Download - Coping With Difficult People Slides
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by Robert M. Bramson 1988
Hostile Aggressive:Sherman Tank
Abusive, abrupt, intimidating, overwhelming
Attack personal behaviors and characteristics
The SniperPot shots innuendoes non- la ful teasinsubtle digs, dont like confrontation
The ExploderTantrums, rage e attac s, ame, susp c on
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Coping Plan for Sherman Tanks
Give them a little time to run downJum in an wa ou can
Get their attention (proximity, call by
name)
Get them to sit down
Maintain E e Contact
State your opinions forcefully
Dont ar ue
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Coping Plan for Snipers
Surface the attack
direct contest
of the Snipers criticism
ove on o so ve any pro emsthat arise
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Coping Plan for Exploders
Give them time to run downIf the dont run down cut into thetantrum with a neutral phrase like
stopShow them that you take themseriously
If possible, take a breather withthem to the side and in private
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Complainers:
May point out real problems, butrarel wants to solve them
Feel powerless to determine fate
behave (prescriptive)
e -va a ng a ey are no ncontrol or responsible for things thatare one wrong per ec on sm
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Coping Plan for Complainers
Listen attentivelyAcknowledge what they are saying
Dont agree with them or apologize
Avoid the accusation-defense-re-accusa on
State and acknowledge facts
-mode (ask questions, assign tasks, etc.)
this discussion to end?
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Clams
Silent and unresponsive or respondswith yes, no or grunt
May use body language (staring,
glaring, frowning, folded arms)This may occur for different reasons
Defensive, denying access, distrust,
avo ng rea y, mas ears, su en anger,spiteful
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rGet the clam to open up
Ask open-ended questionsWait for a response, dont fill silencewith conversation
Plan time to wait with composureIf no response, comment on it
If the o en be attentive and dont ush
If Clam stays closed, avoid a politeendin end the meetin and set
another appointment
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Super Agreeables
Strong need to be liked
Tell you things that are satisfying
Commit to unrealistic actions
Lead you to believe that there isagreement and then let you down
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Agreeables
Surface the underlying facts and issuesthat prevent them from taking action
Let t em now t at you va ue t em aspeople
might interfere with your goodrelationship
Be ready to compromise and negotiate
Listen to the humor for hiddenmessages
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Negativist
Criticizes the group process
(skeptic)
with conviction
e eve ose n power o no care
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Coping Plan for Negativist
Be alert to being dragged downMake realistic o timistic statements
Do not try to argue
Do not offer solutions-alternatives untilthe problem has been thoroughlydiscussed
Raise negative statements yourself
Be ready to take action on your own
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Know-it-alls
BulldozersTone of certainty, condescending
Imposing
Assigns blameMake others feel stupid
Balloons
Act knowledgeable, arrogantCurious and alert to information
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Coping Plan for Bulldozers
Prepare yourself
Do not challenge, use questionson or your own u oz ng
tendencies
As a last resort, choose tosubordinate yourself
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Coping Plan for Balloons
Restate facts,
Be ready to fill conversation gapope w m er a one
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Indecisives
Perfectionist at heart
Super-helpful
os pones ec s ons,procrastinates
Hint and beat around the bush
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Indecisives
Make it easy for them to tell you aboutconflicts or reservations
Listen or in irect wor s, esitations,and omissions
issues have surfaced
Hel them examine facts
Give support after the decision
Watch for si ns of an er or withdrawal