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100Ways To Get Kicked Out Of Wal-Mart

1) Jump into someones cart and scream push me push me!2) Jump onto someone's back and yell "Giddy up Horsey!"3) Go get a Dora toy and skip around saying "Were going on an adventure" If a worker comes and

try to take away the Dora toy you yell Swipper, No SWIPPING!!"

4) Go get a spoon then go to the frozen foods section, then get a tub of ice cream and eat it fromthe tub.

5) Just get caught stealing6) Play tag in the store7) Play hide and seek in the store and hide in a dressing room that is occupied, that will get the

person angry which will tell a worker

8) Call a worker "Mother Load" and punch him/her really hard and then say "I've hit the MotherLode!"

9) Get a blanket, tie it around your neck and run around the store like your flying and say "I amSuper Man/Woman"

10)Go get a skateboard and ride it around the store. If you don't know how to skateboard then ridea bike or a scooter.

11)Bring your dog over and play fetch in Wal-Mart12)Start rapping Kanye West songs on the loud speaker13)Open up candy bags and then throw the candy at people.14)Get your book and go into a worker room. When the workers try to throw you out you say

"Shhhh!!! I am reading!"

15)Yell in the loud speaker All the produce, dairy items, and any edible snacks and food have ratpoop in it. Go to Target instead!

16)Annoy everyone who comes through the door.17)Take off your clothes and run around18)Steal some worker's clothes and act like you work there19)Get a tennis racket and tennis balls and hit the tennis balls around the store20)Pretend that you are robbing the place21)Hide in the clothes rack and jump out and scare people22)Set all the alarm clocks to go off in 10-minute intervals23)Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, Code 3 in housewares,and see

what happens.24)Go to the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&Ms on lay away.25)Find one of the workers who is making a pyramid or a display of something and as soon as they

are finished with it, ask for the thing thats on the bottom and have a panic attack until they give

it to you.

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26)Get on the loud speaker and declare a Going Out of Business Sale, All Items 99% Off 27)Buy a $200 item and pay for it all in pennies. Lose count at least two times.28)Dart around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the theme from Mission Impossible.29)Move a CAUTION WET FLOOR sign to a carpeted area.30)Sit down and relax on the patio furniture until they kick you out31)Set up a tent in the camping department32)Look right into the security camera, use it as a mirror and pick your nose.33)Take pictures of absolutely everything.34)When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask Why cant you people just leave me

alone?

35)Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say PICK ME! PICK ME!36)17. See what you can catch by casting fishing poles into different isles.37)18. Play football and see how many people you can get to join in.38)19. Play soccer using the whole store as your field39)20. Try on bras over your clothes in the middle of the store.40)Try to get people to race you across the store.41)Sit on the floor and watch T.V. in the electronics department.42)Pretend to speak a different language and see how many weird looks you get43)Superglue quarters to the floor and count how many people try to pick them up44)Switch all the radios to strange stations suck as polka or Mexican rap and turn the volume all the

way up.

45)Fill up carts and just leave them around the store.46)When someone is behind you in a narrow aisle, walk very slowly, humming to yourself.47)Drape a blanket around your shoulders and pretend to be superman.48)Walk up to random strangers and say I havent seen you in so long! etc.49)Do the same thing, except ask for their autograph.50)Play Red Rover with other customers. Except dont tell them that theyre playing.51)Test brushes and combs52)Take up an entire toy aisle with a G.I. Joe vs. Rescue Heroes battle of epic proportions.53)Take bets on the battle.54)Have sword fights with tubes of wrapping paper.55)Follow people.56)Play with the price scanners.57)Spray air-freshener everywhere.58)Play with the automatic doors.59)Make a pillow fort.60)Shopping cart races. Enough said.61)Crawl into gym bags and laundry hampers.62)48. Re-alphabetize the CDs63)49. Re-alphabetize the books.64)50. When someone steps away from their cart to look at something, quickly make off with it

without saying a word.

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65)51. Running around the store screaming Wal-Mart sucks, Wal-Mart sucks lets go to target!66)52. Buy a candy bar. Eat it. Get back in line. Buy another candy bar. Eat it. Get back in line.

Repeat until you get bored.

67)53. Drag a lounge chair on display over to the magazines, relax and if the store has a food court,buy a soft drink; explain that you dont get out much, ask if they can put a little umbrella in it.

68)57. Spill clear soap down an aisle.69)58. Talk to the lady at the cash register for a whole 20 minutes about unicorns.70)59. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and

scream. NO! NO! Its those voices again!!!!

71)60. Pretend to be a monkey and get on all fours screaming Oo-oo-aaa-aa! And attack whoeverbuys bananas.

72)Go into the dressing room, wait a few minutes, then yell THERES NO TOILET PAPER IN HERE!!73)If an employee comes within 30 ft. scream GET AWAY FROM ME!!! Then run out of the store

screaming

74)Glare menacingly at anyone who comes within 40 ft. of you. Then hiss like a snake and act likeyoure going to bite them

75)Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from Mission: Impossible.76)Dress up in a trench coat & wear sunglasses. Walk up to someone browsing and say The

rooster is in the nest Wait for a reply. After they finish talking, hand them a cap gun and

whisper use this wisely.

77)Walk up to a pizza place and ask for a McChicken78)Climb up a ladder & try doing a King Kong thing79)Run through the make-up department and yell, Theres a dead body in aisle 3!!!80)Grab a can of whipped cream & find a bald guy Spray it on his head81)Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles82)Try all of the sodas and put them back then say, Yup, that stuffs not poisonous.83)Ride around in a Barbie jeep with Barbie in the front seat and act like youre talking to her by

saying Lets blow this joint!

84)Do your own radio show over the intercom85)Knock over all the shelves and run around screaming EARTHQUAKE! EVERYON RUN!86)Grab some pampers Pull-Ups and while buying them yell at the clerk Mommy, guess what? Im

a big kid now!!

87)Go into the bedding department and with cookies in your hand lay on a bed then pretend yourehaving a nightmare about cookies and yell COOKIE!! COOKIE!!!! NOOOOOO!!!! Then start

rolling around

88)Make evil eyes at someone and start whispering, Im the little girl from the well Ive beenwaiting

89)Go to the cafeteria area and buy fries. Then stand by the door and when people walk throughthrow the fries above their head like theyre getting married

90)Look at old people with wide eyes saying, I see dead people!91)Chase your friends up and down aisles trying to run over them with those electric cars. Make

sure to tell your friends to act like they dont know you.

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92)Spend all your money riding on those little rides for toddlers. Fit the character; if you on a horse,then pretend that youre a cowboy, etc. And if a little kid comes over wanting to use it, start

barking at them until they run away crying

93)Have silly string fights with a friend. Hide behind customers and accidentally hit the peopleinstead of your friend.

94)Draw mustaches on all the pictures and mannequins.95)Walk up to the customer service and when they say Hello, how may I help you? say Yes, Ill

have a Quarter Pounder with cheese, one strawberry shake, a large order of French fries and a

diet coke. And when they start to talk, say Oh, to go. Then when they say that they cant give

it to you say Oh, This is because Im gay isnt it? Id expect this from McDonalds, but not Wal-

Mart

96)Spend hours staring at a little blinking light. After a while, start saying blink every time it blinks.Dont look away, just stay mesmerized

97)Try on crazy costumes and walk casually through the store.98)Walk up to someone and say Oh, so youre back for more. I warned you never to come back

here. Wait here while I go get my shot gun. Then walk away.

99)Start hitting on the mannequins.100) Super-glue a quarter to the floor and count how many people try to pick it up.