Download - How To Undo I Can't - Webinar Slides
How to undo “I can't ...”
Andy HuntPractical Wellbeing
© Andy Hunt, Practical Wellbeing 2013
If you think you can, or you think you can't,
you're right!
Henry Ford
What is “I can't” ?
Image courtesy of seyed mustafa zamani
I can't ...
● speak in public
I can't ...
● speak in public● fall in love
I can't ...
● speak in public● fall in love● say that to my mother
I can't ...
● speak in public● fall in love● say that to my mother● leave this job
I can't ...
● speak in public● fall in love● say that to my mother● leave this job● get out of this relationship
How can we challenge the “can'ts”?
How can we challenge the “can'ts”?
Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP)
How can we challenge the “can'ts”?
Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP)
The Meta-Model
How can we challenge the “can'ts”?
Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP)
The Meta-Model
Modal Operators Of Possibility
Unpacking “I can't”
The Meta Model gives us a couple of questions to help you unpack “I can't”.
Unpacking “I can't”
The Meta Model gives us a couple of questions to help you unpack “I can't”.
But, before I tell you what they are, think of an “I can't” that is operating in your life
Unpacking “I can't”
The Meta Model gives us a couple of questions to help you unpack “I can't”.
But, before I tell you what they are, think of an “I can't” that is operating in your life
Got one?
1st Question
I can't …
1st Question
I can't …
What stops you?
1st Question
Two Sorts of Answers● Emotional blocks to moving forward
– Memories of times when you learned this
– Other beliefs
– Etc
1st Question
Two Sorts of Answers● Emotional blocks to moving forward
– Memories of times when you learned this
– Other beliefs
– Etc
● Acknowledgement of ignorance– “I don't know how”
2nd Question
I can't …
What would happen if you did?
2nd Question
Answer● Undesired consequence(s) of stepping beyond
that limitation.
A Question Of Time
Now
What stops you? What would happen if you did?
PAST FUTURE
Tapping On Can'ts
Tapping On Can'ts
1. Unpacking the stoppers
Tapping On Can'ts
1. Unpacking the stoppers
2. Unpacking the what-ifs?
Tapping On Can'ts
1. Unpacking the stoppers
2. Unpacking the what-ifs?
3. Rehearsing a better future
Unpacking The Stoppers
Standard setup
Even though I can't … I accept myself and how I feel x 3
Unpacking The Stoppers
Alternate statements● EB: I can't ...
Unpacking The Stoppers
Alternate statements● EB: I can't …● SE: What stops me?
Unpacking The Stoppers
Alternate statements● EB: I can't …● SE: What stops me? ● UE: I can't ...
Unpacking The Stoppers
Alternate statements● EB: I can't …● SE: What stops me? ● UE: I can't …● UN: What stops me?
Unpacking The Stoppers
Alternate statements● EB: I can't …● SE: What stops me? ● UE: I can't …● UN: What stops me?● …
Process answers to the question
Unpacking The What-Ifs
Alternate statements● EB: I can't …
Unpacking The What-Ifs
Alternate statements● EB: I can't …● SE: What would happen if I did?
Unpacking The What-Ifs
Alternate statements● EB: I can't …● SE: What would happen if I did?● UE: I can't …
Unpacking The What-Ifs
Alternate statements● EB: I can't …● SE: What would happen if I did?● UE: I can't …● UN: What would happen if I did?
Unpacking The What-Ifs
Alternate statements● EB: I can't …● SE: What would happen if I did?● UE: I can't …● UN: What would happen if I did?● ...
Unpacking The What-Ifs
Alternate statements● EB: I can't …● SE: What would happen if I did?● UE: I can't …● UN: What would happen if I did?● …
Process answers to the questions
Rehearsing A Better Future
Imagining that you could …● EB: I can't …
Rehearsing A Better Future
Imagining that you could …● EB: I can't …● SE: and what if I could … ?
Rehearsing A Better Future
Imagining that you could …● EB: I can't …● SE: and what if I could … ?● UE: I can't …
Rehearsing A Better Future
Imagining that you could …● EB: I can't …● SE: and what if I could … ?● UE: I can't …● UN: and what if I could … ?
Rehearsing A Better Future
Imagining that you could …● EB: I can't …● SE: and what if I could … ?● UE: I can't …● UN: and what if I could … ?● ...
Advantages Of This Process
● Simplicity – just 3 questions
Advantages Of This Process
● Simplicity – just 3 questions ● Exploratory – user unpacks their own
experience
Advantages Of This Process
● Simplicity – just 3 questions ● Exploratory – user unpacks their own
experience● Respectful – you are not having to take on
someone else's reframes or ideas.
Advantages Of This Process
● Simplicity – just 3 questions ● Exploratory – user unpacks their own
experience● Respectful – you are not having to take on
someone else's reframes or ideas.● Future oriented – mental rehearsal paves the
way for doing things differently
Practice Suggestions
● Make a note of every time you think or say “I can't … “, then process those can'ts
Practice Suggestions
● Make a note of every time you think or say “I can't … “, then process those can'ts
● When someone else says “I can't ...” (and it's appropriate) ask them “What stops you?” or “What would happen if you did?”