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Grandpa Ken
Reads
Old Books
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Advice to a Young Manon the
Choice of a Mistress
Benjamin Franklin
1745
Benjamin FranklinJune 25, 1745
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Advice to a Young Man
on theChoice of a Mistress
(Old Mistresses Apologue)
Benjamin Franklin1745
NarrationRick Rodstrom
(Librivox)
ProducedKenneth Kunz
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Kenamar Corp.
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June 25, 1745
My dear Friend,
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I know of no Medicinefit to diminishthe violent natural
inclinations you mention;
and if I did,
I think I should notcommunicate it to you.
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Marriageis the proper Remedy.
It is the most natural
State of Man,
and thereforethe State in which youare most likely
to find solid Happiness.
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Your Reasonsagainst entring into it
at present,
appear to me not well-founded.
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The circumstantialAdvantages you have inViewby postponing it,
are not only uncertain,
but they are smallin comparison withthat of the Thing itself,
the being married andsettled.
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It isthe Man and Woman
united
that makethe compleat humanBeing.
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Separate,
she wants his Force ofBody and Strength of
Reason;
he,her Softness,Sensibility
and acute Discernment.
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Together they are morelikelyto succeed in the World.
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A single Man
has not nearly the Valuehe would havein that State of Union.
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He is an incomplete
Animal.
He resembles the odd Halfof a Pair of Scissars.
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If youget a prudent healthyWife,
your Industryin your Profession,
with her good Economy,
will be a Fortunesufficient.
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Butif you will not take thisCounsel,and persist in thinkinga Commerce with the Sexinevitable,
then I repeat my formerAdvice,
that in all your Amoursyou should
prefer old Womento young ones.
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You call this a Paradox,
and demand myReasons.
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They are these:
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1.
Because as they have
more Knowledge of theWorldand their Mindsare better stordwith Observations,
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their Conversation
is more improvingand more lastinglyagreable.
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2.
Because when Womencease to be handsome,
they study to be good.
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To maintaintheir Influence over Men,
they supplythe Diminution of Beautyby an Augmentation ofUtility.
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They learnto do a 1000 Servicessmall and great,
and are the most tenderand useful of all Friendswhen you are sick.
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Thus they continueamiable.
And hence there is hardlysuch a thing to be foundas an old Womanwho is not a good Woman.
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3.
Becausethere is no hazard ofChildren,
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which irregularly producd
may be attendedwith much Inconvenience.
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4.
Because thro more
Experience,
they are more prudentand discreet in conductingan Intrigue to preventSuspicion.
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The Commerce with them
is therefore saferwith regard to yourReputation.
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And with regard totheirs,
if the Affair
should happen to beknown,
considerate Peoplemight be rather inclindto excuse an old Woman
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who would kindly takecareof a young Man,
form his Mannersby her good Counsels,
and prevent his ruininghis Health and Fortuneamong mercenaryProstitutes.
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5.
Because in every Animalthat walks upright,
the Deficiency of theFluids that fill theMusclesappears first
in the highest Part:
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The Face first grows lackand wrinkled;
then the Neck;
then the Breast and Arms;
the lower Parts continuingto the last
as plump as ever:
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So that covering allabovewith a Basket,
and regardingonly what is below theGirdle,
it is impossible of twoWomen to knowan old from a young one.
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And as in the darkall Cats are grey,
the Pleasureof corporal Enjoyment
with an old Womanis at least equal,
and frequently superior,
every Knackbeing by Practicecapable of Improvement.
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6.
Because the Sin is less.
The debauching a Virginmay be her Ruin,
and make her for Lifeunhappy.
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7.
Because the Compunctionis less,
the having made
a young Girl miserablemay give youfrequent bitterReflections;
none of whichcan attend the makingan old Woman happy.
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8thly and Lastly
They are so grateful!!
Thus much for myParadox.
But still I advise youto marry directly.
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Being sincerely,
your affectionate Friend,
BenjaminFranklin
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