domestic violence prevention for native people

1Stepping Stones Publications 2009

Domestic Violence Domestic Violence PreventionPrevention

Living within Peace, Strength Living within Peace, Strength and a Good Mindand a Good Mind


Domestic ViolenceDomestic Violence

Definition:Definition:• It is the use of physical, sexual force It is the use of physical, sexual force

or psychological actual or or psychological actual or threatened, in an intimate threatened, in an intimate relationship. relationship.

• Abuse can be acts or threats Abuse can be acts or threats affecting a person mentally, affecting a person mentally, physically, spiritually or emotionally.physically, spiritually or emotionally.


Goal of Domestic Goal of Domestic ViolenceViolence

• Above all else, is to achieve “ POWER and Above all else, is to achieve “ POWER and CONTROL” of another personCONTROL” of another person

By implementing the following:By implementing the following:Coercion / threats / intimidationCoercion / threats / intimidationEmotional AbuseEmotional AbuseIsolationIsolationDenying and BlamingDenying and BlamingUsing ChildrenUsing ChildrenAbuse (including economic Abuse (including economic

abuse)abuse)Male PrivilegeMale Privilege


The Intimate The Intimate RelationshipRelationship• Before my moon time began, my aunt told Before my moon time began, my aunt told

me there was going to be a time when I me there was going to be a time when I would seek a partnerwould seek a partner

• Her advise to me was to observe the family Her advise to me was to observe the family and watch how everyone treated their and watch how everyone treated their mother (respect and caring)mother (respect and caring)

• I was asked what kind of relationship do I I was asked what kind of relationship do I want and what kind of life did I want for my want and what kind of life did I want for my children children

• Four traits of people:Four traits of people:Happy and caringHappy and caring

Angry and jealousAngry and jealousScared and confusedScared and confusedSad and carelessSad and careless


Love the Feeling Caring Love the Feeling Caring the Actionthe Action

• Love for the passion, the excitement, the Love for the passion, the excitement, the happiness, for the moment of happiness, for the moment of commitmentcommitment

• Caring for someone, it can last a life-Caring for someone, it can last a life-time. It is the sacred unconditional time. It is the sacred unconditional feeling that is always constant, a bond feeling that is always constant, a bond that permits them to speak with their that permits them to speak with their eyes, an energy that swirls in their hands eyes, an energy that swirls in their hands and feet, a feeling that lets them know and feet, a feeling that lets them know when they are close by and no matter when they are close by and no matter the distance they can meet the distance they can meet in in their their dreamsdreams


Understanding My Understanding My ChoiceChoice

• As a Haudenosaunee female, I am sacredAs a Haudenosaunee female, I am sacred• My responsibility is a carrier of new lifeMy responsibility is a carrier of new life• I choose my partner, the father of my I choose my partner, the father of my

childrenchildren• With the Creator’s blessing, I plan when to With the Creator’s blessing, I plan when to

prepare for the birth of each child prepare for the birth of each child

• My children can bond me to their My children can bond me to their father’s father’s familyfamily

• I can choose to have healthy, I can choose to have healthy, unhealthy unhealthy or non-existent family (paternal) or non-existent family (paternal) relationshiprelationship


Long ago...Long ago...

• The matriarchal society of women were The matriarchal society of women were responsible and gave direction for the responsible and gave direction for the following:following:

the longhouse homethe longhouse homethe landthe landthe childrenthe childrenthe ceremoniesthe ceremoniesthe foodthe food

The family worked together as a way of The family worked together as a way of life...life...


Cultural changes...Cultural changes...

• The Fur Trade...300 years of trade & The Fur Trade...300 years of trade & violence (rum, guns and wares)violence (rum, guns and wares)

• Wars (Direct or indirect)Wars (Direct or indirect)• The loss of land to reservesThe loss of land to reserves• Decrease in food productionDecrease in food production• Implementation of the Indian Act / PolicyImplementation of the Indian Act / Policy• Christianity Christianity • Residential SchoolsResidential Schools• Accepting of western lifestyle of identity, Accepting of western lifestyle of identity,

thinking, behaviors, values and abusesthinking, behaviors, values and abuses


Cultural Renewal...Cultural Renewal...

Learning cultural knowledge:Learning cultural knowledge:Language Language CeremoniesCeremonies

The Great LawThe Great Law The Code of Handsome LakeThe Code of Handsome Lake

Traditional Health Traditional Health Roles and ResponsibilitiesRoles and ResponsibilitiesTraditional Life SkillsTraditional Life Skills

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Stepping Stones Publications 2009

Personal ChallengesPersonal Challenges

The Creator places judgment on a person The Creator places judgment on a person when they diewhen they die

• In our teachings it is not our place to In our teachings it is not our place to judge a personjudge a person

• A person can repent and changeA person can repent and change• It is said that these are their life lessons / It is said that these are their life lessons /

personal challenges and they are to find personal challenges and they are to find their strength, peace and a good mindtheir strength, peace and a good mind

• A person is tested by their personal A person is tested by their personal challenges challenges

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Living within Peace Living within Peace Strength and a Good MindStrength and a Good Mind

As we uphold our Ceremonies and full-fill our As we uphold our Ceremonies and full-fill our instructions from the Creator, we can live instructions from the Creator, we can live withinwithin

• PeacePeace – caring relationships with our self and – caring relationships with our self and others, resolving / forgiving childhood conflictsothers, resolving / forgiving childhood conflicts

• StrengthStrength – family structure, stress management, – family structure, stress management, social involvement, sharing, communicating and social involvement, sharing, communicating and healinghealing

• A Good MindA Good Mind – grief counseling, anger – grief counseling, anger management, non judgment and positive management, non judgment and positive self self esteemesteem

Abuse Hinders GrowthAbuse Hinders Growth

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Messages from the Messages from the CreatorCreator

• When the Peace Maker brought the When the Peace Maker brought the message of peace we buried our message of peace we buried our weapons underneath the White Pine weapons underneath the White Pine Tree. Accepting the message of peace, Tree. Accepting the message of peace, meant we were not to hurt / kill othersmeant we were not to hurt / kill others

• In the Code of Handsome Lake it is said In the Code of Handsome Lake it is said that if men are abusive and that if men are abusive and continuously hit a woman, they will hit continuously hit a woman, they will hit a burning molten statue and a burning molten statue and continuously feel the pain forever in continuously feel the pain forever in the the realm of the punisher.realm of the punisher.

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A time for a change...A time for a change...

Once the Peace Maker set our pathway, we lived Once the Peace Maker set our pathway, we lived in peace and harmony while experiencing in peace and harmony while experiencing happiness with others.happiness with others.

Since 1492 our people have survived many Since 1492 our people have survived many changes...Handsome Lake brought messages to changes...Handsome Lake brought messages to help our people live in a good way amongst the help our people live in a good way amongst the new people. new people.

As we are nearing the end of this day, oppression As we are nearing the end of this day, oppression is lifting and it is time for a change...to make is lifting and it is time for a change...to make right what has been missing from our lives by right what has been missing from our lives by living within peace, strength and a good mind.living within peace, strength and a good mind.

domestic violence prevention for native people

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