Leadership& Self Deception
By The Arbinger Institute
WHAT WE WANT IS WHAT WE DON’T GET!
Philosophy
An underlying issue that undercuts both
•Individuals
•Organisations
the problem of not knowing one has a problem
SELF DECEPTIO
N
PARADOX
we often create our own problems
we seem unaware that we create problems
we actively resist solutions
The result of self
Deception is…
PEOPLE PROBLEMS
poor communications
poor relationships
poor teamwork
• Politics / Conflict• Low Morale / Motivation• Silo Thinking / Lack of
Departmental Interaction• Lack of Trust / Lack of
Empowerment• Poor Leadership - Not walking the
talk!• Lack of Ownership, Accountability,
Responsibility• No Initiative• The list goes on and on………..
To solve it, we try different strategies
training
selection of the right people
robust management methods
Key Performance
Indicators (KPIs)
clear milestones
and more!
Performance Management
SystemsIncentives
and Rewards
Shared Vision, Values
BPR
Leadership Dialogue
Improved Communications
With all these strategies in place …
how much time do we still spend on managing people
problems?
at what cost to the team?
at what cost to the organization?
A BOLD CLAIM!
•Poor Communications •Poor Relationships
•Poor Teamwork / Lack of Cohesion•Politics / Conflict
•Low Morale / Motivation•Silo Thinking / Lack of Departmental Interaction
•Lack of Trust / Lack of Empowerment•Poor Leadership
•Lack of Ownership, Accountability, Responsibility•No Initiative
PEOPLE PROBLEMS
SINGLE
DEEPER
PROBLEM
SENSE: Share the information with
Mark to help him with his workCHOICE
Betray the sense
Honour the
sense
Person[Responsive Way]
Object[Resistant Way]
In Self-Betrayal, I feel JUSTIFIED
How I started to see Mark
•Competitor/threat
•Won’t appreciate it
•May not need it •May misconstrue my intentions
•Too dependent •Lazy
How I started to see Myself
•Deserve to be on top
•Hardworking•Busy
-Horribilise-Be defensive-Blame with thoughts & emotions
Why is the BOX a big deal?
L1: CustomerL2: Coworker
L4: BossL3: Team Member
Focused on Myself
Focused on my doings
Seeking Justification
Thei
r im
pact
on
me
Thei
r im
pact
on
me
Their impact on m
e
Their impact on
me
CONSTANTLY MEASURING
OTHERS’ IMPACT ON ME
BOX SYMPTOMS
focusing on… what others need to do
focusing on… other’s mistakes
focusing on… other’s negative qualities
NOT focusing on… being a better team member
and more!
focus on myself
focus on my doings
focus on others
measure my impact on others
SEE OBJECTS!
SEE PEOPLE!
Remember …
When I am in the box …
When I am out of the box …
focus on results
SOLVING THE BETRAYAL PROBLEM
measure others’ impact on me
A WAY OUT OF THE BOX
….EMBED A WAY OF
WORKING
THAT DOESN’T ALLOW US
TO FOCUS ON OURSELVES OR OUR DOINGS
BUT INSTEAD
KEEPS US FOCUSED ON OTHERS AND
RESULTS
L1: CustomerL2: Coworker
L4: BossL3: Team Member
Focus on Others
Focus on Results
My
impa
ct o
n
othe
rs
My
impa
ct o
n
othe
rs
My im
pact on
others
My im
pact on
others
CONSTANTLY MEASURE MY IMPACT ON OTHERS!
