DIFFERENT FAMILIES/ DIFFERENT DANCE

CHILDREN OF OF ALCOHOLICS

IN THE CLASSROOMcode: 1181

North Carolina Middle Level EducationMarch 17th, 2014Ann Mary Roberts Radford University

AGENDA

• INTRODUCTION- WHO AM I WHO ARE YOU

• GOALS OF CLASS• DYNAMICS IN THE ALCOHOLIC

FAMILIES• ROLES CHILDREN CAN ADOPT• IMPLICATIONS IN THE CLASSROOM• WHAT CAN TEACHERS DO• QUESTIONS AND CLOSURE

WHAT DO YOU HOPE TO GAIN FROM THIS WORKSHOP?

ASSUMPTIONS

• MAIN ROLE OF PARENTS IS TO PROVIDE FOR NEEDS

• PARENTS ARE HUMAN AND MAKE MISTAKES

CHILDREN OF ALCOHOLICS

Resilient CleverGetting their needs metNot deficient or less than Strengths and limitations

like every other child

MANY VARIABLES INFLUENCE /IMPACT ALCOHOLIC PARENT

Emerging themes in an alcoholic family

Take blameShameGuiltUnclear boundariesDon’t know what is normalDon’t trust feelings/sensesChaosNeed for control

Co-dependent

• Caretaking: become indispensable, become a martyr.

• Assuming responsibility for other's behavior.

• Increasing control efforts when chaos increases, attempting to control everything and everyone,

• Believing that with more effort you can fix the addict/family.

• Accepting only acceptable feelings.

Hero Child

• “little mother/father” in the house

• always does what's right• over-achiever• very responsible • needs everyone's approval• not much fun• controlling• driven

Rebel/ Scapegoat

• hostility & defiance • withdrawn & sullen• gets negative attention-

trouble-maker• independent• truth teller• trouble with addiction

Lost Child

• loner•day-dreamer•solitary (alone) •withdrawn•drifts & floats through life•not missed for days•quiet, shy & ignored

Mascot/Clown

• super cute • immature• anything for a laugh or

attention • ambassador• hyper-active, short attention

span• won’t take things seriously

How do these behaviors manifest in classroom?

Suggestions for Teachers

Emotionally /physically safe place

Compassionate boundariesListen- reflecting feelingsAlert guidanceAdvisory-skills building

Summary

Children of alcoholics are resilient, clever and are just trying to get their needs met like any of us

They have learned a different dance to get those needs met and to take care of their families

Caring teachers can positively impact their dance

ANY QUESTIONS?

It has been my pleasure!annrobertsAROBERTS@RADFORD.EDUCode: 1181