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Elephants and Mahouts: Conflict Engagement
for WikipediansHumansBoards Training Day, WMCON 2018, Berlin
Asaf Bartov <[email protected]>
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Are we going to learn how not to have conflicts, ever?
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nope.
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But we are going to learn how to have better conflicts!
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orhow to have conflicts better!
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Understanding conflict
● Conflict ≠ disagreement○ Conflict is disagreement that activates our emotional resources
● Approaches to conflict on Wikipedia○ Re content: discuss; consensus; transcend and represent the conflict○ Re behavior: rules and boundaries; adjudication by community and
committees; sanctions and exclusion
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Avoiding conflict
● An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure:○ e.g. magical recipe – clear and open communication:
■ 1. Framing■ 2. Advocating■ 3. illustrating/supporting■ 4. Inquiring
○ Pay attention to the elephants! (explained in a moment)
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Wiki and communities as living systems
● All systems need new input/feedback to survive (and grow)
● Difference/feedback is also seen as threatening because systems are defined by boundaries
● Healthy systems balance openness to input/change AND boundaries that maintain and protect. (e.g. notability policies)
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Ideas vs. Emotionsdistinction #1
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Mahout on an elephant; artist unknown
gouache on paper; Murshidabad, India; 18th century.
(Victoria and Albert Museum, London)
An unrelated but very warm book recommendation: The Elephant's Journey, by José Saramago
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Ideas vs. Emotions: the Resistance Line
Jokes and sarcasm Gossip Strike/disruption
Excuses Slowness Open war / separation
– (Lewis 2008)
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What do people want from a leader?
● Inclusion○ "Do I belong?"; "Will I get to participate/influence X?"
● Respect○ "Is the value I bring recognized?"; "Is my
experience/opinion given due deference?"● Fairness
○ "Am I treated like everyone else?"; "Am I discriminated against?"; "Are others favored?"
– (McKinsey 2016)
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Ideas vs. Emotions: what to do?
● Mirror; agree with what you can; solicit more opinions and support; give agency
● Build consensus around majority; seek maximal accommodation of minority view; recognize their frustration. Support face-saving.
● Use humor to heal and not to harm● Shut out bad faith (trolling = deliberately upsetting
elephants); recognize rider-less elephants (lost control)
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Ideas vs. Emotions: What to do [Summary]
● What to do?○ Listen to your elephant; respect it; manage it○ Listen to others' elephants; respect them○ Make disagreement safe; criticism = feedback; ○ People need to be heard; and to feel heard.
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Group discussion 11. What upsets your elephant?
2. Think back to a recent on-wiki conflict; how were elephants upset, exactly? Did anyone manage to calm them? If so, how?
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Talk page exercise 1(optional)
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Positions vs. Interestsdistinction #2
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[[File:Iceberg.jpg]], CC-by-sa 3.0 by Uwe Kils (iceberg) and User:Wiska Bodo (sky).Modified by Asaf Bartov.
What we state (or think) we want.
What actually matters to us.What we're trying to protect or ensure.
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Positions vs. Interests: what to do?
● Examine your interests. Why are you so passionate/determined about this position? ("5 Whys")
● Inquire into the interests of others.● Observe and report on others' conflict● Evaluate your interests according to objective criteria and
reconsider your position.
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Group discussion 2Think back to a recent conflict:
Were the interests and needs expressed, or only the positions?
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Talk page exercise 2(optional)
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People vs. Rolesdistinction #3
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All the world's a stage, And all the men and women merely players; They have their exits and their entrances, And one man in his
time plays many parts
--William Shakespeare, As You Like It, Act II, Scene VII
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People vs. Roles
● Roles can be formal (admin, chairperson) or informal (copyright expert; grammar nerd; devil's advocate; peace maker; joker)
● Recognize your role(s). What roles do you take? What roles are you given? What roles do you fall into?
● Conflict can be seen as interaction between roles; shifting roles and people can shift the conflict.
● You can play many parts!
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Projection● A tendency to attribute to others
what we’re not able or willing to see in ourselves (whether positive or negative).
● "X is a troll"; "Y is at it again"; "we need Z"
● But people also project out of expectations and mental models. (Aristotle on 'character')
● We all project; we all respond to projection
● What roles are projected onto you?Sigmund Freud, 1939, in LIFE. Public domain.
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People vs. Roles: what to do?
● Reduce projections● Make roles fluid (don't resist people changing roles)● Focus on expressing your (current) role, rather than
attacking others' roles.● What roles do you tend to avoid? Why? What's valid about
them nonetheless?● Model flexibility; be the change you want to see. :)
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Group discussion 31. What roles do you usually play?
2. What roles are projected onto you?
3. What roles are you interested in trying?
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Talk page exercise 3(optional)
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Patterns That WorkAccumulated wikiwisdom
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Some More Patterns That Work
● Assume Good Faith (yup)○ +[[Hanlon's Razor]], +WP:PACT
● Reframe, focus, restate, weed out irrelevance and digression● Exclude trolls (deny recognition; pick out substance and
restate)● Fix broken windows. Model good behavior and act against
bad behavior when the stakes are small.● Avoid favoritism; fair and due process for everyone.
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Sources
● Inside the No, Myrna Lewis, 2008● Getting to Yes, Roger Fisher and William Ury, 1981● McKinsey Quarterly, Feb 2016● Dr. Aftab Erfan, University of Vancouver● Meatballwiki
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Thank you for your [email protected]