10 THINGS YOU SHOULD KNOW BEFORE YOU KILL YOURSELF
Hello Sir
I guess you’re pretty serious about committing
suicide if you’re searching for it on the internet.
There’s a hell of a lot of information out there but I
wanted to tell you ten things you should know
before you kill yourself.
First of all, I know you are probably a guy. That’s
because 78% of people who take their own lives are
male. There are lots of reasons for that, but the
main one is that you keep everything bottled up
inside you because you’re trying to ‘be there’ for
everyone else. You don’t have to you know.
Talking about how you’re feeling is the bravest
thing a man can ever do. But that’s not why I’m
here.
I’m here to tell you what happens next after you
decide to end your pain.
ONE (1) :
The person who finds your body is probably your
wife or one of your kids. You will have chosen a
method that is violent and the image of your dead
body with the noose, the gun or the plastic bag will
be forever etched on the mind of that person who
finds you.
It will be the last thing she sees before she goes to
sleep and the first image she sees upon waking. It
will flash into her mind at random moments and
leave her completely traumatised. She will forever
associate colours, smells, shapes, and noises with
that moment when her life was fractured into
pieces.
TWO (2) :
When the police arrive, they will treat your wife as
a suspect. Your death will be deemed as
‘suspicious’ and the house will be cordoned off as a
crime scene. Ambulances, fire-engines and police
cars will line the street. People will crane their
necks to see what is going on.
Your private decision will become the subject of
public speculation. The room where you died will
never be able to be used again. There will be stains
on the chair, on the carpet, on the walls. Most
likely, your family will have to move.
THREE (3) :
Your private life will be raked over by the police
who will go through your wallet, your phone and
your computer looking for someone to blame for
your death. All the while, your wife will be unable
to eat or sleep and her tears will make her beautiful
eyes haunted and lost.
FOUR (4) :
There will be an autopsy to determine how you
died. There will be questions about your
relationship, your job, your finances, your health
and your drug and alcohol consumption. If you’ve
managed to destroy your body in your final act,
your wife will have to formally identify you.
She will no longer remember you as alive and
breathing, she will only remember you lying still,
battered and violated on the cold slab of a
mortuary.
And all the time, the voice in her head will
scream “Why?” That voice never stops.
FIVE (5) :
Your wife won’t be able to work for a long while
and the money will run out. It will take months,
maybe even years for her to get any sort of payout.
And if you haven’t left a will, she will have to
prove to the courts that she is entitled to your
money. Lawyers will ask if there was another
woman, other children, another life. She will have
to prove that she was your wife over and over
again.
SIX (6) :
Your friends and family will find it difficult to
believe that you did this without provocation. They
will search for someone to blame. And that person
will be your wife. They will whisper that she drove
you to it. They will find it hard to be around her.
She will have to survive this thing on her own.
SEVEN (7) :
Your wife will blame herself. No matter what the
circumstances, she will know that she didn’t love
you enough or support you enough to keep you
alive. Her sense of failure will overwhelm her. She
will relive the last days and hours before your death
searching for the moment when she could have
made a difference.
EIGHT (8) :
If they report your death in the papers, the
journalist will be deliberately vague. You will join
the long list of men who have been “found dead”.
They will never print the word suicide, but
everyone will know what happened.
“… Smith was found dead at his home in Los
Angeles. The cause of death has not been
confirmed, but police have said it did not appear
to be suspicious.” ~ BBC News
Even your wife and children will rarely mention the
word suicide when telling your story. They will
fabricate a lie to cover their shame and hurt. Saying
you died of a heart attack is the usual thing.
NINE (9) :
Your son won’t have you around to teach him how
to drive. Your daughter will have no-one to walk
her down the aisle on her wedding day. Your wife
won’t have a safe place to go when her own pain
needs soothing. You will miss out on their lives.
TEN (10) :
This pain of losing you doesn’t heal. It eventually
gets numbed by the challenge of getting on with
life with a part missing, but the thought of you is
always just below the surface.
When you take your life, you take the life of your
wife, your kids, your parents, your siblings and
your friends. There is no choice for them. They
have to live with this burden for the rest of their
lives. No matter what you’ve done, no matter
who you are, no-one will be better off without
you.
I’m not here to tell you what to do with your life.
It’s up to you. All I want to do is tell you what
really happens to those of us left behind.
Sleep on it. Wait until tomorrow. Call someone.
Talk.
Stay alive. We need you. We love you more than
you’ll ever know.
If you or someone you know may be at risk of
suicide contact
beyondblue 1300 22 46 36, Lifeline 13 11 14
or Salvo Care Line 1300 36 36 22.
READ MORE (CLICK ON THE LINKS) ~
Why You Should End Your Life
Suicide • Why Nobody Loves Me Isn’t a Good
Enough Reason to Kill Yourself
Read more edgy, raw stories at
HEAD • HEART • HEALTH ←CLICK THE LINK
ABOUT KATIE PAUL
Embracing my midlife sexy
while figuring out modern
love & relationships +
devoted to all things
beautiful.
