hour do you think you are driving
with your strengths today?)
Maximizing your strengths starts by becoming
an expert on your personal top five strengths while
seeking guidance from those who share your talents
and partnerships with people who you feel can help
you better utilize them. Make a list of resources—
books, tools, colleagues—that will deepen your
understanding of your signature strengths. Consider
joining others in a strengths mastermind group.
Commit to an attitude of lifetime learning, whether it
is through self study, coaching and/or mastermind
group work, or higher education. (In my case, I
recommend a combination of all three!)
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Step #4 - Strengthen Your Management
The next phase of harnessing your strengths is
strengthening your management—becoming a
strengths based leader. Strengths based leaders
know how to maximize their own strengths as well as
the strengths of all the members of their team so that
each individual experiences more confidence and
personal satisfaction on the job and the group as a
whole enjoys more overall productivity and
profitability (and fewer office wars). By valuing and
balancing the unique contributions of each member
of their organization, strengths based leaders create
cultures of trust and compassion instead of tension
and competition. On the trail, his strengths based
leadership skills are what make Jereme such a
successful sled guide—he knows and respects each
dog, what they do best, and their ideal partners.
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Want to be a strengths based leader? Practice
Strengthspotting—the act of using informal
questions and observations to make an educated
guess about someone's strengths. Using the SIGN
method from Chapter Two, for example, you can ask
your colleagues and team member’s questions that
give you a sense of their natural talents. With this in
mind, you can begin to adjust your leadership style
to bring out the best in every member of your team.
Step #5 - Monetize Your Strengths
The fifth phase of harnessing your strengths is
often one of the most exciting, especially for
entrepreneurs, small business owners, and executive
teams looking to use their strengths in the
workplace. Monetizing your strengths answers the
question: How can I hone my marketing message,
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get more leads, and grow my client base so I can
make more money? A strengths based marketing
and sales approach can transform a business—I've
seen it happen. I can't count the number of phone
calls and emails I've received from clients celebrating
a major sale, new position/promotion, or small
business success after tailoring their marketing
strategies and sales techniques to their top five
strengths.
In Harness Your Strengths, I take you step-
by-step through the process of making over your
marketing strategy so you and the unique benefits
you offer can really sparkle, allowing you to reach
more potential customers and close more sales.
Here's your head start. Ask yourself:
What is keeping my ideal client up at 3 AM?
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Think about how your unique combination of
strengths can help your ideal client sleep better at
night. Whatever the answer, you want your
marketing to clearly communicate how you and your
services can solve your customer's problems and add
value to their life and business. A strengths based
marketing approach gives you a language to
communicate why your special blend of strengths
makes you the best person for the job.
Step #6 - Strengthen Your Members
A strong business is based on strong
emotional loyal customer relationships. They
increase referrals and add value to your services with
positive word-of-mouth advertising and glowing
testimonials. Securing customers for keeps depends
on making authentic, natural connections with your
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signature strengths. My new friend Chip Conley,
author of PEAK: How Great Companies Get Their
Mojo from Maslow was gracious to share his top five
strengths and his vision of how his strengths helped
build Joie De Vivre Hospitality into the number one
hotel chain for customer service. The research
reveals that emotionally engaged customers pay 67%
more a year for the service they purchase from you
because they feel confidence, integrity, pride, and
passion.
Step #7 - Mobilize Your Strengths
Remember my colleague; the “strengths
ambassador” with the phrase “What strengths am I
going to use today?” taped above her desk? Having
weaved strengths through the various areas of her
life, my colleague has now graduated to being a
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strengths model—an “ambassador” as I like to call
her—building the strengths culture around her by
using her strengths each and every day. The pinnacle
of the strengths coaching system is mobilizing your
strengths to work, to marriage, to parenting,
education, medicine, and eventually the nations. My
dream is to train 10,000 strengths ambassadors
mobilizing strengths around the world.
Harnessing your strengths is a lifestyle, a
string of flags on a map, not a single destination.
With each trip—each goal—we refine our strengths
style, gradually turning into leaders like Jereme who
will one day pass the torch, modeling his strengths
for a new generation of guides. In my own life, my
strengths are always taking me higher and helping
me trek further into the future, making me a better
mentor and model both for my coaching clients as
well as those I love.
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Taking the Next Step
Congratulations, you have discovered your
strengths. On the road, they are the keys to your car.
On the trail, they are the dogs on your team. In your
life, they are the building blocks of your success. Now
that you have discovered your unique set of talents,
you can take the reins and start to steer your life in
the direction of your dreams. So, what are you
waiting for? It's time to harness your strengths.
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