discovering god's will in our lives the saints show us the way a companion study guide

Discovering God’s Will in Our Lives The Saints Show Us the Way

A Companion Study Guide

By Julie Onderko

Available from:

CATHOLIC FINISH STRONG P.O. Box 68273

Milwaukie, OR 97268 www.CatholicFinishStrong.org

© CATHOLIC FINISH STRONG 2013

A Note of Thanks Without the support of my dear husband, Tom, there would be no apostolate named CATHOLIC FINISH STRONG, or this book. I simply could not have done any of this without him. Tom makes working in the apostolate possible for me. What a blessing he is in my life! Father Giles Dimock, O.P. also deserves thanks and gratitude. When CATHOLIC FINISH STRONG was only an idea I was discerning, Father Giles said, “Cast your bread upon the water and see what bites.” The fact that he took the idea seriously and thought I should proceed by testing—well, nothing would have happened without his direction. This dedicated Dominican priest is the Spiritual Advisor—a spiritual safety net—for the apostolate, and I am grateful. I have many incredible friends in this journey, but concerning this book specifically I must make special mention of Steve Timm. His willingness to spend hours editing my words is invaluable to me. There’s an assurance that comes when you know that someone’s got your back. That’s Steve. There are dozens of people that have been especially supportive. In listing them here, I run the risk of forgetting someone. So I will pass on it. But you know who you are and I love you all.

Contents

Seeking God’s Will Page 4 Finding God’s Will When it Doesn’t Make Sense Page 10 The Conversion of Saint Ignatius of Loyola Page 19 When God Changes Our Plans Page 26 First Things First Page 37 Spiritual Direction Page 43 The Virgin Mary & Our Mission Page 50 Saint Helena: Queen of Dysfunction? Page 55 Going Into the Father’s Vineyard at Any Hour Page 72 Our Mission From God Page 82

Seeking God’s Will What is the defining question of our lives? It is simply this, “Lord, what do you want me to do?” (CCC 2706) How often are children asked, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” On the surface, there’s nothing wrong in asking that question. However, this type of inquiry implies that the child should decide based on his or her “wants.” This inference continues with subsequent questions as we move through the different phases of life … “What do you want to do when you graduate?” or “What are your plans for retirement?” The real adventure in life is discovering what God has in mind for each of us at all the different phases of life. Going to God and asking Him, “Lord, what do you want me to do now?” is the all-important question. This is our time in history. We exist now because it is best for us and for others. Period. Perhaps we have messed up God’s plan for us? Perhaps we are on the wrong path. Maybe God had religious life in mind for us, but we didn’t listen and got married instead. Perhaps God had a certain job in mind for us that would use our abilities and talents to further His kingdom on earth, but we did other things. Maybe we ignored God altogether and lived a very self-centered sin-filled life. No worries! Think of a Global Positioning System (GPS). If we don’t follow the instructions, the GPS system keeps recalibrating to lead us to our original destination. It doesn’t send us back to the beginning to start all over. We don’t travel the roads that we have passed up. Rather, the GPS sends us to our destination from where we currently stand. That is how it is with God but infinitely better. God can redeem our past. It is quite mysterious how God can take any terrible thing and make something far more beautiful out of it than we could have imagined. Think of the fall of mankind in the Garden of Eden? Now that was a horrible derailment from God’s plan and yet when God restored the human family, we find ourselves far better off than our first parents. We get to be in the Body of Christ, we get to share in the family of God by a radical change in our nature that actually divinizes us! We may not see it in our earthly lifetimes, we may not

understand it, but when we give our past sins, mistakes, and regrets to God and follow His will, He will take care of all those regrets. God has placed us in this challenging day and time for a reason. We could not be in a better place or a better time for our souls than right where we are now—that may be difficult to believe, but remember while our perspective in limited, God’s perspective is eternal. Given this understanding, what is our response? Are we going to allow the expectations of others to write the story of our lives or are we going to seek God’s will? He does have a particular mission for each of us, one that is perfectly suited to our personality, situation, and history. As human beings, we are often fearful of the very thing that will bring us peace and courage. It doesn’t make sense to fear God’s Will for us. Relinquishing the power to control our lives and giving it over to the one who knows us better than we know ourselves, the one who has all the answers, and the one who is most capable, makes perfect sense. And still we are afraid. But in reality, we are most free and most human when we are squarely in God’s will. That abandonment to God’s purpose and the required trust in Him and His plan, is as freeing as it can get on this earth. If we want peace, that is the way to get it.

Pondering Do I really believe that God can redeem my past? What areas of my life do I have trouble giving up to God? Do I have control issues? Have I let the expectations of others determine the decisions I have made? Have I asked God lately, “What is my current mission?” or “Lord, what do you want me to do?”

Prayer Lord, thank you for your beautiful Church which enables me to be in relationship with you. Please give me the courage to do those things necessary for my salvation. Lord, I acknowledge that my life belongs to you and that I was created to serve you, love you and be with you for all eternity. Please show me your Will for my life. AMEN

Personal Notes

Resources

My Other Self: Conversations With Christ On Living Your Faith by Clarence J Enzler (author of Everyone’s Way of the Cross) is about as good as it gets—a truly inspired work. A real spiritual treasure, it is written in the first person with Jesus speaking directly to the individual reader. Out of print for decades, it was republished by Ave Maria Press in 2010 with an added forward by Father Benedict Groeschel, C.F.R.

“I do not desire to die more than to live; it is what He does that I love.” These words, spoken by St. Thérèse of Lisieux while she lay dying, reveal a young woman who preferred God’s Will to everything else.

Finding God’s Will When it Doesn’t Make Sense Ambitious and conflicted—that was Thérèse of Lisieux—for a while. Her discernment process in finding God’s special mission for her was frustrating. She wanted to be everything for Jesus, but could not accomplish some of the simplest tasks in daily life. When reading sections of her prayer to Jesus, we see that she struggles to figure out this mysterious incompatibility, “...No doubt, those three privileges are my vocation—Carmelite, Bride, and Mother (mother of souls)—but I feel within myself other vocations. I feel the vocation of Warrior, Priest, Apostle, Teacher, Martyr. In short, I feel the need and the desire to accomplish for You, Jesus, all the most heroic works...I feel in my soul the courage of a Crusader, of a soldier in the papal army; I would like to die on the field of battle for the defense of the Church...” “I feel within me the vocation of Priest. With what love, Jesus, would I bear You in my hands when, at the sound of my voice, You would come down from heaven...With what love would I give You to souls!...” Thérèse is honest with Jesus and does not accuse herself of sin for her desires and daydreams which, on face value, are impossible. Rather she trusts that these desires must be from God and therefore, there was an answer for her. She continues, “Oh! In spite of my littleness, I would like to shed light on souls like the Prophets, the Doctors. I have the vocation to be an Apostle...I would like to travel across the world, preach Your name, and plant Your glorious Cross on the soil of unbelievers. But, my Beloved, a single mission wouldn’t be enough for me. I would at the same time like to preach the gospel in five parts of the world and as far as the remotest islands (Isa. 66:19)...I would like to be a missionary, not only for a few years, but I would like to have been one since the creation of the world and be one until the end of the ages...But above all, my Beloved Savior, I would like to shed my blood for You until the last drop...” She goes on about her desired martyrdom, then asks Jesus, “To all my foolishness, what are You going to reply?...Is there a soul that is smaller and more powerless than mine!”i

Surprised? I was when I first read that.

A Little Background Thérèse Martin was born in Alençon, France on January 2, 1873. She was fortunate to grow up in a very pious family. Her childhood, although idyllic in many ways, was not without hardship. Her mother died when she was four years old and she suffered terribly when her older sister Pauline (who had become like a mother to her) left home to enter the Carmelite convent of Lisieux. Thérèse was very close to her father; affectionately she named him her king and he called her his queen. Being the youngest, her sisters doted on her, doing those things for her that most children do for themselves, such as combing her hair. In many ways Thérèse was spoiled. She was not expected to do some of the basic tasks of daily life such as sweeping or dusting. She received permission to enter the cloistered Carmelite Convent of Lisieux at the age of fifteen. Thérèse died of tuberculosis when she was only twenty-four years old. No one but her family, a few friends, and the nuns in the convent knew her. How is it, that except for the Virgin Mary, she is one of the most popular saint of all time? Thousands of miracles are attested to her. This young Carmelite nun has a fiercely loyal world-wide following.

Personal Encounters

When it came to Thérèse, at first I didn’t “get it.” She seemed too sheltered, too sweet, too naive to handle anything I might send her way. For me, there was just no common ground until I dug a little deeper. I came to understood that a genuine desire and ability to love (and therefore help) anyone is not predicated on having had experiences like theirs. Thérèse is tough; I found her to be the go-to gal. Before I realized how popular and loved she was, in my naïvety, I thought I was her project—I received (though not always) portraits and pictures of her as confirmations. Her prayers on my behalf were obvious.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alen%C3%A7on

It wasn’t long before I discovered that this was typical for everyone who seeks her intercession—only generally, supplicants receive roses.

The Answer

The answer to Thérèse’s conflict—her pleading with Jesus “To all my foolishness, what are You going to reply?” was found in the Scriptures. She rightfully took it literally when she read, “But earnestly desire the higher gifts. And I will show you a still more excellent way.” (1 Cor 12:31) She continued reading and found the “more excellent way” in St. Paul’s discourse on love in Chapter 13. Her vocation was love. Now it all made sense! It’s love that compels the missionary to travel to distant lands, leaving family, country, and friends behind. It is love that fortifies the martyr, when spilling his blood for Christ. Love is what leads a man to the priesthood. Love for souls inspires the preacher to preach and the teacher to teach. Love is required in Body of Christ, enabling each of the members to carry out their respective missions. Love is the glue of The Church. This was her answer—delivered with the clarity and power of a lightning bolt. Thérèse would be the love that undergirds the priest, the missionary, the teacher, the doctor, the martyr, and the warrior. She would be all things for Jesus, through her participation in The Mystical Body of Christ.

The Little Way

Just how would The Little Flower be love? In a practical sense, how does this happen? For example, we might wonder how the love from Saint Thérèse is utilized for the missionary or the teacher? It sounds a bit abstract and far-fetched. In a prayer to Jesus, we see her strategy, “…I have no other means of proving my love for You then to throw flowers, that is, not to pass up any little sacrifice, and look, any word, to take advantage of all the little things and to do them out of love…” Her life, everything she did, was with love and for love of Jesus. She was kind to the sisters she didn’t really like and she did not complain about her food, even when she was served the worst leftovers.

She did not defend herself when falsely accused and she made a point to offer all her sufferings to Jesus with love. No one realized what she was doing or how much it personally cost her to suffer these secret humiliations. It is summed up beautifully by Thérèse’s namesake, Blessed Mother Teresa, “Do ordinary things with extraordinary love.”

Loving God’s Will Above All

Thérèse preferred God’s Will to all else. Her degree of unity was such that she wanted only what Jesus wanted. It is remarkable to think that many of the nuns in the convent were clueless to her sanctity.ii No one knew. God’s Will in our lives—our mission—sometimes is a very private affair. It may appear that nothing supernatural is happening when spiritual battles are waged and souls won for God; but He knows. What if our mission is to be a prayer warrior and spend much of our time interceding on behalf of others? That is not going to be obvious to others. What if God has asked us to unite our sufferings with His to save souls? And no one is the wiser, except the grateful souls who receive the benefit of those sacrifices. Thérèse suffered tremendously before dying of tuberculosis. She slowly suffocated over almost two months, her limbs were swollen and purple, she spit up blood, perspired profusely and eventually was unable to receive the Blessed Sacrament. She remarked that it was much more difficult than she had ever imagined. At the end, she would endure attacks from the devil, “I don’t know what cursed voice was saying to me, ‘Are you sure you are loved of God? Has He come to tell you so? It’s not the opinion of a handful of people that will justify you before Him?’” How terrible it was to be tormented this way. One night she begged one of the sisters to sprinkle holy water over her, “The devil is around me. I can’t see him, but I feel him…” Sometimes the sisters would romanticize her impending death and suggest ideas like, “wouldn’t it be nice if Thérèse received Communion and then died?” Thérèse would correct such suggestions making sure it was understood that she wanted only the Will of Jesus. He would determine how she would die and she would not ask that it be any other

way. How many of us love the Will of God, no matter what it is?

Spending Her Heaven on Earth Before dying, Thérèse spoke these prophetic words, “I feel that my mission is going to begin, my mission to cause the Good Lord to be loved as I love Him…to give my little way to souls. I WANT TO SPEND MY HEAVEN DOING GOOD ON EARTH.” And that is exactly what has happened. Earlier the question was posed, “How is it, that except for the Virgin Mary, she is probably the most popular saint of all time?” She was virtually unknown by anyone but her family and the Carmelite nuns of Lisieux? The Saint Thérèse phenomenon is proof that she has indeed, spent her Heaven doing good on earth. Her devotees are all-too-ready to share their personal stories and make an enthusiastic recommendation of her to any needy soul. “The greatest saint of modern times" is what Pope Pius X said of Thérèse. She was canonized in 1925 and two years later, she was declared co-patron of the missions with Francis Xavier. She was also declared co-patron of France with Joan of Arc, one of her favorite saints. Possibly most significant is her declaration as the thirty-third Doctor of the Church by Pope John Paul II in 1997. It’s quite obvious that after passing from this world, Thérèse went right to work. Her mission “…to give my little way to souls,” continues. We can and should solicit her help for the Glory of God. After all, she told us she would not rest until “Time is no more.” i From the autobiography of Thérèse of Lisieux, The Story of a Soul, Chapter 9, My Vocation, Love. ii Her biological sisters did realize there was something special going on with Thérèse, her sister Pauline asked that she write her biography and write about her “little doctrine.”

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Francis_Xavier

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joan_of_Arc

Pondering Thérèse was conflicted between the desires of her heart (which she was sure were put there by God), and her inability to accomplish them. Yet she persevered in prayer and study, searching for the answer, until Jesus revealed it to her. Have I asked the Lord to show me my mission from Him? Do I refuse what I don’t like and insist on searching for an answer that I do like? Do I grow discouraged when I don’t get the answer right away? Thérèse loved the Will of God, no matter what it meant in her life—joys or sufferings. Do I love the Will of God no matter what it means? What areas of my life do I need to surrender to His Will. God has the master plan; He is after all, the master architect. He has the eternal perspective, He knows all things, and He is outside of time. Even though we know this, in our humanity, it can at times, be difficult to trust Him. Do I have trouble trusting God? What areas of my life do I need to surrender Him?

Prayer

A simple and easy-to-remember novena imploring the intercession of St. Thérèse of Lisieux

Make the Sign of the Cross then humbling make your prayer request. Pray The Glory Be followed by these words, “St. Thérèse of the Child Jesus, pray for us.” Do this twenty-four times in honor of her twenty-four years of life on earth. Repeat each day for nine days.

Be attentive.

She may send you roses.

Personal Notes

Resources

Story of a Soul is the autobiography of St. Thérèse. If the emotional and child-like language tempts you to put it down, resist the impulse! This book has a depth that will challenge any reader—even the most sophisticated. It’s a privilege to get to know The Little Flower through her own words. For those who prefer to listen rather than read, Surrendered to Love, the Wisdom of Thérèse of Lisieux is an outstanding 6 CD set presented by Ralph Martin of Renewal Ministries. PO Box 1426, Ann Arbor, MI 48106 734-662-1730 www.RenewalMinistries.net For anyone who loves to read true short stories, Shower of Heavenly Roses, Stories of the Intercession of St. Thérèse of Lisieux is captivating. Author Elizabeth Ficocelli has gathered a wide variety narratives from people who have been helped by the intercession of The Little Flower.

St. Francis de Sales delivers a timeless message in Finding God's Will For You. Published by Sophia Institute Press in 1998, this book is both thought provoking and practical. Although small (less than 150 pages) it's not a quick read -- there is much to ponder.

http://www.renewalministries.net/

God doesn’t need our perfection, our planning, our money or our talents. He doesn’t need or want anything we have to offer, except our fiat—our “yes.” The journey that leads our “yes” to God’ Will in our lives, is as individual as we are. We may find that journey to be a challenge, but Our Lord always does the most loving thing—whatever it takes.

The Conversion of Ignatius of Loyola A career military soldier for early 16th century Spain, Ignatius of Loyola would be forever impacted defending the Citadel of Pamplona. During this battle with the French, he was stuck by a cannon ball, badly breaking one leg and injuring the other. When he went down, his garrison surrendered. Ignatius was admired and respected not only by his men, but also by his French victors. French field-doctors nursed him for about two weeks and then transported him by stretcher (a ten-day journey across rugged terrain) to one of his family’s holdings, a Castle at Loyola. During his convalescence, which lasted almost a year, Ignatius suffered a great deal. His battle injury required re-breaking and resetting his leg two more times—all without anesthesia. The third “butchery,” as he called it, was done for vain reasons, “…one bone below the knee remained on top of another, shortening his leg. The bone protruded…and ugly sight. He, (Ignatius wrote his autobiography, oddly, in the third person), was unable to abide it because he was determined to follow the world and he thought that it would deform him.”i Ignatius wasn’t exaggerating about his vanity, worldliness and pride. During all three surgeries, one the battlefield and two at the castle, “he never spoke a word nor showed any sign of pain other than to clench his fists.”i

These details are important if we are to grasp the drastic change that was required of Ignatius when he gave his fidelity wholeheartedly to God. This quality of single-mindedness, his ambitious nature and his tenacity—when channeled in God’s direction—would impact the world for centuries to come.

After enduring these excruciating procedures, a razor-thin brush with death and futile efforts to stretch his leg, he was left with a permanent limp. Ignatius had always been an active man, embracing life to its fullest. Extravagant about his dress and the quest for glory, Ignatius admits to self-gratifying pursuits. “…he was a man given over to vanities of the world; with great and vain desire to win fame he delighted especially in the exercise of arms.”i To be confined to a bed, being totally dependent on others, must have been the worst of the torments he endured. That he would have preferred the chivalrous romantic novels of his day to pass the time and distract his mind, is an understatement. Oh for a good diversion! But only two books were to be found in the Castle of Loyola during his recovery: one on the life of Christ and another on the lives of the saints. These two books he read many times, resulting in a complete and total conversion. What if a huge library of novels had been available to Ignatius? What would have happened then? The two supplied books were absolutely pivotal to his conversion—and there was nothing else competing for his attention. We can see how important it is to have good materials available to us. But, not only that, there are priceless benefits to removing those distractions which lead us away from God. Ignatius left the Castle of Loyola a changed man. During those endless hours of recovery, he had discerned—through prayer, study, and using his imagination—that he would become a soldier of the Catholic Faith.

Letting Nothing Circumvent Following God’s Will Once Ignatius gave his allegiance totally to the Lord, he followed the Divine Will, even into the most humbling of circumstances. Picture a classroom full of young boys with one older man, a fellow student, sitting among them. They are all learning Latin together. At 37 years of age, Ignatius “was found to be deficient in fundamentals.”i If he were to become a priest, it was imperative that he learn Latin. He was penniless, begged for the food he ate, but somehow

Ignatius managed to acquire the necessary education, even when it obliged him to … go back to grade school. It’s a good thing that Ignatius didn’t say, “Well, all I know is soldiering, I’m in my thirties now (equivalent to being in his 50’s today), and it’s too late to start all over in life. I am not healthy; I’ve got a very bad limp and I have stomach troubles.” There were many legitimate reasons why Ignatius might have questioned the path that God chose for him. But here again, we see, his intensity, with which he was known to have focused on his pursuits. Only now, he was pursuing God.

Our Lives = Our Formation Ignatius utilized his military experience and leadership skills when he founded The Society of Jesus—the Jesuits. He had learned from his life as a soldier and he employed those lessons to the disciplines he developed for his order. For instance, his advice to “divide and conquer,” when applied to our struggle with sin, is derived from his military background. All of our life experiences can be placed in the service of the Lord: our mistakes, our careers, our relationships—everything. Our pasts—no matter how sheltered or colorful—are a big part of our formation. Ignatius’ temperament, his personality traits, his experiences and his physical abilities all, in some way, contributed to his God-given mission. It’s the same for us. In the Economy of Salvation, God wastes nothing. iAll quotes of St. Ignatius are from Joseph O’Callaghan, translator, the Autobiography of St. Ignatius Loyola, Harper Torchbooks, New York, 1974.

Pondering Only two books were to be found in the Castle of Loyola during Ignatius’ recovery: one on the life of Christ and another on the lives of the saints. He read these two books many times, resulting in his complete and total conversion. What do I read, watch, and listen to? Do these things lead me towards God or are they distractions? Picture a classroom full of young boys with one older man, a fellow student, (Ignatius), sitting among them. They are all learning Latin together. In following God’s designs for my life, am I willing to be humbled or look silly? Am I too proud to do some things or be in the company of certain people? All of our life experiences can be placed in the service of the Lord: our mistakes, our careers, our relationships—everything. Our pasts—no matter how sheltered or colorful—are a big part of our formation. Have I thought and prayed about my life experiences? Could it be that God is preparing me for something?

Prayer

Surrender by Saint Ignatius of Loyola

Take, O Lord, and receive my entire liberty, my memory, my understanding and my whole will.

All that I am and all that I possess You have given me: I surrender it all to You to be disposed of according to Your will.

Give me only Your love and Your grace; with these I will be rich enough,

and will desire nothing more.

Personal Notes

Resources

I highly recommend The Autobiography of St. Ignatius Loyola. It has been republished over the years by different publishing houses. Used or new editions can be found at most major book-sellers. Ignatius wrote of himself in the third person—as if he were a spectator telling his story. It’s not long and extremely insightful and inspirational. The Golden Thread: A Novel about St. Ignatius Loyola by Louis de Wohl is another book I enthusiastically recommend—especially for people who like a good story. With this excellent work, we are not only transported to 16th century Spain, but more importantly, we get to the heart of St. Ignatius of Loyola. Available at most major book-sellers.

God is the best strategist. He places people in our lives just when we need them. That is how I feel about Joaquin Duenas. God orchestrated a friendship at a time, which for both of us proved to be pivotal—we were both realizing that God had a future in mind that wasn’t at all like we each had planned. What a gift it was to find another person travelling a similar road of discovery in seeking God’s Will. Mine was the establishment of Catholic Finish Strong. This would mean substantial changes to what my husband and I had envisioned for our “empty nest” years and the retirement that would eventually follow. We would not benefit from my income and all that it could mean—I would go into full-time non-profit ministry. With the uncertainty of moving into completely unknown territory comes a peace in realizing that the best place to be is in God’s Will, trusting in His direction. When Joaquin and I met, he was learning just how radical the Lord was asking him to live. His call, similar to Mother Theresa’s, was to divest himself of worldly possession and serve the poor, living among them. Well-meaning friends and family were concerned about what appeared to be rash and quickly made decisions. However, there was nothing “rash” about it; Joaquin had been journeying with Jesus ever since he began his weekly visits to the Adoration Chapel. The culmination of his discernment process, which lasted quite a few years, was his decision to serve the poor along-side the Missionaries of Charity in Calcutta India. His story follows.

When God Changes Our Plans Joaquin Duenas stood at the entrance of the alley and watched as three women approached a couple of teenage girls who were making themselves available for a nights work on one of the Filipino streets in Cebu City. The approaching women, young and dressed in street clothes, are nuns incognito. They are working tonight too: rescuing street girls from a life of prostitution. What brought Joaquin, a 59 year old retired supervisor with the US Army Corps of Engineers to this place at this point in time? He had the means and the plans for retirement but here he was, with the Sisters of Immaculate Mary Queen of Heaven Missionaries. It had certainly been a remarkable journey–the kind that can only be orchestrated by God.

Going against the culture of the day can be unsettling. After all, in modern society people are continually conditioned with certain expectations for retirement. And it was no different for Joaquin. He planned to live a simple and comfortable life in the tropics. But he couldn’t go through with it. “Throughout my life I developed a love and desire for missionary work,” explains Joaquin, and he believes that serving the poor is his calling from the Lord.

God Prepares Joaquin In 2004 Joaquin went to Iraq with Army Corps of Engineers. In this post-911 environment, civilian travel and contact with local people was possible in conjunction with the US military. “We cooperated with the military doing reconstruction and humanitarian work,” Joaquin remembers. “We visited people in the rural areas where there was no water and no plumbing. I liked helping in this environment, it was very simple.” Co-workers often noticed that Joaquin was at ease in the dangerous environment with explosions nearby and the graphic realities of war all around them. They would go to him for spiritual advice and often ask, “Why aren’t you afraid?” But Joaquin wasn’t fearful. The questions were an opportunity to share his Faith. “One time when I was in Iraq, I met an American airman at Mass and I felt God wanted me to speak to him and ask him if he’s considered being a priest.” That man will be ordained in a year. “Sometimes you have to get over your fears and respond when the Holy Spirit moves you,” explains Joaquin. When his 6 month tour ended, the local governments, through the proper military channels, requested that Joaquin stay; he had obviously earned the trust of the Iraqi people. The initial 6 months grew into almost 4 years. Extensions were offered past 2007 but Joaquin felt that it was time to leave the Corps and serve the Church.

Quiet Time with the Lord is Essential Knowing God’s will for one’s life isn’t always clear. Joaquin emphasizes the need for quiet prayer, “I highly encourage people to find

a place without distractions to be with God. Without quiet time, even if God is calling you, you may not hear him.” And Joaquin does just that, “I get all my marching orders in front of the Blessed Sacrament during Adoration.” Trusted friends and priests suggested that he might have a vocation to the diaconate or the priesthood. The discernment process proved otherwise, “I knew I should start working with the missions now! Not go through the years of preparation for religious life.” Joaquin could see the vast potential for priests coming from mission territories and realized that his work with the poor would be far more fruitful for the priesthood, “I could see that even though I am not a priest, there are going to be a lot of priests coming out of the Philippines and also Africa.” Joaquin remembers the evening after he withdrew his name from the diaconate program, “I had been praying and I knew I was called to missionary work so I was searching for a mission on the Internet.” There were no shortages of worthwhile causes but it was late and he decided to finish the next day.

A Call to the Missions “God put the answer right in front of me,” Joaquin recalls. He was sacristan at Christ the King (his local parish in Milwaukie Oregon) for Mass the following morning. Sister Isabel Alontago MQHM was there as a guest from the Philippines to speak to the parishioners about Immaculate Mary Queen of Heaven Missionaries, “As I was heading back to the sacristy from the Sanctuary, Sister Isabel entered the church.” Joaquin remembers. The mother superior approved Joaquin’s request to visit. “I wanted to see how they do everything,” he recalls. During his 21 day trip, Joaquin learned as much as he could about the order and their work. He investigated all three of their missions and went out at night to observe exactly what occurs on the streets. Although the Philippines are devoutly Catholic, there is a sex-trade perpetrated by many foreigners and locals on the poorest children. It is a sharp contrast, Joaquin explains, “There are lots of Catholics, for instance at Santo Rosario there are 10 to 12 Masses each day with standing room

only especially on Sunday Masses. But I wanted to see exactly what goes on at night and I saw new people and new faces coming out, lots of men that are not locals.” The poverty drives the children to the streets and they run after people to get money, “this is the beginning of how they become prostitutes,” he explains. Joaquin was impressed by the sisters. “They go out on weekends dressed in street clothes and with a driver. Their job is to try to convince prostitutes to come with them to the Home of Love Shelter.” The rescued women and girls are rehabilitated, live in community, and receive job-skills training. If they are mothers, their children come too and are educated by the sisters. The women stay until they become self-sufficient. Miraculous is the only word to describe what Joaquin observed; “Out of all the women they have rescued, only one has run away.” At the end of his stay, the mother superior asked Joaquin, “Now that you have seen everything that we do, do you still want to help us in our cause?” Of course he did. They both agreed that the best way Joaquin could help was to represent Immaculate Mary Queen of Heaven Missionaries in the United States, educating people about the work of the Sisters, recruiting sponsors for women and children, and collecting funds for current expenses and a much needed future expansion. Thinking about the journey, Joaquin reminisces. “God always opens and closes the doors to show me the way.” When returning to the U.S. Joaquin took a few days diversion to see his family in Guam and Saipan. Here he had a most unusual encounter in an airport. A man approached him and the exchange went like this; “Sir I was sitting two seats behind you and I couldn’t really understand what you were saying but I want to tell you that whatever you are doing, keep doing it!” Joaquin asked incredulously, “Sir if you couldn’t understand what I was saying, why would you tell me that?” The reply, “Because I know you should continue so please continue.” Joaquin asked the man his name, but he said it wasn’t important. Joaquin thanked him, and they departed. When his family visit was over, Joaquin was once again waiting for a flight but this time he was in a different airport and it was 4:00 AM. The same man approached him and greeted, “I am happy to see you.” Surprised Joaquin replied, “Sir, I am happy to see you too.” The man

repeated his initial message, “I want you to continue whatever it is you are doing.” Then he walked on. “God doesn’t have to keep giving me signs,” Joaquin muses, “I would do it anyway. But for me, it tells me that He really knows me.”

A Call to India As time went on, the call to divest himself of his possessions, to relinquish his plans for his future retirement, and to personally serve the poor became much clearer to Joaquin. To this point, he had investigated, visited, and served the impoverished in the Congo and the Philippines but in both areas, monetary support was needed, not his physical presence. Knowing that God was asking him to serve the poor personally, living among them, he continued praying for further direction. Additional signs were given and Joaquin came to realize that he needed to volunteer with Mother Theresa’s Missionaries of Charity. In Calcutta where he has spent several months and is planning to return for long-term service, Joaquin works alongside the Sisters with the outcasts of society and the destitute. “I am so happy,” he says. It is evident in Joaquin’s countenance. In determining his long-term calling, the sisters sent him back to the United States for a period of at least four months; there is after all, a process of discernment that must be respected. However, Joaquin feels very sure that he belongs with the Sisters of Charity in Calcutta, India and will be returning soon, very likely by the time this work is in print. Why is Calcutta different for him than the Philippines and the Congo? In Calcutta Joaquin’s physical presence (or that of any volunteer) is required if the poor are to be served. Volunteers daily nurse, teach, clean, and feed the people who are in such desperate need. There is a tremendous “labor shortage” which is not the case for many other missions such as the Sisters of Immaculate Mary Queen of Heaven who really need monetary donations but have enough nuns and local people to get the work done. The same is true for the Congo; they need money, food, medical supplies but they don’t require Joaquin to live there and help. However, in Calcutta he, and all the volunteers, are sorely needed.

The sisters of the Missionaries of Charity are spread terribly thin with the overwhelming workload. Most often they do not have time to hold the children that so desperately want the affection! Joaquin says that the children love to be held and when he holds them they often only want to look into his eyes or enjoy simple communications like one would talk to a baby. They enjoy being pulled close to another human being as they are in their cribs for hours. If Joaquin tires or his arm falls asleep he does not move that child who wants his embrace. “They love to be held,” he says, “and the sisters have too much to do.” How sad is that? The list goes on and on with many more examples of the labor shortage. There is no replacement for the presence of a caring human touch. Where the Missionaries of Charity are concerned, volunteers are a necessity. Having experienced this painful shortage of help first-hand, Joaquin has made a point to encourage people who have a heart for the poor to consider taking time to serve with the Missionaries of Charity who are stationed throughout the world. It doesn’t have to be a life-long commitment. Anyone can go for any length of time. College students help during school breaks and working people use their vacation time. The Missionaries of Charity’s website is simple and clear. Search the Internet and it will pop up. Volunteers make their own travel and housing arrangements; in Calcutta it is extremely affordable. They meet with the sisters and then decide where they want to serve and report daily. For Joaquin, this was a perfect set-up. The Discernment Process: We Don’t Always Get it Right the First Time When Saint Francis of Assisi heard the Lord tell him in a dream, “Rebuild My Church,” Francis set about rebuilding the physical church at San Damiano. That isn’t exactly what the Lord meant, and Francis figured it out in time. When Saint Maximilian Kolbe realized that he should be a soldier under the Virgin Mary’s leadership, he prepared to leave the seminary and join the military. He didn’t understand yet, that he should be a under Mary’s leadership in a spiritual battle for souls which would require his priesthood and the formation of The Militia of the

Immaculata (Mary’s Army). Like Francis of Assisi, Maximilian Kolbe figured it out too. It’s the same for all of us. We often partly understand what our mission from God is, and end up getting there in a round-a-bout way. But we do get there because we keep our eyes on Christ, we keep praying, searching, and being open to what God has to show us. The same has been true for Joaquin. He thoroughly investigated the missions that he thought would be his “home,” but in time he realized that his calling is to serve the poor with the Missionaries of Charity in Calcutta, India.

An Opportunity to Evangelize “Many years ago I did ask the Holy Spirit to send me anyone who wants to know more about our Faith,” says Joaquin, “and I found that there’s a lot of evangelization to do in Calcutta too.” He reports that “many volunteers are not Catholics and some are interested in learning more about it, probably from the example of Mother Theresa and the sisters”. He adds “people go to Calcutta to help the poor but they are also searching for something, they are searching for God.”

Pondering

“Make time for Jesus only. The Holy Spirit’s hands are always extended out to us so we can hold on tight and follow His lead in doing God’s will. Make the Holy Spirit your closest friend. Always remember that even Our Lord made time to get away from everyone and everything to pray.” Joaquin Duenas (the following quotes as well) What priority do I give to time with Jesus? Where can I find quiet time with God on a regular basis? “The Lord knows there are many distractions in our lives. Unfortunately many of our distractions are of our own making. We carry many different electronic gadgets with us all the time, smart phones, cell phones, beepers, etc. Many of us believe we cannot live without them. Blessed Teresa knew that she never needed any electronic gadget because she had everything she needed, JESUS.” Are there distracting devices in my life that I feel I cannot live without? What things prevent my prayer time with Jesus? “We just need to focus on one thing – DOING GOD’s WILL.” What am I primarily focused on? Do I need to make any changes?

Prayer

Official Novena to Blessed Teresa of Calcutta Prayed each day of a nine day Novena

Blessed Teresa of Calcutta,

You allowed the thirsting love of Jesus on the Cross to become a living flame within you,

and so became the light of His love to all. Obtain from the Heart of Jesus (here make your request).

Teach me to allow Jesus to penetrate and possess my whole being so completely

that my life, too, may radiate His light and love to others. Amen.

Immaculate Heart of Mary, Cause of Our Joy, pray for me. Blessed Teresa of Calcutta, pray for me.

“Jesus is my All in All”

Personal Notes

Resources

Come and See: A Photojournalist’s Journey into the World of Mother Theresa by Linda Schaefer is Joaquin’s recommended reading. From wealth and glamour New York style, to the slums of Calcutta as a volunteer with Mother Theresa and her sisters, Lorna Kelly gives a life-transforming account of her incredible journey. The Camel Knows the Way by Lorna Kelly is insightful, honest, sobering, and inspiring. The Hour that Makes My Day is a chapter out of Fulton Sheen’s (now Venerable) autobiography, Treasure in Clay. Although the entire book is wonderful, this particular chapter explains why Fulton Sheen, on the day of his ordination to the priesthood, made the commitment to spend an hour in the presence of the Blessed Sacrament every day no matter what. Discover why quiet prayer time is the essential ingredient for each of us in living out God’s mission. The Hour that Makes My Day can be found electronically (and free) by doing a search on the Internet.

Joaquin Duenas will return to India in October 2013. From there he will send updates to Catholic Finish Strong, sharing his experiences serving with the Missionaries of Charity. We hope to launch his blog later in October 2013. There will be a link at www.CatholicFinishStrong.org

http://www.catholicfinishstrong.org/

First Things First

From the revised 1941 edition of The Baltimore Catechism, we learn about God’s Will for all people: God made us to show forth His goodness and to share with us His everlasting happiness in heaven. If we desire His Will, we need to follow Jesus’ authority on earth—The One, Holy, Catholic, and Apostolic Church. In our current, everybody’s-going-to-Heaven, culture, that reality can get cast aside or watered-down—even as we pursue our mission. It’s human nature to get excited about something new. But even if it’s religious, any good thing can get out of balance, displacing what we ought to be doing. Pope John Paul II warned us about “the temptation of being so strongly interested in Church services and tasks that some fail to become actively engaged in their responsibilities in the professional, social, cultural and political world.”i

In discerning our mission, there is the danger of becoming self absorbed. But no worries, if we do it God’s way, he’ll show us His Will while we focus on others. There are some things that God expects of each and every one of us: required things. Really required, like we can’t get into Heaven without them. These expectations are quite often, an indispensable part of the journey that leads to our mission. Before him will be gathered all the nations, and he will separate them one from another as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats, and he will place the sheep at his right hand, but the goats at the left. Then the King will say to those at his right hand, ‘Come, O blessed of my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world; for I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me, I was naked and you clothed me, I was sick and you visited me, I was in prison and you came to me. (Matt 25:32-36) What happens to the goats? Jesus tells them …Depart from me, you cursed, into the eternal fire, prepared for the devil and his angels. (Matt 25:41) Why? Because they did not minister to the Lord through those in need.

So, while we are discerning, praying, investigating, and searching for our mission, it’s a good idea to get going on the corporal and spiritual works of mercy. Might as well—regardless of our forthcoming mission, we need to do them. Corporal works of mercy are: (physical needs)

† To feed the hungry † To give drink to the thirsty † To clothe the naked † To shelter the homeless † To visit the sick and imprisoned † To ransom the captive † To bury the dead † To give alms to the poor

The spiritual works of mercy are: (spiritual & emotional needs)

† To instruct the ignorant † To counsel the doubtful † To admonish sinners † To bear wrongs patiently † To forgive offences willingly † To comfort the afflicted † To pray for the living and the dead.

i Post-synodal apostolic exhortation of Pope John Paul II, The Vocation and Mission of the Lay Faithful in the Church and the World, 2, Rome 1988.

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Pondering Jesus’ words in Matthew Chapter 25 are sobering. There are things that we must do to get to Heaven. Am I lax about my salvation and the salvation of my family and friends? There is an idea perpetuated in modern times that everybody is going to Heaven. Do I accept this notion? Have I inquired, through the Church, or searched the Scriptures and the Catechism regarding salvation? The spiritual and corporal works of mercy can be very simple things such as visiting a lonely neighbor. Remember, the ordinary things done with extraordinary love, count too. In what ways do I minister to the needs of others?

Prayer

Lord, Please give me your eyes to see you in others. Please give me your heart to be moved with love for them. And Lord, please grant me the courage to minister to them as you would want me to. AMEN

Personal Notes

Resources

Into Your Hands, Father: Abandoning Ourselves to the God Who Loves Us by Wilfrid Stinissen is a spiritually power-packed little book. Simple and yet profound, I give this book a very high recommendation.

Renewal Ministries at www.renewalministries.net featuring Ralph Martin, Sister Ann Shields, and Peter Herbeck, is an evangelizing organization with many video and audio resources. This outstanding team is geared towards deepening our faith, challenging us and fortifying us with the spiritual tools we need in this day and age. The website is perfect for those who prefer audio and video rather than reading. The resources in the archives are practically endless.

http://www.renewalministries.net/

Spiritual Direction Something special happens when we are sincerely seeking God’s Will; the answers frequently come through our normal activities. An off-hand comment by a stranger might specifically address what we have been considering. We may find a burning desire in our hearts that persists, compelling us to give it our full consideration. It is often through ordinary things—a book, a situation, or a coincidence—that God speaks to us. It would be ideal if we could all have a holy, prudent, and insightful spiritual director. Certainly, any spiritual director should be loyal and obedient to the Church, as well as devoted to the Blessed Mother. A priest, as a spiritual director, would be optimal, though not absolutely necessary. Practicalities, being what they are, it’s not always possible to find a good spiritual director. Certainly we should pray about it and do some investigating. If God wants us to have a spiritual director, we will have one—in His time. But let’s not overlook what He has provided. We have only to look at the lives of the saints to see many holy friendships. There’s Saint Francis of Assisi and Saint Clare. Throughout his life, Blessed John Paul II enjoyed a relationship with other spiritual contemporaries of his time, like Blessed Mother Teresa, Venerable Fulton Sheen, and Saint “Padre” Pio (one brief encounter when the Pope was a young man and by letter in later years). We wouldn’t want to forget Saint Ignatius of Loyola and Saint Francis Xavier. Saint Teresa of Avila and Saint John of the Cross also come to mind. We could go on and on, recalling the relationships of spiritual giants in our Church’s history, but the point is this; people walking the road to holiness, quite often seek others on the same path. When we ponder the fruit produced by such friendships—it is simply stunning. Looking back on her life, Saint Teresa of Avila realized that, at times she could have used a good friend; “It is a great evil for a soul to be alone in the midst of so many dangers. It seems to me that if I should have had someone to talk all this over with, it would have helped me.”i

She therefore recommends the right kinds of friendship to others; “For this reason I would counsel those who practice prayer to seek, at least in the beginning, friendship and association with other person having the same interest. This is something most important even though the association may be only to help one another with prayers.”i Saint Teresa explains further, contrasting the difference between human attachments, (which can interfere with the spiritual life and lead to vainglory), and authentic Christian friendship with those who truly love God; “Since friends are sought out for conversations and human attachments, even though these latter may not be good, so as to relax and better enjoy telling about vain pleasure, I don’t know why it is not permitted that persons beginning truly to love and serve God, talk with some others about their joys and trial, which all who practice prayer undergo. For if the friendship they desire to have with His Majesty is authentic, there is no reason to fear vainglory.”i

Ok, most of us are not saints … yet. But we can see that the path to holiness, to fulfilling God’s intentions for our lives, in all likelihood, includes friends. In these relationships, all parties, (it could be a group) should sincerely seek God’s Will for the other(s). Individuals should not gather intending to promote their own agenda or self-serving intentions. Saint Paul tells us how to be an authentic friend, “Let no one seek his own good, but the good of his neighbor.” (1 Cor 10:24) Like all things in the economy of salvation, we will receive more than we give. If we need friends, we need to first, be a friend. Our companions on the spiritual journey, those who truly love us and want the best for us, will speak the truth with love. We can expect gentle and firm corrections from them. They will help us to stay on track and avoid sin. When it comes to making decisions and discerning God’s Will, these spiritual allies will intercede to God on our behalf. They will be available as a conduit of His love and guidance in our decisions, in our joys, and in our challenges. It is amazing to me how quickly a deep friendship can grow if it is rooted in the Lord and a love for His Church. The old adage “It takes a long time to grow a good friend,” does not necessarily apply here. When it comes to friendships in Christ, He is the catalyst.

It begins with prayer: asking God to provide those people—He selects—to be our spiritual companions. We might find them at Bible studies, prayer groups, men’s group like the Knights of Columbus, women’s groups, such as the Altar Society, on the Internet (chat rooms for example at Catholic.com), or even standing in line at the grocery store. The possibilities are endless. If we have our spiritual antennae up, God willing, we will find them. Now this gets us to a truly exciting reality. Spiritual friendships are not limited to this earthly existence. We are members of the Body of Christ, whether we are still on earth or in Heaven. The saints can be our spiritual partners, helping us to discern God’s Will and to walk the path of holiness intended for us. This is an incredible resource that we ought to utilize. The saints want a relationship with us! When we finally get to Heaven, we will already have a divine connection, an eventful history, with some of the saints there. These magnanimous souls will be waiting for us and we in turn, will be able to thank them in person, for their holy friendship. It’s kind of fun to think about. iTeresa of Avila, The Book of Her Life, Chapter 7, translated by Kieran Kavanaugh, OCD and Otillio Rodrigues, OCD

Pondering If the Lord wants us to have a spiritual director, he will provide. We, however, need to do our part. We need to pray, to research, to ask trusted people for references, and be open to inspiration. Am I patient enough to do my part, then leave the results up to God? Do I really believe that He will do what is best for me regarding spiritual direction? God often reaches out to us through the ordinary things of life. Do I anticipate God working in my life? Do I devalue the normal and ordinary things and go looking for something special or miraculous? Spiritual friends are priceless. Are we a true friend to others, or are we more concerned about what we receive in a relationship? Real spiritual friends will lovingly tell us the truth. Have I ended a friendship because I did not want correction? Have I ever ended a friendship uncharitably?

Prayer Lord Jesus, Thank you for all the friends you have given me: my guardian angel, the saints, and my friends on earth. You said, “Greater love has no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.” Jesus, help me to truly love the friends you have given me. AMEN

Personal Notes

Resources

It may seem odd that in this section, I am including a book on Spiritual Warfare. However, in the discernment process we need to be aware of the trickery of satan. Onward Catholic Soldier: Spiritual Warfare According to Scripture, the Church & the Saints by John LaBriola, is the best book on the subject of spiritual warfare that I have ever found. Available at www.OnwardCatholicSoldier.com or through Women of Grace 1-800-558-5452.

SURRENDER! The Life-Changing Power of DOING GOD’S WILL, by Father Larry Richards, is a challenging book. Using a rather blunt and often shocking style, Father Larry gets us to take an honest look our lives, motives, attachments, excuses and assumptions. His goal: to help us leave all that stuff behind and embrace God’s Will for us and His abundant blessings. Father Larry helps us put things in proper perspective. Available at any major book seller.

http://www.onwardcatholicsoldier.com/

The Virgin Mary & Our Mission It is likely that, as we are discerning God’s Will for us, it will come with plenty of unknowns. This can be an excuse, a reason not to get started. “I will pray and discern further, until I know more,” we might say. But let’s look at the Virgin Mary and see how she responded to the portion revealed to her, along with the accompanying boatload of unknowns. When Mary said “yes” to God at the Annunciation, “Behold, I am the handmaid of the Lord; let it be to me according to your word,” she did not know the entire design. But that did not stop her from responding and embracing God’s special plan for her. She had been told by the angel Gabriel, “…your kinswoman Elizabeth in her old age has also conceived a son; and this is the sixth month with her who was called barren.” (Luke 1:36) Her response: “…Mary arose and went with haste into the hill country, to a city of Judah, and she entered the house of Zachariah and greeted Elizabeth.” (Luke 1:39-40) Once she knew her current mission, her job assigned to her by God, she did it immediately. She did not procrastinate, asking for further discernment and more details. She didn’t wait. We aren’t the Virgin Mary, Spouse of the Holy Spirit. We can’t hear, see, and perceive as clearly she did. This merits a careful discernment process. But…but… when we do finally discern something that God is showing to us, we need to respond. God sometimes will show us where we will end up—but not the steps that will get us there. He might reveal the first things He wants us to do—while the end point remains hidden. Mary certainly did not know the culmination of all that would transpire as a result of her “yes,” but it’s a good thing for us that she proceeded in faith, every step of the way.

Pondering Mary went “with haste” when she discerned what God wanted her to do. Do I procrastinate when there is something I know God wants me to do? God does not always reveal the entire plan when he asks a step of faith from us. Am I what others (close family and friends) would label, “a control freak?” Must I know everything before I will proceed along my spiritual path? Am I willing to take this to Mother Mary, so she can help me trust God the way she does?

Prayer

An adapted excerpt from the Consecration Prayer of St. Maximilian Kolbe

Oh Immaculate Mary, Since it is through your hands that all graces come to us from Jesus, wherever you enter, you obtain the grace of conversion and growth in holiness. Dear Mother, please obtain for me the grace of a deeper conversion, so that I will trust Jesus as you trust—totally embracing His Will for me, wholeheartedly and without reserve. AMEN

Personal Notes

Resources There is such a multitude of books and resources concerning the Virgin Mary that I hesitate to indorse just two or three of my favorites. Certainly, the Catechism of the Catholic Church (CCC), or any Church document on the Virgin Mary, would be an excellent resource. The following are lesser known, but my faith grew as a result of watching and reading them. Knowing Mary Through the Bible, is a 4 DVD set featuring Dr. Ted Sri. The Bible is the only source Dr. Sri uses in these informal, yet profoundly insightful lectures. This is one of my very favorite resources for Catholics, as well as Protestants. In my opinion, these DVD’s are simply outstanding. The set can be ordered through EWTN at 1-800-854-6313 or online at www.ewtn.com. Mary In Her Own Words: The Mother of God in Scripture. The author, Father Gary Caster, is masterful at revealing the spiritual meaning of Mary’s words. Be prepared to go deep when you read this book. Published by Servant Books in 2006, this book is available at various Catholic websites, as well as Amazon. The Reed of God by Caryll Houselander, published by Ave Maria Press in 2006, will take the reader on a spiritual journey with Mary as the guide. The Virgin is presented as approachable, down-to-earth and available. This book is lovely, inspirational and at times, surprising. It is available at most major book sellers.

http://www.ewtn.com/

While enrolled in a creative non-fiction writing1 course, I chose Saint Helena as the subject for my final project below. Through my research, I was astounded by this courageous woman who, once she found The Lord, remained faithful, seeking His Will despite the variety of tremendous challenges she faced. On many fronts, her life could be labeled excessively dysfunctional. Often the dysfunctional aspects of our lives, namely our pasts or the behaviors of our close family members, derail us from carrying out the mission God has for us. That is exactly why we should turn to Saint Helena. She’s “The Queen of Dysfunction.” Even as an exceedingly elderly women enduring the worst kind of personal tragedy and public humiliation, she dared to continue walking in God’s Will, uniting 4th century Christians of the Roman Empire under the Cross of Christ. As her story unfolds, we can easily imagine how tempting it might have been to reject God’s plan for her life and yet Helena persevered to her last breath…

Saint Helena Queen of Dysfunction?

The mighty Roman Empire: Christian? It was an inconceivable thought for any early 4th century Roman citizen. And yet a new era was dawning: the mighty Roman Empire with its centuries of pagan polytheism would acquiesce to Christianity virtually overnight. Instrumental in one of history’s greatest shifts was Queen Helena, an incredible woman who never let life’s obstacles sabotage her.

There are differing opinions about the younger years of Helena. English traditions hold that she was the only child of King Cole and was raised to rule in his stead. Another more widely accepted opinion is that she was a commoner. Regardless of her beginnings, she was an amazing woman with an inspiring life.

As Helena’s story unfolds we see that during her lifetime she was hard-hit on many levels: as a publicly spurned divorced single mother, as a Christian during the worst persecutions in history, as a grieving mother and grandmother, and finally, as an extremely old woman with a job still yet to get done.

Early 4th Century Rome was a nefarious place for a Christian to live. Labeled the scapegoat for Roman misfortunes, plagues, and

financial woes, Christians suffered barbaric cruelties. If a member of the minority faith was caught practicing their beliefs, they might be fed to starved wild animals as entertainment for the masses, or their bodies used as human torches to light the famous Appian Way. The very early 4th century, during Helena’s middle-age years, produced the worst of it: the great Christian persecution under Roman Emperor Galerius.i Public sacrifices to the imperial cult were mandatory and if a Christian refused, they paid with their life, often in the most excruciating and painful methods imaginable.

A Turning Point

It is during this turbulent time that Helena’s life changed in ways

she could never have envisioned. After all, she was enjoying a secure position with a promising future. She was the wife of Governor Constantius Chlorus and they had a son together, Constantine. Helena benefitted from socializing with the upper classes and imagined herself and her family moving ever upwards in Roman society. And why wouldn’t she? Her husband was not only a trusted ruler in one of Rome’s smaller provinces, he was also a great military officer in the service of Rome and he was a determined man.

Their son, Constantine, while still a youth, was intelligent and exhibited a military talent that impressed his father and caused his mother’s heart to swell with pride. The future looked promising for Helena. But Constantius Chlorus’ ambitions would be her undoing.

Constantius Chlorus spurned Helena publicly by divorcing her. The assertive governor cast her off to marry Theodora, the stepdaughter of Maximian, the Western Augustus, no doubt a political move resulting in his appointment as Maximian’s Caesar. The self serving decision cost Constantius Chlorus more than Helena, he also lost the loyalty and support of his son Constantine. The talented youth sided with his mother.

Life’s injustices can often prepare the human heart, making it receptive to higher ideals. In Helena’s case, her divorce stripped away her upper class status. It was doubly humiliating with the added insult of being replaced by another woman. This hard reality set the stage, making her receptive to the truths of

Christianity. She had been pulled out of the political happenings of the Roman Empire and forced to redirect her dreams away from what she could no longer have. Helena lost almost everything considered valuable in her world and she responded by orchestrating her life towards spiritual matters, where she found something infinitely more precious.

Helena investigated the outlawed Christian religion that so many had willingly died for. This inquiry took her into homes where the sacred scriptures were secretly read aloud and the Supper of the Lord, the Catholic Mass, was shared by all. She made friends with people who did not care who she was or anything about her background; they were concerned only for her soul and her eternal happiness. These believers exchanged revealing signs drawn in the dirt to clandestinely identify themselves. Quickly drawn pictures of a fish or the Chi-Ro (the first 2 Greek letters of Christ’s name) were swiftly wiped away, lest anyone find them out. It was, after all, the time of the great Christian persecution: the most perilous era in history for a believer.

Of course, Helena felt the sting of discrimination and deep loss of friends as many Christians were discovered by Roman officials. Despite the personal danger, Helena converted whole-heartedly to Christianity: a risky decision, even for her, as she no longer enjoyed the protection of Rome, due to her change in status.

Helena was inspired by the courageous faith and sacrifices of Christians like Saint Clement of Rome, Saint Ignatius of Antioch, and Saint Justin Martyr. She studied their lives and the teachings they held dearer than their own survival. But it was the Holy Scriptures and the sacrifice of Jesus, the son of God which infused zeal into Helena that would eventually lead the entire Roman Empire into a Christian era.

As perilous as it might be, how could she possibly keep her newly found truth from her son, a career soldier for the Roman Empire? The Roman military had little tolerance for Christians within its ranks and Constantine had seen his share of good and loyal soldiers executed because they would not make the mandatory sacrifices to the pagan gods.

It was all so useless: the needless loss of excellent and honest men did little to boost the morale of the troops. It was a waste and Constantine hated that kind of squander, especially when the empire

was being pressed from all sides and Rome needed her best men to guard the borders and maintain the peace. Even though the idea nauseated him, Constantine made the token sacrifices; he was biding his time.ii

Roman commanders who relied on the good will of the gods were weak in Constantine’s eyes. Mandating prayer and sacrifice to the gods of Rome as an indispensible element of the empire’s military strategy was a ridiculous misuse of the troops and a poor substitute for good military leadership, properly executed strategies, and excellent training. Superior military tactics and campaigns swirled through Constantine’s mind while he endured the frustration of serving under generals less capable and less intelligent than he.

The one person on earth that Helena loved the most was her son, Constantine. He, in turn, adored his mother and admired her a great deal. Unusual as it might sound, they were good friends. She could not keep the truth from him, even if put him in danger. She knew her son—if he became Christian, it wouldn’t be half-heartedly. With youthful passion untainted by age, there was nothing compromising about Constantine when he made a decision. If Constantine accepted her faith, it might very well mean his death. If she didn’t tell him the truth of Christianity, she would be withholding her greatest treasure and she feared for the loss of his soul.

We can imagine Helena sharing her faith with Constantine: “Mother they’re so weak!” He’s incredulous at the direction she has taken

towards that pathetic group of Christians. In his mind, they were worse than those who the worship Roman gods. Their leader was of low birth and a crucified criminal.

“Son, they have more courage than you know.” “They don’t lift a hand to fight or protect themselves Mother, how can

you say they have courage?” “They are willing to die for what they believe, that takes courage.” And he had seen it in the ranks, when a soldier would face execution

rather than offer sacrifice to the Roman gods. “Obviously they believe it or they wouldn’t be willing to die for it, but

they’re not willing to fight for it either. Mother I cannot accept this new religion of yours.”

“I understand Son, but at least allow me to tell you the truth of it and correct the misconceptions you have. I know the rumors you hear are one sided.”

We can well imagine a conversation much like this one going long into the night, as Helena shared what she held closest in her heart with the son she loved. Constantine learned about her Christian friends, how the religion began and the hope she had of eternal life. He saw that she was serious, that she really had been moved on a deep level. She had a conviction about her that told him she would never turn back and that she would never be the same.

Constantine knew his mother well, had benefited from her toughness and self assuredness, despite all that had happened in their lives together. He knew that when she made up her mind, there was no point in trying to change it; she had indeed given him a lot to think about. But for all her convincing arguments, he did not accept her new creed.

A Son’s Providential Rise to Power

The Roman Empire was a divided kingdom governed by co-

emperors; one of which was Constantius Chlorus (Constantine’s father) who ruled the Western Kingdom. Although they were at odds over the past, all parties … Helena, Constantius Chlorus, and Constantine … realized that there was a great benefit for all of them if father and son joined together.ii Helena understood that such a reunion was her son’s path to great power; a power that, to a certain extent, she would share.

Constantine defended the Western Empire, fighting side by side with his father. Under battlefield conditions, Constantine and his aging father Constantius Chlorus grew close: the father teaching and bestowing his knowledge on his son. Constantine’s military skill and leadership were beneficial, as Constantius Chlorus, in due course, fell ill. The reunion for a son who had secretly wanted his father, and for a father who had yearned for his son, was short-lived. Upon the death of Constantius Chlorus, the troops proclaimed Constantine Emperor of the

West and set into motion events that would forever change the course of mankind. A bittersweet ascent to power, for sure, but an opportunity seized without hesitation by Constantine.ii

And where, might we ask, did Constantine get his genius: his great military mind? Training wasn’t responsible for it, although it was the instrument which brought it forth. Yes, he might have received it from his father, but what about his mother? History proved Helena to be quite a strategist.

With trepidation and a strange mix of fear and faith, she conceived events that would lead Rome into a Christian era. The thought of it must have sent her to her knees in prayer! If only Constantine were able to unify the entire empire, it could mean the end of Christian persecutions. Dare she think it after three centuries of abuse?

Constantine, too, had ambitions, but not for the benefit of the Christians; actually, they were the last thing on his mind. What occurred to him was that he must take Rome and with it the Eastern empire, ruled by Maxentius. This would be the first step in unifying the entire Empire under his rule.

For the first time in his military career, Constantine was worried. He was clearly out-matched by Maxentius. Constantine’s men too, were demoralized as Maxentius’ agents had infiltrated his camp spreading words of an ancient prophesy foretelling their upcoming defeat. For Constantine, it was disgusting, using Roman deities and prophesies to undercut the confidence of his men.

Had Helena’s words penetrated the mind of Constantine? Did Constantine turn to his mother’s God at that hour? Did he pray? She certainly did. On the early eve of what was his most decisive engagement at the Milvian Bridge, Constantine was encamped with his men. Here, the city of Rome would be won or lost, and along with it the rule of the eastern empire. An unearthly sign appeared in the sky; a cross with the first two Greek letters of Christ’s name upon it, the Chi-Ro. The apparition together with the Greek words, “by this, conquer” lingered a good long time. The troops for the most part were perplexed, all except those secret Christians hidden within the ranks.

Constantine recognized his mother’s teaching about Christianity in the image. Could there be something to that belief of hers? That night

he had a dream; in it, Jesus the Christ of the Christians came to him and instructed that he put the Christian symbol upon the helmets and shields of his soldiers. Without hesitation Constantine declared the Chi-Ro his new battle standard.iii His soldiers were ordered to paint the Christian symbol on their helmets and shields.

Even though Constantine’s troops were greatly outnumbered, the sign of favor emboldened Constantine and his legions with confidence. At the Milvian Bridge, they drove Maxentius and his men into the Tiber River where Maxentius, weighed down by his armor, drowned. A victory march into Rome was greeted with cheers when the crowds saw the much hated Maxentius’ head mounted on a pole: the grotesque trophy paraded triumphantly through the streets. Constantine now ruled the Eastern and Western Empires and would eventually unify the entire Roman Empire.

The new emperor did what his citizens must have thought madness; he gave Christianity the full protection of Roman law. During Constantine’s reign, the civilized world would become irreversibly Christianized—an unprecedented paradigm shift and a decisive change in the direction of world history.

It is difficult to imagine what it was like for a Christian to hear about this change. Consider that, for three centuries Christians had been brutally persecuted and now Christianity was not only legal, but the queen mother herself was a professed believer. No more hiding, no more fear and the practice of crucifixion—abolished.

Crispus

Constantine’s oldest son from his first marriage, Crispus,

demonstrated the same military talent and leadership qualities as his father. Crispus was highly respected and, as a result, represented his father’s authority throughout the empire. He was not only handsome and athletic, Crispus was well-loved by all, especially his grandmother, Helena. It must have warmed her heart, watching the relationship between father and son blossom.

As Constantine aged and matured, he married for the second time, taking a young wife, Fausta. She bore him three sons and all seemed happy in the emperor’s family. But discontent was brewing.

Fausta could see the primacy of Helena, as the Queen. After all, Constantine had declared his mother Augusta. She was thereby venerated as empress and enjoyed a share of influence in Roman government.iv Fausta could only hope to attain such power and influence through her sons … but her adult step-son, Crispus was the oldest and favored to succeed his father as emperor of Rome.

Legend has it that Fausta accused Crispus of making sexual advances towards her. Constantine threw his son into prison. Not satisfactory for Fausta, she persisted with her accusations embellishing them. With the power that perverts good judgment, the jealous older man ordered the execution of his son Crispus without a trial.

It is assumed by historians that Helena pleaded Crispus’ innocence to Constantine. Could it be that Fausta wanted Crispus dead so her own sons would have primacy in the Empire? Crispus was a gifted and excellent military leader. How could Fausta’s sons ascend to power if he were in the way?

When Constantine realized he had been duped by his wife, he rescinded his deadly order, but it was too late. Crispus had already been executed by the sword in his prison cell.ii It is recorded that Crispus claimed his innocence to the very end.

One month later, Fausta too, was executed. She loved to take the baths and Constantine commanded that a bath be drawn for his wife and heated until she was dead.

Constantine had both the names of Crispus and Fausta stricken from all histories and public records—as if these two people had never existed and these horrible events had never happened. To speak their names was strictly prohibited.

On a personal level, Helena’s heart had to be broken. Not only did she unnecessarily lose her beloved grandson, she saw her only son commit murder twice, putting his soul in mortal danger. At this point in history Constantine was not a baptized Christian.

History shows that for most of his reign, Constantine was a Christian of convenience when it suited his purposes in governing the Roman Empire. We have only to look at the triumphal Arch of Constantine in Rome, which was built to commemorate his victory at the Milvian Bridge. There is no mention of the sign in the sky from Jesus, the voice in his dream, or the new standard adopted by his soldiers at that critical hour. It in fact, includes a pagan deity.

There is another grief that Helena endured due to the circumstances of Crispus’ execution: the potential fallout from the pitiful behavior of the ruling family. This example was exhibited by the Christians in power, the very people who had legalized it and had promoted Christianity.

Given human nature, we can imagine that people shared the tantalizing information about the emperor’s family all the more because it was forbidden. The news, along with its repercussions, must have buzzed throughout the empire.

Realizing her providential placement in the world, and taking seriously the Great Commission of Jesus to “make disciples of all nations,” (Matt 28:19) Helena must have grieved enormously over these sad developments.

We see Constantine’s response in his futile attempt to wipe the whole disgusting situation from history. Helena’s response was quite different — she sought the Will of God and did it.

The True Cross

Although instrumental in the conversion of an entire empire to

Christianity, Helena is known primarily for finding the one true cross. This sounds like an ancient legend, one that couldn’t possibly be true, but first hear the story.

With the Roman Empire decisively Christian, Helena was compelled to find the instrument of life for humanity: the one True Cross of Jesus Christ. With the full backing of Emperor Constantine, Helena set out on her quest, a royal pilgrimage to the Holy Land in search of the True Cross.

This grand undertaking would consume the few years of life which the elderly Helena had left. The average life span for a 4th Century Roman was just 28 years (child mortality rates being very high) and Helena was in her late 70’s, possibly early 80’s—absolutely ancient for the time, and yet she went.

Helena was indeed privileged with the advantages of her position but even so, a pilgrimage to the holy land would take two years or more to complete and it would be done under 4th century conditions.

It had been roughly three hundred years since the Crucifixion and the Jerusalem of Jesus’ day was not recognizable. Keep in mind that in 70 AD Jerusalem had been completely destroyed and the Roman

Emperor Hadrian, who ruled from AD 117138, intended to create a second Rome from the ashes of the Jewish city. Ancient historian

Eusebius of Caesarea, (AD 263339) believed that Hadrian purposefully intended to obliterate “all memory of Christ’s Passion and to thwart the spread of the Gospel.”iv

Helena played the archeologist-detective. Using the credible writings from Eusebius about the actual location of the crucifixion of Christ and legends held through local oral traditions, Helena discerned where she believed Golgotha, the place of Christ’s crucifixion, to be.

The accepted site of Golgotha had a temple to Venus built upon it (which most likely was already being demolished at the order of Constantine). The legend held that the three crucifixion crosses used when Jesus was executed were thrown into a cistern, which providentially had provided the perfect environment for the preservation of wood. During the excavations, beneath the Venusian temple, a cistern was found at levels corresponding with first century Jerusalem. Three crosses were pulled from it.

Interestingly enough, it is now known, that prior to the construction of the Venusian temple, this was recognized as a holy place believed to be Golgotha and venerated by the earliest Christians.iv The Christians ceased to venerate and pray at the holy site ever since the temple to Venus was erected; they did not want to confuse praying to the one true God with giving the worship of Venus.

But which of the three crosses was the One True Cross of Jesus Christ? A terminally-ill woman was brought to the site. The dying woman was told to touch all three crosses. An instantaneous cure was the sickly woman’s reward for her cooperation when she stroked the wood of the last cross. That was the inspired test. For Helena, her entourage, and her whole kingdom, that was proof of the True Cross.iv

There are indeed, convincing growing bodies of evidence in support of Helena’s find. The most compelling, is a section (about ¼ of the entire piece) of the titulus, the head board of the crucifixion cross of Jesus. This holy relic was found in 1492, expertly hidden in Helena’s

palace behind the Church of the Holy Cross of Jerusalem in Rome. It was hidden behind a fresco, encased in a casket behind a stone. Helena really didn’t want anyone to find it and they didn’t for over 1000 years.

Three different languages make up the writing on the titulus, Greek, Latin and Hebrew. Scholars studying the letters and writing style place it exclusively at the time of Pontius Pilate and identify it as part of a crucifixion headboard.

The majority of the True Cross was left in Jerusalemiv with portions of it dispatched throughout the Roman Empire.vi Helena saw that her son Constantine received two nails used in the crucifixion: one was placed into his helmet and the other was fashioned into the bridle for his horse.

Helena traveled back to Rome in time to die; her son Constantine at her side. Helena did not see the fulfillment of her deepest desire: the Christian baptism of her beloved son.vii But even so, she remained a faithful Christian to the very end. She was in her early 80’s when she breathed her last.

An Example for Believers Today

Helena was inspired and moved on that inspiration. It’s as if she

knew she had a great purpose that was only hers to accomplish. She never allowed any situation to deter her from her devotion and service to God. Not even the execution of her first born grandson, Crispus, by his own father Constantine could shake her from her faith. Helena’s continued response was to follow God’s Will and the plan He had for her life. From commoner to Queen, through persecutions, heartaches, and trials, Helena kept her focus on Jesus, following him no matter the circumstances.

We know from the historian Eusebius that Helena was powerful. But he also tells us that she remained truly Christian, as demonstrated by her behaviors and motivations. Empress Helena Augusta was a very generous Queen Mother. While on her great pilgrimage to the Holy Land, Eusebius writes, “…but especially abundant were the gifts she bestowed upon the naked and unprotected poor. To some she gave money, to others an ample supply of clothing; she liberated some from imprisonment, or from the bitter servitude of the mines, others she

delivered from unjust oppression, and others again, she restored from exile.”iv

Catholics, indeed all Christians, can look to Helena and draw courage and motivation. At some point she did risk it all: not just her own safety but her relationship with Constantine, as well. She put it all on the line for her beliefs, even when things looked pretty bleak.

She must have wondered repeatedly, as the decades passed and she turned 50, then 60, then 70, and finally 80, “For what purpose do I continue to exist?” And yet, she persevered to answer that burning question and fulfill her God-given mission.

End Notes

1 In creative non-fiction writing, the historical facts are accurately represented while the things we cannot know, (in this case conversations, subordinate actions, and thoughts of the characters), are deduced from those facts. There are no created characters or underlying story-lines such as would be found in historical fiction. Creative non-fiction writing works from the major and pertinent facts supported by what “likely” happened but what cannot be known for certain. An analogy—it’s like putting a little flesh on the bones we already have. i Matthew Bunson. Encyclopedia of Catholic History. Huntington, Indiana: Our Sunday Visitor, 1995. ii Bray Poor. When Rome Ruled (DVD). Washington, D.C.: National Geographic, 2011. iii H. W. Crocker III. Triumph the Power and the Glory of the Catholic Church. New York: Crown Publishing Group a division of Random House, Inc., 2001. iv Carsten Peter Thiede and Matthew D'Ancona. The Quest For the True Cross. London: The Orion Pulbishing Group Ltd., 2000. v To support the early Christian belief that the faithful did in fact believe it to be the place of crucifixion and make pilgrimages there, one can consider a recent archeological find from just 25 years ago. Israeli archeologist Magen Broschi discovered, below the Church of the Holy Sepulchre in Jerusalem and only a few yards from where the crosses were recovered by Helena, “graffiti” dating back to the first 100-150 years of Christianity. This graffiti is in fact European Christian with drawings and writings that demonstrate the belief that this was the place of crucifixion. (Thiedeiv) So Helena was not the first pilgrim to the Holy Land and she certainly wasn’t the only one who believed this to be the location of Golgotha. But of

course she didn’t know about this graffiti then, the ancient art and writings have only recently been uncovered.

viThe True Cross was burned by Muslims during an invasion to the Holy Land. vii Constantine was eventually baptized before he died. The belief that baptism washes away sins was the reason for his delay. Being an emperor, he was conflicted by the harsh realities of maintaining power and the Christian teachings, so he put off baptism till close to the end of his life. He wanted to be baptized in the Jordan River in the Holy Land, but his health was failing so he was baptized in Rome. History records a man who towards the end of his life had an attraction for peace and a desire to make amends to God. He is responsible for calling the Council of Nicaea and construction of the first St. Peter’s Basilica in Rome.

Pondering Learning to trust the Lord is required if we are to give Him the control over our lives. In order to trust, we must have an ongoing personal relationship with Jesus. How much of myself do I give that most important relationship with the Lord? We all pass through many milestones as we move through the different phases of our lives. Do I wail for certain events to take place or things to be in order before I will begin sincerely living out the mission God has for me? Sometime s we get caught up in all that life throws our way. It can be difficult to believe that God is at work and He has a purpose for us in each particular circumstance. Do I use my personal handicaps, lack of resources and talents, disappointments, or my circumstances as excuses for not seeking out my mission from God?

Prayer Dear Lord Jesus, It is impossible to inadequately thank You for Your sacrifice on the Cross, but please accept my gratitude, as poor and insufficient as it is. Help me never to take You for granted or to be presumptuous of your love and grace. Inspired by your servant, Saint Helena, help me to venerate the Cross which was the horrific instrument of your death, but that of my life! I ask for strength to carry my cross with love, uniting it with Your Cross, Jesus, so that it may also be an instrument of life for others. AMEN

Personal Notes

Resources Part I of The Fathers Know Best by Jimmy Akin is a particularly good source for anyone who wants to understand the Early Church particularly those Fathers who Saint Helena herself studied and some she may have known. An Excellent and detailed resource for the historical facts of Saint Helena’s life is, the Quest for the True Cross by Carsten Peter Thiede and Matthew D’Ancona. There is also a DVD documentary that was produced by Discover Communications in 2002, Quest for the True Cross by Laura Marshall. For specifics regarding Constantine’s rise to power and the stories about his son Crispus and wife Fausta, When Rome Ruled is a good DVD set to watch. It was produced by National Geographic in 2011 and authored by Bray Poor. Just skip straight to the section which features Constantine the Great.

Going Into the Father’s Vineyard at Any Hour When discerning and carrying out God’s Will, Pope John Paul II has given the Church outstanding leadership. With a father’s love, he reached out to many different groups of people, teaching this truth; we each have an irreplaceable part in God’s plan. What is our particular role in the human drama—where souls are won or lost for an eternity? As we carry out the Great Commission of Jesus to Go therefore and make disciples of all nations… (Matt 28:19-20), it helps to remember what Saint Paul tells about our different functions in the Body of Christ. There are different kinds of spiritual gifts but the same Spirit; there are different forms of service but the same Lord; there are different workings but the same God who produces all of them in everyone. (1 Cor 12: 4-6) Now you are Christ's body, and individually parts of it. Some people God has designated in the church to be, first, apostles; second, prophets; third, teachers; then, mighty deeds; then, gifts of healing, assistance, administration, and varieties of tongues. Are all apostles? Are all prophets? Are all teachers? Do all work mighty deeds? Do all have gifts of healing? Do all speak in tongues? Do all interpret? (1 Cor 12: 27-30) Whatever our particular mission is, (that particular calling from God unique to us), it ultimately leads to saving souls—our own and others. Pope John Paul II explains that during our formation as Christians we can expect “… an ever-clearer discovery of one’s vocation and the ever-greater willingness to live it so as to fulfill one’s mission.” He clarifies by telling us that “In life…there are particularly significant and decisive moments for discerning God’s call and embracing the mission entrusted by Him.” Our time is now. God put us on earth at this moment and in these circumstances for a reason. The Holy Father continues by reinforcing the necessity of prayer and listening, “Therefore, the fundamental and continuous attitude of the disciple should be one of vigilance and a conscious attentiveness to the voice of God.”

We are all here to fulfill our mission. Out of love, God has called us to Himself and thereby, set us on a path which participates in His divine action. That path is ever-adjusting to our good actions as well as our miss-steps: continually enabling each of us to respond to His unique call. How can we go off the path and still be on the path? We must repeatedly turn to Him with attentiveness to the voice of God. It is indeed a mystery, one that demonstrates God’s charitable nature. If we are still alive, we have not missed out. God invites us to respond at any hour of our lives as demonstrated by Jesus in His parable, The Laborers in the Vineyard. "The kingdom of heaven is like a landowner who went out at dawn to hire laborers for his vineyard. After agreeing with them for the usual daily wage, he sent them into his vineyard. Going out about nine o'clock, he saw others standing idle in the marketplace, and he said to them, 'You too go into my vineyard, and I will give you what is just.' So they went off. (And) he went out again around noon, and around three o'clock, and did likewise. Going out about five o'clock, he found others standing around, and said to them, 'Why do you stand here idle all day?' They answered, 'Because no one has hired us.' He said to them, 'You too go into my vineyard.' When it was evening the owner of the vineyard said to his foreman, 'Summon the laborers and give them their pay, beginning with the last and ending with the first.' When those who had started about five o'clock came, each received the usual daily wage. So when the first came, they thought that they would receive more, but each of them also got the usual wage. And on receiving it they grumbled against the landowner, saying, 'These last ones worked only one hour, and you have made them equal to us, who bore the day's burden and the heat.' He said to one of them in reply, 'My friend, I am not cheating you. Did you not agree with me for the usual daily wage? Take what is yours and go. What if I wish to give this last one the same as you? (Or) am I not free to do as I wish with my own money? Are you envious because I am generous?' Thus, the last will be first, and the first will be last.” (Matt 20:1-16) Those who worked longest perceived an injustice. The vineyard owner, however, proved his actions were not only just, but generous. This parable, Laborers in the Vineyard, is the basis for Pope John

Paul II’s Apostolic Exhortation, The Vocation and Mission of the Lay Faithful in the Church and the World. Throughout the exhortation, the Pope tells all people, especially the laity to “go into the Father’s vineyard.” He urges everyone “to make sure that you are indeed the Lord’s Laborers. Each person should take into account what he does and consider if he is laboring in the vineyard of the Lord.” It’s not too late to embrace the mission God has given and go into the vineyard of the Lord. So many of us are late-bloomers in the spiritual life. We cannot make up for lost time; it is impossible to go back and relive any moment. Time is relentless—when it’s gone, it’s gone. That is why this message of hope, especially when we focus on those last-hour laborers, is so fabulous. God is incredibly charitable. There are times when finding God’s Will for our lives can seem puzzling and a bit mystifying. After all, how does anyone hear the voice of God? Pope John Paul II gives us some very practical advice; “To be able to discover the actual Will of the Lord in our lives always involves the following:

a receptive listening to the word of God and the Church,

fervent and constant prayer,

recourse to a wise and loving spiritual guide and

a faithful discernment of the gifts and talents given by God, as well as the diverse social and historic situation in which one lives.”i

But I am too old, too young, too…?

Objections to our mission? From the beginning, human beings have been making excuses and trying to prove they weren’t up to the task given them by God. We have only to look at some of the major Old Testament characters to see that human nature hasn’t changed. From our vantage point, it seems almost impossible that anyone, who had seen signs and wonders performed by God or actually spoke with the Lord “face to face” (Ex 33:11) like Moses did, would doubt the Lord’s judgment. But we often see Old Testament Biblical characters explaining to God why they cannot do the job He has asked of them. Moses was a great objector. “Who am I…?” (Ex 3:11), “…but I am slow of speech and tongue.” (Ex 4:10)

Jeremiah protest is similar, “I know not how to speak; I am too young.” (Jer 1:6) Sarah thought she was too old. Isaiah thought he was too sinful. But what about us? We have the fulfillment of the New Testament in Jesus Christ. We have the Church guided by the Holy Spirit. And…we have the most miraculous signs and wonders of all—the Sacraments. The Biblical figures from the Old Testament could legitimately point out to us, “If we knew what you know, we would never have doubted the Lord’s designs!” We’ve heard the saying, The Lord does not (necessarily) call the qualified; He qualifies the called. King David was an adulterer; Saint Peter denied Jesus; Saint Paul (then Saul) was a murderer of Christians; Abraham was old; and Lazarus…was dead. We can come up with all kinds of excuses. But, if God calls us, He will provide for our shortcomings and He will honor our efforts, although we may not see the fruit, until Heaven. John Paul II had this to say regarding the objections based on age, “at every stage of life the Lord can ask each of us to contribute what talents we have. The Service of the Gospel has nothing to do with age!”i

What if our mission, our calling is, by all appearances, to do nothing? Well, it may look that we are do nothing because of the limitations placed on us through illness or old age, but the opposite can be true when we join our situation to Jesus’ redemptive work on the Cross. Remember what the children of Fatima said? They told us that many souls go to hell because they have no one to pray and offer sacrifices for them. Suffering (no matter what type or how small) is a calling and a mission of the highest order. Saint Paul confirms this saying, “In the flesh I complete what is lacking in Christ’s afflictions for the sake of his body, that is, the Church.” (Col 1:24) Some of the most meaningful work—where souls are won or lost for all eternity—is done in a sick-bed. This salvific work comes in many forms;

the pregnant woman with young children who is bed-bound for months until it’s time to deliver her child,

the terminally ill person of any age,

the person with a chronic illness that must be dealt with their entire lives,

the elderly who are house or bed-bound,

the lonely person, and

fill in the blank-the possibilities are endless.

For anyone who feels they have lost their usefulness and especially to the elderly, John Paul had this to say, “The Church still needs you.”ii He continues, “She (the Church) appreciates the services which you may wish to provide in many areas of the apostolate; she counts on the support of your longer periods of prayer; she counts on your advice born of experience, and she is enriched by your daily witness to the Gospel.”ii

In Pope John Paul’s Letter to the Elderly, he emphasizes that all the phases of life have their particular character and that every phase is a meaningful preparation (for) eternity. In it, he recounts the different periods of his life, drawing lessons from his own personal history. Just as John Paul had reached out to the many different groups in his life-time (the youth, families, women etc), he writes this letter, with of a deep desire, to connect with the elderly. “As an older person myself, I have felt the desire to engage in a conversation with you.”ii Such a conversation would certainly include much personal sharing; “I feel a spontaneous desire to share fully with you my own feelings at this point of my life, after more than twenty years of ministry on the throne of Peter and as we await the arrival, now imminent, of the Third Millennium. Despite the limitations brought on by age, I continue to enjoy life. For this I thank the Lord.”ii Let’s pray, that no matter our circumstances, we will be able to say with the Holy Father, “It is wonderful to be able to give oneself to the very end for the sake of the kingdom of God!”ii

End Notes

i Post-synodal apostolic exhortation of Pope John Paul II, The Vocation and Mission of the Lay Faithful in the Church and the World, Rome, 1988. Citations, 2 and 58.

ii Letter of His Holiness Pope John Paul II To the Elderly. 1, 7, 13, 17. Rome 1999

Pondering Each person has a role in Salvation History. Sometimes we go about our lives, responding to the stimuli presented without considering God’s purpose. Do I move through the hours and days of my life without thinking of God’s designs? Pope John Paul II gave us very specific advice in discerning God’s Will for our lives; “To be able to discover the actual Will of the Lord in our lives always involves the following:

a receptive listening to the word of God and the Church,

fervent and constant prayer,

recourse to a wise and loving spiritual guide and

a faithful discernment of the gifts and talents given by God, as well as the diverse social and historic situation in which one lives.”

Have I put any of the Holy Father’s advice into practice? It is sometimes easier to see why we can’t do what God asks of us, than to believe he will qualify us for the task. When I have discerned that God wants me to do something that I would rather not do, do I find reasons not to do it?

Prayer

This prayer is an excerpt taken from Pope John Paul II’s Letter To the Elderly

Grant, O Lord of life, that we may savor every season of our lives as a gift filled with promise for the future. Grant that we may lovingly accept your will, and place ourselves each day in your merciful hands. Mary, Mother of pilgrim humanity, pray for us “now and at the hour of our death.” Keep us ever close to Jesus, your beloved Son and our brother, the Lord of life and glory. AMEN

Personal Notes

Resources

Pope John Paul II’s Letter to the Elderly was released from the Vatican in October 1999 and is printed and published by Pauline Books & Media (the publishing house for the Daughters of St. Paul), 50 Saint Paul’s Avenue, Boston, MA 02130-3491. It can be found online at the Vatican’s website or by simply doing a search. For a hard-copy, it can be purchased through varies Catholic websites or Amazon. Pope John Paul II’s Post-Synodal Apostolic Exhortation to Bishops, Priest, Deacon, Women, and Men Religious and All the Lay Faithful, The Vocation and Mission of the Lay Faithful in the Church and the World was released from the Vatican in December 1988. It can be found online at the Vatican’s website or by simply doing a search. For a hard-copy, it can be purchased through varies Catholic websites or Amazon.

Our Mission From God

“God can use a good work, but He inhabits an anointed work.”i There is an exponential characteristic to the work we do for the Lord when He calls us specifically to it. Like Saint Thérèse of Lisieux, it may remain hidden during our lives on earth. Or, our mission, like Saint Helena’s, might include fame and influence. God’s Will is perfectly suited to us and when He inhabits that mission, it will bear fruit in ways we cannot conceive. We see also, from the examples of the saints, that discovering God’s Will for our lives leads to sanctity.

Humility “I could never be a saint” is something that we often hear or perhaps say ourselves. On the surface, it sounds humble. In reality, however, when we firmly state something that is opposed to the Will of God, we are prideful and arrogant. God created us for sainthood; His Will for us is that we become saints. We simply do not know better than God. Remember what Saint Thérèse’ said shortly before she died? “I feel that my mission is going to begin, my mission to cause the Good Lord to be loved as I love Him…to give my little way to souls. I WANT TO SPEND MY HEAVEN DOING GOOD ON EARTH.”ii Her words convey confidence in her sanctity. She implies that she is going to Heaven and there she will receive her mission from God. On the surface, it sounds a little prideful. After all, who makes statements like that when they are dying? Humble saints do. A succinct and uncommon definition of humility comes from Saint Theresa of Avila, “Humility is walking in the truth.” Humility and truth never contradict—they fit together perfectly.

Directions from Mom The Blessed Virgin Mary’s “yes” led her through beautiful joys, tremendous sorrows, and finally, to exalted Glories. She didn’t know

any of that when she gave her fiat, “Behold, I am the handmaid of the Lord; may it be done to me according to your word.”iii But like the Blessed Virgin Mary, our “yes” to the Lord needs to be whole-hearted, no matter where it leads. We begin with the question, “Lord, what do you want me to do?”iv

And we follow Mary’s instructions, “Do whatever He tells you.”v

End Notes

i A quote from the late Babsie Bleasdell for Trinidad. This quote is often re-quoted by Johnnette Benkovic, founder and president of Women of Grace. ii From the autobiography of Thérèse of Lisieux, The Story of a Soul, Chapter 9, My Vocation, Love iii Luke 1:38

iv CCC 2706

v John 2:5

Pondering

The quote, “God can use a good work, but He inhabits an anointed work,”i has profound implications.

Am I sincerely seeking to do God’s Will, or do I rely on my own judgment when making decisions about how I will serve the Lord?

God created us to be saints.

Do I believe that God created me—personally—to be a saint? Do I think sainthood, in this life, is possible for me?

Jesus gave His mother to us as our mother, personally and specifically, not just in a general way.

Do I go to the Blessed Mother for guidance in discovering the mission her Son Jesus has for me?

i A quote from the late Babsie Bleasdell for Trinidad. This quote is often re-quoted by Johnnette Benkovic, founder and president of Women of Grace.

Prayer

Litany of Humility

Rafael Cardinal Merry del Val (1865-1930), Secretary of State for Pope Saint Pius X

O Jesus! meek and humble of heart, Hear me. From the desire of being esteemed, Deliver me, Jesus.

From the desire of being loved... From the desire of being extolled ... From the desire of being honored ... From the desire of being praised ... From the desire of being preferred to others... From the desire of being consulted ... From the desire of being approved ... From the fear of being humiliated ... From the fear of being despised... From the fear of suffering rebukes ... From the fear of being slandered ... From the fear of being forgotten ... From the fear of being ridiculed ... From the fear of being wronged ... From the fear of being suspected ...

That others may be loved more than I, Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.

That others may be esteemed more than I ... That, in the opinion of the world, others may increase and I may decrease ... That others may be chosen and I set aside ... That others may be praised and I unnoticed ... That others may be preferred to me in everything... That others may become holier than I, provided that I may become as holy as I should…

Personal Notes

discovering god's will in our lives the saints show us the way a companion study guide

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