Giving Transforms Us and the WorldOn December 17, 2015, your Church Council adopted a budget for 2016 totaling $1,534,629. This budget incorporates the cost of:

• Discipling people of all ages through the many opportunities we provide for Christian Formation,

• Providing a space for worship and work as

we gather to praise God and study His Word, provide meals and clothing to those in need in our community, and provide a safe place for preschoolers to learn,

• Compensating the pastors and staff who facilitate all of our efforts, and

• Sending aid to those in need in our community and around the world totaling over $265,000 or 17% of our total budget through our conference and our denomination in addition to our church’s direct missions support.

All of this is made possible because of your willingness to grow in generosity in giving.

As of December 17, 2015, our church received commitments to give from 300 households

The Wellspring January 2016Fuquay-Varina

United Methodist Church

Continued on page 7

Spring Confirmation Class Registration OpenRegistration for this year's Confirmation class is now open to all students 8th grade and older!

To meet the needs of our students and their schedules, there are several time slots being considered for this class. Concrete dates and times will be announced in mid-January, and the class will run from the end of January through April.

Email Bobby Rackley (brackley@fvumc.org) for questions and go online to fvumc.org/spring-confirmation to register.

On Sunday, January 24 beginning at 5:00pm, we will have our first Leadership Summit. This gathering is designed to equip and connect everyone who is serving at FVUMC in 2016 - whether through an administrative committee, on a ministry team, or in other capacities such as Sunday School leaders, small group leaders, etc.

5:00pm Gathering in the Centrum Mission and Ministry Where is God calling us?6:00pm Dinner6:45pm Breakout groups7:30pm Best Practices7:45pm Worship and Communion

Everyone is welcome! Please join us. Registration is available online at fvumc.org/leadership-summit or by calling 919-552-4331.

Leadership Summit

January 245-8pm

SWFCA Is FACES: Family & Community Empowerment ServicesSWFCA has a new name with the same mission and an expanded vision: To be a Christ-like community organization devoted to empowering families to live successful and stable lives. For over 50 years, the organization first founded as Fuquay Family Aid Council (1964) has served those in need in our community. More recently known as Southern Wake Faith Community in Action, this faith-based, community focused non-profit corporation has

worked hard to help our neighbors facing financial challenges. Over the years, people have been helped to avoid eviction from their homes, avoid the loss of electricity in freezing or sweltering weather, or avoid going without the benefit of a life-needed prescription. This year 282 of our neighbors have been assisted with $43,555.61 and we give

ZOE Working Group Continues to Thrive

Your faithful gifts to FVUMC’s general budget empowered our Missions Team to continue supporting a ZOE working group. Through ZOE’s empowerment program, children living in extreme poverty situations are given education, tools, and training to care for themselves and their families.

FVUMC is partnered with Los Truinfadores (The Winners) Working Group in La Esperanza, Guatemala. This year has been filled with hard work and great progress. ZOE has guided the children down paths of discovery and they have learned:

• They possess strengths and talents that will enable them to overcome their disadvantages,

• They are someone of value who can contribute to the community,

• They do not have to face challenges alone,• And that God has not forgotten them.

As part of their food security program, they are growing corn and black beans. This is an activity

Missions Updates

The past 6 months have been amazing and full of many blessings and challenges. The biggest challenge has been the language barrier. But this challenge has brought with it great blessings as we encounter many people of Costa Rica who are very patient when they realize we are trying to learn.

Our Spanish has progressed to a point where we can stumble through most situations, whether trying to purchase items in the pharmacy or hardware store, or trying to successfully complete the many levels required to register our car and pay taxes for next year. As Karen told a friend here “it does take a village” to complete things and learn the system(s).

Les spent three days working with Hill Harris, a doctor from Denver, and Marshall Cobb, a retirement financial adviser from Houston, at

Operation Share Served Local FamiliesWith your help, our youth collected nearly 1,000 toys and books for children in the community, including over 50 bicycles from the Spiritual Spinners cycling team. While 110 children received gifts directly from Operation Share, more families benefited from your generosity. Donations remaining after our Christmas Store were divided among other organizations – With Love from Jesus, the Key Club of Fuquay-

Varina High, and to military families through Military Missions in Action.

¡Hola! from Costa Rica Updates from the Page family

Continued on page 4

Continued on page 6

Continued on page 42

Holy Conversations: Sacred Space for Open DiscussionAnother shooting, another bombing, another plane shot down, these are headlines we have become all too familiar with. Emotions run high, and fear prevails instead of calm consideration and conversation. News organizations and politicians capitalize upon our emotions to secure more viewers and higher approval ratings. Yes, friends, the days are dark, indeed.

As Christians, we are tempted to forget our grounding in these times of upheaval. We can be caught up in the hype of hatred and the ferocity of fear. Rather than speak to one another in truth in love, we try to speak over one another. A quick glance at any one of the number of social media outlets and we can see this at play.

What’s a Christian to do? I submit that what the bible teaches is that we are to have a conversation, a holy conversation. In Paul’s letter to the Philippians, he tells his readers to not worry about life but to turn all requests over to God - a remarkable statement coming from someone who was in prison at the time for his faith.

Fear and all that goes with it, such as worry or anxiety, subsides when we approach the God who has all things, both great and small, in God’s hands. Everything that belongs to the realm that’s beyond our control, belongs in the hands of the most holy God.

Where are we to find holy conversations in the church? Holy conversations at FVUMC happen in a number of places. Our Growth Groups and Sunday school classes provide a place to dialogue about life’s issues. These are sacred spaces where faith can be openly talked about, encouragement can be received, and comfort given.

Recently, FVUMC’s Peace with Justice group launched a new quarterly series of Holy Conversations. The desire for these gatherings is to bring together varying views on current events so as to have an open discussion in a Christian context. Issues, such as immigration reform, mental health, racism, gun control, and creation

Continued on page 11

UM Social Principles on Health and Human DignityPeace with Justice will be holding a Holy Conversion on February 12 to discuss health and human dignity as it relates to our daily lives. Everyone is invited to attend. The intent of the event is to open a dialogue about these issues and how they impact our daily lives as Christians and Methodists. Save the date and be a part of this important discussion.

As a denomination, The United Methodist Church has adopted a series of statements, called the Social Principles, addressing issues in the contemporary world from a biblical and theological foundation. Below is an excerpt related to our upcoming conversation:

The Social Community: Right to Health Care

Health is a condition of physical, mental, social, and spiritual well-being. John 10:10b says, “I came so that they could have life—indeed, so that they could live life to the fullest.” Stewardship of health is the responsibility of each person to whom health has been entrusted. Creating the personal, environmental, and social conditions in which health can thrive is a joint responsibility—public

and private. We encourage individuals to pursue a healthy lifestyle and affirm the importance of preventive health care, health education, environmental and occupational safety, good nutrition, and secure housing in achieving health. Health care is a basic human right.

Providing the care needed to maintain health, prevent disease, and restore health after injury or illness is a responsibility each person owes others and government owes to all, a responsibility government ignores at its peril. In Ezekiel 34:4a, God points out the failures of the leadership of Israel to care for the weak: “You don’t strengthen the weak, heal the sick, bind up the injured, bring back the strays, or seek out the lost.” As a result all suffer.

The right to health care includes care for persons with brain diseases, neurological conditions, or physical disabilities, who must be afforded the same access to health care as all other persons in our communities. It is unjust to construct or perpetuate barriers to physical or mental wholeness or full participation in community.

We believe it is a governmental responsibility to provide all citizens with health care. We encourage hospitals, physicians, and medical clinics to provide access to primary health care to all people regardless of their health-care coverage or ability to pay for treatment. 3

that “The Winners” are enjoying very much. Some of the group members, especially the girls, never had the experience of working at the fields before, and they feel that this is very important because they are learning many new skills. Also, the leadership board of “The Winners” has expressed that the field work has helped the whole group to interact with each other and to learn more about teamwork.

They group also celebrated the opening of the first personal business of one of their members. After

receiving a grant to purchase tools, Gustavo opened a carpentry shop! His father has disabilities and has had difficulties providing enough for the family. With the shop, Gustavo is learning from his dad about this work. They are making a dining room set ordered by a neighbor and have two more orders in place. The whole working group prays about Gustavo’s business at their weekly meetings. Many of the group members seem more enthusiastic now about opening their own businesses.

As a group project, Los Truinfadores have begun a pig farm. They rented a piece of land and worked very hard to build a pigsty for their 11 piglets and improvised a small shack where the boys take turns staying overnight to guard their farm. The girls are in charge of feeding the pigs. The group is very motivated to make this business succeed.

Prayer requests from Los TruinfadoresThe group asks for the following prayers:

• For the growing of their seeds and for abundant crops as they seek food security for their families.

• For being able to stay together and work as a team because they are facing some difficulties to integrate all members. Los Truinfadores is the largest of all the ZOE groups. Their homes are very spread out and some of them have to walk for about an hour to attend the weekly meetings and ZOE activities.

wholehearted thanks for God’s provision.

This organization has strong leadership and a dedicated group of volunteers. It is uniquely positioned to turn a vision of successful and stable families into reality. Reflecting the expanded vision, mission, and purpose, the new name, FACES, emphasizes the value of every face that we greet as each neighbor enters our door; and, in that moment, we gaze into the face of Christ. (Matthew 25:40)

Not only will FACES seek new ways to help people in crisis, it will also strive to give people the tools necessary to avoid future crises. Coaching, education, inspiration, mentoring, spiritual support and training will all be marshaled to help clients prepare for lives of success and stability.

Further, FACES will seek to enlist local, county, state, and federal resources to ensure that help is delivered to the hurts and hopes of clients, both now and into the future which God has prepared for each of us, a future filled with families living successful, stable lives.

Currently, 14 local churches, including FVUMC, are proud partners with FACES. The partner churches provide financial support and also are the source of our volunteers.

FACES is grateful for all of the church partners and looks forward to moving joyfully into that bright future which God has already prepared. (1 Corinthians, 2: 9, 10)

Please keep FACES in your prayers as the organization continues to deliver help to those in need in and around our community.

SWFCA Is FACES from page 2

ZOE Guatemala Working Group from page 2

Animal husbandry training

4

January 2016 If you’ve ever taken a look at the FVUMC calendar, it can fill up quickly! Leadership Summits, Discovery, Scouts, meetings, and choir practice for Easter (Yes Easter! It’s early this year!) are just a handful of needs for space. Without careful planning, it can be chaos!

Chaos is easy to achieve. It doesn’t take any effort at all. It just happens.

Take my office for instance. It’s in a state of chaos at this very moment! Things are not in their place. Things are not where they belong.

There are colorful fall leaves and pumpkins all mixed in with wisemen, stars, crowns. There are palm branches left over from last Palm Sunday! There’s a shovel by the door, a prayer board from the Women’s Conference, a stack of new member packets in the chair, and some packages the UPS man dropped off. It’s a real mess! If someone comes in for a chat, I have to clear off a chair for them to sit down.

Not only can our work spaces become cluttered and chaotic, our worship spaces can get cluttered, too! Clutter can be distracting, take up valuable space, and even become hazardous.

January seems like the perfect time to think about good practices for our church!

One step we’ve taken to help bring chaos into order is to place some large baskets along the wall in the hall just behind the Welcome Center. The baskets are labeled for food pantry items, lost and found, etc. We invite you to start using them! Also, if you are collecting items for a FVMUC ministry, let us know, and we’ll try and label a basket for you!

Another good practice is to remember to take down sign-up sheets, displays, tables, etc. once your event has been completed. It keeps the space looking tidy hospitable AND safe!

The first chapter of Genesis beautifully describes God as Creator. Not only did God create, God took the chaos and brought it into order!

As we begin a new year together as a community sharing space, let’s work together to be intentional about the good practice of order!

Blessings! Pastor Valerie Tyson

vtyson@fvumc.org Pastor of Welcoming & Congregational Care

Register For Kids NPraise by Jan. 18Kids NPraise is the FVUMC Children’s music program that meets Wednesday afternoons during the school year at 4:30 pm for singing, instruments, drama, games and more! The program is open to all children 3-years old through 6th grade. The children will gather each week to learn music for worship as well as to work toward a spring musical production. Kids NPraise begins Wednesday, January 20. Register before Jan. 18 online at fvumc.org/knp-registration. Registration after Jan. 18 available only as space allows.

In Our Thoughts and Prayers

We offer our prayers and sympathy:

To Lewis Cockerill on the death of his brother

To Shari Judd on the death of her mother

Addison Tompkins, PJ Ramsey, Nathan Ter Meer, Derrell Sapp, Lisa Selph, Bob Kinton & Family, Rolf Wuerfele, Coy Jones, Gus Prince, Christy Carver, Mike Smith, Maxine Senter, Bob Tebo, Susan Buker, Betty Palmer, Julie Banner, Glenna Eargle, Bruce Wynne, Vikki Casanave, Susan Greer, Carole Drake, Larry Rose, Anderson Ward, Doug Bennett, Joy Sarles, Mike Tucker, Joan Lesher, Nancy Patrone, Jim Cleary, Bob Pavone, Ron Richardson, Bob Sheets, Bernard McLeod, Dan Sass, Mary-Anne Hatch, Koyla Knox, Judy Dolan, Cornelia Coble, Vicky Croft, Tom Myatt, Carol Chambers, Lois & David Stuart, Jakob Kish, Mario Marchese, Rob Matney, Iris Brown, Logan Thomas, Dee Chisenhall, Jeff Fox, Emily Ashworth, Craig Judd, Clay King, Jill Zatyko, Sue Simkiss, Bill Young, Howard Hanmann, Fran Applegarth

Fuquay-Varina Food PantryJanuary Requests: Chili, Crackers, Cereal,

Dish Soap - No glass jars, please5

In November, we visited Ometepe Island in Lake Nicaragua with our friend who grew up there. We attempted to return to Costa Rica on the 15th, however the Nicaraguan military shut down the border due to an influx of Cuban refugees attempting to cross from Costa Rica.

It took two days to get the backlog cleared once the border was opened (not to the Cubans). On Tuesday the 17th, we were told the backlog was cleared up so we headed to the border to return to Costa Rica. Trucks waiting to cross were backed up for 10 kilometers. We went through the Nicaraguan side quickly with US passports. As we approached the actual crossing point, there were armed Nicaraguan riot police in formation, 50 feet in front of them a rope across the road, a line of Costa Rican police, and hundreds of Cubans sitting, still waiting to cross.

The “lot” where our car was parked had been turned into a camp. People had been bathing beside our car and a clothesline was being put up across the lot. More miles of trucks lined the road waiting to go north. Many other Cubans and truckers had retreated to the nearest towns on each side of the

border in hopes of finding food and shelter.

After seeing and knowing what was happening at the border, and knowing the journey of the Cuban refugees, we decided we needed to do something.

The next morning Marshall Cobb of Houston, Tx and Les drove back to the Costa Rica/Nicaragua border. On the way we bought tortillas, packs of refried beans, powdered milk, cans of tuna, rice, soap, boxes of individual packs of crackers, water, large bottles of flavored tea, and bananas.

On Thanksgiving morning, while FVUMC was preparing 500 meals, the three of us returned to the border with 50 bags of food. Many of the same people were there including a young pregnant woman. Angelee heard one young man exclaim “Wow, wow, wow!” as he opened his bag and saw the food and soap that now belonged to him.

— Les Page

Strong Missions alongside a team from Greenville Christian School in Texas. We bent rebar for construction of the first building on Strong's new property. We also spent two days cutting old coffee plants and digging up the root balls where the second building will be constructed. Needless to say we were tired at the end of each day. Strong is looking forward to the FVUMC team coming in 2016.

We said goodbye to our close friend Sue, a Unitarian pastor from Maine. Sue and her two daughters arrived here in August. Grace, Sue's oldest daughter, will remain in Costa Rica for her senior year. Sue and Ellie took mosaic and another art class with Karen and Angelee and helped in the library. This family is a perfect example of the diverse group of people locally and from around the world that make up this community.

Angelee finished her fall semester with A's. We love The Cloud Forest School, however, they are changing from a block schedule and changing the math

program from English to Spanish. With these mid-year changes, we have decided it will be in Angelee's best interest to change to Escuela de Amigos (Friends School), the Quaker school, in January. Friends has a higher academic standard and has a 12th grade which CFS lacks. Angelee knows many students at Friends and is excited about the change and challenge.

We found out that we will definitely need to change houses in July. We have several possibilities but it will be mid-January before we know anything. Continued prayers are appreciated. Our son, Connor, joined us for Christmas. He arrived in mid-December. We later traveled Texas to visit Karen's family and Les visited our oldest son, Ryan.

We thank you for your support, love and prayers. We look forward to what God has planned for us, FVUMC, and each of you in 2016.

Yours in Christ, Les, Karen, and Angelee Page

¡Hola! from Costa Rica continued from page 2

Cuban Refugees and Thanksgiving Deliveries

A makeshift camp at the Costa Rica / Nicaragua border

6

Epiphany“Epiphany” marks the culmination of the Advent-Christmas Season cycle. January 3 is Epiphany Sunday and is the Sunday we celebrate the coming of the three wise men who brought gifts to the Christ child. English doesn’t really have its own word that quite says what the Greek word captures. Epiphany! It’s a word that merits an exclamation point in English. It’s always something surprising, unexpected, exciting, even startling.

The prophet said to the people standing in ruins: “Arise, shine for your light has come! The glory of the Lord is risen upon you!” Epiphany!”

This new year represents an Epiphany for us as we find ourselves in a time of new beginnings and new opportunities. I am looking forward to being “startled” and “surprised” at the marvelous things God is going to do through the people and ministries of FVUMC as we seek to grow in our discipleship. To God be the glory!

We begin our new message series on January 10 called, “Did God Really Say...”? We will be looking at

phrases that we hear every day attributed to God but. Did God really say that? Our first message is “Did God really say, “God helps them who helps themselves.” Be sure to invite a friend to attend worship during this powerful message series.

Grace & peace, Pastor Gene Tyson gtyson@fvumc.org

2015 Budget Summary *Detailed monthly financial reports are always available

in the church office for your review.

Total Annual Budget $ 1,514,405.35Budget needed YTD - 11/30/15 $ 1,236,013.99Received YTD - 11/30/15 $ 1,231,715.87 Difference ($ 4,298.12)

Building Fund Restricted Account - 10/31/15 $ 70,107.56Building (Brick & Mortar Expenses Only) Restricted Account $ 20,000.00 Total - 10/31/15 $ 90,107.56

YTD Budget Expenditures as of 11/30/2015 $ 1,266,308.84

Sunday Worship AttendanceDec

6Dec 13

Dec 20

Dec 27

2015 Average

Christmas Eve

8:00am 94 55 94 94 78 3:30 5839:30am 495 536 419 419 389 5:30 57511:00am 302 508 304 n/a 277 7:30 562Total 891 1099 817 513 744 11:00 253

totaling $1,194,572. Those commitments include 158 households that did not make such a commitment in 2015 totaling $479,836 and 95 households that increased their commitment for 2016 as compared to 2015 totaling $87,130. The total commitments received, coupled with anticipated gifts based on

historical trends, enable us to adopt such a budget.

As we said during our “Will You Grow” campaign, our giving is not about funding a budget but about our response to God’s generosity toward us. However, our giving transforms us and the world around us as we are able to minister in the name of Jesus Christ through your gifts.

So on behalf of every person who will benefit from your generosity and from your church leaders as we seek to lead our mission to make disciples of Jesus Christ for the transformation of the world, I say THANK YOU. May God bless you for your faithfulness and commitment.

Susan Smith Finance Team Chair

P.S. A summary of the 2016 budget will be included with the 2015 Giving Statements mailed at the end of January 2016.

Giving Transforms from page 1

After Jesus was born in Bethlehem in the territory of Judea during the rule of King Herod, magi came from the east

to Jerusalem. They asked, “Where is the newborn king of the Jews? We’ve seen his star in the east,

and we’ve come to honor him.” Matthew 2:1-2

* During the last week of 2015, our church management software, which is hosted online, had technical issues. No data was affected, but it prevented us from entering records from the last Sunday of December.

A full report will be available in the church office and will be included in the February Wellspring. 7

Circle of Faith MeetingsCircle of Faith meetings are held on the first Tuesday of the month at 10am. All women are encouraged to attend! This is a community of women whose purpose is to know God, to experience freedom as whole persons through Jesus Christ, to develop a creative supportive fellowship, and to expand concepts of mission through participation in the global ministries of the church.

Tuesday, January 5 ~ 10:00am Room 117 Tuesday, February 2 ~ 10:00am Room 117

Serving Our Community: Clothing Closet Give-Away Shares God’s Abundance

The Clothing Closet is a ministry offered quarterly to provide free clothes for those in need in the church and community. Our guests receive a Christian welcome, breakfast, printed devotion and help finding what they need.

To make this outreach possible, it takes many hours of setup and organizing donations. Ways you can share the gift of your time:

• Help bring the clothing from the sheds into the building. Trucks needed! Wednesday evening Feb. 3 time TBD

• Organize and sort donations Thursday Feb. 4 from 9am-4pm & Friday Feb. 5 from 9am-2pm

• Offer a warm greeting to our guests (or help clean up) at the give-away on Saturday Feb. 6 from 8-10am — Cleanup immediately following

Other ways to get involved include donating trash bags or baked goods/breakfast items for the shoppers and also bringing clothing donations to the church on Thursday or Friday. It is extremely appreciated if you sort donations by gender/size and clearly label each bag.

Contact Heather Williams for questions at 919-818-0453 or williams2002@nc.rr.com.

Columbarium ApprovedOur zoning exception petition was approved in December by the Fuquay-Varina Board of Adjustments, paving the way for Phase 1 construction to start in the next few weeks! Don’t forget, the price of each two-person niche remains at $3,000 until our on-site construction begins and then increases to $3,500. An installment plan is available. And, for younger church members who may be concerned about making such a long-term commitment, there is a provision that allows for a refund should you have to relocate. If you have been considering a niche purchase, now is the time to purchase. Visit fvumc.org/columbarium or email kentate@embarqmail.com for more information. Thanks to everyone for their prayers, support and patience!

January Book Club The Secret Wisdom of the Earth by Christopher Scotton

After seeing the death of his younger brother in a terrible home accident, fourteen-year-old Kevin and his grieving mother are sent for the summer to live with Kevin's grandfather in an Appalachian coal town. Kevin quickly falls in with a half-wild hollow kid named Buzzy Fink who schools him in the mysteries and magnificence of the woods. When Buzzy witnesses a brutal hate crime, Buzzy and Kevin are tested to their absolute limits in an epic struggle for survival in the Kentucky

mountains. Redemptive and emotionally resonant, the book is narrated by an adult

Kevin looking back on the summer when he sloughed the coverings of a boy and took his first faltering steps as a man.

To join the dinner and discussion on Friday, January 15 at 6:30pm, contact Suzanne Jones at dsjones@nc.rr.com or Matilda Storm at matildastorm@embarqmail.com.8

Get Plugged In with Children & Family MinistriesThe Children and Family Ministries at FVUMC are ready to kick off 2016! We have a lot of opportunities for children to love, learn, serve, and share God.

Sunday Mornings - 9:30am

Nursery

Sunday School – Interactive classes for age 2 through 5th grade

Covenant Kids – Class for children in K-2nd grade. Allows children to attend part of worship with their families and participate in a modified Sunday school class

Sunday Mornings - 11:00am

Nursery

Preschool Sunday School – Uses same lessons as 9:30 Sunday school hour

Children’s Moment – All children (K-5th grade) begin in the Centrum with their families and are then invited up to the front for the Children’s Moment during the service. Afterward, children may return to sit with their families for the remainder of the worship service, or they may exit to attend Children’s Worship.

Children’s Worship – Designed for Kindergarten-5th grade children. Children exit the Centrum following the Children’s Moment and have praise and worship, large group lesson, games, and small group discussion in room 117/119. Children are then dismissed from room 203 on the children’s wing.

Sunday Evenings - 4:30-6pm

FaithWeaver Friends (FWF) – a small group experience for 2nd-3rd graders

Kids for Christ (KFC) – a small group experience for 4th-5th graders

Wednesday Afternoons 4:30pm

Kids NPraise - our music program. See page 5

Now is the time to get your child plugged into the children’s ministry here at FVUMC! If you would like to volunteer for any of these ministries or if you have any questions, please contact Amanda Rackley at arackley@fvumc.org or (919)552-4331 for more information.

One Question Every Parent Should AskThe rush of Advent and Christmas is over, but this is the time of year we all find ourselves evaluating and re-evaluating our lives and our decisions. This is the time of year we make resolutions and promise to ourselves and our families. I came across this article a few weeks ago by Carey Nieuwhof and thought that it would be fitting for this time of year!

Amanda Rackley, Director of Children and Family Ministries, arackley@fvumc.org

We teach our kids about wisdom. But let’s be honest…how do you make wise choices? We’re all rookie parents when we bring home our first child. We have to figure out each age and stage—from scratch. If kids were cookie cutter similar, we could crack the parenting code by kid number three. But for some inexplicable reason, God made them all a little different, confusing most parents permanently.

If you’re like me, wisdom is always most clear in hindsight. Ask me now, and I can tell you what we should have done with our 5-year old who wouldn’t eat grown up food. The problem is he’s 21 now and married. That kind of wisdom doesn’t help me one bit today. I needed it when he was five.

So how do you make wise decisions? For sure, you should read books and blogs, have some wise counsel in your life from trusted family members and friends, and pray a lot. But recently, I’ve stumbled on a question that has given me clarity in decision-making across the board, and it’s helped me so much at home. It’s a fairly simple question that helps me make better decisions in the moment.

Five years from now, what will I wish I had done?

I can be genuinely torn about a decision, but when I ask the question, “Five years from now, what will I wish I had done?” I get clarity. Not every single time. But almost every single time. I know I will have wished I’d made more time for relationships, had the tough conversations, honored the limits we put in place, spoken with more grace, fought for my marriage, controlled my temper, kept my heart open wide, not stopped loving, made him finish his vegetables (I’m pretty sure about that now…).

Wisdom comes with experience. And in some strange way, if you can get a glimpse of yourself five years from now you will know—instinctively—what you wish you had done in the very moment you’re in now. Once you know that. . . Just go do it. 9

A quick internet search reveals the worries many parents feel when it comes to their teen’s friends. “How to spot a bully”. “How to spot a bad influence”. “How to spot the wrong crowd”. There is plenty to worry about when it comes to your child’s friends.

But what if you have more influence than you think? What if you were able to not only help your teen choose friends, but to directly influence the life choices those friends make?

More and more studies say you can. A study published in the archives of Pediatric and Adolescent Medicine suggests that teens with friends who have strict parents are less likely to binge drink and make other poor life choices. (http://fowler.ucsd.edu/parental_influence_on_substance_use.pdf)

Think about that. The students in this study were most influenced by their friends’ parents, not just their friends. In fact, you probably don’t need a lot of research to know this. Have you ever heard someone say, “She is like a second mother to me”. Probably so. Many of us grew up with at least one

set of friend’s parents

who influenced us. Part of maturing is beginning to listen to multiple voices, multiple adult influences. As parents, we have an incredible opportunity to speak into our own children’s lives by using our influence to guide their friends.

Having influence on your child’s friends doesn’t mean you have to be the “cool one”. It doesn’t mean you have to host or allow parties, throw caution to the wind, and be their best buddy. It also doesn’t mean you have to legally adopt them or have them over every night of the week. Having influence can be as simple as taking one step toward including a

friend in your normal family plans.

• Invite them in. Invite your teen’s friends to spend time at your house. You don’t have to do anything special or make a five star dinner. For a lot of students, the concept of a normal (even boring) family dinner is almost unimaginable. Simply being in a home with someone other than their own parents can offer students a

Continued on page 11

For the month of January, we are focusing on friendship: the “entourage” of people who surround us day-in and day-out. When we hear the word entourage, most of us think of celebrities walking

the streets of Beverly Hills, barking orders at their “people”—people that work for them or just get paid to hang out with them. By definition, an entourage is a group of people attending or surrounding an important person. Even if we don’t feel important, most of us want at least a

handful of people who like to hang around us—people who laugh at our jokes, go to the movies with us, and simply have our back. King David, his son Absalom, and his grandson Rehoboam

were no different. As royals, each had an entourage, and through their experiences we see that the choices we make with those around us can change everything.

Bobby Rackley, Director of Youth and Family Ministries, brackley@fvumc.org

Youth & Family Ministries

Try ThisEveryone wants their teen to be wise and intentional when it comes to friends. And the best way to teach that skill is to model it. Think about the friends your teen already spends time around. How intentional are you about investing time in those people? Are you using your influence to help that person in any way? Is there one teen you could invite to dinner, to hang out, or to be helpful?

Use the questions below to help you figure out how you can be intentional with your teen’s friends.

• Which three people does my teen spend the most time with?

• One friend I can pray for this week is...

• One friend I can invite & invest in this month is...

Entourage: Focus on Friendship in January

10

Entourage from page 10different perspective on things like marriage, work, family, and decision-making. So don’t feel the need to put on a show or have the most fun house on the block. Just allow someone else to be a part of your family once in a while. You may have more impact than you think.

• Invest in them. Invest time and energy in your teen’s friends. Talk with them, ask questions, and listen. Teens are often more likely to open up to other teens’ parents than their own. Do you know how to fix a car or bake a cake? Can you fish, play tennis, or scrapbook? Offer to show them! Sometimes the best conversations take place while working on something else. Chances are they’ll appreciate the new skill and your own student is more likely to join in if their friends are involved.

care, often divide our society. How are we to be a united community when we find ourselves on different sides of these issues? Our culture offers us little in the way of exemplary models for dialogue. It is up to us to take time and talk. It is up to us to make sacred space to come and learn to listen to one another.

What makes these conversations holy is not that they take place in a church but that it takes place between Christians. Disagreement is invited. Argument is invited. Bitterness, resentment, and back-biting are not. Perhaps, if we can learn to listen to one another, we can learn to talk to one another in love and truth. If we can learn to converse, then perhaps we can share the words, “peace be with you” even when we don’t agree.

What are we to do when the days are so dark? When the world seems out-of-control and fear drives the culture? Turn to the holy God in conversation, the God who is love, a love that casts out all fear, and tell God about your fears and concerns. God is listening.

Go to Sunday School or join a Growth Group and find sacred space to voice your doubts. Come to Holy Conversations in February and share in difficult conversation about health & human dignity (see page 3). Whatever you do, may the God of all heaven and earth grant you peace.

Matt Seaton, mseaton@fvumc.org Pastor of Christian Formation & Missional Outreach

Conversations from page 3

Key Dates for Youth:• Sunday, January 10 – Lifeline Resumes

• Wednesday, January 13 – Life Groups Resume

• Friday-Sunday, January 22-24 – Discovery Weekend (No Lifeline)

Scouts High Adventure Crew Fundraiser 2/27Mark your calendars - on February 27 at 5pm, the Scouts High Adventure Crew is hosting a fun evening including a spaghetti dinner, dutch oven bake-off, gear sale and silent auction. Proceeds from this fundraiser support the crew’s programs. The dutch oven bake-off is open to anyone who wants to show off their camping cooking skills, with prizes awarded. Our gear sale includes "gently used" and "still useful" outdoor gear to include backpacks, clothing, and other related items. If you have items or services to donate for the Silent Auction, please contact Kathy Moger at 919-780-7540.

Youth MusicThe FVUMC Youth Choir is for current 6th-12th graders and rehearses on Thursday evenings, 6:45 – 8:00 pm. The Youth Choir sings regularly alongside the Praise Choir for the 9:30 am contemporary worship service, in addition to participating in special seasonal opportunities. Previous experience and the ability to read music are not required. The Spring Session runs January 7 – May 19.

The FVUMC Youth Handbell Choir, Rebellations, is for current 6th-12th graders and is looking for new youth ringers! We rehearse on Sundays, 7:00 – 7:30 pm. Previous experience and the ability to read music are not required. The Spring Session begins Sunday, January 10 – RSVP your plans to attend as space for participation is limited.

11

FVUMC Music Ministries Needs YOU — Get Involved Today!

As the New Year begins, this is the perfect time to consider how God might be calling you to use the gifts and talents He has blessed you with! Do you have a gift to share? Keep in mind that God can take the SMALLEST offering and turn it into something HUGE! Read on to find out how God

could be planning to use your gifts for HIS GLORY. Interested? Is God speaking to you? Get involved TODAY! Not sure which group might be the best fit for your interests and schedule? Feel free to try any of our music groups as a GUEST before making a decision to commit full-time.

Vocalists• The FVUMC Worship Choir leads music

at our 11:00 traditional service, in addition to special services, and is always seeking new members to join the ministry! Rehearsals are Wednesday evenings, 7:15-8:45 pm, with the Spring Session running January 6 – May 18. Previous experience and the ability to read music are not required. Come be a part of a continuing tradition with us!

• The Praise Choir sings each week during the 9:30 am contemporary worship service, and rehearses on Thursday evenings, 7:00 – 8:00 pm. The Praise Choir sings alongside the Praise Band, and the music each week is contemporary and uplifting. This group is open to ALL youth and adults—no previous experience or audition required! (Only vocalists for the Praise Band are auditioned.) Simply show-up for rehearsal on Thursday night and join the fun! Rehearsals are each Thursday with the Spring Session running January 7 – May 19.

• Vocal ensembles reJoySing and Awake lead worship regularly for our 8:00 am Sunday service. These are auditioned groups that are often seeking new members. There are opportunities for those who can sing regularly, as well as those who can make only an occasional commitment. All rehearsals are on Sunday mornings.

Instrumentalists• The FVUMC Instruments of Praise

lead music at our 11:00 traditional service approximately twice a month, in addition to playing for special seasonal events. All adult and youth instrumentalists with at least 2 years playing experience are welcome!. Rehearsals are Wednesday evenings, 6:30 – 7:30 pm, with the Spring Session running January 6 – May 18.

• The Praise Band provides music each week for the 9:30 am worship service, and rehearses on Thursday evenings, 7:00 – 9:00 pm. This contemporary ensemble includes vocalists, guitarists, keyboardists, drummers and occasionally other instruments (horns, strings, etc.). Although this is an auditioned group, there are often needs for additional instrumentalists and vocalists—anyone interested in the group should contact the Director of Music Ministries.

For additional information on any of these opportunities to serve, contact Jennifer Harrenstein, Director of Music Ministries, at 552-4331, ext. 105 or jharrenstein@fvumc.org or Ashley Kotz, Director of Traditional Music Ministries, at 552 –4331, ext. 115 or akotz@fvumc.org.

♩♪♫♬

Youth Music Opportunities

See Page 11

Children’s Music Opportunities

See Page 512