Dining Etiquette Guide

Restaurant Reservations:

Restaurant reservations are like any other appointment. If you make a reservation, stick to it. Call ahead if you’re going to be more than 15 minutes late, and cancel as far in advance as possible if your plans change so that someone else can get a table. Some restaurants take credit card numbers to hold reservations and charge no-show fees.

Napkins: 

In a restaurant:

As soon as you are seated, remove the napkin from your place setting, unfold it, and put it in your lap. Do not shake it open. At some very formal restaurants, the waiter may do this for the diners, but it is not inappropriate to place your own napkin in your lap, even when this is the case.

The napkin rests on the lap till the end of the meal. Don't clean the cutlery or wipe your face with the napkin. NEVER use it to wipe your nose!

If you excuse yourself from the table, loosely fold the napkin and place it to the left or right of your plate. Do not refold your napkin or wad it up on the table either. Never place your napkin on your chair.

At the end of the meal, leave the napkin semi-folded at the left side of the place setting. It should not be crumpled or twisted; nor should it be folded. The napkin must also not be left on the chair. 

VAt a private dinner party:

The meal begins when the host or hostess unfolds his or her napkin. This is your signal to do the same. Place your napkin on your lap, completely unfolded if it is a small luncheon napkin or in half, lengthwise, if it is a large dinner napkin. Do not shake it open.

The napkin rests on the lap till the end of the meal. Place the napkin in loose folds to the left of your plate.

The host will signal the end of the meal by placing his or her napkin on the table. Once the meal is over, you too should place your napkin neatly on the table to the left of your dinner plate. (Do not refold your napkin, but don't wad it up, either.)  

When to eat: 

In a restaurant: 

Wait until all are served before beginning to eat.  

At a private dinner party:

When your host or hostess picks up their fork to eat, then you may eat. Do not start before this unless the host or hostess insists that you start eating.

Silverware and Dinnerware: 

Dinner Setting Photo by Replacement, Ltd.

Use the silverware farthest from your plate first.

Here's the rule:

Eat to your left, drink to your right. Any food dish to the left is yours, and any glass to the right is yours.

Starting with the knife, fork, or spoon that is farthest from your plate, work your way in, using one utensil for each course. The salad fork is on your outermost left, followed by your dinner fork. Your soup spoon is on your outermost right, followed by your beverage spoon, salad knife and dinner knife. Your dessert spoon and fork are above your plate or brought

out with dessert. If you remember the rule to work from the outside in, you'll be fine.  

Use one of two methods when using the fork and knife:

American Style:  Knife in right hand, fork in left hand holding food.  After a few bite-sized pieces of food are cut, place knife on edge of plate with blades facing in. Eat food by switching fork to right hand (unless you are left handed).

Continental/European Style:  Knife in right hand, fork in left hand.  Eat food with fork still in left hand. The difference is that you don't switch hands-you eat with your fork in your left hand, with the prongs curving downward.

Once used, your utensils, including the handles, should not touch the table again. Always rest forks, knives, and spoons on the side of your plate or in the bowl.

For more formal dinners, from course to course, your tableware will be taken away and replaced as needed.

To signal that your are done with the course, rest your fork, tines up, and knife blade in, with the handles resting at five o'clock an tips pointing to ten o'clock on your plate.

Any unused silverware is simply left on the table.

General Etiquette Rules:

Arrive at least 10 minutes early unless otherwise specified. 

Pass food from the left to the right.  

Always say please when asking for something. Be sure to say thank you to your server and bus boy after they have removed any used items.  

If asked for the salt or pepper, pass both together, even if a table mate asks for only one of them. This is so dinner guests won't have to search for orphaned shakers.

Set any passed item, whether it's the salt and pepper shakers, a bread basket, or a butter plate, directly on the table instead of passing hand-to-hand.

Never intercept a pass. Snagging a roll out of the breadbasket or taking a shake of salt when it is en route to someone else is a no-no. 

Food is served from the left. Dishes are removed from the right.  

Butter, spreads, or dips should be transferred from the serving dish to your plate before spreading or eating.  

Never turn a wine glass upside down to decline wine. It is more polite to let the wine be poured and not draw attention. Otherwise, hold your hand over the wine glass to signal that you don't want any wine. 

Always scoop food away from you. 

Taste your food before seasoning it. 

Do try a little of everything on your plate. 

Don't blow on your food to cool it off. If it is too hot to eat, take the hint and wait. 

Keep elbows off the table. Keep your left hand in your lap unless you are using it. 

Do not talk with your mouth full. Chew with your mouth closed. 

Cut only enough food for the next mouthful. Eat in small bites and slowly. 

Don't clean up spills with your own napkin and don't touch items that have dropped on the floor. You can use your napkin to protect yourself from spills. Then, simply and politely ask your server to clean up and to bring you a replacement for the soiled napkin or dirty utensil.  

Do not blow your nose at the dinner table. Excuse yourself to visit the restroom. Wash your hands before returning to the dining room. If you cough, cover your mouth with your napkin to stop the spread of germs and muffle the noise. If your cough becomes unmanageable, excuse yourself to visit the restroom. Wash your hands before returning to the dining room.  

Turn off your cell phone or switch it to silent or vibrate mode before sitting down to eat, and leave it in your pocket or purse. It is impolite to answer a phone during dinner. If you must make or take a call, excuse yourself from the table and step

outside of the restaurant. 

Do not use a toothpick or apply makeup at the table. 

Whenever a woman leaves the table or returns to sit, all men seated with her should stand up. 

Do not push your dishes away from you or stack them for the waiter when you are finished. Leave plates and glasses where they are. 

Proper Tipping Etiquette:

At a restaurant, always leave a tip. Tips can vary from 15% to 25%. 

Waiter: 15% to 20% of the bill; 25% for extraordinary service

Wine steward: 15% of wine bill

Bartender: 10% – 15% of bar bill

Coat check: $1.00 per coat

Car attendant: $1.00 - $2.00

Remember that the amount you tip reflects the total price before any coupons, gift certificates, etc. Just because you get a discount, does not mean that your server did not serve up the full order.

If the owner of the restaurant serves you himself, you should still tip him. He will divide the tip among those who work in the kitchen and dining room.

Specific Food Etiquette Guide:

Artichokes:  It is both proper and polite to pluck the leaves with your fingers, leaving fork and knife aside for now.

Pull off a leaf, holding it by the pointed end. Put the other end in your mouth and pull it between your teeth, scraping the length of the leaf (the edible portion of the leaves becomes greater as you get closer to the center of the artichoke).

Just before you get to the very center, leaves will become almost white with purple tips. Be careful of these leaves because their purple ends are prickly. When the leaves are pulled, you will be left with the base, the heart, crowned with a fuzzy patch. You have now reached the best part of all, the very reason for eating artichokes: the heart. Carefully scoop away the fuzzy stuff with your knife or spoon (though a properly prepared artichoke will already have the choke removed). With knife and fork, cut bites from the heart like pieces of prime fillet.

If you're provided with a dip such as a vinaigrette or mayonnaise, put a small part of the edible portion of the leaf in the dip and scrape with your teeth as directed above. Don't overdo it on the dip or you won't taste the artichoke.

Asparagus:  Most etiquette books say that you can eat whole asparagus spears, without a sauce, by picking up with your hand. However, if you do this at a restaurant or dinner party, you will draw strange glances.  Be safe and use your knife and fork to cut and eat them.

Avocado:  If the avocado is served in its shell, it is eaten with a spoon. If it is sliced on a plate or in a salad, eat it with a fork.

Bacon:  The rule is simply that bacon with any fat on it should be eaten with a knife and fork. If it is very crisp, crumble it with a fork and eat it with your fingers.

Berries:  Generally, eat berries with a spoon, whether they have cream on them or not.

Bread:  Break slices of bread, rolls and muffins in half or in small pieces never larger than one bite. Butter each bite at a time. Small biscuits do not have to be broken. It is never appropriate to cut a roll with a knife.

When the rolls are served in a basket, take one, and always pass the basket to your right. Place the roll on the break plate, which is located on the left side. Never tear your roll in half or into many pieces.

Use your own butter knife and the butter on your plate; buttering should be done on the plate or just above it.

Caviar:  To preserve the full flavor of caviar, scoop it out using mother-of-pearl utensils, and NEVER  use a metallic spoon metal oxidizes the eggs), which will create an unwanted (and pretty horrid) metal bite. If necessary use a wood or plastic spoon.

Don’t mush caviar up while you’re serving yourself or other, lift the spoon carefully. Caviar should be scooped from the container vertically from top to bottom to avoid crushing the egg.

If caviar is passed to you in a bowl or crock with its own spoon, serve a teaspoonful onto your plate. As the following accompaniments are offered, use the individual serving spoon in each to take small amount of minced onion and sieved egg whites and yolks, as well as a few lemon slices and a couple of toast points. Assemble a canapé to your taste with a knife, then use your fingers to lift it to your mouth.

If you're at a cocktail party or reception, where prepared caviar canapés are being passed on trays, simply lift one off the plate and pop it into your mouth.

When served caviar as an hors d'oeuvre, no matter how much you might be tempted by its luscious flavor. It's considered bad taste to eat more than an ample serving of about two ounces, or about two spoonfuls.

Chicken:  Chicken is eaten with a fork and knife.

Chips and French Fries: Chips are eaten with the fingers and French fries with a fork. Never pick up the whole piece and bite part of it off.

Clams and oysters in the half shell: Hold the shell with the left hand and lift the clam out using your oyster fork.

Crab, shrimp and lobster cocktails: These are eaten with a cocktail fork.

Crab/lobster claws: Cracked with a nutcracker, broken with the fingers and the meat taken out with an oyster fork.

Fried Fantail Shrimp: Picked up by the tail and eaten with the fingers.

Olives:  Generally, olives are considered a finger food. It is perfectly acceptable to pick up and eat an olive with your fingers. Remove pit with your fingers. If you prefer not to use the finger method, use a small fork to stab olive and remove olive from your mouth.

Depending on your dining situation, you can either choose to eat olives or leave them on the plate.  If you are on a job interview, don’t eat them. Also, in a highly formal dinner, don’t eat them.

Emily Post indicates that, where olives are part of a salad, they are treated like the rest of the salad and taken in by fork and the pit deposited on the fork to return.

Pasta or Spaghetti:  The perfect method for eating spaghetti or other long stringy pasta is to twirl it around your fork. Use a spoon to help if needed. It is also acceptable to cut pasta with a knife and fork.

Pineapple:  Use a knife and fork to eat fresh pineapple slices.

Potatoes: Baked potatoes are most often served already slit. If not, cut across the top with a knife, open the potato wider with your fork, and add butter or sour cream and chives, salt, and pepper. You may eat the skin as you go along. Don't take the insides out and put the skin aside (or take the foil off). Eat it by scooping out the insides bite by bite.

Risotto: Using a fork or a spoon, push the grains of cooked rice out slightly toward the edge of the bowl, eating only from the pulled out ring of rice. Continue spreading from the center and eating around the edges in a circle. This will keep the risotto hot as you enjoy your risotto.

Salad:  If you are served large pieces or a whole wedge of lettuce, cut one bite at a time, using the knife provided. If the salad is served before or after the main course, use the smaller fork. If the salad is considered the main course, use the entrée fork.

Sandwich: Small sandwiches, such as tea sandwiches or canapés, may be picked up and eaten with your fingers. Large sandwiches, if not cut in halve, should be cut with your knife before lifting and eating. Any hot sandwich served with a gravy requires a knife and fork.

Shish-kabob: Hold the tip of the shish-kabob in one hand and use the dinner fork to remove the pieces with the other. When all the food has been removed from the stick, place it on the side of your plate. Always eat the meat with your utensils.

Soup: Dip the spoon into the soup, moving it away from the body, until it is about two-thirds full, then sip the liquid (without slurping) from the side of the spoon (without inserting the whole bowl of the spoon into the mouth). It is perfectly fine to tilt the bowl slightly (again away from the body) to get the last spoonful or two of soup.

Sushi: Sushi is served in bite size pieces. You can eat sushi using your fingers, chopsticks or a fork. Never bite pieces in half as they are meant to be eaten whole. Sushi is usually enjoyed by dipping into soy sauce or other condiments in your own small saucer.

Wine:  Ho w To Successfully Taste Wine - Wine Tasting Basic

Basic Essentials ofDinner Table Etiquette

The basic principles of proper dinner table etiquette.......and how to avoid social embarrassment!

Here you will find tips on dinner table etiquette that will help you through any formal or semi formal lunch party or dinner party.

The 10 easy DO's, and 10 easy DON'Ts of good table etiquette!

But first of all, a little general advice on.....

Simple, Good Manners

Always respond to an invitation within a week of receiving it. Dress according to the recommended (if any) dress code. NEVER attempt to "out

dress" the hostess!

Be punctual - never more than 10 minutes late.

If you wish to bring a guest as your partner, good dinner table etiquette demands that you should always check with the host first. If you are the one hosting the party and a guest of yours arrives with an unexpected friend, be polite & courteous with them, and speak with your inconsiderate guest at another time!

It is considered polite to take along a small gift (CLICK HERE for suggestions), for your host and hostess. Flowers, chocolates or champagne are always appreciated.

Other Pages on Dining EtiquetteTable Setting Etiquette Tips

Etiquette for the 21st CenturyYour Dinner Etiquette StoriesInternational Etiquette Tips

Dinner Table Etiquette - the 10 Do's!

1. Once seated, unfold your napkin and use it for occasionally wiping your lips or fingers. At the end of dinner, leave the napkin tidily on the place setting.

2. It is good dinner table etiquette to serve the lady sitting to the right of the host first, then the other ladies in a clockwise direction, and lastly the gentlemen.

3. Hold the knife and fork with the handles in the palm of the hand, forefinger on top, and thumb underneath.

4. Whilst eating, you may if you wish rest the knife and fork on either side of the plate between mouthfuls. When you have finished eating, place them side by side in the center of the plate.

5. If the food presented to you is not to your liking, it is polite to at least make some attempt to eat a small amount of it. Or at the very least, cut it up a little, and move it around the plate!

6. It is quite acceptable to leave some food to one side of your plate if you feel as though you have eaten enough. On the other hand, don't attempt to leave your plate so clean that it looks as though you haven't eaten in days!

7. Desserts may be eaten with both a spoon and fork, or alternatively a fork alone if it is a cake or pastry style sweet.

8. Should a lady wish to be excused for the bathroom, it is polite for the gentlemen to stand up as she leaves the table, sit down again, and then stand once more when she returns.

9. Always make a point of thanking the host and hostess for their hospitality before leaving.

10. It is good dinner table etiquette to send a personal thank you note to the host and hostess shortly afterwards.

To post your own dinner etiquette story on this site

CLICK HERE

Dinner Table Etiquette - the 10 Don'ts!

1. NEVER start eating before a signal from the host to do so.2. Forks should not be turned over unless being used for eating peas, sweetcorn kernels,

rice or other similar foods. In which case, it should be transferred to the right hand. However, at a casual buffet, or barbecue, it is quite acceptable to eat with just a fork.

3. It is not generally regarded as good dinner table etiquette to use one's bread for dipping into soups or mopping up sauces.

4. Loud eating noises such as slurping and burping are very impolite. The number one sin of dinner table etiquette!

5. Talking with one's mouth full. is not only unpleasant to watch, but could also lead to choking! Definitely not a good idea!

6. Don't stretch across the table crossing other guests to reach food, wine or condiments. Instead ask a guest sitting close to pass the item to you.

7. Good dinner table etiquette sometimes involves a degree of diplomacy when it comes to the host's choice of food and wine! Even if you feel that you can do better, don't ever offer your criticism. If you feel unable to pay any compliments, at least remain silent on the subject.

8. Picking teeth (unless toothpicks are provided) or licking fingers are very unattractive! The only exception to the latter is when eating meat or poultry on the bone (such as chicken legs or ribs). In which case, a finger bowl should be provided.

9. Drinking too much wine can be very embarrassing! Where a different wine is served with each course, it is quite acceptable to not finish each glass.

10. Don't forget to make polite conversation with those guests around you. Dinner parties are not just about the food, they are intended to be a sociable occasion!

Proper Dinner Party Etiquette.....Gourmet Food......the EASY way!

Dinner Etiquette

Positioning of a Place Setting for Dinner

Click on an area of the picture to learn more.

Place Plate -The place plate is placed one inch from the edge of the table.  If the first course is already on the place plate, the napkin is placed to the left of the forks, otherwise the napkin will be on the plate. 

Forks/Flatware -Handles of the flatware are aligned at the bottom.  The forks (no more than three) are at the left of the place plate, placed in order of use, working from the outside in.  The oyster fork is the only fork on the right side with the knives, tines of the fork placed upward, across the soup spoon or parallel with the knives.

Often in North America the salad is served prior to the main course.  In this case, the salad fork is positioned the furthest from the plate on the left.  One would use this fork first.  In the case of French style dining, the salad would be served after the main course.  In this case, the salad fork would be positioned next to the plate.

Knives -Knives, no more than three, are at the right of the place plate in order of use, from the outside in, with the cutting edge toward the plate.  The only spoon (for a first course) is placed to the right of the knives.

Dessert Silverware -The dessert fork and spoon are above the place plate, the bowl of the spoon facing left, the fork below facing right.  In the most formal setting, the dessert fork and spoon are brought in on the dessert plate.

Glassware -No more than four glasses are set on the table, in order of use, for water, white wine, red wine and champagne, from the left to the right.

Full Glasses -When filling glasses, note the above diagram. Don't overfill!

Stemware -Note the shapes of each type of stemware. They all have a unique shape and should only be used for their respective drinks.

Bread and Butter Dish -The butter plate (optional) has the knife placed across the top of the plate, handle to the right, edge of blade toward the user.  The salt and pepper are above the place plate, pepper to the left of salt.  Larger salts and peppers to be shared are placed slightly below the wine glasses and between every two place settings.

At the end of the meal, you should place your used silverware close together on the plate, with the utensils entirely on the plate (less than an inch of the silverware over the side of the plate).  This is a signal to the servers that your meal is finished and the dishes can be removed. 

For a formal dessert service, a waiter brings each guest a finger bowl filled with water.  The bowl is set on a small lace or organdy doily (optional), which in turn sits on the dessert plate.  The dessert fork and spoon are balanced on the plate in this case (instead of sitting at the top of the place setting throughout the meal.)  A guest should dip finger tips in the finger bowl, wipe them on his or her napkin, and then remove the finger bowl and doily to the upper left of the place setting.  He or she now moves the fork and spoon from the plate to the left and right of the plate respectively.  The empty plate is now ready to receive a helping of dessert.

Proper Eating Style

The correct way to cut your meat, whether eating American or continental style, is to grasp your knife and fork in a relaxed, natural manner, never with clenched fists.

In the American style of eating, after cutting your meat, you switch the fork to your right hand, place your knife on the plate, spear a piece of meat, and then eat it.

In the Continental eating style, you keep your fork in your left hand and convey the food to your mouth after cutting each piece.  The knife remains in your hand and may be subtly used to get meat or any other food.

a quick journey through a formal dinner

Arriving at the table

If you’re a guest, look for your place card. If there isn’t one, wait for the host to indicate where you should sit. When you get to your place, remain standing and offer to hold the chairs for the women sitting to either side of you. Once the hostess has taken her seat, or as the host sits down, you may sit.

Immediately place your napkin on your lap. Don’t tuck it into you shirt or belt or shake it out to unfold it. Just lay it on your lap.

If you don’t know the people seated on either side of you, introduce yourself. Depending on how big the table is, you should also nod and say hello to any other people in your vicinity.

The place setting

Intimidated by all those glasses and all that silverware? Not to worry: They’ve actually been placed with great care to make it easy for you to know when to use each item.

You’ll find the knives and spoons on the right side of your plate, and forks on the left. (The only

exception is an oyster fork, which will be on the right. This fork is used for oysters, raw clams or shrimp cocktail.) The correct order of use is from the outside in. This way, the outlying utensils are gradually stripped away as the meal progresses, leaving the utensil for the next course on the outside of the place setting.

The rules on nose blowing at the table and how to scoop up that last bit of soup without making a mess…

Some restaurants think they are being fancy by setting the dessert spoon and fork at the top of the place setting (the fork closer to you and with its handle pointing to the left, the spoon further away with the handle pointing to the right.) You can’t control what restaurants do, but when you’re setting a table at home, especially for a formal meal, the dessert spoon and fork should not be part of the table setting. It’s more appropriate to have them accompany the dessert.

Your glassware is set to the right side of your table setting, just above the knives and spoons. The types of glasses used will vary depending on what beverages are going to be served. The glasses are arrayed in descending size, from left to right. The water glass -- the largest -- is on the far left. To its right comes the red wine glass, then the white wine glass, followed (in theory) by a champagne glass and a sherry glass. Of course, that’s a lot of glasses! It’s more common to have a water glass, a red wine glass and a white wine glass arranged from left to right.

The butter plate and butter knife (if there is one) are set above the forks on the left side of your place setting. The butter knife is typically placed on the edge of the butter plate.

If you don’t order a particular course at a restaurant, the waiter will remove the utensils that would ordinarily be used for that course, so you will have the proper utensils for the next course on the outside of the place setting.

During the meal

Don’t toss your tie over your shoulder to keep from dribbling on it.

Do hold the red wine glass by the bowl. It’s easier to balance it that way, and the warmth from your hand won’t affect the wine. However, always hold your white wine glass by the stem, to prevent your body heat from taking the chill off the wine.

Nose blowing: A quick wipe in an emergency is okay, but true nose blowing should happen in the rest room.

Yes, you may tip your soup bowl to spoon up that last bit of soup. At a formal dinner, tip the bowl away from you, and fill your spoon with a motion that moves your spoon away from your body -- not to be pretentious, but to avoid splattering your clothes.

At the completion of the soup course, if the soup bowl is a shallow one, leave the spoon in the

bowl with the handle pointing to the right. If it’s a deep bowl and there is a plate under it, place the spoon on the edge of the plate, again with the handle pointing to the right.

Never put a dirty utensil directly onto the table.

There are two opposing rules about when to start eating. Emily believed in enjoying a meal while it was still warm. Following this philosophy, when you’re with a group of friends in a relaxed situation, it’s acceptable to begin eating once at least three people have been served. In a more formal situation or at a business meal, however, you should wait until everyone has been served or until the host or hostess says something like, “Please start right away. Don’t let your food get cold waiting for ours to be served.”

Passing the salt correctly and the right way to cut your meat…

If you are the host, once three plates have been served, let the people who have been served know that it’s all right for them to start. As Emily noted, it would be a shame to let that delicious food start cooling, just because every guest hasn’t been served yet.

When you need salt and/or pepper, always ask for both. Likewise, if someone asks you for “the salt,” pass both.

Don’t salt or pepper your food until after you’ve tasted it. Once I mistakenly salted split pea soup before tasting it. Turns out it was salty to begin with. After I finished salting it, it was inedible.

If you want to take a break from eating, simply place your knife and fork on the plate with the tip of the knife and the tines of the fork positioned at the top of your plate. Tines up or tines down? Knife blade facing one way or the other? It doesn’t really matter -- just do it neatly, and you’ll be fine.

I can’t stand to leave a really good sauce sitting on a plate. But use bread to mop up that fantastic sauce, not your fingers. Break off a small piece of bread, then use your fork to push the bread around in the leftover sauce and then bring the morsel to your mouth.

When you’re cutting your meat, slice off one bite-size piece, eat it, then cut the next piece. Unless you’re preparing a plate for a young child, don’t cut a whole steak into bite-sized pieces and then start eating.

If you need to leave the table during the meal, gently fold your napkin so that any soiled parts are covered, then lay it on the table to the left of your place setting. Do the same thing when you leave the table at the conclusion of the meal.

At the end of each course, picture your plate as a clock. Then place your knife and fork on your plate side by side in the four o’clock position. Don’t get anal about whether your dinner partner “made a mistake” because he or she placed the fork above the knife, or left the blade of the knife facing away from the fork. If you are that focused on other people’s faux pas, then you’re

missing the real point of good table manners and formal dinners, which is to enjoy the company you are with.

Dessert arrives. As the host, you’ve made the choice to serve dessert at the table. You cut the first piece of black forest cake and place it on the nearest plate. As you do, some frosting gets on your finger. “Man, it looks good,” you think to yourself. “What about just a quick lick?” Don’t do it. Either wipe your fingers on a napkin, or keep serving as if nothing happened.

If wine or coffee is being served and you don’t care for any, don’t turn your glass or cup over. Simply tell the server, “No, thank you.” If you are served anyway, simply leave the glass or cup alone and go back to your conversation, which is much more important, anyway.

At dinner’s end

As a guest, don’t take it upon yourself to call a close to the evening. As you’ve done throughout the evening, take your cues as to the proper time to leave from other guests and from your host.

When the time comes for you to bid farewell, thank your host for a special evening with all the warmth and sincerity you can muster. Also, make sure to say good night to the people who were sitting on either side of you and to the other diners who were near you at the table.

Finally, when you get home that evening, take a few minutes to write a brief thank-you note of three to five sentences to your host. Address and stamp the envelope, and put the note in a place where you’ll see it and remember to mail it the next morning. Your host will appreciate your thoughtfulness, and you will have cemented your reputation as an engaged, gracious dinner guest -- ensuring that you’ll get invited back again.