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Am I the Problem?
Gillian MartinTrainer, Speaker & Social EntrepreneurCaptivating Solutions [email protected]
After a heated debate with his supervisor, John rushes to the water
cooler to keep his cool (and his sanity)
“Why is Mary so stiff-necked? Why is she always breathing down my neck?” he mutters to himself
Mary, John’s supervisor is equally annoyed and wonders to herself:
“Why is John so carefree and disorganized?”
Both John and Mary need to take a look at the man in the mirror
It is important to do a self-analysis whenever conflicts arise and ask the
very vital question: “Am I the problem?”
In her capacity of supervisor, Mary needs to ensure that she displays a high level of emotional intelligence
by managing her emotions as well as that of her the person she leads
The conflict should end with both parties being calm
The relationship between the parties can improve if a collaborative
approach is applied when handling the conflict
This approach allows both parties to express their needs and find
solutions that will satisfy both sides
Mary should also help John to improve in his weak areas by providing
recommendations for improvement and coaching
Mary also needs to recognize John’s potential and utilize his strengths
On the other hand, John needs to adopt Peter Drucker’s philosophy:
“The best way to predict the future is to create it”
If John wants Mary to stop “breathing down his neck”, he needs to ensure that he takes pride in his work and
presents his work in such a way that he wins her confidence and respect
This should prompt Mary to give him a greater level of empowerment
Both John and Mary should observe each other’s preferences and
personality styles
The relationship will improve when each party provides what the other
party needs
In accordance with the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator which identifies
different personality types, John has the personality of a Perceiver and
Mary is a Judger
Perceivers tend to have a flexible work style while Judgers are
organized
Ultimately, the success of the relationship is heavily dependent on
compromise and mutual respect
The next time the reflection of your relationship is about to be smeared by conflict, wouldn’t it be good to first take a look at the man in the mirror and ask the question: “Am I
the problem?”
All honour to the Lord Jesus Christ who arms us with the skills to
manage conflicts
Some Workshops Offered by Captivating Solutions Consultancy Include:
Conflict Management: “The Real Winner”
Anger Management: “Serenity at Last”
Team Building: “Harmony at Work”Leadership: “The Anchor”Creating a Healthy Environment:
“Close for Comfort”Managing Your Emotions: “Cool,
Calm, Collected… and Happy!”