Anger Management 9
Session ProtocolDr. Dawn-Elise Snipes PhD, LMHC
Executive Director, AllCEUs.com
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Objectives Learn about anger and it’s functions
Explore events and cues
Develop an anger control plan
Learn about the aggression cycle and how to change it
Review the ABCDEs and thought stopping
Assertiveness and conflict resolution skills
Alternatives for expressing anger
Relaxation Interventions
Explore how past learning from your family of origin can influence current behavior
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Session One: Learn About Anger
Anger is an emotion triggered by a threat which
prompts the fight (aggression) or flight reaction
Hostility refers to a set of attitudes, thoughts and
judgments that motivate aggressive behaviors.
Aggression is behavior that is intended to protect
oneself by causing harm or injury to another
person or damage to property. (Fight or Flee)
Many times what we initially perceive as a threat
is not currently one
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Session 1 cont.
Misperceptions
Example: Fire alarm
Example: Sean and Elias
Initial experience: Brewster perceived a danger
Future experiences—Elias is associated with a threat
Example: Rescues
Initial experience: A man hurt you
Future experiences are overgeneralized: All men are dangerous
Example: Domestic Violence
Initial experience: Raised voices leads to violence
Future experiences: Anytime someone raises their voice it is a threat
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Session 1 Anger becomes a problem when it is felt too
intensely, is felt too frequently, or is expressed inappropriately
How does anger affect you:
Physically: Sleep, pain, GI, immunity
Emotionally: Regret, guilt, feeling helpless
Socially: Fear vs. respect, negative impact on relationships
Occupationally: How you work with others, customer service
Spiritually: Your sense of connectedness to and impact within the world, karma
Environmentally: Break stuff, holes in walls, throw out things impulsively
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Session 1… Anger initially has apparent payoffs (e.g., releasing
tension, controlling people).
In the long-term, however, these payoffs often lead to negative consequences.
What benefits/payoffs does anger have for you?
Habits are things we do almost automatically.
In what ways is anger a habit
How can you use mindfulness to start to break that habit?
I am angry?
What am I angry about?
Is this actually a threat to me?
What is the best response in this situation to help me achieve my goals
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Session 1
Identify anger control strategies you have used in
the past
Which ones worked? Why?
Which ones didn’t work? Why?
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Session 1 Homework: Keep a log of your anger intensity the next week.
Keeping a log helps you become more aware of your triggers and cues
and see your progress.
On the top of the page, put the date (use a different sheet each day)
Make 3 columns with the following headers
9
Episode
Briefly state what happened
Intensity1: Mildly
irritated
2:Moderately
irritated
3: Angry
4: Enraged
Duration1: got over it quickly
2: Stewed on it for
less than an hour
3: It bothered me for
a couple hours
4: It ruined my day
1.
2.
3.
4.
Session 2: Identifying Triggers, Events & Cues When you get angry, it’s because you have encountered an
something that has made you feel threatened (provoked you)
What are some general situations that make you irritable? Angry or
enraged?
Many times, specific events touch on sensitive areas. These
sensitive areas or “red flags” usually refer to long-standing
issues that can easily lead to anger
Loss of Control
Rejection/Isolation
Death/Loss
Failure
Why does each of these “sensitive areas” make you feel
threatened/trigger your anger?
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10
Long waits at the doctor
Traffic
A friend joking about a sensitive
topic
A friend not paying back $
Being wrongly accused
Having to clean up after someone
Having an untidy roommate
Having a neighbor who plays the
stereo too loud
Being placed on hold forever
Rumors being spread about you
Having something stolen
Ingratitude
Someone openly contradicting you
Not getting a promotion
Session 2 cont… Cues are indicators that you are getting angry.
Cues can be broken down into four cue categories:
Physical Cues (how your body responds; e.g., with an increased heart rate,
tightness in the chest, feeling hot or flushed)
Behavioral Cues (what you do; e.g., clench your fists, raise your voice, stare
at others)
Emotional Cues (other feelings that may occur along with anger; e.g., fear,
hurt, jealousy, disrespect)
Cognitive Cues (what you think about in response to the event; e.g., hostile
self-talk (“I’ll fix her little red wagon!”), images of aggression and revenge)
Review your anger log from last week and identify your common cues.
What strategies can you use to become more aware of and deal with
these cues?
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Session 3: Vulnerabilities Vulnerabilities are those things that make you more
likely to respond with anger
Types
Emotional: Overwhelmed, irritable about something else, stressed out, feeling sensitive or vulnerable
Cognitive: Expecting a negative outcome from a situation, person or meeting
Physical: Low blood sugar, alcohol, too much caffeine, pain, illness, insufficient sleep
Social: Being in situations that make you feel more on edge, or around people that tend to trigger anger or be negative themselves
What are your vulnerabilities and how can you best prevent or mitigate them?
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Session 3..cont Homework from last week
What was the highest number you reached
What triggered that anger episode
What were the cues associated with the behavior
Physical
Behavioral
Emotional
Cognitive
What strategies did you use to avoid reaching 10 on the anger meter?
Are there particular “threat themes?”
What vulnerabilities may have existed that day?
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Session 4: Anger Control Plan An effective plan should include both immediate and preventive
strategies
Immediate Strategies
Time out
When might you use it. How might you do it?
Distract with activities (doing something or listening to music),opposite emotions or taking a mental vacation
Block the situation from your mind temporarily (Thought Stopping)
What are some thought stopping statements you can use?
Practice mindfulness in 3s
Breathe!
Talk to a friend or journal
Create meaning.
Exercise
Radically Accept---It is what it is.
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Session 4 cont… Preventative Strategies
What general things can you do to prevent or minimize vulnerabilities?
Emotional
Mental
Physical
Social
When you are vulnerable for some reason, what can you do to reduce the chances that you will get angry?
Emotional
Mental
Physical
Social
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Session 4 cont… Review your anger log from last week. What immediate
strategies could you have used? What preventative
strategies might have made a difference?
Develop a plan to start reducing one or two vulnerabilities
each month
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Session 5: The Aggression Cycle
An episode of anger can be viewed as consisting of three phases:
Escalation: Event and responses/cues/thoughts/feelings
What can you do when you notice emotional, physical, cognitive or social cues?
Explosion: Verbal or physical aggression urges
What can you do when you have the urge to be aggressive?
Postexplosion: Negative Consequences (emotional, cognitive, legal, social,
physical)
Review your anger log from last week and identify the event that
got you most angry or had the most negative consequences and
identify what you could have done to
Reduce the escalation
Prevent the explosion
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17
Session 5 Cognitive Distortions are unhelpful ways of perceiving things.
Think about a time something happened and you thought it was one way, but you turned out to be wrong.
Types
Personalization (All my fault/All about me)
3 other explanations
Minimization of the positive (Trained monkey)
What good happened, is happening or could come out of this?
Selective abstraction/Only seeing what you expect to see/Mental Filter
What are all the facts (Try taking someone else’s point of view)
Exaggeration of the negative/catastrophizing
How likely is this to happen
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Session 5 Cognitive Distortions
All or nothing
Find the exceptions
Control fallacy
What parts do you have control over?
Overgeneralization
How is this situation different?
Arbitrary inference (Flying)
What is the evidence
Emotional Reasoning: I feel angry, therefore this must be a threat.
What are the facts?
Review your anger log and identify any cognitive distortions that were in play.
What cognitive distortions were/are common in your family?
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Session 6: The A-B-C-D-E Model “A” stands for an activating event. The activating event is the
“event” or red-flag event.
“B” represents our beliefs about the activating event. It is not the
events themselves that produce feelings such as anger; it is our
interpretations and beliefs about the events.
“C” stands for the emotional consequences. These are the feelings
experienced as a result of interpretations and beliefs concerning the
event.
“D” stands for dispute. This part of the model involves identifying any
unhelpful beliefs and reframing them in alternate ways.
Identify the FACTS for and against your beliefs (Don’t use emotional
reasoning.)
Make sure you are not confusing high and low probability events
Identify and address thinking errors/cognitive distortions
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Session 6: The A-B-C-D-E Model “E” stands for evaluate your response options and choose the
one that gets you closer to those people and things that are
important in your life.
“Is this worth my energy?”
What is the best way to handle this?
Reviewing your anger log, identify the most intense anger
episode from last week and apply the ABCDE model
What strategies are you currently using to:
Become more aware of cues?
Reduce vulnerabilities?
Deal with anger to prevent it from escalating?
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Session 7: Assertiveness The basic message of aggression is that my feelings, thoughts, and
beliefs are very important and your feelings, thoughts, and beliefs are
unimportant.
The basic message of passivity is that your feelings, thoughts, and
beliefs are very important but my feelings, thoughts, and beliefs are
unimportant.
The basic message of assertiveness is that my feelings, thoughts, and
beliefs are important and your feelings, thoughts, and beliefs are
equally important.
Win/Win
Dialectics
What are some of the advantages of acting assertively when trying to
resolve conflicts?
What might some of the drawbacks to assertiveness be?
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Session 7 Conflict Resolution Model
1) Identify the problem.
2) Identify the cues.
3) Identify the specific impact
Own your beliefs and emotions (I felt that…, I thought that…, It caused…)
4) Deciding whether to resolve the conflict.
5) Addressing and resolving the conflict.
Create a win-win by expressing how changing the situation in the future will benefit that person
What are some ways you can resolve the conflict
Review your anger log for last week and apply the conflict resolution model to one episode.
What strategies are you using that seem to be helping?
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Session 8: Anger and the Family
We learn a lot about how to interpret events and cope with
distress by observing our family.
How was anger expressed in your family while you were growing up?
How did your father express anger?
How did your mother express anger?
Were you ever threatened with or exposed to physical violence?
How were other emotions, such as happiness and sadness, expressed in
your family?
Was emotional expression limited to feelings of anger and frustration, or
were many different kinds of emotions expressed?
What role did you take in your family? (Hero, rescuer, victim, wallflower,
scapegoat?)
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Session 8: Anger and the Family
We learn a lot about how to interpret events and cope with
distress by observing our family.
What messages did you receive about your father and men in general?
What messages did you receive about your mother and women in general?
Did you feel accepted and loved, or did you feel like you couldn’t do
anything right?
How did your family deal with failure?
What feelings, thoughts, and behaviors carry over into your relationships
today?
What purpose do these behaviors serve today?
Review your anger management plan from the past 7 weeks.
What has changed? What progress have you made? What still
needs to change? What strategies are working well?
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Session 9: Anger Myths Using what you have learned, dispute the following anger
myths…
Myth #1: Anger is inherited.
Myth #2: Anger automatically leads to aggression.
Myth #3: You must be aggressive to get what you want.
Myth #4: Venting anger is always desirable.
Myth #5: Anger is a negative emotion.
Myth #6: Anger is all in your head.
Myth #7: Venting or ignoring your anger makes it go away
Myth #8: Men are angrier than women
Men and women get angry over different things and often express it
differently
Men are more likely to be aggressive and impulsive in their expressions of
anger, women are more likely to use an indirect approach,
like cutting someone out of their lives, or stuff it and keep it in
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26
Session 9
Myth #9 "The older you get, the more angry you are. "The
data show that the angriest people are 14-year-old boys."
"As you go from 14 to 22 or so, it levels off and stays low, through
adulthood," he said. "As you get into middle age, in the 50s and
60s, it starts to go up again, but it never gets to the level it was
when you were 14."
Myth # 10: Anger results from human conflict.
Sometimes yes, sometimes no. People can get irritable by being
exposed to foul odors, aches and pains, and hot temperatures —
none of which involve (or can be blamed on) the actions of others.
Then they may react to something with unnecessary anger.
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Summary
Anger is a natural emotion. It is designed to alert people that there MIGHT be a problem.
When people are vulnerable or learned maladaptive ways of dealing with anger or simply never learned healthy coping skills they can experience anger management problems
Excessive anger negatively impacts people emotionally, mentally, physically, socially, occupationally, legally and spiritually.
Effective anger management involves preventing vulnerabilities, being aware of and working on “sensitive areas” or “threat areas,” preventing anger whenever possible and developing immediate coping responses to deal with it when it occurs.
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