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OXFORD HANDBOOK OF
Commercial
Correspondence
A.Ashley
O x f o r d
universitypress
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Introduction
age
5
1 Letters, faxes, and emails
2
Content and style
9
3 Enquiries
8
4
Replies and quotations
7
5
Orders
( 5
Payment
6
7
Complaints and adjustments
9
S
Credit
17
Banking
3 7
2t
Agents and agencies
68
Transportation and shipping
8 5
Insurance
21
Miscellaneous correspondence
4 1
1
,4
Memos and reports
50
a.Z
Personnel appointments
66
Answer key
82
Glossary
88
Index
97
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Co rrespondence, wh ether it is by letter, fax, or
email , is a key aspect of the wo rld of com merce
and b usiness. It reflects on the com petence and
professionalism o f the person wh o h as w ritten
it and the company he or she wo rks for. Clear,
effective co rrespondence is a n im portant part
of running an efficient business, and c an
promote go od relations. Unclear or confusing
correspondence can cause many problems,
and ca n lead to m isunderstandings, delays,
lost business, and poor relations between
individuals, departments, and com panies.
Therefore, w riting skills w hat is written and
how
it is expressed should be as m uch a part
of a business education as acco untancy or
economics.
The O xford Handbook of Com m ercial
Correspondence
is intended for people w ho
need to write com m ercial correspondence in
English as part of their work , and for students
of business and com merce w ho plan to ma ke a
career in the business world. It aim s to provide
practical help in writing com m ercial
correspondence o f all kinds, including letters,
faxes, emails, reports, memos, social
correspondence, and application letters and
cvs. It explains how to w rite clearly and
effectively, and dem onstrates how it is possible
to be polite without seeming timid, direct yet
not rude, concise rather than abrupt, and firm
but not inflexible.
Users of earlier editions of this boo k w ill
notice that, wh ile it retains the core elem ents
of previous editions, this third edition ha s been
revised and upda ted to reflect changes and
developments in com m ercial correspondence,
in particular the wider use of em ail in the
business world.
The b ook deals with the structure,
presentation, content, and style of all kinds of
correspondenc e. It covers various types of
transaction including enquiries, quotations,
orders, payments, credit, complaints, and
adjustments, and provides background
information and examples of com m ercial
correspondence from the main types of
com mercial organization, for exam ple banks,
insurance com panies, agencies, and
companies involved in transportation,
including shipping.
For the purposes of this book, we ha ve
chosen the blocked style of correspondence
with no punctuation and have used some
representative styles of presentation and
layout. You m ay find other ways of doing
things which are perfectly acceptable, and
individual com panies m ay have their own
preferred style for correspondence . The mo st
impo rtant thing is to be clear and c onsistent in
whatever you choose to do.
Unit 1 introduces the three ma in kinds of
com mercial correspondence letters, faxes,
and em ails. The characteristic features of each
are illustrated w ith exam ples, and guidance is
given on when each kind should be used. Unit 2,
again fully illustrated with examples, deals
with the im portant areas of content and style.
Each unit thereafter follows the sam e pattern:
An introduction to the topics covered in the
unit, and a n explanation of key terminology
and the functions of the organizations likely
to be involved.
An analysis of the objectives to aim for w hen
you are writing, w ith, wh ere appropriate,
lists of alterna tive phrases, sentences, or
paragraphs w hich you c an substitute in
different situations.
Exam ple correspondence and transactions,
together with comprehension questions
focusing on content, vocab ulary, style, and
the roles of the correspond ents.
At the end of the unit, a summ ary of key
information in 'Points to remem ber' to
refresh your m emory.
At the back of the book yo u will find:
An answer key to the comprehension
questions.
A new glossary of useful business and
com mercial vocabulary to help you
consolidate and build your know ledge.
A revised and extended index to help you
access information throughout the book
quickly and easily.
The acco mpanying Workbook provides
supplementary practice m aterial.
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The c orrespondence and do cuments used
reflect authentic transactions and supply
informa tion abo ut com mercial practice in the
UK. The Handbo ok also helps you to gain a
better understanding of the som etim es
confusing roles of different com merc ial
organizations, e.g. merchant bank s and
commercial banks, Lloyd's and other insurance
com panies, The Baltic Exc hange and the
Shipping Conference.
The Ox ford Handbook of Comm ercial
Correspondence
has been designed to provide
a co mprehensive guide and reference to the
essential writing skills needed in the
com mercial world. Above all, we hope that this
book will enable you to improve your writing
skills so that you can approach a ny business
writing task with increased confidence.
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O i p
Letters
8
LAYOUT 1
Lt)
8
Sender's address
8
Date
I
8
Inside address
Di
1 0
Attention line
1 0
Salutation
1 1
Body of the letter
1 1
Complimentary close
Signature
12 LAYOUT 2
12 Letterhead
12
References
14 Per pro
14 Job title
14 Enclosures
1 4
LAYOUT
3
14 Private and confidential
14 Subject title
14 Copies
1 4
ADDRESSING ENVELOPES
Faxes
16 INTRODUCTION
16
Preparing for transmission
16 STYLE
EXAMPLES
17
Advice of damaged consignment
18 Response to importer's enquiry
19 Fax accompanying an order
Emails
20 INTRODUCTION
zo Advantages
20
Disadvantages
20
Email and other forms of correspondence
20
Email addresses
21 LAYOUT
21 Header information
21
Message text
21 Signature
22 STYLE
22
Email abbreviations
EXAMPLES 23
Asking for an estimate
24
Making arrangements for an estimate
25
Asking for infcrmation
26 Request for goods on approval
27 Reply to request for goods on approval
Points to remember
28 Letters
28 Faxes
28 Emails
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Letters
LAYOUT 1>
The letter opposite is from a private individual
in Denmark to a com pany in the UK. It show s
the basic fea tures of a simple business letter.
Sender's address
In correspondence that does not have a
LET TERHEAD, the sender's address is placed in
the top right-hand co rner of the page. It is also
acceptable, but less comm on, to place it in the
top left-hand c orner. Punctuation is rarely used
in addresses these days.
The LOCKED STY LE is the most widely
used, i.e. each line starts directly below the one
above.
In contrast with practice in som e other
countries, in the UK it is not usual to w rite the
sender's nam e before h is or her address.
Date
The d ate is written directly below the sender's
address, separated from it by a space. In the
case of correspondence w ith a letterhead
t o - s e e
page 12,
it is usually written on the right-
hand side of the page.
The m onth in the date should not be written
in figures as this can be confusing; for exam ple
n.3.03
means
is March 2003
in British Eng lish,
where the sequence is daym onthyear, but
3 Novem ber 2oo3
in American English, where
the sequence is monthdayyear.
It is acceptable to w rite the da te with or
without the abbreviations
-th
and
-nd,
e . g .
24th O ctober
or
24
October,
and to transpose
the date and the month, e.g.
October 24
or
24 O ctober.
These are m atters of personal
preference, but wh atever you choose you
should be consistent throughout your
correspondence.
Inside address
The INSIDE ADDRESS is written below the
sender's address and on the left-hand side of
the page.
Surname known
If you know the nam e of the person you
are writing to, write it as the first line of the
add ress. Include either the person's initial/s or
his or her first given nam e, e.g.
Mr I.E. Smith
or
M r John Sm ith,
NOT
Mr S mith.
COURTESY TITLE
s used in addresses are as
follows:
Mr
(pronounced P m ista/) is the usual
courtesy title for a ma n. The unabbreviated
form
Mister
should not be used.
M r s
(pronounced /
m isiz/, no unabbreviated
form) is used for a m arried wom an.
Miss pronounced/I
m isl, not an
abb reviation) is used for an unmarried
woman .
M s
(pronounced /mu/ or /m as/, no
unabbreviated form) is used for b oth
ma rried and unm arried w om en. It is
advisable to use this form o f address wh en
you are unsure whether the wom an you are
writing to is married or not, or do not know
wh ich title she prefers.
Messrs
(pronounced /'mesaz /, abbreviation
for French
'Messieurs',
wh ich is never used) is
used occasionally for two or m ore men, e.g.
Messrs P Jones and B.L. Parker,
but more
com monly forms part of the name of a
com pany, e.g.
M essrs Collier, Clark & Co.
It is
rather o ld-fashioned.
Other courtesy titles include ac adem ic or
medical titles, e.g.
Doctor (Dr ), Professor (Prof);
m ilitary titles, e.g.
Captain (Capt),M ajor (Maj.),
Colonel (Col.), General (Gen.);
and aristocratic
titles, e.g.
Sir, Dame, Lord, Lady. Sir
m eans that
the addressee is a knight, and is always
followed b y a first name, e.g.
Sir John Brown,
never
Sir "Brown
or
Sir Brown.
It should not be
confused with the SALUTATION
Dear Sir.
Esq.,
abbreviation for
Esquire, is
seldom used
now . It can only be used instead of
Mr,
and is
placed after the nam e. Do not use
Esq.
and Mr
at the sam e time, e.g.
Bruce Hill Esq.,
NOT
Mr
B ruce Hill Esq.
All these courtesy titles, except
Esq.,
are also
used in salutations e-see
page io.
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Sender's address
0
Date
Bredgade 51
DK 1260
Copenhagen K
DENMARK
O
6 May 20
s
e
a
p
a
x
i
s
a
n
G Inside address
Compuvision Ltd
Warwick House
Warwick Street
Forest Hill
L o n d o n S E 2 3 11F
U K
Attention line
Salutation
Body of the letter
Complimentary close
Signature
For the attention of the Sales Manager
Dear Sir or Madam
G
Please would you send me details of your DVD video systems.
am particularly interested in the Omega range.
0
Yours faithfully
O
8 .
K a A a S e P t .
(Ms) B. Kaasen
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Note that a full stop is often used at the end
of the ab breviation if it takes the form of the
first few letters of the word , e.g.
Prof. (Professor),
but is not necessary if it takes the form of the
first and last letter of the word, e.g.
Dr
(Doctor).
However, som e people prefer to write, e.g. Mr.,
Mrs., with a full stop. Again, w hatever you
cho ose to do, you should be co nsistent
throughout your co rrespondence.
Job title known
If you do not know the nam e of the person you
are w riting to, but know their job title, you can
use that, e.g. The Sales M anager, The Finance
Director,
in the inside ad dress.
Department known
Alternatively, you can add ress your letter to a
particular department of the compa ny, e.g.
The
Sales Departm ent, The A ccounts Department.
r-see letter on page 43.
Company known
Finally, if you know nothing about the
company and do not know w hich person or
department your letter should go to, you can
simply address the letter to the com pany itself,
e . g . Com puvision Ltd, M essrs Collier, Clark & Co.
Order of inside address
After the nam e of the person and / or com pany
receiving the letter, the recom mend ed order
and style of add resses in the UK is as fo llows:
Nam e of house or building
Number of b uilding and na me o f street,
road, avenue, etc.
Name o f town or c ity and postcode
Name of country
Industrial House
34-41 Craig R oad
Bolton
B1,4 8 TF
UK
In other European countries, the numb er of the
building may be placed after the name of the
street. It is also co mm on to substitute the nam e
of the country with a n initial befo re the district
code number. These two exam ples are from
Italy and Germany
('Deutschland') respectively.
Facoltei di Medicina
V ia Gentile 182
1-701oo B ari
Lehrschule fur Bodenkunde
A m alienstrasse
D-80000 M unchen 40
It is simplest to follow the above ord er and
style, though variations are possible: for
exam ple the nam e of the county, e.g.
Lancashire,
ma y, if know n, be included on the
line below the nam e of the town or city; the
postcode m ay be w ritten on a separate line; the
nam e of the town, as well as the country, may
be in c apital letters
1 3 ,-see also page 14.
Attention line
An alternative to including the recipient's
nam e or job title in the ad dress is to use an
ATTENTION LINE tesee
letter on page 9.
Salutation
Dear Sir
opens a letter written to a m an w hose
name you do not know.
Dear S irs
is used to add ress a company. (In
American Eng lish a letter to a com pany usually
opens with
Gentlemen.)
Dear M adam
is used to address a wom an,
wh ether single or married, whose nam e you do
not know.
Dear Sir or Madam
(or
Dear Sir / Madam)
is
used to address a person when you do not
know their nam e or sex. Notice that Ms Kaasen
in the letter on page 9 uses this form , i.e. she
does not assume that the sales manager of
Com puvision Ltd is a man t>
see also page 36.
Wh en you know the name o f the person you
are writing to, but do not know them well, the
salutation takes the form of
Dear
followed by a
courtesy title and the person's surname. Initials
or first names a re not used w ith courtesy titles,
e.g.
Dear Mr Sm ith,
NOT
Dear Mr I. Smith
or
Dear Mr Iohn Sm ith.
Business associates wh o
you know w ell can be addressed using just
their first nam e, e.g.
Dear John.
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m
a
p
s
a
a
A com ma after the salutation is optional, i.e.
Dear Mr Sm ith,
or
Dear Mr Sm ith.
(In American
English a colon is usually used after the
salutation, e.g.
Dear Mr Sm ith:, Gentlemen:).
ody of the letter
The bloc ked style is the one m ost often used for
the bod y of the letter. It is usual to leave a line
space between paragraphs.
Complimentary close
If the letter begins
Dear Sir, Dear Sirs,
Dear Madam,
or
Dear Sir or Madam,
the
COMPLIMENTARY CLOSE Should
be
Y ours
faithfully.
If the letter begins with a personal nam e,
e . g .
Dear Mr _Tames, D ear Mrs R obinson,
or
Dea r
Ms Jasmin,
it should be
Y ours sincerely.
A letter to someone you know well m ay
close with the mo re informal
Best wishes.
Note that Americans tend to close even form al
letters with
Y ours truly
or
Truly yours,
which
is unusual in the UK in com mercial
correspondence.
Avoid dosing with old-fa shioned phrases,
e . g .
W e remain yours faithfully, Respectfully
yours.
A com ma after the com plimentary dose is
optional, i.e.
Y ours faithfully,
or
Y ours faithfully.
The com plimentary close is usually placed
on the left, aligned under the rest of the letter.
Signature
Always type your nam e and, if relevant, your
job title, below yo ur handw ritten signature.
This is known as the S
IGNATURE BLOCK. Even
though you m ay think your handw riting is
easy to read , letters such as
a, e, o,
r, and v can
easily be co nfused.
It is, to som e extent, a matter of choice
wh ether you sign with your initial/s,
e . g .
D. Jenkins,
or your full given name,
e . g .
David Jenkins,
and wh ether you include
your courtesy title in your signature block as
in the letter on page 9. But if you include
neither your g iven name no r your title, your
correspondent will not be a ble to identify your
sex and m ay give you the wro ng title when he
or she replies.
TITLE
Mr
Mrs
Miss
Ms
S i r
Madam
Sir/Madam
STATUS
OMPLIMENTARY CLOSE
married or umarried male
ours sincerely
ma rried female
ours sincerely
unmarried female
ours sincerely
married or unmarried female
ours sincerely
male name not known
ours faithfully
female nam e not known
ours faithfully
wh en unsure whether you
ours fa ithfully
are addressing male or female
medical/academic/military
hese titles do not change whether
ours sincerely
e.g. Dr/Professor/General
ddressing a male or female
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LAYOUT 2B>
Opposite is the c om pany's reply to the letter
from the prospective custom er in Denma rk.
It shows som e mo re features of a typical
business letter.
Lettevhead
The printed letterhead of a c om pany gives a
great deal of inform ation about it.
Type of company
The abbreviation Ltd
after a company's name
indicates that it has LIMITED LIABIL ITY . This
mea ns that the individuals who ow n the
com pany, or part of it, i.e. the shareholders, are
only responsible for their holding (i.e. the
capital they have contributed) if the company
goes ba nkrupt. In other words, it indicates to
people giving the com pany credit that in
bankruptcy they can only be paid back from
wha t the company owns, and not from the
personal funds of its shareho lders.
The abbreviation PLC (P
UBLIC
LIMITED
COMPANY )
is used to show that a co mpa ny's
shares can be bough t and sold by the public,
unlike the sha res of private limited liability
com panies. In the USA the term INC.
(INCORPORATED) is used.
Com puvision Ltd
S P W holesalers plc
Hartley M ason Inc.
The abbreviation
AND ( ) CO.
indicates that
a co mpany is a partnership between two or
more people.
(And
is usually written as an
ampersand (&)
in English com pany names.) If
the com pany is a fam ily concern,
Son/s, B ros
(Brothers), or
Daughter/s
may be added.
Partnerships may ha ve limited liability or
unlimited liability.
F. Lynch & Co. Ltd
R. Hughes & Son
If neither
Ltd
nor & Co.
appear after a
com pany's name, then it may be a SOLE
TRADER, i.e. a person wh o ow ns and runs a
business on their own.
Board of Directors
The nam e of the chairman (in the USA, the
president),
wh o runs the concern, m ay be given,
as well as the names of the directors, who
decide the overall policy of the com pany.
The m anaging director (in the US A, and
increasingly in the UK, termed the
chief
executive of ficer
or coo),
who takes an active
role in the day-to- day running of the com pany,
ma y be mentioned if he or she is not the sam e
person as the chairma n. In the UK, the
chairm an runs the Board o f Directors wh ile the
Chief Ex ecutive Officer runs the company.
Address
In addition to the address of the office from
wh ich the letter is being sent, the letterhead
ma y also give the add ress of the head o ffice or
registered office, if d ifferent, and the addresses of
any branches or other offices the com pany owns.
Telephone and fax numbers will also be
included and, if relevant, email and web site
addresses. A cable (telegram) ad dress may also
be included. It is important to remem ber that
although the m ajority of com panies are
connec ted to the Internet, there are ma ny
countries where fax and cable a re still
important ways of transmitting informa tion
or, where banks are concerned, m oney.
Registered number
Th is usually appears in sma ll print, sometim es
with the country or city in which the com pany
is registered.
I n t h e U K , t h e V A T ( V A L U E A D D E D T A X )
number ma y also be given >see, for example,
the letter on page 56.
Refevernces
REFERENCES are often quoted to indicate
wh at the letter refers to
(Y our ref.) and the cor-
respondence to refer to w hen replying (Our ref.).
References m ay either appear in figures, e.g.
661/17,
where
66i ma y refer to the number of
the letter and 17 to the number of the
department, or in letters, e.g. DS/MR, as in the
letter on page 13 , where D S stands for Donald
Sa mpson, the writer, and MR for h is assistant,
Mary Raynor.
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Your ref.
6 May 20-
G
Your ref.
DS/MR
Date
11 M ay 2 0
Ms B. Kaasen
Bredgade 51
DK 1260
Copenhagen K
DENMARK
Dear Ms Kaasen,
Thank you for your enquiry.
I enclose our catalogue and price-list for DVD video equipment . You will
find full details of the Omega range on pages 31-35.
Please contact us if you have any further questions or would like to place
an order.
We look forward to hearing from you.
Yours sincerely,
Mary Raptor
p.p. Donald Sampson
Sales Manager
e
Enc .
e
References
e
Per pro
Job title
e
Enclosure
s
e
w
p
s
a
v
n
Warwick House
Warwick Street
Forest Hill
London
5 E23 1 1
F
Telephone
+44 (0)20 85661861
Facsimile
+4.4. (0)20
85661385
Email
www.comvis.co.uk
Letterhead
C
pu
5 5
131,71
Ltd
Chairman
John Franks a E.
Directors
S.B.Allen m.sc. N.Ignot R. Lichens B.A.
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Note that the
Y our Ref. in the letter on
page 13 is a date, as Ms Kaasen did not give
any reference in h er original letter.
Per pro
The abbreviation
P.P.
sometimes a ppears in
signature block s. It means
PER PRO,
i.e.for
and
on behalf of,
and is used by adm inistrators or
personal a ssistants wh en signing letters on
behalf of their managers.
J
itle
W hen sending a letter or email on behalf of
your com pany, it is a good idea to include your
job title in the signature bloc k, especially if
your recipient has not dea lt with you before.
Enclosures
If there are any documents enclosed with a
letter, althoug h these may be m entioned in the
bod y of the letter, it is also com m on to write
Enc.
or
Enc/.
below the signature block. If there
are a number of docum ents, these can be
listed, e.g.:
Enc.
B ill of lading (3 copies)
Insurance c ertificate (i copy )
Certificate of origin (i copy)
B ill of ex change (i copy)
LAYOUT
3 r >
The final letter in this section show s some
further features of a business letter.
Private and conf ident ia l
This phrase may be w ritten at the head of a
letter and, more im portant, on the envelope, in
cases wh ere the letter is intended to be read
only by the add ressee.
There are m any variations of this phrase,
e.g. Confidential, S trictly confidential,
but little
difference in meaning.
Subject tim e
A s
UBJE CT TITLE
at the beg inning of a letter,
directly after the salutation, provides a further
reference, saves introducing the subject in the
first paragraph, im med iately draws a ttention
to the topic of the letter, and allow s the writer
to refer to it throughout.
It is not necessary to begin the subject title
with
R e. (with regard to),
e.g.
R e.: A pplication for
the post of w eb designer.
W hen sending email
messag es this ma y even be confusing as
RE i s
short for reply see page 48.
C pies
W hen copies are sent to people other than the
named recipient,
c. c.
(CARBON COPY )
is added,
usually at the end of a letter, before the nam e/s
of the recipient/s of the c opies.
Som etimes you will not want the named
recipient to know tha t other people have
received copies. In this case,
B . C . C.(BLIND
CARBON COPY ),
and the name/s of the
recipient/s, are added on the c opies themselves,
though not, of co urse, on the top copy.
These ab breviations are used in email, and
mean exa ctly the sam e thing
>see page 21.
ADDRESSING ENVELOPES
Envelope add resses are written in a similar
way to inside ad dresses s>see pages 8io.
But in
the case of letters within or for the UK, the
nam e of the town and the co untry are written
in capital letters, and the postcode is usually
written on a line by itself.
Mr G. Penter
49 Memorial Road
ORPINGTON
Kent
BR69UA
Messrs W. B rown low & Co.
600 G rand S treet
LONDON
WIN
9UZ
UK
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Compuvision
Ltd
Warwick House
Warwick Street
Forest Hill
London
5E23 iiF
Telephone
+44 (0)20 8566 1861
Facsimile +44
(0)20 85661385
Email
www.comvis.co.uk
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Your ref.
Your ref.
DS/MR
Date
21 September 20--
Ms B. Kaasen
Bredgade 51
D K 1 2 6 0
Copenhagen K
D E N M A R K
Q Private and
confidential
Sub ject title
(b) C opies
Private and confidential
Dear Ms Kaasen
Non-paym ent of invoice 322/17
It appears from our records that, d espite several rem inders, the ab ove
invoice remains unpaid. Unless the ac count is cleared within 14 days from
the date of this letter, we shall' take legal a ction.
Yours sincerely
DOKAIOLS:4444e-COli
,
Donald Sam pson
Sales Manager
l
.c. Messrs Poole & Jackson L td, Solicitors
Chairman
John Franks BE.
Directors
5.B. Allen m.sc. N. Ignot R. Lichens B.A.
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Faxes
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INTRODUCTION
The wordfax com es from facsimile, which
means
an exact copy or reproduction. L i k e
email, the wordfax c an be used as a noun,
e . g .
I sent a fax
or as a verb, e.g.
W e will fax
you when w e have the inform ation.
A fax m essage is useful when speed is
important and the recipient does not have
ema ilit is especially useful for do cum ents
containing diagram s or drawings. Like email,
a fax c an be sent quickly to m any different
recipients at the sam e time. However, ag ain
like email, fax is an open system, i.e.
correspondence can easily be accessed by
outsiders, so it should not be used for
confidential information.
W hen sending handw ritten fax messages,
use a dark c olour and ma ke your writing large
and clear.
As faxes are co pies of docum ents, they
cannot be used w hen the originals are
required. For example, an original BILL
OF
LADING gives
TITLE to goods (i.e. you would
ow n the goods if you had the b ill in your
possession), and wo uld not be valid if it were a
faxed copy.
Faxes have b een 'court tested', and they tend
to be a ccepted in legal ca ses, along w ith letters,
as evidence in certain areas o f international
trade. However, an em ail containing similar
informa tion m ight not be c onsidered valid
under certain circumstances.
Different fax m ach ines offer a wide range
of facilities, including repeat dialling if the
receiver's fax m achine is engaged; a
transmission report which g ives details of the
time, date, sender, receiver, number of pages,
duration, and result; a verification m ark a t the
foot of the page to confirm the fax w as sent;
and a number m emory for frequently used
numbers. Check the manual of your fax
ma chine to find out wha t functions it can
perform.
It is also possible to send a fax from a
computer.
Preparing fore tzansm ission
Check that you have the correct fax number.
Ch eck that the paper on wh ich your message is
printed or w ritten is suitable. If it is too big, too
small, or in poor co ndition, photoco py the
message on paper that can be ac cepted by the
fax machine. Before using the machine, check
that you know ho w to dial, cancel, clear a paper
jam, and send.
Wh en you send a fax it is a good idea to use a
fax transmission cover form . This will help to
ensure that the fax rea ches its intended
recipient safely. Most com panies use their own
headed fa x transmission form , but you can
easily create one for yo urself, e.g.:
BRITISH CRY STAL Ltd.
Glazier House
Green Lane
Derby
DE1112T
FAX MESSAGE
T o :
From:
Fax no.:
Subject:
Date:
Page/s:
STYLE
Generally, fax es are similar to letters in style,
level of form ality, and the use of conventions .
How ever, a fax m ay be shorter and the
language m ore direct, like an em ail, as there
is a time element in the cost of sending them .
As with email m essages, beware of using too
informa l a tone with customers or suppliers
you do not know w ell.
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F. Lynch
Co. Ltd
Advice of dam aged
Head Office
onsignment
Nesson House
Newell Street
his fax is from Lynch
Birmingham
Co, who received a
B 3 3 E 1
amaged
CONSIGNMENT
Telephone:
+44
(0)21 236
65 71
nd were told by their
FaX:
+44 (o)21 236 8592
upplier, Satex S.p.A., to
return it ic.see page 106.
Email: [email protected]
www.lynch.com
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Fax message
T o
. C a u s i o , S a t e x S . p . A .
F r o m
Crane
Fax no. (06) 4815 473
subject Replacement of dam aged order no.14478
Date
9 October 20
Page/s 1
This is an urgent request for a co nsignment to replace the ab ove order,
which was da ma ged during delivery. We inform ed you about this in our
letter of 15 September.
Please airfreight the follow ing items:
C a t . N o .
uantity
R 3 0
0
R 2 0
0
N26
00
Th e dam aged co nsignment will be returned wh en we receive the
replacement.
P e t e r C r a n e ,
Peter Crane
Chief Buyer
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Response
to
importer's enquiry
This is a fax from
British Crystal to their
AGENTS,
S.A. Importers,
in Saudi Arabia
>see
correspondence on
pages 174-176.
This fax is quite
formal in style as the
companies have just
started their business
relationship. Notice
how Mr Oliver'sells'
the product to the
importers. >See
also
British Crystal s faxed
enquiry to Universal
Airways and the letter
reply on pages 194-195.
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B r i t i s h C r y s ta l L td
GLAZIER HOUSE GREEN LANE DERBY DE1 1RT
TELEPHONE: +44
(0)1332 45790FACSIMILE:
+44 (0)1332 51977
Email : o l iverh@crys ta l .com
www.britishcrystalcom
FAX MESSAGE
T o S.A. Importers
F r o m
H .
Oliver, Ma rketing Manager
F ax n o .
(966)134981
Subject
French Em pire designs
Date
16 August 20
Page/s
5, including this one
Th ank you for your enquiry about our French Em pire range of drinking
glasses. Th ere is a revival of interest in this period , so w e are not surprised
that these products have becom e popular with your customers.
I am sending with this fax pp.1-4 of o ur catalogue with C IF Riyadh prices,
as you said you would like an imm ediate preview of this range. I would
appreciate your com ments on the designs with regard to your m arket.
I look forw ard to hearing from you.
H. Oliver
H. Oliver (Mr)
Marketing Manager
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Fax accom panying
an order
To
From
Fax
Topic
No. of pages
Fax
igerian
Exploration
Company
Block D . Surulere Industrial Road
elephone (+234)1483608213/4/5
Ogba . lkeja . Lagos
acsimile (234)14837001
John Malcovitch, C hief Engineer
Tosin Om osade, United Drilling Inc. Managing Director
213-890-0740
Drilling Heads
1-5
With this fax, an
importer is sending
an official order and
specifications for the
drills he requires. He
says that a
CONFIRMED
LETTER OF CREDIT Will
be opened once
he has
the supplier's
COMMERCIAL INVOICE.
Notice that the fax is
c o p i e d
to his company's
accountant, and also the
chief engineer.
1
c.c. Kwam e Adeole (Accountant)
Vidal L amont (C hief Engineer)
Pages 2- 4 of this fax are specifications for the exploration drilling heads
that w e discussed on your visit here in October. Could you please supply
these heads as soon as possible?
I am also sending our official Order No. AT 320-1 046.1 shall mak e
arrangements to open a co nfirmed letter of credit with the Nigerian
International Bank a s soon as you h ave sent me your invoice and details of
shipment.
I look forward to hearing from you.
TO.riA r
OW -OS'ade/
Tosin Omosade (Mr)
Managing Director
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Emails
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INTRODUCTION
Email (short for
electronic m ail)
is a means of .
sending m essages between com puters.
To send and receive email you need access to
the Internet. An Internet Service Provider (r sp)
will provide you with connection software,
which is often free. This will give you Internet
access, storage for incoming m ail, and the
capability to read your m essages. Finally, you
need em ail software, generally already
installed in mod ern com puters, so that you can
write, send, receive, and read m essages.
Advantages
There are num erous advantages to em ail. It is
personal and easy to use. It can be used both
within and between com panies, and is an
effective way to communicate quickly and
easily with people all over the world. It is
especially useful for short messages and for
everyday correspondence, e.g. setting up a
m eeting, passing on informa tion, and m aking
or replying to a request.
You c an pick up your email messages,
even wh en you are travelling, via a laptop or
palm top. With compa tible systems, you can
access text and graphic docum ents, and
spreadsheets. And whatever you send or
receive can be quickly and easily filed.
Okadvantages
The disadvantages of em ail include technical
problems w hich m ay result in the unexpected
non-delivery of m essages, or a ttachm ents
arriving in unreadable form . A non-technical
disadvantage is that, paradoxically, the ease
with wh ich m essages can be sent results in
large am ounts of'junk' and unnecessary
com munication, which w aste time.
As with faxes, a m ajor drawba ck is the lack
of privacy and security. Do not use email to
communicate confidential information. It is
sometimes said that an em ail message is like
a postcard anyone can read what you have
written. However, digital signing and
encryption (co ding data, so that it can only be
read by authorized users), which both wo rk
along similar lines, mak e ema il more secure.
Erna and other forms of
correspondence
There a re several areas of business
com munication where more traditional forms
of correspondence are still the m ost suitable.
For exam ple, personal and sensitive
correspondence such as messages of
congratulation, condolence, or com plaint are
usually best done by letter. Confirmation of
contracts, mem os which are confidential and
must be signed to acknow ledge receipt, and
any correspondence which m ay be needed for
legal or insurance purposes should not
normally be sent by email. You m ight find a job
on the Internet, but most com panies would
still expect your a pplication to c onsist of a
com pleted form with a covering letter.
Em alP addresses
Typical ema il addresses look like this:
Th e first part of the ema il address is usually the
surnam e and initial of the person you are
contacting, or the nam e if it is a departm ent, or
a shortened version of it. The second part,
wh ich appears imm ediately after the @ (at), is
the name o f the is
P
or organization, or again
an ab breviation of it. Usually, the last part of
the address includes the dom ain name suffixes
referring to the type of organization (e.g. '.co'
for 'com pany', '.ac' ('academ ic') for a university)
and to the country from w hich the message
was sent (e.g. '.no' for Norwa y, '.uk' for the
United Kingdom ).
Other examples of dom ain name suffixes
referring to types of organization include:
. b i z
business
.gov
government office
.org
non-profit-m aking organization
(e.g. a charity)
.pro
profession (e.g. m edicine, law)
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Arial
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Inspri.,T,FRrat
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If the nam e of a country in its main language
differs significantly from its name in E nglish,
this is reflected in its domain name suffix, e.g.:
.de
Deutschland
(Germany)
. e s
Espana
(Spain)
. z a
Z uid A frika
(South Africa)
LAYOUT
N Y
Below is a typical email message.
Header inform at ion
The hea der gives essential informa tion about
the m essage. In addition to the ba sic details
shown in the sample, it may include:
c . c .
This stands for carbon copies, which m eans
much the same as it does on a letter
r>see
page 14.
Here you insert the em ail
addresses of anyone you w ant to send copies
of the m essage to.
b.c.c.
This stands for blind carbon copies, which, as
in a letter, you should use if you do no t want
the ma in recipient to know wh o has received
copies rsee
page 14.
Attachments
Icons
of any
ATTACHMENTS
will appear here.
The am ount of header informa tion, and the
order in which it appears, will vary acco rding
to the software being used, so do not w orry if
the messages you send and receive do not look
exactly like the one in the exam ple.
Message tex t
The presentation of the text in an em ail is
usually less formal than in a letter. In this
exam ple Ms Kaasen has used the form al
Dear Sir / Madam,
but she could simply have
headed her m essage
For the attention of the
Sales Manager.
Rather than ending w ith
Y ours faithfully,
she uses the less forma l
I look forward to hearing f rom y ou.
Signature
Th is is like the signature bloc k in a letter,
although it usually includes m ore details, e.g.
the sender's com pany or private add ress, and
telephone and fax numbers. You can program
your ema il software to add your signature
autom atically to the end of outgoing
messages.
Q
Header information
e
Message text
Signature block
SubjeCt.. _ .
Quad sound
systems
. .
a
Dear Sir /
M adam
Please would you send me details of your quad sound systems, advertised in the
April edition of 'Sound Monthly'?
I am particularly interested in the Omega range.
I look forward to hearing f rom you.
Beatr ix Kaasen (Ms)
B r e dgade 51
DK 1260
Copenhagen K
Te l / Fax: (+45) 7415 83
Email: [email protected]
9 . )
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S T Y L E
Em ail is a relatively recent development, and
because it is perceived as a quick and inform al
mea ns of comm unication, people are often
unclear ab out the style and conventions they
should use in business situations.
As a general rule, although ema il
correspondence ma y tend towards informality
it should follo w the sam e principles as any
other form of business correspondence.
Here are some basic tips about style:
In general, email messages follo w the style
and c onventions used in letters or faxes. For
exam ple, you can use salutations such as
Dear M r Pinto or Dear Tom,
and
com plimentary doses such as
Y ours sincerely
or
B est wishes.
However, if you know the
recipient well, or if you are excha nging a
series of m essages with one person, you may
dispense with the salutation and
complimentary close.
Do not confuse personal m essages with
business messages. In a b usiness m essage,
the same rules of w riting apply as for a
letter: write clearly, carefully, and
courteously; consider a udience, purpose,
clarity, consistency, conciseness, and tone.
Use correct gram ma r, spelling,
capitalization, and punctuation, as you
wo uld in any other form of c orrespondence.
Do not w rite w ords in capital letters in an
ema il message. This can be seen as the
equivalent of shouting and therefore have a
negative effect. If you w ant to stress a w ord,
put asterisks on each sid e of it, e.g.
*urgent*.
Keep your email messages short and to the
point. People often receive a lot of em ails at
wo rk, so c onciseness is especially important.
In general, imit yourself to o ne topic per
message. Th is helps to keep the message
brief and m akes it easier for the recipient
to answ er, file, and retrieve it later.
Check your ema il message for mistakes
before you send it, just as you would chec k
a letter or a fax m essage.
Email abbreviations
TLAs (three-letter acronyms)
In order to keep em ail messages short, people
sometimes use abbreviations for comm on
expressions, just as they do in text m essaging.
These are know n as TL As (three-letter
acronyms), although some o f them are m ore
than three letters long. Here is a list of som e
of the most comm only used TLAs:
AFAIK
as faraslknow
BFN ye f or now
BTW
y the way
COB
lose of business
FYI
or your information
IOW
n other words
NRN
o reply necessary
OTOH
on the other hand
Use TL As with great care, and only wh en
you have established a friendly, informal
relationship with your correspondent. They
should not be b e used in letters and faxes.
Emoticons
Em oticons (a com bination of the words
emotion and
icon),
also know as smileys, are
often used in informa l ema il correspondence.
They express emotions which m ay not be
evident from the words a lone, e.g.:
:-) a smile
:-( a frown
;-) a wink
On the w hole, it is better not to use them in
business messag es, as they may be co nsidered
unprofessional, especially if you do no t know
the recipient well or a re not sure that he or she
will understand them .
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Peter Lane
777
7_77 : ,
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': "
: . . .
.7 z
77 77 :
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-7 7
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Refit of Halton Road store
Plan of premises
pecification list
rchitect's drawings
With
reference to our phone conversation this morning, I would like one of your
representatives to visit our store at 443 Halton Road, London, SE4 3TN, to give an estimate
for a complete refit. Please could you contact me to arrange an appointment?
As I mentioned on the phone, it is essential that work is completed before the end of
February 20, and this would be stated in the contract.
I attach the plans and specifications.
Jean Landman (Ms)
Assistant to K. Bellon, Managing Drector
Superbuys Ltd, Superbuy House
Wolverton Road, London SW16 7DN
Te l. : 0 20 8 327 1 651
F a x: 02 0 83 2 7 1 93 5
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Ask ing fov an
estimate
Here is an example of
an email asking for an
ESTIMATE to
refit a
store.There are three
attachments. Notice
that the email is quite
short. It is acceptable,
as here, to omit the
salutation and the
complimentary close
when the sender and
recipient have been in
touch with each other
previously.
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Dear Ms Landman
Our surveyor, John Pelham, is available to inspect the premises and discuss your exact
requirements. Could you please contact John on [email protected] , or on his mobile
(71292 89541), to arrange a convenient time for him to visit the store?
From your attached specifications, I estimate the work could be completed within the time
you give, and we would be willing to sign a contract to this effect.
Peter Lane
Drector, Wembley Shopfitters Ltd
Wycombe Road, Wembley, Mddlesex HA9 6DA
Telephone: 020 8903 2323
Fax: 020 8903 2349
Email: [email protected]
Original message
From: Jean Landman
Sent:
To:
eter Lane
Subject: Refit of Halton Road store
Dear Mr Lane
With reference to our phone conversation this morning, I would like one of your
representatives to visit our store at 443 Halton Road, London, SE4 3TN, to give an
estimate for a complete refit. Please could you contact me to arrange an appointment?
As I mentioned on the phone, it is essential that work is completed before the end of
February 20, and this would be stated in the contract.
I attach the plans and specifications.
Jean Landman (Ms)
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Making
arrangements for
an estimate
Peter Lane replies to
Jean Landman, copying
the message to the
surveyor,John Pelham.
Notice that this message
fulfils the requirements
for correspondence
dealing with an enquiry,
i.e.the reply is sent as
soon as possible and
covers the points
mentioned in the
enquiry.The style is
quite informal but still
polite and businesslike.
The letters
RE:appear
before the subject title
in the header
information.This
indicates that Peter Lane
has selected the 'reply'
option.The original
message appears below
his reply.
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'
Allan Rubain
RE : Sato Inc .
Asking for
inf. rmation
A company has ernailed
their local
CHAMBER OF
COMMERCE
to ask for
some information about
their prospective
DISTRIBUTORS,SatO
Inc.
In this reply,the answers
given by the chamber of
commerce have been
inserted at the relevant
points in the original
message.They are
preceded by the '>'
symbol.
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Dear Mr Rubain
> P lease f ind answe rs to your quer ies be low.
How long has the company been in business?
> The company has traded for 24 years under its current name.
How many showrooms does it have?
> It has a chain of 30 showrooms throughout the country.
What is i ts turnover every year?
> I ts reg istered turnover th is year was $410 mi l l ion.
Will its products compete with mine?
> I t spe cial ize s in fore ign cars yours wi l l be un ique to your country.
How is i t regarded in Japan?
> It has an excellent reputation.
I hope this information is useful.
Kyoko Mamura (Ms)
Assistant to Trade Information Officer
Sakuragi Bldg, Minami Aoyama, Minato-ku, Tokyo 109
Te l : (+81) 3 4507 685 1
Fax: (+81) 3 4507 8 890
Email: [email protected]
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Order No B1463
Dear Mr Cliff
A lot of customers have been asking about your bookcase and coffee-table assembly kits
(above cat. nos). We would like to test the market and have 6 sets of each kit on approval
before placing a firm order. I can supply trade references if necessary.
I attach a provisional order (No. B1463) in anticipation of your agreement. There is no hurry,
so you can send these with your next delivery to Swansea.
Many thanks
Robert Hughes
R. Hughes & Son Ltd
T e l: 0 1792 5 8441
Fax: 01792 59472
Email: [email protected]
Rchard Cliff
Cat.
Nos KT3
and KT14 on approval
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Request for g ods
n approval
Mr Cliff of Homemakers
is a furniture
manufacturer and
supplies Mr Hughes's
shop with a wide range
of goods. In this
example, Mr Hughes
wants two new products
ON APPROVAL.
1 Why does Mr Hughes
What does Mr
What sort of order
Is this an urgent
want the goods on
ughes think might
as been sent, and
equest?
approval?
e required to get
ow has it been sent?
01
oods on approval?
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Fite
Edit '.Vie4
iseit Fonnet
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...ActiObe
To.......
ober t Hughes
s"ub lea I RE : Cat . Nos KT3 and KT1 4 on approval
Reply to request
for goods on
approval
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Dear Mr Hughes
Thank you for your enquiry about our assem bly ki ts. We'd be pleased to se nd you 6 of each
on app roval. They should be with you by noon on M onday.
There's no need to supply references. The provisional order (81463) you sent is suf f ic ient,
but p lease return any unsold ki ts in two months.
Let us know i f we can be of any fur ther help.
Richard Cl i f f
Director, Home make rs Ltd
54-59 R ivers ide, Cardi f f CF1 1JW
Direct l ine: +44 (0)29 20 49723
Fax: +44 (0)29 20 4993 7
Em ai l: r c li f f@hom em akers.com
1 Does Mr Cliff agree
What sort of
to send the goods on
eferences are
approval?
equired?
3 What should Mr
Hughes do with any
unsold kits?
4
What phrase does
Mr Cliff use to offer
more help?
so
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Points to remember
Letters
Many of these points apply to faxes and em ails
as well.
1 T he layout and presentation of your letter
are impo rtant as they give the recipient the
first impression of your com pany's
efficiency.
2 W rite both the sender's and the recipient's
address in as muc h detail as possible and in
the correct order.
3 Ma ke sure you use the recipient's correct
title in the add ress and salutation. If in doubt
as to whether a wo ma n is single or married,
use Ms.
4 Do not write the month o f the date in
figures.
5 Choo se the correct salutation and
complimentary close:
Dear Sir/Madam with
Y ours faithfully
Dear Mr/Ms S mith with
Y ours sincerely
6 Mak e sure your references are correct.
7 Mak e sure your signature block tells your
reader what he or she needs to know about
you.
1 Fax is an open system, so it should not be
used for confidential correspondence.
2 W rite clearly when sending handw ritten
messages.
3 Faxes are copies, and cannot be used when
original documents are required.
4 Prepare your transmission carefully before
you send it.
5 In general, the language of fax es is much like
that of letters, although fa xes can be briefer
and m ore direct, like em ail messages.
1 E ma il is very fast and effective, but there are
areas w here it is preferable to use letters, e.g.
personal, confidential, or legal
correspondence.
2 Em ail addresses usually give the nam e of the
person or department, then the @ (a t)
symbol, followed by the name of the
com pany or institution, and finally the
dom ain names, which indicate the type of
organization and the country from wh ich
the message w as sent
3 The language of em ails can be quite
informal, but if you do not know the
recipient well, it is better to keep to the usual
writing conventions. You can become more
informal as you establish a working
relationship.
4 It is possible to use special abbreviations, e.g.
TLAS
and em oticons, but do not confuse your
recipient by using abb reviations he o r she
ma y not know or understand.
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30 LENGTH
3o Too long
31 Too short
31 The right length
32 ORDER AND SEQUENCE
32 Unclear sequence
32 Clear sequence
3 3
PLANNING
33 First paragraph
33 Middle paragraphs
33 Final paragraph
34 STYLE AND LANGUAGE
34 Simplicity
34 Courtesy
35 Idioms and colloquial language
36
C L A R I T Y
36 Abbreviations and initials
36 Numbers
36 Prepositions
36 ACCURACY
36 Spelling
36 Titles, names, and addresses
36 References
37 Prices, measurements, etc.
37 Enclosures and attachments
3 7 Points to remember
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C
en
a
s
y
e
LENGTH
All correspondence should be long enough to
explain exactly what the sender needs to say
and the receiver needs to know . You m ust
decide how much informa tion you put in the
letter: you may give too m uch
.see the letter
on this page,
in which c ase your letter will be
too long, o r too little .
see the letter on page 31,
in which ca se it will be too sho rt. Your style and
the kind of language you use can also affect
the length.
The fo llow ing three letters are written by
different people in reply to the same enquiry
from a Mr Arrand about their compa ny's
products.
To long
There are a number of things wrong w ith this
letter. Though it tries to advertise the products,
and the co mpany itself, it is too wordy. T here is
no need to explain that stores are buying in
stock for Ch ristmas - Mr Arrand is awa re of
this. Rather than draw ing attention to certain
items he m ight be interested in, the letter only
explains what he ca n already see, that there is
a wide selection of watches in the catalogue
covering the full range of ma rket prices. In
addition, the writer goes on unnecessarily to
explain which c ountries the com pany sells to,
to give its history, and to quote its rather
unimpressive m otto.
Dear Mr Arrand
Tha nk you very much for your enquiry of 5 Novemb er which we
received today. W e often receive enquiries from large stores and
alw ays welcom e them, particularly at this time of the year when
we kno w that you w ill be buying in stock fo r Christmas.
W e have enclosed our w inter catalogue and are sure you will be
extremely impressed by our wide range of watches. Yo u will see
that they include ranges for men, wo men, and c hildren, with prices
that should suit all your customers, from watc hes costing only a
few pound s to those in the luxury bracket priced at several
hundred pounds. But wh atever price bracket you a re interested in,
we guarantee all our products for two years.
Enclosed you will also find our price list giving full details of prices
to Lo ndon (inclusive of cost, insurance, and freight) and explaining
our discounts, which we think you w ill find very generous and
which w e hope you w ill take full advantage of.
W e are always available to offer you further information about
our products and ca n promise you personal attention wh enever
you require it. Th is service is given to all our c ustomers througho ut
the world, and as you probably know, w e deal with countries from
the Far East to Europe and La tin America. This fact alone bears out
our reputation, which has been established for m ore than a
hundred years and has mad e our motto 'Time for everyone'-
familiar worldwide.
Once again, may w e thank you for your enquiry and say that we
look forw ard to hearing from you in the near future?
Yo urs sincerely
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Too short
There are a numb er of problems w ith this
letter:
1 It should have begun
Dear Mr A rrand
and
ended
Y ours sincerely
as the writer knew Mr
Arrand's name from his letter of enquiry.
2 Neither the date nor the reference number
of the enquiry are quoted.
3 Ideally, a catalogue should be endosed with
a reply to an enquiry about a co mpany's
products or indication of a w ebsite if the
com pany has one.
4 W hen a ca talogue is sent, attention should be
draw n to items wh ich might be of particular
interest to the enquirer. New products should
also be pointed out.
5 A price list should be included if prices are
not given in the ca talogue. Any disco unts
should be quoted and, if possible, delivery
dates.
Dear Sir
Thank you for your enquiry. We h ave a wide selection of watches
which we are sure you will like. We will be sending a catalogue
soon.
Yours faithfully
e
k
p
u
p
w
The right length
Here is a m ore suitable letter. It is neither too
short nor too long. It provides all the relevant
information Mr Arrand m ight need, and draw s
his attention to some specific products which
ma y be of interest to him.
.See page 33 for the plan for this letter.
Dear Mr Arrand
Thank you fo r your enquiry of 5 Novem ber.
We enclose our winter catalogue, and a price list giving details of
CIF Lo ndon prices, discounts, and delivery dates.
Though yo u will see we offer a w ide selection of watches, ma y we
draw your attention to pp. 23-2 8, and pp. 31 -36 , where there are
styles we think might suit the m arket you describe? On page 25 you
will find our latest designs in pendant wa tches, which are already
selling well.
All our products are fully guaranteed, and b acked by our w orldwide
reputation.
If you need any further information, please contact us. We look
forwa rd to hearing from you soon.
Yo urs sincerely
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ORDER AND SEQUENCE
As well as c ontaining the right am ount of
information, your letter should also mak e all
the necessary points in a logical sequence,
with each idea or piece of information linking
up with the previous one in a pattern that ca n
be followed. Do not make a statement, switch
to other subjects, then refer back to the po int
you mad e a few sentences or paragraphs
before, as in the exam ple.
Uncleav sequence
This letter is difficult to understand b ecause
there is no dear sequence or logica l order.
C
en
a
s
y
e
dem. sequence
Here is a better version of the sam e letter, in
which the ideas and informa tion are in a
logical order.
Dear Sir / Madam
W e are interested in your security systems. W e wo uld like to know
mo re about the prices and discounts you offer.
A business associate of ours, DMS (W holesalers) Ltd, mentioned
your name to us and show ed us a catalogue. They w ere impressed
with the security system you installed for them , so we a re writing
to you ab out it. Do you give guarantees w ith the installations?
In your catalogue we saw the Secure 15 wh ich looks as though it
might suit our purposes. DMS had the Secure 1 8 installed, but as we
mentioned, they are who lesalers, wh ile we are a chain of stores. We
would like something that can prevent robbery and shoplifting, so
the Secure 15 might suit us.
How long would it take to install a system tha t would serve all
departm ents? Could yo u send an inspector or adviser to see us soon?
If you can o ffer com petitive prices and guarantees we wo uld put
your system in all o ur outlets, but initially w e w ould only install
the system in our main branch.
We w ould like to m ake a decision on this soon, so we wo uld
appreciate an ea rly reply.
Yo urs faithfully
Dear Mr Larry
We are a ch ain of retail stores and are looking for an efficient
security system. Yo u were recom m ended to us by our associates,
DMS (W holesalers) Ltd, fo r whom you recently installed the Secure
18 alarm system.
W e need a system w hich wo uld give us com prehensive protection
against robbery and sho plifting throughout all departments, and
the Secure 15 featured in your current catalogue w ould appear to
suit us. Howe ver, it wo uld be h elpful if one of yo ur representatives
could visit us so that we c an discuss details of the available systems.
Initially we w ould test the system we select in our ma in branch,
and, if it proves satisfactory, install it throughout our o ther
branches. Our choice wo uld, of course, be influenced by a
com petitive quotation and full guarantees for m aintenance and
service.
Please reply as soon as possible as we w ould like to m ake a d ecision
within the next few m onths.
Yours sincerely
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a
p
p
u
e
u
u
PLANNING
The w ay to m ake sure you include the right
am ount of information, and in the right order,
is by planning. Ask yourself what the purpose
of the letter is, and w hat response you would
like to receive. Note down everything you wa nt
to include before yo u start writing, then read
your notes to ch eck that you ha ve included all
the necessary information, that it is relevant,
and tha t you have put it in the right ord er.
Here, for example, is the plan for the letter on
p a g e 3 1 .
is t para. A cknow ledge enquiry
znd para. Enclose c atalogue, price list
3rd para. Draw attention to w atches
suitable f orA rrand, and latest
designs
4th para. Men tion guarantees and
reputation
5th para. Encourage further contact
First paragraph
The opening sentence or paragra ph is
important as it sets the tone of the letter and
creates a first impression. Generally speaking,
you wo uld thank your correspondent for their
letter (if replying to an enquiry), if necessary
introduce yourself and your com pany, state the
subject of the letter, and set out its purpose.
Here are two exam ples of opening paragraphs.
Thank y ou for your enquiry dated 8 July in
which y ou asked us about our range of
cosmetics. As y ou probably k now from our
advertising, we appeal to a w ide age g roup
from the teenage m arket through to m ore
m ature w om en, and our products are retailed
in leading stores throughout the w orld.
Thank y ou foryour letter of 19 A ugust, which I
received today. W e can certainly supply you
with the industrial floor coverings y ou asked
about. Enclosed you will find a catalogue
illustrating our wide range of products
currently used in factories and offices
throughout the w orld.
Middle paragraphs
The m ain part of your letter will concern the
points that need to be m ade, answ ers you wish
to give, or questions you want to ask. As this
depends on the type of letter that you are
writing, these topics w ill be dea lt with in later
units. In the m iddle parag raphs, planning is
mo st impo rtant to m ake sure your points are
ma de dearly, fully, and in a logical sequence.
Final paragraph
At the end of your letter, if it is a reply and you
have not do ne so at the beginning, you should
thank your c orrespondent for writing. If
appropriate, encourage further enquiries or
correspondence, m entioning that you look
forward to hearing from him or her soon. You
ma y want to restate, briefly, one or two of the
most important points you m ade in the m ain
part of your letter. Here are some exam ples of
final paragraphs.
Once again thank y ou for w riting to us. Please
contact us if y ou would like any further
information. To sum marize: all prices are
quoted
CIF
Y okohama, delivery w ould be six
we eks f rom receipt of order, and paym ent
should be m ade by bank draft. I look forw ard
to hearing from you soon.
I hope I have cov ered all the questions you
asked, but please contact m e if there are any
other details you require. If y ou w ould like to
place an order, may I suggest that you do so
before the end of this month so that it can be
m et in good time f or the start of the summ er
season? I hope to hearfrom you in the near
future.
W e are confident that you have made the
right choice as this line is a leading seller. If
there is any advice or further information you
need, we w ould be happy to supply it and look
forward to hearing from y ou.
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STYLE AND LANGUAGE
SliffitAcKy
Commercial correspondence often suffers
from an old- fashioned, pompous style of
English w hich com plicates the message and
gives readers the feeling that they are reading
som ething w ritten in an unfam iliar language.
In this letter, all the writer is trying to d o is
explain why he delayed paying his account
but, because of the style, it is too long and is
difficult to understand.
C
e
n
a
d
s
y
e
Here is a simpler version of the letter. Mr
Aldine will be satisfied w ith it because it tells
him simply and clearly what he wants to
know . First, his custom er uses his name.
Second, he has apologized. Third, Mr Aldine
know s his wa s not the only acco unt that wa s
not paid when d ue, and know s why. Finally, he
has his cheque.
Dear Sir / Madam
I beg to acknow ledge receipt of your letter of the 1 5th inst. in
connection with our not clearing our account, which wa s
outstanding as of the end of J une.
Please accept our profuse apologies. We w ere unable to settle
this matter due to the sudden dem ise of Mr Noel, our Accountant,
and as a result were unaware of those acc ounts which were to be
cleared. We now , however, have managed to trace all our
com mitments and tak e pleasure in enclosing our remittance
for 2 ,120, w hich w e trust will rectify m atters.
W e hope that this unforeseen incident did not in any wa y
inconvenience you, nor lead you to believe that our not clea ring
our balanc e on the due date wa s an intention on our part to delay
payment.
W e remain, yours, etc
Dear Mr Aldine
I am replying to your letter of 15 July asking us to clear our June
balance.
I apolog ize for not settling the acc ount sooner, but due to the
unfortunate death of Mr Noel, our Acco untant, there have been
delays in settling all o f our o utstanding ba lances.
Please find enclosed our cheque for 2,12 0, and accept our apologies
for a ny inconvenience.
Yo urs sincerely
Yo ur style should not, how ever, be so simple
that it becom es rude. Here is an exam ple of a
letter that is too short and sim ple.
Dear Mr Rohn
I've already w ritten to you co ncerning your debt of 1,99 4. This
should have been cleared three months ago . You seem unwilling to
co-operate in paying us. We'll sue you if you do no t clear your debt
within the next ten days.
Yours, etc.
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Dear Mr Rohn
I refer to our previous letter sent on 10 October in which you
were asked to clear the balance of 1,9 94 on your account, which
has been outstanding since July. As there has been no reply, I
shall have to c onsider handing over the ma tter to our solicitors.
However, I am reluctant to do this and am offering a further ten
days for the a ccount to be settled.
Yo urs sincerely
a
p
p
u
a
u
o
In the version of the sam e letter, notice the
stylistic devices that are used to make it more
polite: complex sentences, joined by
conjunctions, rather than sho rt sentences
(e.g....
the balance of 1,194, which has been
outstanding ...
rather than
. . .your debt of
.1,994. T his should have been cleared ...);
the
use of full rather than ab breviated forms
( e . g .
I shall have to consider...
rather than
W e'll sue ...) ;
and the use of passive form s
and indirect language that avoids sounding
aggressive
(e.g.... for the account to be settled ...
rather than ...
if y ou do not clear your debt ...).
lolltrns and collog ulal langua ge
It is important to try to get the right 'tone'
in your letter. This means that, generally
speaking, you should aim f or a neutral tone,
avoiding pompous languag e on the one hand
and language which is too informal or
colloquial on the other.
Yo u ma y set the w rong tone by using
the wrong voc abulary or idioms, or using
short form s inappropriately. Here are a few
exam ples, together with a preferred
alternative.
INA PPROPRIATE
FORM
you've probably
guessed
y ou'll get y our
money back
prices
are at
rock
bottom
prices have g one
through the roof
PREFERRED
ALTERNATIVE
y ou are probably
aware
the loan will be repaid
prices are very low
prices have increased
rapidly
On the whole, it is better to avoid using
colloquial language or slang. Apart from the
danger of b eing misunderstood if your
correspondent's first language is not English,
he or she m ay think you are being too fam iliar.
3 5
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C
e
a
s
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e
CLARITY
Yo ur correspondent must be able to
understand what you have written. Confusion
in correspondence often arises through a la ck
of thought and ca re, and there are a numb er of
ways in which this can happen.
Abb reviations and initials
Abbreviations can be useful because they are
quick to write and easy to read. But both
correspondents need to know wha t the
abbreviations stand for.
The a bbreviations c IF and
FOB,
for example,
are
INCOTERMS
wh ich m ean, respectively,
Cost, Insurance, and Freight and Free On Board.
But can you be sure that your c orrespondent
know s that
p p
means
postage and packing?
Som e international organizations, e.g.
NAT
O
(North Atlantic Treaty Organization), are
know n in all countries by the same set of
initials, but m any are not, e.g.
EU
(European
Union) and
UN
(United Nations). National
organizations, e.g. in the UK, c B
(Co nfederation of British Industry) and
TUc
(Trades Union C ongress), are unlikely to be
fam iliar to correspond ents in other countries.
A range of ab breviations are used in email
correspondence r>
see page 22,
but many of
them a re not widely known. If you are not
absolutely certain that an ab breviation or set
of initials will be ea sily recognized, it is best
not to use it.
We saw on page 8 that the use of figures
instead of w ords for da tes can create problem s.
Numerical expressions can also cause
confusion. For exam ple, the decimal point in
British and Am erican usage is a full stop, but a
com ma is used in most continental European
countries, so that a British or American person
wo uld write 4.255
wh ere a French person
wo uld write
4,255
(which to a British or
American person would
meanfour thousand
two hundred and fif ty-five).
If there is the possibility of c onfusion, write
the expression in both figures and wo rds, e.g.
10,575.90 (ten thousand five hundred and
seventy-five pounds, ninety pence).
Preposit ions
Special ca re should be taken when using
prepositions. Th ere is a big d ifference between
The price has been increased
to
450.00,
The price has been increased
by 45o.00,
and
The price has been increased
from
450.00.
ACCURACY
Spell ing
Careless mistakes in a letter can give readers a
bad impression. Spelling, punctuation, and
gramm ar should all be checked carefully. Many
people have com e to rely on the spellchecker in
their com puters to ensure that there are no
spelling mistakes. But a word spelt incorrectly
ma y form a co mpletely different wo rd, e.g.
Please give it some though
(the writer means
thought); I saw it their
(the writer means
there).
A spell checker w ould m iss these mistakes.
Th ere is no substitute for ca refully reading, or
proofreading a letter that you ha ve written.
Th ies, nam es, and add resses
Use the c orrect title in the address and
salutation. Spell your correspondent's name
correctly (nothing creates a w orse impression
than a m isspelled name), and write their
address a ccurately.
If you do not know your correspondent, do
not assume that they are one sex or the other,
i.e. use
Dear Sir /Madam
rather than
Dear Sir
or
Dear Madam.
If you know a correspondent's
nam e but not their sex, use Mr
/Ms,
e . g . Dear Mr
/Ms Barron.
References
Wh en replying to a letter, fax, or em ail, quote
all references accurately so that it is immediately
clear to your reader w hat you are w riting
about.
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Pr i ces , measu rem ents , e tc .
Special care should be taken when quoting
prices or giving specifications such as
mea surements or weights. Quoting these
incorrectly can cause serious
misunderstandings.
Enclosures and attachments
Always check that you have actually enclosed
the docum ents you have m entioned in your
letter, or attached them to your email
>see page 14.
Check , too, that you have
enclosed or attached the right docum ents. If,
for exam ple, the doc ument you are enclosing is
invoice
PI,
/ 23 1, m ake sure you do not enclose
invoice
PL/213.
Wh en ordering, ma ke sure you quote the
order number correctly, especially in
international trade where m istakes ca n be
very expensive in both time and m oney.
Points to remember
1 Include the right amo unt of informa tion. If
you are responding to an enquiry, mak e sure
you ha ve answered all the w riter's questions.
2 Pla n before yo u start writing. Make sure you
say everything you want to say, and in a
logical sequence.
3 Use a simple but polite style of language.
4 Make sure that everything you write is clear
and ea sy to understand. Do not use
colloquial languag e or abbreviations that
your reader ma y not understand. W rite
numbers in word s as well a s figures.
5 Accuracy is important. Pay special attention
to details such as titles and names, and
references and prices, and remem ber to
check enclo sures or attachm ents.
6 C heck w hat you have written when you
have f inished. Make sure everything is as it
should be.
e
A
p
u
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3 9
MAKING ENQUIRIES
39 Opening
39 Asking for catalogues, price lists, etc.
39 Asking for details
40 Asking for samples, patterns, and demonstrations
4o Suggesting terms, methods of payment and discounts
4o Asking for goods on approval, or on sale or return
41 Asking for an estimate or tender
41 Closing
EXAMPLES 42
R.equest for
2
catalogue and price list
42
Request for 2
prospectus
42
Reques's for general information
43 Reply to an advertisement
44
Enquiry from a buying agent
45
Enquiry from a retailer .o a foreign rnanulac'surer
46
Points to remember
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MAKING ENQUIRIES
A simple enquiry can be mad e by email,
fax, or ca ble. The contents of an enquiry will
depend on three things: how w ell you know
the supplier, whether the supplier is based in
your country or abroad, and the type of go ods
or services you are enquiring abo ut. There is
a difference between asking a com puter
com pany about the cost of installing a
com plex computer network and asking a
publisher about the price of a bo ok.
Tell your supplier wh at sort of organization
you are.
W e are a co-operative wholesale society based
in Zurich.
Our company is a subsidiary of U niversal
B usiness Machines and we specialize in...
W e are one of the main producers of industrial
chemicals in Germany, and we are interested
in ...
How did you hear abo ut the com pany you are
contacting? It m ight be useful to point out that
you know their associates, or that they were
recomm ended to you by a consulate or trade
association.
W e were given your name by the Hoteliers'
A ssociation in Paris.
Y ou were recomm ended to us by M r John King,
of L awsom & Davies, Merchant B ankers.
W e were advised by S pett. Marco Gennovisa of
Milan
that
y ou are interested in supplying ...
The B ritish Consulate in Madrid has told us
that you are looking for an agent in S pain to
represent you.
It is possible to use oth er references.
W e were impressed by the selection of
gardening tools display ed on your stand at
this year's Ham burg G ardening E xhibition.
Our associates in the packaging industry
speak highly of y our Zeta packing m achines,
and we w ould like to have more information
about them. Could you send us ...
Aglaqa5
c'ealiW egues, palca Has, etc.
It is not necessary to give a lot of information
abo ut yourself when asking for
CATALOGUE
S ,
price lists, etc. This ca n be do ne by letter, fax,
or ema il, but remem ber to give your postal
address. It is also helpful to point out briefly
any particular items you are interested in.
Could y ou please send your current catalogue
and price list for exhibition stands? W e are
particularly interested in stands suitable for
displaying furniture.
W e have heard about your latest equipment
in laser surgery and would like more details.
Please send us any inform ation you can
supply, m arking the letter For the A ttention of
Professor K azuhiro: T oky o G eneral Hospital,
K inuta-Setagayaku, T oky o, Japan.
I am planning to come and study in L ondon
next autumn and would be grateful if you
could send m e a prospectus and details of
y ourfees. lam particularly interested in
courses in com puting.
Please would y ou send me an up-to-date
price list for your building materials.
i Z o C a n g s
I I C J U
deWL
W hen asking for good s or services you should
be specific and state exactly wh at you want.
If replying to a n advertisem ent, you should
mention the journal or new spaper and its date,
and quote any Box
NUMBER
or department
number give