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0165–2516/11/0208–0119 Int’l. J. Soc. Lang. 208 (2011), pp. 119–137©WalterdeGruyter DOI10.1515/IJSL.2011.015

Language learner-teachers: evolving insights

Theresa ausTin

Abstract

This study reports on the developing emotions and perspectives of 68 in- service teachers regarding their experiences in university-based Spanish classes as part of the ACCELA project (Access to Critical Content and English Language Acquisition) at UMass-Amherst. The program gave teacher-participants the opportunity to experience and reflect on the emotional intensity of their own initial language learning, and to personally connect with the challenges that the second language learners experience in their classes where restrictive lan-guage policies operate. The researcher argues that their display of growing insights about second language acquisition and their emotional development through interactions with community resources in both English and Spanish reveal their ideological positions in regard to L2 and its learning. This study enhances our comprehension of how language learning experiences can en-rich teachers’ appreciation of their students’ challenges and perspectives. This article contributes to understanding the role of emotions in language learning, of ideology in the mutual development of second language teachers and learners, and of the interrelationship of learning in schools and communities.

Keywords: non-native L2 teachers; learner-teachers; in-service language teachers; emotion and language learning.

1. Introduction

Alotofthenon-nativespeakerslikedthegesturesandbodylanguagethattheprofes-sorsdidduringthelesson...Isawthattheyenjoyedthehands-onpartofthelesson,thosethatwereapartofithadgottenusedtotheirplanet’snameandaremorecomfort-ablesayingit,butagaintheywouldliketohaveseenorevenhavethechancetowritewhattheyhadtosayinSpanish.(Ana’snotesduringasciencelessoninSpanish)

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Whenhighlyliterateadultsstarttolearnanotherlanguage,feelingsofdiscom-fortoftenariseastheyexperiencealackoforalcomprehension,particularlyiftheconsequencesmatter.TheobservationsaboveweremadebyAna,abilin-gualteacher,asshedocumentedherfellowteachers’participationinascienceimmersionlessononplanetsinSpanish.Foroverayear,eachoffourcohortsofurbanelementaryandmiddle school teachersenrolled ina seriesof6 –9creditSpanishcourses.Theyweresatisfyingonerequirementintheir33-creditprofessionaldevelopmentgraduateprogramforEnglishasasecondlanguagelicensure.Theprogramincludedcoursesonteacherinquiry,secondlanguagetheories,multimodalliteracies,andcriticalmulticulturalchildren’sliterature,amongothers(Willettetal.2007).ItisinthiscontextthatIreportondataana-lyzedfromalargerfive-yearethnographicstudythatbeganin2002todocu-mentmyexperiencesworkingwith in-service teachers.Allparticipantsalsoactedasresearchersintheprogram.Iwasteacher-researcherandco-instructorwithagraduateteachingassociate,

YvonneFariño,whojoinedintheresearch.Myinitialguidingquestionswere:Howdoteachersdrawonexperientialknowledgeforinsightsintopracticesfortheirownclassrooms?HowwelldotheytapintothesocialnetworksintheirschoolcommunitiestobecomeusersofSpanish?Asthecoursesprogressed,wecollecteddataacrossfourcohorts.Emergingpatternsofemotionsandide-ologiesaboutsecondlanguageandlanguagelearningshiftedmyinitialfocus.Forthisreport,Ianalyzetheteacherparticipants’changingemotionalorienta-tionsto their learningasevidencedintheirentriesandthetypesofprojectstheyusedtolearnSpanishthroughinteractions,tasks,andactivities.IarguethattheirdisplayofgrowinginsightsaboutsecondlanguagedevelopmentandtheiremotionaldevelopmentthroughinteractionswithcommunityresourcesinbothEnglishandSpanishrevealtheirideologicalpositions.Thispapercon-tributestounderstandinghowemotionsinlanguagelearningshapeideology,influencethemutualdevelopmentofsecondlanguageteachersandlearners,andaffecttheinterrelationshipoflearninginschoolsandcommunities.

2. Background

2.1. Emotions shaping teacher knowledge, ideologies, and community relations

Studiesabouttheinfluenceofemotionsonadultsecondlanguage(L2)learninginformalsettingsoftenrelatetotwomajoremotionalcontexts:voluntaryandnon-voluntaryeducationalprograms.IntheUnitedStateswhenlanguagelearn-ingisarequirementforgraduationorprofessionaladvancement,oftentheen-

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rollmentprocessfiltersoutthosewhocannotimaginemeetingtherequirementandretainsthosewhobelieveintheirabilitytosucceed.Thus,self-selectionisitselfanindirectmeasureoflanguagelearners’positiveself-image.Whilealllearnersmaynotachievethesameleveloflanguageuse,theycanbesaidtoviewlanguagelearninggoalsasinitiallyattainable.TheliteratureonemotionsinlanguagelearningreflectsthatdevelopingaL2

is fundamentallysocialandemotionalaswellascognitive (Pavlenko2002;Harrisetal.2006).Tobesuccessful,classroominstructionmustaddressthelearner’sentiredevelopment,includingphysical,socio-emotional,cognitive,and ethical aspects. Language study that divorces language from learners’emotionaldevelopmentmayleavethelearnerunabletoexpresseventhesim-plestemotionsinanL2,whilefailingtodeveloptheL1.Thislossmayisolatelearnersfromfamilyandcommunitymemberswhocouldotherwisebehelpfultothem(WongFillmore1991).ForclassroomeducatorsofL2learners,lan-guageinstruction—devoidofemotion—couldshapehowlearnersenvisionpossibilitiesofsuccessorfailureinschool(Manningetal.1995).However,manyteacherswhohaven’tlearnedanotherlanguagecannoteas-

ilybuildfirst-handknowledgeofdevelopinglessonsforinstructingbothlan-guageandcontent.EventhosewhoarebilingualmayfeelchallengedtouseinsightsfromtheirownL2learningexperiences,astheirlearningcontextmayhavebeenmoresupportiveofbilingualdevelopment.Thefactthatlanguagedevelopmentinevitablyoccursinaparticularpoliticalandhistoricalcontextalsoaffectsthelearners’emotions.InMassachusettsasaresultofastateballot,Question21,teacherswererestrictedtousinganon-Englishlanguage“solelyforclarificationpurposes”.Asaresult,manyteacherswhowerebilingualfeltinhibitedinusingtheirandtheirstudents’linguisticresources.OtherEnglishteacherswhoweremonolingualwerealsofrustratedatnotbeingpreparedtoteach their subject matter to emergent bilingual learners in English. Con-sequently,teachersandlearnersfeltvulnerableastheywereheldaccountableforacademicgoalssetprimarilybyhigh-stakestesting.However,recognizingtheemotionalstatesoftheparticipantsisonlyafirststep.Justhowtosuccess-fullydeveloplearners’languagewhileencouragingemotionaldevelopmenttobecomebilingualusersremainslargelyunexplored.Thefewstudiesthatexistaddresstheseissuesthroughnarrativeresearchon

L2learners,includingtheirreflectionontheprocessandfocusingontheirL2identityconstruction(Oxford1995).Thecurrentstudycontributestothislit-eraturebydescribingtheemotionsthatadultlearnersexperienceastheyde-velopinsightsintoL2processesandbydocumentingtowhatextenttheybe-comeusersofSpanish.Inthisway,evidenceoftheirlanguageperformanceaswellastheirreportedexperiencesisanalyzed.Alsoincludedaretheirreportson the interconnectionof thisexperienceand the livesof theirstudentsandstudents’families.

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2.2. Teachers’ professional development, emotions, and language learning competence

Well-informed teachers canorganize their instructional resources, time, andmaterials, as well as student peer groups, to provide more support for L2learners’ social, academiccontent, and languagedevelopment (Willett et al.2007;Gillanders2007).Thosepoorlypreparedtotakeonthistaskexperiencelesssuccessformanyreasons.Recently,Gándaraetal.reported“...thatpro-fessionaldevelopmentmakesadifferenceinhowconfidentteachersfeelmeet-ingthechallengeofteachingEnglishlearners”(2005:11).Basedonteacherself-reports, these researchers also found that teachers felt that acquiringknowledgethroughin-serviceandpre-serviceprofessionaldevelopment, thelengthoftimeteachingL2learners,andthenumberofL2learnersintheclass-roomcorrelatedhighlywith their competence to teach these students in allareasexcepttheprimarylanguage.Psychologicalresearchalsoprovidesclearevidenceofteachers’emotionsplayinganimportantroleinteacher-childrela-tionships(GarnerandWaajid2008).Similarly,teachersunpreparedtorespondto the cultural diversity of learners from racial backgrounds different fromtheirownoftenfailtoinstructchildreninculturallyresponsiveways(Florio-Ruane2001;Manningetal.1995).Therehasalsobeenmuchresearchincrit-icalmulticulturaleducationdemonstratingthat,overtime,alackofconnectiontolearningengendersconditionsforlearnerstodevelopoppositionalidentitiestoschooling(SmithandWilhelm2002;Valdés2001).Thus, itbecomesim-perativetofocusonteachereducationinordertoattendtoL2learners’emo-tionalaswellassocialandacademicdevelopment.PreparingteacherstounderstandtheimplicationsofL2learners’emotions

inlearningiscomplex.Emotionsareshapedbyinteractions;thatis,teachers’andstudents’emotionsmutuallyaffecteachother.InaVygotskianmodeloflearning,expertsscaffold interactionswithchildren tobring learningwithinreachofthelearners.Calledthezoneofproximaldevelopment(Vygotsky1978),learnersareguidedthroughactivitiesandgraduallyshifttoself-regulationandcreative production.But this process assumes that amutual relationship oftrust,care,andattentionexists.Unwittingly, teachers unfamiliar with L2 learners’ oral development fre-

quentlylabeltheirstudentsas“shy”,perceivingareticencetospeakratherthanemergentlevelsoforalproficienciesandacculturation.Otherlabels,including“easilydistracted”,aregiventostudentswhoseattentionwandersfromlessonstaughtexclusivelyinEnglish,alanguagetheyarestrugglingtounderstandforat least6hoursaday.Amore serious label is “troublemaker” for studentswhosebehaviorgetsothersinvolvedinactivitiesnotsanctionedbytheteacher.Yettheseissuesofbehaviormanagementfrequentlyarisewhenthemediumandcontentofinstructionfailtoengagenon-nativestudentsascapablelearners.

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Whilebehavioralissueshavemultiplecauses,somemightbedirectlyrelatedtothelackofmeaning-makingpossibilitiesfornewL2learners.Inturn,theselabeled learnersmay thenbecomemoredisaffected,marginalized,andevenless inclined toparticipate in a schoolwhere they experience little success.Psychologicalliteraturereferstothisphenomenonasavoidance(GarrettandYoung2009).Butdefiningbehavioralproblemsascenteredinlearners’emo-tions,withoutfocusingonthecontextoftheirsocialinteractions,takesatten-tionawayfromthetruecausesandplacestheprobleminthelearner.Indeed,teachershavebeenfoundtoreferbilingualandAfricanAmericanchildrentospecialeducationprogramsmoreoftenthanmonolingualchildrenonthebasisoftheirorallanguage(Brown2004;LimbosandGeva2001).Theacceptance,trust,andconfidencebetweenteachersandL2learnersshapetheirinteractionsandaffecteffortstobuildmutualunderstanding.Thecomplexinteractivenatureofemotionsaffectsstudents’languagelearn-

inganddevelopmentaswell as their teachers’ emotions, instructionaldeci-sions,andprofessionaldevelopment.Acriticalexaminationofteachers’reflec-tionsontheirlanguagelearningprocesshasthepotentialtoshedlightonthissubject.Deepemotionalattachmentstoone’sfirstlanguageareformedthroughsocialization.Understandingthisprocess,teachersmaybetterunderstandtheirstudents’emotionalresponsestolearninganL2.AsteachersbecomereflectiveL2learnersthemselves,experiencingtheemotionsandattachmenttotheirownfirstlanguageandtheexhilarationfromlearninganewone,theymaydevelopevengreaterinsightintothewayemotionsaffectlanguagelearning.

3. Participants

Weinitiallymetwithteacherparticipantsastheywerecompletingapreviouscourse.We observed, as classroom visitors, their final presentations. In thenext course,my graduate assistant and I shared responsibilities for instruc-tion.Wealternatedinstructingtwogroupsofteacherparticipants:novicesandintermediate/advancedlearnersofSpanish.Datafromfourcohortsofteacherparticipantswereselectedforourinitial

analysis; roughlyonecohortparticipatedperyear.Therewereother teacherparticipantswhooptedoutoftheSpanishlanguagecourses,eitherbecausetheyhadalreadymetthelanguagerequirementsorbecausetheyfelttheirteachingscheduleswouldnotgivethemenoughtimeforthecourse.Intotal,682teachersparticipatedinourIntensiveSpanishforTeacherscoursesbetween2003and2007.Thefirstcohorthad3males(agedlate20stoearly40s)andtheremain-ingthreecohortswereallwomen(64total,agedlate20stolate50s).The teacher participants represent heterogeneous levels of Spanish profi-

ciency, fromnovice to advanced, includingnativeSpanish speakers ( NSS),

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muchliketheheterogeneityoftheirownstudents,whorangedfrombilingualEnglishLanguageLearners(ELLs)tonativeEnglishspeakers.SincetherewasonlyoneSpanishcourseoffered,wewereresponsiblefordifferentiatingandcoordinatinglanguagelearningactivitiesforourrangeofproficiencylevels.Wedesignedactivitiesthatofferedgrouplearningwithinandacrossproficiencylevels.Givenourdesiretocreateaspaceforadultself-guidedlearninginourclass-

room,theteacherparticipantswereaskedtoidentifytheirSpanishlanguageproficiencybyselecting texts that theysawasuseful resources.Therewerethreepossibletexts,reflectingthethreelevels.Thus,participantsdeterminedtheirownplacements.ThenovicegroupsacrossallcohortsconsistedofprimarilyEnglishmono-

lingualteachers.Ofthese,manyhadpreviouslanguagelearningexperiencesinhighschoolorcollegebutclaimedlittletonofunctionaluseofthoselanguages,includingSpanish.For themostpart, the intermediateandadvancedgroupsconsisted of teachers who were functional Spanish language learners andSpanishheritagelanguagelearners.Thesegroupsrangedinoralandliteracyabilities.All coulduseSpanish fordaily conversations.Themost advancedbilingualteacherparticipantswerealsorequiredtosupportanddocumenttheirmonolingualpeers’ learningastheylearnedmoreaboutSpanishvarietiesinthecommunity.Inleavingtheplacementdecisiontotheteacherparticipants,wereasoned

that theywouldbemorelikelytochoosetheresourcestobestsupport theirlearning.Itwasnotsurprisingthattwothirdsoftheteachersclaimedtobeatthebeginning level.Many indicateda fearofhaving toperform inSpanishwiththeteacherswhotheybelievedtobebilingual.

4. TheSpanishlanguageprogram

TheintensiveSpanishcoursesweredesignedtoprepareteacherstoexperien-tiallyunderstandtheprocessesoflanguagelearninginthreedifferentprogrammodels— immersion, sheltered immersion, and dual immersion. Class in-structionlastedthreeandahalfhoursonceaweekfor26weeks.Teacherpar-

Table1. Self identified level of proficiency across cohorts

2003–04 2004 –05 2005–06 2006 Total

Beginners 10 5 15 8 38Intermediates 5 4 3 0 12Advanced 8 2 6 3 18Total 23 11 24 11 68

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ticipantscompletedasurveytoidentifytheirdesires,aspirations,andexpecta-tionsforlearningSpanish.Thesurveyresultsguidedourselectionoftopics,includinglinguisticallyandethnicallydiversestudents;languagearts,scienceandmathcontentareas;andavailablecommunityresources.Typically,eachmodelbeganwithteacherparticipantsreadingaboutthemodelinEnglishandthenexperiencingitforabout6weeks.TheimmersionmodelbeganentirelyinSpanishwithareadingoftheagenda.

Severalactivitiesfollowedtotakestepstowardcompletingprojectstheteacherparticipantsidentifiedastheirdesiredoutcomes.Theseincludedteacherintro-ductions,writinglettersforparents,creatinginformationalhandoutsforparent/teacherconferences,andsoon.Spanishspeakingpresenterswereselectedandinvitedbytheclassasguestsandincludedteacherparticipantsfrompreviouscohorts,otherbilingualteachers,andparaprofessionals.Allwereinterviewedbytheclassandthensharedtheiroralpresentations.Adebriefingtypicallyal-lowedteacherparticipantstocommentabouttheclasssession,theirfeelings,suggestions,andobservations.Asourclassroutineforeachmodelwasmain-tained,theamountofEnglishforinstructiongraduallyreachedabalanceinthedualimmersionsessions.Follow-up assignments were given to read in the language, practice the

pointsoftheclass,andfocusonissuesimportanttotheirfinalprojectchoices.Teacherparticipantscompiledaportfoliothatprovidedevidenceoftheirlearn-ing.Theirportfoliosweresubmittedatthemidpointforfeedbackandatcoursecompletion.Attheendofthecourse,acelebrationoflearningwasheldtosharepresentationswithinvitedguests,includingparticipantsfrompreviouscoursesandotherACCELAinstructorsofsubsequentclasses.ThepresentationswererecordedandusedasevidenceofSpanishoralperformance.

5. Datacollectionandanalysis

Sinceeachclasslastedthreeandahalfhours,co-instructorsmetonceweeklytoreflectonteacherparticipants’progressandtodiscussplanningfutureses-sions.Wecollaboratedonbothinstructionandresearch,anddocumentedtheteacherparticipants’insightsfromtheirexperiencesinL2learninginacademiccontexts.Overfouryears,wecollectedethnographicdatabytakingfieldnotesandconductingsemi-structuredinterviews.Wealsovideo-recordedclassroominteractionsandreadartifactsfromteacherparticipantssuchasassignments,projectproposals,andfinalreports.Teacherparticipantswillbereferredtobytheirinitialsfordatadiscussionandanalysis.Afterconductingacontentanalysisoffieldnotesfromobservationsofour

classinteractionsandtheninterviewingteachersineachcohort tocheckin-sights,portfoliosandessayswereexaminedfirsttocodeforthemesandthen

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tobuildamodelofinterrelationshipsamongthemes.Becausewenoticedthatemotionaldisplayswereprominentininteractions—oralandwritten—wefocusedonemotions.Groundedcodesweredeveloped for emotional responses to the learning,

insights,andideologicalstatements(StraussandCorbin1998:12).Emotionalresponseswerebroadlyidentifiedbydirectstatementswithtypicalbeginningssuchas“Ifelt...”,“Iwishedthat...”,orbyexpressionssuchas“Iwasex-citedthat...”.Thecategoryalsoincludedindirectstatementsexemplifiedbyconstructionssuchas“...mademesympathize”.Similarly, learner insightswerecodedforstatementssuchas“Ilearned...”,“Irealized...”or“Ihadn’tthought...”.Finally,ideologicalstatementswerecodedwherestatementsin-cludednormativejudgments,suchas“should”,“must”and“hasto/haveto”.In addition, statements were codedwhere evaluative language and opposi-tionalframingwereseenthroughtheuseofthe“we/they”code.

6. Results

6.1. Novice teacher participants

6.1.1. Empathy through experiencing stress, frustration, joy, and humor. Amajorityofthenoviceteacherparticipantsineachcohortreportedtheirfirstemotionsasexcitement,anticipation,andstressaboutbeinginanenvironmentwhereSpanishwasthedominantlanguageforthedurationoftheimmersionprogramexperience.Onenovicewrote inEnglish, and then translatedwithhelpfromherpeers,“También me estoy sintiendo más cómodo (sic) en la clase pero nervioso (sic) sobre la presentación”‘Iamfeelingmorecomfortableinclassbutnervousaboutthepresentation’(LP2003).Thisthemeechoedrepeat-edlyacrosscohortsasthesenoviceteacherparticipantsrecognizedtheirownhighlychargedemotionsduringthefirstmodelofL2instruction,immersion.Anothertypicallyreportedinitialsentimentwaspanic.Thenoviceteacher

participantswereconcernedthattheirabilitytounderstandoralconversationswouldbe too limitedandmake them“seemdumb”because theycouldnotmakeout the details needed to carry out the activities or assignments.Fre-quentlythenoviceteacherswhoreportedthisalsocommentedonsuspicionsthattheywerebeingtalkedabout,whichinturngeneratedfeelingsofresent-mentbecause“itwasjustrudetospeakanotherlanguagewheneveryonedoesnotunderstandit”.Thelanguageideology3wasclearinthisinterpretationofnormativeinterpersonalrelationships.Thisepisodemadeforateachablemo-mentthatreappearedacrosscohorts.Itsappearancepromoteddialogueinthecourses.Oneof theadvancedteacherparticipantsremarked,“HowmustL2studentsfeelwhentheyareinsimilarsituationsforsixhoursdaily,fivedaysa

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weekandthestakesarehigherfortheiracademicsuccess?”Sympatheticre-sponsesandrecognitionoftheaffectiveclassroomenvironmentwerefoundinmanyjournalsbybothgroupsofteachersinthecourse.Intheteachers’pro-gramofstudyafterthiscourse,echoesofthiscommentresurfacedasnoviceteachersreflectedontheirlearningintheSpanishcourses:

Welearnedmuchmorethanweinitiallythoughtwedidinthatcourse.(DB)

InthebeginningIwasnervoustoattempttoevenjointheconversationwithM’smomortrytospeakatalltoherinSpanish.HoweverIfoundmyselfconcentratingandreallyfocusinginonwhatwashappeningintheconversation.IdecidedtogiveitatrywiththeSpanish Iknewalongwithbody languageand join theconversation....At thispoint,Icouldfeeltheuncertainty,nervesandshynessthatmyL2studentsmustfeel....Veryscary.IwasfortunatethatIwaswithindividualsthatallowedmetofeelsafeandconfidenttoattempttoutilizemySpanish.IhavemademanymoreattemptswithM’smomnowandshefeelsverycomfortablewithme....IhopethatItoocanbeassup-portiveandwillingtohelp.(CC2006)

6.1.2. Beliefs about subtractive bilingualism. Atthebeginningoftheim-mersionexperience, therealsoweresignsofanti-immigrantfeelingsamongsometeacherparticipantswhoadamantlyinsistedthatwhenonemovestoan-othercountry“onecannotexpectforthecountrytochangetouseone’slan-guagebutrathertheexpectationsarethatyoumustgiveupyourlanguageandbecomeAmerican”.Thisisacommonlyheldvaluereportedintheliteratureofopposition tobilingualeducation,and indeedseveralnovice teacherpartici-pants(PA,ML,NL)expressedthisopenly.Theseanti-immigrantfeelingswerealsoexhibitedbyseveralheritagespeakers(AM,IL,AS).Buttheseparticipants’feelingsaboutacculturationwerefarlessstrongcomparedwiththelargerac-ceptanceoftheimportantroleofthenativelanguageinthedevelopmentofL2literacy.Anti-immigrantfeelingsalsoemergedastheteacherparticipantsdesigned

projects theywould carryout inSpanish.Eight teacherparticipants—fiveintermediate/advancedandthreenovice—constructedLatinoparentsindefi-cittermsintheirjournals.Whilethecommentsweremadeinreferencetotheirparticularsituations,therewereclaimssuchas,“theyhavenoparentingskills”,“theydon’tunderstandtheimportanceoftheirchildrennotbeingabsentfromschool”, and that theywereeasilyenticed tovisit the school“if thereweremealsoffered”.Theprojectsplannedby these teacherparticipantsgenerallyoffered feweropportunities to use the community as a resource and extendtheirownSpanishlearning,whichhasconsequencesinrestrictedSpanishuseinthestudent’shome.DespitemuchresearchinL2developmenttothecon-trary(Krashen1998),anddespiteprofessionalteachingorganizations’strongsupportofnativelanguageuseinliteracydevelopmentforbilinguallearners

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(Buysseetal.2005;GillandersandCastro2007;Maschinot2008),thefalsechoicebetweenlanguagespersistsaspopularwisdom.Suchmisinformationisdifficulttoaddressevenwithwell-reasonedevidencefromteachers’ownlivedexperiencesbecausethesenotionsresonateaspersistentanddeeply-heldfeel-ings.Thesenotionswerecodedasthe“onenation–onelanguage”ideology.Incontrast, in theUnitedStateselitebilingualism isgenerallyviewedas

highlyvaluedsocialcapital.Elitebilingualismoccurswhendominantgroupmembersaddanotherlanguagetotheirlinguisticrepertoire;thatis,whentheL2 is perceived as an addition rather than a subtraction to one’s languageknowledge.Often this additive bilingualism attributes unusual talent or re-sourcefulnesstothedominantgroupmember.However,L2learnersofEnglishfromnon-dominant groupsmay linguistically achieve farmore, yet receivemuch less social recognition.Opinions about thevalueof subtractivebilin-gualismmaynegatively impacta learner’s languageprogress. In fact, com-paredwithotherstudents, twoof the threenovice teacherparticipants ( NL,PA)whoappeared tohold theseopinionswereable todemonstrateSpanishlistening comprehension skills but were severely limited in their ability tocommunicate spontaneously inSpanish.Their oral presentations inSpanishhadtoberead,andtheywereabletoanswerspontaneousquestionsinSpanishonlywithhelpby the endof the course.The third teacher participant (CF)claimedtobeincapableofpublicspeakingingeneralandwouldwriteallhercommentsinlimitedSpanish.ThefactthatthenoviceteacherssuccessfullycompletedtheSpanishseries

wasdueinnosmallwaytotheirconfidenceintheiracademicliteracyinEng-lish,whichsupportedtheirprojectcompletioninSpanish.Forexample,search-ing for Internet resources about their topicswas done in both English andSpanish.ManyannouncedconfidenceinbeingabletoreadanduseSpanishwrittentexts.AnimportantinsighttheynotedfromtheseexperienceswasthegrowingabilitytounderstandhowaspectsofL1literacycantransfertotheL2.Whilenotrequiredto,severalevenwantedtowritereflectionsinSpanish.Onefinalreflectionspeakstotheteacherparticipant’sgrowingabilitytodecipherconversationssheoverhears:

Esto es duro porque no hay españoles permitidos en nustra (sic) salon de clase. No puedo aydarmae (sic) a veces y digo algo en español y pregunto uno a adultos si estoy correcto. Mis estudiantes se rien de mis tentativas en el español de discurso. Sin em-bargo, me sorprendo con cuántas conversaciones estoy comenzando a entender en el salon de maestros. Lo encuentro divertido porque soy la persona en escuela que algu-nos de nuestros adultos no esperaban entender lo que están diciendo. Apenas sonrío y guardo mi secreto.

‘This is hard because Spanish is not permitted in our classroom. I cannot get help.SometimesIsaysomethinginSpanishandIaskoneoftheadultsifIamcorrect.My

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studentslaughatmyattemptsatspeechinSpanish.HoweverIamsurprisedbyhowmanyconversationsIambeginningtounderstandintheteachers’room.IfinditfunnybecauseIamtheonethatsomeadultsdon’texpecttounderstandwhattheyaresaying.Ijustsmileandkeepmysecret.’

6.2. Intermediate and advanced participants

6.2.1. Feelings toward peers and development of understanding. Whenweturntoboththeintermediateandadvancedteacherparticipants,theytoobeganwithfeelingsofexcitementandofbeingat“home”.Somementionedasenseofamusementastheyrealizedhowtheirnovicepeers’learningpresentedan-othersideoftheirengagementwiththeirstudentslearningEnglish.Withoutexception,everyoneinthesegroupswasinitiallywillingtosupporttheircol-leagues’ learning.Over time,however, their feelings toward theirpeers, thedemandsoflanguagelearning,andtheirownneedsaslearnersfluctuatedbe-tweenempathy,pride,frustration,doubtingtheneedforliteracyinalanguageotherthanEnglish,andrenewedcommitmenttobilingualismandsupportforbilingual learners.At theendof thefirstcourse, intermediateandadvancedteacher participants in thefirst cohortwere proud that novices hadwithoutexceptiondevelopedaleveloforalSpanishintheirpresentations,supportedby their ability to readnote cards inSpanish, thatwas surprisinggiven theshortlengthofstudy.Thesecondandthirdcohortsworkedparticularlywellwiththeirnovicecolleagues.Oneexceptionallyastutereflectioncapturedthegeneralsentimentexpressedinmanyoftheintermediateandadvancedteacherparticipants’portfolios:

Ustedes han demostrado lo dificil y frustrante que es aprender un segundo idioma en un medio monolingüe donde el medio de enseñanza no concuerda con el idioma princi-pal de los estudiantes. Por esto es que soy una proponente de la educación bilingüe y multilingüe. Esta experiencia a lo mejor hubiese sido menos dolorosa para mis compa-ñeras monolingës si las clases se hubiesen conducido en español e ingles. Se que esta experiencia le servirá de ejemplo cuando tengan que apoyar a estudiantes que estén aprendiendo ingles como un segundo idioma ya que pasan por situaciones similares a las que ustedes estuvieron expuestas. Yo confío que compartirán sus experiencias con sus estudiantes y les enseñarán muchas de las estrategias que utilizaron en esta clase para salir adelante. Ahorra están en una mejor disposición de enseñarles diferentes estrategias para que ellos puedan aprender un segundo idioma y tener éxito en el en-torno académico. Indirectamente aprendieron mucho más que el español. Ahorra es-pero que tengan la oportunidad de poner estas enseñazas en practica.(LP)4

‘Youhavedemonstratedthedifficultyandfrustratingitistolearnasecondlanguageina monolingual environment where the medium of instruction does not match withlearners’mainlanguage.ForthisreasonIamaproponentofbilingualandmultilingual

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education.ThisexperienceperhapscouldhavebeenlesspainfulformymonolingualpeersiftheclasseshadbeenconductedinSpanishandEnglish.Iknowthatthisexperi-encewillservethemasanexamplewhentheyhavetosupportstudentwhoarelearningEnglishasasecondlanguagegiventhattheygothroughsimilarexperiencestothosethatyouwereexposedto[inthisclass].Iamconfidentthattheywillsharetheirexperi-enceswiththeirstudentsandtheywillteachmanyofthestrategiesthattheyusedinthisclasstomakeprogress.Nowtheyareinabetterdispositiontoteachdifferentskillsandstrategiessothatthey[thestudents]canlearnasecondlanguageandbesuccessfulintheacademiccontext. Indirectly they learnedmuchmore thanSpanish.NowIhopetheyhavetheopportunitytoputtheselessonsintopractice.’(Author’stranslation)

Therecognitionofthesimilarityoflearningsituationsandtheimplicationsofthe experience forL2 learnerswas repeatedlynoted in theportfolios.Evenmoreencouragingwaswhenthefourthcohort’sintermediate/advancedteacherparticipants expresseddesires tobecomeSpanish teachers at the endof thecourse.

6.3. Trends across cohorts

6.3.1. A multitude of feelings. Thewavesofemotionsthatwereincludedintheserepresentativeexcerptsillustratethatthelearningexperiencewasinflu-encedbyamultitudeoffeelingstowardtheSpanishlanguage,aswellasper-ceptionsofthelearningenvironmentthatmadethispossible.Intheimmersionmodelthereseemstobeatendencyfornoviceteacherparticipants,asagroup,to experience higher amounts of aggressive discomfort, even anger, towardbecoming a Spanish user. This is frequently reported in moments of self-reflectioninjournals.Suchinsightswereexpressedasfeelingstowardspeers,theirstudents,andusasinstructors.Intermediate teacherparticipantsexpressedasimilar rangeof sentiments,

butdifferedbyexpressingfrustrationwiththeirslowpace.Nonetheless,theywereabletoexpandtheirSpanishthroughinitiativesalignedwiththeirinter-ests,aswellasthroughworkingwithpeers,students,andotherteachers.OnesuchteachersoughtfundingtodoashortsummerstudyprograminMexico(MC1)duringthebreakbetweenourSpanishcourses.Anotherbegananafter-school program to teach Spanish (MC2).Yet another organized students toexplore the community library’sholdings inSpanish and request to expandtheirselectionofSpanishlanguagebooks.Severaladvancedteacherparticipantsexpressedinitialfrustrationatreading

academictexts inSpanish,whichpromptedthemtoquestiontheirabilitytocommunicateeffectivelyinformalregisters.Theyinitiallyheldstrongnega-tiveopinionsaboutlocalvarietiesofSpanishthatincorporateEnglishborrow-ings.Yetastheseadvancedlearnerslearnedmoreaboutsociolinguisticvaria-

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tions as natural social phenomena andbecamemore at easewith academictextsinSpanish,allfeltastrongerdesiretostartprojectsthatwouldhelpotherteacherswithstudentswhoseparentswereSpanishspeakers.

6.3.2. Influence of language ideologies. The novice teacher participants’degreeofprogresswasalsodistinguishablebytheirlanguageideologies.Asnotedabove,thosewhoheldstrongEnglish-onlyuseviewsintheclassroommadeonlyslightprogressinimprovingtheirunderstandingofSpanish;atmosttheywereabletobuildlisteningcomprehensionforclassroomsettings.Evi-dence from theirfinalprojectpresentations indicated that theywereable tounderstandandrespondtoquestionsfromtheirpeersinSpanish.Additionally,asagrouptheywereabletoarticulatestrategiesforteachingandlearninganL2andtodocumenttheirlearningthroughworksheetsintheirportfolios.Incontrast,noviceswhobuiltconnectionsandrelationshipswithSpanish-

speaking parents and students made enough progress in two semesters, orroughly78instructionalhours,tobeabletocarryoutinteractivepresentationsinSpanish.Thesenovicelearnerscouldnotonlyarticulatestrategies,butalsousethem.Therewas scant evidence of strong ideological views about L2 learning

amongtheintermediateandadvancedlearners.Wemayinferthat,atleastintermsofwhatwasindicatedintheirreportsandjournals,theirprogresswasfarlessinfluencedbyideologicalstancesonlanguagelearningthanthenovices.

6.3.3. Using Spanish in social relationships promotes learning. Anothersignificantpreliminaryinsightemergedfrompatternsinthedatawecollected.Repeatedly,teacherparticipantswhoseprojectsreachedintoSpanish-speakingcommunitiestoprovideaservicefortheirstudentsorfamiliesorexploredre-sourcesinmoredenselypopulatedLatinoneighborhoodsbecamemoreawareoftheirownideologiesaboutlanguageandlanguageuse.Whiletruefornov-ices,thiswasparticularlythecasefortheadvancedteacherparticipants.Theseteachershadarangeofbilingualskills(somehadbeeneducatedintheUSandothersinPuertoRico),butthosewhoseformaleducationhadbeenmorelim-itedinSpanishhadconflictingfeelingstowardusingSpanish.Forexample,LAandALconsideredthemselvesstrongbilingualsinEnglish

andSpanish.Whilethetwoweresisters,ALexpressedastrongerpreferenceforusingEnglishwiththestudentsshetaughtbecause“Spanishdidnotmatterintheschools...anywaythestudentsspeakstreetSpanishanditisbad”.HerbeliefthatEnglishwastheonlylanguagethatmatteredbegantochangeasshesawher peers gaining insights intowhySpanishwas important in learninganotherlanguageandcontentmatteraswell.Shelatersaidthatshewassorryherownchildrenhadnot learnedSpanishathomeorat school.Apparently

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whenshereturnedfromavisittoherparents’homeinPuertoRicoherchildrencouldnotcommunicatewiththeirrelativesandwereso“miserabletheydidnotwanttoremaininPuertoRico”.Incomparison,LAwasuncertainaboutthevalueofSpanishbutmorecau-

tiousindiscouragingherstudents’useofSpanish.Shesawtranslationasim-portantforlearningandwasquicktohelpherpeerstotranslateintoEnglish.Forher, translationwasanessential skill.LisaAna/LAwas successful asateacher’s aide, and was then invited to submit an application to become ateacher.Eagertoshareherexpertiseintranslating,shesupportedherpeersdur-ingthecourse.InhelpinghermonolingualcolleaguesdesignprojectstolearnSpanish, LisaAna/LA expressed pride in having learned Spanish as a firstlanguageand laternotedhowmanyof thecohorts’projectswerepresentedsuccessfully in Spanish. The conflicting feelings of these two sisters wereexpressedintheirjournals,intheirreportsoffirsttryingtobanishtheuseofSpanishandlatertakingprideinbeingteacherswithbilingualabilities.

6.3.4. Conflicting feelings about how to learn language and the new state laws. Fornoviceteachers,learningSpanishwasnotonlyastrugglelinguisti-callybutalsoachallengetotheirinterpretationsofthenewlaws.Initialfeel-ingsaboutstartinginaconstructivistmannerwiththeculturalandsocialback-groundknowledgeofeachstudentoftenconflictedwiththeirunderstandingofsupportingacademiccultureintheclassroom.ThisconflictmanifesteditselfintheirinitialresistancetospontaneouslyuseSpanishinside,andmoreimpor-tantly,outsideofthelanguagecoursewithotherusers.Becausethecourseof-feredteacherparticipantssignificantopportunitiestomakechoicesabouthowtodirecttheirownlearning,asubgroupwithinthenovicesemergedwhopre-ferredtoengageinmechanicalcomputerdrills,worksheets,memorizeddia-logues,andverycontrolledgrammarandvocabularystudyremovedfromanysocialcontact.TheyfeltaneedformorecontrolofthebasicsbeforetheyfeltsafeenoughtouseSpanishappropriately.Inthisway,feelingsaboutappropri-ateness and accuracywere conflated. Fearswere not indicated as a generallanguageanxietybutmoreasafearoftheirinaccuracyrevealinginappropriatelanguageuse.Attheend,thegeneralpatternthatemergedacrossallcohortsrevealedthat

thesebasics-firstnoviceteacherparticipantstendedtoseekhelpfromothersprimarilytocorrecttheiruseofgrammaticalstructuresandtoconstructfinalprojectsthatdidnotventureintodiscoveringorusingresourcesinSpanishinlocalcommunities.Asaresult,theircommunicativegrowthinSpanishtendedtobelowerintheirfinalprojectperformanceincomparisonwiththosenoviceswhoputtheiremergingskillstouse.Moreover,thisgroupstressedhowmuchandhowlongtheystudiedthelanguageintheirjournalsratherthanhowmuchitwasbeingusedtoservetheirneedstoimprovecommunicationwithparents

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andstudents.Inthelongrun,relationallanguagelearninggoalsmaybeamoreproductiveagendaforteachers.

7. Discussion:theoryandsignificanceinpraxis

Amongthepreliminarythemesthathaveemergedfromthedataanalysis,sev-eralsignificantissuesaboutresearchingemotionsintheprocessoflearningalanguagemerit furtherdiscussion.Within thedata,wavesofemotionsweredescribedwhentheteacherparticipantsexperiencedchallengestotheirpriorlearningandwhentheyevaluatedtheirownaccomplishments.Overtime,theemotions expressed by the teacher participants were dynamically changingwithintheirlocallearningcontexts,andwerebroadlyimpactedbythelargersociopoliticalcontextaswell.Theteachers’representationsoftheiremotionswerenotsomuchlimitedby

languagechoiceinreportinginSpanishorEnglish,butratherbytheirwilling-nesstosharethesedeeplyheldfeelingsbecauseofpowerrelationswithinourprofessionaldevelopmentproject.Assuch,thesedataaresnapshotsofcom-plexemotionsthatmostlikelycouldhavebeenexpresseddifferentlyinothersites,suchastheteachers’loungewiththeirpeers,orathomewithspouses,orevenamongthemselves.Forthisreason,theself-reportedfluctuationinemo-tionsindicatesthatdocumentingthesechangesdependsontheperspectiveoftheparticipantsatsignificantcriticalmomentsofreflectionandtheirpercep-tionoftheirrelationtothosereceivingtheirreports.Furthermore,asthein-structorsofthecourse,weareimplicatedinshapingthesedatabyactingastheaudienceof thereports.Nonetheless, theteacherparticipants’willingnesstosharearangeofexperiencesmadeitclearthatnosingleemotionshapedtheirorientations to learning.Thevariability across reported emotions confirmedtheinterpersonalnatureoftask-relatedemotionalfluctuationasawhole.The fact that these data reports include a range of frustration, surprise,

humor,andironysuggeststhattheseemotionswereseenbytheparticipantsaslegitimate information to include in their reports. The teacher participants’rangeofproficiencyinlearningSpanish,asevidencedbytheiroralandwrittenproductions,gaveusaglimpseofwhattheycoulddoinalimitedperiodandinaspacewheretheydecidedhowandhowmuchtheywouldtakeon.Byexam-iningthesedatatogetherweconstructedarelationshipbetweenemotionsandlanguagedevelopmenttobeexploredthroughfurtherresearch.Questionsthatareraisedinclude:Underwhatconditionscantheadultprofessional’sstruggleto learnasecond languagebeenhancedorobstructedbybothnegativeandpositive emotional interactions with target language use populations? Howdoes the larger sociopolitical context impact these learners’ emotional en-gagementinlearningasecondlanguageforlocaluse?Howdoesreflectionon

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emotionsaffectbothhowlearnerschooseto learna languageandhowtheyinteractwithculturallydifferentpopulationsusingthatlanguage?Inparticular,as teachers encounter more linguistic diversity in students, how does theiremotional fluctuation affect teaching and learning that takes place in theirclassrooms?

8. Conclusion

While “shock language” experiences have been designed to help teacherswhohaveELLsintheirclassroomsunderstandasmalldegreeoftheirstudents’experiences learningEnglish (Kubotaet al.2000;Suarez2002), thesehavetendedtobeshort termandlimited.Incontrast, theACCELAProject’slan-guage learning experience offered a longer-term perspective. The programprovidedtimeforteacherparticipantstorepeatedlyexperienceandreflectonthe emotional intensityof their own initial language learning shock and, inhindsight,toreliveviscerally,yetanalytically,severalrelatedchallengesthatL2learnerswouldexperiencewhererestrictivelanguagepoliciesoperate.Thisworkwithteachershasbroughtadeeprespectforthosewhosharedtheiremo-tionsandinsightsabouttheirL2learningexperiences,theirstudents,andtheircommunities.Presentedinthisstudyisananalysisofin-serviceteachers’experiencesin

language learning, based on empirical evidence from theirwritten learningreflectionsandwrittenandoralprojects.Thisevidenceshowshowemotionsareinfluencedbylanguagelearningideologies,aswellashowlanguageideol-ogy impacts overall attainment in language learning.While a full range ofemotions are experienced in a language classroom, teacher participants in-creasingly developed acceptance of their initial levels of proficiency andgainedconfidencetouseSpanishintheirownteachingcontextsandwiththeirstudents’parents.Inthesecases,newrelationshipswerebuiltbetweengratefulparentsandstudentswhorealizedtheyweregaininganallyintheschoolset-ting.Althoughnovice teacherparticipantsbeganwith lower languageprofi-ciency levels, they grew in functionality outside the classroom.When theyestablishedatrustingrelationshipwithbilingualparentsandstudents,theyre-ceivedlinguisticandculturalsupport.Ideologyalsoplaysanimportantroleinshapingtheaffectivedimensionof

languagelearning.Whenideologiesaboutsubtractivebilingualismareaban-doned,newandpositiverelationshipswithbilingualfamilieshavethepoten-tialfor teachers’continuedL2development.Otherwise, linguisticgainsthathavebeenmademaybeshort lived,similar toemergentusesofadevaluedforeignlanguage.

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Acrossproficiencylevelsof the teacherparticipants, therewere thoseac-tivelyshapinganextensionofcaringcontextsforfurther languageandaca-demic subject development.More in-depth researchonhow teachers’ emo-tionsdynamicallyaffectstudents,aswellasonhowstudents’emotionsaffectteacher’s judgments, is needed.An analysis of several teacher participants’workisplannedtoexaminetheselinksthatteachershavemadeintheirclass-rooms,attendingtotheirlearners’emotionaldevelopmentaswellaslanguageandliteracydevelopment.Inconclusion,thisdescriptivestudyprovidescorroboratingevidenceofthe

significanceoflearners’mixedemotionsininteractionsthataffectL2learning.Onefacetoftheseemotionsinparticularwarrantsfurtherexploration:accep-tanceofcurrentlevelsofproficiencyasapowerfulforceincreatingpossibili-ties to learnmore and shift ideologies about learning another language. In-creased use of the target language in projects, portfolios, and presentationsformed strong indicators of thosewhowould act on these possibilities andpersistbeyondtheclassroom.Suchpersistenceinfluencesteachers’relation-shipswithlocalfamiliesandlocalcommunities.Atpresent,itisclearthatrecognizingtheseemotionsinlanguagelearning

doesnotalwaysmeanthatnovicelearnersknowexactlywhattodonext,eitherasteachersorlearners.However,theimpactoftheexperienceisbestcapturedbyoneoftheparticipants:“Ididn’trealizehowtotallyoverwhelmingnotknow(sic)alanguagecouldbetoastudent.Ihavemorerespectandadmirationformystudentswhoaretrulybilingual.Ihavealwaysbeenverycompassionatewithmystudents.After this summer Ihope tobemore supportive to thosestudentsthataresecondlanguagelearners....Iknowmyoutlookwillbedif-ferentwhichwillhelpmetochangeasIbegintheyear.”(BB)

University of Massachusetts at Amherst

Correspondenceaddress:[email protected]

Notes

1. Question2wasaballotinitiativeinMassachusettsin2002thatobligatedteacherstorestrictthemediumofinstructiontoEnglisheveniflearnershavelanguagesotherthanEnglishasaprimarylanguage.AlanguageotherthanEnglishcouldbeusedforclarificationpurposesbutnotasthemediumofinstruction.

2. Atotalof68participated.Ofthese,62gavepermissiontousetheirdataforfurtherresearch.Threedeclinedourinvitationtocontinueduetounspecifiedpersonalreasonsandthreedidnotcompletetheprogram(oneinCohort1H,andtwoinCohortS3).

3. Languageideologyhereisdefinedas“dominantorsubaltern‘ideas,discourse,orsignifyingpractices in theserviceof thestruggle toacquireormaintainpower’” (Woolard1998:7).

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Theseareidentifiedinlearnertextsthroughtheirstatementsofsharedbeliefsaboutlanguageformsandpracticesembeddedinsocialinteraction.

4. This reflection is cited as it was written, with the teacher participant’s accentuation andspelling.

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