Getting to yes
Separate people from problem&
Inventing options for mutual gain
Group 8DeCarlos EvansLarry ChiKeith MacyLouie Glanton
Negotiation on the merits
• People– Separate the people from the problem
• Interests– Focus on interest, not position
• Options– Generate a variety of possibilities before deciding what
to do• Criteria– Insist that the result be based on some objective standard
Why use negotiation on merits?
• Change the game of negotiation by…
1 Creating alternative to positional bargaining2 Participants are problem solvers3 Producing a better outcome4 Efficiency5 Amicable process 6 Building a long term relationship
Separate the people from the problem
• Easier said than done• Avoid positional bargaining• Diagnose the situation• Focus on the problem• Be soft on the people, hard on the
problem
Easier said than done!• We often see people and problems as one• Pre-conceived attitude (past experience or outside influence)
– Confirming a negative impression• Words or phrases used
– Use positive tone words (hand out)» Avoid using words like:
• you, your, you people and your company• Tone & Mood
– Your tone set your audience’s mood» Your tone express your attitude» Mood is your audience’s Emotion created by your tone
Caution– If you create a STRONG emotion,
» it is almost impossible to removed a negative emotion» it will be their Emotion dictating their decision and not facts or
merits
Mind Set or attitude check prior to any negotiation
– They are NOT your friends or adversaries
– They are someone you work with to resolve issues
– They are people just like you• They have emotions• Deeply held values (Intrinsic) • They like to be listened to or heard from
– Show care towards their…• Feelings• Problems • Concerns
Separate the people from the problem
Substance Relationship
Avoid Positional BargainingPositional bargaining deals with a negotiator’s interests; both in substance and in a good relationship by trading one off against the other.
You can’t have them both!
Separate the people from the problem
• Diagnose the situation– Who are you dealing with?
– Principle or negotiator • Gather information• Organize received info• Formulate strategies
• Focus on the problem• Have a clear identifiable goal
– What you are trying to resolve?• Concentrate on the merits• Avoid stating any unfounded facts
– People & Substance Interest– Confirming a negative impression
Separate the people from the problem
• Be soft on the people, hard on the problem– People have feelings and emotions just like you– Separate people problem from substantive problem
To better understand ourselves, we need to understand human problems
• 3 Basic human problems– Perception– Emotion– Communication
3 basic human problems• Perception– “Their thinking is the problem”• Your perception is your reality, so what are you think?
» If you don’t know, just ask » Don’t assume you know
• Knowing how they think will help you solve your problem
“The ability to see the situation as the other side sees it, is the most important skills a negotiator can possess.”
3 basic human problems• Emotion– What is effecting yours and theirs emotion?• Excitement• Frustrations• Nervousness• Anger• Fears • Hatred
Are you fit to negotiate?
3 basic human problems• Emotion– Don’t react to emotional outbursts• Caution: It could be a trap! • Allow the other side to let off steam• Listen quietly without responding to their attack
» Its hard and it takes disciplines and training» Do not respond with any sarcasm» Do not show irritation or confrontational gestures » Keep a steady facial expression
• Occasionally ask the speaker to continue until he has spoken his last word
» Leaves little or no surprises » Your goal is to “understanding how they think or feel”
3 basic human problems
• Communication– Can be difficult
– Misunderstanding– Too much distractions – Didn’t pay enough attention– Unclear on debated issues or problems– Thinking about your next argument and forget to listen
“Whatever you say, you should expect that the other side will almost always hear something different”
3 basic human problems
• Communication– Listen actively and acknowledge what is being said
– Ask for a clearly stated and or defined objectives from other party
– Clarify any ambiguity or uncertainty
– Seek complete clarification on all facts before negotiation
– Understanding is NOT agreeing– Speak for a purpose – Know what you want to communicate
Preparation
• Mind set or attitude check• Take time to meet with other party before
negotiation begin (Be early & proactive)• Identify all key players• Gather information • Identify – Common Goals & Interests– Problems to be solved
Invent Options for Mutual Gain
“Skills at inventing options is one of the most useful assets a negotiator can have”
Why?• Efficiency• Avoiding Deadlock• Helping you to help me• Identify the differences between you and me• Create a solution that they might readily accept
Invent Options for Mutual Gain
How?• Brainstorm with the absence of the other side• Choose a few participants• Clarify and set ground rules• Select and present ideas for consideration• Expert opinions• Seek for mutual gain
Brainstorm with the absence of the other side
• Internal group discussion• Participants need not worry about disclosing their…
» Feelings & opinions» Confidential information
• Free from criticism • Avoid having ideas taken to be a serious comment or
commitment to perform• Encourage free flow of ideas
Choose a few participants• Select a small group of people
• Participant from your party• Define your purpose or wishes to be accomplished• Friends or family member for more creative thinking
CautionWhen consider brainstorming with members from other side…
Risk• Risk of disclosing confidential information• Misleading an option to be an offer
Benefit• Creating a climate of joint problem-solving• Informing each side about the concerns of the other
Clarify and set ground rules
• Separation• Separation of Inventing from Criticism or judgment• Only new innovative ideas and solutions are allowed• Consider all possible ideas “Real” or “Imaginative” • Record all presented ideas
Select and present ideas for consideration
• Select several ideas• Identify and select best ideas for farther discussion• Deciding which of these ideas to be advanced in your
negotiation• Formulate a strategy
» Placed each idea in order of presentation» From best to worst » From worst to best
Expert opinions
• 3rd Party’s opinion• A different point of view• How does your argument holds up from the
perspective of different professions• Resolving any technical issues• Provide expert opinions • More solutions could be generated
Seek for mutual gain
• Think outside the box• More than one way to skin the cat• Leave other side satisfy as you accomplished your goal• Create a Win Win situation
• Identify shared interest• What do we all have in common?• Shared interests help produce agreement• Create new opportunities from your common goal• Shared interests can make your negotiation smoother &
amicable
Differences
• Many creative agreements reflect this principle of reaching agreement through differences
• Interest• Beliefs• Values
• Presenting interests • What is preferable, not necessarily acceptable• More favorable method of presenting interests
Decision
• Make their decision easy• Your success in negotiation, depends on how easy you
make it for the other side• Make it simple
» No hidden agenda» No deceiving of truth, facts or material
• Prepare multiple possible agreement• Start with the most simplest one• Start drafting your possible agreement as you present
them
Preparation
• Be prepare to invent options• Inventing options is not an alternative, it is a necessary
process of your negotiation
• Mutual gain will create…• Cooperation & compromising• Long term relationship • Amicable process
Inventing mutual agreements• What is good for me can also be beneficial to you
• Avoid weighted negotiation
• Avoid possible deadlock• If a decision is made by force or under pressure, it is very difficult to
change therefore; by inventing mutual agreements that benefit both sides can drastically reduce a deadlock
• Identify the differences• Creates opportunities and discover common goals
• Make it easy for them to decide• Efficiency
• Prepare multiple possible agreements• Start from the simplest• Be ready to draft your agreement during your presentation