double exposure · web viewah, i think hector has been shopping online. oh, i’m really thirsty,...

Episode 2

Narrative

ANNIE [reading email message/replying to email]‘What’s he like?’Oh. ‘Argentinian …tall … handsome.’‘Oh, wow, fantastic! A new boyfriend for you maybe!’ [Laughs/sneezes]‘Maybe, but don’t tell Bridget!’

BRIDGETHector please, call me Gigi.

ANNIEOh Hector, call me Gigi.Oh. [sending email] ‘Must go. More news later. A.’

BRIDGETIs Hector still asleep?

ANNIEYep.

BRIDGETAah.Hector, wakey-wakey.Come on, rise and shine.

Hector makes snoring noises

ANNIESweet!

BRIDGETOh, good morning. [Sneezes]

HECTOROh, good morning. [Sneezes]

ANNIEUh, no, no, no, good morning, ah-ah-ah.

HECTORGood morning, ah-ah-ah.

ANNIENo Hector, I have a cold.

BRIDGETAnd so have I.

HECTOROh you have a cold, Bridget.

BRIDGET

Episode 2 Hector Goes Shopping1

Yes, I have a cold.

ANNIEYes, we have a cold, so let’s begin again.Good morning.

HECTORGood morning.

BRIDGETOh never mind.Hector, would you like some … … New pyjamas?

HECTORMmm?

BRIDGETHector, please excuse me for a moment.Annie, bathroom. Now!

HECTORGood morning.

NICKGood morning.Is it fancy dress?

HECTORFancy dress?Yes.

NICKOh, nice.Hey, nice car, ay.

HECTORI have this car at home.

NICKWow, you have this car at home.

HECTORAhm.

NICKGirls must love you.

HECTORGirls, no.

NICKNo?Hector, can I tell you something?

HECTOROK.


NICKThe car looks good.

HECTORAh-ay.

NICKAy.So you must look good too! Ha-hmm?

HECTORI look good!

NICKNo.You don’t look good.But I can help.

HECTOROK!

NICKOK!

BRIDGETHector’s clothes are awful!

ANNIEOh, they’re so old fashioned!

BRIDGETI know, I’ll take him shopping.

ANNIEBut Bridget you’re so busy that I’ll take him shopping.

BRIDGETNo, it’s all right, I’ll take him shopping.

ANNIEBut there’s no problem, I’ll take him shopping.

BRIDGETI said I’ll take him shopping!!

Sound of sneezing

NICKYou need, you need a – oh hi, babe!

BRIDGETOh it’s you, Nick.

ANNIEOh hi, Nick.


NICKHector has asked me what clothes to wear.

BRIDGETYeah, right.

NICKYou need a look, like on a fast bike.

BRIDGETNo, no, no, no, Hector, don’t listen to Nick, listen to me.

HECTOROK.

BRIDGETYou need a designer look.

ANNIENo, no, no, Hector, that’s not for you.You need, you need a cowboy look.

NICKNo, no, a leather jacket.

BRIDGETA bandanna and a vest.

ANNIEA denim shirt.

NICKA motor bike!

BRIDGETDesigner!

ANNIECowboy!

HECTORAh, stop!!OK, I will go shopping.

BRIDGETWhat?

ANNIEOn your own?

NICKBut – you need us!

HECTORAh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.

ANNIE


How?What will you say?

HECTORErm …

NICKIt’s OK, leave it to me.I am the shopkeeper, you are the customer.

HECTORUh?

NICKThis is a shop.I sell, you buy.

HECTOROh, OK.Oh, ding-dong.Good morning.

NICKGood morning!Can I help you?

HECTORYes.I … I …

NICKI would like …

HECTORI would like … a jacket, please.

NICKTrousers.

HECTORUh?

NICKI would like a pair of trousers please.

HECTOROh, I would like a pair of trou-sers please.- And a shirt.

NICKNo. shoes.I would like a pair of shoes, please.

HECTORI would like a pair of shoes, please.And a cat for my head.

NICK


I think you mean a hat.

HECTOREh?

NICKThis is a cat!

HECTOR[Laughs]A cat for my head!

ANNIEHector, come shopping with me.

BRIDGETOr me.

ANNIENo, me.

BRIDGETHe’s my pen friend!

NICKAll right!Me, you and you will go shopping for Hector a little bit eachI will go to the shoe shop.

ANNIEAnd I will go to the clothes shop.

BRIDGETNo, I’ll go to the clothes shop!

ANNIEOK, I’ll just buy the shirt.

BRIDGETI’ll buy the trousers!

NICKGood! Hah!

HECTORGood.

ANNIERight, let’s go!Oh, no, I completely forgot!We need, eggs, lemons and dog food.Oh, it’s all right, I’ll do it on line later.

HECTOREggs, lemon, dog food.

ANNIEOh well done, Hector.


BRIDGETBye Hector.Oh and don’t answer the phone, it might be the tarantula.

HECTOROK.

NICKBye Hector, be good.And if you can’t be good, be careful.Ha-ha.

HECTOREh?

NICKNever mind!

ANNIE [sending email]‘Nadia I have a cold. Bridget has a cold and Hector has …’

BRIDGET… New pyjamas.

ANNIE [sending email]‘Terrible pyjamas.Oh, you should see them Nadia.They are so funny!’

BRIDGET [sending email]‘Hi, sweetie.I wanted to buy Hector some new clothes on my own.’I’ll take him shopping.‘But Annie and Nick said they wanted to shop for Hector as well.So guess what?We’re all going shopping for Hector.’

NICKMe, you and you can go shopping for Hector, a little bit each.

BRIDGET [sending email]‘What will he look like?’

NICK [sending email]‘And Annie thinks Hector needs a cowboy look.’

ANNIEHe needs a cowboy look!

NICK [sending email]But I think he needs a biker look like me! Yeah!

NICKYou need a look, like on a fast bike!


HECTORGood morning sir.I would like a cat for my head!Oh, room service.Hello, I would like an egg for my head, ha-ha!Lemons for my head!

Intercom buzzes

HECTOROh, dog food for my head.

Landlady [Speaking on intercom]Who’s that?

HECTORAah!The tarantula!

Landlady [Speaking on intercom]I said, who’s that?

HECTORHello.

Landlady [Speaking on intercom]Where’s Bridget?

HECTORErm, where is Bridget?Me, I am Bridget.

Landlady [Speaking on intercom]I don’t believe you.

HECTORYes, I have a cold! [Sneezes]

Landlady [Speaking on intercom]Oh, I’m sorry.

HECTOR[Sneezes]Oh, thank you. [Sneezes]

Dog barks

HECTORSsh!Charlie!

Landlady [Speaking on intercom]Is that a dog?

HECTORNo, no, it is not a dog, … Annie has a cold also!

Landlady [Speaking on intercom]


Oh, poor Annie.

HECTORThank you.[Sneezes]Now goodbye![Sneezes]Oh, oh ole!I am Hector, I speak Englis …Eggs, lemons, dog food. Eggs, lemons, dog food.

HECTOROh hi, [erm] good, good afternoon Annie.

ANNIEGood afternoon Hector.I bought this for you.

HECTOROh, what is it?

ANNIETry it on.

HECTOREh?

ANNIETRY IT ON!

HECTORTRY IT ON?Oh, try it on!Oh, ah.

BRIDGETWhere’s Hector?

ANNIEIn the bathroom.

BRIDGETGood.I’ll give this to him.

ANNIEIt’s OK, I’ll give it to him!

BRIDGETNo, it’s all right.

Sound of knocking on door

BRIDGETHector …

ANNIE


Hector …

BRIDGETI’ve got something for you.

HECTOROh, OK.Come in.

BRIDGETSpoil sport!

NICKHector!Hector!

HECTORHello.

NICKHere are your clothes, you will look so cool.

HECTORCool?

NICKCo-ol.

HECTORCool!

NICKNice melons!

BRIDGETMelons?Who are those from?

ANNIEAh, I think Hector has been shopping online.Oh, I’m really thirsty, I need a drink.

BRIDGETBut we don’t need any melons!

ANNIEWell he did try!And he bought some eggs.Yeah, just a few.

NICK [sending email]‘Yo Dan!Hector did the shopping today.’Nice melons.‘He bought one hundred and forty four eggs.’


ANNIEJust a few.

NICK‘And ten melons instead of ten lemons.’What an idiot.Ha!

HECTORI would like some eggs please.I would like some lemons please.And oh, dog food for my head!Ha, ha, ha, thank you!

ANNIE [sending email]‘I went shopping for Hector today and bought him something really cool!I cannot wait for him to try it on.’ANNIETRY IT ON.

BRIDGET [sending email]‘I went to the clothes shop and bought Hector a really trendy outfit!He will look just like David Beckham!’

BRIDGETI’ve got something for you!

ANNIESo how did Hector do the shopping?Ah-ha!Hector ordered ten melons instead of ten lemons.Oh, an easy mistake, he did try.

BRIDGETYes, he did try.

NICKAnd what about the eggs?

ANNIEOK, eggs.You buy a dozen eggs, yeah.

NICKYep, a dozen is ten.

BRIDGETA dozen is twelve, stupid!

NICKI know!

ANNIEWell Hector has put the number twelve here.

NICKWell that’s OK, that’s one box.


ANNIENo, he ordered twelve boxes.

BRIDGETOne hundred and forty four.

ANNIENow, dog food.

NICKHa, ha, I can’t wait!

HECTOROK, I’m ready!

NICKWe’re ready!

BRIDGETEnter!

HECTORDo you like it?Well?

ANNIEAh [erm] I like the shirt.

BRIDGETI like the sarong.

NICKI like the shoes.

HECTORSo, am I co-ol?

NICK, BRIDGET & ANNIE[Erm].

HECTORNo.I’m not cool.

NICK, BRIDGET & ANNIE[Erm] no.

HECTORSo, I will go shopping.

NICKHere we go again.Hector! You can’t go out there on your own.You went shopping on the Internet.

HECTOR


Yes.

NICKHa-ha!You ordered melons instead of lemons and too many eggs.Have you ever been to a supermarket?

HECTORNo.My …

NICK Who are these?

HECTORMy …

NICK… Servants.

HECTORYeah, my servants..

NICKServants.Now I understand.

BRIDGETCome on Hector, I will teach you how to shop, Hector …

ANNIE‘Till you drop.Bridget and I will be the shopkeepers.

BRIDGETAnd you are our customer!

HECTOROK. [Clears throat]Good afternoon.

BRIDGETGood afternoon!

ANNIECan I help you sir?

HECTOREh?

BRIDGETWhat would you like to buy?

HECTOROh, I would like some …

ANNIE


… Clothes!

HECTORYes, I would like some clothes, please.

BRIDGETWhat size?

HECTOREh?

BRIDGETWhat … size.

HECTORI don’t know.

BRIDGETI’ll have to measure you then.Arms up please.

HECTOREh?

ANNIEArms up, please.

HECTOROh, arms up, please.

BRIDGETChest.Ooh! One hundred and twelve centimetres!

ANNIEChest, one hundred and twelve centimetres.

BRIDGETAnd waist.Eighty two centimetres.

ANNIEWaist, eighty two centimetres.

BRIDGETAnd … l-e-g!! [laughs] …

NICKI’ll do that!

BRIDGETNo, it’s OK!

NICK[Clears throat]Eight-ty seven centimetres!

BRIDGET


Now, do you like these trousers?

ANNIEDo you like this shirt?

HECTORYe-es.

BRIDGETGood, that’s [erm] …Five thousand pounds.

HECTOROK.

ANNIENo, no, no Hector.Five thousand pounds is, is … eight thousand dollars!

HECTORYeah.

BRIDGETIt’s too much, it’s too expensive.

NICKNot for Hector!

HECTORSo, I am ready to go shopping!Ha ha!

ANNIEGood luck.

BRIDGETYeah, good luck.

NICKYou’ll need it!

BRIDGET & ANNIE [Sneezing]

BRIDGETWhere’s my lemon drink, Nick?

ANNIENick, are there any more tissues?

NICKAll right, I’m coming as fast as I can!OK.

ANNIEOh, I feel awful.

BRIDGET


Oh, me too.Nothing will make me feel better.

Sound of knocking on door

ANNIEOh, can you get that please Nick?

NICKOh, it’s only Hector.

HECTORWell, is it cool?

NICKWow, man! Well done!You look great!

HECTORI would like a shirt, please.

BRIDGETExcellent!Oh the clothes are super!

HECTORAnd a pair of trou-sers.

ANNIEOh, you are clever, Hector!

HECTORAnd a pair of shoes, please! [Laughs]I have been shopping!

Sound of intercom

BRIDGETOh, I’ll get it.Hello.

Landlady [Speaking on intercom]It’s me.

BRIDGETOh, hello.It’s the tarantula!How are you?

Landlady [Speaking on intercom]Fine, thank you.

BRIDGETOh, good, good.

Landlady [Speaking on intercom]How’s your cold?


BRIDGETHow’s my cold?Well how did you know I have a cold?

Landlady [Speaking on intercom]You told me this morning.

HECTORMe, I am Bridget.

Landlady [Speaking on intercom]I don’t believe you.

HECTORYes, I have a cold. [Sneezes]

Landlady [Speaking on intercom]Oh, I’m sorry.

HECTORThank you.[Sneezes]

BRIDGETYes, silly me!I told you this morning.

Landlady [Speaking on intercom]Why are four hundred tins of dog food here for Annie?

BRIDGETPardon?I don’t know.… Well, how strange!

Landlady [Speaking on intercom]Four hundred tins.

BRIDGETYes, that’s a lot of tins.Well I really don’t know.

Landlady [Speaking on intercom]Can you ask Annie?

BRIDGETYes, I’ll ask Annie, goodbye.The tarantula said, why have four hundred tins of dog food downstairs?

ANNIEFour hundred tins?

NICK, BRIDGET & ANNIEHector!!


COMMENTARY [v.o.]Next time in EXTRA.Annie goes dating on the Internet and so do Nick and Hector, but do they like their dates?Extra – don’t miss it!


double exposure · web viewah, i think hector has been shopping online. oh, i’m really thirsty,...

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