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NoraRobertsHOTICE
SACREDSINSBRAZENVIRTUESWEETREVENGEPUBLICSECRETSGENUINELIES
CARNALINNOCENCEDIVINEEVIL
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HONESTILLUSIONSPRIVATESCANDALSHIDDENRICHESTRUEBETRAYALSMONTANASKYSANCTUARYHOMEPORTTHEREEF
RIVER’SENDCAROLINAMOON
THEVILLAMIDNIGHTBAYOU
THREEFATESBIRTHRIGHT
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NORTHERNLIGHTSBLUESMOKEANGELSFALLHIGHNOONTRIBUTE
BLACKHILLSTHESEARCHCHASINGFIRETHEWITNESS
WHISKEYBEACH
Series
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IrishBornTrilogyBORNINFIREBORNINICE
BORNINSHAME
DreamTrilogyDARINGTODREAM
HOLDINGTHEDREAMFINDINGTHEDREAM
ChesapeakeBaySagaSEASWEPT
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RISINGTIDESINNERHARBOR
CHESAPEAKEBLUE
GallaghersofArdmoreTrilogy
JEWELSOFTHESUNTEARSOFTHEMOONHEARTOFTHESEA
ThreeSistersIslandTrilogy
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DANCEUPONTHEAIRHEAVENANDEARTH
FACETHEFIRE
KeyTrilogyKEYOFLIGHT
KEYOFKNOWLEDGEKEYOFVALOR
IntheGardenTrilogyBLUEDAHLIABLACKROSEREDLILY
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CircleTrilogyMORRIGAN’SCROSSDANCEOFTHEGODSVALLEYOFSILENCE
SignofSevenTrilogyBLOODBROTHERS
THEHOLLOWTHEPAGANSTONE
BrideQuartetVISIONINWHITE
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BEDOFROSESSAVORTHEMOMENTHAPPYEVERAFTER
TheInnBoonsBoroTrilogy
THENEXTALWAYSTHELASTBOYFRIENDTHEPERFECTHOPE
TheCousinsO’DwyerTrilogy
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DARKWITCHSHADOWSPELL
eBooksbyNoraRoberts
Cordina’sRoyalFamilyAFFAIREROYALE
COMMANDPERFORMANCETHEPLAYBOYPRINCE
CORDINA’SCROWNJEWEL
TheDonovanLegacy
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CAPTIVATEDENTRANCEDCHARMEDENCHANTED
TheO’HurleysTHELASTHONESTWOMAN
DANCETOTHEPIPERSKINDEEP
WITHOUTATRACE
NightTalesNIGHTSHIFT
NIGHTSHADOWNIGHTSHADE
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NIGHTSMOKENIGHTSHIELD
TheMacGregorsTHEWINNINGHAND
THEPERFECTNEIGHBORALLTHEPOSSIBILITIES
ONEMAN’SARTTEMPTINGFATE
PLAYINGTHEODDSTHEMACGREGORBRIDESTHEMACGREGORGROOMSREBELLION/INFROMTHE
COLD
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FORNOW,FOREVER
TheCalhounsSUZANNA’SSURRENDER
MEGAN’SMATECOURTINGCATHERINEAMANFORAMANDA
FORTHELOVEOFLILAH
IrishLegacyIRISHROSEIRISHREBEL
IRISHTHOROUGHBRED
BESTLAIDPLANS
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LOVINGJACKLAWLESS
SUMMERLOVEBOUNDARYLINES
DUALIMAGEFIRSTIMPRESSIONSTHELAWISALADY
LOCALHEROTHISMAGICMOMENT
THENAMEOFTHEGAMEPARTNERS
TEMPTATIONTHEWELCOMING
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OPPOSITESATTRACTTIMEWAS
TIMESCHANGEGABRIEL’SANGELHOLIDAYWISHES
THEHEART’SVICTORYTHERIGHTPATH
RULESOFTHEGAMESEARCHFORLOVEBLITHEIMAGESFROMTHISDAY
SONGOFTHEWESTISLANDOFFLOWERS
HERMOTHER’SKEEPER
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UNTAMEDSULLIVAN’SWOMANLESSOFASTRANGER
REFLECTIONSDANCEOFDREAMSSTORMWARNING
ONCEMOREWITHFEELINGENDINGSANDBEGINNINGSTONIGHTANDALWAYSAMATTEROFCHOICE
NoraRoberts&J.D.
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RobbREMEMBERWHEN
J.D.RobbNAKEDINDEATHGLORYINDEATH
IMMORTALINDEATHRAPTUREINDEATHCEREMONYINDEATHVENGEANCEINDEATHHOLIDAYINDEATH
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CONSPIRACYINDEATHLOYALTYINDEATHWITNESSINDEATHJUDGMENTINDEATHBETRAYALINDEATHSEDUCTIONINDEATHREUNIONINDEATHPURITYINDEATH
PORTRAITINDEATHIMITATIONINDEATHDIVIDEDINDEATHVISIONSINDEATH
SURVIVORINDEATHORIGININDEATH
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MEMORYINDEATHBORNINDEATH
INNOCENTINDEATHCREATIONINDEATHSTRANGERSINDEATHSALVATIONINDEATHPROMISESINDEATHKINDREDINDEATHFANTASYINDEATH
INDULGENCEINDEATHTREACHERYINDEATHNEWYORKTODALLASCELEBRITYINDEATHDELUSIONINDEATH
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CALCULATEDINDEATHTHANKLESSINDEATHCONCEALEDINDEATH
AnthologiesFROMTHEHEARTALITTLEMAGICALITTLEFATE
MOONSHADOWS(withJillGregory,RuthRyanLangan,andMarianneWillman)
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TheOnceUponSeries
(withJillGregory,RuthRyanLangan,andMarianneWillman)
ONCEUPONACASTLEONCEUPONASTARONCEUPONADREAMONCEUPONAROSEONCEUPONAKISS
ONCEUPONAMIDNIGHTSILENTNIGHT
(withSusanPlunkett,DeeHolmes,andClaireCross)
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OUTOFTHISWORLD(withLaurellK.Hamilton,SusanKrinard,andMaggieShayne)
BUMPINTHENIGHT(withMaryBlayney,RuthRyanLangan,andMaryKayMcComas)
DEADOFNIGHT(withMaryBlayney,RuthRyanLangan,andMaryKayMcComas)
THREEINDEATH
SUITE606(withMaryBlayney,RuthRyan
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Langan,andMaryKayMcComas)
INDEATH
THELOST(withPatriciaGaffney,Mary
Blayney,andRuthRyanLangan)
THEOTHERSIDE(withMaryBlayney,Patricia
Gaffney,RuthRyanLangan,andMaryKayMcComas)
TIMEOFDEATH
THEUNQUIET
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(withMaryBlayney,PatriciaGaffney,RuthRyanLangan,and
MaryKayMcComas)
MIRROR,MIRROR(withMaryBlayney,ElaineFox,MaryKayMcComas,andR.C.
Ryan)
Alsoavailable...THEOFFICIALNORAROBERTSCOMPANION
(editedbyDeniseLittleandLaura
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Hayden)
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THEBERKLEYPUBLISHINGGROUP
PublishedbythePenguinGroupPenguinGroup(USA)LLC
375HudsonStreet,NewYork,NewYork10014
USA•Canada•UK•Ireland•Australia•NewZealand•India•
SouthAfrica•China
penguin.com
APenguinRandomHouse
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Company
ThisbookisanoriginalpublicationofTheBerkleyPublishingGroup.
Copyright©2014byNoraRoberts.
ExcerptfromTheCollectorcopyright©2014byNoraRoberts.
Penguinsupportscopyright.Copyrightfuelscreativity,encouragesdiversevoices,
promotesfreespeech,andcreatesavibrantculture.Thankyoufor
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buyinganauthorizededitionofthisbookandforcomplyingwith
copyrightlawsbynotreproducing,scanning,ordistributinganypart
ofitinanyformwithoutpermission.YouaresupportingwritersandallowingPenguinto
continuetopublishbooksforeveryreader.
BERKLEY®isaregisteredtrademarkofPenguinGroup
(USA)LLC.The“B”designisatrademarkof
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PenguinGroup(USA)LLC.NR®isaregisteredtrademarkofPenguinGroup(USA)LLC.
eBookISBN:978-0-698-14027-1
LibraryofCongressCataloging-in-PublicationData
Roberts,Nora.Shadowspell/NoraRoberts.—Berkleytradepaperbackedition.pagescm.—(TheCousins
O’Dwyertrilogy;book2)ISBN
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978-0-425-25986-3(pbk.)1.Falconers—Ireland—Fiction.2.Witches—Fiction.3.Magic—
Fiction.4.Ireland—Fiction.5.Domestic
fiction.I.Title.PS3568.O243S532014
813'.54—dc232013039243
PUBLISHINGHISTORYBerkleytradepaperbackedition/
April2014
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CoverdesignbyRitaFrangie.Coverimages:“Forest”©Larsvan
deGroor/TrevillionImages;“Falcon”©
PaulReevesPhotography/Shutterstock;“House”©
Christlofotos/Shutterstock.Interiorcoverimages:“AutumnLeaves”bySubbotinaAnna/
Shutterstock;“PatinaTexture”bySavidMSchrader/Shutterstock;“Hawk”bySmartiniGraphics/
Shutterstock;“Chain”byAlexanderV.Evstafyev/
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Shutterstock;“Vintagemetalpendant”byTaigi/Shutterstock.TextdesignbyKristindelRosario.
Thisisaworkoffiction.Names,characters,places,andincidentseitheraretheproductofthe
author’simaginationorareusedfictitiously,andanyresemblancetoactualpersons,livingordead,
businessestablishments,events,orlocalesisentirelycoincidental.
Version_1
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Contents
TitlesbyNoraRobertsTitlePageCopyright
DedicationEpigraphChapter1
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Chapter2Chapter3Chapter4Chapter5Chapter6Chapter7Chapter8Chapter9Chapter10Chapter11Chapter12
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Chapter13Chapter14Chapter15Chapter16Chapter17Chapter18Chapter19Chapter20
SpecialExcerptfromTHE
COLLECTOR
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Formyowncircle,familyandfriends
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Comingeventscasttheirshadowsbefore.
—THOMASCAMPBELL
Theornamentofahouseis
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thefriendswhofrequentit.
—RALPHWALDO
EMERSON
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1
Autumn 1268
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M ISTSSPIRALEDUPFROMTHEWATERLIKEBREATHAS
Eamonrowedthelittleboat.Thesunshedpale,coollightasitwokefromthenight’srestandsetmorningbirdstotheirchorus.Heheardthecockcrow,soarrogantand
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important,andthebleatingofsheepastheycroppedtheirwayacrossthegreenfields.
Familiarsoundsall,soundsthathadgreetedhimeverymorningforthelastfiveyears.
Butthiswasn’thome.Nomatterhowwelcoming,howfamiliar,
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itwouldneverbehome.Andhomehewished
for.Homebroughthimwishesachingdowntohisboneslikeanoldman’sindampweather,longingsbleedingthroughhisheartlikealoverscorned.
Andunderthewishing,aching,longing,bleeding,livedasimmeringrage
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thatcouldbubbleupandscorchhisthroatlikethirst.
Somenightshedreamedofhome,oftheircabininthegreatwoodswherehekneweverytree,everyturnofthetrack.Andsomenightsthedreamswererealaslife,sohecouldsmellthepeat
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fire,thesweetrushesofhisbedwiththelavenderhismotherwovethroughforgoodrestandgooddreams.
Hecouldhearhervoice,hersingingsoftfrombelowtheloftwhereshemixedherpotionsandbrews.
TheDarkWitch,
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they’dcalledher—withrespect—forshe’dbeenpowerfulandstrong.Andkindandgood.Sosomenightswhenhedreamedofhome,whenheheardhismothersingingfrombelowtheloft,hewokewithtearsonhischeeks.
Hastilybrushedaway.Hewasamannow,fully
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tenyears,headofhisfamilyashisfatherhadbeenbeforehim.
Tearswereforthewomen.
Andhehadhissisterstolookafter,didn’the?heremindedhimselfashesettheoars,lettheboatlightlydriftwhilehedroppedhisline.
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Brannaughmightbetheeldest,buthewasthemanofthefamily.He’dswornanoathtoprotectherandTeagan,andsohewould.Theirgrandfather’sswordhadcometohim.Hewoulduseitwhenthetimecame.
Thattimewouldcome.Fortherewereother
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dreams,dreamsthatbroughtfearratherthangrieving.DreamsofCabhan,theblacksorcerer.Thosedreamsformedicyballsoffearinhisbellythatfrozeeventhesimmeringrage.Afearthatmadetheboyinsidehimwanttocryoutforhismother.
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Buthecouldn’tallowhimselftobeafraid.Hismotherwasgone,sacrificingherselftosavehimandhissistersonlyhoursafterCabhanhadslaughteredtheirfather.
Hecouldbarelyseehisfatherinhismind’seye,toooftenneededthehelpofthefiretofindthat
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image—thetallandproudDaithi,thecennfinewithhisbrighthairandreadylaugh.Buthehadonlytoclosehiseyestoseehismother,paleasthedeathtocome,standinginfrontofthecabininthewoodsonthatmistedmorningwhileherodeawaywithhissisters,griefinhis
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heart,fresh,hotpowerinhisblood.
Hewasaboynolonger,fromthatmorning,butoneofthethree,adarkwitch,boundbybloodandoathtodestroywhatevenhismothercouldnot.
Partofhimwantedonlytobegin,toendthis
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timeinGalwayontheircousin’sfarmwherethecockcrowedofamorning,andthesheepbleatedinthefields.Themanandwitchinsidehimyearnedforthetimetopass,forthestrengthtowieldhisgrandfather’sswordwithouthisarmtremblingfromthe
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weight.Forthetimehecouldfullyembracehispowers,practicethemagicksthatwerehisbybirthandright.ThetimehewouldspillCabhan’sbloodblackandburningontheearth.
Still,inthedreamshewasonlyaboy,untriedandweak,pursuedbythe
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wolfCabhanbecame,thewolfwiththeredstoneofhisblackpowergleamingathisthroat.Anditwashisownblood,andthebloodofhissisters,thatspilledwarmandredontotheground.
Onmorningsaftertheworstdreamshewenttotheriver,rowedoutto
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fish,tobealone,thoughmostdayshecravedthecompanyofthecottage,thevoices,thescentsofcooking.
Butaftertheblooddreamsheneededtobeaway—andnoonescoldedhimfornothelpingwiththemilkingorthemuckingorthe
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feeding,notonthosemornings.
Sohesatintheboat,aslimboyoftenwithamopofbrownhairstilltousledfromsleep,andthewildblueeyesofhisfather,thebrightandstirringpowerofhismother.
Hecouldlistentothe
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daywakearoundhim,waitpatientlyforthefishtotakehisbaitandeattheoatcakehe’dtakenfromhiscousin’skitchen.
Andhecouldfindhimselfagain.
Theriver,thequiet,thegentlerockoftheboatremindedhimofthelasttrulyhappydayhe’dhad
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withhismotherandsisters.
She’dlookedwell,heremembered,afterhowpaleandstrainedshehadlookedoverthelong,icywinter.Theywere,allofthem,countingthedaysuntilBealtaine,andhisfather’sreturn.They’dsitaroundthefirethen,so
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Eamonhadthought,eatingcakesandteasweetenedwithhoneywhiletheylistenedtohisfather’stalesoftheraidsandthehunting.
Theywouldfeast,sohehadthought,andhismotherwouldbewellagain.
Sohe’dbelieved,that
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dayontheriverwhenthey’dfishedandlaughed,andallthoughtofhowsoontheirfatherwouldbehome.
Buthe’dnevercome,forCabhanhadusedhisdarkmagickstoslayDaithithebrave.AndSorcha,theDarkWitch—eventhoughshe’dburned
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himtoash,he’dkilledher.Killedherandsomehowstillexisted.
Eamonknewitfromthedreams,fromtheprickledownhisspine.Sawthetruthofitintheeyesofhissisters.
Buthehadthatday,thatbrightspringdayontherivertoremember.
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Evenasafishtuggedonhisline,hismindtraveledback,andhesawhimselfatfiveyearsbringingashiningfishfromthedarkriver.
Feltthatsamesenseofpridenow.
“Ailishwillbepleased.”
Hismothersmiledat
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himasheslidthefishintothepailofwatertoholditfresh.
Hisgreatneedbroughthertohim,gavehimcomfort.Hebaitedhishookagainasthesunwarmedandbegantothinthefingersofmists.
“We’llneedmorethanone.”
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She’dsaidthat,heremembered,thatlongagoday.
“Thenyou’llcatchmorethanone.”
“I’dsoonercatchmorethanoneinmyownriver.”
“Onedayyouwill.Oneday,mochroi,you’llreturnhome.Oneday
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thosewhocomefromyouwillfishinourriver,walkourwood.Ipromisethistoyou.”
Tearswantedtocome,blurredhisvisionofher,soshewaveredinfrontofhiseyes.Hewilledthemaway,forhewouldseeherclear.Thedarkhairsheletfallfreetoher
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waist,thedarkeyeswherelovelived.Andthepowerthatshonefromher.Evennow,avisiononly,hesensedherpower.
“Whycouldyounotdestroyhim,Ma?Whycouldyounotlive?”
“Itwasnotmeant.Mylove,myboy,myheart,ifIcouldhavesparedyou
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andyoursisters,Iwouldhavegivenmorethanmylife.”
“Youdidgivemore.Yougaveusyourpower,almostallofit.Ifyou’dkeptit—”
“Itwasmytime,andyourbirthright.Iamcontentwiththat,Ipromiseyouaswell.”In
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thosethinningmistssheglowed,silver-edged.“Iameverinyou,EamontheLoyal.Iaminyourblood,yourheart,yourmind.Youarenotalone.”
“Imissyou.”Hefeltherlipsonhis
cheek,thewarmthofher,thescentofherenfoldinghim.Andforthat
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moment,justthatmoment,hecouldbeachildagain.
“Iwanttobebraveandstrong.Iwillbe,Iswearit.IwillprotectBrannaughandTeagan.”
“Youwillprotecteachother.Youarethethree.TogethermorepowerfulthanIeverwas.”
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“WillIkillhim?”Forthatwashisdeepest,darkestwish.“WillIfinishhim?”
“Icannotsay,onlythathecannevertakewhatyouare.Whatyouare,whatyouhold,canonlybegiven,asIgavetoyou.Hecarriesmycurse,andthemarkofit.Allwho
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comefromhimwillbearitasallwhocomefromyouwillcarrythelight.Myblood,Eamon.”Sheturnedherpalmup,showedathinlineofblood.“Andyours.”
Hefeltthequickpain,sawthewoundacrosshispalm.Andjoineditwithhismother’s.
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“Thebloodofthethree,outofSorcha,willlayhimlow,ifittakesathousandyears.Trustwhatyouare.Itisenough.”
Shekissedhimagain,smiledagain.“Youhavemorethanone.”
Thetugonhislinebroughthimoutofthe
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vision.Sohehadmorethan
one.Hewouldbebrave,he
thoughtashepulledthefish,flapping,outoftheriver.Hewouldbestrong.Andoneday,strongenough.
Hestudiedhishand—nomarkonitnow,buthe
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understood.Hecarriedherblood,andhergift.These,oneday,hewouldpasstohissons,hisdaughters.Ifitwasn’tforhimtodestroyCabhan,itwouldbedonebyhisblood.
Buthehoped,byallthegods,itwasforhim.
Fornow,he’dfish.Itwasgoodtobeaman,he
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thought,tohuntandfish,toprovide.Topaybackhiscousinsfortheshelterandthecare.
He’dlearnedpatiencesincebeingaman—andcaughtfourfishbeforeherowedtheboatbacktoshore.Hesecuredtheboat,strungthefishonaline.
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Hestoodamoment,lookingoutatthewater,theshineofitnowunderthefullnessofthesun.Hethoughtofhismother,thesoundofhervoice,thescentofherhair.Herwordswouldstaywithhim.
Hewouldwalkbackthroughthelittlewoods.
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Notgreatlikehome,butafinewoodallthesame,hetoldhimself.
AndhewouldbringAilishthefish,takesometeabythefire.Thenhewouldhelpwiththelastoftheharvest.
Heheardthehigh,sharpcryashestartedbacktothecottageandthe
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littlefarm.Smilingtohimself,hereachedintohissatchel,drewouthisleatherglove.Heonlyhadtopulliton,lifthisarm,andRoibeardswoopedoutoftheclouds,wingsspreadtoland.
“Goodmorningtoyou.”Eamonlookedintothosegoldeneyes,feltthe
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tugofconnectionwithhishawk,hisguide,hisfriend.Hetouchedthecharmedamuletaroundhisneck,onehismotherhadconjuredwithbloodmagicksforprotection.Itcarriedtheimageofthehawk.
“It’safineday,isn’tit?Brightandcool.The
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harvestisnearlydone,andwe’llhaveourcelebrationsoon,”hecontinuedashewalkedwiththehawkonhisarm.“Theequinox,asyouknow,whennightconquersdayasGronwPebrconqueredLleuLlawGyffes.We’llcelebratethebirthofMabon,sonofMordontheguardianof
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theearth.Surethere’llbehoneycakesforcertain.I’llseeyouhaveabit.”
ThehawkrubbeditsheadagainstEamon’scheek,affectionateasakitten.
“Ihadthedreamagain,ofCabhan.Ofhome,ofMaaftershegaveusalmostalltherewasofher
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powerandsentusawaytobesafe.Iseeit,Roibeard.Howshepoisonedhimwithakiss,howsheflamed,usingallshehadtodestroyhim.Hetookherlife,andstill...Isawthestirringintheashesshemadeofhim.Thestirringofthem,somethingevil,andthe
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glowofredfromhispower.”
Eamonpausedamoment,drewuphispower,openedtoit.Hefeltthebeatingheartofarabbitrushingintothebrush,thehungerofafledglingwaitingforitsmotheranditsbreakfast.
Hefelthissisters,the
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sheep,thehorses.Andnothreat.“Hehasn’tfoundus.I
wouldfeelit.Youwouldseeit,andwouldtellme.Buthelooks,andhehunts,andhewaits,asIfeelthataswell.”
Thoseboldblueeyesdarkened;theboy’stendermouthfirmedintoa
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man’s.“Iwon’thideforever.Oneday,onthebloodofDaithiandSorcha,I’lldothehunting.”
Eamonliftedahand,tookafistfulofair,swirledit,tossedit—gently—towardatree.Branchesshook,androostingbirdstookflight.
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“I’llonlygetstronger,won’tI?”hemurmured,andwalkedtothecottagetopleaseAilishwithfourfish.
***
BRANNAUGHWENTABOUTHERDUTIESASSHEDID
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EVERYday.Aseverydayforfiveyearsshe’ddoneallthatwasaskedofher.Shecooked,shecleaned,tendedtheyoungonesasAilishalwaysseemedtohaveababyatthebreastorinthebelly.Shehelpedplantthefieldsandtendthecrops.Shehelpedinharvest.
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Goodhonestwork,ofcourse,andsatisfyinginitsway.NoonecouldbemorekindthanhercousinAilishandherhusband.Good,solidpeopleboth,peopleoftheearth,who’dofferedmorethansheltertothreeorphanedchildren.
They’dofferedfamily,
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andtherewasnomorepreciousgift.
Hadn’thermotherknownit?ShewouldneverhavesentherthreechildrentoAilishotherwise.Eveninthedarkesthour,Sorchawouldneverhavegivenherbelovedchildrentoanyonebutthekind,and
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theloving.Butattwelve,
Brannaughwasnolongerachild.Andwhatroseinher,spreadinher,wokeinher—moresinceshe’dstartedhercoursestheyearbefore—demanded.
Holdingsomuchin,turninghereyesfromthatever-brighteninglight
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provedharderandmoresorrowfuleveryday.ButsheowedAilishrespect,andhercousinheldafearofmagicksandpower—evenherown.
Brannaughhaddonewhathermotheraskedofheronthatterriblemorning.She’dtakenherbrotherandsistersouth,
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awayfromtheirhomeinMayo.She’dkeptofftheroad;she’dshutteredhergriefinherheartwhereonlyshecouldhearitkeening.
Andinthatheartlivedtheneedtoavengeaswell,theneedtoembracethepowerinsideher,andlearnmore,learnandhone
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enoughtodefeatCabhan,onceanddone.
ButAilishwantedonlyherman,herchildren,herfarm.Andwhynot?Shewasentitledtoherhomeandherlifeandherland,thequietofitall.Hadn’tsheriskeditbytakinginSorcha’sblood?TakinginwhatCabhanlustedfor—
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huntedfor?Shedeservedgratitude,
loyalty,andrespect.Butwhatlivedin
Brannaughclawedforfreedom.Choicesneededtobemade.
She’dseenherbrotherwalkbackfromtheriverwithhisfish,hishawk.Shefelthimtesthispower
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outofthesightofthecottage—asheoftendid.AsTeagan,theirsister,oftendid.Ailish,chatteringaboutthejamsthey’dmakethatday,feltnothing.Hercousinblockedmostofwhatshehad—apuzzlementtoBrannaugh—andusedonlythebitsheallowed
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herselftosweetenjamsorcoaxbiggereggsfromthehens.
Brannaughtoldherselfitwasworththesacrifice,thewaittofindmore,learnmore,bemore.Herbrotherandsisterweresafehere—astheirmotherwished.Teagan,whosegriefhadbeenbeyond
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reachingfordays,weeks,laughedandplayed.Shedidherchorescheerfully,tendedtheanimals,rodelikeawarrioronherbiggrayAlastar.
Perhapssomenightssheweptinhersleep,butBrannaughhadonlytogatherherintosootheher.
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ExceptwhencamethedreamsofCabhan.TheycametoTeagan,toEamon,toherself.Moreoftennow,clearernow,soclearBrannaughhadbeguntohearhisvoiceechoaftershewoke.
Choicesmustbemade.Thiswaiting,thissanctuary,mightneedto
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cometoanend,onewayoranother.
Intheeveningshescrubbedpotatoes,tenderfromtheharvest.Shestirredthestewbubblinglowonthefire,andtappedherfootashercousin’smanmademusiconhislittleharp.
Thecottage,warmand
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snug,ahappyplacefilledwithgoodscents,cheerfulvoices,Ailish’slaughassheliftedheryoungestontoherhipforadance.
Family,shethoughtagain.Wellfed,welltendedinacottagewarmandsnug,withherbsdryinginthekitchen,babeswithrosycheeks.
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Itshouldhavecontentedher—howshewisheditwould.
ShecaughtEamon’seye,thesameboldblueastheirfather’s,felthispowerprodagainsther.Hesawtoomuch,didEamon,shethought.Fartoomuchifshedidn’tremembertoshutterhim
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out.Shegavehimabitofa
pokeback—alittlewarningtomindhisown.Inthewayofsisters,shesmiledathiswince.
Aftertheeveningmealtherewerepotstobecleaned,childrentotuckintobed.Mabh,theeldestatseven,complained,as
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always,shewasn’tsleepy.Seamussnuggledrightin,readywithhisdreamingsmile.Thetwinsshe’dhelpedbringintotheworldherselfchatteredtoeachotherlikemagpies,youngBrighidslippedhercomfortingthumbinhermouth,andthebabysleptbeforehismotherlaidhim
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down.Brannaughwonderedif
Ailishknewbothsheandthebabewithhissweetangelfacewouldnotbewithoutmagick.Thebirth,sopainful,sowrong,wouldhaveendedthembothinbloodwithoutBrannaugh’spower,thehealing,theseeing,the
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doing.Thoughtheynever
spokeofit,shethoughtAilishknew.
Ailishstraightened,ahandonherback,anotheronthenextbabeinherwomb.“Andagoodnightandhappydreamstoall.Brannaugh,wouldyouhavesometeawithme?I
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coulddowithsomeofyoursoothingtea,asthisone’skickingupastormtonight.”
“SureandI’llfixyousome.”Andaddthecharmasshealwaysdidforhealthandaneasybirthing.“He’swellandhealthythatone,andwillbe,Isuspect,asbiga
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handfulonhisownasthetwins.”
“It’saboyforcertain,”Ailishsaidastheyclimbeddownfromthesleepingloft.“Icanfeelit.I’venotbeenwrongyet.”
“Norareyouthistime.Youcoulddowithmorerest,cousin.”
“Awomanwithsix
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childrenandoneinthepotdoesn’tseemuchrest.I’mwellenough.”HergazefixedonBrannaugh’sforconfirmation.
“Youaretobesure,butcoulddowithmorerestallthesame.”
“You’reagreathelpandcomforttome,Brannaugh.”
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“IhopeIam.”Somethinghere,
Brannaughthoughtasshebusiedherselfwiththetea.Shesensedhercousin’snerves,andtheystirredherown.
“Nowthattheharvestisin,youmightsettleinwithyoursewing.It’sneededwork,andrestful
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foryou.Icanseetothecooking.TeaganandMabhwillhelpthere,andI’lltellyoutrue,Mabh’salreadyafinecook.”
“Aye,sureandsheisthat.I’msoproudofher.”
“Withthegirlsseeingtothecooking,EamonandIcanhelpourcousinhunt.Iknowyou’drather
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Ididn’ttakeupthebow,butisn’titwiseforeachtodowhatwedowell?”
Ailish’sgazeveeredawayamoment.
Aye,Brannaughthought,sheknowsand,more,feelstheweightofaskingusnottobewhatweare.
“Ilovedyourmother.”
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“Oh,andsheyou.”“Wesawlittleofeach
otherthelastyears.Stillshesentmessagestome,inherway.ThenightMabhwasborn,thelittleblanketmygirlstillholdsasshesleepswasthere,justthereonthecradleBardanmadeforher.”
“Whenshespokeof
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you,itwaswithlove.”“Shesentyoutome.
You,Eamon,Teagan.Shecametome,inadream,askedmetogiveyouahome.”
“Younevertoldme,”Brannaughmurmured,andcarriedtheteatohercousin,satwithherbythepeatfire.
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“Twodaysbeforeyoucame,sheaskeditofme.”
Withherhandsclaspedinherlapoverskirtsasgrayashereyes,Brannaughstaredintothefire.“Ittookeightforustotravelhere.Herspiritcametoyou.IwishIcouldseeheragain,butIonlyseeherindreams.”
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“She’swithyou.Iseeherinyou.InEamon,inTeagan,butmostinyou.Herstrengthandbeauty.Herfierceloveoffamily.You’reofagenow,Brannaugh.Ofagewhereyoumustbegintothinkofmakingafamily.”
“Ihaveafamily.”“Ofyourown,asyour
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ownmotherdid.Ahome,darling,amantoworkthelandforyou,babesofyourown.”
ShesippedherteaasBrannaughremainedsilent.“Fialisafineman,agoodman.Hewasgoodtohiswifewhileshelived,Icanpromiseyou.Heneedsawife,amother
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forhischildren.Hehasafinehouse,farbiggerthanours.Hewouldofferforyou,andhewouldopenhishousetoEamonandTeagan.”
“HowcouldIwedFial?Heis...”Oldwasherfirstthought,butsherealizedhewouldbenoolderthanherBardan.
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“Hewouldgiveyouagoodlife,giveagoodlifetoyourbrother,yoursister.”Ailishpickeduphersewing,busyingherhands.“IwouldneverspeakofittoyouifIbelievedhewouldnottreatyouwithkindness,always.Heishandsome,Brannaugh,andhasafine
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wayabouthim.Willyouwalkoutwithhim?”
“I...Cousin,Idon’tthinkofFialinthatway.”
“Perhapsifyouwalkoutwithhimyouwill.”Ailishsmiledasshesaidit,asifsheknewasecret.“Awomanneedsamantoprovide,toprotect,togiveherchildren.Akindman
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withagoodhouse,apleasingface—”
“DidyouwedwithBardanbecausehewaskind?”
“Iwouldnothaveweddedhimhadn’thebeen.Onlyconsiderit.We’lltellhimwewaituntilaftertheequinoxtospeaktoyouofit.
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Consider.Willyoudothat?”
“Iwill.”Brannaughgottoher
feet.“DoesheknowwhatIam?”
Ailish’stiredeyeslowered.“Youaretheoldestdaughterofmycousin.”
“DoesheknowwhatI
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am,Ailish?”Itstirredinhernow,
whatsheheldin,heldback.Pridestirredit.Andthelightthatplayedoverherfacecamenotonlyfromtheflickersofthefire.
“IamtheoldestdaughteroftheDarkWitchofMayo.And
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beforeshesacrificedherlife,shesacrificedherpower,passingittome,toEamon,Teagan.Wearethethree.Darkwitcheswe.”
“Youareachild—”“Achildwhenyou
speakofmagicks,ofpower.Butawomanwhenyouspeakof
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weddingFial.”Thetruthofthathada
flushwarmingAilish’scheeks.“Brannaugh,mylove,haveyounotbeencontentheretheselastyears?”
“Aye,content.Andsograteful.”
“Bloodgivestobloodwithnoneedforgrateful.”
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“Aye.Bloodgivestoblood.”
Settinghersewingasideagain,AilishreachedforBrannaugh’shands.“Youwouldbesafe,thedaughterofmycousin.Andyouwouldbecontent.Youwould,Ibelieveit,beloved.Couldyouwantmore?”
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“Iammore,”shesaidquietly,andwentuptothesleepingloft.
***
BUTSLEEPELUDED.SHELAYQUIETBESIDETEAGAN,WAITINGforthemurmursbetweenAilishand
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Bardantofadeaway.Theywouldspeakofthismatch,thisgood,sensiblematch.Theywouldconvincethemselvesherreluctancewasonlyayounggirl’snerves.
Justastheyhadconvincedthemselvesshe,Eamon,andTeaganwerechildren,likeanyothers.
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Sherosequietly,slippedonhersoftboots,hershawl.Itwasairsheneeded.Air,thenight,themoon.
Sheclimbedsilentlydownfromtheloft,easedthedooropen.
Kathel,herhound,whosleptbythefire,uncurledand,withoutquestionor
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hesitation,wentoutbeforeher.
Nowshecouldbreathe,withthecoolnightaironhercheeks,withthequietlikeasoothinghandonthechaosinsideher.Here,foraslongasshecouldholdit,wasfreedom.
Sheandthefaithfuldogslippedlikeshadows
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intothetrees.Sheheardthebubblingoftheriver,thesighofwindthroughthetrees,smelledtheearth,andthetingefromthepeatsmokerisingfromthecottagechimney.
Shecouldcastthecircle,trytoconjurehermother’sspirit.Sheneededhermother
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tonight.Infiveyears,she’dnotwept,notallowedherselfasingletear.Now,shewantedtositontheground,herheadonhermother’sbreast,andweep.
Shelaidahandontheamuletshewore—theimageofthehoundhermotherhadconjuredwith
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love,withmagick,withblood.
Didshestaytruetoherblood,towhatlivedinher?Didsheembraceherownneeds,wants,passions?Ordidshesetthatasidelikeatoyoutgrown,anddowhatwouldensurethesafetyandfutureofherbrother
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andsister?“Mother,”she
murmured,“whatshouldIdo?Whatwouldyouhavemedo?Yougaveyourlifeforus.CanIdoless?”
Shefeltthereachingout,thejoiningofpowerlikeatwiningoffingers.Whirlingaround,shestaredattheshadows.
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Heartracing,shethought:Ma.
ButitwasEamonwhosteppedintothemoonlight,withTeagan’shandinhis.
Thekeenedgeofherdisappointmentslicedlikeabladethroughhervoice.“Youaretobeabed.Whatareyouthinking
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wanderingthewoodsatnight?”
“Youdothesame,”Eamonsnappedback.
“Iamtheoldest.”“Iamheadofthe
family.”“Thepunystaff
betweenyourlegsdoesn’tmakeyouheadofthefamily.”
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Teagangiggled,thenrushedforward,threwherarmsaroundhersister.“Don’tbeangry.Youneededustocome.Youwereinmydream.Youwept.”
“Iamnotweeping.”“Inhere.”Teagan
touchedahandtoBrannaugh’sheart.Her
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deep,darkeyes—soliketheirmother’s—searchedhersister’sface.“Whyareyousad?”
“Iamnotsad.Ionlycameouttothink.Tobealoneandthink.”
“Youthinktooloud,”Eamonmuttered,stillsmartingoverthe“puny”comment.
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“Andyoushouldhavemoremannersthantolistentoothers’thoughts.”
“HowcanIhelpitwhenyoushoutthem?”
“Stop.Wewillnotquarrel.”Teaganmighthavebeenthesmallestofthem,butshedidn’tlackinwill.“Wewillnotquarrel,”sherepeated.
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“Brannaughissad,Eamonislikeamanstandingonhotcoals,andI...IfeellikeIdowhenI’vehadtoomuchpudding.”
“Areyouill?”Brannaugh’sangerwhiskedaway.ShepeeredintoTeagan’seyes.
“Notthatway.Somethingis...not
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balanced.Ifeelit.Ithinkyoudo,andyoudo.Sowewillnotquarrel.Wearefamily.”StillholdingBrannaugh’shand,TeaganreachedforEamon’s.“Tellus,sister,whyyou’resad.”
“I...Iwanttocastacircle.Iwanttofeelthelightinme.Iwanttocast
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acircleandsitinitslightwithyou.Bothofyou.”
“Werarelyeverdo,”Teagansaid.“BecauseAilishwouldwedidn’t.”
“Andshehastakenusin.Weoweherrespectinherhome.Butwearenotinherhomenow,andsheneednotknow.Ineedthelight.Ineedtospeakwith
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youwithinourcircle,wherenoonecanhear.”
“Iwillcastit.Ipractice,”Teagantoldher.“WhenAlastarandIrideaway,Ipractice.”
Onasigh,Brannaughranahanddownhersister’sbrighthair.“It’sgoodyoudo.Castthecircle,deirfiúrbheag.”
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B
2
RANNAUGHWATCHEDTEAGANWORK,HOWHERSISTERpulled
light,pulledfireoutof
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herself,gavethegoddessherthanksassheforgedthering.Aringwideenough,Brannaughthought,withamusementandwithgratitude,toincludeKathel.
“Youdidwell.Ishouldhavetaughtyoumore,butI...”
“RespectedAilish.”
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“Andworryaswell,”Eamonputin,“thatifweuseourpowertoomuch,toostrong,he’llknow.He’llcome.”
“Aye.”Brannaughsatontheground,loopedanarmaroundKathel.“Shewantedussafe.Shegaveupeverythingforus.Herpower,herlife.She
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believedshewoulddestroyhim,andwewouldbesafe.Shecouldn’tknowwhateverblackpowerhebargainedwithcouldbringhimoutoftheashes.”
“Weaker.”ShelookedatEamon,
nodded.“Yes,weaker.Then.He...eatspower,I
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think.He’llfindothers,takefromthem,growstronger.Shewantedussafe.”Brannaughdrewabreath.“Fialwishestowedme.”
Eamon’smouthfellopen.“Fial?Buthe’sold.”
“NoolderthanBardan.”
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“Old!”Brannaughlaughed,
feltsomeofthetightnessinherchestease.“Menwantyoungwives,itseems.Sotheycanbearthemmanychildren,andstillwanttobedwiththemandcookforthem.”
“YouwillnotwedFial,”Teagansaid
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decisively.“Heiskind,andnot
uncomely.HehasahouseandfarmlargerthanAilishandBardan.Hewouldwelcomeyouboth.”
“YouwillnotwedFial,”Teaganrepeated.“Youdonotlovehim.”
“Idon’tlookforlove
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nordoIneedit.”“Youshould,buteven
ifyoucloseyoureyes,itwillfindyou.Doyouforgetthelovebetweenourmotherandfather?”
“Idon’t.Idon’tthinktofindsuchathingformyself.Perhapsonedayyouwill.Soprettyyouare,andbright.”
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“Oh,Iwill.”Teagannoddedwisely.“Asyouwill,asEamonwill.Andwewillpasswhatweare,whatwehave,tothosewhocomefromus.Ourmotherwantedthis.Shewantedustolive.”
“Wewouldlive,andwell,ifIwedFial.Iamtheoldest,”Brannaugh
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remindedthem.“Itisformetodecide.”
“Shechargedmetoprotectyou.”Eamonfoldedhisarmsacrosshischest.“Iforbidit.”
“Wewillnotquarrel.”Teagansnatchedtheirhands,grippedhard.Flameshimmeredthroughtheirjoinedfingers.“And
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Iwillnotbetendedto.Iamnotababe,Brannaugh,butthesameageasyouwhenweleftourhome.Youwillnotmarrytogivemeahome.Youwillnotdenywhatyouare,ignoreyourpower.YouarenotAilish,butBrannaugh,daughterofSorchaandDaithi.You
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areadarkwitch,andeverwillbe.”
“Onedaywewilldestroyhim,”Eamonvowed.“Onedaywewillavengeourfather,ourmother,andwewilldestroyeventheashweburnhiminto.Ourmotherhastoldmewewill,orthosewhocomefromus
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will,ifittakesathousandyears.”
“Shetoldyou?”“Thismorning.She
cametomewhileIwasontheriver,inthemistsandthequiet.IfindhertherewhenIneedher.”
“Shecomestomeonlyindreams.”TearsBrannaughwouldn’tshed
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cloggedherthroat.“Youholdwhatyou
aresotight.”Tosoothe,Teaganstrokedhersister’shair.“SonottoupsetAilish,sotoprotectus.Perhapsyouonlyallowhertocomeindreams.”
“Shecomestoyou?”Brannaughmurmured.
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“Notonlyindreams?”“SometimeswhenI
rideAlastar,whenwegodeepintothewoods,andIholdmyselfquiet,soquiet,shecomes.ShesingstomeassheusedtowhenIwaslittle.Anditwasourmotherwhotoldmewewillhavelove,wewillhavechildren.And
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wewill,byourblood,defeatCabhan.”
“AmItomarryFialthen,bearhimthechild,theblood,whowillfinishit?”
“No!”TinyflamesflickeredatTeagan’sfingertipsbeforesherememberedcontrol.“Thereisnolove.The
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lovecomes,thenthechild.Thisistheway.”
“Itisnottheonlyway.”
“Itisourway.”EamontookBrannaugh’shandagain.“Itwillbeourway.Wewillbewhatwearemeant,dowhatwemustdo.Ifwedon’ttry,whattheysacrificedforusis
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fornothing.Theywouldhavediedfornothing.Doyouwantitso?”
“No.No.Iwanttokillhim.Iwanthisblood,hisdeath.”Struggling,BrannaughpressedherfacetoKathel’sneck,soothedherselfwithhiswarmth.“IthinkpartofmewoulddieifIturned
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awayfromwhatIam.ButIknowallofmewouldifachoiceImakebringsharmtoeitherofyou.”
“Wechoose,allofus,”Eamonsaid.“Onebythree.Weneededthistime.Ourmothersentusheresowecouldhavethistime.Wearenotchildrennow.Ithinkwewereno
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longerchildrenwhenwerodefromhomethatmorning,knowingwewouldneverseeheragain.”
“Wehadpower.”Brannaughbreatheddeep,straightened.Thoughhewasyounger,andaboyforallthat,herbrotherspoketrue.“Shegaveus
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more.Iaskedyoubothtoletitliestill.”
“Youwererighttoaskit—evenifwewokeitnowandthen,”Eamonaddedwithasmile.“Weneededthetimehere,butthistimeiscomingtoaclose.Ifeelit.”
“AsIdo,”Brannaughmurmured.“SoI
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wonderedifitmeantFial.Butno,you’reright,bothofyou.Iamnotforthefarm.Notforkitchenmagicksandparlorgames.Wewilllook,herewithinthecircle.Wewilllook,andsee.Andknow.”
“Together?”Teagan’sfaceglowedwithjoyassheasked,andBrannaugh
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knewshe’dheldbackherself,hersisterandbrothertoolong.
“Together.”Brannaughcuppedherhands,broughtthepowerup,out.Anddroppingherhandsdownlikewaterfalling,shemadethefire.
Andthemakingofit,thatfirstskilllearned,the
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purityofthemagickcoursedthroughher.Itfeltasifshe’dtakenherfirstfullbreathinfiveyears.
“Youhavemorenow,”Teaganstated.
“Aye.It’swaited.I’vewaited.We’vewaited.Wewaitnomore.Throughtheflameandthesmoke,we’llseekhimout,see
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wherehelurks.Youseedeeper,”shetoldEamon,“buthaveacare.Ifheknowswelookathim,hewilllookatus.”
“IknowwhatI’mabout.Wecangothroughthefire,flythroughtheair,overwaterandearth,towhereheis.”Helaidahandonthesmallsword
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athisside.“Wecankillhim.”
“Itwilltakemorethanyoursword.Forallherpower,ourmothercouldn’tdestroyhim.Itwilltakemore,andwewillfindmore.Intime.Fornow,welookonly.”
“Wecanfly.AlastarandI.We...”Teagan
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trailedoffatBrannaugh’ssharplook.“Itjust...happenedoneday.”
“Wearewhatweare.”Brannaughshookherhead.“Ishouldneverhaveforgottenit.Nowwelook.Throughfire,throughsmoke,withshieldedsightasweinvoke.Toseek,tofind,hiseyesweblind,he
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whoshedourblood.Nowourpowerrisesinaflood.Wearethethree.Aswewill,somoteitbe.”
Theygrippedhands,joinedtheirlight.
Flamesshifted;smokecleared.
There,drinkingwinefromasilvercup,wasCabhan.Hisdarkhairfell
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tohisshoulders,gleamedinthelightofthetallows.
Brannaughsawstonewalls,richtapestriescoveringthem,abedwithcurtainsofdeepbluevelvet.
Athisease,shethought.Hehadfoundcomfort,riches—itdidn’tsurpriseher.Hewoulduse
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hispowersforgain,forpleasure,fordeath.Forwhateversuitedhispurpose.
Awomancameintothechamber.Sheworerichrobes,hadhairdarkasmidnight.Spellbound,Brannaughthought,bytheblindlookinhereyes.
Andyet...some
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powerthere,some,Brannaughrealized.Strugglingtobreakthebondsthatlockedittight.
Cabhandidn’tspeak,merelyflickedahandtowardthebed.Thewomanwalkedtoit,disrobed,stoodforamoment,herskinwhiteasmoonshineglowinginthe
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light.Behindthoseblind
eyes,Brannaughsawthewarwaged,thebitter,bitterfighttobreakfree.Tostrikeout.
Foramoment,Eamon’sfocuswavered.He’dneverseenagrownwomanfullynaked,noronewithsuchlarge
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breasts.Likehissistershesensedthattrappedpower—likeawhitebirdinablackbox.Butallthatbareskin,thosesoft,generousbreasts,thefascinatingtriangleofhairbetweenherlegs.
Woulditfeellikethehaironherhead?Hedesperatelywantedto
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touch,justthere,andknow.
Cabhan’sheadcameup,awolfscentingtheair.Herosesoquickly,thesilvercupupended,spillingwineredasblood.
BrannaughtwistedEamon’sfingerspainfully.Thoughheyelped,flushedasredasthefire,he
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broughthisfocusback.Still,foramoment,a
terriblemoment,Cabhan’seyesseemedtolookstraightintohis.
Thenhewalkedtothewoman.Hegrippedherbreasts,squeezed,twisted.Painranoverherface,butshedidn’tcryout.
Couldn’tcryout.
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Hepinchedhernipples,twistedthemuntiltearsrandownhercheeks,untilbruisesmarredthewhiteskin.Hestruckher,knockingherbackonthebed.Bloodtrickledfromthecornerofhermouth,butsheonlystared.
Withaflickofhiswrist,hewasnaked,and
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hiscockfullyerect.Itseemedtoglow,butnotwithlight.Withdark.Eamonsenseditwaslikeice—coldandsharpandhorrible.Andthisherammedintothewomanlikeapikewhilethetearsrandownhercheeksandthebloodtrickledfromhermouth.
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SomethinginsideEamonburstupwithoutrage—avicious,innatefuryatseeingawomantreatedthus.Henearlypushedthroughthatfire,thatsmoke,butBrannaughgrippedhishand,twistingboneagainstbone.
Andwhileherapedher
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—foritwasnothingelse—EamonfeltCabhan’sthoughts.ThoughtsofSorcha,andtheterriblelustforherthathe’dneverquenched.Thoughtsof...Brannaugh.OfBrannaugh,andhowhewoulddothistoher,andmore.Andworse.Howhewouldgiveherpain
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beforehetookherpower.Howhewouldtakeherpowerbeforehetookherlife.
Brannaughquenchedthefirequickly,endedthevisiononasnap.AndasquicklygrabbedEamonbybotharms.“Isaidwewerenotready.DoyounotthinkIfeltyougather
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togo?”“Hehurther.Hetook
herpower,herbody,againstherwill.”
“Henearlyfoundyou—hesensedsomethingpushingin.”
“Iwouldkillhimforhisthoughtsalone.Hewillnevertouchyouashedidher.”
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“Hewantedtohurther.”Teagan’svoicewasachild’snow.“Buthethoughtofourmother,notofher.Thenhethoughtofyou.”
“Histhoughtscan’thurtme.”Butthey’dshakenher,deepinsideherself.“Hewillneverdotome,ortoyou,whathe
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didtothatpoorwoman.”“Couldwehavehelped
her?”“Ah,Teagan,Idon’t
know.”“Wedidnottry.”
Eamon’swordslashedout.“Youheldmehere.”
“Foryourlife,forours,forourpurpose.DoyouthinkIdon’tfeelwhatyou
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feel?”Eventhesecretfeardrownedinanicywaveofrage.“Thatitstabbedathousandtimestodonothing?Hehaspower.Notwhathehad,butdifferent.Notmore,butless,andstilldifferent.Idon’tknowhowtofighthim.Yet.Wedon’tknow,Eamon,andwemust
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know.”“He’scoming.Not
tonight,nottomorrow,buthe’llcome.Heknowsyou...”Eamonflushedagain,lookedaway.
“HeknowsIcanbearchildren,”Brannaughfinished.“Hethinkstogetasonfromme.Heneverwill.Buthe’scoming.I
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feltitaswell.”“Thenwemustgo.”
TeagantippedherheadtoKathel’sflank.“Wemustneverbringhimhere.”
“Wemustgo,”Brannaughagreed.“Wemustbewhatweare.”
“Wherewillwego?”“South.”Brannaugh
lookedatEamonfor
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confirmation.“Aye,south,asheis
stillnorth.HeremainsinMayo.”
“Wewillfindaplace,andtherewewilllearnmore,findmore.Andonedaywewillgohome.”
Sherose,tookboththeirhandsagain,letthepowersparkfromoneto
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one.“Iswearbyourbloodwewillgohomeagain.”
“Iswearbyourblood,”Eamonsaid,“weorwhatcomesfromuswilldestroyeventhethoughtofhim.”
“Iswearbyourblood,”Teagansaid,“wearethethree,andwilleverbe.”
“Nowweclosethe
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circle,butneveragaincloseoffwhatweare,whatwehave,whatweweregiven.”Brannaughreleasedtheirhands.“Weleaveonthemorrow.”
***
EYESWEEPY,AILISH
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WATCHEDBRANNAUGHPACKHERSHAWL.“Ibegyoutostay.ThinkofTeagan.She’sbutachild.”
“TheageIwaswhenwecametoyou.”
“Asyouwereachild,”shesaid.
“Iwasmore.Wearemore,andmustbewhat
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weare.”“Ifrightenedyouby
speakingofFial.Youcannotthinkwewouldforceamarriageuponyou.”
“No.Ohno.”Brannaughturnedthen,tookhercousin’shands.“Youneverwould.ItisnotforFialweleaveyou,
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cousin.”Turning,Brannaugh
packedthelastofherthings.
“Yourmotherwouldnotwantthisforyou.”
“Mymotherwouldwantustobehome,happyandsafewithherandourfather.Butthatwasnottobe.Mymother
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gaveherlifeforus,gaveherpowertous.Andnowherpurposetous.Wemustliveourlives,embraceourpower,completeourpurpose.”
“Wherewillyougo?”“ToClare,Ithink.For
now.Wewillcomeback.Andwewillgohome.Ifeelitastrueaslife.He
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willnotcomehere.”Turningback,she
lookedintohercousin’seyes,herownlikesmoke.“Hewillnotcomehereorharmyouoranyofyours.ThisIsweartoyouonmymother’sblood.”
“Howcanyouknow?”“Iamoneofthree.I
amadarkwitchofMayo,
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firstdaughterofSorcha.Heshallnotcomeherenorharmyouoryours.Youareprotectedforallofyourlife.ThisIhavedone.Iwouldnotleaveyouunprotected.”
“Brannaugh...”“Youworry.”
Brannaughlaidherhandsoverhercousin’shands,
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whichrestedonthemoundofherbelly.“HaveInottoldyouyoursoniswellandhealthy?Thebirthingwillgoeasy,andquicklyaswell.ThisIcanpromiseaswell,andIdo.But...”
“Whatisit?Youmusttellme.”
“Asyoulovemeso
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stillyoufearwhatIhave.Butyoumustbidemenow,inthis.Yourson,thisonetocome,mustbethelast.Hewillbehealthy,andthebirthingwillgowell.Butthenextwillnot.Ifthereisanext,youwillnotsurvive.”
“I...Youcannotknow.Icannotdenymy
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husbandthemarriagebed.Ormyself.”
“Youcannotdenyyourchildrentheirmother.Itisaterriblegrieving,Ailish.”
“Godwilldecide.”“Godwillhavegiven
yousevenchildren,butthepriceforanotherwillbeyourlife,andthe
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babe’saswell.AsIloveyou,heedme.”
Shetookabottlefromherpocket.“Ihavemadethisforyou.Onlyyou.Youwillputitaway.Onceeverymonthonthefirstdayofyourcourses,youwilldrink—onesiponly.Youwillnotconceive,evenafteryou
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takethelastsip,foritwillbedone.Youwilllive.Yourchildrenwillhavetheirmother.Youwilllivetorocktheirchildren.”
Ailishlaidherhandsoverthemoundofherbelly.“Iwillbebarren.”
“Youwillsingtoyourchildren,andtheirchildren.Youwillshare
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yourbedwithyourmaninpleasure.Youwillrejoiceinthepreciouslivesyoubroughtintotheworld.Thechoiceisyours,Ailish.”
Sheclosedhereyesamoment.Whensheopenedthem,theyturneddark,dark.“YouwillcallhimLughaidh.Hewillbe
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fairoffaceandhair,blueofeye.Astrongboywithareadysmile,andthevoiceofanangel.Onedayhewilltravelandrambleandusehisvoicetomakehisliving.Hewillfallinlovewithafarmer’sdaughter,andwillcomebacktoyouwithhertoworktheland.Andyou
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willhearhisvoiceacrossthefields,forhewilleverbejoyful.”
Sheletthevisiongo.“Ihaveseenwhatcanbe.Youmustchoose.”
“ThisisthenameIchoseforhim,”Ailishmurmured.“Inevertoldyou,noranyone.”Nowshetookthebottle.“Iwill
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heedyou.”Pressingherlips
together,Ailishreachedintoherpocket,tookoutasmallpouch.ThisshepushedintoBrannaugh’shand.“Takethis.”
“Iwon’ttakeyourcoin.”
“Youwill.”Thetearsfellnow,spillingdown
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hercheekslikerain.“DoyouthinkIdon’tknowyousavedmeandConallinthebirthing?Andevennowyouthinkofmeandmine?Youhavegivenmejoy.YouhavebroughtSorchatomewhenImissedher,forIsawherinyoudaybyday.Youwilltakethecoin,and
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sweartomeyouwillbesafe,youwillcomeback.Allofyou,foryouaremineasIamyours.”
Understanding,Brannaughslippedthepurseintothepocketofherskirts,thenkissedAilishoneachcheek.“Iswearit.”
OutsideEamondidhis
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besttomakehiscousinslaugh.Theyaskedhimnottogo,ofcourse,askedwhyhemust,triedtobargainwithhim.Sohewoundstoriesofthegrandadventureshewouldhave,smitingdragonsandcatchingmagickfrogs.HesawTeaganwalkingwithaweepingMabh,sawher
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giveMabharagdollshe’dmadeherself.
HewishedBrannaughwouldhurry,fortheleave-takingwasamisery.Alastarstoodready.Eamon—hewasheadofthefamily,afterall,haddecidedhissisterswouldride,andhewouldwalk.
Hewouldbrookno
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argument.Bardancameoutofthe
littlestableleadingSlaine—OldSlainenow,asthebroodmarewaspastherprime,butasweet-naturedthingforallthat.
“Herbreedingdaysaredone,”Bardansaidinhiscarefulway.“Butshe’sagoodgirl,andshe’llserve
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youwell.”“Oh,butIcan’tbe
takingherfromyou.Youneed—”
“Amanneedsahorse.”BardansethiscallousedhandonEamon’sshoulder.“You’vedoneaman’sworkforthefarm,soyou’lltakeher.I’dgiveyouMoonforBrannaugh
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ifIcouldsparehim,butyou’lltakeOldSlainehere.”
“It’smorethangratefulIamtoyou,forSlaineandalltherest.IpromiseyouI’lltreatherlikeaqueen.”
Foramoment,Eamonlethimselfbejustaboy,andthrewhisarmsaroundhiscousin,themanwho’d
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beenafathertohimforhalfhislife.“We’llcomebackoneday.”
“Besureyoudo.”Whenitwasdone,all
thefarewells,thesafejourneys,thetears,heswunguponthemare,hisgrandfather’sswordandsheathsecuredagainsthissaddle.Brannaugh
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mountedbehindTeagan,leaneddownoncetokissAilishalasttime.
Theyrodeawayfromthefarm,theirhomeforfiveyears,fromtheirfamily—andsouthtowardtheunknown.
Helookedback,wavedastheywaved,foundhimselfmoretorninthe
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leavingthanhe’dexpected.ThenoverheadRoibeardcalled,circledbeforespearingthewaysouth.
Thiswasmeant,Eamondecided.Thiswasthetime.
Heslowedhispaceabit,cockedhisheadatTeagan.“So,howdoes
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ourSlainefeelaboutallthisthen?”
Teaganlookeddownatthemare,cockedherheadinturn.“Oh,it’sagrandadventuretoher,tobesure,andsheneverthoughttohaveanother.She’sproudandshe’sgrateful.She’llbeloyaltotheendofherdays,and
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doherverybestforyou.”“AndI’lldomybest
forher.We’llridethroughmiddaybeforewestoptorestthehorses,andeatthefirstoftheoatcakesAilishpackedforus.”
“Isthatwhatwe’llbedoing?”Brannaughsaid.
Hetosseduphischin.“You’retheeldest,butI
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havethestaff,howeverpunyyoumightthinkitis—whichitisn’tatall.Roibeardshowstheway,andwefollow.”
Brannaughlookedup,watchedtheflightofthehawk.ThendownatKathelwhoprancedalongbesideAlastarasifhecouldwalkalldayand
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throughthenight.“Yourguide,mine,and
Teagan’s.Aye,wefollow.Ailishgavemesomecoin,butwewon’tbespendingitunlesswemust.We’llbemakingourown.”
“Andjusthowarewedoingthat?”
“Bybeingwhatweare.”Sheliftedherhand,
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palmup,broughtasmallballofflameintoit.Thenvanishedit.“Ourmotherservedhergift,tendedus,hercabin.Wecansurelyserveourgift,tendourselves,andfindaplacetodoboth.”
“Clare’sawildplaceIhear,”Teaganoffered.
“Andwhatbetterplace
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thanthewildforsuchasus?”Thepurejoyoffreedomripenedwitheverystep.“Wehaveourmother’sbook,andwe’llstudy,we’lllearn.We’llmakepotionsanddohealings.Ahealerisalwayswelcome,shetoldme.”
“Whenhecomes,it
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willtakemorethanhealingandpotions.”
“Soitwill,”Brannaughsaidtoherbrother.“Sowelearn.Weweresafefiveyearsatthefarm.IfourguidesleadustoClare,asitseemstheywill,wemayhavethenextfivethere.Timeenoughtolearn,toplan.
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Whenwegohomeagain,we’llbestrongerthanhecanknow.”
Theyrodethroughmiddayandintotherain.Softandsteadyitfellfromaskyofbruisesandbroodings.Theyrestedthehorses,wateredthem,sharedoatcakes,withsomeforKathel.
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Throughtheraincamethewindastheycontinuedtheirjourney,pastalittlefarmandcabinwithsmokepuffingoutofthechimney,sendingoutthescentofburningpeat.Insidetheymightbewelcome,begiventeaandaplacebythefire.Insidethewarmanddry.
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ButKathelcontinuedtoprance,Roibeardtocircle,andAlastarneverslowed.
Andeventhegloomylightbegantodieasthedaytippedtowardnight.
“Slainegrowsweary,”Teaganmurmured.“Shewon’tasktostop,butshetires.Herbonesache.
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Can’twerestherabit,findadryplaceand—”
“There!”Eamonpointedahead.Nearthemuddytrackstoodwhatmighthavebeenanoldplaceofworship.Sackednow,burneddowntothescorchedstonebymenwhocouldn’tstopdestroyingwhatthose
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theyvanquishedhadbuilt.Roibeardcircledover
it,calling,calling,andKathelboundedahead.
“We’llstopthereforthenight.Makeafire,resttheanimalsandourselves.”
Brannaughnoddedatherbrother.“Thewallsstand—ormostofthem.It
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shouldkeepthewindout,andwecandotherest.It’snearlyendofday.WeoweMordanandMabonwhocamefromherourthanks.”
Onewallhadfallenin,theydiscovered,buttheothersstood.Evensomesteps,whichEamonimmediatelytested,
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circleduptowhathadbeenasecondlevel.Whatevertimberhadbeenusedhadburnedtoashesandblowntothewinds.Butitwasshelterofasortand,Brannaughfelt,therightplace.
Thiswouldbetheplaceoftheirfirstnight,theequinox,whenthe
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lightandthedarkbalanced.
“I’lltendthehorses.”Teagantookthereinsofboth.“Thehorsesaremine,afterall.I’llseetothem,ifyoumakeusaplace,adryspotI’mhoping,andagoodfire.”
“ThatI’lldo.We’llgiveourthanks,thenhave
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someteaandsomeofthedriedvenisonbeforewe—”
ShebrokeoffasRoibeardswoopeddown,perchedonanarrowstoneledge.
AnddroppedafathareonthegroundatEamon’sfeet.
“Wellnow,that’sa
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feastinthemaking.I’llcleanit,Teagantendsthehorses,andBrannaughthefire.”
Adryspot,shethought,andshovingbackthehoodofhercloakimaginedone.Drewupandoutwhatshewas,thoughtofwarmanddry—andflashedoutheatso
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brightandhotitnearlyburnedthemallbeforeshedrewitdownagain.
“I’msorryforthat.Ihaven’tdoneanyofthisbefore.”
“It’sacorkoutofabottle,”Eamondecided.“Anditpouredouttoofast.”
“Aye.”Sheslowedit,
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carefully,carefully.Shedidn’tmindthewetforherself,butTeaganwasright.Theoldmare’sbonesached,evenshecouldfeelit.
Sheeasedbackthewet,slowly,justabit,justabitmore.Ittrembledthroughher,thejoyofit.Loosednow,free.Then
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thefire.Magickaltonight.Othernights,astheirmotherhadtaughtthem,abodygatheredwood,puttheworkintoit.Buttonight,itwouldbeherfire.
Shebroughtit,bankedit.
“Abitoftheoatcake,andsomewine,”shetold
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herbrother,hersister.“Anofferingofthankstothegodsforthebalanceofthedayandnight,forthecycleofrebirth.Andforthisplaceofrest.
“Intothefire,”shetoldthem.“Thecake,thenthewine.Thesesmallthingswesharewiththee,wegiveourthankswe
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servantsthree.”“Atthistimewhere
daymeetsnight,weembracebothdarkandlight,”Eamoncontinued,notsurewherethewordshadcomefrom.
“Wewilllearntostandandfight,touseourgiftsfortherightandthewhite,”Teaganadded.
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“Inthisplaceandhour,weopentoourgivenpower.Fromnowtilleveritwillbefree.Aswewill,somoteitbe.”
Thefireshotup,atower,red,orange,gold,withaheartofburningblue.Athousandvoiceswhisperedinit,andthegroundshook.Thenthe
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worldseemedtosigh.Thefirewasafire,
bankedinatidycircleonthestonyground.
“Thisiswhatweare,”Brannaughsaid,stillglowingfromtheshockofenergy.“Thisiswhatwehave.Thenightsgrowlongernow.Thedarkconquerslight.Buthewill
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notconquerus.”Shesmiled,herheart
fullasithadn’tbeensincethemorningthey’dlefthome.“Weneedtomakeaspitforthehare.We’llhavethatfeasttonight,ourfirst.Andwe’llrestinthewarmanddryuntilwejourneyon.”
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***
EAMONCURLEDBYTHEFIRE,HISBELLYFULL,HISBODYwarmanddry.Andjourneyedon.
Hefelthimselfliftup,liftout,andfly.North.Home.
LikeRoibeard,hesoaredoverthehills,the
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rivers,thefieldswherecattlelowed,wheresheepcropped.
Greenandgreentowardhomewiththesunslidingquietthroughtheclouds.
Hisheart,solight.Goinghome.
Butnothome.Notreallyhome,herealized
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whenhefoundhimselfonthegroundagain.Thewoods,sofamiliar—butnot.Somethingdifferent.Eventheairdifferent,andyetthesame.
Itallmadehimdizzyandweak.
Hebegantowalk,whistlingforhishawk.Hisguide.Thelight
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changed,dimmed.Wasnightcomingsofast?
Butnotthenight,hesaw.Itwasthefog.
Andwithit,thewolfthatwasCabhan.
Heheardthegrowlofit,reachedforhisgrandfather’ssword.Butitwasn’tathisside.Hewasaboy,ankledeepin
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mists,unarmed,asthewolfwiththeredgemglowingaroundhisneckwalkedoutofthefog.Andbecameaman.
“Welcomeback,youngEamon.I’vewaitedforyou.”
“Youkilledmyfather,mymother.I’vecometoavengethem.”
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Cabhanlaughed,arolling,merrysoundthatsenticerunningupEamon’sspine.
“It’sspirityouhave,sothat’sfineandwell.Comeavengethen,thedeadfather,thedeadwitchwhowhelpedyou.Iwillhavewhatyouare,andthenI’llmakeyoursistersmine.”
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“Youwillnevertouchwhat’smine.”Eamoncircled,triedtothink.Thefogroseandrose,cloudingall,thewoods,thepath,hismind.Hegrippedair,fistedit,hurledit.Itcarvedashakyandnarrowpath.Cabhanlaughedagain.
“Closer.Comecloser.
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FeelwhatIam.”Hedidfeelit,thepain
ofit,thepowerofit.Andthefear.Hetriedfire,butitfellsmoldering,turnedtodirtyash.WhenCabhan’shandsreachedoutforhim,heliftedhisfiststofight.
Roibeardswoopedlikeanarrow,clawsandbeak
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tearingatthoseoutstretchedhands.Thebloodranblackasthemanhowled,asthemanbegantore-formintothewolf.
Andanothermancamethroughthefog.Tall,hisbrownhairdampfromthemists,hiseyesdeepandgreenandfullofpower
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andfury.“Run,”hetoldEamon.“Iwillnotrunfrom
suchashe.Icannot.”Thewolfpawedthe
ground,showeditsteethinaterriblesmile.
“Takemyhand.”Themangrabbed
Eamon’shand.Lightexplodedlikesuns,power
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flewlikeathousandbeatingwings.Blindanddeaf,Eamoncriedout.Therewasonlypower,coveringhim,fillinghim,burstingfromhim.Thenwithoneshatteringroar,thefogwasgone,thewolfgone,andonlythemangrippinghishandremained.
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Themandroppedtohisknees,breathharsh,facewhite,eyesfullofmagicks.“Whoareyou?”hedemanded.
“IamEamonsonofDaithi,sonofSorcha.Iamofthethree.IamtheDarkWitchofMayo.”
“AsamI.Eamon.”Onashakylaugh,theman
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touchedEamon’shair,hisface.“Iamfromyou.You’reoutofyourtime,lad,andinmine.I’mConnor,oftheclanO’Dwyer.IamoutofSorcha,outofyou.Oneofthree.”
“HowdoIknowthistobetrue?”
“Iamyourblood,you
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aremine.Youknow.”Connorpulledtheamuletfromunderhisshirt,touchedtheone,thesameone,Eamonwore.
Andthemanliftedanarm.Roibeardlandedontheleatherglovehewore.
NotRoibeard,Eamonrealized,andyet...
“Myhawk.Notyours,
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butnamedforhim.Askhimwhatyouwill.Heisyoursasmuchasmine.”
“Thisis...notmyplace.”
“Itis,yes,notyourtimebutyourplace.Iteverwillbe.”
TearsstungEamon’seyes,andhisbellyquiveredwithlonging
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worsethanhunger.“Didwecomehome?”
“Youdid.”“Willwedefeathim,
avengeourparents?”“Wewill.Wewill
neverstopuntilit’sdone.Mywordtoyou.”
“Iwishto...I’mgoingback.Ifeelit.Brannaugh,she’scalling
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meback.YousavedmefromCabhan.”
“Savingyousavedme,I’mthinking.”
“ConnoroftheO’Dwyers.Iwillnotforget.”
Andheflew,overthehillsagain,untilitwassoft,softmorningandhesatbyBrannaugh’sfire
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withbothhissistersshakinghim.
“Leaveoff,now!Myheadiscirclingovertherestofme.”
“He’ssopale,”Teagansaid.“Here,here,I’llfixyoutea.”
“Teawouldbewelcome.Iwentonajourney.Idon’tknow
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how,butIwenthome,but’twasn’thome.Ineedtosortthroughit.ButIknowsomethingIdidn’t.Somethingwedidn’t.”
HeguzzledsomewaterBrannaughpushedonhim,thenshovedtheskinawayagain.“Hecan’tleavethere.Cabhan.Hecan’tleave,ornotfar.The
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fartherfromhome,fromwherehetradedforhisnewpowers,thelesstheyare.Herisksdeathtoleavethere.Hecan’tfollowus.”
“Howdoyouknowthis?”Brannaughdemanded.
“I...sawitinhismind.Idon’tknowhow.I
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sawitthere,thatweakness.Imetaman,he’sours.I...”Eamondrewalongbreath,closedhiseyesamoment.
“Letmehavesometea,willyouthen?Alittletea,thenIhaveataletotellyou.We’llbidehereawhileyet,andI’lltellyouall.Then,aye,aye,
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southforus,tolearn,togrow,toplan.Forhecan’ttouchus.Hewon’tevertouchyou.”
Whateverboyhe’dbeen,hewasamannow.Andpowerstillsimmeredinsidehim.
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3
Autumn 2013
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W HENCONNORWOKEEARLIERTHANHELIKED,HEhadn’t
expectedtomeetanancestor,orthegreatestenemyofhisblood.Hecertainlyhadn’tanticipatedstartinghisdaywithanexplosionofmagicksthathadallbut
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knockedhimoffhisfeet.But,inthemain,he
likedtheunexpected.Withthedawnbarely
broken,there’dbeennohopehissistermightbebusyinthekitchen.Andhisskinmeanttoomuchtohimtoriskwakingherandsuggestingshemightliketocookupbreakfast.
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More,therehadn’tbeenahunger,andhealwayswokereadytobreakthenight’sfast.Insteadthere’dbeenanoddenergy,andadeepneedtogetout,getabout.
Sohe’dwhistleduphishawkand,withRoibeardforhiscompanion,hadtakenhimselfintothe
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mistsandtrees.Andquiet.Hewasn’tamanwho
requiredagreatdealofquiet.Hepreferred,mostofthetime,thenoiseandconversationsandheatofcompany.Butthissoftmorning,thecallofhishawk,thescrabbleofrabbitinthebrush,and
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thesighofthemorningbreezehadbeenenoughforhim.
HethoughthemightwalkovertoAshfordCastle,letRoibeardsoarintheopen,overthegreensthere—andthatwouldgiveanyearly-risingguestsatthehotelathrill.
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Thrillsoftendrummedupbusiness,andhehadonetorunwiththefalconryschool.
He’daimedforthatexactly,untilhe’dfeltit—thestirofpower,withinandwithout.Hisownrisingwithouthisaskingit,thedarkstainofwhatwasCabhan,smudging
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thesweetnessofthedewypines.
Andsomethingmore,somethingmore.
Heshouldhavecalledhiscircle—hissister,hiscousin,hisfriends,butsomethingpushedhimon,downthepath,throughthetrees,nearthewallofvinesanduprootedtree
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wherebeyondlaytheruinsofthecabinthathadbeenSorcha’s.BeyondwhereheandhiscirclehadbattledCabhanonthenightofthesummersolstice.
Therethefogspread,thepowerthrummed,darkagainstwhite.Hesawtheboy,thoughtfirstandonly
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toprotect.Hewouldnot,couldnot,allowharmtoaninnocent.
Buttheboy,whileinnocentenough,hadmore.Thesomethingmore.
Now,thefoggoneandCabhanwithit,theboygonebacktohisowntime,hisownplace,
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Connorstayedashewas—onhiskneesonthedampground,fightingtogethisbreathfullybackintohislungs.
Hisearsstillrangfromwhathadsoundedlikeworldsexploding.Hiseyesstillburnedfromalightbrighterthanadozensuns.
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Andthepowermergedwithjoinedhandssangthroughhim.
Hegotslowlytohisfeet,atall,leanmanwithathickmopofcurlingbrownhair,hisfacepaleyet,andhiseyesdeepandgreenasthemosswithwhatstillstirredinsidehim.
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Besttogethome,hethought.Togetback.Forwhathadcomethroughthesolstice,andhiddenawaytilltheequinoxlurkedstill.
Abitwobblyinthelegsyet,herealized,unsureifheshouldbeamusedorembarrassed.Hishawkswoopedby,
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landedwithaflutterofwingsonabranch.Sat,watched,waited.
“We’llgo,”hesaid.“Ithinkwe’vedonewhatweweremeanttodothismorning.Andnow,Jesus,I’mstarving.”
Thepower,hethoughtashebegantowalk.Thesheerforceofithad
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hulledhimout.Turningtowardhome,hesensedhissister’shoundsecondsbeforeKathelrantowardhim.
“Youfeltitaswell,didyounow?”HegaveKathel’sgreatblackheadastroke,continuedon.“I’dbesurprisedifallofMayodidn’tfeelajolt
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fromit.Myskin’sstillbuzzinglikemybonesarecoveredwithbees.”
Steadieryetwithhoundandhawk,hewalkedoutoftheshadowsofthewoodsintothepearlymorning.RoibeardcircledoverheadashewalkedtheroadwithKatheltothecottage.A
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secondhawkcried,andConnorspottedhisfriendFin’sMerlin.
Thenthethunderofhoofbeatsbrokethroughthequiet,sohepaused,waited—feltafreshstirringashesawhiscousinIona,hisfriendBoyleastridethebiggrayAlastar.AndFinaswell,
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racingwiththemonhisgleamingblackBaru.
“We’llneedmoreeggs,”hecalledout,smilingnow.“Andanotherrasherortwoofbacon.”
“Whathappened?”Iona,hershortcapofhairtousledfromsleep,leaneddowntotouchhischeek.
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“Iknewyouweresafe,orwe’dhavecomeevenfaster.”
“Youallbutflewasitis—andnotasaddlebetweenthethreeofyou.I’lltellyouinside.Icouldeatthreepigsandtopitoffwithacow.”
“Cabhan.”Fin,hishairdarkashismount’s,his
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eyesthedarkgreenofConnor’swhenthepowerhadtakenhim,turnedtostareintothetrees.
“Himandmore.ButIonahastherightofit.I’mfineandwell,juststarvinghalftodeathwhilewestandhereontheroad.Youfeltit,”headdedwhenhebeganto
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walkagain.“Feltit?”Boylestared
downatConnor.“Itwokemefromasoundsleep,andIdon’thavewhatthethreeofyoudo.I’venomagickinme,andstillwhateveritwasshotthroughmelikeanarrow.”Henoddedtowardthecottage.“Anditseems
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thesameforMeara.”Connorlookedover,
sawMearaQuinn,lifelongfriend,hissister’sbestmate,stridingalongtowardthem—tallandlushasagoddessinherflannelsleeppantsandoldjacket,hethought,andherlongbrownhairatangle.
Shemadeapicture,he
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mused,butthensheeverdid.
“Shestayedthenight,”hetoldtheothers.“TookIona’sroomasyoustayedoveratBoyle’s,cousin.Goodmorningtoyou,Meara.”
“Goodmorningbedamned.Whatthebloodyhellhappened?”
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“I’maftertellingyouall.”Heslippedanarmaroundherwaist.“ButIneedfood.”
“Brannasaidyouwould,andshe’salreadyseeingtoit.She’sshaken,andpretendingnottobe.Itwaslikeableedingearthquake—butinsideme.That’sthedevilofa
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waytowake.”“I’llseetothehorses.”
BoyleslidoffAlastar.“Goonin,stuffsomethinginyourbelly.”
“Thanksforthat.”Smilingagain,ConnorliftedhisarmssoIonacoulddropintothemfromAlastar’sback.Thenshewrappedaroundhim.
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“Scaredme,”shemurmured.
“You’renotaloneinthat.”Hekissedthetopofherhead,hisprettycousinfromAmerica,thelastofthethree,andkeepingherhandinhis,wentintothecottage.
Thescentofbacon,ofcoffee,ofwarmbreadhit
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hisbellylikeafist.Inthatmomenthewantedtoeatmorethanhewantedtolive—andneededtoeatifhewantedtolive.
Kathelledthewaybacktothekitchen,andthereBrannaworkedatthestove.She’dtiedherdarkhairback,stillworethefloweredflannelpants
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andbaggyshirtshe’dsleptin.Thataloneshowedherlove,hemused,asshe’dhavetakenthetimetochange,tofusswithherselfalittleknowingthere’dbecompany—andFinbarBurkemostespecially.
Sayingnothing,sheturnedfromthestove,
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handedhimaplateholdingafriedeggontoast.
“Blessyou,darling.”“It’llfilltheworstof
thehole.There’smorecoming.You’recold,”shesaidquietly.
“Ihadn’tnoticed,butIam,yes.Abitcold.”
Beforeshecouldflick
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ahandtowardthekitchenhearth,Findidso,andthelittlefireflashed.
“You’requiveringsome.Sit,forGod’ssake,andeatlikeahuman.”Voicebrisk,Mearaallbutshovedhimintoachairatthetable.
“I’mnotaonetobrushawaysomefussing,and
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truthbetold,I’dkillforcoffee.”
“I’llgetit.”Ionahurriedovertothepot.
“Ah,whatmancancomplainwiththreebeautifulwomenpamperinghim.Thanks,mochroi,”headdedwhenIonagavehimthecoffee.
“You’llnotbe
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pamperedlong,Icanpromise.Sitdown,thelotofyou,”Brannaordered.“I’venearlygotthisfriedup.Whenhisbelly’sfullenoughtosettlehim,he’lldamnwellexplainwhyhedidn’tcallforme.”
“Itwasfastanddone.Iwould’vecalledforyou,forallofyou.Itwasn’t
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meinharm’sway,I’mthinking.Hedidn’tcomeformethismorning.”
“Andwhothen,whentherestofuswereasleepinourbeds?”WhenBrannawouldhaveliftedanenormousplatteroffoodtobringtothetable,Finsimplytookitfromher.
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“Sitthen,andlisten.Sit,”herepeatedbeforeshecouldsnapathim.“You’reasshakenasheis.”
Theminutethetrayhitthetable,Connorbegantoscoopeggs,sausage,bacon,toastedbread,potatoesontohisplateandintoasmallmountain.
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“Iwokeearly,andwithanedgeon,”hebegan,andtookthemallthroughitbetweenenthusiasticbites.
“Eamon?”Brannademanded.“ThesonofSorcha?Hereandnow?You’resureofit?”
“AssureasIknowmysister.Ionlythoughthim
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aboyatfirst,andinCabhan’spath,butwhenItookhishand...I’veneverfeltthelike,never.Notevenwithyou,Branna,oryouandIonatogether.Evenonthesolsticewhenthepowerwasascream,itwasn’tsobig,sobright,sofull.Icouldn’tholdit,couldn’t
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controlit.Itjustblewthroughmelikeacomet.Throughtheboyaswell,butheheldontome,ontoit.He’sarareone.”
“WhataboutCabhan?”Ionademanded.
“Itrippedthroughhim,”Finsaid.“Ifeltit.”Absently,heliftedahandtohisshoulder,wherethe
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markofhisblood,ofCabhan’sbloodscarredhisflesh.Hisheart.“Itstunnedhim,lefthim,Ipromiseyou,asshakenasyouwere.”
“Soheslitheredaway?”Boyledugintoeggs.“Likethesnakeheis.”
“Thathedid,”Connor
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confirmed.“Hewasgone,andwithhimthefog,andtherewasonlymyselfandtheboy.Thenonlymyself.But...Hewasme,andIwashe—partsofone.ThatIknewwhenwejoinedhands.Morethanblood.Notthesame,but...morethanblood.Foramoment,Icouldsee
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intohim—likeamirror.”“Whatdidyousee?”
Mearaasked.“Loveandgriefand
courage.Thefear,butthehearttofaceit,forhissisters,forhisparents.Forus,cometothat.Justalad,nomorethanten,I’dventure.Butinthatmoment,shiningwitha
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powerhehasn’tyetlearnedtoridesmooth.”
“IsitlikemegoingtovisitNan?”Ionawondered,thinkingofhergrandmotherinAmerica.“Akindofastralprojection?Butit’snotexactly,isit?It’slikethat,butwiththetimeshift,muchmorethanthat.The
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timeshiftthatcanhappenbySorcha’scabin.Youweren’tbySorcha’scabin,wereyou,Connor?”
“No,stilloutsidetheclearing.Nearthough.”Connorconsidered.“Maybenearenough.Allthisisnew.ButIknowforcertainitwasn’twhat
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Cabhanexpected.”“Itmaybehebrought
theboy,broughtEamon,”Mearasuggested.“Pulledhimfromhisowntimeintoours,tryingtoseparatehimfromhissisters,totakeonaboyratherthanamanlikethesoddingcowardheis.Thewayyousaidithappened,
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Connor,ifyouhadn’tcomealong,hemighthavekilledtheboy,orcertainlyharmedhim.”
“Trueenough.Eamonwasgame,byGod,hewasgame—wouldn’trunwhenItoldhimtorun,butstillconfused,afraid,notyetabletodrawupenoughtofightonhis
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own.”“Soyouwokeand
wentout,”Brannasaid,“youwhoneverstepafootoutofamorningwithoutsomethinginyourbelly,andcalledupyourhawk.Barelydawn?”Sheshookherhead.“Somethingcalledyouthere.Theconnection
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betweenyouandEamon,orSorchaherself.Amotherstillprotectingherchild.”
“IdreamedofTeagan,”Ionaremindedthem.“OfherridingAlastartothecabin,tohermother’sgrave,andfacingCabhanthere—drawinghisblood.She’smine,theway
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EamonisConnor’s.”BrannanoddedasIona
lookedather.“BrannaughtoBranna,yes.Idreamofheroften.Butnothinglikethis.It’suseful,itmustbeuseful.We’llfindawaytousewhathappenedhere,whatweknow.Hehidawaysincethesolstice.”
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“Wehurthim,”Boylesaid,scanningtheotherswithtawnyeyes.“Thatnighthebledandburnedaswedid.More,I’mthinking.”
“Hetooktherestofthesummertoheal,togather.Andthismorningtriedfortheboy,totakethatpower,and—”
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“Toendyou,”FininterruptedBranna.“Killtheboy,Connorneverexists?Orit’sverypossiblethat’sthecase.Changewhatwas,changewhatis.”
“Wellnow,hefailedbrilliantly.”Connorpolishedoffhisbacon,sighed.“AndIfeelnot
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onlyhumanagain,butfitandfine.It’sapitywecan’ttakethebastardonagainnow.”
“Youneedmorethanafullfryinyourbellytotakehimon.”Rising,Mearagathereddishes.“Allofusdo.Wehurthimonthesolstice,andthat’sasatisfyingthing,
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butwedidn’tfinishhim.Whatdidwemiss?Isn’tthatthethingweneed?Whatdidwenotdothatweneedtodo?”
“Ah,thepracticalmind.”
“Someoneneedstothinkpractical,”Mearatossedbackathim.
“She’sright.I’ve
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pouredoverSorcha’sbook.”Brannashookherhead.“Whatwedid,whatwehad,howweplannedit,itshould’veworked.”
“Hechangedtheground,”Boyleremindedher.“Tookthefightinggroundbackintime.”
“Andstill,Ican’tfindwhatwemightaddtoit.”
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BrannatossedaglancetowardFin,justabeat.Heonlygaveherthemostsubtleshakeofhead.“Sowe’llkeeplooking.”
“No,yousit.”IonatookmoredishesbeforeConnorcoulddoso.“Consideringyourdawnadventure,yougetapassatkitchenduty.MaybeI
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wasn’tstrongorskilledenoughlastsummer.”
“Doyouneedremindingofawhirlwindcalled?”Boyleaskedher.
“Thatwasmoreinstinctthanskill,butI’mlearning.”SheglancedbackatBranna.
“Youare,yes,andverywellindeed.You’reno
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weaklinkifthat’swhatyou’rethinking,norhaveyoueverbeen.Heknowsmorethanus,andthat’saproblem.He’slived,inhisway,hundredsofyears.”
“Thatmakeshimolder,”Mearaputin,“notsmarter.”
“Wehavebooksandlegendsandwhatwas
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passeddowngenerationtogeneration.Butheliveditall,so—smarterornot—heknowsmore.Andwhathehasisdeepanddark.Hispowerhasnorulesasoursdoes.Heharmswhohewants,nomattertoit.Thatwecanneverdoandbewhatweare.”
“Hispowersource—
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thestonehewearsaroundhisneck,wolforman.Destroyit,destroyhim.Iknowit,”Finstated,clenchedafistonthetable.“Iknowitastruth,butdon’tknowhowitcanbedone.Yet.”
“We’llfindtheway.Wemust,”Connorsaid,“sowewill.”
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FinrosewhenConnorreachedoverthetabletolayhishandonBranna’s,andjoinedtheothersacrosstheroomwiththeclatterofdishes,thewhooshofwaterinthesink.
“Worryingformewon’thelp,andisn’tneeded.Idon’thaveto
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look,”headded,“tosee.”“Andifhe’dharmed
youandtheboy,wherewouldwebe?”
“Well,hedidn’t,didhe?Andbetweenuswegavehimasolidbootintheballs.I’mhere,Branna,asever.We’remeantforthis,soI’mhere.”
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“You’reathorninmysidehalfthetime.”Herhandturnedunderhisuntiltheirfingerscurledtogetherandgripped.“ButI’musedtoyou.You’llhaveacare,Connor.”
“Iwill,ofcourse.Andthesameforyou.”
“Thesameforusall.”
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***
ITAMUSEDHIM,ANDTOUCHEDHIMWHENMEARAFELLINTOstepbesidehimasheleftthehouseforthefalconryschool.
“Areyouleavingyourlorrythen?”
“Iam.Iwanttowalkoffthatbreakfast.”
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“You’reguardingmybody.”Heslunganarmaroundhershoulders,pulledherinsotheirhipsbumped.
She’ddressedforworkatthestables,roughpantsandjacket,sturdyboots,andwithallthathairbraidedbacktohangthroughtheloopofher
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batteredcap.Andstillshemadea
picture,hethought,thedark-eyedMearawiththegypsyinherblood.
“Yourbodycanguarditself.”Sheglancedup,watchedthehawkscircleintheheavysky.“Andyou’vegotthemkeepinganeyeout.”
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“I’mgladforyourcompanyallthesame.Andthisgivesyoutimetotellmewhat’stroublingyou.”
“Ithinkamadsorcererbentonourdestruction’senoughtogoaround.”
“SomethingelsebroughtyoutoBrannalastnightandhadyoustaying
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throughit.Isitamangivingyougrief?Doyouwantmetolayhimlowforyou?”
Heflexedonearm,madeafist,shookitfiercelytomakeherlaugh.
Thenshesniffed.“AsifIcouldn’tlayanyIwantedlow—orotherwise
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—myself.”Helaughedinturn,
sheerdelight,andgaveherhipanotherbump.“I’venodoubtonthatone.Whatisitthen,darling?Icanhearthebuzzinginyourheadlikeahiveofangrywasps.”
“Youcouldstoplistening.”Butshe
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relentedenoughtoleanagainsthimamoment,sohecaughtthescentofhisownsoaponherskin.Anoddlypleasantsortofthing.
“It’sjustmymotherdrivingmehalfmad,whichisanormalenoughdayinthelife.Donal’sgothimselfagirl.”
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“SoI’veheard,”hesaid,thinkingofheryoungerbrother.“Sharon,isn’tit,movedtoCongthispastspring?Anicegirl,fromwhatI’veseen.Aprettyface,aneasysmile.Don’tyoulikeherthen?”
“Ilikeherfineandwell,andmoretothe
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pointDonal’smadforher.It’slovely,really,toseehimsotaken,andhappywithit,andherverymuchthesame.”
“Wellthen?”“He’saftermovingout
ofthehouse,andinwithhisSharon.”
Connorconsideredthatastheywalkedthrough
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theprettymorningtowardworktheybothloved.“He’s,what,twentyandfour?”
“Andfive.And,yes,pasttimehemovedoutofhismother’shouse.ButnowmymotherandmysisterMaureenhavetheirheadstogetherandhavecometothehorrible
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conclusionIshouldmovebackinwithMa.”
“Wellnow,thatwon’tdo,notforaminute.”
“Itwon’t.”Nowhersighheldrelief,asheunderstoodthesimpleandbaretruth.“Butthey’relayingitonlikecoursesofbrick.Theguilt,thepressure,thebloodylogic
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astheyseeit.Oh,Maureen’saftersayingourmothercan’tbeleftonherown,andmebeingtheonlyoneunhampered,sotospeak,itstandsIshouldbetheonetorighttheship.AndMa’srightbehindherwithshe’llhavetheroomforme,anditwouldsavemetherent,
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andhowlonelyshe’llbewithoutachickorchildaround.”
Sheshovedbothhandsinherpockets.“Buggerit.”
“Doyouwantmyopinionoronlymycondolences?”
Sheslantedalookathim,boldbrowneyesboth
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suspiciousandspeculative.“I’lltaketheopinion,thoughImayhurlitbackinyourface.”
“Thenhereitisforyou.Staywhereyouare,darling.Youwereneverhappy,notreally,untilyoumovedouttobeginwith.”
“That’swhatIwant,
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andwhatIknowIshoulddoformyselfandmysanity,but—”
“Ifyourmother’sfrettingaboutbeinglonely,andMaureen’sfrettingaboutyourmother—who’shermotheraswellI’lladd—beingonherown,whywouldn’titbeafineideaforyour
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mothertomoveinwithMaureenandherfamily?Wouldn’titbeagreathelptoMaureentohavehermotherwithher,withthechildrenandallthat?”
“Whydidn’tIthinkofthat?”MearapulledawaylongenoughtopunchConnor’sshoulder,doalittledance.“Whydidn’tI
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thinkofthatmyownself?”
“Youhadn’tgotthroughthecoursesofguilt.”Inanoldhabit,hegaveherlong,thickbraidatug.“Maureen’snorighttopushyoutogiveupyourflat,changeyourlifejustbecauseyourbrother’schanginghis.”
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“Iknowit,butIknowaswell,Ma’snexttohelpless.Shehasbeensincemyfatherleftus.Shedidherbestwithaterriblesituation,butshe’llditherherwaythroughthedays,worryherselfthroughthenightslivingallonherown.”
“You’vetwobrothers,
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twosisters,”heremindedher.“There’sfiveofyoutohelptendyourmother.”
“Thesmartonesgotwellaway,didn’tthey?It’sonlymeandDonalrighthere.ButIcanplanttheseedinMa’smindofmovinginwithMaureen.Ifnothingelse,itshouldscareMaureensilentfora
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bit.”“Thereyouhaveit.”
Heturned,asshedid,towardthestables.
Mearastopped.“Whereareyougoing?”
“I’llwalkyoutowork.”
“Idon’tneedmybodyguarded,thanks.Goon.”Sheplantedafingerinhis
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chest,gaveitalittlepush.“You’veworkofyourown.”
Therewasnoharmintheday—hefeltnoneatall.Andaftertheearly-morningclash,ConnorfeltCabhanwouldbecurledupinsomedarkcave,gathering.
“We’vefivehawk
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walksalreadybookedtoday,andmayhaveothersbeforeit’sdone.MaybeI’llseeyouonthepaths.”
“Maybe.”“Ifyoutextmewhen
you’redonefortheday,I’llmeetyouhere,walkbackwithyoutothecottage.”
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“We’llseehowitallgoes.Mindyourself,Connor.”
“Iwill.Ido.”Becausehereyebrows
haddrawntogether,hekissedthespacebetweenthem,thenstrolledoff.Looking,toMeara’smind,likeamanwithoutasinglecareintheworld
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ratherthanonewiththeweightofitonhisshoulders.
Anoptimisttothebone,shethought,envyinghimalittle.
Butshepulledherphoneoutofherpocketasshetookthepathtothestablesandherworkday.
“Morning,Ma.”And
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smilingtoherself,preparedtogiveherannoyingsisterashotrightupthearse.
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C
4
ONNORSLIPPEDTHROUGHTHEEMPLOYEES’GATEFOR
thefalconryschool.As
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always,hefeltalittleflutter—abitlikebeatingwings—inhisheart,alonghisskin.Ithadalwaysbeenthehawkforhim.Thatconnection,likehispower,camedownthroughtheblood.
He’dhavepreferredhavingsometimetowalkaroundtheenclosuresand
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aviary,greetthehawks,thebigowltheycalledBrutus,justtosee—andhear—howtheyallfared.
Butthewayhe’dstartedhisdaymeanthewasafewminutesbehindalready.Hesawoneofhisstaff,Brian—skinnyasaflagpoleandbarelyeighteen—checkingthe
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feedandwater.Soheonlyglanced
aroundtobesureallwaswellashecrossedovertotheoffices,pastthefenced-inareawherehisassistant,Kyra,keptherprettyspanielmostdays.
“Andhow’sitgoingforyoutoday,Romeo?”
Inanswer,thedog
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waggedhiswholebody,clampedagnawedblueballinhismouth,andbroughtithopefullytothefence.
“It’llhavetobelaterforthat.”
Hesteppedintotheoffice,foundKyra,herhairashortwedgeofsapphireblue,busyatthe
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keyboard.“You’relate.”Thoughshejusthitfive
foottwo,Kyrahadavoicelikeafoghorn.
“HappyI’mthebossthen,isn’tit?”
“Fin’stheboss.”“HappyIhadbreakfast
withhimsoheknowswhat’swhat.”Heknocked
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hisfistlightlyonthetopofherheadashemovedbytoadeskcoveredwithforms,clipboards,papers,brochures,aspareglove,atether,abowloftumbledstones,andotherdebris.
“We’vehadanotherbookingcomeinalreadythismorning.Adouble.Fatherandson—andthe
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boy’sjustsixteen.I’veputyouonthat,asyoudobetterwiththeteenagersthanBrianorPauline.They’refortenthismorning.Yanks.”
Shepaused,sentConnoradisapprovinglookfromherround,wildlyfreckledface.“Sixteen,andwhyisn’the
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inschool,Iwanttoknow.”
“You’resuchataskmaster,Kyra.It’saneducation,isn’tit,totraveltoanothercountry,tolearnofhawks?”
“Thatwon’tteachyoutoaddtwoandtwo.Sean’snotcomingintillnoon,ifyou’reforgetting.
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He’stakinghiswifeinforhercheckwiththedoctor.”
Helookedupatthatbecausehehadforgotten.“All’swellthere,right,withherandthebaby?”
“Wellandfine,shejustwantshimthereastheymayfindifit’sagirlorboytoday.ThatputsBrian
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ontheninewiththeladyfromDonegal,youattheten,andPauline’sathalf-tenwithapairofhoneymoonersfromDublin.”
Sheclickedandclackedatthekeyboardasshelaidoutthemorning’sschedule.Thoughshetendedtowardthebossy
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andbrisk,Kyrawasawizardatdoingadozenthingsatonce.
And—theflyinConnor’sointment—expectedeveryoneelsetodothesame.
“I’vesetyouonattwoforanother,”sheadded.“Yanksagain,acoupleoverfromBoston.
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They’vejustcomeinfromastayatDromolandinClare,andthey’rehavingthreedaysatAshfordbeforemovingon.Threeweeksholidayfortheirtwenty-fifthanniversary.”
“Tenandtwothen.”“They’vebeenmarried
longasI’vebeenalive.That’ssomethingtothink
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on.”Listeningwithhalfan
ear,hesattopokethroughthepaperworkhecouldn’tpalmoffonher.“Yourparentshavebeenmarriedlongeryet,consideringyou’retheyoungest.”
“Parentsaredifferent,”shesaid—decisively—thoughhecouldn’tsee
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how.“Oh,andBrian’s
claimingtherewasanearthquakethismorning,neartoshookhimoutofbed.”
Connorglancedup,facecalm.“Anearthquake,isit?”
Shesmirked,stillclatteringonthekeyboard
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withnailspaintedwithpinkglitter.“Swearsthewholehouseshookaroundhim.”Sherolledhereyes,hitPrint,swiveledaroundforaclipboard.“Andhe’sdecidedit’ssomeconspiracy,asthere’snotawordofitonthetelly.Afewmentions,soheclaims,ontheInternet.
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He’sgonefromearthquaketonucleartestingbysomeforeignpowerinafingersnap.He’llbealloveryouaboutit,ashe’sbeenme.”
“Andyourbeddidn’tshake?”
Sheflashedagrin.“Notfromanearthquake.”
Helaughed,wentback
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tothepaperwork.“AndhowisLiam?”
“Verywellindeed.I’mthinkingImightmarryhim.”
“Isthatthewayofit?”“Itmightbe,asyou
havetostartonrackingupthoseanniversariessometime.I’lllethimknowwhenI’vemadeup
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mymind.”Whenthephone
jangled,helefthertoanswer,wentbacktoclearingoffasectionofhisdesk.
Sosomefeltit,somedidn’t,hethought.Someweremoreopenthanothers.Andsomeclosedtightasanydrum.
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He’dknownKyramostofhislife,hemused,andsheknewwhathewas—hadtoknow.Butsheneverspokeofit.Shewas,despiteherbluehairandthelittlehoopinherlefteyebrow,adrum.
HeworkedsteadyenoughuntilBriancameinand,aspredicted,was
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fullofearthquakesthatwerelikelynucleartestingbysomesecretgovernmentagency,orperhapsasignoftheapocalypse.
HeleftBrianandKyrabattingitallaround,wentouttochoosethehawkforthefirstwalk.
Asnoonewas
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watching,hediditthequickandsimpleway.Hesimplyopenedtheaviary,lookedintotheeyesofhischoice,helduphisglovedarm.
Thehawkswoopedthrough,landed,cominginasobedientasawell-trainedhound.
“Thereyouare,Thor.
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Readytowork,areyou?YoudowellforBrianthismorning,andI’lltakeyououtlater,ifIcan,forarealhunt.How’sthatforyou?”
Aftertetheringthehawk,hewalkedbacktotheoffices,transferredhimtothewaitingperch,tetheredhimthere.
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Patient,Thorclosedhiswings,satwatchful.
“Wemaygetsomewet,”hetoldBrian,“butnotadrench,I’mthinking.”
“Globalwarming’scausingstrangeweatheraroundtheworld.Itmayhavebeenanearthquake.”
“Anearthquake’tisn’t
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weather,”Kyrastated.“It’sallconnected,”
Briansaiddarkly.“Ithinkyouwon’tsee
morethanashowerthismorning.Ifthere’sanearthquakeorvolcaniceruption,besureyougetThorbackhomeagain.”ConnorgaveBrianaslapontheshoulder.“There’s
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yourclientsnow,atthegate.Goon,letthemin,givethemtheshowaround.I’lltakeRoibeardandWilliamfortheten,”hetoldKyrawhenBrianhurriedtoanswerthegate.“ThatleavesMooseforPauline’s.”
“I’llsetitup.”“We’llhaveRexfor
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Sean.HerespectsSean,anddoesn’tyethavethesamerespectforBrian.BestnotsendhimoutwithBriyet,ontheirown.I’lltakeMerlinforthetwo,ashehasn’tbeenonawalkinafewdays.”
“Fin’shawkisn’there.”
“He’saround,”Connor
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saidsimply.“AndPaulinecantakeThoroutagainthisafternoon.BrianorSean,whoeveryouhaveforthelastsofar,cantakeRex.”
“WhatofNester?”“He’snotfeelingit
today.He’sgotthedayoff.”
Sheonlyliftedher
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beringedeyebrowatConnor’sassessmentofthehawk.“Ifyousay.”
“AndIdo.”Herroundfacelostits
smirkinconcern.“Doesheneedtobelookedat?”
“No,he’snotsick,justoutofsorts.I’lltakehimoutlater,lethimflyoffthemood.”
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Hewasrightabouttheshower,butitcameandwentastheyoftendid.Ashortpatterofrain,athinbeamofsunthroughapocketofclouds.
Bythetimehisdoublearrived,theshowerhadmovedon,leavingtheairdampandjustmistyenough.Truthbetold,he
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thoughtashetookthefatherandsonaround,itaddedtotheatmospherefortheYanks.
“Howdoyouknowwhichoneiswhich?”Theboy—nameofTaylor—ganglingwithbigearsandknobbyknuckles,putonanairofmildboredom.
“Theylookalike,the
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Harris’shawk,buttheyeachhavetheirownpersonality,theirownway.Yousee,there’sMoose,he’sabigone,sohehasthename.AndRex,besidehim?Hasakindofregalair.”
“Whydon’ttheyjustflyawaywhenyoutakethemout?”
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“Whywouldtheybedoingthat?They’veagoodlifehere,aposhlifecometothat.Andgood,respectableworkaswell.Somewerebornhere,andthisishomeforthem.”
“Youtrainthemhere?”thefatherasked.
“Wedo,yes,fromthetimethey’rehatchlings.
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They’reborntoflyandhunt,aren’tthey?Withpropertraining—reward,kindness,affection,theycanbetrainedtodowhatthey’reborntodoandreturntotheglove.”
“WhytheHarris’shawkforthewalks?”
“They’resocial,theyare.Andmore,their
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maneuverabilitymakesthemafinechoiceforawalkintheseparts.ThePeregrines—youseehere?”Hewalkedthemovertoalargegraybirdwithblackandyellowmarkings.“They’remagnificenttobesure,andthere’snofasteranimalontheplanetwhen
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they’reinthestoop.Thatwouldbeflyinguptoagreatheight,thendivingforitsprey.”
“Ithoughtacheetahwasthefastest,”Taylorsaid.
“Apollohere?”Atthename,atConnor’ssubtlelink,thefalconspreaditsgreatwings—hadtheboy
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impressedenoughtogaspalittlebeforeheshrugged.“Hecanbeatthecat,reachingspeedstothreehundredtwentykilometersanhour.That’stwohundredmilesanhourinAmerican,”Connoraddedwithagrin.
“Butforallitsspeedandbeauty,thePeregrine
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needsopenspace,andtheHarris’scandancethroughthetrees.Youseethesehere?”
Hewalkedthemalong.“Iwatchedthesehatchmyselfonlylastspring,andwe’vetrainedthemhereattheschooluntiltheywerereadyforfreeflights.Oneoftheir
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brothersisWilliam,andhe’llbewithyoutoday,Mr.Leary.”
“Soyoung?That’swhat,onlyfiveorsixmonthsold.”
“Borntofly,”Connorrepeated.Hesensedhe’dlosetheboyunlesshemovedthingsalong.“Ifyou’llcomeinsidenow,
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we’veyourhawkswaiting.”
“It’sanexperience,Taylor.”Thefather,aneasysix-four,laidahandonhisson’sshoulder.
“Whatever.It’llprobablyrainagain.”
“Oh,Ithinkit’llholdofftillneartosunset.So,Mr.Leary,haveyou
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familyaroundMayothen?”
“Tom.Ancestors,I’mtold,butnofamilyIknowof.”
“Justyouandyourboythen?”
“No,mywifeanddaughterwentintoCongtoshop.”Hegaveagrinningrollofhiseyes.
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“Couldbetrouble.”“Mysisterhasashop
inCong.TheDarkWitch.Maybethey’llstopin.”
“Ifit’sthereanditsellssomething,they’llstopin.Wewerethinkingoftryingahorsebackridetomorrow.”
“Oh,youcouldn’tdobetter.It’safineride
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around.YoujusttellthemConnorsaidtogiveyouagoodtimewithit.”
Steppinginside,heturnedtotheholdingperches.“AndherewehaveRoibeardandWilliam.Roibeard’smyown,andhe’sforyoutoday,Taylor.I’vehadhimsincehewasa
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hatchling.Tom,wouldyousigntheformsthatKyrahasreadyforyou,andI’llmakeTayloracquaintedwithRoibeard.”
“Whatkindofnameisthat?”Taylordemanded.
Thinkshedoesn’twanttobehere,Connormused.Thinkshe’dratherbeat
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homewithhismatesandhisvideogames.
“Whyit’shisname,andanoldone.Hecomesfromhawksthathuntedtheseverywoodforhundredsofyears.Here’syourglove.Withoutit,assmartandskilledasheis,histalonswouldpierceyourskin.You’retohold
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yourarmuplikethis,see?”Connordemonstrated,holdinghisleftarmupatarightangle.“Andkeepitstillaswewalk.You’veonlytoliftittosignalhimtofly.I’lltetherhimatfirst,untilwegetoutandabout.”
Hefelttheboyquiver
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—nerves,excitementhetriedtohide—asConnorsignaledRoibeardtostepontotheglovedarm.“TheHarris’sisagileandquick,asIsaid,andafiercehunter,thoughsincewe’llbetakingthesechickenpartsalong”—hepattedhisbaitingpouch—“they’llbothleaveoff
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anythoughtofgoingforbirdsorrabbit.
“Andhereforyou,Tom,isyoungWilliam.He’sahandsomeone,andwellbehaved.Heloveslittlemorethanachancetowingthroughthewoods,andhavesomechickenasarewardforthework.”
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“He’sbeautiful.They’rebeautiful.”Tomlaughedalittle.“I’mnervous.”
“Let’shaveourselvesanadventure.How’syourstayatthecastle?”Connorbeganasheledthemout.
“Amazing.AnnieandIthoughtthiswasouronce
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inalifetime,butwe’realreadytalkingaboutcomingback.”
“Sureyoucan’tcomeoncetoIreland.”
Hewalkedthemeasy,makingsomesmalltalk,butkeepinghismind,hisheartwiththehawks.Contentenough,readyenough.
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Hetookthemawayfromtheschool,downapath,tothehardpavedroadwheretherewasanopening,withtalltreesfringingit.
Therehereleasedthejesses.
“Ifyouliftyourarms.Justgentlenow,slidingthemup,they’llfly.”
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Andthebeautyofit,thatliftintheair,thatspreadofwings,nearlysilent.Nearly.Asoftgaspfromtheboy,stilltryingtoclingtohisboredomasbothhawksperchedonabranch,foldedtheirwings,andstareddownlikegoldengods.
“Willyoutrustmewith
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yourcamera,Tom?”“Oh,sure.Iwantedto
getsomepicturesofTaylorwiththehawk.With...Roibeard?”
“AndIwill.Youturn,backtothem,lookoveryourleftshoulderthere,Taylor.”ThoughRoibeardwouldanswerwithout,Connorlaidabitof
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chickenontheglove.“Gross.”“Nottothebird.”Connorangledhimself.
“Justliftyourarm,asyoudidthefirsttime.Holditsteady.”
“Whatever,”Taylormumbled,butobeyed.
Andthehawk,fiercegraceinflight,swooped
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down,wingsspread,eyesbrilliant,andlandedontheboy’sarm.
Gobbledthechicken.Stood,staredintoTaylor’seyes.
Knowingthemomentwell,Connorcapturedthestunnedwonder,thesheerjoyontheboy’sface.
“Wow!Wow!Dad,
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Dad,didyouseethat?”“Yeah.Hewon’t...”
TomlookedatConnor.“Thatbeak.”
“Nottoworry,Ipromiseyou.Justholdthereaminute,Taylor.”
Hetookanothershot,oneheimaginedwouldsitonsomemantelordeskbackinAmerica,ofthe
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boyandthehawkstaringintoeachother’seyes.“Nowyou,Tom.”
Herepeatedtheprocess,snappedthepicture,listenedtohisclientstalktoeachotherinamazedtones.
“You’veseennothingyet,”Connorpromised.“Let’smoveintothe
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woodsabit.You’llallhaveadance.”
Itnevergotoldforhim,neverbecameordinary.Theflightofthehawk,thesoarandswoopthroughthetreesalways,alwaysenchantedhim.Today,theabsolutethrilloftheboyandhisfatheraddedmore.
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Thedampair,fatasasoakedsponge,theflickersoflightfilteringthroughthetrees,theswirloftheoncomingautumnmadeitallafineday,inConnor’sopinion,totromparoundthewoodfollowingthehawks.
“CanIcomeback?”Taylorwalkedbacktothe
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gatesoftheschoolwithRoibeardonhisarm.“Imean,justtoseethem.They’rereallycool,especiallyRoibeard.”
“Youcan,sure.They’dbepleasedwithabitofcompany.”
“We’lldoitagainbeforeweleave,”hisfatherpromised.
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“I’dratherdothisthanthehorsebackriding.”
“Oh,you’llenjoythataswell,Iwager.”Connorledtheminsideatanunhurriedpace.“It’spleasanttowalkthewoodsonthebackofagoodhorse—adifferentperspectiveofthings.Andthey’vefineguidesatthe
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stables.”“Doyouride?”Tom
askedhim.“Ido,yes.Thoughnot
asoftenasImightlike.Thebest,ofcourse,ishawkingonhorseback.”
“Ohman!CanIdothat?”
“That’snotinthebrochure,Taylor.”
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“It’strue,”ConnorsaidashegentlytransferredRoibeardtoaperch.“It’snotontheregularmenu,sotospeak.I’mjustgoingtosettlethingsupwithyourdaifyouwanttogoout,haveanotherlookatthehawks.”
“Yeah,okay.”HestudiedRoibeardanother
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momentwitheyesfilledwithlove.“Thanks.Thanks,Connor.Thatwasawesome.”
“You’remorethanwelcome.”HetransferredWilliamasTaylorranout.“Ididn’twanttosayinfrontoftheboy,butImightbeabletoarrangeforhimtohavewhatwe’d
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callahawkride.I’dneedtocheckifMearacanleadyourfamily—she’sahawkeraswellasoneoftheguidesatthestables.Andifyou’dbeinterested.”
“Ihaven’tseenTaylorthisexcitedaboutanythingbutcomputergamesandmusicfor
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months.Ifyoucanmakeithappen,thatwouldbegreat.”
“I’llseewhatIcando,ifyougivemeaminuteortwo.”
HeleanedahiponthedeskwhenTomsteppedout,tookouthisphone.“Ah,Meara,mydarling,I’veaspecialrequest.”
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***
AFINETHINGITWASTOGIVESOMEONETHELINGERINGglowofmemories.Connordidhisbesttodothesamewithhisfinalclientoftheday—butnothingwouldquite
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reachtheheightsofTaylorandhisdafromAmerica.
Betweenhisbookings,hetookthePeregrines—Apolloincluded—outbeyondthewoods,intotheopenforexerciseandhunting.Therehecouldwatchthestoopwithakindofwonderthatnever
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lefthim.Therehecouldfeelthethrillofthatdivingspeedinsidehimself.
AshewasasocialcreatureliketheHarris’s,heenjoyeddoingthehawkwalks,butthosesolotimes—onlyhimselfandthebirdsandtheair—madeuphisfavoritepart
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ofanyday.Apollotookacrowin
midstoop—aperfectstrike.Theycouldbefed,Connorthoughtashesatonalowstonewallwithabagofcrispsandanapple.Theycouldbetrainedandtended.Buttheywereofthewild,andthewildtheyneededfortheirspirit.
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Sohesat,contenttowait,towatch,whilethebirdssoared,dived,hunted,andprizedthepeaceofadampafternoon.
Nofogorshadowshere,hethought.Notyet.Noteverasheandhiscirclewouldfindthewaytopreservethelight.
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Andwhereareyounow,Cabhan.Nothere,notnow,hethoughtashescannedthehills,rollingbackandawaylushandgreen.Nothingherenowbutthepromiseofrainthatwouldcomeandgoandcomeagain.
HewatchedApollosoaragain,forthejoyofit
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now,felthisownheartlift.Andknewforthatmomentalonehewouldfacethedarkandbeatitback.
Rising,hecalledthebirdsbacktohim,onebyone.
Oncealltheworkwasdone,hemadeafinalroundwiththebirdsand
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checkedonallthatneededcheckingon,thenshovedhisowngloveinhisbackpocketandlockedthegate.
Thenhewandered,ataneasystroll,towardthestables.
HesensedRoibeardfirst,pulledoutthegloveandputiton.Evenashe
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liftedhisarm,hesensedMeara.
Thehawkcircledonce,forthepleasureofit,thenswoopeddowntolandonConnor’sglovedarm.
“Didyouhaveanadventurethen?Sureyougavetheboyadayhe’llnotbeforgetting.”Hewaitedwherehewasuntil
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Meararoundedthebend.Long,surestrides—a
manhadtoadmireawomanwithlonglegsthatmovedwithsuchsteadyconfidence.Hesentheragrin.
“Andtheresheis.How’dtheboydo?”
“He’smadinlovewithRoibeard,andexpressed
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greataffectionforSpud,whogavehimagood,steadyride.Ihadtostoponceandgivethesisteragoatitorthere’dhavebeenabrutalsiblingbattle.Sheenjoyeditquitealot,butnotliketheboy.Andwewon’tbechargingthemforthefewminutesofhergo.”
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“Wewon’t,no.”Hetookherhand,swungitastheywalked,kissedherknuckleslightlybeforelettingitgo.“Thanks.”
“You’llthankmeformore,asthemistergavemeahundredextra.”
“Ahundred?Extra?”“Thathedid,ashe
judgedmethehonestsort
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andaskedifI’dgivehalftoyou.Naturally,Itoldhimitwasn’tnecessary,butheinsisted.Andnaturally,Ididn’twanttoberudeandrefuseagain.”
“Naturally,”Connorsaidwithagrin,thenwiggledhisfingersather.
Shepulledeurosfromherpocket,countedthem
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out.“Wellnow,what
shouldwedowiththisunexpectedwindfall?Whatdoyousaytoapint?”
“Isayonoccasionyouhaveafineidea.Shouldwerounduptherestofus?”shewondered.
“Wecould.Youtext
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Branna,andI’lltextBoyle.We’llseeifwehaveanytakers.It’ddoBrannagoodtogetoutforanevening.”
“Iknowit.Whydon’tyoutexther?”
“It’seasiertosaynotoabrotherthanafriend.”HemetRoibeard’seyes,walkedinsilencea
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moment.Andthehawkliftedoff,roseup,wingedaway.
AsConnordid,shewatchedthehawkforthepleasureofit.“Where’shegoingthen?”
“Home.Iwanthimclose,sohe’llflyhomeandstaytonight.”
“Ienvythat,”Meara
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saidasshetookoutherphone.“Thewayyoutalktothehawks,Ionatothehorses,Brannatothehounds—andFintoallthreewhenhewantsto.IfIhadanymagic,IthinkthatwouldbewhatI’dwant.”
“Youhaveit.I’veseenyouwiththehorses,the
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hawks,thehounds.”“That’straining,andan
affinity.Butit’snotwhatyouhave.”Shesentthetext,tuckedthephoneaway.“ButI’djustwantitwiththeanimals.I’dgomadifIcouldreadpeople,heartheirthoughtsandfeelingsasyoucan.I’dforeverbefightingto
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listen,thenlikelybepissedatwhatI’dheard.”
“It’sbesttoresisttheeavesdropping.”
Shegavehimanelbowpokeandaknowinglookoutofdarkchocolateeyes.“Iknowgoodandwellyou’vehadalistenwhenyou’rewonderingifagirlmightbewillingif
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youboughtherapintandwalkedherhome.”
“ThatmayhavebeenthecasebeforeIreachedmymaturity.”
Shelaughedherwonderfullaugh.“You’venothookedfingersaroundyourmaturityasyet.”
“I’mwithincentimetersnow.Ah,and
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here’sBoyleansweringalready.Iona’satthecottagepracticingwithBranna.He’lldragFinwithhimshortly—andseeifIonawilldothesamewithBranna.”
“Ilikewhenit’sallofustogether.It’sfamily.”
Heheardthewistfulness,swunganarm
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overhershoulders.“It’sfamily,”heagreed,“rightandtrue.”
“Doyoumissyourparentssincethey’vesettleddowninKerry?”
“Idosometimes,yes,butthey’resobleedinghappythereonthelake,runningtheirBandB,andwithMa’ssistersall
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chirpingabout.Andthey’remadabouttheFaceTime.Who’d’vethoughtit?Soweseethem,andknowwhat’swhat.”
HegavehershoulderarubastheywalkedthewindingroadtoCong.“Andtruthbetold,I’mgladenoughthey’re
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tuckedawaysouthfornow.”
“AndhereI’dbemorethangladtohavemymothertuckedawaymostanywhere,andnotforunselfishreasonssuchasyourown.”
“You’llgetthroughit.It’sbutanotherphase.”
“Anotherphasethat’s
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lastednearfifteenyears.Butyou’reright.”Shewiggledhershouldersasifshakingoffasmallweight.“You’reright.Iputabuginhereartodayabouthowshemightenjoyalongvisitwithmysisterandthegrandchildren.Andthat’sshovingthesamebug
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straightupMaureen’sarse,whichshewelldeserves.Ifthatdoesn’tstick,I’mplanningtobounceherfrombrothertosistertobrotherinhopesshelandssomewherethatcontentsher.
“I’mnotgivingupmyflat.”
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“You’dgostarkravingifyoumovedbackinwithyourma,andwhatgoodwouldthatdoeitherofyou?Donal’sdonewellbyher,noquestionofit,butsohaveyou.Yougiveheryourtime,yourear,helpwithhermarketing.Youpayherrent.”
Heonlyliftedhis
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eyebrowswhenshejerkedaway,narrowedhereyes.
“Besane,Meara.Fin’sherlandlord,howwouldInotknow?I’msayingyou’reagooddaughter,andhavenothingtofeelselfishover.”
“Wishingherelsewhereseemsselfish,butIcan’tstopwishingit.
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AndFindoesn’tchargehalfwhatthatlittlecottageisworth.”
“It’sfamily,”hesaid,andshesighed.
“Howmanytimescanyouberightononewalktothepub?”Sheshovedherhandsinthepocketsofherworkjacket.“Andthat’senoughbitchingand
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carpingfrommeforthesameamountoftime.I’mspoilingmyowngooddayatwork,andtheextrafiftyinmypocket.”
Theypassedtheoldabbeywheretouristsstillwandered,snappingphotos.“Peoplealwaystellyouthings.Whyisthat?”
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“MaybeIlikehearingthings.”
Sheshookherhead.“No,it’sbecauseyoulisten,whetheryouwanttohearitornot.Itoooftenjusttuneitallout.”
Hestuckhishandinherpockettogivehersasqueeze.“Togetherweprobablycomeaverageon
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thegraphofhumannature.”
No,shethought.No,indeed.ConnorO’Dwyerwouldneverbeaverageonanygraph.
Thenshelettheworriesandwonderinggo,walkedwithhimintothewarmthandclatterofthepub.
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ItwasConnorwhowasgreetedfirstbythosewhoknewthem—whichwasmost.Acheerycall,aflirtatioussmile,aquicksalute.Hewasthesortalwayswelcome,andalwaysathomewherehisfeetwereplanted.
Good,easyqualities,shesupposed,and
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somethingelsesheenvied.
“Yougetusatable,”hetoldher,“andI’llstandthefirstround.”
Sheskirtedthrough,foundonebigenoughforsix.Settlingin,shetookoutherphone—Connorwouldbeabitoftimeduetoconversing,sheknew.
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ShetextedBrannafirst.
Stop fussing with yourhair. We’re alreadyhere.
Thenshecheckedherscheduleforthenextday.Alessonintheringinthemorning,threeguideds—nottomentionthedaily
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mucking,feeding,grooming,andnaggingofBoyletomakecertainhe’dseentothepaperwork.Thentherewasthemarketingshe’dneglected—forherselfandhermother.Laundryshe’dputoff.
Shecoulddoabitofthewashtonightifshe
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didn’tloiteroverlonginthepub.
Shecheckedhercalendar,sawherreminderforherolderbrother’sbirthday,andaddedfindingagifttoherschedule.
AndIonawasdueforanotherlessoninswordplay.Shewas
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comingalongwell,Mearathought,butnowthatCabhanhadputinanappearance,they’dbewisetogetbacktoregularpractice.
“Putthatawaynowandstopworking.”Connorsettheirpintsonthetable.“Workday’sdone.”
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“Iwascheckingontomorrow’sworkday.”
“That’syourburden,Mearadarling,alwayslookingforwardtothenexttask.”
“Andyou,alwayslookingtothenextrecreation.”
Heliftedhisglass,smiled.“Life’sa
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recreationifyouliveitright.”HenoddedashespottedBoyleandIona.“Family’scoming.”
Mearaglancedaround.Andputawayherphone.
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A
5
GOODDAY’SWORK,APINT,ANDFRIENDSTO
DRINKITwith.InConnor’sestimation,therewaslittle
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moretowishfor.Unlessitwasahotmealandawillingwoman.
Thoughheknewtheprettyblonde—nameofAlice—tossinghimtheoccasionalglancewouldbewillingenough,hecontentedhimselfwiththepintandthefriends.
“I’mthinking,”hesaid,
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“nowthatFin’sjoinedus,youmightconsidercombiningthehawkandhorseasMearaandIdidtodayfortheYanksasaregularoption.”
Boylefrownedoverit.“We’dneedanexperiencedfalconerastheguide,andthatlimitsustoMeara.”
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“Icoulddoit,”Ionaprotested.
“You’veonlyhawkedafewtimes,”Boylepointedout.“Andneveronyourown.”
“Ilovedit.AndyousaidIwasanatural,”sheremindedConnor.
“Youhaveafinewaywithit,butyou’dwantto
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haveafewgoesonhorseback.Evenonabike,aswedowhenwe’regivingthehawkssomeexerciseinthewinter.”
“I’llpractice.”“Youneedtobe
practicingmorewithabladeinyourhand,”Mearatoldher.
“Youalwayskickmy
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ass.”“Ido.”Mearasmiled
intoherpint.“Idoindeed.”
“Ourgirlhere’saquickstudy,”Fincommented.“Andit’saninterestingidea.”
“Ifwetoyedwithit...”Boylesippedathispintandconsidered.“The
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customerswhobookedthepackagewouldneedsomeridingexperience.Thelastthingwe’dwantisaranknovicegoingintoapanicwhenahawklandsontheirarmandspookingthehorse.”
“Agreedthere.”“Thehorseswon’t
spookifItellthemnot
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to.”Ionaangledherhead,smiled.“Here’sBranna.”
She’dfussedwithherhair,ofcourse,andworearedscarfoverajacketofstrong,deepblue.Theflatbootsmeantshe’dwalkedfromhercottage.
SheranahandoverMeara’sshoulder,thendroppedintothechair
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besideher.“What’stheoccasion?”
“MearaandIsplitafinetipfromanAmericantoday.”
“Good.Soyou’llbuyyoursisterapint,won’tyou?IcoulddowithaHarp.”
“It’smyround.”Meararose.
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“She’sbeenbroodingabouthermother,”Connorsaidwhenshewasoutofearshot.“Shecoulduseafestivesortofevening.We’llhaveameal,allright,andkeephermoodup.Icoulddowithsomefishandchips.”
“Whosestomachareyouthinkingof?”Branna
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asked.“Mystomach,her
mood.”Heraisedhisglass.“Andgoodcompany.”
***
ITWASGOODCOMPANY.SHE’DINTENDEDTOHAVE
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ONEPINT,lingerabit,thengohome,startthewash,throwtogetherwhateverwasleftinthelarderforaquickdinner.Nowshe’dstartedonasecondpint,andachickenpie.
She’dleavehertruckwhereitwasatBranna’s,walkhomefromthepub.Tosssomewashin,make
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amarketlist—forherselfandforhermother.Earlytobed,andifshemadetheriseearlyenough,shecouldtossmorewashinandbedonewithit.
Marketingonherlunchbreak.Gobyhermother’safterwork—Godhelpher—doherduty.Plantafewmoreseedsaboutgoing
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offtoMaureen’s.Connorpokedherin
theribs.“You’rethinkingtoomuch.Trybeinginthemoment.It’llamazeyou.”
“Achickenpieinthepubisamazing?”
“It’sgood,isn’tit?”Shetookanotherbite.
“It’sgood.Andwhatareyougoingtodoabout
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Alice?”“Hmm?”“AliceKeenan,who’s
signalingherchurninglustacrossthepublikeoneofthoseflagpeople.”Shewavedherarmstodemonstrate.
“Aprettyface,forcertain.Butnotforme.”
Mearaputonalookof
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amazement,sentitaroundthetable.“Areyouhearingthat?ConnorO’Dwyersayingaprettyfaceisn’tforhim.”
“Wantsaringonherfinger,doesshethen?”Finasked,amused.
“Thatshedoes,andasthat’smorethanIcangive,she’snotformeto
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playwith.Butitisaprettyface.”
HeleanedtowardMeara.“Now,ifyouweretosnuggleuphere,givemeakiss,she’dthink,ah,well,he’staken,andstoppiningforme.”
“She’llhavetopine,asotherfoolishwomendo.”Shescoopedupmore
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chicken.“Mymouth’soccupiedatthemoment.”
“Youputitonmineonce.”
“Really?”Ionapushedherplateaside,leanedin.“Tellall.”
“Iwasbuttwelve.”“Justshyofthirteen.”“Justshyofthirteenis
twelve.”Shefeigned
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stabbinghimwithherfork.“AndIwascurious.”
“Itwasnice.”“HowcouldItell?”
Mearacountered.“Itwasmyfirstkiss.”
“Aw.”Ionadrewinasighingbreath.“Youneverforgetyourfirst.”
“Itwasn’this.”Connorlaughed,gave
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Meara’sbraidatug.“Itwasn’t,no,butIhaven’tforgottenit,haveI?”
“Iwaseleven.Precocious,”Ionaclaimed.“HisnamewasJessieLattimer.Itwassweet.Idecidedwe’dgetmarriedoneday,liveonafarm,andI’dridehorsesallday.”
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“AndwhathappenedtothisJessieLattimer?”Boylewantedtoknow.
“Hekissedsomeoneelse,brokemyheart.ThenhisfamilymovedtoTucson,orToledo.SomethingwithaT.NowI’mgoingtomarryanIrishman.”Sheangledover,kissedBoyle.“And
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ridehorsesallday.”Hereyessparkled
whenBoylelinkedhisfingerswithhers.
“Whowasyourfirst,Branna?”
Theminutethewordswereout,thesparklechangedtoregret.Sheknew.OfcoursesheknewevenbeforeBranna
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flickedaglanceatFin.“Iwastwelveaswell.I
couldn’tletmybestfriendgetaheadofme,couldI?AndlikeConnorforMeara,Finwashandy.”
“Thathewas,”Connoragreedcheerfully,“forhemadesurehewaswhereyouwereeverypossiblewakingminute.”
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“Notevery,becauseitwasn’thisfirstkiss.”
“Ipracticedabit.”Fintippedbackinhischairwithhispint.“AsIwantedyourfirsttobememorable.Intheshadowsofthewoods,”hemurmured,“onasoftsummerday.Withtheairsmellingoftherainand
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theriver.Andofyou.”Shedidn’tlookathim
now,norheather.“Thenthelightningstruck,aboltfromtheskystraightintotheground.”Sheremembered.Oh,sheremembered.“Theairshookwithit,andthethunderthatfollowed.Weshouldhaveknown.”
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“Wewerechildren.”“Notforlong.”“I’vemadeyousad,”
Ionasaidquietly.“I’msorry.”
“Notsad.”Brannashookherhead.“Abitnostalgic,forinnocencethatmeltsfasterthanasnowflakeinasunbeam.Wecan’tbeinnocent
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now,canwe,withwhat’scome.Andwhatwillcomeagain.So...let’shavesomewhiskeyinourteaandtakethemoment—asmybrother’sfondofsaying.We’llhavesomemusic,whatdoyousaytothat,Meara?Asongortwotonight,foronlythegodsknowwhat
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tomorrowbrings.”“I’llfetchthepub
fiddle.”Connorrose,brushedahandoverhissister’shairasheleftthetable.And,sayingnothing,gaveherthecomfortsheneeded.
Mearastayedlongerthanshe’dintended,wellpastareasonabletimeto
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thinkofdoingwashormakingmarketlists.Thoughshetriedtobrushhimoff,Connorinsistedonwalkingherhome.
“It’ssilly,youknow.It’snotafive-minutewalk.”
“Thenit’snottakingmuchofmytime.Itwasgoodofyoutostay
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becauseBrannaneededit.”
“She’ddothesameforme.Anditliftedmymoodaswell,thoughitdidn’tgetthewashdone.”
Theywalkedthequietstreet,climbingtheslope.Thepubswouldstillbelively,buttheshopswerelongsnuggedclosed,and
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notasinglecardrovepast.
Thewindhadcomeup,stirringtheair.Shecaughtthescentofheliotropefromawindowbox,andsawneedlepricksofstarsthroughthewispsofclouds.
“Didyoueverthinkofgoingsomewhereelse?”
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shewondered.“Livingsomewhereelse?Ifyoudidn’thavetodowhatneedsdoinghere?”
“Ihaven’t,no.It’shereforme.It’swhatIwantandwhere.Haveyou?”
“No.IhavefriendswhowentofftoDublin,orGalwayCity,CorkCity,evenAmerica.I’d
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thinkIcoulddothataswell.Sendmoneytomymotherandgooffsomewhere,anadventure.ButIneverwanteditasmuchasIwantedtostay.”
“Fightingacenturies-oldsorcererpoweredbyevilwouldbeanadventureformost.”
“Butit’snoGrafton
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Street,isitnow?”Shelaughedwithhim,turnedthecornertowardherflat.“Somepartofmeneverthoughtitwouldhappen.Thesortofthingthathappenedinthatclearingonthesolstice.Thenitdid,allsofierceandfastandterrible,andtherewasnothinkingatall.”
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“Youweremagnificent.”
Shelaughedagain,shookherhead.“Ican’tquiterememberwhatIdid.Lightandfireandwind.Yourhairflying.Allthelight.Aroundyou,inyou.I’dneverseenyoulikethat.Withyourmagicklikethesun,all
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butblinding.”“Itwasallofus.We
wouldn’thavebeatenhimbackwithoutallofus.”
“Iknowthat.Ifeltthat.”Foramoment,shejustlookedoutatthenight,atthevillagethathadbeenhersallofherlife.“Andstillhelives.”
“Hewon’twin.”He
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walkedheruptheopenstairstoherdoor.
“Youcan’tknow,Connor.”
“Ihavetobelieveit.Ifweletthedarkwin,whatarewe?What’sthepurposeofitallifweletthedarkwin?Sowewon’t.”
Shestoodfora
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momentbesideabasketfromwhichpurpleandredpetuniasspilled.“Iwishyou’dletFindriveyouhome.”
“Ihavetowalkoffthefishandchips—andthepints.”
“Youhaveacare,Connor.Wecan’twinwithoutyou.Andbesides
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allthat,I’musedtoyou.”“ThenI’llhaveacare.”
Hereachedup,seemedtohesitate,thengaveherbraidafamiliartug.“Youhaveoneaswell.Goodnighttoyou,Meara.”
“Goodnight.”Hewaiteduntilshe
wentin,untilthedoorclosedandlocked.
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He’dnearlykissedher,herealized,andwasn’tentirelysurethekisswould’vebeen...brotherly.Should’veskippedthewhiskeyinhistea,hedecided,ifitsocloudedhisjudgment.
Shewashisfriend,asgoodafriendashehad.He’ddonothingtorisk
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tippingthebalanceofthat.Butnowhefeltedgy
andunsatisfied.Perhapsheshould’vegivenAliceawhirlafterall.
Withsomuchhappening,somuchatstake,hecouldn’tbeeasyleavingBrannaaloneatnight—evenifIonastayedatthecottage.Andhe
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couldn’tquitefeeleasybringingawomanhomewithhim,especiallygiventhecircumstances.
Allinall,hethoughtasheleftthevillagebehindandtookthatwindingroadonfoot,itwasinconvenient.AndjustonemorereasontosendCabhanscreaminginto
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hell.Helikedwomen.Liked
conversingwiththem,flirtingwiththem.Helikedadance,awalk,alaugh.And,Jesus,helikedbeddingthem.
Thesoftandtheheat,thescentsandthesighs.
Butsuchpleasureswereonaninconvenient
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pause.Forhowmuchlonger,
hewondered,asCabhanhadstruckoutagain.
EvenashethoughtitConnorstopped.Stoodstillandquiet—bodyandmind—onthedarkroadheknewaswellasthelinesonhisownhand.Andhelistened,withall
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ofhimself.He’sthere,he’sthere.
Notfar,notfarenough—notcloseenoughtofind,butnotfarenoughfortruesafety.
Hetouchedtheamuletunderhissweater,feltitsshape,feltitswarmth.Thenhespreadhisarmswide,openedmore.
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Theairwhisperedaroundhim,aquietsongthatdancedthroughhishair,kissedalonghisskinaspowerrose.Ashisvisionspread.
Hecouldseetrees,brush,hearthewhisperofairthroughthem,thebeatingheartsofthenightcreaturesstirring,the
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fasterpulsesofthepreyhunted.Hecaughtthescent,thesoundofwater.
Andakindofsmearoverit—ashadowclingingtoshadows.Buriedinthemsohecouldn’tseparatetheshapesorsubstance.
Theriver.Beyondtheriver,aye.Though
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crossingitcausespain.Water,crossingwaterunsettlesyou.Icanfeelyou,justfeelyoulikecoldmudoozing.OnedayI’llfindyourlair.Oneday.
Thejoltburned,justalittle.Hardlymorethanaquickzapofstaticelectricity.Connordrewhimselfinagain,pulled
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themagickback.Andsmiled.
“You’reweakyet.Oh,wehurtyou,theboyandme.We’lldoworse,youbastard,Iswearonmyblood,we’lldoworsebeforewe’redone.”
Notquiteasedgynow,notquiteasdissatisfied,hewhistledhiswayhome.
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***
THERAINCAMEANDLINGEREDFORALONG,SOAKINGVISIT.GuestsofAshfordCastle—thebulkoftheirclientele—stillwantedtheirhawkwalks.
Connordidn’tmindthe
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rain,andmarveled,ashealwaysdid,atthegeartravelerspiledon.Itamusedhimtoseethemtrompalongincolorfulwellies,variousslickraincoats,bundlingscarvesandhatsandgloves,allforabitofcoolSeptemberrain.
Butamusedornot,he
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watchedthemiststhatswirledorcrawled—andfoundnothinginthembutmoisture.Fornow.
Onadampeveningwhenworkwasdone,hesatonthecottagestoopwithsomegoodstrongteaandwatchedMearatrainIona.Theirswordsclashed,sharprings
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thoughBrannahadcharmedthemtogolimpasnoodlesshouldtheymeetflesh.
Hiscousinwascomingalongwell,hejudged,thoughhedoubtedshe’devermatchthestyleandferocityofMearaQuinn.
Thewomanmighthavebeenbornwithaswordin
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herhandthewayshehandledone.Thewayshelookedwithone—tallandcurvedlikeagoddess,allthatthickbrownhairbraideddownherback.
Herboots,asbroken-inashisown,plantedonthesoggyground,thendancedoveritasshedroveIonaback,giving
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herstudentnoquarter.Andthosedarkeyes—aprizelikethegold-dustskinofhergypsyheritage—sparkledfierceassheblockedanattack.
Surehecouldwatchherswingaswordallday.Thoughhedidwinceinsympathyasshedrovehislittlecousinback,back,in
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anunrelentingattack.Brannacameout
holdingathickmugofteaofherown,satbesidehim.
“She’simproving.”“Hmm?Oh,Iona,yes.
Iwasthinkingthesame.”Placidly,Branna
sippedhertea.“Wereyounow?”
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“Iwas.Strongerthanshewaswhenshecametous,andshewasn’taweaklingthen.Strongerthough,andsurerofherself.Surer,too,ofhergift.Someofit’sus,someofit’sBoyleandwhatlovedoesforbodyandsoul,butmostofitwasalwaysinsideher,just
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waitingtoblossom.”HepattedBranna’s
knee.“We’relucky,wetwo.”
“I’vethoughtsoatimeortwo.”
“Luckyinwhowecamefrom.Wealwaysknewwewerelovedandvalued.Andwhatwehave,whatweare,was
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indeedagiftandnotsomethingtobeburiedorhiddenaway.Thetwoofthemstrikingswordsintherain?Notsoluckyaswe.Ionahadandhashergranny,andthat’satreasure.Butbeyondthat,forthemtheirfamily’s...well,fucked,asMeara’sfondofsaying.”
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“We’retheirfamily.”“Iknowit,astheydo.
Butit’sawoundthatcan’tfullyheal,isn’tit,nottohavethefullloveofthosewhomadeyou.TheindifferenceofIona’sparents,thefullmessofMeara’s.”
“Whichisworse,doyouthink?That
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indifference,whichisbeyondmyunderstanding,orthefullmess?ThewayMeara’sdaranoff,takingwhatmoneywasleftafterhebollocksedalltheyhad?Leavingawifeandfivechildrenalone,orjustnevergivingadamnallalong?”
“Ithinkeitherwould
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leaveyouflattened.Andjustlookatthem.Sostrongandfullofcourage.”
Ionastumbledback,slipped.Herasshitthesoggygrass.Mearaleaneddown,offeredahand,butIonashookherhead,setherteeth.Androlledover,sprangup.Movedin,
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swordswinging.NowConnorgrinned,
slappedhissister’sleg.“Thoughshebebut
little,sheisfierce!”“Becauseit’strue,I’ll
forgiveyouforquotingtheEnglishbardwhenI’veapotofGuinnessstewonthesimmer.”
Hismindwentdirectly
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tofood.“Guinnessstew,isit?”
“Itis,andafineroundofsourdoughbreadwiththepoppyseedsyou’refondof.”
Hiseyeslit,thennarrowed.“AndwhatwillIbedoingtodeserveit?”
“OnyournextfreedayIneedyoutoworkwith
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me.”“Iwillofcourse.”“Themagickswemade
forthesolstice...Iwassocertainitwouldwork.ButImissedsomething,justasSorchamissedsomethingwhenshesacrificedherselfandpoisonedCabhanallthattimeago.Everyoneofus
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sincehasmissedsomething.Weneedtofindwhat’smissed.”
“Andwewill.Butyoucan’tleaveusoutofit,Branna.Youdidn’tmiss,thewholeofusdid.Fin—”
“IknowIhavetoworkwithhim.Ihave,andIwill.”
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“Doesithelptoknowhesuffersasyoudo?”
“Alittle.”Sheleanedherheadonhisshoulderamoment.“Smallofme.”
“Humanofyou.Awitchisashumanasany,asDaalwaystoldus.”
“Sohedid.”Forafewmomentthey
satquiet,sidebyside,as
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swordsrang.“Cabhan’shealing,
isn’the?”Shesaiditquietly,justtohim.“Gatheringhimselfforthenext.Ifeel...somethingintheair.”
“Ifeelit,too.”Connorwatched,asshedid,thedeepgreenshadowsofthewoods.“Ashisblood,Fin
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wouldfeelmore.Istherestewenoughforthewholeofus?”
Shesighedinawaythattoldhimshe’dalreadythoughtofitherself.“Isupposethereis.Askthem,”shesaidassherose,“andI’llmakesureofit.”
Hetookherhand,
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kissedit.“Ashumanasany,andbraverthanmost.That’smysister.”
“ThethoughtofGuinnessstew’smadeyousentimental.”Butshegavehishandasqueezebeforeshewentinside.
Itwasn’tthestew,thoughChristknewitdidn’thurtathing.Buthe
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worriedabouthermorethansheknew.
ThenIonafeintedleft,spun,struckfromtheright,anditwasMearawhostumbled,slipped,andlandedonthewetgrass.
Ionaimmediatelyletoutawhoop,begantojumpincircles,sword
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raisedhigh.“Welldone,cousin!”
hecalledoutoverMeara’sstrong,throatylaugh.
Ionamadeaflourishingbow,thenonasqueak,straightenedfastastheflatofMeara’sswordslappedherass.
“Welldoneindeed,”Mearatoldher.“ButI
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could’veslicedopenyourbellywhileyouweredancingaboutinvictory.Finishmeoffnexttime.”
“Gotit,butjustonemore.”Shewhoopedagain,jumpedagain.“Thatshoulddoit.I’llputtheswordsaway,andgobragtoBranna.”
“That’sfairenough.”
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Ionatooktheswords,wavedthembothhigh,didanotherbowforConnor,thendashedinside.
“Youtrainedherwell,”ConnorcommentedasherosetowalkoverandofferMearawhatwasleftofhistea.
“Cheerstome.”“Didyouletherknock
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youdown?”“Ididn’t,no,though
I’dconsidereddoingjustthattogiveheraboost.Didn’tprovenecessary.She’salwaysbeenquick,butshe’slearningtobesneakyaswell.”
Sherubbedherass.“AndnowI’mwetwhereIwasn’t.”
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“Icanfixthat.”Hemovedinalittlecloser,reachedaroundher.Hishandstrailedlightlyoverthebuttofherwettrousers.
Warmthseepedover,through,andhishandslingered.Somethinginhereyes,hethought,somethinginthosedark,
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exoticeyes.Hecaughthimselfonthepointofdrawingherinwhenshesteppedback.
“Thanks.”Shepolishedoffhistea.“Andforthataswell,thoughIcoulduseaglassofthatwineBranna’ssofondof.”
“Thencomeinandhaveone.I’mcallingon
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theotherstocome.There’sGuinnessstewandafreshroundofbread.”
“Ishouldgoon.”Sheshiftedback,glancedtowardherlorry.“I’mallbutlivingherethesedays.”
“Sheneedshercircle,Meara.Itwouldbeafavor
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tomeifyou’dstay.”Nowshelookedover
hershoulder,asifsensingsomethingsneakingupbehindher.“Ishecomingalready?”
“Ican’tsay,notabsolutely.I’llbehopingFincansaymore.Socomeinsideandhavesomewineandstew,and
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we’llbetogether.”Theycame,asConnor
knewtheyalwayswould.Sothekitchenfilledwithvoices,thewarmthoffriendswithKathelstretchedinfrontofthelittlehearth,andgood,richstewsimmeringonthestove.
Ashe’dgethis
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Guinnessinthestew,Connoroptedforwinehimself.Drinkingit,hewatchedhisbesottedfriendgrinasIona,onceagain,replayedhermomentofvictory.
WhowouldhavethoughtBoyleMcGraffwouldfallsohard,sofully?Amanwhosaid
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little,andingeneralpaidmoremindtohishorsesthantheladies.Asloyalandtrueafriendastheycame,andabrawlerundertheself-taughtcontrol.
AndherewasBoyleofthescarredknucklesandfasttemperstarry-eyedoverthelittlewitchwhotalkedtohorses.
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“You’relookingslyandsatisfied,”Mearacommented.
“I’menjoyingseeingBoyleresembleanovergrownpuppywhenhelooksatIona.”
“Theyfitwell,andthey’llmakeagoodlifetogether.Mostdon’t.”
“Ahnow,notmost.”It
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pinchedhishearttohearhersayit,knowshefeltit.“Theworldneedsloverswhofit,orhowwouldwegoon?Tobeonlyoneofoneforalife?That’salonelylife.”
“Beingoneofonemeansbeingabletogoasyouplease,andnotfacingbeingoneoftwo,then
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endinguptheoneofonewhenitallgoestohell.”
“You’reacynicalone,Meara.”
“Andfinewithit.”Sheshothimalookunderarchedbrows.“You’rearomanticone,Connor.”
“Andfinewithit.”Shelaughed,quickand
easy,asshesetthe
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napkinssheheldonthetable.“Brannasaysit’sserveyourselffromthepotonthestove,soyou’dbestgetinline.”
“ThatIwill.”Hefetchedwineforthe
tablefirsttogivehimselfamomenttoopenabit,totesttheairforanysenseorsignbeforetheysatand
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ate,andtalkedofmagicks.Lightanddark.
Thestewwasabitofmagickitself,butthenBrannahadaway.
“God,thisisgood!”Ionaspoonedupmore.“Ihavetolearnhowtocooklikethis.”
“You’redoingwellwiththesidedishes,”
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Brannatoldher.“AndBoyle’sasteadycook.Hecanhandlethat,andyou’lldotheswordfighting.”
“Maybeso.Afterall,IdidknockMearaonherass.”
“Willshenevertireofsayingit?”Mearawondered.“IseenowI’llhavetoknockheronher
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ownadozentimestodimhervictorylight.”
“Eventhatwon’t.”Ionasmiled,thensatback.“Youdidn’tdoitonpurpose,didyou?”
“Ididn’t,no,andI’mwishingIhadsowecouldallpityyou.”
“We’llhaveatoastthen.”Finliftedhisglass.
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“Toyou,deifiúrbheag,awarriortobereckonedwith.Andtoyou,dubheasa,”hesaidtoMeara,“whomadeherone.”
“Thatwassmoothlydone,”Brannamurmured,anddrank.
“Sometimesthetruthissmooth.Sometimesit’s
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not.”“Smoothornot,the
truth’swhat’sneeded.”“ThenI’llgiveyou
whatIhave,thoughit’sbutlittle.Youhurthim,”hesaidtoConnor.“Youandtheboy,Eamon.Butheheals.Andyou,thethree,youfeelthat,asIdo.”
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“Hegathers,”Connorsaid.
“Hedoes.Gathersthedarkandtheblackaroundhim,andintohim.Ican’tsayhow,orwemightfindawaytostopit,andhim.”
“Theredstone.Thesource.”
FinnoddedatIona.“Yes,buthowdiditcome
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tohim?Howwasitimbued,howcanitbetakenanddestroyed?Whatpricedidhepayforit?Onlyheknowstheanswers,andIcan’tgetthroughtofindthem,orhim.”
“Acrosstheriver.HowfarIcan’tsay,”Connoradded,“buthe’snoton
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oursideofit,fornow.”“He’llstaythereuntil
he’sfullagain.Ifwecouldtakehimonbeforehegainsbackwhatyouandtheboytook,wewouldfinishhim.Iknowit.ButI’velooked,andcan’tfindhislair.”
“Alone?”FuryfiredBranna’svoice.“You
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wentofflookingforhimonyourown?”
“Thatslapsattherestofus,Fin.”Boyle’svoicemighthavebeenquiet,buttheangersimmeredunderit.“It’snotright.”
“Ifollowedmyblood,asnoneofyoucan.”
“We’reacircle.”Itwasn’tangerinIona’s
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voice,inherface,butadisappointmentthatcarriedasharpersting.“We’reafamily.”
ForamomentFin’sgratitude,regret,longingrosesostrongConnorcouldn’tblockitall.Hecaughtonlytheedge,andthatwasenoughtomakehimspeak.
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“We’reboth,andnothingchangesit.Aloneisn’ttheway,andyetIthoughtofitmyself.Ashaveyou,”hesaidtoBoyle.“Ashaveallofusatonetimeoranother.Finbearsthemark,anddidnothingtoputitthere.Whichofuscansay,withtruth,ifwewereinhis
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place,wewouldn’thavedonethesame?”
“I’dhavedonethesame.Connorhastherightofit,”Mearaadded.“We’dallhavedonethesame.”
“Okay.”ButIonareachedovertoFin.“Nowdon’tdoitagain.”
“I’dtakeyouandyour
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swordwithmeasprotection,butthere’snopurposetoit.He’sfoundawaytocoverhimselffromme,andI’veyettofindthewayunderit.”
“We’llworklongerandharder.”Brannapickedupherwineagain.“Allofusneededtimeaswellafterthesolstice,but
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we’venotbeenhidinginthedarklickingourwounds.We’llworkmore,togetherandalone,andfindwhateverwe’vemissed.”
“Weshouldmeetlikethismorethanwehavebeen.”Withaglancearoundthetable,Boylespoonedupmorestew.“It
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doesn’thavetobehere,thoughBranna’sfarbetteratcookingthanme.ButwecouldmeetatFin’saswell.”
“Idon’tmindthecooking,”Brannasaidquickly.“Ienjoyit.AndI’mhereoroverintheworkshopmostdays,soit’seasyenough.”
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“Easierifitwasplanned,andwecouldallgiveyouahand,”Ionadecided,thenglancedaroundasBoylehad.“So.Whenshallwesixmeetagain?”
“Nowit’sparaphrasingtheEnglishbard.”Brannarolledhereyes.“Everyweek.Atleasteveryweek
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fornow.Moreoftenifwefeelweshould.Connor’llbeworkingwithmeonhisfreedays,asyoushould,Iona.”
“Iwill.Freedays,evenings,whateverweneed.”
Therewasapausethatwentonjustabeattoolongforcomfort.
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“Andyou,Fin.”Brannabrokethebreadshe’dbarelytouchedinhalf,tookabite.“Whenyoucan.”
“I’llkeepmyschedulelooseasIcan.”
“Andallofthat,allofus,willbeenough,”Connordetermined,andwentbacktohisstew.
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H
6
EDREAMEDOFTHEBOY,ANDSATWITHHIMINTHEflickering
lightofacampfireringed
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withroughgraystones.Themoonhungfull,awhiteballswimminginaseaofstars.Hesmelledthesmokeandtheearth—andthehorse.NottheAlastarthathadbeenorwasnow,butasturdymarethatstoodslack-hippedasshedozed.
Onabranchabovethe
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horse,thehawkguarded.Andheheardthenight,
allthewhisperingsofitinthewind.
Theboysatwithhiskneesdrawnin,andhischinuponthem.
“Iwassleeping,”hesaid.
“AndI.Isthisyourtimeormine?”
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“Idon’tknow.Butthisismyhome.Isityours?”
Connorlookedtowardtheruinsofthecabin,overtothestonemarkingSorcha’sgrave.“It’sours,asitwashers.Whatdoyouseethere?”
Eamonlookedtowardtheruins.“Ourcabin,asweleftitthemorningmy
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mothersentusaway.”“Asyouleftit?”“Aye.Iwanttogoin,
butthedoorwon’topenforme.Iknowmymother’snotthere,andwetookallshetoldustotake.AndstillIwanttogoinasifshe’dbethere,bythefirewaitingforme.”
Eamonpickedupa
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longstick,pokedatthefireasboysoftendo.“Whatdoyousee?”
Itwouldhurttheboy’shearttotellhimhesawaruinovergrown.Andagravestone.“Iseeyou’reinyourtime,andIinmine.Andyet...”Hereachedout,touchedEamon’sshoulder.“You
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feelmyhand.”“Ido.Sowe’re
dreaming,butnot.”“Powerrulesthisplace.
Yourmother’sand,Ifear,Cabhan’saswell.Wehurthim,youandI,sohebringsnopowerheretonight.Howlongagoforyousincewemet?”
“Threeweeksandfive
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daysmore.Foryou?”“Less.Sothetime
doesn’tfollow.Areyouwell,Eamon?Youandyoursisters?”
“WewenttoClare,andwemadealittlecabininthewoods.”Hiseyesgleamedashelookedtowardhishomeagain.“Weusedmagick.Our
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handsandbacksaswell,butwethoughtifweusedmagickwe’dbesafer.Anddryeralso,”headdedwithaghostofasmile.“Brannaugh’sdonesomehealingaswetraveled,andnowthatwe’rethere.Wehaveahenforeggs,andthat’safinething,andwecanhunt—allbut
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Teagan,whocan’tusethearrowontheliving.Ithurtsherhearttotry,butshetendsthehorsesandthehen.We’vetradedalittle—laborandhealingandpotionsforpotatoesandturnips,grainandsuch.We’llplantourownwhenwecan.Iknowhowtoplantandtendand
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harvest.”“Cometomeifyou
can,whenyouhaveneed.ItmightbeIcangetyoufood,orblankets,whateveryouneed.”
Somecomfort,Connorthought,forasadyoungboysofarfromhome.
“Thankyouforthat,butwe’rewellenough,
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andhavecoinAilishandBardangaveus.But...”
“What?You’veonlytoask.”
“CouldIhavesomethingofyours?Somesmallthingtotakewithme?I’lltradeyou.”Eamonofferedastone,acobbleofpurewhitecuppedlikeanegginhis
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palm.“It’sjustastoneIfound,butit’saprettyone.”
“Itis.Idon’tknowwhatIhave.”Thenhedid,andreacheduptotakethethinleatherstrapwithitsspearofcrystalfromaroundhisneck.
“It’sbluetigereye—butalsocalledhawk’seye
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orfalcon’seye.Myfathergaveittome.”
“Ican’ttakeit.”“Youcan.He’syours
asIam.He’llbepleasedyouhaveit.”Tosettleit,heputitaroundEamon’sneck.“It’safinetrade.”
Eamonfingeredthestone,studieditinthefirelight.“I’llshowmy
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sisters.TheywerefullofwonderandquestionswhenItoldofmeetingyou,andhowwedroveCabhanaway.Andabitjealoustheywereaswell.Theywanttomeetyou.”
“AndIthem.Thedaymaycome.Doyoufeelhim?”
“Notsincethatday.He
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can’treachusnow,Brannaughsaid.Hecan’tgobeyondhisownborders,sohecan’treachusinClare.We’llgobackwhenwe’regrown,whenwe’restronger.We’llgohomeagain.”
“Iknowyouwill,butyou’llbesafewhereyouareuntilthetimecomes.”
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“Doyoufeelhim?”“Ido,butnottonight.
Nothere.Youshouldrest,”hesaidwhenEamon’seyesdrooped.
“Willyoustay?”“Iwill,aslongasI
can.”Eamoncurledup,
wrappedhisshortcloakaroundhim.“It’smusic.
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Doyouhearit?Doyouhearthemusic?”
“Ido,yes.”Branna’smusic.Asongfullofhearttears.
“It’sbeautiful,”Eamonmurmuredashebegantodrift.“Sadandbeautiful.Whoplaysit?”
“Loveplaysit.”Helettheboysleep
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andwatchedthefireuntilhewokeinhisownbedwiththesunslippingintothewindow.
Whenheopenedhisfistedhand,asmoothwhitestonelayinhispalm.
HeshowedittoBrannawhenshecamedowntothekitchenforher
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morningcoffee.Thesleepdazevanishedfromhereyes.
“Itcamebackwithyou.”
“Wewereboththere,solidaswearestandinghere,butbothinourowntime.Igavehimthehawk’s-eyestoneDagaveme—doyouremember
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it?”“Ofcourse.Youused
towearitwhenyouwereaboy.Ithangsontheframeofyourbedroommirror.”
“Nolonger.Iwasn’twearingit,oranythingelse,whenIgotintobedlastnight.Butinthedream,Iwasdressedand
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itwasaroundmyneck.Nowit’saroundEamon’s.”
“Eachinyourowntime.”ShewenttothedoortoopenitforKathel,returnedfromhismorningrun.“Yetyousattogether,spoketogether.Whathegaveyoucamethroughthedreamwithyou.We
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havetolearnhowtousethis.”
Sheopenedthefridge,andhesawasshepulledoutbutter,eggs,bacon,thatthestory,thepuzzleofit,andherneedtopickoverthepieceswouldnethimbreakfast.
“Weheardyouplaying.”
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“What?”“Intheclearing.We
heardyou.Himsosleepyhecouldbarelyholdhiseyesopen.Andthemusiccame,yourmusic,cametous.Hefellasleeplisteningtoyou.Didyouplaylastnight?”
“Idid,yes.Iwokerestless,andplayedfora
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bit.”“Weheardyou.It
carriedallthewaytherefromyourroom.”
Hecaughttheflickeroverherfaceasshesetbacontosizzleinthepan.“Youweren’tinyourroomthen.Where?”
“Ineededsomeair.Ijustneededthenightfora
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bit.Ionlywenttothefieldbehindthecottage.IfeltIcouldn’tbreathewithouttheairandthemusic.”
“Iwishyou’dfindawaytomendthingswithFin.”
“Connor,don’t.Please.”
“Iloveyouboth.That’sallI’llsayfor
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now.”Hewanderedthekitchenrubbingthelittlestone.“Thefield’stoofarfromtheclearingforthemusictocarry,byordinarymeans.”
Hecircledthekitchenassheslicedsodabread,asshebrokeeggsintothepan.
“We’retiedtogether.
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Wethree,thosethree.Heheardyourmusic.TwicenowI’vespokentohim.IonasawTeagan.”
“AndI’veseenorheardnoneofthem.”
Connorpausedtopickuphiscoffee.“Eamonmentionedhissisterswerejealousaswell.”
“I’mnotjealous.Well,
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alittle,Iadmit.Butit’smorefrustrated,andmaybeabitinsultedaswell.”
“Hetookyourmusicintodreams,andsmiledashesleptwhenhe’dbeensad.”
“I’lltakethatassomethingthen.”Sheplatedthebacon,theeggs
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she’dfried.Passedittohim.
“Aren’tyouhavingsome?”
“Justsomecoffeeandtoastedbread.”
“Well,thanksforthetrouble.”
“Youcanpayitbackwithanotherfavor.”Shepluckedtoastoutofthe
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toaster,droppedonepieceonhisplate,andanotheronasmallerone.“Carrythestonehegaveyou.”
“This?”He’dalreadyputitinhispocket,andnowdrewitout.
“Carryitwithyou,Connor,asyouweartheamulet.There’spowerinit.”
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Shetookhertoastandcoffeetothetable,waitingforhimtositwithher.“Idon’tknow,can’tbesureifit’ssuspicion,intuition,oratrueknowing,butthere’spowerinit.Goodmagicksbecauseofwhereitcamefrom,whenitcamefrom,whoitcamefrom.”
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“Allright.I’llhopethehawk’seyedoesthesameforEamon,andhissisters.”
***
ITWASN’TALLHAWKWALKSWITHEAGERTOURISTSORgivingtours
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toschoolgroups.Anessentialpartoftheschoolinvolvedcareandtraining.Cleanmews,cleanwaterforbaths,weightchecksandavarieddiet,sturdylean-tosforweatheringthebirdssotheymightfeeltheair,smellit.Connorpridedhimselfonthehealth,
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behavior,andreliabilityofhisbirds—thosehehelpedraisefromhatchlings,thosewhocametohimasrescues.
Hedidn’tmindcleaningthepoo,orthetimeittooktocarefullydryawetbird’swings,thehoursoftraining.
Thehardestpartofhis
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jobwas,andalwayswouldbe,sellingabirdhe’dtrainedtoanotherfalconer.
Asarranged,hemetthecustomerinafieldabouttenkilometersfromtheschool.Thefarmerheknewwellallowedhimtobringtheyounghawkshetrainedtohunttothat
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openspace.Hecalledthepretty
femaleSally,andtetheredhertohisglovetowalkheraboutandtalktoher.
“NowFin’smetthisladywhowantsyoutobehers,andhe’sevenseenyournewhomeshouldthetwoofyougetalong.She’scomingalltheway
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fromClare.Andthere,I’mtold,shehasafinehouseandafinemews.She’sdonehertrainingaswellasyouhaveyours.You’llbeherfirst.”
Sallywatchedhimwithhergoldeyes,andpreenedonhisfist.
HewatchedthespiffyBMWnavigatetheroad,
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pulltoastopbehindhistruck.
“Heresheisnow.Iexpectyoutobepolite,makeagoodimpression.”
Heputonhisowngameface,thoughhiseyebrowsroseabitwhenthewillowyblondewithafilmstar’sfacesteppedoutofthecar.
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“IsitMs.Stanleythen?”
“MeganStanley.ConnorO’Dwyer?”
ThesecondsurprisewastheYankinhervoice.Finhadn’tmentionedthateither.
“We’repleasedtomeetyou.”
Sally,asadvised,
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behavedwell,merelystandingquietandwatching.
“Ididn’trealizeyouwereanAmerican.”
“Guilty.”ShesmiledasshewalkedtowardConnor,andearnedapointortwobystudyingthehawkfirst.“ThoughI’velivedinIrelandfor
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nearlyfiveyearsnow—andintendtostay.She’sbeautiful.”
“Sheisthat.”“Fintoldmeyouraised
andtrainedheryourself.”“Shewasborninthe
schoolinthespring.She’sabrightone,I’lltellyouthat.Shemannedinnotimeatall.Hoppedright
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onthegloveandgavemealookthatsaid,‘Wellthen,whatnow?’Ihaveherfilewithme—health,weight,feeding,training.DidyouhawkinAmerica?”
“No.MyhusbandandImovedtoClare—justoutsideofEnnis—andaneighborhastwoHarris’s
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Hawks.I’maphotographer,andstartedtakingphotosofthem,becamemoreandmoreinterested.Sohetrainedme,thenhelpedmedesignthemews,theweatheringarea,getsupplies.ByhisrulesIwasn’ttosomuchasthinkaboutgettingabirduntilI’dspentatleast
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ayearpreparing.”“That’sbestforall.”“It’stakenmorethan
two,astherewasagapwhenmyhusbandmovedbacktotheStatesandwedivorced.”
“That’s...difficultforcertain.”
“Notasmuchasitmight’vebeen.Ifoundmy
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placeinClare,andanotherpassioninfalconry.IdidconsiderableresearchbeforeIcontactedFinbarBurke.Youandyourpartnerhaveaterrificreputationwithyourschool.”
“He’smyboss,but—”“That’snothowheput
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it.Whenitcomestohawksorbirdsofprey,youwanttheeye,ear,hand,andheartofConnorO’Dwyer.”Shesmiledagain,andthefilm-starfaceilluminated.“I’mprettysurethat’sadirectquote.I’dlovetoseeherfly.”
“We’rehereforthat.I
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callherSally,butifthematchbetweenyouseemsright,you’llcallherwhatsuitsyou.”
“Nobells,notransmitter?”
“Shedoesn’tneedthemhere,assheknowsthesefields,”Connorsaidashereleasedthejesses.“Butyou’llwantthem
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backinClare.”Hebarelyshiftedhis
arm,andSallylifted,spreadherwings.Soared.
Hesawthereactionhewanted,hadhopedforinMegan’seyes.Theawethatwasakindoflove.
“Youhaveaglovewithyou,Isee.Youshouldputiton,callherback
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yourself.”“Ididn’tbringabaiting
pouch.”“Shedoesn’tneed
baiting.Ifshe’sdecidedtogiveyouago,she’llcome.”
“NowI’mnervous.”Herlaughshoweditasshetookherglovefromherjacketpocket,drewit
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on.“Howlonghaveyoubeendoingthis?”
“Always.”Hewatchedtheflightofthebird,senthisthoughts.Ifyouwantthis,gotoher.
Sallycircled,dove.AndlandedprettyasacharmonMegan’sglove.
“Oh,youbeauty.Finwasright.Iwon’tgo
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homewithouther.”And,Connorthought,
shewouldnevercometohimagain.“Doyouwanttoseeherhunt?”
“Yes,ofcourse.”“Justletherknowshe
can.Doyounottalktothebirds,Ms.Stanley?”
“Megan,andyes,Ido.”Nowhersmileturned
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speculativeasshestudiedConnor.“It’snotsomethingIadmittomost.Allright,Sally—she’llstaySally—hunt.”
Thehawkrose,circledhigh.ConnorbegantowalkthefieldwithMegan,followingtheflight.
“Sowhatbroughtyou
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toIreland,andtoClare?”heaskedher.
“Anattempttosaveamarriage,whichitdidn’t.ButIthinkitsavedme,andI’mhappywiththat.Soit’sjustmeandBruno—andnowSally.”
“Bruno?”“Mydog.Sweetlittle
muttwhoshowedupat
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mydooracoupleyearsago.Mangy,limping,halfstarved.Weadoptedeachother.He’susedtohawks.Hedoesn’tbothermyneighbor’s.
“Adog’sanassetonahunt.Notthatsheneedsone.”Ashespoke,Sallydove—abulletfromagun.Astalonsflashed,
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Meganletoutalittlehiss.“Getsmeeverytime.
It’swhattheydo,needtodo.Godortheworldorwhateveryoubelieveinmadethemtohuntandfeed.ButIalwaysfeelalittlesorryaboutit.Ittooksometimeformetostopbeingsqueamishaboutfeedingthemduring
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molting,butIgotoverthat.HaveyoualwayslivedinMayo?”
“Always,yes.”Theyexchangedsome
smalltalk—weather,hawking,apubinEnnisheknewwell—whileSallyfeastedonthesmallrabbitshe’dtakendown.
“I’mhalfinlovewith
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heralready.”Meganliftedherarm,andthehawkresponded,flyingovertoland.“Someofthat’sjustexcitementandanticipation,butIthinkwe’llmakethatmatchyouspokeof.Willyouletmehaveher?”
“YoumadearrangementswithFin,”
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Connorbegan.“Yeah,Idid,buthe
saiditwouldbeuptoyou.”
“She’syoursalready,Megan.”Helookedfromthehawktothewoman.“Elseshewouldn’thavecometoyouafterherfeed.You’llwanttotakeherhome.”
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“Yes,yes.Ibroughteverything,withmyfingerscrossedforluck.InearlybroughtBrunobutthoughttheyshouldgetacquaintedbeforeacartrip.”
ShelookedatSally,laughed.“Ihaveahawk.”
“Andshehasyou.”“Andshehasme.And
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Ithinkshe’llalwayshaveyou,sowouldyoumindifItookapictureofyouwithher?”
“Ah,sureifyou’rewanting.”
“Mycamera’sinmycar.”ShetransferredSallytoConnor,dashedbacktohercar.AndreturnedwithaverysubstantialNikon.
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“That’squitethecamera.”
“AndI’mgoodwithit.Gotomywebsiteandseeforyourself.I’mgoingtotakeacouple,okay?”shecontinuedasshecheckedsettingandlight.“Justrelax—Idon’twantastudiedpose.We’llhavetheyoungIrishgodwith
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Sally,queenofthefalcons.”
AndwhenConnorlaughed,shetookthreeshots,fast.
“Perfect.Justonemorewithyoulookingather.”
Obliging,helookedatSally.You’llbehappywithher,hetoldthehawk.She’sbeenwaitingfor
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you.“Great.Thanks.”She
slungthecameraaroundherneck.“I’llemailyouthebestofthemifyouwant.”
“SureI’dlikethatverymuch.”Hedugoutoneofthebusinesscardshe’drememberedtostickinhisbackpocket.
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“Andhere’soneofmine.Mywebsite’sonit.AndIwrotemypersonalemailonthebackwhenIgotmycamera.Incaseyouhaveanyquestionsorfollow-upsabout...Sally.”
“That’sgrand.”Heslippeditintohispocket.
Shortly,afterhelping
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MegansettleSallyinhercontainerforthetrip,Connorclimbedbackinhislorry.
“That’sgrand?That’sallyouhavetosayaboutit?”Hecasthiseyestoheavenashedrove.“What’scomeoveryou,O’Dwyer?Thewomanwasgorgeous,single,
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clever,andakeenhawker.Andshegaveyouanopendoorakilometerwide.Butdidyouwalkthroughit?Youdidn’t,no.‘That’sgrand’isallyousaid,andletthatopendoorsitthere.”
Wasitsimplydistraction,theburdenofwhatheknewwouldhave
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tobedone,andthenotknowingwhenitcouldorwouldbedone?Butithadalwaysbeenthere,hadn’tit,inthebackofall?Andhadneverinterferedwithhisromanticmaneuverings.
Haditallchangedsomuchafterthesolstice?Heknewhe’dnever
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knownfearassharpaswhenhe’dseenBoyle’shandsburning,seenIonaonthegroundbruisedandbloody.Whenhe’dknownthelivesofallofthemdependedonallofthem.
Ahwell,hethought,perhapsitwasbesttostayunentangledfromthoseromanticmaneuversfora
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bitlonger.Noreasonatallhecouldn’twalkthroughthatopendooratalaterdate.
Butfornow,heneededtoswingbythebigstables,letFinknowthedealwasdone.Thenhissisterexpectedhim,asthiswas,atleastintheory,hisfreeday.
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HestoppedatthestableswhereFinmadehishomeinthefancystonehousewithahottubbigasapondonthebackterraceandaroomonthesecondfloorwherehekeptmagickalweapons,books,andeverythingelseawitchmightneed—especiallyonedetermined
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todestroyadarksorcererofhisownblood.
BesideitstoodthegaragewiththeapartmentoveritwhereBoylelived—andwhereIonawould.Andthebarnforthehorses—someforbreeding,someforuseattheworkingstablesnotfaroff.
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Someofthehorsescroppedinthepaddockbeyondtheonesetforjumpingpracticeandlessons.
HespottedMeara,whichsurprisedhim,leadingoneout.
HehoppeddownfromthelorrytogreetBugs,thecheerfulmuttwho
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madethebarnhishome,thenhailedher.
“I’dhopedtoseeFin,butdidn’texpecttoseeyou.”
“I’mfetchingRufus.Caesarwasontheslateforguidestoday,butIonasayshe’sgotabitofastrain—leftforeleg.”
“Nothingserious,I
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hope.”“Shesaysnot.”She
loopedRufus’sreinsaroundthefence.“Butweagreedtogivehimabitofrestandkeepaneye.Fin’sroundandaboutsomewhere.Ithoughtthiswasyourfreeday.”
“Itis,butIhadtomeetacustomeroverat
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Mulligan’sfarm.SheboughtSally—onefromthebroodwehadlastspring.”
“Andyou’reabitsulkyoverit.”
“I’mnotsulky.”“Abit,”Mearasaid,
andbenttogiveBugsascratch.“It’shardtoraisealivingthing,connectand
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bondwithit,thengiveittoanother.Butyoucan’tkeepthemall.”
“Iknowit”—thoughhewishedotherwise—“andit’sagoodmatch.Sallytooktoherrightoff,Icouldseeit.”
“She?”“AYank,movedherea
fewyearsago,andintends
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tostay—evenafterherhusband,nowherformerhusband,movedback.”
Meara’slipscurved;hereyebrowslifted.“Alooker,isshe?”
“Sheis.Why?”“Nowhy,justIcould
hearitinyourvoice.Livinghereabouts?”
“No,downinClare.
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Stillsqueamishoverthehunt,butagoodhandandheartwiththehawk.IthoughtI’dletFinknowwemadethedeal,thenI’mofftohometoworkwithBranna,asIpromised.”
“I’moffaswell.”Sheunloopedthereins.“Sinceyou’lltalktoBranna
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beforeIdo,tellherIona’safteratriptoGalwayCitytolookforaweddingdress,andsoon.”
“That’smonthsoffyet.”
“Onlysix,andabridewantstofindherdressbeforeshedigsintotherestofit.”
“Willtheylivethere,
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doyouthink?”Mearapausedintheact
ofmounting,glancedtowardBoyle’sroomsoverthegarage.“Whereelse?Idon’tseethemtryingtosqueezethepairofthemintoIona’sroomatthecottageforthelongterm.”
Herealizedhe’dmiss
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her—ormorethemasitwasnow.Talkoverbreakfast,conversationbeforebedwheneverthetwoofthemstayedatthecottage.
“Boyle’splaceisbiggerthanasingleroom,butsureit’snotbigwhenyouaddchildren.”
“You’rejumpingsome
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stepsahead,”Mearaobserved.
“NotforthelikesofBoyleandIona.”Idly,hestrokedthehorseashestudiedwhatFinhadbuiltforhimself—andforothersaswell.“They’llwantahouseoftheirown,won’tthey,notacoupleofroomsoveragarage.”
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“Ihadn’tthoughtofit.They’llfigureit.”SheswungontoRufus.“Fornowshe’sthinkingbridaldressesandbouquets,assheshouldbe.There’sFinnow,withAine.”
ShestudiedthebeautifulwhitefillyFinledoutofthebarn.“Soontobeabrideherselfwhen
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webreedherwithAlastar.”
“Nowhitedressandbouquetforher.”
“Butshe’llgetthestud,andforsomeofusthat’sfineandenough.”
SherodeoffonConnor’slaugh.AndhewatchedhernudgeRufusintoalopeassmoothas
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butterbeforewalkingovertomeetFin.
HisfriendcroucheddowntogiveBugsarub,smilingasthedogwaggedeverywhereandmadegrowlsinhisthroat.
Talkingtothedog,Connorknew,ashehimselfdidwithhawks,Ionawithhorses,Branna
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withhounds.WhateverraninFin’sbloodmeanthecouldtalktoall.
“Hashecomplaintsthen?”Connorwondered.
“He’sonlyhopingIdidn’tforgetthis.”Finreachedinthepocketofhisleathercoatforalittledogbiscuit.Bugssat,staredupwithsoulful
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eyes.“You’reafineboyand
there’syourreward.”Bugstookitdelicately
beforetrottingoffintriumph.
“Takeslittletopleasehim,”Connorcommented.
“Well,heloveshislifeandwouldchoosenoother.Amanwouldbe
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luckytofeelthesame.”“Areyoulucky,Fin?”“Somedays.Butit
takesmorethanahardbiscuitandabedinabarntocontentme.Butthen,Ihavemore,”headdedandstrokedAine’sthroat.
“Sureshe’sthemostbeautifulfillyI’veseeninmylife.”
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“Andknowsitwell.Butthenmodestyinabeautifulfemale’susuallyofthefalsesort.I’mafterridingherover,lettingherandAlastarganderateachother.SohowdidyoufindMegan?”
“Anotherbeautyforcertain.Theytooktoeachother,herandSally.She
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gavemethepaymentonthespot.”
“Ithoughttheywould.”Henodded,didn’tglanceatthecheckConnorhandedhim,justshoveditinhispocket.“She’llbebackforanotherinamonthortwo.”
NowConnorsmiled.“Ithoughtthesame.”
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“Andyou?WillyoubetravelingtoClaretovisitthem?”
“Itcrossedmymind.Ithinkno,andcanonlythinkIthinknobecausethere’stoomuchelsecrossingmymind.”Connorshovedfingersthroughhisbreeze-tossedhair.“Iwakeeach
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morningthinkingofit,andhim.Ineverusedto.”
“Wehurthim,buthehurtusaswell.Wenearlydidn’tgetthroughtoIonaintime.Noneofuswillbeforgettingthat.Forallwehadtogether,itwasn’tenough.Hewon’tforgetthat.”
“We’llhavemorenext
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round.I’mgoingtoworkwithBranna.”Lightly,helaidahandonFin’sarm.“Youshouldcomewithme.”
“Nottoday.Shewon’twantmeroundtodaywhenshe’sthinkingit’lljustbethetwoofyoutogether.”
“Brannawon’tlether
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feelingsgetinthewayofwhatmustbedone.”
“That’sGod’struth,”Finagreed,andswunghimselfintothesaddle.HeletAinedanceabit.“Wehavetolive,Connor.Despiteit,becauseofit,aroundit,throughit.Wehavetoliveasbestwecan.”
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“Youthinkhe’llbeatus?”
“Idon’t.No,hewon’tbeatyou.”
Deliberately,ConnorslidahandontoAine’sbridle,lookedintoFin’sstormygreeneyes.“Us.It’sus,Fin,andwillalwaysbeus.”
Finnodded.“Hewon’t
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win.Butbeforethebattle,andbitterandbloodyit’sboundtobe,wehavetolive.ImightchooseanotherlifeifIcould,butI’llmakethemostoftheoneIhave.I’llcometothecottagesoon.”
HeletAinehaveherhead,thunderedaway.
Withhismoodmixed
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andunsteady,Connordrovestraighttothecottage.ThelightfilteredthroughthewindowsofBranna’sworkshop,bouncedoverthecoloredbottlesshedisplayedthatheldhercreamsandlotions,serumsandpotions.Hercollectionofmortarsandpestles,her
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tools,thecandlesandplantsshesetaboutwereallarrangedjustso.
AndKathelsprawledinfrontofherworkcounterlikeaguardwhileshesatatit,hernoseinthethickbookheknewtohavebeenSorcha’s.
Thefireinthehearthsimmered,asdid
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somethinginapotonherworkstove.
Anotherbeauty,hethought—itseemedhewassurroundedbythem—withherdarkhairpulledbackfromherface,hersweaterrolledupatthesleeves.Hereyes,grayasthesmokepuffingfromthechimney,liftedtohis.
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“Thereyouare.Ithoughtyou’dbeherelongbeforethis.Halftheday’sgone.”
“Ihadthingstoseeto,asItoldyouclearenough.”
Herbrowslifted.“What’sbittenyourarse?”
“Atthemoment,youare.”
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No,hismoodwasn’tmixed,herealized.Ithadtippedovertofoul.Hestalkedtothejaronthecounterbesidethestove.Therewerealwaysbiscuits,andhewasslightlymollifiedtofindthesoft,chewyonessherolledincinnamonandsugar.
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“I’mherewhenIcouldgethere.Ihadthehawksaletodealwith.”
“Wasitafavoriteofyours—Nevermind,theyallare.Youhavetoberealistic,Connor.”
“I’mbloodyrealistic.Isoldthehawk,andthebuyerwasbeautiful,available,andinterested.
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I’mbloodyrealisticenoughtoknowIhadtocomebackhereforyouandthis,elseI’dbehavingmyselfagoodshag.”
“Ifashag’ssobleedingimportant,gogetitdone.”Eyesnarrowed,shefiredrightbackathim.“I’dratherworkalonethan
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withyoupacingabouthornyandbitter.”
“It’sthatitwasn’tsobleedingimportant,hasn’tbeensobleedingimportantsincebeforethesolsticethatworriesme.”Hestuffedonecookieinhismouth,waggedtheotherintheair.
“I’mmakingyousome
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tea.”“Idon’twantany
fuckingtea.Yes,Ido.”Hedroppeddownontooneofthestoolsatherworkcounter,rubbedKathelwhenthedoglaidhisgreatheadagainstConnor’sleg.“It’snottheshagorthewomanorthehawk.It’sallofit.Allof
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this.Allofit,andIletitbitemeinthearse.”
“SomedaysIwanttoclimbupontheroofandscream.Screamateveryoneandeverything.”
Calmer,Connorbitintothesecondbiscuit.“Butyoudon’t.”
“Notsofar,butitcouldcometoit.We’llhave
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sometea,thenwe’llwork.”
Henodded.“Thanks.”Shetrailedherfingers
overhisbackasshewalkedaroundhimtothestove.“We’llhavegooddaysandbaduntilit’sdone,butuntilit’sdonewehavetoliveasbestwecan.”
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Hestaredatthebackofherheadassheputonthekettle,anddecidednottotellherFinhadsaidtheverysame.
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H
7
ETHOUGHTTOGOTOTHEPUB.HEWASTIREDOFmagicks,of
spells,ofmixingpotions.
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Hewantedsomelight,somemusic,someconversationthatdidn’tcenteronthewhiteortheblack,ortheendofallheknew.
Theendofallheloved.Andmaybe,just
maybe,ifAlicehappenedtobeabout,he’dseeifshewasstillwilling.
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Amanneededadistraction,didn’the,whenhisworldhunginthebalanceofthings?Andsomefun,somewarmth.Thelovely,lovelysoundofawomanmoaningunderhim.
Mostofall,amanneededanescapewhenthethreemostimportant
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womeninhislifedecidedtohaveawedding-planninghenparty—notatermhe’duseintheirhearingifhevaluedhisskin—inhishome.
Buthe’dnomorethanwalkedoutsidewhenherealizedhedidn’twantthepuborthecrowdorAlice.Sohepulledouthis
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phone,textedFinonhiswaytohislorry.
House full of womenand wedding talk. Ifyou’re there, I’m comingover.
He’dnomorethanstartedtheenginewhenFintextedback.
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Come ahead, you poorbastard.
Onahalflaughhepulledawayfromthecottage.
Itwoulddohimgood,Connordecided,aftermostofadayhuddledwithhissisteroverspellbooksandbloodmagicks
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tobeinaman’shouse,inmalecompany.SuretheycoulddragBoyledownaswell,haveafewbeers,maybeplayabitofsnookerinwhathethoughtofasFin’sfunroom.
Justtheantidotetoalongandnotquitesatisfyingday.
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Hetookthebackroad,windingthroughthethickgreenwoodsonaneveninggonesoftanddusky.Hesawafoxslinkintothegreen,aredblurwithitskillstilltwitchinginitsjaws.
Naturewasasfullofcrueltyasofbeauty,heknewalltoowell.
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Butforthefoxtosurvive,thefieldmousedidn’t.Andthatwasthewayofthings.Forthemtosurvive,Cabhancouldn’t.Sohewho’dneverwalkedintoafightifhecouldtalkhiswayoutofone,hadneverdeliberatelyharmedanyone,wouldkillwithouthesitationorguilt.
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Wouldkill,headmitted,withaterriblekindofpleasure.
Buttonighthewouldn’tthinkofCabhanorkillingorsurviving.Tonightallhewantedwashismates,abeer,andmaybeabitofsnooker.
LessthanahalfkilometerfromFin’s,the
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lorrysputtered,bucked,thendiedaltogether.
“Well,fuckme.”Hehadpetrol,ashe’d
filledthetankonlythedaybefore.Andhe’dgiventhelorryagoodgoing-over—enginetoexhaust—barelyamonthbefore.
Sheshouldberunning
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smoothassilk.Muttering,hepulleda
torchfromthegloveboxandclimbedouttoliftthebonnet.
Heknewathingortwoaboutengines—asheknewathingortwoaboutplumbing,aboutcarpentryandbuilding,andelectricalwork.Ifthe
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hawkshadn’ttakenhimheartandmind,hemighthavestartedhisownbusinessasamanofallwork.
Still,theskillscameinhandyintimessuchasthese.
Heplayedthelightovertheengine,checkedthebatteryconnection,the
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carburetor,flickedahandtohavethekeyturnintheignition,studiedtheengineasitattemptedtoturnoverwithanannoyingandpuzzlinggrind.
Hecouldn’tseeasinglethingamiss.
Ofcourse,hecouldhavesolveditallwith
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anotherflickofhishandandbeenonhiswaytomates,beer,andpossiblysnooker.
Butitwasamatterofpride.
Sohecheckedtheconnectionsonthefuelpump,recheckedtheconnectiononthebattery,anddidn’tnoticethefog
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swimminginalongtheground.
“Wellit’sabloodymystery.”
Hestartedtospreadhishandsovertheengine,doakindofscan—acompromisebeforegivingupcompletely.
Andfeltthedirtysmudgeontheair.
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Heturnedslowly,sawthathewadedankledeepinthefogthatwenticywithhismovement.Shadowsdrewin,darkcurtainsthatblockedthetrees,theroad,theworld.Eventheskyvanishedbehindthem.
Hecameasaman,theredstonearoundhisneck
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glowingagainstthethickandsuddendark.
“Alone,youngConnor.”
“Asyouare.”Spreadinghishands,
Cabhanonlysmiled.“I’veacuriosity.Youhavenoneedforamachinesuchasthattotravelfromoneplacetoanother.You
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haveonlyto...”Cabhanswunghis
armsout,liftedthem.Andmovedtwofeetcloserwithoutvisiblymovingatall.
“Suchaswerespectourgift,ourcraft,toomuchtouseitforpettyreasons.I’velegsforwalkingor,ifneedsbe,a
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lorryorahorse.”“Yethereyouare,
aloneontheroad.”“I’vefriendsand
familycloseby.”Thoughwhenhetested,hefoundhecouldn’tquitereachthem—couldn’tpushthroughthethickwalloffog.“Whathaveyou,Cabhan?”
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“Power.”Hespokethewordwithakindofgreedyreverence.“Powerbeyondyourken.”
“Andahovelbeyondtherivertohidein,alone,inthedark.I’lltakeawarmfire,thelightofit,andapintwiththosefriendsandfamily.”
“You’retheleastof
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them.”Pitydrippedlikesullenrain.“Youknowit,astheydo.Goodforalaughandthelabor.Buttheleastofthethree.Yourfatherknewenoughtopasshisamulettoyoursister—toagirloverhisonlyson.”
“Doyouthinkthatmakesmeless?”
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“Iknowit.Whatdoyouwear?Givenyoubyanaunt,asconsolation.Evenyourcousinfromawayhasmorethanyou.Youhaveless,areless,akindofjester,evenaservanttotheothersyoucallfamily,youcallfriends.YourgreatfriendFinbarchoosesonewith
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nopoweroveryouaspartner,whileyoulaborforwagesathiswhim.You’renothing,andhaveless.”
Heeasedcloserashespoke,andtheredstonethrobbedlikeapulse.
“I’mmorethanyouknow,”Connorreplied.
“Whatareyou,boy?”
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“I’mConnor,oftheO’Dwyers.I’mofthethree.I’madarkwitchofMayo.”Connorlookeddeepintotheblackeyes,sawtheintent.
“Ihavefire.”Hethrewhisrighthandout,heldaswirlingballoffire.“AndIhaveair.”Stabbedafingerup,twirledit,and
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createdasmall,whirlingcyclone.“Earth,”hesaidasthegroundtrembled.“Water.”
Rainspilleddown,hotenoughtosizzleontheground.
“Andhawk.”Roibearddivedwitha
piercingcall,andlandedsoftasafeatheron
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Connor’sshoulder.“Parlortricksand
pets.”Cabhanraisedhisarmshigh,fingersspreadwide.Theredgemwentbrightasblood.
LightningslappedthegroundinchesfromConnor’sboots,andwithitcametheacridstinkofsulfur.
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“Icouldkillyouwithathought.”Cabhan’svoiceboomedovertheroarofthunder.
Idon’tthinkso,Connordecided,andonlycockedhishead,smiled.
“Parlortricksandpets?Ibringfire,water,earth,andair.Testmypowersifyoudare.Thehawkis
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mineforalltime.Heandmeaspartofthethreewillfulfillourdestiny.Lightismysword,rightismyshield,aslongagomypathwasrevealed.Iacceptitwillingly.”
Hestruckoutthen,withtheswordformedfromtheballoffire,cleavedtheairbetween
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them.Hefelttheburn—abolt,abladesearacrossthebicepsofhisleftarm.
Ignoringit,headvanced,swungagain,hairflyinginthecycloneofair,swordblazingagainstthedark.
Andwhenhesliceditdown,Cabhanwasgone.
Theshadowslifted,the
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fogcrawledaway.“AsIwill,”Connor
murmured,“somoteitbe.”
Heletoutabreath,drewinanother,tastedthenight—sweetanddampandgreen.Heheardanowlhootonalong,inquisitivenoteandtherustleofsomething
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hurryingthroughthebrush.
“Wellnow.”Foramoment,Roibeardleanedin,andtheircheeksmet,held.“Thatwasinteresting.Whatdoyouwagermylorrystartsupeasyasyouplease?I’mofftoFin’s,soyoucangoaheadwithmethereand
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haveavisitwithhisMerlin,orgobackhome.It’syourchoice,modearthair.”Withyou.Connor
heardtheanswerinhisheartasmuchashishead.Alwayswithyou.
Roibeardroseintotheairandwingedahead.
Stillthrobbingwiththe
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echoesofpower—darkandlight—Connorgotbackinthelorry.Itstartedeasy,purred,anddrovesmoothlytherestofthewaytoFin’s.
Hewalkedstraightin.Afirecrackledinthehearth,andthatwaswelcome,butnoonesprawledonthesofawith
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abeerattheready.Asathomethereashe
wasinhisowncottage,hestartedtowardtheback,andheardvoices.
“Ifyouwanthotmeals”—Boyle—“marrysomeonewho’llmakethem.”
“WhywouldIdothatwhenIhaveyouso
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handy?”“AndIwashappy
enoughinmyownplacemakingdowithasandwichandcrisps.”
“AndI’veafinehunkofporkinthefridge.”
“Whyareyoubuyingafinehunkofporkwhenyoudon’tknowwhatinbloodyhelltodowithit?”
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“Whywouldn’tI,again,whenIhaveyousohandy?”
Thoughhisheadachedabit,likeatoothgoingbad,theexchangemadeConnorchuckleashecontinuedback.
Strange,hefelthe’dalreadyhadthatbeer.Quitealotofbeer,ashe
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seemedtobefloatingrightalong,butonafloortiltedjustabitsideways.
Hesteppedintothekitchenwherethelightsburnedsobrighttheymadehimblink,madehisheadpoundinsteadofache.“Icoulddowithahunkofpork.”
“There,yousee?”
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Grinning,Finturned—andthegrinfellawayagain.“Whathappened?”
“Ihadalittleconfrontation.Jesus,it’shotasAfricainhere.”
Hestruggledoutofhisjacket,weavingalittle,thenstaredathisleftarm.“Lookatthat,willyou.Myarm’ssmoking.”
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Whenhepitchedforward,hisfriendsleapedtocatchhim.
“Whatthefuckisthis?”Boyledemanded.“He’sburningup.”
“It’shotinhere,”Connorinsisted.
“It’snot.It’sCabhan,”Finbitofftheword.“Icansmellhim.”
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“Letmegethisshirtoff.”
“Thegirlsarealwayssayingthattome.”
Impatient,FinmerelyjerkedahandoverConnor,andhadhimbare-chested.
Connorstaredathisarm,atthehugeblackburn,thepeelingand
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bubblingskin.Hefeltoddlydetachedfromitall,asifhelookedatsomelittlewonderbehindglass.
“Wouldyoulookatthat?”hesaid,andpassedout.
Finpressedhishandstotheburn.Despitethepainthatscorchedthroughhim,heheldthemthere.
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Heldtheburningback.“Tellmewhattodo,”
Boyledemanded.“Gethimwater.Ican
stopitfromspreading,but...WeneedBranna.”
“I’llgogether.”“It’lltaketoolong.Get
himwater.”Closinghiseyes,Fin
opened,reachedout.
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Connor’shurt.Come.Comequickly.
“Water’snotgoingtohelp.”StillBoylekneltdown.“Eitherofyou.It’sburningyourhands.Iknowwhatthat’slike.”
“Andyouknowitcanbefixed.”SweatpoppedoutonFin’sface,raninathinriverdownhisback.
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“Ican’tknowhowfarthismighttakehimifIdon’tholdit.”
“Ice?He’sonfire,Fin.Wecanputhiminatubofice.”
“Naturalmeanswon’thelp.Inmyworkshop.Get—Noneed,”hesaidwithreliefasBrannaandIona,withawild-eyed
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Mearabetweenthem,poppedintothekitchen.
BrannadroppeddowntoConnor.
“Whathappened?”“Idon’tknow.Cabhan
forcertain,butthat’sallIknow.He’sfeverish,abitdelirious.Theburnundermyhandsisblack,deep,it’stryingtospread.I’m
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holdingit.”“Letmeseeit.Letme
doit.”“I’mholdingit,
Branna.Icoulddomore,butnot,Ithink,all.Youcan.”Hesethisteethagainstthepain.“Iwon’tlethimgo,notevenforyou.”
“Allright.Allright.
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ButIneedtoseeit,feelit,knowit.”Sheclosedhereyes,drewupallshehad,laidherhandsoverFin’s.
Hereyesopenedagain,filledwithtears,forthepainunderherhandswasunspeakable.
“Lookatme,”shemurmuredtoFin.“Hecan’t,soyoulookforhim.
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Beforhim.Feelforhim.Healforhim.Lookatme.”Hereyesturnedthegrayoflakewater,calm,socalm.
“Iona,putyourhandsovermine,givemewhatyoucan.”
“EverythingIhave.”“It’scool,doyoufeel
thecool?”Brannasaidto
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Fin.“Ido.”“Coolandclear,this
healingpower.Itwashesawaythefire,floodsouttheblack.”
WhenConnorbegantoshiver,andtomoan,Mearadroppeddown,pillowedhisheadinherlap.“Shhnow.”Gently,
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gently,shestrokedhishair,hisface.“Shhnow.We’reherewithyou.”
SweatpoureddownConnor’sface—andrandownFin’s.
Branna’sbreathinggrewshallowasshetookinsomeoftheheat,someofthepain.
“I’mholdingit,”Fin
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saidbetweenhisteeth.“Notalonenow.
Healinghurts—it’sthepriceofit.Lookatme,andletitgowithme.Outofhimwebothlove,slowly,coolly,outofhim,intoyou,ontome.Outofhim,intoyou,ontome.Outofhim,intoyou,ontome.”
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Sheallbuthypnotizedhim.Thatface,thoseeyes,thatvoice.Andthegradualliftingofthepain,thecoolingoftheburn.
“Outofhim,”shecontinued,rocking,rocking.“Intoyou,ontome.Andaway.Away.”
“Lookatme.”Nowhetoldherashefelther
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handsbegintotrembleoverhis.“We’renearlythere.Boyle,inmyworkroom,abrownapothecarybottlewithagreenstopper,topshelfbehindmyworkbench.”
Gently,heeasedhishandsbacksotheycouldseethewound.Theburn,rawandrednow,wasno
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largerthanawoman’sfist.“He’scooler,”Meara
said,stroking,stroking.“Clammynow,butcooler,andbreathingsteady.”
“There’snoblackunderit,nopoisonunderit.”IonalookedfromBrannatoFinandbackforconfirmation.
“No,it’sbutanasty
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burnnow.I’llfinishit.”Brannaputherhandsoverit,sighed.“Justaburnnow,healingwell.”
“This?”Boylerushedinwiththebottle.
“That’sit.”Fintookit,openingitforBrannatosniff.
“Yes,yes,that’sgood.That’sperfect.”She
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turnedupherhandsforFintopourthebalmintothem.
“Herenow,mochroi.”Sheturnedherhandsover,gently,gentlyrubbedthebalmontheburn—nowpink,nowshrinking.
Assherubbed,asshecrooned,Connor’seyesflutteredopen.Hefound
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himselfstaringupintoMeara’spalefaceandtearyeyes.
“What?WhyamIonthefloor?Ihadn’tgottendrunkyet.”Hereachedup,brushedatearfromMeara’scheek.“Don’tcry,darling.”Hestruggledtositup,teeteredabit.“Well,hereweallare,
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sittingonFin’skitchenfloor.Ifwe’regoingtospinthebottle,I’dliketobetheonetoemptyitfirst.”
“Water.”Boylepusheditonhim.
Hedranklikeacamel,pusheditback.“Icoulddowithstronger.Myarm,”heremembered.“It
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wasmyarm.Looksfinenow.”
AndseeingBranna’sface,heopenedhisarmstoher.“Youtendedme.”
“Afteryouscaredfivelivesoutofme.”Sheheldontight,tightuntilshecouldtrustherself.“Whathappened?”
“I’lltellyou,but—
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Thanks.”HetooktheglassBoyleoffered,drank.Winced.“Jesus,it’sbrandy.Can’tamangetawhiskey?”
“It’sbrandyforfainting,”Boyleinsisted.
“Ididn’tfaint.”Bothmortifiedandinsulted,ConnorpushedtheglassbackatBoyle.“Ifell
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unconsciousfrommywounds,andthat’sentirelydifferent.I’dratherawhiskey.”
“I’llgetit.”MearascrambledupasIonaleanedover,pressedakisstoConnor’scheek.
“Yourcolor’scomingback.Youweresopale,andsohot.Pleasedon’t
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everdothatagain.”“Icanpromisetodo
mybestnevertorepeattheexperience.”
“Whatwastheexperience?”Brannademanded.
“I’lltellyou,allofit,butIswearonmylifeI’mstarving.Idon’twanttobeaccusedoffainting
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againifIpassoutfromhunger.I’mlight-headedwithit,God’struth.”
“I’veahunkofpork.Raw,”Finbegan.
“Youhaven’tputanydinneron?”Brannapushedtoherfeet.
“IwasthinkingBoylewouldcookitup,thenConnorcamein.We’ve
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beenabitbusywiththisandthatsince.”
“Youcan’tcookupporkinafingersnap.”
Fintriedasmile.“Youcould.”
“Oh,saveyourshaggingpork,andgetmeaplatter.”
“Thatsortofthing’sinthe—”Fingestured
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towardthelargediningareaoffthekitchenwithitsmassivebuffetsandchinacabinetsandservers.
Shemarchedin,yankedopenacoupleofdrawers.AndfoundalargeBelleekplatter.Aftermovinganicearrangementofhothouse
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lilies,shesettheplatterinthecenterofthetable.
“It’safrivoloususeofpower,butIcan’thavemybrotherstarvingtodeath.AndsinceIhadalreadyroastedachickenwithpotatoesandcarrotstonight.So.”
Sheshotthefingersofbothhandsattheplatter.
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Andtheairwentredolentwiththescentsofroastedchickenandsage.
“Thankallthegodsandgoddesses.”Withthat,Connordivedstraightin,rippedoffadrumstick.
“ConnorO’Dwyer!”“Starving,”hesaid
withhismouthfullasBrannafistedherhands
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onherhips.“I’mseriousaboutit.What’severyoneelseeating?”
“Someonesetthetable,forGod’ssake.Ineedtowashup.”SheturnedtoFin.“Haveyouapowderroom?”
“I’llshowyou.”She’dneverbeeninhis
home,hethought.Not
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oncewouldsheagreetocrossthethreshold.Ithadtakenherbrother’sneedtohaveherstepfootinit.
Heshowedherthepowderroomtuckedtidilyunderthestairs.
“Letmeseeyourhands.”Sheheldherselfverystraightwhilethevoicesandgood,easy
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laughterflowedfromthekitchen.
Heheldthemout,theirbacksup.Withasighofimpatience,shegrippedthemandturnedthemover.
Blisteredpalms,weltsalonghisfingers.
“Thebalmwilltakecareofit.”
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“Stop.”Shelaidherhands—
herpalmstohispalms,herfingerstohisfingers.
“I’mgoingtothankyou.Iknowyoudon’twantorneedthanks.Iknowhe’syourbrotherasmuchasmine.Thebrotherofyourheart,yourspirit.Buthe’smyblood,
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soIneedtothankyou.”Tearstrembledinher
eyesagain,aglimmeroverthesmoke.Thenshewilledthembackandgone.“Itwasverybad,verybadindeed.Ican’tbesurehowmuchworseitmighthavebeenifyouhadn’tdoneforhimwhatyoudid.”
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“Ilovehim.”“Iknowit.”She
studiedhishands,healednow,thengavethembothamoment.Sheliftedhishands,pressedthemtoherlips.“Iknowit,”shesaidagain,andslippedinsidethepowderroom.
AsdeepandtrueashisloveranforConnor,it
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wasashadowbesidewhathefeltforher.Acceptingit,Finwalkedbacktothekitchen,watchedhiscirclepreparefortheirfirstmealtogetherinhishome.
***
“WHYDIDN’TYOUCALLUS?”
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BRANNAASKEDWHENTHEY’DsettledinwiththefoodandConnor’stale.
“Idid—ortried.Therewassomethingdifferentintheshadows,inthefog.Itwas...likebeingclosedintoabox,tight,sotherewasnothingelse,notevensky.Idon’tknowhowRoibeardheardmeorgot
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throughunlesshewasalreadyinsidethebox,sotospeak.ThestoneCabhanworebeatlikeaheart,andthebeatsofitcamefasterwhenIcalledtheelements.”
“Intunewithhim?”Finwondered.“Showingexcitement,temper,fear?”
“Idon’tthinkfear,as
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hethinkssolittleofme.”“Bollocks.”Meara
stabbedacarrot.“Hewasmind-fuckingyousoyou’dthinklittleofyourself.”
“She’srightonthat,”Boyleagreed.“Tryingtogetunderyourskin,hewas.Weakenyourdefenses.It’sacommon
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enoughtacticinabrawl.”“Isawyoubrawl
once.”Ionathoughtback,smiled.“Youdidn’tsaymuch.”
“BecauseIwaspunchingthestupid.Butifyou’rethinkingyouropponent’sgotskills,maybeevenbetterthanyours,mind-fucking,as
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ourMearaputit,it’sagoodtactic.”
“Whatthebastardthinksofmeeitherwayisn’tsomethingIworrymyselfabout.”Contentenoughnow,Connorshoveledinpotatoes.“Thelightningstrikegavemeajolt,Iconfess.”
“Hedidn’tstrikeyou
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becauseyouhavetheamulet,andthat’sprotection,”Brannaconsidered.“Andbecausehewantswhatyouhavemorethanyourdeath.Hetriedtoundermineyourconfidence,andputbadfeelingsbetweenyouandme,betweenyouandFin.”
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“Hefailedonallcounts.Andhere’sthething.WhenIstruckathim,thestoneglowedbrighter,butthen—Ifeltsomethingburn—nothinglikeitcametobe,butaquickburning.Andthegem,itdimmedafterthat.DimmedconsiderablejustasIstruckoutagain,just
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beforehevanished,andtheshadowswithhim.”
“Whathedidtoyoutookconsiderablefromhim.”BrannaranherhanddownConnor’sarm.“Tocloseyouin,thencauseyouharm,to,well,showoffforyouaswell.Itcosthim.”
“IfI’dbeenabletocall
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you,ifwe’dallbeenthere.”
“Idon’tknow,”Brannamused.
“Wedoknowhewasn’twillingtoriskit.He’snotreadytotakeusallonagain,orhasn’ttheballsforit.”Finlookedaroundthetable.“Andthere’savictory.”
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“Hewasn’tweak,I’lltellyouthat.Icouldfeelitpumpingoutofhim.Thedark,andthehungerofit.Ididn’tseehimstrike,andwouldswearhenevertouchedme.Yet,Ifeltthatburn.”
“Neitheryourjacketorshirtwerescorched.Butyourshirt?”Boyle
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gesturedwithhisfork.“Smokecamethroughitfromtheburnonyourarm.Yetyou’rewearingitnow,andthere’snomarkonit.”
“That’sgrand,asI’mfondofthisshirt.”
“Hestayedasaman,”Mearaadded.“Becausehedidn’tchoosetousehis
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powerforthechange?HeneededallhehadtohurtConnor.IfFinhadn’tkeptitfromspreadinguntilBrannagothere,itwould’vebeenfarworse—isthatright?”
“Muchworse,”Brannaconfirmed.
“Andworse,muchworse,wouldhavetaken
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morefromyou—fromthethree.He’sstudiedyouallyourlives,onewayoranother,sosurelyheknewBrannawouldcome,andshe’dputallshehadintohealingConnor—thatIonawouldaddwhatshecould.Butthatmuchworsemight’veputConnordownforadayor
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two,depletedthethreeofyou.Hewantedthat,riskedthat.Buthedidn’tcountonFin,”Mearaexplained.
“Iwasnearlyhere,”Connorpointedout.“Hehadtosussitouthere’swhereI’dcome.”
Impatient,Brannashookherhead.“He’s
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watchedyou,studiedyou,buthedoesn’tunderstandFinatall.Notatall.Hecan’tseebeyondthebloodsharedbetweenthem.ThatIwouldbecalledandcome,yes,butthatFinwouldtakethepain,therisk,theburningtostopthespread?Hedoesn’tknowyouatall,”
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shesaidtoFin.“Heneverwill.Intheend,thatmightbehisundoing.”
“Hedoesn’tunderstandfamily,andbecausehedoesn’tunderstand,hedoesn’trespect.Hewon’twinthis,”Connorsaid,andhelpedhimselftomorepotatoes.
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***
AFTERTHEMEALANDTHECLEARINGUP,CONNORDROVEBrannahome,Mearawiththem.
“Willyoubestaying?”heaskedMeara.
“No—unlessyouwantme,”shesaidtoBranna.“Iknowwe’dplanneda
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nightofit.”“Gosleepinyourown
bed.We’llhaveournightofit,andweddingplansanothertime.Connorwilldriveyouhome.”
“Iwalkedfromthestables.”MearaleanedforwardtolookatConnoraroundBranna.“Youcouldjustdropmethere.”
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“I’lldriveyouhome.It’slate,andit’sanuneasynightatbest.”
“Iwon’targuewiththat.”
SohedroppedBrannaoff,andwaitedforhertogoinside,thoughhedoubtedCabhancouldmanagesomuchasapokewithasharpstickthat
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night.“She’llwantjustyou,”
Mearasaidquietly.“You’reneveroutof
placewithus.”“No,butshe’llwant
justyoutonight.I’veneverseenhersofrightened.We’reallstandinginthekitchen,withherjustpullingthe
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chickenfromtheoven,andlaughingoversomethingIcan’tevenrecall.Thenshewentwhiteasdeath.ItwasFincallingher,thoughIdon’tknowwhathesaid.”
Gatheringherself,Mearapausedamoment.“Butshesaidonly,‘Connor’shurt.AtFin’s.’
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Andshegrabbedmyarm.Ionagrabbedtheother.AndIwasflying.Ablink,anhour,Icouldn’tsay.AlltheseyearsI’veknownyouandBranna,andIneverknewthelikeofthat.NextIknowwe’reinFin’skitchen,andyou’reontheground,palereventhanBranna.
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“Ithoughtyouweredead.”
“Ittakesmorethanabitofblackmagicktodome.”
“Stopthelorry.”“What?Ah,areyou
sick.I’msorry.”Heswungtothesideoftheroad,stopped.“Ishouldn’tbejokingwhen—”
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Hiswords,histhoughts,thewholeofhisminddroppedintoavoidwhenshelaunchedherselfathim,chainedherarmsaroundhim,andtookhismouthlikeamadwoman.
Likeahot,mad,desperatewoman.
Beforehecouldact,react,think,shepulled
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backagain.“What—Whatwasall
that?Andwhere’sitbeen?”
“Ithoughtyouweredead,”sherepeated,andlatchedthathot,mad,desperatemouthtohisagain.
Thistimeheacted,grabbingontoher,trying
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toshiftheraroundsohecouldfindabetterhold,gainabetterangle.Allthewhilehertastepumpedintohimlikeadrug,oneneversampled,onehewantedmoreof.Allof.
“Meara.Letme—”Shejerkedbackagain.
“No.No.We’renotdoingthis.Wecan’tdothis.”
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“Wealreadydid.”“Justthat—”She
wavedherhandsintheair.“That’sallofit.”
“Actually,there’sconsiderablemore,ifyou’djust—”
“No.”Shethrewherarmout,slappedahandtohischesttostophim.“Drive.Drive,drive,
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drive.”“I’mdriving.”He
pulledbackontotheroad,realizedhewasasunsteadyashe’dbeenafterCabhan’sattack.“Weshouldhaveatalkaboutit.”
“Wewon’tbetalkingaboutit,asthere’snothingtotalkabout.Ithought
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youweredead,andit’sgotmeshakenupmorethanIunderstoodbecauseIdon’twantyoudead.”
Becausehecouldfeelthechaosinsideherroilingaround,hetriedforeaseandcalmtocounterit.“SureI’mgladyoudon’t,andgladI’mnot.But—”
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“There’snota‘but’aboutit.Andnothingmoretoit.”
Sheleapedoutofthelorryalmostbeforehepulledinfrontofherflat.
“GohometoBranna,”sheordered.“Sheneedsyou.”
Ifshehadn’tsaidthelast,he’dhavemarched
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rightuptoherflat,pushedhiswayinifnecessary.Thenthey’dhaveseenwhatthey’dhaveseen.
Butbecauseshewasright,hewaiteduntilshe’dshutherselfinside.Thenhedrovehome,morepuzzledthanhe’deverbeenaboutawoman.
Andmorestirredby
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onethanhecouldremember.
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M
8
EARATOLDHERSELFTOFORGETABOUTIT.TOPUTITaside
asamomentofinsanity
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causedbyextremestress.Itwasn’teveryday,wasit,yourtwogoodfriendsgrabbedholdofyouandtookyouflyingsoyouwinkedoutofoneplace,winkedintoanother?
Whereyoulookedatamanyou’dcaredforthewholeofyourlife,andthoughthimdead?
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Somewomenwouldhaverunscreaming,shethoughtassheputherbackintomuckingstalls.Somewouldhavefallenintohysterics.
Allshe’ddonewaskissthemanwhowasn’tdeadatall.
“I’vekissedhimbefore,haven’tI?”she
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mutteredandpitchedsoiledhayintothebarrow.“Youcan’tknowsomeonealmostfrombirth,runinthesamepackallalong,bebestmateswithhissister,andnot.It’snothing.It’snotathingatall.”
OhGod.Shesqueezedhereyes
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shut,leanedonherpitchfork.
Sureshe’dkissedhimbefore,andheher.
Butnotlikethat.Notlikethat,no.Notallhotandheavywithtonguesandteethandherheartracing.
Whatmusthethink?Whatdidshethink?
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More,whatthebloody,bleedinghellwasshetodowhennextshesawhim?
“Okay.”Ionasteppedintothestallbehindher,leanedonherownpitchfork.“I’vegivenyouthirty-twominutes,bymymark.That’smylimit.What’sgoingon?”
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“Goingon?”Flustered,Mearatuggedthebrimofhercapdownlower,andtossedanotherscoopintothebarrow.“I’mpitchinghorseshit,asyouare.”
“Meara,youbarelylookedatme,muchlessspokewhenwegotherethismorning.Andyou’reinheremutteringunder
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yourbreath.IfIdidsomethingtopissyouoff—”
“No!Ofcourseyoudidn’t.”
“Ididn’tthinkso,butsomething’sgotyoumutteringandhunchingoffwithyoureyesaverted.”
“MaybeI’vegotmy
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monthlies.”“Maybe?”“Icouldn’tthinkfast
enoughifI’dbeenbitchyrecentlywhenIdidhavethem.Mymother—”
Ionajabbedafingertostopher.“Youdidn’tthinkfastenoughthereeither.Whenit’syourmother,youspew.You’re
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notspewing,you’rehiding.”
“Iamnot.”Insulted,Mearaangledaway.“I’mmerelytakingsometimewithmythoughts.”
“Isitaboutlastnight?”Mearastraightenedup
likeaflagpole.“Whataboutlastnight?”
“Connor.Black
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magickalburn.”“Oh.Well,yes,of
course.Ofcourse,it’sthat.”
Eyesnarrowedinspeculation,Ionacircledherfingerintheair.“And?”
“And?Thatshouldbeenoughforanyone.Itwouldsendmostpeople
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intohospitalwithcollapsednerves.”
“You’renotmostpeople.”NowIonamovedincloser,crowdingthespace.“WhathappenedafteryouleftFin’s?”
“Whywouldanythinghappen?”
“There!”Ionapointed.“Youlookedatthe
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ground.Somethinghappened,andyou’reevading.”
Why,ohwhy,wasshesuchamiserableliarwhenitmattered?“I’mlookingatthehorseshitI’mnotshoveling.”
“Ithoughtwewerefriends.”
“Oh,oh,that’sbelow
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thebelt.”ItwasMeara’sturntopointanaccusatoryfinger.“Thatsorrowfullook,thelittlecatchinyourvoice.”
“Itis,”Ionaadmittedwithaquicksmile.“Butit’sstilltrue.”
Losingthebattle,Mearaleanedonherpitchforkagain.“Idon’t
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knowwhattosayaboutit,ordoaboutit.”
“That’swhyyoutellafriend.You’reclosetoBranna—andIdon’tmeanthatbelowthebelt.Ifyoucantalktoher,I’llcoverforyouwhileyougoover.”
“Youwould,”Mearasaidwithasigh.“I’llneed
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totalktoher,that’sclearenough.I’mnotsurehow.Itmightbebettertotalktoacousinratherthanasisterrightoff.Sortoflikestepping-stones.It’sjustthat...”
Shesteppedtotheopeningofthestall,lookedup,lookeddowntobesureBoyle,Mick,or
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anyofthestablehandsweren’tloiteringnearby.
“Itwasscary,lastnight.AndIwasturnedupsidedownrightoffatbeingwhiskedmagickallyfromonekitchentothenextinacoupleblinksoftheeye.”
“You’dneverflownbefore?OhGod,Meara,
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youhadtobeupsidedown.IguessIassumedBrannawouldhavetakenyounowandthen.For,well,fun.”
“It’snotthatshewon’tusepowerforabitoffunnowandthen.Butshe’sprettybloodyresponsiblewithit.”
“Youdon’thavetotell
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me.”“Thenwe’rethere,
whereweweren’t,andConnor...Inthatfirstmoment,Ithoughthewasdead.”
“Oh,Meara.”Instinctively,Ionareachedouttohugher.“Iknewhewasn’t—thatconnectionamongthethree—andI
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nearlylostit.”“IthoughtI’d—we’d—
losthim,andmyheadwasalreadyspinning,mygutstwistedsideways.ThenBrannaandFinworkingonhim,andyouaswell.AndIcoulddonothing.”
“That’snottrue.”Ionapulledback,gaveMearaalittleshake.“Ittookusall.
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Ittookourcircle,ourfamily.”
“Ifeltuselessallthesame,butthat’snotimportant.Itwassuchareliefwhenhecameback,andsomuchhimself.AndIthoughtI’dcalmedandsettled.Butwhenhedrovemehome,itstartedrollingaroundinsidemeagain,
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andbeforeIknewit,beforeIcouldthinkstraight,Itoldhimtopullover.”
“Wereyousick?I’msosorry.”
“No,no,andhethoughtthesame.ButIwentabitmad,really.Ijustjumpedhim,rightthereinhislorry.”
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ShockhadIona’smouthfallingopenasshetookajerkystepback.“You—Youhithim?”
“No!Don’tbeanidjit!Ikissedhim.Andnotatalllikeabrotherorafriend,orsomeoneyou’rewelcomingbackfromdeath.”
“Oh.”Ionadrewthe
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syllableout.“Oh,”Mearaechoed,
doingarestlesscirclearoundthestall.“Then,asifthatwasn’tenough,Ipulledback.You’dthinkI’d’vegotmyheadbackinplace,butno,Ididitalloveragain.Andbeingaman,afterall,hehadnoobjections,andwould’ve
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movedonfromthereifIhadn’tfoundmysanityagain.”
“Ishouldn’tbesurprised.I’mnotreallysurprised.Ithoughttherewassomething...butwhenIfirstgotherethiswinter,IthoughttherewassomethingbetweenyouandBoyle.”
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“OhJesus.”Completelydone,Mearacoveredherfacewithherhands.
“Iknowtherewasn’t,ever,anythingbutfamily,friends.SoIdecidedthesomethingIthoughtIfeltbetweenyouandConnorwasthesame.”
“Itis!Ofcourseitis.
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Thiswasaresultoftrauma.”
“Acoma’saresultoftrauma.Makingoutinatruck—lorry—isaresultofsomethingelseentirely.”
“Itwasn’tmakingout,justacouplekisses.”
“Tongues?”“Ohbloodyhell.”She
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yankedoffhercap,tosseditdown,stompedonit.
“Doesthathelp?”Ionawondered.
“No.”Disgusted,Mearagrabbedthecap,beatitagainstherthigh.“HowcanItellBrannaI’vebeensnoggingherbrotherinhislorryonthesideoftheroadlikea
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hornyteenager?”“Thesamewayyou
toldme.Whatabout—”“Dothetwoofyou
intendtostandaroundallmorning,orwillyoubehaulingthatmanureout?”Boylesteppedtotheopening,scowledatthem.
“We’renearlydone,”Ionatoldhim.“Andwe
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havesomethingwehavetodiscuss.”
“Discusslater,haulmanurenow.”
“Goaway.”“I’mthebosshere.”Shemerelystaredat
himuntilheshovedhishandsinhispocketsandstalkedaway.
“Don’tworry,Iwon’t
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sayanythingtohim.”“Oh,itdoesn’tmatter.”
Mortifiedalloveragain,Mearashoveledmoremanure.“Connorwillforcertain.Menareworsethanwomenaboutsuchmatters.”
“WhatdidyousaytoConnor?After.”
“Itoldhimthatwasthe
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endofit,andIwasn’tgoingtotalkaboutit.”
“Right.”Ionamanagedtoholdbackthelaugh,butnotthetoothysmile.“That’llwork.”
“Wecan’thaveamad,momentaryimpulsetwistingthingsup.We’vemoreimportantthingstoconcernus,asawhole.”
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Ionasaidnothingforamoment,thensteppedover,gaveMearaanotherhug.“Iunderstand.I’llgowithyouwhenyoutalktoBrannaifyouwant.”
“Thanksforthat,butit’sbestIdoitonmyown.”
“Gothismorning,getitoffyourmind.I’llcover
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foryou.”“Itwouldbegoodto
getitoutandgone,wouldn’tit?”Andmaybeherstomachwouldstoprollingaround,sheconsideredasshepressedahandtoit.“I’llfinishuphere,thenrunover.Onceit’ssaid,Icanputitasideandconcentrateonwhat
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needsdoingwithoutitnaggingatme.”
“I’llsmoothitwithBoyle.”
“TellhimI’vemymonthliesorsomeotherfemalething.Italwaysshutshimup.”
“I’maware,”Ionasaidwithalaugh,andwentbacktoherownstall.
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***
DOITQUICK,MEARAORDEREDHERSELFASSHESTRODEthroughthewoods.Getitover.Brannawouldhardlybemadaboutit—morelikelyshe’dlaugh,andthinkita
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finejoke.Thatwouldbegrand,
andthenshecouldthinkofitasafinejokeherself.
ImagineMearaQuinnlustingforConnorO’Dwyer.Andshecouldadmittherewerelittlepocketsoflustburninginuncomfortableplaces.
ButatalkwithBranna
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wouldquashallthat,andthingswouldbebackasthingsshouldbe.
Maybeshe’dhadalittletwingeoverhimnowandthenthroughtheyears.Whatwomanwouldn’tfeelatwingeortwoforthelikesofConnorO’Dwyer?
Themanmadea
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picture,didn’the?Alllongandleanandthatcurlingmopofhair,thatprettyface,thatknowinggrin.Addinhiscaringways,forhehadthatasmuchasthepretty.
Atempertobesure,butlessthanhersbyfar.Byafewthousandkilometers,truthbetold.
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Andafarhappier,steadieroutlookonlifethanmost,includingherself.
Forallhe’dfacedthewholeofhislife,hekeptthathappyoutlook,thosecaringways.Youmixedthepowerin,foritwasanawesomethingtobeholdevenforonewho’dknownandseenitallher
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life,andthefullpackageofhimpackedasolidpunch.
Andheknewitwell,useditwell—onmorethanafairshareoffemalestoherwayofthinking.
Notthatsheheldthatagainsthim.Whynotplucktheflowersalong
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theway?Forher,forsenseand
logic,she’dstickwithbeinghisfriendratherthanpartofabouquet.
Shesighed,hunchedhershouldersastheairchilled.She’dhavetospeaktohimofit—foolishtotellherselfotherwise.Butaftershe’d
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toldBrannaandthey’dhadagoodlaughoverit.
She’dbeabletotalktoConnor,makeitallafinejoke,aftershetoldBranna.
Shedugintoherpocketforherglovesasthewindkickedup.Andtothinkthey’dcalledforabrightmorning,shethoughtas
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cloudssmotheredthesun.Andsheheardher
nameonthewind.Pausing,shelooked
overinthatdirection,sawshestoodatthebigdownedtreebythethickvines.BytheplacewherebeyondlaytheruinsofSorcha’scabin,andthelandthatcouldslipinand
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outoftimeonCabhan’swhim.
He’dneverbeforecalledtoher,botheredwithher.Whywouldhe?Shehadnopower,wasnothreat.Buthecallednow,andthevoicethatoozedseductionpulledatsomethinginsideher.
Sheknewthedangers,
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knewallthewarningsandrisks,yetfoundherselfstandingatthecurtainofvineswithoutrealizingshe’dwalkedtothem.Foundherselfreaching.
She’djusthavealook,justaquicklookisall.
Herhandtouchedthevines,andadreamywarmthcamewiththe
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touch.Smiling,shestartedtopartthemwhilefogoozedthroughtheirtangles.
Thehawkcriedasitdove.Itslicedapathalongthosevinessoshestumbledback.Shudderedandshudderedwiththefogswimmingnearlytoherknees.
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Roibeardperchedonthedownedtree,lookedatherwitheyesbrightandfierce.
“Iwasgoingin,havealook.Canyouhearhimaswell?It’smynamehe’scalling.Ionlywanttosee.”
Whenshereachedoutagain,Roibeardspreadhis
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wingsinwarning.BehindherBranna’shoundletoutasoftwoof.
“Comewithmeifyoulike.Whydon’tyoucomewithme?”
Kathelcaughtthehemofherjacketinhisteeth,pulledherback.
“Stopthatnow!What’swrongwithyou?
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What’s...What’swrongwithme?”shemurmured,swayingnow,kneeswatery,headlight.
“Buggerit.”ShelaidanunsteadyhandonKathel’sgreathead.“Gooddog,smartandgood.Let’sgetawayfromhere.”ShelookedbackatRoibeard,andatthe
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shadowsdimmingagainasthesunstruggledthroughthemists.“Let’sallgetawayfromhere.”
Shekeptherhandonthedog,walkingfastwhilethehawkswoopedandglidedoverhead.Neverinherlifewasshesogladtoseethewoodsbehindher,andthehome
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oftheDarkWitchsocloseathand.
Shewasn’tashamedtorun,ortoflingherself,justaheadofthehound,breathlessintoBranna’sworkshop.
Intheactofpouringsomethingthatsmelledofsugarbiscuitsfromvattobottle,Brannalookedup.
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Immediatelysetthepotaside.
“Whatisit?You’reshaking.Here,here,comebythefire.”
“Hecalledme,”MearamanagedasBrannarushedaroundtheworkcounter.“Hecalledmyname.”
“Cabhan.”Wrapping
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anarmaroundMeara,Brannapulledhertothefire,easedherdownintoachair.“Atthestables?”
“No,no,thewoods.Iwascominghere.Attheplace—outsideSorcha’splace.Branna,hecalledme,andIwasgoing.Iwantedtogoin,gotohim.Iwantedit.”
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“It’sallright.You’rehere.”ShebrushedherhandsoverMeara’scoldcheeks,warmedthem.
“Iwantedit.”“He’ssly.Hemakes
youwant.Butyou’rehere.”
“ImightnotbebutforRoibeardwhocameoutofnowheretostopme,then
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Kathelwhocameaswell,andclampedrightontomyjackettopullmeback.”
“Theyloveyou,asIdo.”BrannabentdowntolayhercheektoKathel’shead,towraparoundhimforamoment.“I’mgoingtogetyousometea.Don’targue.Youneedit,asdo
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I.”ShegotKathela
biscuitfirst,thensteppedoutsidebriefly.
Tothankthehawk,Mearathought.Tolethimknowallwaswell,andhehadhergratitude.Brannaalwaysacknowledgedloyalty.
Togiveherown
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thanks,andforcomfort,MearaslidoffthechairtohugKathel.“Strongandbraveandtrue,”shewhispered.“There’snobetterdogintheworldthanourKathel.”
“Notaone.Sitdown,catchyourbreath.”Brannabusiedherselfwithteawhenshecame
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backinside.“Whywouldhecall
me?Whatwouldhewantwithme?”
“You’reoneofus.”“I’venomagick.”“Notbeingawitch
doesn’tmeanyoudon’thavemagick.Youhaveaheartandaspirit.You’reasstrongandbraveand
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trueasKathel.”“I’veneverfelt
anythinglikeit.Itwasasifeverythingelsewentaway,andtherewasonlyhisvoice,andmyownterribleneedtoanswerit.”
“I’llbemakingyouacharm,andyou’llcarryitwithyoualways.”
Warmnow,Meara
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shruggedoutofherjacket.“You’vemademecharms.”
“I’llmakeyouanother,stronger,morespecific,we’llsay.”Shebroughtoverthetea.“Nowtellmeall,ascarefullyasyoucan.”
Whenshehad,Mearasatback.“Itwasonlya
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minuteortwoIrealizenow.Itallseemedsoslow,sodreamlike.Whydidn’thejuststrikemedown?”
“Awasteofacomelymaid.”
“Ihaven’tbeenamaidinsometime.”Sheshudderedagain.“Andoh,whataterriblethoughtit
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is.Worse,Imighthavebeenwilling.”
“Spellboundisn’twilling.Icanonlybelievehe’dhaveusedyouifyou’dgonethrough—takenyoutoanothertime,usedyou,anddonewhathecouldtoturnyou.”
“Hecouldn’tdothatwithanyspell.Notwith
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any.”“Hecouldn’t,no,not
that.ButasyousaidaboutFin,hedoesn’tunderstandfamilyandlove.”BrannagrippedMeara’shand,broughtittohercheek.“He’dhavehurtyou,Meara,andthatwouldhavehurtusall.You’llcarrythecharmImake
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you.”“OfcourseIwill.”“We’llneedtotellthe
others.Boylewillneedtohavemoreofacareaswell.ButhehasIonaandFin.Youshouldstayhere,withConnorandme.”
“Ican’t.”“Iknowyouvalueyour
ownspace—who’d
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understandmore—butuntilwe’vesettledonwhatwedonext,it’sbestif—”
“Ikissedhim.”“What?What?”
Stunned,Brannajerkedback.“YoukissedCabhan?Butyousaidyoudidn’tgothrough.What—”
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“Connor.IkissedConnor.Lastnight.Iallbutmolestedhimonthesideoftheroad.Ilostmymindforaminute,that’sallitwas.Theflyingalong,theseeinghimlyingonFin’skitchenfloor,allthepaininhisfacewhenthehealingstarted.Ithought,he’s
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dead,thenhewasn’t,thenhe’sshakingandburningup,andthenhe’srippingoffadrumstickandchompingintoitbeforehe’ssomuchasputhisshirtonagain.ItalljustboiledmybrainuntilIwasallbutcrawlingoverhimandkissinghim.”
“Well,”Brannasaid
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afterMearasuckedinabreath.
“ButIstopped—youhavetoknow—well,afterthesecondtimeIstopped.”
ThoughBranna’smouthquirkedatthecorner,hertonestayedutterlyeven.“Thesecondtime?”
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“I—It—He—Itwasamadreactiontotheevening.”
“Anddidhehaveamadreactionaswell—totheevening?”
“I’dhavetosay,thinkingonit,thefirstonetookhimbysurprise,andwhocouldwonder.Andthesecond...he’saman,
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afterall.”“Heisthat,indeed.”“Butitwentnofurther.
I’llmakethatcleartoyou.Ihadhimdropmehomeanddriveon.Itwentnofurther.”
“Why?”“Why?”Blank,Meara
juststared.“HedroppedmehomeasIsaid.”
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“Whydidn’thegowithyou?”
“Withme?Heneededtogohome,toyou.”
“Ah,bollockstothat,Meara.”Annoyanceflickedout.“Iwon’tbeusedasanexcuse.”
“Idon’tmeanthat,notatall.I...Ithoughtyou’dbeirritatedor
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amused,orpuzzledatleast.Butyou’renot.”
“I’mnoneofthose,no,orsurprisedintheleast.I’vewonderedwhyit’stakenthepairofyousobloodylongtogettoit.”
“Gettowhat?”“Gettogether.”“Together?”Pure
shockhadMearasurging
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toherfeet.“Me,Connor.No,thatcan’tbe.”
“Andwhycan’tit?”“Becausewe’re
friends.”Mearasippedhertea,
lookedintothefire.“WhenIthinkofaloverwhowouldtouchmorethanmybody,Ithinkofafriend.Tohaveonlythe
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heatwithoutthewarmth?Itwoulddo,anddoes,butonlyjust.”
“Andwhathappenstothefriendwhentheloverends?”
“Idon’tknow.Iseeourparents,Connor’sandmine,happystill.Notblissfuleverysecondofeveryday,forwhocould
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standthat?Buthappy,andintunemostofthetime.”
“AndIseemine.”“Iknow.”Branna
reachedup,tookMeara’shandtodrawherdowntositagain.“Thosewhomadeusgiveuseachadifferentplacetostandonit,don’tthey?Iwant,whenIletmyselfwant,
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thathappy,thatintune.Andyouwon’tletyourselfwantatallbecauseyouseetheruin,themisery,andtheselfishnessunderitall.”
“Hemeanstoomuchtometorisktheruin.Andwe’vetoomuchtofightfor—asyesterdayandtodayhaveproved—to
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tangleupourcirclewithsex.”
“IbelieveIonaandBoylehavesexateveryopportunity.”
NowMearalaughed.“They’remadinlove,andsuitedforit,soit’sdifferent.”
“It’suptoyou,ofcourse,andtoConnor.”
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AndConnor,Brannathought,wouldverylikelyhaveadifferentthingortwotosayaboutthematter.“ButknowI’venoobjectionatall,ifthatwasaworrytoyou.WhywouldI?Iloveyouboth.I’llsayaswellthatsexisapowerfulmagickofitsown.”
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“SoIshouldsleepwithConnortoaidthecause?”
“Youshoulddowhatmakesyouhappy.”
“It’sallabitconfusingrightnowtobesurewhatdoes,whatdoesn’t.ButwhatIhavetodoisgetbacktoworkbeforeBoylegivesmetheboot.”
“I’llmakethecharm
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first,andKathelandRoibeardwillgobackwithyou.WalkclearofSorcha’splace,Meara.”
“Believeme,I’lldothat.”
“TellIonaandBoylewhathappened.BoylewillseeFin’stold,andI’llspeakwithConnor.Cabhan’sgrowingbold
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again,sowebestallbeonourtoes.”
***
BRANNADIDN’THAVETOTELLCONNOR,ASFINWENTBYtheschoolthatafternoon,tookConnoraside.
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“Issheallright?Areyousureofit?”
“Isawhermyselfnotanhourago.She’sfineandfitasever.”
“I’vebeenbusy,”Connorsaid.“IbarelynoticedRoibeardwasn’tabout,thenwhenIdid,Iknewhewasatthestables.Helikesitthere,
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withthehorses.WithMeara.SoIthoughtnothingofit,andheneversentmeanyalarm.”
“AsheandKathelwereallsheneeded.Brannamadeheracharm.It’sastrongone—IhadMearashowme.Andthewoman’sstrongaswell.Still,it’stimewewereall
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abitmorecareful.”Connorpaced,boots
crunchingongravel.“He’dhaverapedher.Strongornot,shecouldn’thavestoppedhim.I’veseenwhathe’sdonetowomenoverhistime.”
“Hedidn’ttouchher,Connor,andwon’t.We’llallseetothat.”
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“I’veworriedforBrannaonthis.Hewantspower,andsheisfullofpower.NamedforSorcha’sfirstborn,andthefirstofthethreeinthenowtobepassedtheamulet.And...”
“ThewomanIlove,wholovesmeevenifshewon’thaveme.You’re
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notaloneinyourworry.”“AndMearaisasister
toBranna.Thatmightbemakinghermoreappealingtohim,”Connorconsidered.
“TostrikeatBrannathroughMeara.”Finnodded.“Itwouldbehisway.”
“Itwould.Andafter
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lastnight...”“Afterwhathedidto
you?WhathasthattodowithMeara?”
“Nothingatall.Well,indirectly.”Amanshouldn’tlieorevadewithhismates.Inanycasetherewasmoreonthelinethandiscretion.“Wehadamoment,
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MearaandI,afterleavingBrannaatthecottage.Amomentortwointhelorry,onthesideoftheroad.”
Fin’seyebrowwingedup.“YoumovedinonMeara?”
“Theotherway.”Distracted,Connortwirledafinger.“Shemovedin
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onme.Andmovedinwithgreatenthusiasm.Thenstoppedcold,saidthat’stheendofthat,andtakemehome.Ilovewomen,Fin.Ilovethemtoptotoe,minds,hearts,bodies.Breasts.Whatisthereaboutawoman’sbreasts?”
“Howlongdowehave
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todiscussit?”Connorlaughed.“True
enough.Wecouldtakehoursonbreastsalone.Ilovewomen,Fin,butforthelifeofmethere’ssomuchofthemimpossibletounderstand.”
“Andthatdiscussionwouldtakedaysandneverberesolved.”Obviously
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intrigued,FinstudiedConnor’sface.“Tellmethis,didyouwantthattobetheendofit?”
“AfterIgotoverwonderingwhereallthishadbeenhiding,frombothofus,allourlives,no,Ididn’t.Don’t.”
“Then,modearthair.”FinslappedConnor’s
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shoulder.“It’suptoyoutofollowthrough.”
“I’mthinkingonit.AndnowwonderingifthatmomentortwoonthesideoftheroadmightbewhyCabhantookaninterestinhertoday.BecauseIdid,inthatway?It’snotfarthinking.”
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“It’snot,no.Hehurtyoulastnight.Itmaybehetriedtohurtyouagain,throughMeara,today.Sohaveacare,bothofyou.”
“Iwill,andI’llseeshedoes.Ah,there’sthethreeo’clocks.AmisterandmissusfromWales.Wanttogoalong?I’llfetchyouapackandglove.”
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Finstartedtodecline,thenrealizedithadbeentoolongsincehe’ddoneahawkwalkwithConnor.“Iwouldn’tmindthat,butI’llgetmyowngear.”
Connorglancedup,spottedMerlininthesky.“Willyoutakehim?Trustoneofthemwithhim?”
“He’denjoyitaswell.”
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“It’llbeabitlikeoldtimesthen.”
WhenFinwentoffforthegear,Connortookaquickglanceatthetime.Assoonashewasable,he’dsearchoutMeara.Theyhadconsiderabletotalkabout,likeitornot.
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A
9
SIFHERDAYHADN’TBEENFRAUGHTENOUGH,MEARA
addedonafranticand
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weepycallfromhermotherthatsenthersearchingoutBoyle.
Hesatinhisofficescowlingashewaspronetoscowloverpaperwork.
“Boyle.”“Whyisitthenumbers
nevertallythefirsttimeyoudothem?Whyisthat?”
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“Icouldn’tsay.Boyle,I’msorrytoaskbutIneedtogo.Mymother’shadafireatthehouse.”
“Afire?”Heshovedupfromhisdeskasifhe’drushofftoputitouthimself.
“Akitchenfire,Ithink.Itwashardgettinganythingoutofher,asshe
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wasnearhysterical.ButIdidgetshe’snothurt,anddidn’tburntheplacedownaroundher.Still,Idon’tknowhowbaditallis,so—”
“Go.Goon.”Heroundedthedesk,takingherarm,drawingheroutoftheoffice.“Letmeknowwhat’swhatassoon
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asyoucan.”“Iwill.Thanks.I’lldo
extratomorrowtomakeupforit.”
“Justgo,forChrist’ssake.”
“I’mgoing.”Shejumpedinher
lorry.Itwouldbenothing,
shetoldherself.Unlessit
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wassomething.WithColleenQuinn,youneverknewwhich.
Andhermotherhadbeenallbutincoherent,wailingoneminute,babblingthenext.Allaboutthekitchen,smoke,burning.
Maybeshewashurt.TheimageofConnor,
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theblackbubblingburnonhisarmflashedthroughhermind.
Burning.Cabhan.Fearspurted
throughheratthethoughthemighthaveplayedsomepart.Hadhegoneafterhermotherbecauseintheendshe’dresistedhiscall?
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Mearapunchedtheaccelerator,rocketedaroundcurves,racedherwaywithherheartatagalloptothelittledollhousenestledwithahandfulofothersjustalongthehemofCong’sskirts.
Thehousestood—nodamageshecouldseeto
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thewhitewalls,thegrayroof,thetidydooryardgarden.Tidy,trueenough,asthesmallbitofgardeninfrontandbackwashermother’sonlyrealinterest.
Sheshovedthroughtheshortgate—oneshe’dpaintedherselfthepreviousspring,andran
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upthewalk,diggingforherkeys,sincehermotherinsistedonlockingthedoorsdayandnightinfearofburglars,rapists,oralienprobes.
ButColleenrushedout,handsclaspedtogetheratherbreastasifinprayer.
“Oh,Meara,thankGodyou’vecome!WhatwillI
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do?WhatwillIdo?”Shethrewherselfinto
Meara’sarms,aweeping,tremblingbundleofdespair.
“You’renothurt?Forcertain?Letmeseeyou’renothurt.”
“Iburnedmyfingers.”Likeachildsheheldupherhandtoshowthehurt.
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Andnothing,Mearasawwithrelief,abitofsalvewouldn’tdealwith.
“Allrightthen,allright.”Tosoothe,Mearabrushedalightkissoverthelittleburn.“That’sthemostimportantthing.”
“It’sterrible!”Colleeninsisted.“Thekitchen’saruin.WhatwillIdo?Oh,
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Meara,whatwillIdo?”“Let’shavealook,
thenwe’llsee,won’twe?”Itwaseasytoturn
Colleenaroundandpullherinside.Mearahadgottenherheightfromherlong-absentfather.Colleenmadeaprettylittlepackage—apetite,slim,andalwaysperfectly
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groomedone,afactoflifethatoftenmadeMearafeellikeahulkingbearleadingapoodlewithaperfectpedigree.
Nodamageinthefrontroom,anotherrelief,thoughMearacouldsmellsmoke,andseethethinhazeofit.
Smoke,shethought—
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morerelief—notfog.Threestridestookher
intothecompact,eat-inkitchenwherethesmokehunginathinhaze.
Notaruin,butsureamess.Andnotone,shedeterminedimmediately,causedbyanevilsorcerer,butacarelessandineptwoman.
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Keepinganarmaroundherweepingmother,shetookstock.
Theroastingpanwiththeburnedjoint,nowspilledontothefloorbesideascorchedandsoakingdishclothtoldthetale.
“Youburnedthejoint,”Mearasaidcarefully.
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“Ithoughttoroastsomelamb,asDonalandhisgirlweretocometodinnerlater.Ican’tapprovehimmovinginwithSharonbeforemarriage,butI’mhismotherallthesame.”
“Roastingajoint,”Mearamurmured.
“Donal’sfondofa
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goodjointasyouknow.I’djustgoneoutthebackforabit.I’vehadslugsinthegardenthere,andwenttochangethebeer.”
Flutteringindistress,ColleenwavedherhandsatthekitchendoorasifMearamighthaveforgottenwherethegardenlay.“They’vebeen
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aftertheimpatiens,soIhadtoseeaboutit.”
“Allright.”Mearasteppedover,begantoopenthewindows,asColleenhadfailedtodo.
“Iwasn’toutthatlong,butIthoughtsinceIwas,I’dcutsomeflowersforanicearrangementonthetable.Youneedfresh
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flowersforcompanyatdinner.”
“Mmm,”Mearasaid,andpickeduptheflowersscatteredoverthewetfloor.
“Icamein,andthekitchenwasfullofsmoke.”Stillfluttering,Colleenlookedtearfullyaroundtheroom.“Iranto
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theoven,andthelambwasburning,soItookthecloththeretopullitout.”
“Isee.”Mearaturnedofftheoven,foundafreshcloth,pickeduptheroastingpan,thecharcoaledjoint.
“Andsomehowtheclothlit,andwasburning.Ihadtodropeverything
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andtakethepanthere,whereIhadwaterforthepotatoes.”
Mearapickedupthepotatoeswhilehermotherwrungherhands,dumpedthelotinthesinktodealwithlater.
“It’saruin,Meara,aruin!WhatwillIdo?WhatwillIdo?”
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Thefamiliarmixofannoyance,resignation,frustrationwoundthroughher.Acceptingthatasherlot,Mearadriedherhandsbyswipingthemonherworkpants.
“ThefirstthingistoopenthewindowsinthefrontroomwhileImopthisup.”
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“Thesmokewillsoilthepaint,won’tit,Meara,andyouseethefloorthere,it’sscorchedfromtheburningcloth.Idon’tdaretellthelandlordorhe’llsetmeout.”
“He’lldonothingofthekind,Ma.Ifthepaint’ssoiled,we’llfixit.Ifthefloor’sdamaged,we’llfix
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thataswell.Openthewindows,thenputsomeofBranna’ssalveonyourfingers.”
ButColleenonlystood,handsclasped,prettyblueeyesdamp.“Donalandhisgirlarecomingatseven.”
“Onethingatatime,Ma,”Mearasaidasshe
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mopped.“Icouldn’tringhimup
totellhimofthedisasterhere.Notwhilehe’satwork.”
Butyoucouldringme,Mearathought,asyou’veneverunderstoodawomancanwork,doeswork,wantsorneedstowork,thesameasaman.
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“Thewindows,”wasallshesaid.
Notameanboneinherbody,Meararemindedherselfasshecleanedthefloor—notscorchedatall,butonlysmudgedwithashfromthecloth.Notevenselfishintheusualway,butsimplyhelplessanddependent.
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Andwasthatherfault,really,whenshe’dbeentendedandshelteredthewholeofherlife?Byherparents,thenbyherhusband,andnowbyherchildren.
She’dneverbeentaughttocope,hadshe?Or,Mearathoughtwithahardstareattheroasting
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pan,howtocookafeckingjoint.
Afterwringingoutthemop,shetookamomenttotextBoyle.Nopointinkeepinghimworried.
Not a fire but a burntjoint of lamb and a rightmess. No harm.
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Mearacartedouttheruinedmeattodumpinthebin,scrubbedoffthepotatoesandsetthemtodry—astheywerestillrawbecausehermotherhadforgotten,alltothegood,toturntheheatonunderthem.
Shesettheroastingpaninthesinktosoak,putthe
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kettleonfortea,allwhileColleendespairedofbeingevicted.
“Sitdown,Ma.”“Ican’tsit,I’mthat
upset.”“Sit.You’llhavesome
tea.”“ButDonal.Whatwill
Ido?I’veruinedthekitchen,andthey’re
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comingfordinner.Andthelandlord,thiswillputhiminastateforcertain.”
Mearadidmultiplicationtablesinherhead—thesevens,whichbuggeredhereverytime.Itkeptherfromshoutingwhensheturnedtohermother.“First,lookaroundnow.The
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kitchen’snotruined,isit?”
“ButI...”Asifseeingitforthefirsttime,Colleenflutteredaround.“Oh,itcleanedupwell,didn’tit?”
“Itdid,yes.”“Icanstillsmellthe
smoke.”“You’llkeepthe
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windowsopenabitlonger,andyouwon’t.Attheworst,we’llscrubdownthewalls.”Mearamadethetea,addedacoupleofchocolatebiscuitstooneofhermother’sfancyplates—andbecauseitwashermother,addedawhitelinennapkin.
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“Sitdown,haveyourtea.Let’shavealookatyourfingers.”
“They’remuchbetter.”Smilingnow,Colleenheldthemup.“Branna’ssuchawaywiththings,hasn’tshe,makingupherlotionsandcreamsandcandlesandsoon.IloveshoppingintheDark
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Witch.Ialwaysfindsomeprettylittlethingorother.It’salovelylittleshopshehas.”
“Itis.”“Andshecomesby
nowandthen,bringsmesamplestotryoutforher.”
“Iknow.”SoColleencouldhaveherprettylittle
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things,Mearaknewaswell,withoutspendingtoomuch.
“She’salovelygirl,isBranna,andalwayslookssosmart.”
“Shedoes,”Mearaagreed,andknewColleenwishedherdaughterwoulddresssmartinsteadofcladdingherselfforthe
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stables.We’llhavetokeepon
beingdisappointedineachother,won’twe,Ma?shethought,butsaidnothingmore.
“Thekitchendidcleanupwell,Meara,andthanksforthat.ButIhaven’tathingnow,orthetimereally,tomakea
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nicedinnerforDonalandhisgirl.WhatwillSharonthinkofme?”
“She’llthinkyouhadabitofato-dointhekitchen,soyoucalledroundtoRyan’sHotelandmadeabookingforthethreeofyou.”
“Oh,but—”“I’llarrangeit,and
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they’llrunatabforme.You’llhaveanicedinner,andyou’llcomebackhereforteaandabitofdessert—whichI’llgopickupatMonk’sCafeinafewminutes.You’llserveitonyourgoodchina,andfeelfineaboutit.You’llallhaveaniceevening.”
Colleen’scheeks
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pinkedwithpleasure.“Thatsoundslovely,justlovely.”
“Now,Ma,doyouremembertheproperwaytodealwithakitchenfire?”
“Youthrowwateronafire.Idid.”
“It’sbesttosmotherit.There’stheextinguisher
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intheclosetwiththemop.Remember?Finprovidedit,andDonalputthebracketsinsoit’salwaysrightthere,onthewallofthelittlecloset.”
“Oh,butIneverthoughtofit,beingthatupset.AndhowwouldIrememberhowtouseit?”
Therewasthat,Meara
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thought.“Failingthat,youcandumpbakingsodaonit,orbetterallaround,setapotlidonit,cutofftheair.Bestofall,youdon’tleavethekitchenwhenyou’vegotcookinggoing.Youcansetatimerontheovensoyou’renotwedtotheroomwhenyou’rebakingorroasting.”
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“Imeantto.”“I’msureyoudid.”“I’msorryforthe
trouble,Meara,truly.”“Iknow,andit’sall
fixednow,isn’tit?”ShelaidahandlightlyoverColleen’s.“Ma,wouldn’tyoubehappierlivingclosertoyourgrandchildren?”
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Mearaspentsometimenourishingtheseedshe’dplanted,thenwenttothecafe,boughtaprettycreamcake,somesconesandpastries.Shedroppedbytherestaurant,madearrangementswiththemanager—afriendsinceherschooldays,circledbacktohermother’s.
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Sinceshehadaheadacheinanycase,shewentstraighthomefromthereandranguphersister.
“Maureen,it’stimeyouhadaturnwithMa.”
Afterafullhourofarguing,negotiating,shouting,laughing,commiserating,shedug
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outheadachepills,chuggedthemdownwithwateratthebathroomsink.
Andgaveherselfalongstareinthemirror.Littlesleepleftitsmarkinshadowedeyes.Fatigueoneverypossibleleveladdedstrainaroundthem,andacreasebetweenher
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eyebrowssherubbedinannoyance.
Anotherdaylikethis,shedecided,she’dneedallofBranna’screamsandlotions—andaglamouraswell—orshe’dlookahag.
Sheneededtosetitallasideforonebloodynight,shetoldherself.
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Connor,Cabhan,hermother,thewholeofherfamily.Onequietnight,shedecided,inherpajamas—withathicklayerofoneofBranna’screamsonherface.Addabeer,somecrispsorwhateverjunkyfoodshehadabout,andthetelly.
She’dwishfornomore
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thanthat.Optingforthebeerto
begin—itwouldn’tbethefirsttimeshe’dtakenacoldbeerintoahotshowertowashawaytheday—shestartedtowardthekitchen,andsomeonepoundedonthedoor.
“Goaway,”shemuttered,“whoeveryou
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are,andnevercomeback.”
Whoeveritwasknockedagain,andshe’dhaveignoreditagain,buthefollowedupwith:
“Openup,Meara.Iknowverywellyou’reinthere.”
Connor.Shecasthereyestotheceiling,but
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wenttothedoor.Sheopenedit.“I’m
settlinginforsomequiet,sogosomewhereelse.”
“What’sthisaboutafireatyourmother’s?”
“Itwasnothing.Goonnow.”
Hesquintedather.“Youlookterrible.”
“Andthat’sallI
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neededtofinishoffmyfeckingday.Thanksforthat.”
Shestartedtoshutthedoorinhisface,butheputashouldertoit.Forafoolishminute,eachpushedagainsttheother.Shetendedtoforgetthemanwasstrongerthanhelooked.
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“Fine,fine,comeinthen.Theday’sbeennothingbutalossinanycase.”
“Yourheadhurts,andyou’retiredandbitchywithit.”
Beforeshecouldevade,helaidhishandsonhertemples,ranthemoverherhead,downtothe
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baseofherskull.Andthethrobbingache
vanished.“I’dtakensomething
foritalready.”“Thatworksfaster.”
Headdedalightrubonhershouldersthatdissolvedalltheknots.“Sitdown,takeyourbootsoff.I’llgetyouabeer.”
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“Ididn’tinviteyouforabeerandachat.”Thebadtemperinhertoneafterhe’dvanishedallthoseachesandthrobsshamedher.Andtheshameonlyaddedmorebadtemper.
Hecockedhishead,facefullofpatienceandsympathy.Shewantedto
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punchhimforit.Shewantedtolayher
headonhisshoulderandjustbreathe.
“Haven’teaten,haveyou?”
“I’veonlyjustgottenhome.”
“Sitdown.”Hewalkedovertothe
kitchen—suchasitwas.
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Thetwo-burnerstove,thesquatfridge,miserlysink,andcountertuckedtidilyenoughinthecornerofherlivingspace,andsuitedherneeds.
Shegrumbledrudewordsunderherbreath,butshesatandtookoffherbootswhileshewatchedhim—eyes
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narrowed—pokearound.“Whatareyouafterin
there?”“Thefrozenpizzayou
neverfailtostockwillbequickest,andIcoulddowithsomemyselfforIhaven’teateneither.”
Hepeeleditoutofthewrap,stuckitintheoven.Andunlikehermother,
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rememberedtosetthetimer.HetookoutacouplebottlesofHarp,poppedthemopen,thenstrolledback.
Hehandedherabeer,satdownbesideher,proppedhisfeetonhercoffeetable,amanathome.
“We’llstartattheend
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ofit.Yourmother.Akitchenfire,wasit?”
“Noteventhat.Sheburnedajointoflamb,andfromherreaction,you’dthinkshe’dstartedaninfernothatleveledthevillage.”
“Wellthen,yourma’sneverbeenmuchofacook.”
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Mearasnortedoutalaugh,dranksomebeer.“She’saterriblecook.WhyshegotitintoherheadtohavealittledinnerpartyforDonalandhisgirlisbeyondme.Becauseit’sproper,”shesaidimmediately.“Inherworld,it’stheproperthing,andshemustbe
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proper.She’sbitsofBelleekandRoyalTaraandWaterfordallaround,fineIrishlacecurtainsatthewindows.AndIswearshedressesforgardeningormarketingasifshe’shavinglunchatafive-star.Neverahairoutofplace,herlipstickneversmudged.Andshecan’t
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boilapotatowithoutdisasterfalling.”
Whenshepaused,drank,hepattedherlegandsaidnothing.
“She’slivinginarentalbarelybiggerthanthegardenshedwhereshelivedwithmyfather,keepsitlockedlikeavaultindefenseagainstthe
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bandsofthievesandvillainssheimagineslieinwait—andcan’tthinktoopenableedingwindowwhenshehasahousefullofsmoke.”
“Shecalledforyouthen.”
“Forme,ofcourse.Shecouldn’tverywellcallforDonal,ashewasathis
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work,andI’mjustplayingwiththehorses.Atmyleisure.”
Thenshesighed.“Shedoesn’tmeanitthatway,Iknowit,butitfeelsthatway.Sheneverworkedatajob.Shemarriedmyfatherwhenshewasbutagirl,andhesweptherup,gaveherafinehousewith
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stafftotendit,showeredherwithluxuries.Allshehadtodowasbehisprettyornamentandraisethechildren—entertain,ofcourse,butthatwasbeingaprettyornamentaswell,andtherewasMrs.Hannigantocookandmaidstoseetotherest.”
Tiredalloveragain,
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shelookeddownatherbeer.“Thenherworldcrasheddownaroundher.It’snotawondershe’shelplessaboutthemostpracticalthings.”
“Yourworldcrasheddownaswell.”
“It’sdifferent.Iwasyoungenoughtoadjusttothings,anddidn’tfeelthe
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shameshedid.IhadBrannaandyouandBoyleandFin.Shelovedhim.ShelovedJosephQuinn.”
“Didn’tyou,Meara?”“Lovecandie.”She
drankagain.“Hershasn’t.Shekeepshispictureinasilverframeinherroom.Itmakesmewanttoscreambloodyhellevery
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timeIseeit.He’snevercomingbacktoher,andwhywouldshehavehimifhedid?Butshewould.”
“It’snotyourheart,buthers.”
“Hersholdsontoanillusion,nottoreality.Butyou’reright.It’shers,notmine.”
Sheleanedherhead
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back,closedhereyes.“Yougothersettled
again?”“Cleanedupthemess
—she’dswampedthekitchenfloorwithwaterandpotatoes—andIcanbegratefulshe’dforgottentoturntheflameonunderthepotatoessoIdidn’thavethatsecondary
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disastertodealwith.She’llbehavingdinneratRyan’sHotelwithDonalandhisgirlnow.”
Herubbedahandonherthigh,soothing.“Onyourtab.”
“Themoney’stheleastofit.IrangMaureen,andhaditoutwithher.It’sherturn,fuckitall.Mary
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Clarelivestoofar.ButfromMaureen’s,MacouldseeMaryClareandherchildrenaswellascomebackhereforvisits.Andmybrother...Hiswife’sgrand,butitwouldbeeasierforMatolivewithherowndaughterthanherson’swife,I’mthinking.AndMaureen
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hastheroom,andasweet,easy-goerofahusband.”
“Whatdoesyourmotherwant?”
“Shewantsmyfatherback,thelifesheknewback,butasthat’snothappening,she’dbehappywiththechildren.She’sgoodwithchildren,lovesthem,hasendless
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patiencewiththem.IntheendMaureencamearound,foratleastatrialofit.Ibelieve—Iswearthisisthetruth—Ibelieveit’llbegoodforall.She’llbeagreathelptoMaureenwiththekids,andtheyloveher.She’llbehappylivingthere,inabigger,finerhouse,andaway
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fromherewheretherearetoomanymemoriesofwhatwas.”
“Ithinkyou’rerightonit,ifitmatters.”
Shesighedagain,drank.“Itdoes.She’snotonewhocanlivecontentandeasyalone.Donalneedstostarthislife.Ineedtohavemine.
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Maureen’stheanswertothis,andshe’llonlybenefitfromhavingherownmothermindthechildrenwhenshewantstogooutandabout.”
“It’sagoodplan,forall.”Hepattedherhand,thenroseatthebuzzofthetimer.“Nowit’spizzaforall,andyoucantell
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mewhat’sallthisaboutCabhan.”
Itwasn’ttheeveningshe’dimagined,butshefoundherselfrelaxing,despiteall.Pizza,eatenonthelivingroomsofa,filledtheholeinherbellyshehadn’trealizedwasthereuntilthefirstbite.Andthesecondbeerwentdown
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easy.“AsItoldBranna,it
wasallsoftanddreamy.IunderstandnowwhatIonameantwhenithappenedtoherlastwinter.It’sabitlikefloating,andnotbeingfullyinsideyourself.Thecold,”shemurmured.“I’dforgottenthat.”
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“Thecold?”“Before,rightbefore.It
gotcold,allofasudden.Ieventookmyglovesoutofmypocket.Andthewindcameupstrong.Thelightchanged.Ithadbeenabrightmorning,astheysaiditwould,butitwentgrayandgloomy.Cloudsrollingoverthesun,I
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thought,but...”Shedugbacknow,
mindclear,totrytoseeitasithadbeen.
“Shadows.Therewereshadows.Howcouldtherebeshadowswithoutthesun?I’dforgotten,didn’ttellBranna.Iwastoowoundup,Isuppose.”
“It’sallright.You’re
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tellingmenow.”“Theshadowsmoved
withme,andinthemIfeltwarm—butIwasn’t,Connor.Iwasfreezing,butIthoughtIwaswarm.Isthatsensibleatall?”
“IfyoumeandoIunderstand,Ido.Hismagick’sascoldasitisdark.Thewarmthwasa
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trickforyourmind,asthedesirewas.”
“TherestisasItoldyou.Himcallingmyname,andmestandingthere,withmyhandabouttopartthevines,wantingtogoin,somuch,wantingtoanswerthecallofmyname.AndRoibeardandKatheltomyrescue.”
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“Ifyou’veamindtowalkfromworktothecottage,orwhenyouguideyourcustomers,stayclearofthatarea,muchasyoucan.”
“Iwill,ofcourse.It’shabittakesmebythere,andhabitscanbebroken.Brannamademeacharminanycase.AsdidIona,
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andthenFinpushedyetanotheronme.”
Connordugintohispocket,pulledoutasmallpouch.“AsIam.”
“Mypocketswillbefullofmagickpouchesatthisrate.”
“Dothis.Keeponenearyourdoorhere,andoneinyourlorry,onenear
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yourbed—sleep’svulnerable.Thenoneinyourpocket.”Heputthepouchintoherhand,closedherfingersoverit.“Always,Meara.”
“Allright.That’safineplan.”
“Andwearthis.”Outofhispockethedrewalongthinbandofleather
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thatheldpolishedbeads.“It’spretty.WhyamI
wearingit?”“ImadeitwhenIwas
nomorethansixteen.It’sbluechalcedonyhere,andsomejasper,somejade.Thechalcedonyisgoodprotectionfrommagickofthedarksort,andthejade’shelpfulfor
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protectionfrompsychicattack—whichyou’vejustexperienced.Thejasper’sgoodallaroundasaprotectivestone.Sowearit,willyou?”
“Allright.”Sheslippeditoverherhead.“Youcanhaveitbackwhenwe’redonewiththis.It’scleverlydone,”sheadded,
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studyingit.“Butyou’vealwaysbeencleverwithyourhands.”
Theinstantthewordswereout,shewincedinwardlyatthephrase.“So,that’sfilledyouinonthehighsandlowsofmyday,andI’mgratefulforthepizza—evenifitcamefrommyownfreezer.”
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Shestartedtogetup,clearthedishes,buthejustputahandonherarm,nudgedherbackagain.
“Wehaven’tfinishedthecircleyet,aswe’vebeenworkingbackward.Andthattakesustolastnight.”
“Ialreadytoldyounothingwasmeantbyit.”
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“Whatyoutoldmewasbollocks.”
Theeasy,almostcheerfultoneofhisvoicemadeherwanttorailathim,soshedeliberatelykepthertonelevel.“I’vehadenoughupheavalforoneday,Connor.”
“Surewemightaswellgetitalloveranddoneat
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once.We’refriends,arewenot,Meara?”
“Weare,andthat’sexactlythepointI’mmaking.”
“Itwasn’tthekissofafriend,evenoneupsetandshaken,yougaveme.NorwasitthekissofafriendIgaveyouwhenIgotbeyondthefirstsurprise
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ofit.”Sheshrugged,toshow
howlittleitallmeant—andwishedherstomachwouldstopallthefluttering.You’dthinkshe’dswallowedaswarmofbutterfliesinsteadofhalfafrozenpizza.
“IfI’dknownyou’dbesowoundupaboutakiss,
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itwouldn’thavehappened.”
“Amanwhowasn’twoundupafterakisslikethatwould’vebeendeadforsixmonths.AndI’mbettinghe’dstillfeelastir.”
“ThatonlymeansI’mgoodatit.”
Hesmiled.“Iwouldn’t
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arguewithyourskill.I’msayingitwasn’tfriendtofriend,anddistress.Notthatalone.”
“Sothere’sabitoflustycuriosityaswell.That’snotasurprise,isit?We’readults,we’rehuman,andinthestrangestofsituations.Wehadaquick,hottangle,
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andthat’stheendofit.”Henoddedasif
consideringherpoint.“Iwouldn’targuewiththateither,butforonething.”
“Whatonething?”Heshiftedsoquickly
fromhiseasyslouchshedidn’thaveaninstanttoprepare.Hehadherscoopedup,shiftedas
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well,andhismouthonhers.
Anotherhottangle,fastanddeepanddeadlytothesenses.Somepartofhermindsaidtogivehimapunchandsetthingsright,buttherestofherwastoobusydevouringwhathegaveher.
Thenhetuggedonher
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braid—anold,affectionategesture,sotheirlipsparted,theirfacesstayedclose.Soclosetheeyessheknewaswellasherowntookondeeper,darkerhuesofgreenwithlittleshimmersofgoldscatteredthrough.
“Thatonething.”“It’sjust...”She
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movedinthistime,couldn’tresist,andfelthisheartraceagainsthers.“Physicality.”
“Isit?”“Itis.”Shemade
herselfpullback,thenstand—abitsafer,shethought,withsomedistance.“Andmore,Connor,weneedtothink,
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thebothofusneedtothink.It’sfriendsweare,andalwayshavebeen.Andnowpartofacirclethatcan’tberisked.”
“What’stherisk?”“Wehavesex—”“Agrandidea.I’mfor
it.”Thoughsheshookher
head,shehadtolaugh
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withit.“You’dbeforitonanhourlybasis.Butit’syouandmenow,andwithyouandmewhatiftherearecomplications,andthekindoftensionsthatcanhappen,thatdohappen,whensexcomesthroughthedoor?”
“Donewell,sexrelievesthetensions.”
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“Forabit.”Thoughjustnowthethoughtofit,withhim,broughtonplenty.“Butwemightcausemore—foreachother,fortheotherswhenwecanleastaffordit.Weneedtokeepourselvesfocusedonwhat’stobedone,andkeepthepersonalcomplications
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awayfromitasmuchaswecan.”
Easyasever,hepickeduphisbeertofinishitoff.“That’syourbusybrain,alwaysthinkingwhat’snextandnotlettingtherestofyouhavethemoment.”
“Amomentpassesintothenext.”
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“Exactly.Soifyoudon’tenjoyitbeforeitdoes,what’sthepointofitall?”
“Thepointisseeingclear,andbeingreadyforthenext—andthenextafterit.Andweneedtothinkaboutallofthis,andcarefully.Wecan’tjustjumpintobedbecausewe
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bothhaveanitch.Icareaboutyou,andalltheotherstoomuchforthat.”
“There’snothingyoucando,notanything,thatcouldshakemyfriendship.NotevensayingnoonthiswhenIwantyoutosayyesmorethan...well,morethanImightwant.”
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Hestoodaswell.“Sowe’llboththinkonit,giveitallalittletimeandseehowwefeel.”
“That’sthebest,isn’tit?It’sjustamatteroftakingtimetocoolitdown,thinkclearsowe’renotleapingintoanimpulsewecouldregret.We’rebothsmartand
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steadyenoughtodothat.”“Thenthat’swhatwe’ll
do.”Heofferedahandto
sealthedeal.Mearatookit,shook.
Thentheybothsimplystood,neitherbackingaway,movingforward,orlettinggo.
“Ahhell.We’renot
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goingtothinkatall,arewe?”
Heonlygrinned.“Nottonight.”
Theyleapedateachother.
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G
10
RAPPLINGWASN’THISUSUALWAY,BUTTHISWASsomething
so...explosivehelost
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hisrhythmandstyle.Hegrabbedwhateverhecouldgrab,tookwhateverhecouldtake.Andtherewassomuchofher—histall,curvyfriend.
Heallbutrippedoffhershirttogettomore.
Nostoppingnowforeitherofthem,forhereranneedsandurgesfar
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beyondcarefulandrationalthinking.Herewasthemoment,andthenextandthenextwouldhavetowait.
Thisbrightnewhungerforher,justher,mustbefed.
Butnot,herealized,standinginherlivingroomorrollingabouton
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thefloor.Hescoopedherup.“OhJesus,don’ttryto
carryme.You’llbreakyourback.”
“Myback’sstrongenough.”Heturnedhisheadtomeethermouthashewalkedtoherbedroom.
Crazy,shethought.They’dbothgone
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completelymad.Andshedidn’tgiveasinglebleedingdamn.Hecarriedher,andthoughhispurpose—andhers—washurry,itwasfoolishlyromantic.
Ifhestumbled,well,they’dfinishthingsoutwheretheylanded.
Buthedidn’tstumble.
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Hedroppedtothebedwithhersotheoldspringssqueakedinsurprise,gavewithagroantonestlethembothinahollowofmattressandbedding.
Andthosehands,thosemagickhandswerebusyandbeautiful.
Sheusedherowntopullandyankofflayersof
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clothesuntil,atlast—Godbepraised—shefoundskin.Warm,smooth—withthegoodfirmmusclesofamanwhousedthem.
Sherolledwithhim,strugglingashedidtostripoffeverybarrier.
“Bloodylayers,”hemuttered,andmadeher
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laughasshefoughtwiththebuckleofhisbelt.
“Wewould,bothofus,workoutdoors.”
“Goodthingit’sworththeunwrapping.Ah,thereyouare,”hemurmuredandfilledhishandswithherbarebreasts.
Firmandsoftandgenerous.Beautiful,
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bountiful.HecouldwriteanodetothegloryofMearaQuinn’sbreasts.Butatthemoment,hewantedonlytotouchthem,tastethem.Andfeelthewayherheartbeatkickedupfromcantertogallopatthebrushofhisfingers,lips,tongue.
Allthatwasmissing
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was...Hebroughtlightinto
thedark,asoft,palegoldlikeherskin.Whenhereyesmethis,hesmiled.
“Iwanttoseeyou.BeautifulMeara.Eyesofagypsy,bodyofagoddess.”
Hetouchedherashespoke.Nograpplingnow;
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he’dfoundhisrhythmafterall.Whyrushthroughsomethingsopleasurablewhenhecouldlingeroverit?Hecouldfeastonherbreastshalfalifetime.Thentherewereherlips,softandfull—andaseagerashis.Andhershoulders,strong,capable.Thesurprisingly
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sweetstemofherneck.Sensitivethere,justthereunderherjawsosheshiveredwhenhekissedit.
Helovedhowsheresponded—atremble,acatchofbreath,athroatymoan—ashelearnedherbody,inchbylovelyinch.
Outsidesomeone
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shoutedoutahalf-drunkengreeting,andfolloweditbyawildlaugh.
Buthere,inthenestofthebed,therewereonlysighs,murmurs,andthequietcreakofthespringsbeneaththem.
He’dtakenthereins,sherealized.Shedidn’t
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knowhowithappened,asshe’dnevergiventhemovertoanyoneelse.Butsomewherebetweenthehurryandthepatience,she’dsurrenderedthemtohim.
Hishandsglidedoverherasifhehadcenturiestopetandstrokeandlinger.Theykindledfires
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alongthewayuntilherbodyseemedtoshimmerintheheat,toglowunderherskinlikethelighthe’dconjured.
Shelovedthefeelofhim,thelongback,thenarrowhips,thehard,workingman’spalms.Hesmelledofthewoods,earthyandfree,andthe
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tasteofhim—lips,skin—wasthesame.
Hetastedofhome.Hetouchedwhereshe
achedtobetouched,tastedwhereshelongedforhislips.Andfoundothersecretplacesshehadn’tknownlongedforattention.Theinsideofherelbow,thebackofher
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knee,theinsideofherwrist.Hemurmuredtoher,sweetwordsthatreachedintoherheart.Anotherlighttoglow.
Heseemedtoknowwhentheglowbecameapulse,andthepulseathrobofneed.Soheansweredthatneed,drawingthepleasureup
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andupbeforespillingheroverintorelease.
Weakfromit,dazedbythefloodandtheflow,sheclungtohim,triedtorightherself.
“Amoment.Givemeamoment.”
“It’snow,”hesaid.“Itshouldbenow.”
Andslidinsideher.
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Tookhermouthashetookher,deepandslow.
Itshouldbenow,hethoughtagain.Forshewasopenforhimtofill.Warmandwetforhim.
Hermoan,asoundofwelcome;herarmsstrongropestobindhimclose.
Sherosetohim,wrappedthoselonglegs
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aroundhim.Movedwithhimasifthey’dcometogetherlikethis,justlikethis,overahundredlifetimes.Intheglowhe’dmade,intheglowthatgleamednowfromwhattheymadetogether,hewatchedher.Dubheasa.Dark
beauty.
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Watchedheruntilwhattheymadeoverwhelmedhim,andthepleasuredeepeneddarkashereyes.Inthedarkandthelight,hesurrenderedtoherasshehadtohim.Andlethertakehimwithher.
***
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SHELAY,BASKING.SHE’DEXPECTED—ONCESHE’DACCEPTEDshewashavingsexwithConnor—arollickingroughandtumble.Insteadshe’dbeen...tended,pleasured,evenseduced,andwithadelicatetouch.
Andhadnocomplaintswhatsoever.
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Nowherbodyfeltalllooseandsoftandweakintheloveliestofways.
She’dknownhe’dbegoodatit—Godknewhe’dhadthepractice—butshehadn’tknownhe’dbeabsolutelybloodybrilliant.
Soshecouldsighnowinuttersatisfaction—with
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herhandrestingonhisveryfineass.
Justasshesighed,itoccurredtohershecouldn’tpossiblyhavemeasuredup.She’dbeentakenbysurprise,shethought,andsurelyhadn’tdoneherbestwork—sotospeak.
Wasthatwhyhewas
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currentlylyingonherlikeadeadman?
Shemovedherhand,notquitesurenowwhattodoorsay.
Hestirred.“Isupposeyou’re
wantingmetogetoffyou.”
“Ah...Well.”Herolled,sprawledon
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hisback.Whenhesaidnothingatall,sheclearedherthroat.
“Andwhatnow?”“I’mthinking,”hesaid.
“Thatoncewetakeabitofabreather,wedoitalloveragain.”
“Icandobetter.”“Betterthanwhat?”“ThanIdid.Iwas
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takenoff-balance.”Hetrailedafinger
lazilydownherside.“Ifyou’ddonebetter,Imightneedweeksofabreather.”
Unsurewhatthatmightmean,exactly,shepushedupenoughtoseehisface.Sincesheknewwhatasatisfiedmalelookedlike,sherelaxedagain.
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“Soitwentwellforyouthen.”
Heopenedhiseyes,lookedintohers.“I’mconsideringhowtoanswerthat,forifItellthetruthyoumightsay:Sinceitwentsowell,that’sallforyoutonight.AndIwantyouagainbeforeI’veevencaughtmy
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breath.”Heslidanarmunder
her,drewherover,cuddledherinsotheywerenosetonose.“Anddiditgowellforyou?”
“I’mconsideringhowtoanswerthat,”shesaidandmadehimgrin.
“I’vemissedseeingyounaked.”
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“Youhaven’tseenmenakedbeforetonight.”
“SurehaveyouforgottenthenightyouandmeandBrannaandBoyleandFinsnuckoutandawaytoswimintheriver?”
“Wenever—Oh,that.”Content,shetangledupherlegswithhis.“Iwas
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nomorethannine,yougit!”
“Butnakedallthesame.I’llsayyougrewupandaroundverywellindeed.”Heranahanddownherback,overherass,leftitthere.“Verywellindeed.”
“Andyouyourself,ifmemoryservesme,were
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builtlikeapunystick.You’vedonewellyourself.Wehadfunthatnight,”sheremembered.“Frozeourarses,thelotofus,butitwasgrand.Innocent,allofus,andnotaworryintheworld.Buthe’dhavebeenwatchingus,eventhen.”
“No.”Connortouched
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afingertoherlips.“Don’tbringhimhere,nottonight.”
“You’reright.”Shebrushedahandthroughhishair.“Howmany,doyouthink,arewherewearetonightwhohaveallthoseyearsandmemoriesbetweenthem?”
“Notmany,Iexpect.”
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“Wecan’tlosethat,Connor.Wecan’tlosewhatwearetoeachother,toBranna,toall.Wehavetoswearanoathonit.Wewon’tloseevenabreathofthefriendswe’veeverbeen,whateverhappens.”
“ThenI’llswearittoyou,andyoutome.”Hetookherhand,interlaced
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hisfingerswithhers.“Asacredoath,nevertobebroken.Friendswe’veeverbeen,andeverwillbe.”
Shesawthelightglowingthroughtheirjoinedfingers,feltthewarmthofit.“Iswearittoyou.”
“AndItoyou.”He
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kissedherfingers,thenhercheek,thenherlips.“Ishouldtellyousomethingelse.”
“Whatisit?”“I’vemybreathback
now.”Andwhenshelaughed,
herolledbackontopofher.
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***
SHE’DSHAREDBREAKFASTWITHHIMBEFORE,COUNTLESStimes.Butneveratthelittletableinherflat—andneveraftersharingtheshowerwithhim.
Hecouldcounthimselflucky,shedecided,that
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she’dpickedupsomenicecroissantsfromthecafewhenshe’dgottendessertforhermother.
Alongwiththemshemadeherusualstandby—oatmeal—whilehedealtwiththeteaasshehadn’tanycoffeeinthepantry.
“We’retomeettonight,”heremindedher,
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andbitintoacroissant.“Thesearebrilliant.”
“Theyare.Idon’tstepfootintothecafeoftenasI’dbuyadozenofeverything.I’llgobythecottagestraightfromthestables,”sheadded.“AndhelpBrannawiththecookingifIcan.It’sgoodwe’remeetingregular
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now,thoughIdon’tknowasanyofussuddenlyhadageniusideaonwhattodo,exactly,andwhentodoit.”
“Well,we’rethinking,andtogether,sosomethingwillcome.”
Hebelievedit,andthecroissantsonlyhelpedboosthisoptimism.
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“Whydon’tItakeyoutothestablesonmyway,andjustfetchyouwhenwe’rebothdone?It’dsaveyouthepetrol,andseemsfoolishforustoeachtakeourlorries.”
“Thenyou’dhavetobringmehomeafter.”
“Thatwasthecannypartofmyplan.”He
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heftedhisteaasiftoastinghimself.“I’llbringyouback,staywithyouagainifthat’sallright.Oryoucouldjuststayatthecottage.”
Shedownedteahe’dmadestrongenoughtobreakstone.“WhatwillBrannathinkofthis?”
“We’llbefindingout
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soonenough.Wewouldn’thideitfromher,eitherofus,evenifwecould.Whichwecouldn’t,”headdedwithaneasyshrug,“asshe’llknow.”
“They’llallneedtoknow.”Nopoint,Mearadecided,beingdelicateaboutitall.“It’sonly
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right.Notjustbecausewe’refriendsandfamily,butbecausewe’reacircle.Whatwearetoeachother...that’sthecircle,isn’tit?”
Hescannedherfaceasshepushedoatmealaroundinherbowl.“Itshouldn’tworryyou,Meara.We’vearightto
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bewitheachotherthiswayaslongaswebothwantit.Nonewhocareforuswouldthinkorfeelotherwise.”
“That’sright.Butthenasfarasmyotherfamily—mybloodkin—I’dassoonnotbringthemintoit.”
“That’sforyoutosay.”
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“It’snotthatI’mashamedofit,Connor,youmustn’tthinkthat.”
“Idon’tthinkthat.”Hiseyebrowsliftedashetookaspoonfulofheroatmeal,broughtituptohermouthhimself.“Iknowyou,don’tI?WhywouldIthinkthat,knowingyou?”
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“That’sanadvantagebetweenus.It’sthatmymotherwouldstartfussing,andinvitingyoutodinner.Icouldn’ttakeanotherkitchendisasterontheheelsofthelast—andmyfinancescan’ttakeabiggertabatRyan’sHotel.Inanycase,she’llbeoffforhervisitwith
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Maureensoon—andunlessthat’safreshdisaster,it’llbeapermanentmove.”
“You’llmissher.”“I’dlikethechance
to.”Shehuffedoutabreath,butatesomeoatmealbeforehetookitintohisheadtofeedheragain.“Andthatsounds
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mean,butit’spuretruth.IthinkI’dhaveabettertimewithheriftherewassomedistance.And...”
“And?”“Ihadamoment
yesterday,whileIwasrushingoverthere,notsurewhatI’dfind.Isuddenlythought,whatifCabhan’sbeenather,as
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he’dbeenatme?Itwasfoolish,ashe’snoreasonto,andneverhas.ButIthoughtaswellofwhatyousaidaboutfeelingbetterknowingyourparentswereawayfromthis.I’llresteasierknowingthataboutmymother.Thisisforustodo.”
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“Andsowewill.”
***
HEDROPPEDHEROFFATTHESTABLES,THENCIRCLEDaroundtogohomeandchangeoutofyesterday’sworkclothes.
HefoundBranna
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alreadyup—notdressedforthedayasyet,buthavinghercoffeewithSorcha’sspellbookonceagainopeninfrontofher.
“Well,goodmorningtoyou,Connor.”
“Andtoyou,Branna.”Shestudiedhimover
therimofhermug.“AndhowisourMearathisfine
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morning?”“She’swell.I’vejust
droppedheratthestables,butwantedtochangebeforeIwenttowork.Andwantedtoseehowyoufaredaswell.”
“I’mfitandfine,thoughIcansayyoulookfitterandfiner.You’vehadbreakfastItakeit?”
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“Ihave,yes.”Buthelikedthelooksoftheglossygreenapplesshe’dputinabowl,andtookone.“Doesthisbotheryou,Branna?Mearaandmyself?”
“WhywoulditwhenIloveyouboth,andhaveseenthepairofyoucarefultoskirtroundthe
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edgesofwhatmybrilliantbraindeducesoccurredlastnight—foryears.”
“Ineverthoughtofherinthatwaybefore...Before.”
“Youdid,buttoldyourselfnotto,whichisdifferententirely.You’dneverhurther.”
“OfcourseIwouldn’t.”
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“Andshe’dnevermeantohurtyou.”Which,Brannathought,wasanotherthingdifferententirely.“Sexispowerful,andIthinkwillonlyaddtothestrengthandpowerofthecircle.”
“Obviously,weshould’vejumpedintobedbeforethis.”
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Sheonlylaughed.“Thepairofyouhadtobewillingandwanting.Sexonlytotakepower?That’saselfishact,anddamagingintheend.”
“Icanpromisewewerebothwillingandwanting.”Hebitintotheapple,whichtastedastartandcrispasitlooked.
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“Andit’soccurringtomeIleftyouonyourownlastnight.”
“Don’tinsultme.”Brannabrushedthataside.“Icanmorethantakecareofmyselfandourhome,asyouwellknow.”
“Idoknowit.”Hepickedupthepottotopoffhercoffee.“AndstillI
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don’tlikeleavingyouonyourown.”
“I’velearnedtotolerateahousefulofpeople,evenenjoyit.ButasyouknowmeyouknowIprizebeingonmyowninaquiethouse.”
“AsI’dswitchtheprizeandtoleratearound,it’sawonderwecame
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fromthesameparentsattimes.”
“Itmaybeyouwereleftonthedoorstepandtakeninoutofpity.Butyou’rehandyenoughtohavearoundwhenafaucet’sdrippingoradoorsqueaks.”
Hepulledherhair,crunchedhisapple.“Still,
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youcan’taskustogiveyouthatquietandalonetoooftentillthisisdone.”
“SureIwon’t.I’maftermakingbeefbourguignonforthehordeofustonight.”
Heraisedhiseyebrows.“Fancy.”
“I’minthemoodforfancy,andyou’llsee
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someonebringssomegoodredwine,andplentyofit.”
“ThatI’lldo.”Hetossedtheapplecoreinthecompostpail,walkedover,kissedthetopofherhead.“Iloveyou,Branna.”
“Iknowit.Goonandchangeyourclothes
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beforeyou’relateforwork.”
Whenheleft,shesatlookingawayandoutthewindow.Shewantedhimhappy,moreeventhanshewantedhappinessforherself.Andyet,knowinghewasonhiswaytofindingwhathedidn’tyetknowhewantedmadeher
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feelsopainfullyalone.Sensingit,Kathelrose
frombeneaththetable,laidhisheadinherlap.Soshesat,strokingthedog,andreturnedtoporingoverthespellbook.
***
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IONASTEPPEDINTOTHETACKROOMWHEREMEARAorganizedtheequipmentneededforherfirstguidedrideofthemorning.
“It’scomingtimeforanothergoodgoing-overofeverythinginhere,”Mearasaidcheerfully.“I’mtakingoutapartyoffour,twobrothersand
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theirwiveswho’vecometoAshfordforabigfamilyweddingontheweekend.Theirnieceitis,havingtheweddingatBallintubberAbbey,whereyouandBoylewillmarrynextspring,thenbacktoAshfordthey’llallcomeforthereception.”
“YouandConnorhad
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sex.”Mearalookedup,and
blinkingdramaticallybegantopatherselffrontandback.“AmIwearingasignthen?”
“You’vebeensmilingallmorning,andsinging.”
“I’vebeenknowntosmileandsingwithouthavingsexbeforehand.”
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“Youdon’tsingthewholetimeyou’remuckingstalls.Andyoulookreally,reallyrelaxed,whichyouwouldn’t,withoutsex,afteradaylikeyouhadyesterday.SinceyoukissedConnor,youhadsexwithhim.”
“Somepeopleareknowntokisswithout
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havingsex.Anddon’tyouhavealessonintheringontheschedule?”
“Ihavefiveminutes,andthisisthefirsttimeIcouldcatchyoualone.UnlessyouwantBoyletoknow.Itwaswonderful,itwasgoodoryouwouldn’tlooksohappy.”
“Itwaswonderfuland
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good,andit’snotasecret.ConnorandIbothagree—aswe’reacircle,andsomethinglikethiscanchangematters,thoughitwon’t—allshouldknowwe’retogetherthatway.Rightnow.”
Shegatheredreins,bit,saddle,blanket.“Soweare.”
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“You’regoodtogether—You’rehappy,”Ionaadded,haulingupmoretackherselfandfollowingMearaout.“Soyou’regoodtogether.Whydoyousayrightnow?”
“Becauserightnowisrightnow,andwhoknowswhattomorrowmightbe?YouandBoylecanlook
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forward—you’rebothbuiltthatway.”ShesteppedintoMaggie’sstall,themareshe’dchosenforoneofthewomen.“I’maday-at-a-timesortonmatterslikethis.”
“AndConnor?”“I’veneverknownhim
tobeotherwiseonany
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matter.That’sforCaesar.JustleaveitthereandI’lltendtoit.Youhavealesson.”
“Atleasttellme,wasitromantic?”
“You’vesuchasoftheart,Iona,butIcantellyouitwas.Andthatwasunexpected,andreallylovely.”Foramoment,
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justamoment,sheleanedhercheekagainstMaggie’ssoftneck.“Ithought,well,onceitwasclearweweregoingforward,we’djusttearin.But...hemadetheroomglow.Andmewithit.”
“That’sbeautiful.”Ionasteppedin,huggedMearahard.“Just
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beautiful.NowI’mhappy,too.”
IonaledAlastar,herbig,beautifulgray,alreadysaddledandwaiting,outofhisstall,towardthering.SmiledassheheardMearasingingagain.
“She’sinlove,”Ionamurmuredtoherhorse,
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andrubbedhisstrongneck.“Shejustdoesn’tknowityet.”WhenAlastarnuzzledher,shelaughed.“Iknow,she’sstillglowingsome.Isawit,too.”
Mearaswitchedtohummingassheledhorsestothepaddock,loopedreinsaroundthe
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fence.Sheturnedtogobackforthelast,spottedBoylebringingRufusalong.
“Thanksforthat.SinceIona’sgotalessongoinginthering,I’lltakethegrouparoundthepaddockabit,besurethey’reasexperiencedastheysaybeforewestartoff.”
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Shelookedup.“It’safineday,isn’tit?It’snicethey’vebookedafullhour.”
“Andwe’vejusthadsomeoneelseringuptobookanotherfour-groupfornoon.Thiswedding’sbringingthemalong.”
“Icantakethataswell.”Shehadenergy
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enoughtorideandmuckandgroomalldayandhalfthenight.“Ioweyoufortakingsomuchtimeawayyesterday.”
“Wewon’tstartowingaroundhere,”hesaid,“butitwouldhelpifyoucouldasIona’sgottwoathalften,Mick’sdoingalessonateleven,andwith
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Pattyatthedentistthismorning,andDeborahbookedforoneo’clock,we’reabitsqueezed.Still,Icoulddoitmyself.”
“Youhatedoingtheguideds,andIdon’tmindatall.”Shegavehimapatonthecheek,hadhimgivingherahardstare.
“You’reacheerfulsort
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thismorning.”“Andwhywouldn’tI
be?”sheaskedasfourpeoplestrolledtowardthestables.“It’sabrightdayatlast,mymother’sgoingforalongvisitwithastrongpotentialofapermanentmovetoMaureen’s,andIhadhotandbrilliantsexwith
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Connorlastnight.”“It’sgoodyour
mother’shavingavisitwith—What?”
MearahadtosmotherasnortatthewayBoyle’smouthhungopen.“IhadsexwithConnorlastnight,andthismorningaswell.”
“You...”Hetrailed
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off,shovedhishandsinhispockets,soabsolutelyBoyleshecouldn’tresistpattinghischeekagain.
“Isuspecthe’scheerfulhimself,butyoucanaskhimyourselfatthefirstopportunity.It’stheMcKinnons,isit?”Mearacalledoutasshewent,smilingalltheway,to
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meethermorninggroup.Inshortorder,withthe
paperworkdone,andherignoringBoyle’squestioningstares,shehadhergroupoutfittedandmounted.
“Wellnow,Icanseeyouallknowwhatyou’reabout,”shesaidwhenthey’dwalkedandtrotted
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aroundthepaddock.Sheopenedthegateforthem,mountedQueenBee.
“You’vepickedafinemorning,andthere’snobetterwaytoseewhatyou’llseethanonthebackofahorse.AndhowareyouenjoyingyourstayatAshford?”shebegan,slidingintoeasysmall
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talkassheledthemawayfromthestables.
Sheansweredquestions,letthemchatamongthemselves,turnedinthesaddlenowandagainjusttocheck—andtoletthemknowtheyhadherattention.
Itwaslovely,shethought,toridethrough
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thewoodswiththeskyblueoverhead,withtheearthyperfumesofautumnwaftingonthesoftandprettybreeze.ThescentsremindedherofConnor,hadhersmilebrightening.
Thentherehewas,outandaboutwithhisowngrouponahawkwalk.He
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woreaworkvestbutnocapsohishairdancedaroundhisface,teasedbythatsoftandprettybreeze.Heshotheragrinashebaitedhisclient’sglove,andthewifereadiedhercamera.
“Familyofyours?”MearaaskedashergroupandConnor’scalledoutto
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eachother.“Cousins—our
husbands’.”Thewoman—Deirdre—moveduptoridebesideMearaforamoment.“Wetalkedabouttryingthehawkwalkourselves.”
“Sureandyoushould.It’sawonderfulexperiencetotakeback
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withyou.”“Doallthefalconers
looklikethatone?”“Oh,thatwouldbe
Connorwhorunstheschool.Andhe’soneofakind.”Ihadsexwithhimbeforebreakfast,shethought,andshotagrinofherownbackathimassheledhergroupon.
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“Connor,”sheheardthewomansayasshefellinbehindMeara.“Jack,weshouldallbookthathawkwalk.”
Underthecircumstances,Mearacouldn’tblameher.
Sheledthemalongtheriver,enjoyedthem,enjoyedtheride.Shetook
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themdeepintothegreenwheretheshadowsthickened,andoutagainwherethatblueskyshoneoverthetrees.
Whenshebegantocirclethemback,shesawthewolf.
Justashadowintheshadows,withitspawssunkintomist.Thestone
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arounditsneckgleamedlikeaneyeevenasthewolfitselfseemedtowaverlikeavapor.
Herhorsetrembledunderher.“Steadynow,”shemurmured,keepinghergazeonthewolfasshestrokedQueenBee’sneck.“Youbesteadynowandtherestwillfollow
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yourlead.You’rethequeen,remember.”
Thewolfpacedthem,comingnocloser.
Birdsnolongersanginthewoods;squirrelsnolongerracedbusilyalongthebranches.
MearatookthenecklaceConnorhadgivenherfromunderher
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sweater,helditoutalittlesothestonescaughtthelight.
Behindher,hergroupchattedaway,oblivious.
Thewolfshoweditsfangs;Mearaputahandontheknifesheworeonherbelt.Ifitcame,shewouldfight.Protectthepeoplesheguided,the
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horses,herself.Shewouldfight.Thehawkdived—from
theblue,throughthegreen.
Mearanomorethanblinked,andtheshadowofthewolfwasgone.
“Oh,there’soneofthehawks!”Deidrepointedtothebranchwherethebird
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perchednow,wingsfolded.“Didhegetloose?”
“No,notatall.”Mearasteadiedherself,puthersmilebackinplaceassheturnedinthesaddle.“That’sConnor’sownRoibeard,havingabitoffunbeforegoingbacktotheschool.”
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Sheliftedherhandtothenecklaceagain,androdeeasilyoutofthewoods.
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T
11
HEMINUTEHECOULDGETAWAY,CONNORDROVEaroundtothe
stables.Toomanypeople
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abouttotalk,hedecidedimmediately,butwithMearachattingwithagroupshe’djustguidedback,atleastheknewjustwhereshewasandwhatshewasdoing.
HetrackedBoyledowninthestalls,givingCaesararubdown.
“Busydays,”Boyle
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said.“Thiswedding’sbroughtinasmuchbusinessaswecanhandle.”
“Andthesameforus.We’veourlasttwohawkwalksofthedaygoingnow.”
“We’vetwooutourselves,thoughMearashouldbebackanytime.”
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“She’sjustback.”Absently,ConnorstrokedthebiggeldingasBoylebrushedhimout.“Canyousetherloose,ordoyouneedherlongertoday?”
“We’vetheeveningfeedingsyet,andIona’satthebigstablesonalesson.”
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“You’llkeepherclosethen?I’llrunbackandsettlemyownbusinessfortheevening.IsFinwithIona?”
“He’shomeifthat’swhatyou’remeaning,andsettotakehertoyourplacewhenthey’rebothdone.”Connor’stonehadBoylesettingthe
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currycombaside.“There’saworry.Whatisit?”
“Cabhan.Hewasouttoday,stalkingMearaonherguided.Andmyselfabit.Nothingcameofit,”ConnorsaidwhenBoylecursed.“Andhewasn’tquitethere—notfullyphysically.”
“Washethereor
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wasn’the?”Boyledemanded.
“Hewas,butmoreashadow.It’sanewthing,andsomethingtodiscusstonightwhenwe’realltogether.ButI’dfeeleasierifIknewyouwerewithheruntilI’mdone.”
“I’llkeepherwithme.”Boylepulledouthis
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phone.“AndbesureFindoesthesamewithIona.AndBranna?”
“Roibeard’skeepingawatchonall,andMerlin’swithhim.ButI’llbehappieraltogetherwhenthesixofusaretogetherathome.”
***
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ITTOOKNEARANHOURTOSETTLETHEBIRDSFORTHEnight,andclearupsomepaperworkKyraleftmeaningfullyonhisdesk.Hetookmoretimetoaddyetanotherlayerofprotectionaroundtheschool.Cabhanhadgotten
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intothestablesonce.Hemighttryforthehawks.
Bythetimehe’ddoneallthatneededdoing,lockeduptight,thebrightnesshadgoneoutoftheday.Justshorterdays,hethoughtashestoodamoment,openedhimself.Hefeltnothreat,nowatchfulpresence.Helet
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himselfreachouttoRoibeard,joinwiththehawk—andsawclearlythestables,thewoods,thecottage,peacefulbelow,throughhishawk’seyes.
TherewasMick,squatasasparkplug,climbingintohislorry,givingawaveoutthewindowtoPattiasthegirlswung
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ontoherbike.Andthere,spread
belowhim,Fin’sgrandstonehouse,andthefieldsandpaddocks.IonasoaringoverajumpwithAlastar.
Ashortglide,soaringonthewindand,below,Brannapickingherbsinherkitchengarden.She
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straightened,lookedup,looked,itseemed,rightintohiseyes.
Andshesmiled,liftedahandbeforetakingherherbsinsidewithher.
All’swell,Connortoldhimself,andthoughtherewasalwaysjustahintofregret,camefullybacktoearth.Satisfied,he
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climbedintothelorry.Hedrovearoundtothe
stables—andfeltawarmhuminhisbloodashewatchedMearacomeoutwithBoyle.Shewasabeautyforcertain,hethought,anearthyoneinaroughjacketandworkpants,andbootsthathadlikelyseenhundredsof
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kilometers,onthegroundandonhorseback.
Later,he’dhavethepleasureofremovingthosewornboots,thoseridingpants.Andunwindingthatthickbraidsohecouldsurroundhimselfwithwavesofbrownhair.
“Boyle,areyou
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wantingalift?”hecalledthroughtheopenwindow.
“Thanks,butno.I’llfollowyouover.”
Soheleanedleft,shovedthedooropenforMeara.
Shejumpedin,smellingofhorsesandgrainandsaddlesoap.“ChristJesus,thiswasa
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dayandahalfshovedintoone.TheMcKinnonpartyisleavingnostoneunturned.We’vegotgroupsofthemcomingtomorrowupthroughtwoo’clock,withthewedding,I’mtold,atfive.”
“Thesameforus.”Sinceshemadeno
move,heputahandon
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thebackofherhead,drewheroverforakiss.“Goodeveningtoyou.”
“Andtoyou.”Herlipscurved.“Iwonderedifyou’dfeelalittleoffcenterafterthinkingitoverforaday.”
“Notmuchtimetothink,butI’mbalancedwellandgood.”
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Heturnedthelorry,headedawayfromthestableswithBoylefallinginbehind.
“Didyouseethewolf?”heaskedher.
“Idid,yes.Boylecouldn’tsaymuchaswehadthecrewaboutnearlytillyoucame,buthesaidyoudidaswell.Butas
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withme,itwasmoreashadow.”
Sheshiftedtofacehim,frowned.“Still,notonlyashadow,ashebaredhisfangs,andIsawthemclear,andtheredstone.DidyousendRoibeard?”
“Ididn’thaveto;hewenttoyouonhisown.ButIknewfromhimthe
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wolfonlykeptpacewithyouforaminuteortwo.”
“Enoughforthehorsestosenseit.Mybiggestworry,totellthetruth,wasthatthehorseswouldspook.Whichtheymighthavedone,butIhadagroupofexperiencedriders.Andtheythemselves?Theysawand
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sensednothing.”“I’vebeenthinkingon
thewhysandhowsofthat.IwanttoseewhatBrannaandFinandIonahavetosay.AndIwanttoaskyoutostaytonightatthecottage.”
“Idon’thavemythings,”shebegan.
“Youhavethingsatthe
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cottage,enoughtogetyouthrough.Youcanthinkofitasustakingturns.Staytonight,Meara.Sharemybed.”
“Areyouaskingbecauseyouwantmetoshareyourbed,orbecauseyou’reworriedaboutmebeingonmyown?”
“Itwouldbeboth,but
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ifyouwon’tstay,I’llbesharingyourbed.”
“That’safineanswer,”shedecided.“Itworkswellforme.I’llstaytonight.”
Hetookherhand,leanedtowardherwhenhestoppedthelorryinfrontofthecottage.Andcouldalreadyfeelthekiss
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movingthroughhimbeforetheirmouthsmet.
Thelorryshookasiffromaquake,joltedasthewolfpounced.
Itsnarled,eyesandstonegleamingred,thenwithahowlechoingwithtriumph,leapedoff.Andwasgone.
“HolyJesus!”Meara
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managedaninstantbeforeConnorshovedoutofthelorry.“Wait,wait.Itmightstillbeoutthere.”Sheyankedatherowndoor,shoved,butitheldfirmagainsther.
“Goddamnit,Connor.Goddamnit,letmeout.”
HeonlyflickedheraglanceasRoibeardlanded
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lightasdownonhisshoulder.
Inthatmoment,inthatglance,itwaslikelookingatastranger,onesparkingwithpowerandrage.Lightswirledaroundhim,likeacurrentthatwouldsurelyshocktothetouch.
She’dknownhimthewholeofherlife,she
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thoughtasherbreathbackedupinherlungs,butshe’dneverseenhimtruly,fullyuntilthatmomentwhenthefullforceandfuryofwhatraninhisbloodrevealeditself.
ThenBrannarushedfromthehouse,withKathelthunderingout
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withher.Herhair,ravenblack,flewbehindher.Shehadashortswordinonehand,aballofhotbluefireformingintheother.
Mearasawtheireyesmeet,hold.Inthatexchangeshesawabondshecouldnevershare,neverreallyknow.Not
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justofpowerandmagick,butofbloodandpurposeandknowledge.
Thereshesawakinshipthatrandeeper,widereventhanlove.
Beforeshe’dcaughtherbreathagain,Fin’sfancycarspunup.HeandIonaboltedfromeitherside.Sothefourofthem
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stood,united,formingacircle,onewherethelightundulatedandspreaduntilitstunghereyes.
Itdiedaway,anditwasonlyherfriends,herlover,standinginfrontoftheprettycottagewithitsblazeofflowers.
Nowwhenshepushedatthedoor,itsprangopen
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—andshesprangout.Shemarchedstraightto
Connor,shovedhimhardenoughtoknockhimbackastep.“Don’tyoueverlockmeinoroutagain.Iwon’tbeclosedoffortuckedawaylikesomeonehelpless.”
“I’msorry.Iwasn’tthinkingclear.Itwas
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wrongofme,andI’msorryforit.”
“You’venoright,norighttoclosemeoutofit.”
“Orme,”Boylesaid,hisfaceripewithfury,whenhestrodeupbesideher.“BegratefulIdon’tbreakyourheadforit.”
“It’sgratefulIam,and
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sorryaswell.”Mearasawforthefirst
timeAlastarhadcome—hemusthaveallbutflownfromthestables.Sotherewashorse,hawk,andhound;thedarkwitchesthree;andthebloodofCabhan,withhisownhawkstandingnowwithRoibeardonthebranchof
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anearbytree.Andtherewasherself
andBoyle.“We’reacircleor
we’renot.”“Weare.”Connortook
herhands,grippedthemonlytighterwhenshestartedtoyankthemfree.“Weare.Itwaswrongofme.Ijumpedstraightinto
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thefuryofit,andthatwaswrongaswell.Andfoolish.Ishutyououtofit,bothofyou,andthatshowedyounorespect.I’llsayagain,I’msorryforit.”
“Allrightthen.”Boyleshovedathishair.“BloodyhellIcoulddowithabeer.”
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“Goonin,”Brannatoldhim,glancedaroundattheothers.“Helpyourselftowhatyouwant.IneedamomentwithMeara.AmomentwithMeara,”sherepeatedwhenConnorcontinuedtogripMeara’shands.“Go,haveabeerandopenthewineFinshould’ve
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broughtwithhim.”“AndsoIdid.”Finwenttohiscar,
fetchedoutthreebottles.“Comeonthen,Connor.Wecouldalldowithadrinkafterthisday.”
“Yeah.”WithsomereluctanceConnorreleasedMeara’shands,wentinsidewithhis
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friends.“I’veeveryrighttobe
pissed,”Mearabegan,andfoundherhandstakenagain.
“Youdo,yes,youdo,butnotonlywithConnor.IneedtotellyouthatwhenIranoutside,Iknewatoncewhathe’ddone,andIwasrelieved.I’m
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sorryforit,butIcan’tlethimtakefullblame.”
Stunned,andwoundedtothecore,MearastaredatBranna.“DoyouthinkbecauseBoyleandIdon’thavewhatyouhave,aren’twhatyouare,wecan’tfightwithyou?”
“Ithinknothingofthekind,nordoesConnor.Or
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Iona,andIimagineshe’llbemakingthissameconfessiontoBoyle.”WhenBrannaletoutabreath,thesoundofitwasregret.
“Itwasamoment,Meara,andtheweaknesswasonourpart,notyours.Youfoughtwithusonthesolstice,andIdon’twant
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tothinkwhatmighthavehappenedwithoutyou,withoutBoyle.Butforamoment,intherushofit,Ionlythought,ah,they’llbesafe.Thatwasmyweakness.Itwon’thappenagain.”
“I’mstillmadaboutit.”
“Idon’tblameyoua
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bitforthat.Butcomeinside,we’llhavesomewineandtalkaboutallofit.”
“Therewasnothingweakaboutthefourofyou,”Mearasaid,butshestartedinsidewithBranna.“Thepowerofyoutogetherwasblinding.AndConnoralone,before
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youcame...Isawhimonthesolstice,butthatwasabluroffearandactionandviolenceallatonce.I’veneverseenhimashewasforthatmomentyouspeakof.Alone,withthehawkonhisshoulder,andsofullofwhatheis...radiantIsupposeistheword,thoughitseems
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toosoftandbenignforit.IthoughtifItouchedhimnowitwouldburn.”
“He’sslowtoanger,ourConnor,asyouknow.Whenhereachesit,it’sfierce—butneverbrutal.”
BeforeBrannashutthedoorshetookalonglastlookatthewoods,attheroad,attheblazeof
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flowersalonghercottageskirts.ShewentwithMearabacktothekitchenwherethewinewasopen,andtheairsmelledoftherich,silkysauceshe’dspentagoodchunkofherdaypreparing.
“It’sneartoready,”sheannouncedandtookthewineFinpouredher.
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“Sothelotofyoucanmakeyourselfusefulgettingthetableset.”
“Itsmellsamazing,”Ionacommented.
“Becauseitis.Wecantalkaboutallofthiswhilewefeast.Connor,there’sbreadwrappedinthecloththere.”
Hegotit,setitout,
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turnedtoMeara.“AmItobeforgiven?”
“Ihaven’tgottenthereyet.ButI’mmovinginthatgeneraldirection.”
“ThenI’llbegratefulforthat.”
Brannaservedthebeefbourguignononalongplattershowcasingtheherbedbeefand
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vegetablesinthedarksauce,surroundedbyroastednewpotatoesandgarnishedwithsprigsofrosemary.
“Itreallyisafeast,”Ionamarveled.“Itmusthavetakenhours.”
“Itdid,sonoone’sallowedtoboltitdown.”Brannaladleditherself
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intoherprettyshallowbowlsbeforeshesat.“Andso,allofushavehadadayortwo.”Shespreadhernapkinacrossherlapbeforespooningupthefirstsample.“Meara,youshouldbegin.”
“Well,Isupposeweallknowwherewewere
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beforethismorning,butwe’venotbeentogethertotalkovertoday.Iwasguidingagroupoffour,andinfact,werodebyConnor,whohadagroupofhisown.Itookthemaroundthelongestrouteweuse,evenletthemhaveabitofatrothereandthere,astheywereall
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solidhorsemen.Itwaswhenwe’dcircledback,andwerecomingthroughthewoods,thenarrowtrailnow.Isawthewolfinthetrees,watching,keepingpace.But...”
Shesearchedforthewords.“Hewasliketheshadowsthatplaythere,whenthesundapples
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throughtheleaves.Moreformedthanthat,butnotformed.IfeltIcouldalmostseethroughhim,thoughIcouldn’t.Thehorsessaworsensed,Icouldn’tsaywhich,buttheridersbehindme,theydidn’t.Theykeptontalkingtogether,evenlaughing.Itwasnomore
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thanaminute,andRoibeardflewin.Thewolf,itdidn’trunawaysomuchasfadeaway.”
“Aprojection,”Finsuggested.
“Notintheusualway.”Asheate,Connorshookhishead.“AsIsawitaswell.Ashadow’sclose.Mysensewasof
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somethingnotquitehere,notquitethere.Notashewasoutsidehere,notathingwithweightandfullform,butwithpowernonetheless.”
“Somethingnewthen,”Finconsidered.“Balancingbetweentwoplanes,orshiftingbetweenthem,ashecan
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shifttimeatSorcha’scabin.”
“Itpullsfromhimthough.Ifyouwatchthestone,hispowersource,itebbsandflows.”MearaglancedatConnorforconfirmation.
“That’strueenough,butaswithanyskill,thepowerofitgrowsasyou
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honeit.”“TheMcKinnons,the
peopleIguided,”Mearacontinued,“theysawnothing.”
“Tothemhewasashadow,”Finsaid.“Nothingmore.”
“Ashadowspell.”Brannaconsideredit.“I’veseenathingortwo
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inSorcha’sbookthatmightbeuseful.”
“Anddidyougetthewayofthisfromherbook?”Finaskedasheate.“Forit’smagick.I’vehadthisdishatatonyrestaurantinParis,anditdidn’tmatchyours.”
“Itturnedoutwell.”“It’sbrilliant,”Boyle
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said.“Itis,”Brannasaid
withalaugh.“Ittakesforeverasthesauceisfussy,andnotsomethingI’lldooften.Buttodayitgavemetimetothinkinthebackofmybrain.He’spushingatMearanowashedidwithIonabefore.Testingtheedgeofthings,
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wecouldsay.Andit’sMeara,Ithink,because,intruth,it’sConnorhewantstotakearunat.”
“Hewentfortheboyfirst.”Finsippedwineasheconsidered.“Aboy,aneasytargethemightthink.Buttogether,Connorandtheboyhurthim,drovehimawayagain.Andthat
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wouldbe...disappointing.”
“Sohe’safterabitofrevenge,”Boylecontinued.“AndgotagoodlickinwhenhetookConnoron.Butonlyalickcometothat.AndnexthetakesaimatMeara.”
“AftersheandConnorhadtheirhottimeinthe
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lorry,”Ionapointedout.“Thepowerofakiss.”
“Oh,forpity’ssake,”Mearamuttered.
“Sureit’strueenough.”Underthetable,ConnordancedhisfingersupMeara’sthighanddownagain.“Andwhenthingsprogressasthingsdo,hecomesagain.Witha
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shadowspell.”“Couldhedoharmin
thatformthat’snotaform?”Mearawondered.
“Ithinkyes.AdelicatebalancefromwhatIknow,”Brannaadded.“Andtheconjurerofthespellwouldhavetobeabletoshift—away,orintofullformquickly—
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withoutlosingthatdelicatebalance.”
“Ifhecandothat,whydidn’thecomeatmetoday?Ihadaknife,andI’mnothelpless,butitwould’vebeenhisadvantageI’dthink.”
“Hewantstounnerveyoumorethancauseyouharm,”Fintoldher.
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“Hurtingyougiveshimsomesatisfaction,ofcourse,ascausingharmfeedshim.Butyou’dbeworthmoretohiminanotherarea.”
“Hewantsyou,”Connorsaidflatly,andwiththebubbleofthatpurerageshe’dseenrippling,“becauseIdo.
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Hethinkstoseduceyou—spellbindyouorshakeyouenoughsoyoudon’tfight,butrunorplead—”
Hereyesfired,blacksuns.“Neitherofthosewilleverhappen.”
“Wewon’tunderestimatehim,”Connorsnappedback.“It’swhatheseekssohe
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cantakeyou.Andtakingyouthewayheseekswouldharmusall.Heunderstandswe’rebound,butseesitasabindingforpower—onlythat.Takingyoubreaksourcircle.Begratefulhedoesn’tunderstandit’snotjustabindingforpower,butoneofloveandloyalty.Ifhe
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understoodthat,thepowerofthat,he’dhuntyouwithoutceasing.”
“You’vecaughthiseye,”Finadded,“asheunderstandssexverywell—thoughwithnoneofitstruepleasuresordepth.It’sanotherkindofpowertohim,andhehasdesireenoughfortheactofit.”
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“Sothelastdayortwohasbeenakindof...matingdance?”
“That’snotfarfromthemark,”BrannasaidtoMeara.“Sorchawritesoftheweeksandweekshetriedtoseduceher,bribeher,threatenher,weardownhermindandspirit.Hewantedherpower
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withoutquestion,buthewantedherbodyaswell—andhewantedtomakeachildwithher,Ithink.”
“I’dslitmyownthroatbeforeI’dlethimrapeme.”
“Don’tsaythat.”ThebubbleoffuryburstasConnorroundedonher.“Don’teversaysucha
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thingagain.”“Don’t.”Ionaspoke
quietlybeforeMearacouldflingwordsback.“Connor’sright.Don’tsaythat.We’llprotectyou.We’reacircle,andweprotecteachother.You’llprotectyourself,butyouneedtotrustustoprotectyou.”
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“I’llsaysomethinghere.”Beforehedid,Boylehelpedhimselftoanotherladleofstew.“Thefourofyoucan’tanddon’tfullyunderstandwhatitisforMearaandme.Wehaveourfists,ourwits,ablade,instincts,strategies.Buttheseareordinarythings.I’mnot
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afterpokingataspotstillsore,butwhenathoughtfromyoucanlockusaway,outofthemix,itcomeshomewe’veonlythoseordinarythings.”
“Boyle,youhavetoknow—”
FinstoppedIona,alightbrushonherarm.“AndI’llsaysomething
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backtothat—asanoutsider.Onestepback,”heinsistedasIonasenthimasorrowfullook.“We’renotthethree,butwiththethree.Anotherdelicatebalancewecouldsay.Whatwebringtothecircleisasvitalastheotherendofthatbalance.Thethreemightthinkit
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differentfromtimetotime,andsomewiththethreemightthinkdifferent,butitiswhatitis,andthat’sforusalltorememberandrespect.”
“You’reeatingatmytable,”Brannasaidquietly.“FoodImade.I’vegivenyourespect.”
“Youhave,andI’m
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grateful.Butit’scometimeforyoutoopenthedooragain,Branna,andletmeworkwithyouwithoutmehavingtoprythatdooropen.It’sMearawe’respeakingof,andthewholeofitthathangsinthatbalance.”
Branna’sfingerstightenedonthestemof
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herwineglass,thenrelaxedagain.“You’reright,andI’msorryforit.AndIseehe’sshakenus.That’savictoryforhim,anditendsnow.”
“Wecan’tunderstandwhatitisnottobewhatweare.Ionawould,Ithink,”Connorcontinued,“aswhatsheis,andhas,
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washeldbackfromherforsolong.ButIthinkyou—andyouaswell,Fin—don’tunderstandthatforBrannaandforme,knowingyou’rewithus,whenforFin,goingbacktoParisandhisfinerestaurantwouldbeaneasierchoice,foryou,Meara,andforyou,
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Boyle,nothavingpowerbutbeingwithus,isbraverbyfarthangoingonwiththis,asBrannaandI,andnowIonamustdo.Wemust,butyou,allthreeofyouchoose.Wedon’tforgetthat.Don’tthink,don’teverthink,wedo.”
“We’renotlookingfor
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gratitude,”Boylebegan.“Well,youhaveit,
wantitornot.Andadmirationaswell,evenifthere’sbeentimes,andwillbeagain,wedon’tshowit.”
Rising,Brannagotanotherbottleofwine,poureditallaround.“Forfeck’ssake,doyouthinkI
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spendhourscookingameallikethisformyself?Idofinewithabaconsandwich.Sowe’llallofusstopfeelingsorryforourselves,orsorrytoeachother,andjustbe.”
VerydeliberatelyMearascoopedupmorestew.“It’sagorgeousmeal,Branna.”
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“Bloodyrightitis,andunlessallofyouwantnothingbutthatbaconsandwichnexttimeyoucome,we’llsetallthatbusinessaside.Now,whydowethinkCabhanjumpedonthebonnetofConnor’slorry?”
“Imightberiskingthatbaconsandwich,though
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they’retastyenough,”Finsaid,“butansweringthat,forwhatIthinkmyself,digsbackintotheotherabit.”
“Answer.”Brannawavedahandintheair.“I’lldecidewhetheryoueatatallnexttime.”
“Hewantedtoseewhatwouldhappen.Hewas
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fullyformed.”“Hewas,”Meara
agreed.“Muscle,bone,andblood.”
“Buthewasquickaboutit.Aleapwithoutwarning—whereConnorhadnosenseofit,nordidI,andweweren’tfaroff.Thenaleapback,whereverhe’sbidinghis
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time.Butinthattime,whatdidhelearn?”
“I’mnotfollowingyou,”Boylesaid.
“WhatdidheseeConnordo?Getouttofacehimalone—deliberatelyaloneasheclosedyouandMearainside.Protectedyou.AndhesawBrannarunout—
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armed,butagainalone—togotoherbrother.”
“ThenIonaandyou,”Mearaadded.
“HewasgonebythetimeIjoined,bythetimewemadethecircle.Watching?”Finshrugged.“Ican’tsayforcertain,butIhadnosenseofhim.”
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“NordidI,”ConnorsaidwhenFinglancedathim.
“SoitshowedhimConnor’sfirstinstinctistoprotect.Hiswoman—Oh,don’tbesofragileaboutit,”FinsaidwhenMearasputteredaprotest.“Hiswoman,hisfriend.Movetheriskawayand
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protect.Branna’sistogotoConnor’sside,ashiswouldbetogotohers.Butsheprotectsaswell,asshedidn’tmovetoreleaseMearaorBoyletoincreasethenumbers.”
“Itwaswrongofmeaswell,andI’veapologizedtoMearaalready.NowIapologizetoyou,Boyle.”
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“We’vecovereditall,andit’sforgotten.”
“Hewon’tforget.”Ionaglancedaround,understanding.“Andhe’llusewhatheknows,trytouseit,workitinsomehow.”
“Sowefindawaytousewhatheknows,orthinksheknows,against
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him.”Pleasedwiththeidea,Mearagrinnedaroundthetable.“Howdoweusemetotraphim?”
“Wewon’tbedoingthat.”Connorputafirmcorkinthatideabottle.“Wetriedit,didn’twe,withIona,anditdidn’twork—nearlylosthertohim.”
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“Ifatfirstyoudon’tsucceed.”
“Fuckitandtrysomethingelse,”Connorfinished.
“Ichoose.Rememberyourownfinewords.I’llaskyou,”shesaidtoFin.“Isthereawaytousemetolurehim?”
“Ican’tsay—andnot
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becauseIdon’twanttotanglewithConnor,orBrannacometothat.Butbecausewe’dallneedtimetothinkitthrough,andcarefully.I’mnomorewillingthanConnortoriskascloseacallaswehadwithIonaonthesolstice.”
“I’venoargumentwith
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that.”“We’llthinkonit,and
allmustagreeintheend.”HelookedatConnor,gotanod.“Andwe’llworkonit,usewhatweknow,refinewhatwehad,asitwasclosetothemark.”HelookedatBranna.
“Itwas,asSorcha’spoisonwas.Butneither
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finishedhim.Ican’tfindwhatwemissed—andyes,weshouldworktogether.You’veagoodhandwithpotionsandspells.WehaveuntilSamhain.”
“WhySamhain?”Connoraskedher.
“Thebeginningofwinter,theeveofthebeginningoftheyear
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itselfforus—theCelts.Ithoughtonthiswhilemakingthismeal.Wethoughtthelongestday—lightoverdark—butIthinkthatwaswrong.Maybethisissomethingwemissed.Samhain,forweneedsometime,butashe’scomingafteroneofussoblatantly,wecan’t
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taketoomuchofit.”“OnthenighttheVeil
isthin,”Connorconsidered.“Andwhereit’ssaidnopasswordisneededtomovefromrealmtorealm.Thatcouldbeit,oneofthethingswemissed.Hecanpasseasyaswalkingacrosstheroom.Onthatnight,it
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maybewecandothesamewithoutstrugglingfirsttofindwhere,orwhen.”
“ThenightwhenthedeadcometoseekthewarmthoftheSamhainfire,”Finadded,“andthecomfortoftheirbloodkin.”
“Thedead—ghosts
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now?”Mearademanded.“Witchesaren’tenoughforusnow.”
“Sorcha,”Brannasaidsimply.
“Ah.Youthinkshecouldcome,addtothepower.Sorcha,andthefirstthreeaswell?”
“It’swhatwe’llthinkon,workon.Ifwe’reall
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agreedtoit.”“Ilikeit.”Boylelifted
hisglasstoBranna.“AllHallow’sEveitis.”
“Ifwecanholdhimoffthatlong,andlearnenough,”Brannaqualified.
“Wecan.Wewill,”Connorsaiddecisively.“I’vealwaysbeenpartial
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toSamhain—andnotjustforthetreats.Ihadafineconversationoncewithmygreat-grannyonSamhain.”
“Whowasdeadatthetime,Isuppose.”
HewinkedatMeara.“Oh,goneyearsbeforeIwasborn.WhentheVeilthinsI’mabletosee
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throughiteasierthanothertimes.Andsincewe’reallthinkinghe’stestingme,inparticular,itmightbeI’mthelurewe’reafter.Andyouthoughtofthat,”hesaidtoFin.
“Itcrossedmymind.We’llthinkagreatdealmore,talkitthrough,and
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workcarefully.Icangiveyouallthetimeyouneed,Branna.Atanytime.”
“Noramblingscomingup?”sheaskedcarelessly.
“Nothingthatcan’tbepostponedorputoff.I’mheretillthisisdone.”
“Andthen?”Helookedather,said
nothingforalongbeat.
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“Then,we’llseewhatwesee.”
“He’sonlymadeusstronger.”IonatookBoyle’shand.“Familiesfight,andtheymakemistakes.Buttheycancomebackstrongerforit.Wehave.”
“Tosquabblesandfuckupsthen.”
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Connorraisedhisglass,therestliftedtheirs,andwithamusicalclink,sealedthetoast.
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H
12
EKNEWITFORADREAM.INHISMIND’SEYEHECOULDsee
himself,tuckedwarmand
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nakedinbedwithMeara,andcould—ifhedriftedback,feelherheartbeatslowandsteadyagainsthis.
Safeandwarminbed,hethought.
Butashewalkedthewoods,thechillhunginthenightair,andthecloudsthatflirtedwiththe
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three-quartermoondeepeneddarkshadows.
“Whatarewelookingfor?”Mearaaskedhim.
“Idon’tknowtillIfindit.Youshouldn’tbehere.”Hestoppedtocupherfaceinhishands.“Stayinbed,sleepsafe.”
“Youwon’tlockmeinoraway.”Firmly,she
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grippedhiswrists.“Youpromisedit.Andit’smydreamasmuchasyours.”
Hecouldsendherback,intodreamswhereshewouldn’tremember.Butitwouldbethesameasalie.
“Keepclosethen.Idon’tknowthewayhere.”
“We’renothome.”
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“We’renot.”Mearaliftedthesword
shecarriedsothebladecaughtthefilteredlightofthemoon.“DidyougivemetheswordordidIbringitinmyself?”
“Idon’tknowthateither.”Somethingshimmeredoverhisskin,teasedtheedgesofhis
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senses.“There’ssomethingintheair.”
“Smoke.”“Aye,andmore.”He
liftedhishand,heldaballoflight.Heuseditasakindoftorch,dispellingshadowstobetterseetheway.
Adeersteppedontotheroughpath,itsracka
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crownofsilver,itshideaglimmerofgold.Itstoodamoment,statuestill,asifallowingthemtobaskinitsbeauty,thenturnedandwalkedregallythroughtheswirlofmist.
“Dowefollowthehart?”Mearawondered.“Asinsongandstory?”
“Wedo.”Buthekept
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thelightglowing.Thetreesthickened,andtherewasthescentofgreenandearthandsmokeasthehartmovedwithunhurriedgrace.
“Doesthishappenoftenforyou?Thissortofdream?”
“Notoften,butit’snotthefirst—thoughthefirst
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I’vehadcompanyfrommysideofthings.There,doyousee?Anotherlightupahead.”
“Barely,butyes.Itcouldbeatrap.Canyoufeelhim,Connor?Isheherewithus?”
“Theair’sfullofmagicks.”Sofullhewonderedshecouldn’t
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feelit.“Theblackandthewhite,thedarkandthelight.Theybeatlikepulses.”
“Andcrawlontheskin.”
Soshecouldfeelthem.“Youwon’tgoback?”
“Iwon’t,no.”Butshestayedcloseastheyfollowedtheharttoward
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thelight.Connorcasthimself
forward,lethimselfsee.Andmadeouttheshape,thenthefaceintheshadowedlight.
“It’sEamon.”“Theboy?Sorcha’s
son?We’rebackcenturies.”
“Soitseems.He’s
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older,stillaboyyet,butolder.”SoConnorcastoutagain,thistimespeakingmindtomind.It’sConnoroftheO’Dwyerswhocomes.Yourblood,yourfriend.
Hefelttheboyrelax—abit.Comethen,andwelcome.Butyouarenotalone.
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Ibringmyfriend,andsheisyoursaswell.
Thehartdriftedoffintothedarkasthelightsmerged.Connorsawthelittlecottage,asmalllean-toforhorses,agardenofherbsandmedicinalplants,welltended.
They’dmadealifehere,hethought,Sorcha’s
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three.Andagoodone.“Youarewelcome,”
Eamonrepeated,andsethislightasidetoclaspConnor’shand.“Andyou,”hesaidtoMeara.“Ithoughtnottoseeyouagain.”
“Again?”Nowtheboylooked
closer,lookeddeepwith
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eyesasblueasthehawk’s-eyestoneheworearoundhisneck.“YouarenotAine?”
“Agoddess?”Mearalaughed.“Noindeed.”
“Notthegoddessbutthegypsynamedforher.Youareverylikeher,butnot,Isee,notheratall.”
“ThisisMeara,my
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friend,andyours.Sheisoneofourcircle.Tellme,cousin,howlonghasitbeenforyousinceyousawme?”
“Threeyears.ButIknewIwouldseeyouagain.Thegypsytoldme,andIsawshehadthegift.Shecametotradeonespringmorning,andtold
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meshe’dfollowedthemagicksandtheomenstoourdoor.SoshesaidIhadkinfromanothertime,andwewouldmeetagain,inandoutofdreams.”
“Inandout,”Connorconsidered.
“Shesaidwewouldgohomeagain,andmeetourdestiny.Youhaveher
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face,mylady,andherbearing.Youcomefromher,shewhocalledherselfAine.SoI’llthankyouasIdidherforgivingmehopewhenIneededit.”
HelookedatConnor.“Itwasafterourfirstwinterhere,andthedarkseemednevertolift.Ipinedforhome,despaired
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ofseeingitagain.”He’dgrowntall,
Connorobserved,andconfident.“You’vemadeahomehere.”
“Welive,andwelearn.It’sgoodlandhere,andthewildofitcalls.Butwe,thethree,mustseehomeagainbeforewecanmakeourown,andkeep
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it.”“Butit’snottimeyet,
isit?I’lltrustyou’llknowwhenitis.Yoursistersarewell?”
“Theyare,andthankyou.Ihopeyoursisteristhesame.”
“Sheis.We’resix.Thethreeandthreemore,andwelearnaswell.Hehas
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somethingnew.Ashadowspell,awaytobalancebetweenworldsandforms.Yourmotherwrotesomethingofshadows,andmyBrannastudiesherbook.”
“Asdoesmysister.I’lltellherofthis.Orwillyoucomein.I’llwakeherandTeaganasthey’dbe
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happytomeetyouboth.”Eamonstartedtoturn
tothecottagedoor.ForMearaitall
happenedatonce.Connorwhirledand
Eamonwithhimasiftheywereoneform.Thebiggray—anditgaveherajolttoseeAlastar,thesameasthestallionshe
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knew—chargedfromthelean-to.Almostasone,Roibearddived,Kathelleaped.
Beforeshecouldfullyturn,Connoryankedherbackandbehindhimjustasthewolfsprang.
Itcamefromnowhere,silentasaghost,quickasasnake.
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Inablur,itdodgedAlastar’sflashinghoovesandcharged.Straightattheboy,sherealized,andwithoutthought,shovedEamontotheside,swunghersword.
Shestruckair,buteventhatsangupherarmstohershoulders.Thenthefullforceofthewolf
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struckher,sentherflying.Pain,theshockofit,thebitter,bittercoldofitrippedthroughherside.Instinct—survival—hadherclampingherhandsarounditsthroattoholdbackthesnapofitsjaws.
Andagain,ithappenedatonce.
Thehoundattacked,
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andlightburstsobrightitburnedtheairtored.Shoutsandsnarlstorethroughthatsearingcurtainwhilehermusclesquiveredatthestrainofholdingbackthosesnappingjaws.Sheheardherselfscream,feltnoshameinitasthewolfscreamedaswell.
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Shesawrageinitseyes,murderousandcrazed,beforeitwavered,faded,vanishedasithadcome.Outofnowhere.
Hername,Connorsayingitoverandoverandover.Shecouldn’tgetherbreath,simplycouldn’tdrawintheair—airthatstanklike
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brimstone.Warmhandsonher
side,warmlipsonherlips.“Letmeseenow,letmesee.Ah,God,God.Nottoworry,aghra,I’llfixit.Liequiet.”
“Icanhelpyou.”Sheheardthevoice,
sawtheface.Branna’sface,butyounger.She
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rememberedthatface,Mearathoughtthroughthepain,theliquiddazeofitall.Remembereditfromherownyouth.
“You’lllooklikeherinafewyears.OurBranna’sararebeauty.”
“Liequiet,lady.Teagan,fetch—ahwell,shealreadyis.Mysister’s
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gettingtherestIneed.I’mskilled,cousin,”shesaidtoConnor.“You’lltrustmetothis?”
“Iwill.”ButhetookMeara’shand.“Herenow,darling,here,mochroi,lookatme.Atme,intome.”
Soshewentdreaming,dreamingintothosegreen
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eyes,outsideofpain,outsideofallbuthim.Andhimmurmuringsweetthingstoherashedidwhentheyloved.
ThenIona—noTeagan,theyoungest—Teagan,heldacuptoherlips,andthetasteonhertongue,downherthroat,waslovely.
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Nowwhenshedrewinbreath,trueanddeep,ittastedthesame—ofthegreenandtheearth,thepeatfire,andtheherbsthrivingnearby.
“I’mallright.”“Anothermoment,just
anothermoment.Howcouldhecomehere?”BrannaughaskedConnor.
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“We’rebeyondhimhere.”“ButI’mnot.
SomehowIbroughthim,gavehimpassage.Atrapitwasafterall.Usingmetogettoyou,Eamon,andyoursisters.Iledhimhere,ledhimtothis.”
“No,heusedusboth,ourdreams.”
“Anddrewusinas
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well,”Brannaughsaid.“There’snoneofhisdarkleftinyou,mylady.Canyousitnow,easyandslow?”
“I’mfine.BetterthanIwasbeforethewound.Youhaveherskill,orshehasyours.”
“Youstoodformybrother.Ifyouhadn’t
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riskedyourself,hewouldbehurt,orworse,forCabhanwantedhisblood,hisdeath.”
“Yoursword.”TeaganlaiditoverMeara’slegs.
“There’sbloodonit.Ithoughtthestrikemissed.”
“Youstrucktrue.”“’Tisshadowmagick,”
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Brannaughstated.“Itis,”Connoragreed.
“AslongasI’mhere,hecancomeagain.Idoyoumoreharmthangoodbystaying.”
“Wouldyoutakethis,ifyouplease?”Teaganheldoutaflowertoppingitsbulb.“Andwhenyoucan,ifyou’dplantthis
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nearourmother’sgrave.Shefavoredbluebells.”
“Iwill,yes,soonasI’mable.Imustgo,musttakeMearaback.”
“I’mfine,”shesaid.“I’mnot.Haveacare,
allofyou.”HewrappedhisarmstightaroundMeara,pressedhisfaceintoherhair.
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Shewokeinbed,sittingupwithConnor’sarmsaroundher,withhimrockingherashemightababy.
“Ihadadream.”“Notadream,ornot
onlyadream.Shhnow,givemeamoment.”
Hislipspressedontoherhair,hertemples,her
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cheeks,allslowanddeliberate.
“Letmeseeyourside.”“It’sfine.I’mfine,”
sheinsistedasheshiftedher,ranhishandsoverher.“InfactIfeelsomeonedosedmewithamagickelixir.AndIsupposethat’sjustwhathappened.Howdidit
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happen?Anyofit,allofit?”
“EamondreamedofmeandIofhim.Hedrewmetohim,andIdrewyouwithme.AndlikelyCabhansetthestageforitall.”
Hishandsfistedinherhairuntilhecarefullyrelaxedthemagain.
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“Touseme,mydreaming,toattackEamon.”
“Youpushedmebehindyou.”
“AndyoudidthesamewithEamon.Wedowhatwedo.”Onasigh,helaidhisforeheadonhers.“Yourswordstruckhisflank,andhisclawsyours,
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buthewasstillpartinshadowsothebladedrewhisblood,butdidn’tstophim.That’smytheoryonit.”
“Hecameoutoftheair,Connor.Howdowefightwhatcomesoutoftheair?”
“Aswedid.Thelightdrovehimback—
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Eamon’sandminejoined,thenthegirls.”
“Hescreamed,”Meararemembered.“Itdidn’tsoundlikeananimal,butaman.”
“Balancingbetweenworlds,andforms.It’scatchinghimwhenhestepsoffononeortheother,Ithink.It’snear
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dawn.It’llbeanuglybusiness,butI’mwakingBranna.I’llleaveittoyoutoringuptheothers.Thisissomethingtosharewithallandstraightaway.”
Butfirsthecuppedherfaceinhishandsashehadinthedreamingtime.“Don’tbesofuckingbravenexttime,forthe
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nexttimemightkillmewhereIstand.”
“Hewasjustaboy,Connor,andstraightinitspath.Andhelookslikeyou,oryoulooklikehim.Theshapeoftheface,”sheadded,“hismouth,hisnose,eventhewayhestands.”
“Isthatso?”
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“Hardertoseeityourself,I’dthink,butit’sveryso.I’llringIona,thenshe’llbeinchargeofwakingBoyle,whocanwakeFin.”
“Allright.”Heranhishandsthroughherhair,longandwavingashe’dreleaseditfromitsbraidthenightbefore.
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“Whoevergetsdownstairsfirstputsonthebleedingcoffee.”
“Agreed.”Becauseshecouldseetheworryinhiseyesstill,sheleanedintokisshim.“Goon,you’vegottheworstjobbetweenusinwakingBrannawhenthesun’sbarelyup.”
“Havethefirst-aidkit
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ready.”Herolledoutofbed,yankedonhispants.
Asheleft,Mearareachedoverforherphone,andsawthebluebell.ThinkingofTeagan,solikethegirlIonamusthavebeen,sherose,fetchedaglassofwaterfromthebathroom,setthebulbinit.
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ForSorcha,shethought,thencalledIona.
Shemadeitdownfirst,didherdutywiththecoffee.Sheconsideredmakingoatmeal,theonlybreakfastmealshehadadecentenoughhandwith.AndConnornearlyalwaysscorchedtheeggsifhehadchargeof
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breakfast.Shewassparedwhen
Brannacamein.Herfriendworeblueandgreenstripedflannelpantswithathingreentop.She’dtiedalittlebluesweateroverit,andthatsomehowmatchedthethicksocksonherfeet.
Herhairspillingfreeto
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herwaist,Brannamarchedstraightforthecoffee.“Don’ttalktome,notaword,untilI’vehadmycoffee.Putsomepotatoesontheboil,andwhenthey’resoftenough,chipthemupforfrying.”
Shedrankthecoffeeblackratherthanaddingthegooddoseofcream
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thatwasherusual.“Iswearanoath,
there’satimecomingsoonwhenI’llnotstepnearastoveforamonth.”
“You’llhaveearnedit.I’mnottalkingtoanyoneinparticular,”Mearasaidquicklyasshescrubbedpotatoesinthesink.“Justmakingsomegeneral
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observations.”“BloodyCabhan,”
Brannamuttered,asshepulledthingsfromthefridge.“I’llkillhimwithmyownhands,Iswearanotheroath,forforcingmetoseesomanysunrises.Theeggsaregoingscrambled,andwhoeverdoesn’tlikeit
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doesn’thavetoeatthem.”Wisely,Mearasaid
nothing,butputthepotatoesontheboil.
Mutteringallthewhile,Brannaputonsausage,startedonthebacon,slicedbreadfromtheloaffortoast.
Thendownedmorecoffee.
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“Iwanttoseeyourside.”
Mearastoppedherselffromsayingshewasfine,simplylifteduphershirt.
Brannalaidherfingersonit—howdidsheknowtheexactspot—probedforamoment.Mearafeltheatslidein,andoutagain.
ThenBrannamether
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eyes,justmovedinandwrappedaroundhertight.
“It’shealedperfectly.Damnit,Meara.Damnit.”
“Don’tstartnow.I’vehaditfromConnoralready.You’dthinkI’dbeenguttedinsteadofgettingabitofaswipe.”
“Whatdoyouthinkhe
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wasaimingforifnotyourguts?”ButBrannasteppedback,pressedtheheelsofherhandstohereyes.Breatheddeepbeforeshedroppedthemagain.
“Allrightthen.Let’sgetthisbloodybreakfaston.ConnorSeanMichaelO’Dwyer!Getyourarsedownhereanddo
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somethingwiththisbreakfastbesideseatit.”
Asheappearedsecondslater,he’dobviouslybeenwaitingforhertosettle.“Whateveryoulike.Icandotheeggs.”
“You’llnottouchthem.SetthetableasitseemsI’llbecookingfor
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sixtherestofmylife.Andwhenyou’redonewiththat,youcanstartonthetoast.”
Thepotatoeswerefryingwhentheothersarrived.
“You’reallright?”IonawentstraighttoMeara.“You’resure?”
“Iam.Morethanall
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rightasI’mbristlingwithenergyfromwhateverpotiontheygaveme.”
“Letmeseeit.”FinnudgedIonaaside.
“AmIgoingtohavetoliftmyshirtforeveryone?”Butshedidso,frowningabitasFinlaidhishandonher.“Branna’salreadyhada
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pokeatme.”“He’smyblood.If
there’sevenatraceofhim,I’llknow.Andthere’snone.”Gently,Findrewhershirtintoplaceagain.“Iwouldn’thaveyouhurt,modeirfiúr.”
“Iknowit.Suretherewasamoment,andIwouldn’tcaretorepeatit,
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buttherest?Itwasafascination.YouwentwithIonaonce,”shesaidtoBoyle.
“Idid,soIknowthesensation.Likedreamingbutmorelikewalking,talking,doingwhileyoudream.Itmakesyouabitlight-headed.”
“Youshouldsit,”Iona
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decided.“Justsitdown.I’llhelpBrannafinishbreakfast.”
“You’llnot,”Brannasaiddefinitely.“Boyle,you’retheonlyoneofthelotwhodoesn’thavehamhandsinthekitchen.Scrambleuptheeggs,willyou,asI’venearlyfinishedtherest.”
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Hewentovertothestovebesideher,pouredthebeateneggsfromthebowlintoaskilletwhereshe’dmeltedbutter.
“Allrightthen?”heasked.
Brannaleanedagainsthimamoment.“Iwillbe.”
Sheturnedtheheatoff
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underthepotatoes,begantoscoopthemoutwithaslottedtoolontopapertowelstodrain.“Whydidn’tIfeelanyofit?”shewondered.“Isleptstraightthroughitall,neverknowingathing.”
“Whydidn’tI,orIona?”Fincounteredfrombehindher.“Itwasn’tour
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dream;wedidn’thaveapartinit.”
“Iwasrightinthesamehouse,onlyjustdownthehall.Ishould’vesensedsomething.”
“Icanseeasyou’rethecenterofthisworldhowyou’redeservingapieceofallofit.”
Whensheroundedon
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him,eyesflashing,narrowed,Ionasteppedup.“Stopit,juststopit,bothofyou.You’reeachblamingyourselves,andthat’sstupid.Neitherofyouisresponsible.Theonlyonewhois,isCabhan,soknockitoff.Myblood,mybrother,”sheaddedbeforethepair
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ofthemcouldspeak.“Blah,blah,blah.Sowhat?We’reallinthis.Whydon’twefindoutexactlywhathappenedbeforewestartdividinguptheblame?”
“You’remarryingabossywoman,modearthair,”FinsaidtoBoyle.“Andasensible
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one.Sit,Iona,andMearaaswell.I’llgetyourcoffee.”
Ionasat,foldedherhandsneatlyonthetable.“Thatwouldbeverynice.”
“Don’tbleeditout,”Mearawarned,andjoinedher.
AtBranna’sdirection,
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Boylepiledeggsontheplatterwiththesausage,bacon,potatoes,friedtomatoes,andblackpudding.
HecartedittothetablewhileFinservedthecoffeeandConnorpouredoutjuice.
“Takeusthroughit,”FintoldConnor.
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“Itstartedastheydo—asifyou’refullyawakeandawareandsomewhereelseallatonce.InClarewewere,thoughIdidn’tknowitatfirst.InClare,andinEamon’stime.”
Hewoundthroughthestoryastheyallservedthemselvesfromthehugeplatter.
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“Ahart?”Brannainterrupted.“Wasitreal,ordidyoubringitintoit?”
“Iwouldn’thavethoughtofit.IfI’dwantedaguide,I’dhavepulledinRoibeard.Itwasamassivebuck,andmagnificent.Regal,andwithahidemoregold
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thanbrown.”“Blueeyes,”Meara
added.“You’reright.They
were.Boldandblue,likeEamon’s,cometothinkofit.”
“Orhisfather’s,”Brannapointedout.“InSorcha’sbookshewriteshersonhashisfather’s
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eyes,hiscoloring.”“Youthinkitwas
Daithi,”Connorconsidered,“orrepresentinghim.Hemightbegiventhatformtobenearhischildren,protectthemasbesthecan.”
“Ihopeit’strue,”Ionasaidquietly.“Hewas
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killedridinghometoprotectthem.”
“ThehartthatmighthavebeenDaithi’sspiritguidedustowardthelight,andthelightwasEamon.Threeyearsinhistimesincewelastmet.Hewastaller,andhisfacefineddownasitdoeswhenyou’repassingoutof
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childhood.He’sahandsomelad.”
NowhegrinnedatMeara.
“He’dsaythat,asItoldhimtheyfavoreachother.Differentcoloringtobesure,butyou’dknowthey’rekin.”
“HethoughtMearawasAine—agypsy,”
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Connorexplained.“Onewho’dpassedthroughsometimebefore,andtoldhimthey’dseehomeagain.”
“That’sinteresting.Youhavegypsyinyourheritage,”Ionapointedout.
“Ido.”“AndFinnamedthe
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fillyhechoseforAlastarAine.”
“Ithoughtofthat,andtakeitdoesn’tmeanIresembleahorse.”
“Ofgreatbeautyandspirit,”Finpointedout.“Thenamewashers—Ineverconsideredanother.ItwaswhoshewasthemomentIsawher.Sure
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it’sinteresting,theconnections,theoverlaps.”
“It’sthatIfeltnothingwhilewetalked,thereoutsidethecottage.Nordidhe,”Connorconsidered.“Weaskedafterfamily.Itoldhimoftheshadowspell.Anditwaswhenheaskedif
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we’dcomeinsidethatithappened.OneminuteIfeltnothing,thenIfelthimthere.Justthereaninstantbeforethewolfleapedoutoftheair.Andhefeltitaswell.”
“Youspunaroundtogether,likeoneperson,”Mearaadded.“Itwasallsofast.Connorpushedme
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backbehindhim,butitwasn’tme,itwastheboy,hewanted.”
“AndsoshepushedEamonaside,exposedherself,andswungthesword.Notevenasecond,notimetothrowoutablockofanykind.Herammedherfull,clawedher.Herbloodandhisin
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theair.Thehoundcharged.EamonandIjoined,andthegirlsrushedout.Itwastheywhothrewablock,stoppingmefromrushingforward,throwingwhattheyhadathim,soitwasmewhojoinedwiththemastherewasnothingelsetodointhosefew
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seconds.Whatwehadwasenoughtogivehimpain,withKathel,Roibeard,andAlastargoingathimalongwithus.Hescreamedlikeagirl.”
“Hey!”Hemanagedagrinat
Iona.“Nooffensemeant.BetweenusandKathel,
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Alastar’shoovesandRoibeard’stalons,hewentashe’dcome.Gone,vanished,leavingonlythestenchofhellbehindhim.AndMearableedingontheground.Andnottwominutes,whenIlookbackcalm,nottwominutesbetween.”
“They’veallbeen
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short,haven’tthey?Somethingtoconsider,”Brannasaid.“Itmaybeheonlyhasenoughpowerforthoseshortburstswiththisspell.”
“Fornow,”Finadded.“Fornowiswhatwe
have.HehitchedontoConnor’sdream,slitheredintoittotrytogettheboy
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—oroneofthesistersifthey’dgreetedyou,Connor.Hecan’tgetintothehouse,butintoadream,onceyou’vemovedoutofitsprotection...Icanseethis.Hecan’tgettotheminthattime,inthatplace,butcouldlinktothedreamtogothere.”
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“Wheretheboywould’vebeenvulnerable,”Finadded,“inthehalfworldofactivedreaming.ThenCabhanwaitsontheedgesofit,waitstoattack—untilyouturnyourback.”
“Bloodycoward,”Boylemuttered.
“YousaidMeara
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spilledhisblood.Where’syoursword?”Brannademanded.
“Athome.Ineverbroughtithere.’Twasjustinmyhandinthedream.”
“I’llgogetit,”Finsaid.“Wheredoyouhaveit?”
“It’sontheshelfintheclosetinmybedroom.I’ll
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getyouthekeytotheflat.”Whenheonlysmiled,shesatbackagain.“Whichyoudon’tneedatall,doyou?Whichisathoughtthatneveroccurredtome.Anyofthefourofyoucouldwalkrightinasyouplease.”
“I’llbringit.Itwon’ttakebutafewmoments.”
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“Iappreciatetherespect,asyouknowIdon’tapproveoftakingtheeasywaywhenabitofeffortandtimedoesthejob.But.”Brannasighed.“We’rebeyondthat,andit’sfoolishforyoutodriveintothevillageandback.”
Finmerelynodded.He
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liftedhishand,andinaflashheldMeara’ssword.
Mearajolted,thenlaughedalittle.“Well,that’sbrilliant,andit’ssoraretoseeanyofyoudothatsortofthing,Isometimesforgetyoucan.”
“Fin’sabitfreerwithitthanBranna,”Boyle
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pointedout.“Wealldon’thavethe
sameboundaries.”Finturnedthesword.“There’sbloodonit,andfreshenough.”
“Iwon’thavebloodorswordsatmytable.”Brannarose,tookitfromhim.“It’senoughtoworkwith.Istillhavesome
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fromthesolstice.Butasyousaid,thisisfresh—andit’sfromhimwhenhewaswoundedduringashadowspell.”
“I’llcomeback,workwithyouassoonasIcangetaway,”Connortoldher.
“SowillI,”Ionaadded.“We’rereallybusythis
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morning,butIthinkmybossesmightgivemesomeflextimethisafternoon.”
BoyleranahandoverIona’scapofhair.“Theymightbepersuaded.I’llbringMearabackaswellifyoucanuseus.Wecanbringfoodifnothingelse.”
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“It’squiteabitelse.”Brannacontinuedtostudythesword.“Asthereisn’tenoughofthefancyFrenchstewtogofullaroundasecondtime.”
“We’llseetothatthen,Mearaandmyself,andcomebackaroundassoonaswecanclosethingsupatthestables.I’llsend
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IonaoffsoonasIcan.”“I’llcomegether,”
Connorsaid.“Ithinkwe’rebacktonoonewanderingaroundontheirown,atleastforabit.Icanjuggletheschedulingandbeoffbythreeifthatsuits.”
“Wellenough.”“I’llstaynow.”There
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wasabeatofsilenceasFinspoke.“Ifthatsuits.”
“Itdoes.”Brannaloweredthesword.“Thelotofyoucanputmykitchenbacktorights.I’llbeintheworkshopwhenyou’redone,”shesaidtoFin,andwalkedout.
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M
13
EARASPENTMOSTOFHERNEXTFREEDAYATHER
mother’shelpingwiththe
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lastofthepackingupforwhattheywereallcallingTheLongVisit.Andaspackingrequiredmakingdecisions—whatshouldbetaken,whatshouldbeleftbehind,whatmightbegivenawayorsimplytossedinthebin—Mearaspentmostofherfreedaywithathrobbing
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headache.Decisions,andMeara
knewitwell,putColleenQuinninastateofditheringanxiety.ThesimplechoiceofwhethertotakehertrioofpamperedAfricanVioletsnearlybroughthertotears.
“Well,ofcourseyou’ll
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takethem.”Mearastruggledtofindbalanceonathinmidwaylinebetweengoodcheerandfirmness.
“IfIleavethem,youandDonalwillhavethebotherofwateringandfeedingthem,andifyouforget...”
“Icanpromisenotto
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forget.”Becauseshe’dtakethemstraighttoBranna,who’dknowhowtotendthem.“Butyoushouldhavethemwithyou.”
“Maureenmightnotwanttheminherhouse.”
“Nowwhywouldn’tMaureenwantthem?”Teeteringonthatthinline,
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Mearapastedadeterminedsmileonherfaceassheliftedoneofthefuzzy-leafedplants,pregnantwithpurpleblooms.“They’relovely.”
“Well,it’sherhouse,isn’tit?”
“Andyou’rehermother,andthey’reyourplants.”
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Decisionmade—byGod—Mearasetthemcarefullyinboxesshe’dbeggedoffthemarket.
“Oh,but—”“They’llridesafein
here.”Seventimessevenis—buggerit—forty-nine.“Andhaven’tyousaidplantsarelivingthings,andhowtheyrespondto
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musicandconversationandaffection?They’dmissyouandlikelywilt,howevercarefulIwaswiththem.”
Inspired,Mearasang“OntheRoadAgain”asshetuckedballedpaperaroundthepots.AtleastthatgotaglimmerofasmilefromColleen.
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“You’vesuchabeautifulsingingvoice.”
“Igotitfrommymother,didn’tI?”
“Yourfatherhasafine,strongvoiceaswell.”
“Hmm”wasMeara’sresponsetothatasshemultipliedinherhead.“Wellnow,you’llwantsomeofyourphotos,
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won’tyou,toputaroundyourroom.”
“Oh.”Colleenimmediatelylinkedherfingerstogetherasshedidwhenshedidn’tknowwhethertoturnleftorright.“I’mnotsure,andhowwouldIchoosewhich.And—”
“I’llchoose,thenit’ll
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beanicesurpriseforyouwhenyouunpack.Youknow,Icoulddowithsometea.”
“Oh.I’llmakesome.”“Thatwouldbegrand.”
Andprovidefiveminutesofpeace.
WithColleeninthekitchen,Mearaquicklysnatchedframedphotos—
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capturedmomentsofthepast,ofherchildhood,ofhersiblings,and,thoughitdidn’tsitparticularlywell,ofherparentstogether.
Shestudiedoneofherparents,smilingoutwiththelushgardensofthebighousethey’doncehadsurroundingthem.Ahandsomeface,she
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thought,studyingherfather.Afine,strappingmanwithallthecharmintheworld.
Andnospinewhatsoever.
Shewrappedthephototoprotecttheglassoftheframe,tuckeditinthebox.Shemightbeoftheopinionhermotherwould
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bebetteroffwithouttheconstantreminderofwhathadbeen,butitwasn’therlifetolive.
Andthatlife,rightatthemoment,fitintotwosuitcases,ashouldertote,andthreemarketboxes.
Therewouldbemoreifthemovebecamepermanent—aword
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Colleenwasn’treadytohear.Morepackingtodo,butmuchmorethanthat,Mearawassure,morelifetobelived.
Consideringthejobdone—ornearlyenough—shewentbacktothekitchen.Andfoundhermothersittingatthetinytable,weepingquietlyinto
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herhands.“Ah,Ma.”“I’msorry,I’msorry.I
haven’tmadethetea.Ifeelatsea,Meara.I’velivedinCongandhereaboutsallmylife.Andnow...”
“It’snotfar.You’llnotbefar.”Sitting,Mearatookherhands.“Noteven
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afullhouraway.”Colleenlookedup,
tearfully.“ButIwon’tseeyouorDonalasIdo.”
“It’sjustavisit,Ma.”“Imaynevercome
backhere.It’swhatyou’reallthinkingforme.”
Withlittlechoice,Mearashoulderedthe
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guilt.“It’swhatwe’reallthinkingyou’llwantonceyou’retherealittlewhile.IfyoustayinGalwaywithMaureenandSeanandthekids,we’llvisit.Ofcoursewewill.Andifyou’renothappythere,you’llcomebackhere.Haven’tIsaidI’llseethecottageisrighthereforyou?”
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“Ihatethisplace.Ihateeverythingaboutthisplace.”
Stunned,Mearaopenedhermouth,thenshutitagainwithoutanideawhattosay.
“No,no,that’snotright,that’snottrue.”Rockingherself,Colleenpressedherhandstoher
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face.“Ilovethegardens.Ido.Iloveseeingthem,frontandback,andworkinginthem.AndI’mgratefulforthecottage,forit’sasweetlittleplace.”
Takingatissuefromherpocket,Colleendabbedawaythetears.“I’mgratefultoFinbar
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Burkeforrentingittomeforfarlessthanafairprice—andtoyouforpayingit.AndtoDonalforstayingwithmesolong.ToallofyouforseeingsomeonerangmeeverydaytoseehowIwasdoing.Fortakingmeonlittleholidays.Iknowyou’veallconspiredso
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I’llmoveofftoGalwaywithMaureenformyowngood.I’mnotaltogetherstupid.”
“You’renotstupidatall.”
“I’mfifty-fiveyearsold,andIcan’troastajointoflamb.”
Becausethatbroughtonanotherspateof
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weeping,Mearatriedanothertact.“It’strueenoughyou’reabloodyterriblecook.WhenI’dcomehomefromschoolandsmellyourpotroastcooking,I’daskGodwhatI’ddonetodeservesuchpunishment.”
Colleengoggledforalongminute,tears
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shimmeringonhercheeks.Thenshelaughed.Thesoundwasabitwild,butitwasalaughallthesame.
“Mymother’sworse.”“Isthatevenpossible?”“Whydoyouthink
yourgranddahiredacook?We’dhavestarvedtodeath.Andblessher,
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Maureen’snotmuchbetter.”
“That’swhytheyinventedtake-away.”Hopingtostemmoreweeping,Meararosetoputthekettleon.“Ineverknewyouhatedlivinghere.”
“Idon’t.Thatwaswrongandungrateful.
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I’vearoofovermyhead,andagardenI’mproudof.I’vegoodneighbors,andyouandDonalclose.I’vehatedit’sallIhave—another’spropertymydaughterpaystokeeparoundme.”
“It’snotallyouhave.”Howblindhadshebeen,Mearawondered,notto
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seehowitwouldscorehermother’spridetoliveinarentalherchildpaidfor?
“It’sonlyaplace,Ma.Justaplace.Youhaveyourchildren,yourgrandchildren,wholoveyouenoughtoconspireforyourhappiness.Youhaveyourself,aterriblecook,butabrilliant
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gardener.You’llbeaboontothosegrandchildren.”
“WillI?”“Oh,youwill.You’ll
bepatientwiththem,andsincerelyinterestedintheirdoingsandtheirthoughts.It’sdifferentwithaparent,isn’tit?Theyhavetoconsider
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constantlywhethertosayyesorno,noworlater.Theyhavetodisciplineandenforceaswellasloveandtend.You’llonlyhavetolove,andthey’llsoakallthatuplikesponges.”
“Idomisshavingthemcloser,havingthetimetospoilthem.”
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“Sohere’syourchance.”
“WhatifMaureenobjectstothespoiling?”
“ThenI’mofftoGalwaytokickherarse.”
ColleensmiledagainasMearamadethetea.“You’vealwaysbeenmywarrior.Sofierceandbrave.I’mhopingI’ll
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havegrandchildrenfromyoutospoiloneday.”
“Ahwell.”“I’veheardyouand
ConnorO’Dwyerareseeingeachother.”
“I’vebeenseeingConnorO’Dwyerallmylife.”
“Meara.”Noavoidingit,Meara
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thought,andbroughttheteatothelittletable.“We’reseeingeachother.”
“I’masfondofhimasIcanbe.He’safineman,andsohandsomeaswell.Agoodheartandakindnature.Hecomestoseemenowandthen,justtoseehowI’mfaring,andto
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askifthere’sanylittlethinghecandoaroundtheplace.”
“Ididn’tknow,butit’slikehim.”
“Hehasawayabouthim,andthoughIknowthewayoftheworld,Ican’tapproveof...thatis,thesexbeforemarriage.”
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HolyMary,Mearaprayed,havemercyandsparemefromthesextalk.
“Understood.”“Ifeelthesamewith
DonalandSharon,but...Aman’saman,afterall,andthey’llwantsuchthingswithorwithoutHolyMatrimony.”
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“Asdowomen,Ma,andIhatetobreakthenewstoyou,butI’mawomangrown.”
“Bethatasitmay,”Colleensaidprimly,“you’restillmydaughter.AnddespitewhattheChurchsaysonsuchmatters,I’llhopeyou’llhaveacare.”
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“Youcanresteasythere.”
“I’llresteasywhenyou’rehappyandmarriedandstartingafamilyinahomeofyourown.I’masfondofConnorasIcanbe,asIsaid,butit’safacthe’saneyefortheladies.Sohaveacare,Meara.”
Whensheheardthe
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frontdooropen,Mearaoffereddesperatethanks.“Andhere’sDonalsettotakeyoutoGalway,”shesaidbrightly.“I’llgetanothercupforhistea.”
***
SHETHOUGHTTOGOHOME,
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STAREATTHEWALLSUNTILSHEfeltlessfrazzledandguiltyandgenerallyoutofsorts.AndendedupdrivingstraighttoBranna’s.
Theminuteshe’ddashedintotheworkshop,shesawshe’dmadeamistake.
BrannaandFinstood
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togetheratthebigworkcounter,theirhandspoisedoverasilverbowl.Whateverbrewitcontainedglowed,ahardorangelightthatswirledupathincolumnofsmoke.
Brannaheldupafingerofherfreehand,asignaltowait.
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“Yoursandyoursandmeandmine,lifeanddeathtogethertwine.Bloodandtearscastandshedmixedtogetherthickandred.Fireandsmokewillbubbletrueandsealyourfatewiththisbrew.”
Itbubbledup,frothedover,avirulentorange.
“Damnit!”Branna
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steppedback,fistedherhandsonherhips.“It’sstillnotright.Itshouldgored,bloodred.Murderousred,andthick.We’restillmissingsomething.”
“It’sdamnwellnotmyblood,”Finsaid.“I’vegivenyoualiteralready.”
“Afewdropsisall,don’tbesuchababy.”
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Obviouslyfrustrated,Brannashovedatthehairshe’dbundledontopofherhead.“I’vetakenmineandConnor’sandIona’saswell,haven’tI?”
“Andthere’sthreeofyoutomyone.”
“Pluswhatwe’veusedfromthevialwehaveofhisfromthesolstice,and
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whatwe’reusingfromthesword.”
“Youcanhavemineifyouneedit,”Mearaoffered.“OtherwiseitseemsI’mjustintheway.”
“You’renot.Itmightbewecanuseanothereye,anotherbrainonthis.Butwe’rehavingabreak
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soIcanthinkonthis,”Brannadecided.“We’llhavesometea.”
“You’reupset,”FinsaidtoMearaasBrannamoppedupthecounter.“YousawyourmotherofftoGalwaytoday.”
“Justabitago,yes,andwithmuchoftheweepingandgnashingofteeth.”
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“I’msorry.”ImmediatelyBrannacamearoundthecounter,rubbedMeara’sarm.“Iwasblockedoffinmyownfrustrationsanddidn’tgiveathoughttoyours.Itwashard.”
“InsomewaysmoreandinotherslessthanIexpected.Butaltogether
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exhausting.”“I’vethingsIcoulddo
andleavethetwoofyoutotalk.”
“No,don’tgoonmyaccount.Andthisgivesmethechancetotalktoyouabouttherental.”
“It’snothingyouneedworryover.AsItoldyou,Icanholdituntilshe’s
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decidedwhatshewantstodo.It’sbeenhersneartotenyearsnow.”
“It’sgoodofyou,Fin.Imeanit.”
Sayingnothing,Brannawalkedovertomakethetea.
“Ithinkshewon’tbeback—nottolive,”Mearasaid.“Ithinkthechange
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willboosther.Thegrandchildren,particularlythegrandchildren,asshe’llbelivingwithsomeandclosertotherest.Addedtoit,Maureen’sSeanwillmakeafussoverher,ashe’salwayshadasoftspotthere.Andthefactis,she’snothappyonherown.Sheneeds
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someonenotjustforconversationbutdirection,andMaureenwillgiveherboth.”
“Thenstopfeelingguiltyaboutit,”Finadvised.
“I’mwadinginitforabit.”Doingjustthat,Mearapressedherfingerstohereyes.“Shecriedso,
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andsaidthingsIdidn’tknowwereinhermindorherheart.She’sgratefultoyou,Fin,forthecottage,fortheridiculouslylowrentyou’vechargedalltheseyears—andIneverthoughtshehadanyideaaboutthemoneyatall.Butshedid,she’sgrateful,andsoamI.”
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“It’snothing,Meara.”“Itis,toher,tome.I
couldn’thavemanagedmyownrentandhersifhershadn’tbeencheaperthandirtevenwithDonalkickingin,andthenthere’dhavebeenmurderforcertain.Soyoukeptheraliveandmeoutofprison,soyou’lltakethe
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gratitudethat’sgiven.”“You’rewelcome.”
Thenhewenttoher,drewherin,asshe’dstartedtocry.“Enoughnow,darling.”
“It’sjustshestartedcryingagainwhenDonalandIloadedherthingsintothelorry,andsheclungtomeasifIwere
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goingofftowar.WhichIam,Isuppose,butshedoesn’tknow.Iswearshe’sturnedablindeyetowhatthreeofmyclosestfriendsareaboutalltheseyears,andnowisonlysomewhatconcernedthatConnorandIarehavingsexoutsideHolyMatrimony.”
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Thoughhecouldn’thelpthesmile,Finrubbedherback.“Itsoundslikeaveryfulldayforyou.”
“Endingwithmebootingmyownmotheroutofherhome.”
“Youdidnosuchthing.Youhelpedherbreakachainthat’skeptherlockedherewhen
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she’llbehappierinahousefilledwithfamily.I’llwagershe’llthankyouforitbeforetheyear’sout.Herenow,dubheasa,dryyoureyes.”
Hesteppedback,pattedhispockets,thenpulledoutahandkerchiefswirlingwithcolor,andmadeherlaugh.
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“What’sallthis?”“Alwaysarainbow
afterthestorm.”Thenpluckedanenormousandbrightpinkdaisyfromherhair.“Andflowersfromtherain.”
“You’dmakeafeckingfortuneatbirthdayparties.”
“I’llkeepthatfor
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backup.”“AndI’macomplete
git.”“Notatall.”Hegave
heranotherhug.“Onlyahalfagitatbest.”
HecaughtBranna’seyeoverMeara’shead.Andthesmileshesenthimstabbedstraightintohisheart.
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***
SHEDRANKHERTEA,ATETHREEOFBRANNA’SLEMONbiscuits,andthoughsheknewnexttonothingofwritingspellsandmakingpotions,didherbesttohelp.
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Shegroundherbsusingmortarandpestle—sage,fleabane,rosemaryforbanishing.Shemeasuredoutthedustofacrushedblackfluoritecrystal,snippedlengthsofcoppertwine,markingallamountspreciselyinBranna’sjournal.
BythetimeConnor
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arrived,withIonaandBoylewithhim,alltheingredientsBrannaandFinhadchosenwereready.
“We’vefailedtwicewiththistoday,”Brannatoldthem,“sowe’llhopeit’struethirdtime’sthecharm.Pluswe’vehadMeara’shandinitthis
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time,andthat’sforluck.”“Anapprenticewitch
areyou?”Connornippedherinforakiss.
“Hardly,butIcangrindandmeasure.”
“Didyouseeyourmotheronherway?”
“Idid,andmoppedherupaftershecriedherbuckets.Thencamehere
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whereFinmoppedmeupinturn.”
“Behappy.”ThistimeConnorkissedherforehead.“Forshewillbe.”
“I’mclosertobelievingitasDonaltextedmenotanhouragotosayMaureen’sfamilygaveheraqueen’s
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welcome,withstreamersandflowers,cakeandevenchampagne.IcanbealittleshamedfornotthinkingMaureenhaditinhertomakethefuss,butI’llgetpastthatthefirsttimeshepissesmeoff.Donalsaysshe’sgiddyasagirl—Ma,notMaureen,sothat’sacloudgone
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fromovermyhead.”“We’llgoupandtake
herouttodinneroncewecangetawayeasy.”
Agoodheart,hermotherhadsaid.Andakindnature.
“You’dbetakingachanceasyou’rehavingsexwithherdaughteroutsideHolyMatrimony.”
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“What?”“I’llexplainlater.I
thinkBrannawantsyourblood.”
“Fromall,”Brannacountered.“Aswetookfromallforthespellbeforethesolstice.”
“Itdidn’tfinishit.”BoylefrownedatthebowlasBrannacarefullyadded
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ingredients.“Whyshouldthis?”
“Wehavehisblood—fromtheground,fromtheblade,”Finsaid.“Thataddshispowertoit,itaddsthedark,andthedarkwe’lluseagainsthim.”
“Cloaktheworkshop,Connor.”Branna
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measuredsaltintothebowl.“Iona,thecandlesifyouwill.Thistimewe’lldoitalltogetheraswe’reallhere,andwithinacircle.
“Withinandwithout,”shebegan,“withoutandwithin,andherethedevil’sendwe’llspin.”Takingupalengthof
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copper,shetwisteditintotheshapeofaman.“Inshadowshehides,inshadowswe’llbideandtraphistrueforminside.Theretoflameandburntoashinthespellwecast.”
Shesetthecopperfigureonthesilvertraywithvials,alongcrystalsphere,andheroldest
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athame.“Wecastthecircle.”Mearahadseenthe
ritualdozensoftimes,butitalwaysbroughtatingletoherskin.Thewayawaveofthehandwouldsetthewideringofwhitecandlestoflame,andhowtheairseemedtohushandstillwithintheirring.
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Thenstir.ThethreeandFinstood
atthefourpointsofthecompass,andeachcalledontheelements,thegodandgoddesses,theirguides.
AndthefireIonaconjuredburnedwhite,afootoffthefloorwiththesilverbowlsuspended
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overit.Herbsandcrystals,
blessedwaterpouredfromBranna’shand—stirredbytheairConnorcalled.BlackearthsqueezedfromFin’sfistdampenedbytearsshedbyawitch.
Andblood.“Fromaheartbrave
andtrue.”Withherritual
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knifeIonascoredBoyle’spalm.“Tomixwithmineasonefromtwo.”
Andscoredherown,pressedherhandtohis.
“Lifeandlight,burningbright,”shesaidassheletthemixedbloodslideintothebowl.
ConnortookMeara’shand,kissedherpalm.
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“Fromaheartloyalandstrong.”Hescoredherpalm,his.“Joinwithminetorightthewrong.Lifeandlight,burningbright.”
BrannaturnedtoFin,startedtotakehishand,buthedrewitback,andpulleddowntheshoulderofhisshirt.
“Takeitfromthe
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mark.”Whensheshookher
head,hegrippedherknifehandbythewrist.“Fromthemark.”
“Asyousay.”Shelaidthebladeon
thepentagram,hiscurseandheritage.
“Bloodthatrunsfromthismark,mixwithmine.
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Whiteanddark.”Whenshelaidhercuthandonhisshoulder,fleshtoflesh,bloodtoblood,thecandleflamesshothigh,andtheairtrembled.
“Darkandwhite,powerandmight,lightandlifeburningbright.”
Thebloodraninathinriverdownherhand,into
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thebowl.Thepotionboiled,churned,spewingsmoke.
“InthenameofSorcha,allwhocamebefore,allwhocameafter,wejoinourpowertomakethisfight.Wecasttheeoutofshadowandintolight.”
Shetossedthecopper
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figureintothebubblingpotion,whereitflashed—orangeandgoldandredflame,aroarlikeawhirlwind,athousandvoicescallingthroughit.
Thenasilencesoprofoundittrembled.
Brannalookedintothebowl,breathedout.“It’sright.Thisisright.This
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canendhim.”“ShouldIreleasethe
fire?”Ionaaskedher.“We’llleaveitto
simmer,onehour,thenofftheflameovernighttocure.AndonSamhain,wechokehimwithit.”
“We’redonefornowthen?”Mearaasked.
“DoneenoughsoI
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wanttoclearmyheadanddrinkagoodglassofwine.”
“Wellthen,we’llbebackinaminute.Ijustneedto...”ShewasalreadypullingConnorfromtheroom.“JustneedConnorforamoment.”
“Whatisit?”Heworried,asshehada
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deathgriponhishandwhileshepulledhimoutthebackoftheworkshop,throughthekitchen.“Areyouupset?Iknowtheritualwasintense,but—”
“Itwas.Itwas.Itwas.”Sheallbutchantedit,dragginghimonthroughthelivingarea,upthestairs.
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“Wasittheblood?Iknowitcanseemharsh,butIpromiseyouit’sneededtomakethepotion,tobespellit.”
“No.Yes.Jesus.Itwasallofit!”Breathless,sheshovedhimintohisbedroom,thenbackagainstthedoortoslamit.
Thenshecoveredhis
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mouthwithhers,allbutfusingtheirlipswiththeheatpouringfromher.
“Oh,”hemanaged,finallyclueinginassherippedhissweaterupandaway.
“Justgiveme.”Shepeeledofftheinsulatedshirtunderthesweater,latchedherteethonhis
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bareshoulder.“Justgiveme.”
He’dhaveslowedthingsdown—abit—butshewasalreadyunhookinghisbelt,andwhatwasamantodo?
Hestartedtugginguphersweater—undressingawomanwasoneofthegreatpleasuresoflife—
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gottangledupwithherverybusyhands.Heconsideredjustrippingitaway,then—
“Ah,tohellwithallthat.”
ThenextthingMearaknewshewasnaked,andsowashe.
“Yes,yes,yes.”Shegrippedhishair,assaulted
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hismouth,moanedwithpleasurewhenhetookherbreasts.
She’dneverbeensowildwithlust,neverknownsuchquaking,roilingneed.Perhapssomethingintheswirlingair,thepulseofthefire,thestunningriseandmergingofpowersand
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magickshadpunchedintoher.
Allsheknewwasshe’dhadtohavehimorgomad.
Hestilltastedofit,thatexoticflavorofmagick—potent,seductive,edgingtowardthedark.Shefelttheripplesofitstillworkinginhim,notyet
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tampeddown.Andwantedthat,
wantedhim,wantedall.Hishandsweren’t
patientnow,butgreedyandroughandquick.Shewantedthataswell,cravedbeingtouchedandtakenasifhislifedependedonit.
Itfeltasifhersdid.
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Hewhippedheraround,forcedherbacktothedoor.Shehadaninstanttolookintohiseyes—fierceandferal—beforehedroveintoher.
She’dthoughtshe’dgomadifhedidn’ttakeher,andnow,beingtaken,wentmad.
Herhips
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jackhammered,challenginghimtomatchherferociouspace.Hernailsbitintohim—back,shoulders—herteethgnawedandscraped.Littlepains,quickandhot,thatfiredintoacrazedpleasurethatenslavedhim.Hisbloodbeathammerstrikesunder
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theskin,sohethrustintoherharder,faster,deeperinabrutal,breathlessrhythm.
Shecriedout,asoundthatjoinedshockandgreed.Andagain,thistimehisnamewithakindofwonder.Whenhegrippedherhips,liftedher,shelockedherlegs
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aroundhiswaist.Heravagedherthroat,
filledhimselfwiththetasteofherashefilledherwithhislustuntilthelastfrayedtethersnapped.
Hebroke,sworehefelttheveryairshatterlikeglassasshetightenedaroundhim,asherfinalcrydiedoffintoa
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shudderingsigh.Limp,theysliddown
tothefloorinasweatytangleoflimbs.
“God.MysweetGod.”Shedrewinairlikeadrowningwomansurfacing.
Strugglingforbreath,hemanagedagrunt,thenfloppedoffhertolieon
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hisbackwithhiseyesclosedandhischestheaving.
“Isthefloorshaking?”“Idon’tthinkso.”He
openedhiseyes,staredattheceiling.“Maybe.No,”hedecided.“Ithinkweare—ormorewhatyoucouldcallvibrating.Thereareboundtobe
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aftershocksafteranearthquake,I’mtold.”
Hereachedoutblindlytopather,andhishandlandedonherbreast.Afineplace.“Areyouallrightthen?”
“I’mnotallright.I’mamazingandamazed.IfeellikeI’vegoneflyingagain.Itwasthewayyou
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looked—likeyou’dbeenlitupfromtheinside,andyourhairflyingaroundinthewindyou’dmade,andthepowerofitallbeatingliketribaldrums.Icouldn’thelpit.I’msorry,butIcouldn’tcontrolmyself.”
“You’reforgiven.I’maforgivingsortofman.”
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Shesighedoutalaugh,laidahandoverhis.“Andnowhereweare,nakedandspentonyourfloor—andyourroom’sadisasterofamessasalways.”
Heturnedhishead,glancedaround.Notadisaster,exactly,hecalculated.Trueenoughtherewereshoesand
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bootsandclothesandbooksscatteredaround.Andhe’dneverseenthepoint—asevereandsharpboneofcontentionbetweenhimandhissister—onmakingabedwhenyouwereonlygoingtogetbackinitagain.
Topleaseher,hewavedahand,hadthe
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shoesandbootsandclothesandbooks—andwhateverelselayonthefloor—pileupinacorner.He’ddealwithitall—atsomepoint.
Butfornowhewavedhishandagain,hadrosepetalsrainingdown.Shelaughed,grabbedahandfulfromtheair,then
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scatteredthemoverhishair.
“You’reafoolishromantic,Connor.”
“There’snotathingfoolishaboutromance.”Hedrewherover,pillowedherheadonhisshoulder.“There,that’saltogetherbetter.”
Shecouldn’targue,and
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yet.“Weshouldgodown.They’llbewonderingwhatwe’reupto.”
“Oh,I’llwagertheyknowperfectlywellwhatwe’reupto.Sowe’lltakealittletime.”
Alittle,shedecided.“I’llneedmyclothesagain—fromwhereveryousentthem.”
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“I’llgetthembacktoyou.Butnotquiteyet.”
Sheletherselfbecontentwithherheadpillowedonhisshoulder,andtheairfullofrosepetals.
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A
14
SSEPTEMBERTICKEDONTOOCTOBER,BRANNAdragooned
ConnorandIonainto
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helpingharvestthevegetablesfromherbackgarden.ShesetIonaonpickingthefatpeapods,Connortodiggingpotatoes,whileshepulledcarrotsandturnips.
“Itsmellssogood.”Ionastraightenedtosniffattheair.“Inthespringwhenweplanted,itall
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smelledfreshandnew,andthatwaswonderful.Andnowitsmellsripeandready,andthat’sadifferentwonderful.”
ConnorsentIonaabalefulstareasheshoveled.“Saythatwhenshehasyouscrubbingallthis,andboilingorblanchingorwhateverthe
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bloodyhellitis.”“Youdon’tcomplain
whenyoueatthemealsImakeallwinterwiththevegetablesIjarorfreeze.Infact...”
Shemovedover,pluckedaplumpplumtomatofromthevine,sniffedit.“I’veamindtomakemybluecheeseand
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tomatosouptonight.”Knowinghisfondness
forit,BrannasmiledwhenConnorgavehertheeye.“That’sacannywaytokeepmeworking.”
“I’macannysort.”Harvestingputherina
finemood.Shemightpluckandpickthroughthesummer,butthebasics
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ofbountyshe’djarupforthecomingwintergaveheralovelysenseofaccomplishment.
Andthework,asfarasBrannawasconcerned,onlyaddedtoit.
“Iona,youcouldpickagoodpairofcucumbers.I’llbemakingsomebeautycreamslater,and
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I’llneedthem.”“Idon’tknowhowyou
managetodosomuch.Keepthehouse,agarden,cook,makeallthestockforyourshop—runabusiness.Plottodestroyevil.”
“Maybeit’smagick.”Enjoyingthescentofthem,thefeelofthemin
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herhand,Brannaaddedmoretomatoestoherbucket.“Butit’sthetruthIlovewhatitisIdo,somosttimesit’snotmuchlikeworking.”
“Tellthattothemanwiththeshovel,”Connorcomplained,andwasignored.
“You’veplentydished
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onyourownplate,”BrannasaidtoIona.“Youdon’tseemtomindspendingeachdayshovelingawayhorsedung,haulingbalesofhayandstraw,ridingaboutthewoodsnatteringtotouristswholikelyaskmostofthesamequestionsdaily.Addallthestudyingand
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practiceyou’vedoneonthecraftsincelastwinterwhenyoucouldbarelysparkacandlewick.”
“Iloveitall,too.Ihaveahomeandaplace,apurpose.Ihavefamilyandamanwholovesme.”Liftingherfacetothesky,Ionabreatheddeep.“AndIhavemagick.Ionlyhad
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hintsofthat,onlyhadNanasrealfamilybeforeIcamehere.”
Sheshiftedtothecucumbers,selectedtwo.“AndI’dlovetobeabletoplantalittlegarden.IfIlearnedhowtocanthings,thenI’dfeelI’ddonemypartwhenBoyleendsupdoingmostofthe
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cooking.”“There’sroomenough
foroneatBoyle’s.Doyouplanonstayingthereonceyou’remarried?”
“Oh,it’sfinefornow.Morethanfineforthetwoofus,andclosetoeverythingandeveryonewewanttobecloseto.But...wewanttostarta
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family,andsoonerratherthanlater.”
Brannaadjustedthestrawhatsheworemoreforthetraditionofitthanasablockfromthesunthatpeekedinandoutofpuffywhitecloudsonadaythatspokemoreofsummerthanfall.
“Thenyou’llwanta
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house,andnotjustroomsoverFin’sgarage.”
“We’rethinkingaboutit,butneitherofuswantstogiveupbeingclosetoallofyou,orthestables,sowe’rejustthinkingaboutit.”Bendingbacktoherwork,Ionapickedabrightyellowsquash.“There’stheweddingto
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planfirst,andIhaven’tevendecidedonmydressortheflowers.”
“Butyouhavewhatyouwantinmindforboth.”
“IhaveasortofvisionofthedressIwant.Ithink—Connor,fairwarning,asthiswillboreyoubrainless.”
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“Thepotatoeshavealreadydonethat.”Hepluckedthemoutofshoveleddirtforthebucket.
“Anyway,Iwantthelongwhitedress,butIthinkmoreavintagestylethananythingsleekandmodern.Notrainorveil,moresimplebutstill
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beautiful.Likesomethingyourgrandmothermighthaveworn—butabitupdated.Nanwouldgivemehers,butit’sivoryandIwantwhite,andshe’staller—and,well,it’snotreallyit,asmuchasI’dlovetowearafamilydress.”
Shepickedacherry
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tomato,poppeditwarmintohermouth.“God,that’sgood.Anyway,I’vebeenlookingonline,togettheidea,andafterSamhain,I’mhopingyouandIandMearacangoonarealhunt.”
“I’dloveit.Andtheflowers?”
“I’vegonearoundand
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aroundonthat,too,thenIrealized...Iwantyourflowers.”
“Mine?”“Imeanthelookof
yourflowers,yourgardens.”
Straighteningagain,Ionawavedahandtowardthehappymixofzinnias,foxglove,begonias,
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nasturtiums.“Notspecifictypesorcolors.Allofthem.Allthatcolorandjoy,justthewayyoumanagetoplantthemsotheylookunstudiedandhappy,andstunningallatonce.”
“ThenyouwantLola.”“Lola?”“She’saflorist,hasa
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placejustthissideofGalwayCity.She’sacustomerofmine.Isendhervatsofhandcreamasdoingupflowersismurderonthehands.Andshe’lloftenordercandlesbythegrosstogowithherarrangementsforawedding.She’sanartistwithblooms,Ipromise
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you.I’llgiveyouhernumberifyouwantit.”
“Ido.Shesoundsperfect.”
IonaglancedtowardConnor.Hecrouchedonthegroundstudyingapotatoasifithadtheanswertoallthequestionsprintedonitsskin.
“IwarnedyouI’dbore
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youbrainless.”“No,it’snotthat.Itgot
methinkingaboutfamily,aboutgardensandflowers.AndthebluebellTeaganaskedmetoplantathermother’sgrave.Ihaven’tdoneit.”
“It’stoomuchofarisktogotoSorcha’scabinnow,”Brannareminded
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him.“Iknowit.Andstill,
it’sallsheasked.ShehelpedhealMeara,andallsheaskedwasthatIplanttheflowers.”
Settingdownherbucket,Brannacrossedovertohim,croucheddownsotheywereface-to-face.“Andwewill.
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We’llplantthebluebell—ahectareofthemifthat’swhatyouwant.We’llhonorhermother,who’soursaswell.ButnoneofusaretogonearSorcha’sgraveuntilafterSamhain.You’llpromisemethat.”
“Iwouldn’triskmyself,andbydoingthatriskall.Butitweighson
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me,Branna.Shewasjustagirl.Andwiththelookofyou,Iona.AndI’mlookingatyou,”hesaidtoBranna,“justlikeIlookedatSorcha’sBrannaugh,andIcouldseehowshe’dbeinanothertenyears,andseehowyouwereatherage.Therewastoomuchsorrowanddutyin
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hereyes,astoooftenthere’stoomuchinyours.”
“Whenwe’vedonewhatwe’vesworntodo,thesorrowanddutywillbedone.”Shegavehisgrubbyhandasqueeze.“They’llknowitjustaswedo.I’msureofthat.”
“Whycan’twesee,
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youandmetogether?AndwithIonathethree?Whycan’tweseehowitends?”
“Youknowtheanswertothat.Aslongasthere’schoice,theendisneverset.Whathehas,andallthat’sgonebefore,itblursthevision,Connor.”
“We’rethelight.”Ionastoodwithherbucketof
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pods,gardensoilstainingthekneesofherjeans.AndtheringBoylehadgivenhersparklingonherfinger.“Whateverhecomeswith,howeverhecomes,we’llfight.Andwe’llwin.Ibelievethat.AndIbelieveitbecauseyoudo,”shetoldConnor.“Becausewithyourwhole
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lifeleadingtothis,knowingitdid,youbelieve.He’sabullyandabastardhidingbehindpowerhebarteredforwithsomedevil.Whatweare?”Shelaidahandonherheart.“Whatwehaveisfromthebloodandfromthelight.We’llcuthimdownwiththatlight,
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andsendhimtohell.Iknowit.”
“Wellsaid.Andthere.”BrannagaveConnorapoke.“That’sourownIona’sSt.Crispin’sDayspeech.”
“Itwaswellsaid.It’sjustamoodhangingoverme.Apromisenotyetkept.”
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“Onethatwillbe,”Brannasaid.“Andit’snotjustthatanddiggingpotatoesthat’sputyouinamood—asouronethat’srareforyou.HaveyouandMearahadafight?”
“Notatall.It’sallgrand.ImightworryhereandthereatthewayCabhan’stakentoofine
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aninterestinher.Whenit’soneofus,wehaveweaponforweapon,magickstomagicks.She’sonlywitandspine,andabladeifshe’scarryingone.”
“Whichservesherwell,andshewearsyourprotectivestones,carriesthecharmswemade.It’s
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allwecando.”“Ihadherbloodonmy
hands.”Helookeddownatthemnow,sawthewetredofMeara’sbloodratherthanthegood,darksoil.“IfindIcan’tgetaroundit,getpastit,soI’maftertextingherahalfdozentimesaday,makingupsomefoolishreason,
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justtobesureshe’ssafe.”“She’dknockyouflat
forthat.”“Iknowitwell.”“IworryaboutBoyle,
too.AndCabhanhasn’tpaidanyrealattentionthere.It’snatural,”Ionaadded,“forustohaveconcernsaboutthetwopeoplewecareaboutwho
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don’thavethesamearsenalwedo.”ShelookedatBranna.“Youworry,too.”
“Ido,yes.Evenknowingthere’snothingwecandowehaven’tdone,Iworry.”
“Ifithelps,IpromiseI’mwithheralotduringtheworkday.Andwhen
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shetakesoutagroup—eversincethewolfshadowedher—Ibraidacharmintoherhorse’smane.”
Connorsmiled.“Doyou?”
“Sheindulgesme,andsodoesBoyle.I’vebeenaddingthemtoallthehorsesasoftenasIcan
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manage.Itmakesmefeelbetterwhenwehavetoleavethematnight.”
“Igavehersomelotiontheotherday,askedhertouseiteveryday,totestitforme.”NowBrannasmiled.“Icharmedit.”
“Theonethatsmellsofapricotsandhoney?It’slovely.”Hekissed
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Branna’scheeks.“Sothat’sthanksonamagickalandaromanticsortoflevel.Ishould’veknownthepairofyouwouldaddprecautions.Forme,she’sneveroutofRoibeard’ssightunlessshe’sinmine.”
“Well,giveherovertoMerlinforanhourorso—
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Finwouldbewilling.Andgohawking.”Withahandonhisshoulderforaboost,Brannarose.“Putthepotatoesinthelittlecellarandtakeyourhawkoutforabit.Iexpectyoucouldbothusethetime.”
“Whatabouttheboilingandblanchingandalltherest?”
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“You’redismissed.”“Andthesoup?”Shelaughed,gavehim
alightknockontheheadwithherfist.“Here’smythought.TellBoyleI’llneedMearaaroundherein...”Brannalookedupatthebeamingsun,calculatedthetime.“Threehourswillwork.
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Thentherestofyoushouldbeherebyhalf-six.We’llhaveyoursoup,andarocketsaladasI’llhaveIonacutitfresh,somebrownbread,andcreamcake.”
“Cake?Whatoccasionisthis?”
“We’llhaveacéili.It’slongpasttimewehada
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partyhere.”Brushinghishandson
hispants,Connorpushedtohisfeet.“IcanseeIneedtodevelopasourmoodmoreoften.”
“Itwon’tworkasecondtime.Gostorethosepotatoes,gofindyourhawk,andbebackhereathalf-six.”
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“I’lldoallthat.Thanks.”
Shewentback,pickedmoretomatoesasnowshe’dbemakingthesoupforsix,andglancedoveratIonaafterConnorhadgone.
“Hedoesn’tknowyet,”Ionasaid.“He’dtellyouifhedid.Youifnoone
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else.Sohedoesn’tknowhe’sinlovewithher.”
“Hedoesn’tknowyet,buthe’scomingaroundtoit.Surehe’slovedherallhislife,sorealizingit’sanothersortoflovethanhelethimselfbelievetakessometime.”
Brannalookedtowardthecottage,thoughtof
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him,thoughtofMeara.“She’stheonlyonehe’lleverwantalifewith,oralifetime.Othershaveandcouldtouchhisheart,butnonebutMearacouldbreakit.”
“Sheneverwould.”“Sheloveshim,and
alwayshas.Andhe’stheonlyoneshe’lleverwant
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alifewith,oralifetime.Butshehasn’thisfaithinloveoritspower.Ifshecantrustherselfandhim,they’llmakeeachother.Ifshecan’t,she’llbreakhisheartandherown.”
“Ibelieveinloveanditspower.AndIbelievethatwhengiventhechoice,Mearawillreach
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forit,holdontoit,andtreasureit.”
“IhopemorethanIhopeforalmostanythingelseyou’reright.”Brannaletoutabreath.“Meanwhile,thetwoofthemhaven’tyetfiguredwhynooneelseintheworldhasevermadethemfeelastheydonow.The
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heart,it’safierceandmysteriousthing.Let’sgetallthisinside,scrubbedoff.I’llshowyouhowtostartthesoup,thenwe’llseehowmuchwecanjarbeforeMearacomes.”
***
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SHEARRIVED,TIMELYANDOUTOFSORTS.
Onceshe’dstalkedthroughtothekitchen,shefistedherhandsonherhips,frownedattheshiningjarsofcolorfulvegetablescoolingonthecounter,thesoupsimmeringlowonthestove.
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“What’sallthis?Ifyou’vecalledmeheretodokitchenwork,you’retobesorelydisappointed.I’vehadenoughworkaltogethertoday.”
“We’renearlydone,”Brannasaidpleasantly.
“I’mhavingabeer.”Mearacompletedherstalktothefridge,yankedouta
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bottleofSmithwick’s.“Iseverythingallright
atthestables?”MearasnarledatIona.
“Allright?Oh,sureit’sbeenmorethanallrightwithushavingasummerdayinOctoberandeveryblessedsoulwithinfiftykilometersdecidingnothingwoulddobutthey
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rideahorsetoday.IfIwasn’ttakingoutagroup,Iwasdoingrubdownsorhaulingsaddlesin,haulingthemout.”
Shewavedthebeerintheairbeforeopeningit.“Anddidn’tCaesartakeitinhisheadtobiteRufusonthearse,andthisafterItoldtheSpanishlady
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ridinghimtogivethehorsessomespace.SothenIhadanearhystericalSpanishladyonmyhands,andIcanbarelyunderstandherasshe’shystericalinSpanish,anddoinghalfthetalkingwithherhandssothereinsareflyingaboutgivingCaesarthe
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notionshewantsafinegallop.”
“OhGod.”Ionaspoiledtheattempttosoundconcernedbychokingoffalaugh.
“Ohsureit’sanamusementtoyou.”
“Onlyalittle,becauseIknowit’sallright,andyouwouldn’thaveputher
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onCaesarifshecouldn’tride.”
“Forallherhysterics,sherodelikeabloodyconquistador,andIhaveasuspicionsheangledforthegallopallalong.Fortunately,IwasonyourAlastar,andcaughtupwithhereasy.Grinningwideshewas,thoughshe
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triedtoturnthataroundwhenIgotholdofCaesar’sbridleandpulledhimup.AndIsweartoyou—”
Nowshepointed,facelivid.“Isweartoyouthetwohorseshadaheartylaughoveritall.”Shechuggeddownbeer.“AndafterthatoneIhadfive
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teens.Fivegirlteens.AndthatIcan’ttalkaboutatallorImighthaveSpanishhystericsmyself.Andyou.”Shepointedagain,anaccusingjabatIona.“You’veafreedaytoplayaboutinthegardensasyou’resleepingwiththeboss.”
“I’msuchaslut.”
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“Well,thereyouare.”Mearadrankagain.“Andthat’swhyIwon’tbedoinganykitchenworkorgardenwork,andifthere’sspellsorenchantmentstobedone,I’llrequireanotherbeerattheveryleast.”
Brannaglancedovertowardthejarsatatrioof
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tinypops—asignthelidshadsealed.“That’sagoodsound.There’snoworkatall.We’rehavingthedayoff.”
ThistimeMearadrankslowly.“Hasshefallenunderaspellherself?”sheaskedIona.“Orhasshebeenintothewhiskey?”
“Neither,butthere
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shouldbewhiskeylater.We’rehavingacéili.”
“Acéili?”“I’vethefirstofmy
harvestingdone,andthejarringaswell.We’vehadasummerdayinOctober.”Brannadriedoffherhands,laidtheclothout.“Sohaveyoursingingvoiceready,
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Meara,andputonyourdancingshoes.I’minthemoodforaparty.”
“Areyousurethisisn’taspell?”
“We’veworkedandworried,plannedandplotted.It’stimewetookanight.We’llhopehehearsourmusic,anditburnshisears.”
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“Iwon’targuewiththat.”Morecontemplativelynow,Mearatookanothersipofbeer.“Ihatetoriskspoilingthisraremoodofyours,butIshouldtellyouIsawhimtwicetoday—theshadow.Firstoftheman,andnextthewolf.Justwatching,nomore
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thanthat.Butsureit’senoughtoplayonthenerves.”
“Hedoesitforthat,sowe’llshowhimhecan’tstopusfromliving.Andspeakingofjustthat,I’llneedyoubothupstairs.”
“You’refullofsurprisesandmystery,”Mearadecided.“Dothe
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othersknowyou’reafterhavingaparty?”sheaskedastheystartedupstairs.
“Connorwillletthemknow.”
Brannaledthemintoherbedroom,where,unlikeConnor’s,everythingwasperfectlyinplace.
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Shehadthelargestspace—builttoherspecificationswhensheandConnorexpandedthecottage.She’dpaintedthewallsadeepforestgreen,andwiththedark,tree-barktrim,sheoftenthoughtitwaslikesleepinginthedeepwoods.She’dchosenthe
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artcarefully,followingfancywithpaintingsofmermaidsandfaeries,dragonsandelves.
She’dindulgedherselfwiththebed,withaCeltictrinityknotcarvedintoitshighhead–andfootboard.Agardenofpillowsmoundedonitsthickwhiteduvet.Achest,built
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andpaintedbyhergreat-grandfathersatatitsfootandheldthemostpreciousofthetoolsofhercraft.
Shefetchedalonghookfromherclosetand,fittingitintothelittleslotintheceiling,drewdowntheatticdoorandsteps.
“Ineedtoget
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something.I’llonlybeaminute.”
“Italwaysfeelssopeacefulinhere.”Ionawalkedtothewindowsthatlookedoutoverfieldsandwoodstotherollofgreenhillsbeyond.
“Theydogoodworkbetweenthem,BrannaandConnor.Ienvyheren
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suitebathwiththatbigtubandthehectareofcounter.OfcourseifIhadthatmuchcounterinmybath,I’dclutteritup.Andhershas...”
Mearawenttothedoor,peekedin.“Aprettyvaseofcallalilies,fancysoapsinadish,threefatwhitecandlesongorgeous
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silverholders.I’dsayitwaswitchcraft,butshe’sjustbrutalabouttidiness.”
“Iwishsomeofitwouldruboffonme,”IonasaidasBrannacamedownthestepswithabigwhitebox.“Oh,letmehelpyou.”
“I’vegotit,’tisn’theavy.”Shelaidthewhite
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boxonthewhiteduvet.“Sowhenwetalkedaboutweddings,anddressesandflowersandallofthat,Ihadthisthought.”
Afteropeningthebox,shefoldedbacklayersandlayersoftissuepaper,thenliftedoutalongwhitedress.
Iona’sgaspwas
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exactlythereactionshe’dhopedfor.
“Oh,it’sbeautiful.Justgorgeous.”
“Itis,yes.Mygreat-grandmotherworeitonherweddingday,andIthoughtitmightsuitforyours.”
Eyeswide,Ionatookaquickstepback.“I
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couldn’t.Icouldn’t,Branna,itshouldbeforyou,foryours.Itwasyourgreat-grandmother’s.”
“Andshe’syourbloodaswellasmine.Itwouldn’tsuitme,thoughit’slovely.Thestyle’snotforme.Andshewaspetite,asyouare.”
Headcocked,Branna
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heldthedressinfrontofIona.“I’llaskyoutotryiton—indulgemeinthat.Ifitdoesn’tsuit,ifitisn’twhatpleasesyou,noharmdone.”
“Tryitonthen,Iona.You’refrothingto.”
“Okay,okay!Oh,thisisfun.”Shebegantostrip,allbutdancingasshedid.
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“IneverthoughtI’dbetryingonaweddingdresstoday.”
“You’vetheundersforahoneymoon.”MeararaisedherbrowsatIona’slacypalebluebraandmatchingpanties.
“I’veboughtanentirenewsupply.It’sproventobeanexcellent
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investment.”ShelaughedasBrannahelpedherstepintothedress.
“Buttonuptheback,willyou,Meara?”BrannasaidasIonacarefullyslidherarmsinthethinlacesleeves.
“Thereareamillionofthem,andsotiny,andprettylikepearls.”
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“ShewasSiobhanO’Ryan,whomarriedColmO’Dwyer,andwasanaunttoyourowngrandmother,Iona,ifI’vegotitallstraight.Thelength’sgoodasyou’llbewearingheels,Iimagine.”Brannafluffedthetiersoflace-edgedtulle.
“Itmight’vebeenmade
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foryouthewayitfits.”Mearacontinuedtofastenbuttons.
“Oh,it’ssobeautiful.”SmilingatherselfinBranna’slongmirror,Ionabrushedfingertipsoverthelacebodice,downthetieredcolumnofskirt.
“There!That’sthelot,’
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MearasaidasshedidupthelastbuttonsatthebaseofIona’sneck.“Youlookapicture,Iona.”
“Ido.Ireallydo.”“Theskirt’sperfect,I
think.”Nodding,BrannawalkedaroundIonaashercousinswayedthiswayandthattomaketheskirtsweep.“Soft,romantic,
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justenoughfussbutnottoomuch.ButI’mthinkingthebodicecouldusesomealtering.It’sfartooold-fashionedandfartoomodest.Vintageisonething,coveringyoutothechin’sanother.”
“Oh,butwecan’tchangeit.You’vekeptitalltheseyears.”
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“Whatcanbechangedcanbechangedbackagain.Turnaroundhereonce.”SheturnedIonaherself,puttingherbacktothemirror.“Theseshouldgo.”Brannasweptherhandsdownthesleeves,vanishingthem,glancedatMeara.
“Altogetherbetter
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already.Andthebackhere?Don’tyouthink...”
BrannapursedherlipsasMearatracedalowvee,thenwithanod,traceditherselftoopenthebacktojustabovethewaist.“Yes,she’salovelystrongbackandshouldshowitoff.Nowthebodice.”
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Headanglingthisway,thatway,BrannawalkedacirclearoundIona.“Perhapsthis...”Shechangedthebodicetoastraightlinejustabovethebreastswiththinstraps.
Mearafoldedherarms.“Ilikeit!”
“Mmm,butit’snotquiteright.”Thinking,
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imagining,Brannatriedanoff-the-shoulderstyle,withahintofcapsleeves.SteppedbacktostudywithMeara.
Theybothshooktheirheads.
“CanIjust—”“No!”Andbothof
themsnappedoutthedenialasIonastartedto
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peekoverhershoulder.“Thefirstyoudidwas
betterbyfar.”“Itwas,but...”
Brannaclosedhereyesamomentuntiltheimageformed.Thenopeningthem,shewavedherhandsslowlyoverthebodice.
“That!”Mearalaida
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handonBranna’sshoulder.“Don’ttouchit.Letherlooknow.”
“Allright.Ifyoudon’tlikeit,you’veonlytosay.Turnaround,havealook.”
Andthelooksaiditall.Notjustacontentedsmilenow,butastunnedgaspfollowedbyaluminous
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glow.Bride-whitelace
formedastraplessbodicewiththecurveofasweetheartneckline.Fromthenippedwaist,thelace-edgedtullefellinsoft,romantictiers.
“Shelikesit,”Mearasaidwithalaugh.
“No,no,no.Iloveit
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morethanIcansay.Oh,Branna.”Tearsglimmerednowasshemethercousin’seyesintheglass.
“Thebackwasmynotion,”Meararemindedher,andhadIonaanglingtolook.“Oh!Oh,Meara.It’sfabulous.It’swonderful.It’sthemostbeautifuldressinthe
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world.”Shespunaroundinit,
laughedthroughthetears.“I’mabride.”
“Almost.Let’splayabitmore.”
“Ohplease.”Asiftoprotect,Ionacrossedherarmsoverthebodice.“Branna,Iloveitexactlyasitis.”
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“Notwiththedress,foritcouldn’tbemoreperfectforyou.Noveilyousaid,andIagree.Whataboutsomethinglikethis?”
SheranafingeroverIona’scapofsunnyhairsoIonaworearainbowoftinyrosebudsonasparklingband.“Thatsuitsthedress,andyou,I
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think—andsomethingforyourears.YourNanmighthavejustthething,butfornow...”Sheaddedtinydiamondstars.
“Thatworkswell.”Adress,Branna
thought,suitedtotheshowerofsunlightandtheglimmerofthemoon.Suitedforadayoflove
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andpromises,andanightofrejoicing.
“Idon’thavethewordstothankyouforthis.It’snotjustthedress—howitlooks,whichisbeyondanythingIhopedfor.Butthatit’sfromfamily.”
“You’remine,”Brannatoldher,“asisBoyle.”Sheslidanarmaround
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Meara’swaist.“Ours.”“We’reacircleaswell,
wethree.”MearatookIona’shand.“It’simportanttoknowthat,andvaluethat.Beyondalltherest,we’reacircleaswell.”
“Andthat’sbeyondanythingIoncehopedfor.OnthedayImarryBoyle,
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myhappiestday,you’llbothstandwithme.We’llstand,wethree,thethreeandallsix.Nothingcaneverbreakthat.”
“Nothingcanorwill,”Brannaagreed.
“AndnowIseewhyyoudecidedtocelebrate.Spanishhystericsbedamned,”Meara
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announced.“I’minthemoodtosingandputmydancingshoeson.”
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T
15
HEKITCHENSMELLEDOFCOOKING,ANDTHEPEATFIREinthe
hearth.Itglowedwith
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light,shovingthebright,celebrationalglowagainstthedarkthatpressedagainstthewindows.Thedogstretchedbythefire,bigheadonbigpaws,watchinghisfamilywithanamusedeye.
Therewasmusic,fullofpipesandstrings,rollickingoutofthelittle
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kitcheniPodwhiletheyputthefinishingtouchesonthemeal.Voicesmixedandmingled,songandconversationasConnorswungIonaaroundinaquickdance.
“I’mstillsoclumsy!”“You’renotatall,”he
toldher.“You’reonlyneedingmorepractice.”
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Hetwirledheronce,andtwiceonherlaugh,thenpassedhersmoothlytoBoyle.“Giveheraspin,man.I’veprimedherforyou.”
“AndI’llbreakhertoeswhenItrodonherfeet.”
“You’relightenoughonthemwhenyou’veamindtoit.”
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Boyleonlysmiledandliftedhisbeer.“Ihaven’thadenoughpintsforthat.”
“We’lltendtothataswell.”ConnorgrabbedMeara’shand,sentherawink,thenexecutedaquickcomplicatedstep,bootsclacking,clickingontheglossywoodfloor.
AndMearaangledher
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head—asilentacceptanceofthechallenge.Mirroredit.Twobeatslatertheyclicked,stomped,kickedinperfectunisontothemusic,and,Ionathought,tosomeenergeticchoreographyintheirminds.
Shewatchedthemfaceeachother,torsosstraight
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andstillwhiletheirlegsandfeetseemedtofly.
“It’sliketheywereborndancing.”
“Ican’tsayabouttheQuinns,”Fincommented,“buttheO’Dwyershavealwaysbeenmusical.Hands,feet,voices.Thebestcéilieshereaboutshaveforeverbeenhosted
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bytheO’Dwyers.”“Magickal,”shesaid
withasmile.Hisgazeslidtoward
Branna,lingeredamoment.“Inallways.”
“AndwhatabouttheBurkes?Dotheydance?”
“We’vebeenknownto.Myself,Idobetteratitwithmyhandsona
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woman.AndsinceBoyle’snotmakingthemove,I’mobligedto.”
HesurprisedIonabypullinghertohim,circlingherfast,thendroppingintostepsthattookthedanceintoahalftime.Afteramoment’sfumbling,shecaughton,matchedhimwellenough,
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withhisarmsguidingher.“I’dsaytheBurkes
holdtheirown.”Whenhetwirledher
around,shelevitatedherselfafewinchesoffthefloorandmadehimlaugh.
“AsdoestheAmericancousin.I’mlookingforwardtodancingwith
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youatyourwedding.ItmaybeI’llhavetobestandinginforthegroomonthat,whilehestandsonthesidelines.”
“NowIseeI’venochoiceinthematter,orfindmyselfshownupbyFinbarBurke.”
BoylesnatchedIonaaway,solvedtheissueof
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hislesstalentedfeetbyliftingheroffhersandturningcircles.
AndBrannafoundherselffacingFin.
Connorsawthemoment,squeezedMeara’shandinhis.
“Willyou?”Finasked.“I’mabouttoput
dinneronthetable.”
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Hesaid,“Once,”andtookherhand.
Theyhadaway,Connorthought,asmoothwayofflowingalongwiththemusic,intime,instep,asifthey’dbeenmadetomovetogether.
Hissoftheartachedforthem,bothofthem,foritwasloveashimmerin
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theirsteps.Aroundthekitchen,theyturned,flowed,turned,eyesforeachotheronly,easyandhappyasthey’doncebeen.
Besidehim,Mearastoppedashehad,andleanedherheadagainsthisshoulder.
Foronelovely
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moment,allwasrightintheworld.Allwasasithadbeenonce,howitmightbeyetagain.
ThenBrannastopped,andthoughshesmiled,thelovelymomentshattered.
“Wellnow,Ihopeyou’veallworkedupanappetite.”
Finmurmured
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somethingtoher,inIrish,buttoosoftandlowforConnortounderstand.Hersmilefelltowardsorrowassheturnedaway.
“We’llhavemoremusicafterourmeal,andthere’swineaplenty.”Movementsbrisk,Brannaturnedthemusicdown.“Tonight’snotforworkor
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worries.We’vefoodfreshfromthegardentonight,andourownIonamadethesoup.”
Thatpronouncementbroughtonalong,hushedsilencethathunguntilIonarolledoutalaugh.“Comeon!I’mnotthatbadacook.”
“Ofcourseyou’renot,”
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Boylesaidwiththeairofamanfacingahard,unhappytask.Hewenttothestove,spoonedupatastestraightfromthepot.Sampled,liftedhiseyebrows,sampledagain.“It’sgood.It’sverygoodindeed.”
“Idon’tknowifamaninlove’stobetrusted,”
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Connorconsidered.“Butwe’lleat.”
Theyateabountyfromthegarden,kepttheconversationlightandawayfromallthingsdark.Wineflowedfreely.
“Andhow’syourmotherfaringinGalway?”FinaskedMeara.
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“I’mnotreadytosayshe’stheretostay,butclosertoit.Ihadatalkwithmysister,who’sthatsurprisedit’sahappyarrangement—fornowinanycase.Mymother’sworkinginthegarden,andkeepingitintrim.Andshe’sstruckupabitofafriendshipwitha
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neighborwho’sakeengardenerherself.Ifyoucouldholdthecottageabitlonger—”
“Aslongasyouneed,”Fininterrupted.“I’veamindtodoafewupdatesthere.Whenyou’vetimeenough,Connor,wecouldtalkaboutabitofworkontheplace.”
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“I’vealwaystimeenoughforthat.I’vemissedthechallengeandfunofbuildingandfixingsincewefinishedoffthecottage.Didyoutrulydothesoup,Iona,forit’smorethangood.”Sosaying,hetookanotherladlefromthetureen.
“Brannawatchedme
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likeRoibeard,andtookmethroughitstepbystep.”
“I’mhopingyou’llberememberingthesteps,asI’llbeaskingyoutomakeitathome.”
Pleased,IonagrinnedatBoyle.“We’llhavetoplanttomatoes.I’mprettygoodwithagarden.We
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couldtrysomenextyear—inpatiopots.”
“Suremaybewe’llfindsomethingwithabitoflandbythen,andyoucanhaveapropergarden.”
“Itmaybeyou’llbetoobusywithweddingsandhoneymoonsnextspringtoplanttomatoes,”Mearapointedout.
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“Andwe’vemorethanenoughheretoshare,”Brannaadded.“Youhaven’tfoundaplacethatsuitsyoumorethanwhereyouare?”
“Notyet,andnohurryonit,”Boylesaid,glancingatIona.
“None,”sheconfirmed.“Welikebeingclosetoall
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ofyou,andtothestables.Infact,we’rebothsetonstayingclose,sountilwefindsomethingthathitsallthenotes,welikejustwhereweare.”
“Buildingyourowntendstohitthosenotes,asI’vereasontoknow.”Finpouredmorewine,allaround.
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“Youwroteabloodyoperawhenyoubuiltyourhouse,”Boylecommented.
“Surewhatfunitwastohaveahandinthat,”Connorremembered.“ThoughFinwasasfussyasyourauntMaryabouteverythingfromarunoftiletocabinetpulls.
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“That’swhatmakesitasatisfyingendeavor,ifyou’reinnoparticularhurry.There’slandbehindmyownplace,”Fincontinued,“whereahousecouldbetuckednicelyinthetreesifsomeonelikedthenotionofthat.AndI’dbewillingtosellaparceltogoodneighbors.”
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“Areyouserious?”Iona’sspoonclatteredagainstherbowl.
“Aboutgoodneighbors,yes.I’venowishtobesaddledwithpoorones,evenwithplentyofspacebetween.”
“Acottageinthewoods.”Eyesshining,IonaturnedtoBoyle.“We
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couldbeexcellentneighbors.Wecouldbeamazingneighbors.”
“Whenyouboughtallthat,yousaiditwastokeeppeoplefromplantinghousesaroundyou.”
“Peopleareonething,”FinsaidtoBoyle.“Friendsandfamily—andpartners—there’sanother
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thingentirely.Wecantakealookaroundsometimeoranotherifyou’veanyinterest.”
“Iguessnow’stoosoon,”Ionasaidwithalaugh.“ButthenIdon’thaveasingleideahowtodesignorbuildahouse.”
“Sureyou’reluckyyouhaveacoupleofcousins
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whodo,”Connorpointedout.“AndIknowsomegoodworkmenhereandaboutifyoudecidetogothatway.Whichwouldsuitmedowntotheground,”headded,“ifI’veavoteinit.IcangohawkingbackthereasIdo,andhavethebenefitofstoppinginforabowlof
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soup.”“Hethinkswithhis
stomach,”Mearacommented.“Buthe’srightenough.Itwouldbealovelyspotforacottage,andjustwhereyouwantittobe.It’safinenotion,Fin.”
“Afinenotion,buthe’syettotalkprice.”
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FinsmiledatBoyle,liftedhisglass.“We’llgettothat—afteryourbride’shadalook.”
“Acannybusinessmanhe’salwaysbeen,”Brannasaid.“She’llfallinloveandpayanyprice.”Butshesaiditwithhumor,notsting.“Anditisafinenotion.More,it’ssaved
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meaquandary,forthefieldbehindhereisforConnor.ButwithIonabeingfamily,I’vebeentornaboutit—eventhough...I’vewalkeditcountlesstimes,anditneversaidIona.IcouldneverseeyouandBoylemakingyourhomethere,thoughyou’dhavebeenin
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sightofourown,andit’saprettyspotwithalovelyviewofthings.Inevercouldunderstandthewayofthat.NowIdo.You’llhaveyourcottageinthewoods.”
Sheliftedherglassinturn.“Blessedbe.”
***
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BRANNABROUGHTOUTHERVIOLINAFTERTHEMEAL,ANDjoinedhervoicewithMeara’s.Onlyhappytunes,andlivelyones.Connorfetchedthebodendrumfromhisroom,addedatribalbeat.ToIona’ssurpriseand
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delight,Boyledisappearedforafewmomentsandcamebackwithamelodeon.
“Youplay?”IonagapedatBoyle,atthelittlebuttonaccordionheheld.“Ididn’tknowyoucouldplay!”
“Ican’t,notanote.ButFincan.”
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“Ihaven’tplayed,notanote,inyears,”Finprotested.
“Andwho’sfaultisthat?”Boyleshovedtheinstrumentathim.
“Playit,Fin,”Mearaencouraged.“Let’shaveaproperseisiún.”
“ThennocomplaintswhenImakeamuckof
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it.”HeglancedatBranna.Afteramomentsheshrugged,tappedherfoot,andbegansomethinglightandjumpy.Withalaugh,Connordancedfingersandstickoverthecolorfuldrum.
Fincaughtthetimeandthetune,joinedin.
Musicrangout,paused
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onlyformorewineoradiscussionofwhatshouldbenext.Ionascrambledupforanotepad.
“Ineedthenamesofsomeofthese!We’llwantsomeofthemattheweddingreception.They’resofulloffunandhappy.”Imaginingherselfinherperfectwedding
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dress,dancingtoallthatlivelyjoywithBoyle,surroundedbyfriendsandfamily,shebeamedathim.“Thewayourlifetogether’sgoingtobe.”
AtMeara’slong,exaggeratedawwww,BoylekissedIonasoundly.
Sointhewarm,bright
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kitchentherewaslaughterandsong,adeliberateanddefiantcelebrationoflife,offutures,ofthelight.
Outside,thedarkdeepened,theshadowsspread,andthefogslunkalongtheground.
Initsanger,anditsenvy,itdidwhatitcouldtosmotherthehouse.But
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protectionscarefullylaidrepelleditsoitcouldonlyskulkandplotandrageagainstthebrilliance—searching,searchingforanychinkinthecircle.
Mearaswitchedtowatertowetherthroat,broughtaglassovertoBranna.Shefeltsuddenlytired,andalittledrunk.It
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wasairsheneededmorethanwater,shethought.Aircoolanddampanddark.
“AfterSamhain,”Connorsaid,“we’llhavearealcéilie,invitetheneighborsandthoseallaroundasMaandDadid.NearChristmas,doyouthink,Branna?”
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“Withatreeinthewindow,andlightseverywhere.Withenoughfoodtosetthetablesgroaning.I’veafondnessforYule,sothatwouldsuitme.”
ItwasrareforConnortoslideintohermind,buthedidnow.He’sclose,circling
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close,pressinghard.Doyoufeelhim?
Brannanodded,butkeptsmiling.Themusicdrawshimlikeawasptothelight.Butwe’renotready,notaltogetherreadytotakehimon.Here’sachancetotry,
andweshouldn’tmisstakingit.
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Thentelltheothers,thisway.We’lltrythechance,andhopesurpriseisenough.
Connorsaw,asBrannadid,thatFinalreadyfeltthatpressure,thosedarkfingersscrabblingagainstthebright.HesawIonajolt,justalittle,asheslidhisthoughtsintoherhead.
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HerhandsqueezedBoyle’s.
HeglancedtowardMeara.
Theinstantherealizedshewasn’ttherehefelther,sawherreachouttoopenthefrontdoorofthecottage.
Thefeargrippedhisthroatlikeclaws,allbut
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drawingblood.Heshoutedforher,inhismind,withhisvoice,andrushedoutoftheroom.
Nearlyhalfasleep,floatingontheshadowssoftanddim,shesteppedoutside.Here’swhatsheneeded,here’swhatshehadtohave.Thedark,thethickandquietdark.
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Evenasshestartedtodrawinadeepbreath,Connorcaughtheraroundthewaist,allbutthrewherbackintothecottage.
Everythingshook—thefloor,theground,theair.Toherstunnedeyes,thedarkmistsoutsidethedoorbowedinwardasifsomethinglargeand
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terriblepusheditsweightagainstthem.Boyleslammedthedooronit,andthedullroar—likeanangrysurf—thatrolledwithit.
“Whathappened?Whatisit?”MearashovedagainstConnor,who’dthrownhisbodyoverhers.
“Cabhan.Stayback,”
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Brannasnapped,andflungthedooropenagain.
Astormragedoutside,theshadowstwisting,knotting.Underthemcameakindofhighshriekandarumblethatwasthousandsofwingsbeating.
“Bats,isit?”Brannasaidindisgust.“Tryas
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youmight,”sheshouted,fistsclenchedathersides.“Tryyourworst,thentryagain.Butthisismyhome,andneverwillyoucrossthethreshold.”
“Jesus,”Mearawhisperedasthemiststhinnedenoughforhertoseethebats.Likealiving,undulatingwall,redeyes
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gleaming,spikedwingsbeating.
“Stayhere.”Connorshoutedagainstthedin,thenleapeduptojoinhissister.Andwithhim,IonaandFinmovedtoformaline.
“Inourlightyou’lltwistandturn,”Connorbegan.
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“Inourflameyou’llscorchandburn,”Ionacontinued.
“Heremergethepowerofoneandthree,”Finadded.
“Aswewill,somoteitbe,”Brannafinished.
Meara,draggedbackbyBoyle,watchedasthebatslitliketorches.Hated
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herselfforcringingastheyscreamed,astheyburst,assmokingbodiestwisted.
Ashfelllikeblackrain,whippedintheterriblewind.
Thenallwentquiet.“You’renotwelcome
here,”Brannamurmured,thenfirmlyshutthedoor.
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“Areyouhurt?”Withthedangerpassed,ConnordroppedtohiskneesbesideMeara.
“No,no.God,didIletitin?DidIopenusuptothat?”
“Nothinggotin.”ButConnorgatheredherup,pressedhislipstoherhair.“Youopenednothing
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butthedoor.”“Ihadto.FeltI
couldn’tbreathe,andwanted—craved—thedarkandquiet.”Shaken,sheballedherhands,pressedthemtohertemple.“Heusedmeagain,triedtousemeagainstallofus.”
“Andfailed,”Ionasaid
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crisply.“Heseesyouasweak.
Lookatmenow.”Fincroucheddowntoher.“Heseesyouasweakasyou’reawoman,andnowitch.Buthe’swrong,asthere’snothingweakaboutorinyou.”
“Andstillheusedme.”“Hewantedyoutogo
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out,beyondtheprotectionsandcharms.”Connorbrushedherhairawayfromherface.“Hetriedtolureyouout,awayfromus.Nottouseyou,darling,buttoharmyou.Forhe’senragedbywhatwe’redoinghere.Themusic,thelight,thesimplejoyofitall.He’d
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havehurtyou,ifhecould,foronlythat.”
“You’resureofit?Themusic,thelights?”MearalookedfromConnortoBranna,andback.“Wellthen.We’llplaylouder,andifyou’ddomeafavorconsidering,usewhatyouwilltomakethelightsbrighter.”
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Connorkissedher,helpedhertoherfeet.“No,notabitofweakinoraboutyou.”
***
LATEINTOTHENIGHTWHENTHEY’DPLAYEDTHEMSELVESout,Connor
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heldhercloseagainsthiminhisbed.Hecouldn’tseemtolethergo.Theimageplayedinhismind—thedazedlookonherfaceasshe’dsteppedfromlighttodark.
“It’smindtrickshe’susing,andhe’senoughofthem,enoughinhimtoslitherthroughthe
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shields.”Ashespoke,hetracedafingeroverthebeadsshewore.“We’llworkonsomethingstronger.”
“Hedoesn’tgoafterBoylethesameway.IsFinright?It’sbecauseI’mnotaman?”
“Hepreysonwomenmore,doesn’the?He
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killedSorcha’smantobesure,buthekilledDaithitotormenther,tobreakherheartandspirit.Andhetormentedheragainandagainoverthatlastwinter.Thehistoryofitsayshetookgirlsfromthecastleandaround.”
“Yetit’stheboy,Eamon,he’striedtoget
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to.”“Takeouttheboy,and
he’dseethegirlsasmorevulnerabletohim.HewantsBrannaugh—boththeonewhowasandourown.IfeelitwheneverIlethimin.”
Sheshifted.“Lethimin?”
“Intomyhead—abit.
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OrwhenI’mabletoslipthrough,ashedoes,andgetintohis.It’scold,andit’sdark,andsofullofhungerandrageit’shardtounderstandanyofit.”
“Butlettinghimin,evenforamoment,isdangerous.Hecouldseeyourthoughtsaswell,couldn’the—usethem
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againstus?Againstyou.”“I’vewaysaroundthat.
Hedoesn’thavewhatIhave,oronlyawhisperofit.WhatEamonhasaswell,andhe’dlovetodraintheboyofhispower,takeitforhisown.”
Idly,hestrokedherhair,loosefromitsbraid.
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Despiteall,hefoundhimselfoddlycontenttojustbewithher,bodieswarmandclose,voiceshushedinthedark.
“HebotheredussolittlebeforeIonacame.WithFinhe’sbeenrelentlesssincethedaythemarkburnedintoFin’sshoulder.”
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“Heneverspeaksofit,ourFin,orrarely.”
“Tomehedoes,”Connortoldher,“andsometimestoBoyle.Butno,eventhenit’srare.ThingschangedallaroundwhenCabhan’smarkcameonhim.AndchangedallaroundagainwhenIonacame.He
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pushedatherthoseweeks,asshewasnotonlyawomanbutsonewandinexperienced,justlearningallshehadinherandhowtouseit.Hethoughtherweakaswell.”
“Sheprovedhimwrong.”
“Asyouhavemorethanoncealready.”He
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kissedherforehead,hertemple.“Buthewon’tstoptrying.Harmingyouharmsusall.Thathecanseewellenough,evenifhecan’tunderstandit,ashe’sneverlovedinthewholeofhisexistence.Howisit,doyouthink,toexistforsolong,somanylifetimes,andneverknow
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love,givingit,beinggivenit?”
“Peoplelivewithoutit—ordoforonelifetime—anddon’ttormentandkill.”
“I’mnotmeaningitasanexcuse.”Nowheproppeduponhiselbowtolookdownather.“Hecanbespellawomanand
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takeherbody,andherpowerifshehasit.Lustingwithoutlove—withoutanyloveforanythingoranyone—that’sthedark.Thosewhogothroughtheirtimewithonlythat?Ithinktheymustbesadcreatures,orevilones.It’stheheartthatgetsusthroughthe
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hardtimes,andgivesusjoy.”
“Brannasaysyourpowercomesthroughyourheart.”Lightly,Mearatracedacrossonit.
“That’sherthinking,andit’strueenough.Icouldn’tbeifIcouldn’tfeel.Hefeels.Lustandrageandgreed,with
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nothingtolightenit.Takingwhatwearewon’tbeenough.Itwillneverbeenough.Hewantsustoknowthedarkheknows,tosufferinit.”
Itmadeherwanttoshudder,soshestiffenedherselfagainstit.“Youfoundthatinhismind?”
“Someofit.SomeI
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canjustsee.Andforamomenttonight,Iknewwhathefelt—anditwasakindofterriblejoythathewouldtakeyoufromme,fromus.Fromyourself.”
“Youwereinsideme—inmyhead.Henevercalledmyname,notthistime,butyoudid.Iheardyoucallmyname,andI
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stoppedforjustaninstant.IfeltlikeIstoodontheedgeofsomething,pulledinbothdirections.ThenIwasunderyouonthefloor,soIdon’tknowwhichwayI’dhavegone.”
“Iknow,andnotonlybecausethere’snoweaknessinyou.Because
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ofthis.”Heloweredhishead,metherlipslightly,lightlywithhis.“Becauseit’smorethanlust.”
Nervesrose,ashiverofwingsinherbelly.“Connor—”
“It’smore,”hewhispered,andtookhermouth.
Soft,sosoftandtender,
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hislipscoaxingherstogive,seducingdegreebyachingdegree.Ifhispowercamefromtheheart,heuseditnow,saturatingherinpurefeeling.
Shewouldhavesaidno—no,itwasn’tthewayforher,couldn’tbetheway.Buthewasalready
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glidingheralongonthesweet,ontotheshimmer,intotheshine.
Hishands,lightasair,skimmedoverher,andevenwithsuchadelicatetouchkindledheat.
Quiet,soquietandstirring,hiswordsaskinghertobelievewhatsheneverhad.Totrustwhat
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shebothfearedanddenied.
Inlove,itssimplicity,itspotency.Itspermanence.
Notforher.No,notforher—shethoughtit,butdriftedonitssilkyclouds.Whathegave,whathebrought,whathepromised,wasirresistible.
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Foramoment,foranight,shegaveherselftoit.Gaveherselftohim.
Sohetook,butgently,andgavemoreinreturn.
He’dknown,intheinstantshe’dstoodbetweenCabhan’sdarkandhislight,he’dknownthefulltruthoflove.He’dunderstooditcame
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weightedwithfear,andwithrisks.He’dknownhemightbelostinthemazeofit,acceptedhewouldworkthroughitsshadows,drawonitslightandlivehisliferidingitsups,itsdowns,itsstretchesofsmooth,itssuddenbumps.
Withher.Alifetimeoffriendship
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hadn’tpreparedhimforthischange,thistidalshiftfromeasylovetowhathefeltforher.
Theone.Theonly.Andthishewouldcherish.
Hedidn’taskforthewordsback—theywouldcome.Butfornowheryieldingwasenough.
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Thosebreathysighs,thetremors,thethick,unsteadybeatofherheart.
Sheroseup,swimmingupandoverawaveofpleasuresoabsoluteitseemedtofillherbodywithpurewhitelight.
Thenitwashimfillingher,givinghermore,andmoreandmoreuntiltears
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blurredhervision.Asshepeaked,assheclungforgloriousmomentstothatbrightandbrilliantedge,sheheardhisvoice,onceagain,inhermind.Thisismore,hesaidto
her.Thisislove.
***
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“WHYDOESITMAKEYOUSOUNEASY?”
“What?”Mearastaredathim,thenlookedaround.“Wherearewe?Is—IsthatSorcha’scabin?Arewedreaming?”
“Morethanadream.Andloveismorethanthelieyoutrytobelieveitis.”
“It’sSorcha’scabin,
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butitstandsunderthevinesthatgrowaroundit.Andthisisn’tthetimetotalkaboutloveandlies.Didhebringushere?”
Shedrewhersword,gratefulthedreamthatwasn’tadreamprovidedit.
“Love’sthesourceofthelight.”
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“Themoon’sthesourceofthelight,andwecanbegladit’sfullwhereverandwheneverweare.”Sheturnedaslowcircle,searchingshadows.“Ishenear?Canyoufeelhim?”
“Ifyoucan’tyetbelieveyouloveme,youshouldbelieveIloveyou.
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I’venevertoldyoualie,ornotonethatmattered,inyourlife.”
“Connor.”Shesheathedhersword,butleftherhandonthehilt.“Haveyoulostyoursenses?”
“I’vegainedthem.”Hegrinnedather.“It’syoursenseslostbecauseyou
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haven’tthenervetopickthemupandholdthem.”
“I’mtheonewiththeswordsomindwhatyousayaboutmynerve.”
Heonlykissedherbeforesheshovedhimaway.“Notaweakthinginoraboutyou.Yourheart’sstrongerthanyouthink,andit’sgoingtobe
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mine.”“I’mnotgoingtostand
here,ofallplaces,andtalknonsensewithyou.I’mgoingback.”
“That’snottheway.”Connortookherarmassheturned.
“Iknowthewaywellenough.”
“That’snottheway,”
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herepeated.“Andit’snotyettime,asherehecomesnow.”
Herfingerstightenedonthehiltofhersword.“Cabhan.”
Connorstilledherswordhandbeforeshecoulddraw,andtookthewhitecobbleoutofhispocket.Itglowedlikea
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smallmooninhispalm.“No.It’sEamonwho
comes.”Shewatchedhimride
intothelittleclearing,notaboynow,butaman.Veryyoung,buttallandstraightandsolikeConnorherheartjerked.
Heworehishairlongerandbraidedback.He
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camequietlyastrideatough-lookingchestnutwho,tohereye,couldhavegallopedhalfwayacrossthecountywithoutlosingitswind.
“Goodeveningtoyou,cousin,”Connorcalledout.
“Andtoyouandyourlady.”Eamondismounted
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smoothly.Ratherthantetherthehorse,hesimplylaidthereinsoveritsback.Thewaythechestnutstood,likeacarvedstatueinthemoonlight,itwasclearitwouldn’tstrayorboltawayfromitsmaster.
“It’sbeensometimeforyou,”Connor
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observed.“Fiveyears.Mysisters
andtheirmenbideatAshford.Brannaughhastwochildren,asonandadaughter,andanothersoncomesanyday.Teaganiswithchild.Herfirst.”
Helookedtothecabin,thenovertohismother’sgravestone.“Andso
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we’vecomehome.”“Tofighthim.”“’Tismyfondestwish.
Butheisinyourtime,andthatisatruththatcannotbedenied.”
Tallandstraight,withthehawk’seyearoundhisneck,Eamonlookedoverathismother’sgraveagain.
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“Teagancameherebeforeme.Shesawtheonewhowillcomefromher.SawherwatchingwhileTeaganfacedCabhan.Wearethethree,thefirst,butwhatweare,whatwehave,wewillpasstoyou.ThisisallIcansee.”
“Wearesix,”Connor
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said.“Thethreeandthreemore.Mylady,mycousin’sman,andafriend,apowerfulfriend.”Andsincetheboywasnowaman,Connorthought,thetimehadcometospeakofit.“OurfriendFinbarBurke.HeisofCabhan’sblood.”
“Heismarked?”Like
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Meara,Eamonlaidahandonthehiltofhissword.
“Throughnoactofhisown,nowishofhisown.”
“ThebloodofCabhan—”
“Iwouldtrusthimwithmylife,andhave.Iwouldtrusthimwiththelifeofmylady,andIloveherbeyondreason—though
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shedoesn’tbelieveit.Wearesix,”Connorrepeated,“andheisoneofus.WewillfightCabhan.Wewillendhim.Iswearit.”
ConnordrewMeara’sswordand,takingit,steppedovertothegravestone.Hescoredhispalm,letthereddripontotheground.“Iswearby
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mybloodwewillendhim.”
Hereachedinhispocket,unsurprisedtofindthebluebell.Heusedtheswordtodigasmallhole,andplantedit.“Apromisegivenandkept.”
Hestirredtheairwithafinger,pulledthemoistureoutofit,andletbloodand
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waterpourontheground.Steppingback,he
watchedwiththeothersastheflowergrew,andthebloomsdoubled.
“Irodeawayfromher.”Eamonstaredatthegrave.“Therewasnochoice,anditwasherwillandherwish.NowIcomehomeaman.WhateverI
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cando,whateverpowerisgivenme,Iwilldo,Iwilluse.Apromisekept.”HeheldoutahandtoConnor.“IcannottrustthisspawnofCabhan’s,butItrustyouandyours.”
“Heismine.”Eamonlookedatthe
grave,attheflowers,atthecabin.“Thenyouare
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six.”Hetouchedhisamulet,thetwinofConnor’s,thenthestoneontheleatherbindingConnorhadgivenhim.“Allweareiswithyou.Ihopewe’llseeeachotheragain,whenthisisdone.”
“Whenit’sdone,”Connoragreed.
Eamonmountedhis
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horse,thensmiledatMeara.“Youshouldbelievemycousin,mylady,aswhathespeaks,hespeaksfromhisheart.Farewell.”
Heturnedhishorse,rodeoffasquietlyashe’dcome.
Mearastartedtospeak—andwokewithajoltin
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Connor’sbed.Hesatbesideher,a
halfsmileonhisfaceashestudiedhisbloodiedpalm.
“JesusChrist.Youneverknowwhereyou’llendupwhenyouliedownbesidethelikesofyou.Mindyourself!You’llgetbloodonthesheets.”
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“I’llfixit.”Herubbedpalmtopalm,stanchedtheblood,closedtheshallowwound.
“Whatwasthatabout?”shedemanded.
“Abitofavisitwithfamily.Somequestions,someanswers.”
“Whatanswers?”“I’mafterfiguringthat
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out.Buttheflower’splanted,asTeaganaskedofme,sothat’senoughfornow.Helookedfineandfit,didn’the,ourEamon?”
“You’dsaysoasyou’vearesemblance.Cabhanwouldknowthey’dcomeback.”
“Theydon’tendhim,
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butneitherdoesheendthem.Liketheflowers,that’senoughtoknowfornow.It’sforustoend,Iknowthataswell.”
“Andhowdoyouknow?”
“Ifeelit.”Hetouchedafingertohisheart.“ItrustwhatIfeel.Unlikeyouforinstance.”
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Afteranimpatientglancesheshovedoutofbed.“Ihavetogotowork.”
“You’vetimeforabitetoeat.Youneedn’tworryasthere’snotenoughtimeformetopokeatyouproperlyaboutmyfeelingsandyours.Butthere’llbetimeforthat
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soonenough.Iloveyoutodistraction,Meara,andwhileitcomesasasurprisetome,I’mhappybeingsurprised.”
Shegrabbedupherclothes.“You’reromanticizingthewholebusiness,andcobblingitalltogetherwithmagicksandrisksandbloodand
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sex.Iexpectyou’llcometoyoursensesbeforelong,andfornow,I’musingtheloo,andgettingmyselfreadyforwork.”
Shemarchedoff.Hegrinnedafterher,
amusedhehadsuchafineviewofherbacksideasshestalkedthroughthedoorofthebathheshared
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withIona.He’dcometohis
senses,hethought—thoughithadtakenmostofhislifetogetthere.Hecouldwaitforhertocometohers.
Meanwhile...Hestudiedhishealedpalm.Hehadsomethinkingtodo.
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W
16
OMENWEREACONSTANTPUZZLETOCONNOR’Smind,
buttheirmysteriesand
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secretwaysaccountedforsomeoftheirunendingappealtohim.
Heconsideredthewomanheloved.Courageousandstraightforwardastheycameonallmatters—exceptthoseoftheheart.Andtheresheturnedasfearfulasatrappedbird,
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andjustaslikelytoflyoffandawaygiventhesmallestopening.
Andyetthatheartheldstrongandloyalandtrue.
Apuzzle.He’dspookedher,no
questionofthat,withhisdeclarationoffeelings.Helovedher,andforhimtruelovecameonceand
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lastedforever.Still,ashe’drathersee
herflyfree—fornow—thanbatterherselfagainstthecage,herousedBoyle.
HavingBoylegointothestableswithMeara—earlierthaneitherneededtobe—accomplishedtwothings.She’dhavehisfriendwithher,andthe
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threewouldhavesometimetotalkalone.
Rainblewacrossthetreesandhills,shiveredagainstthewindows.Heletthedogout,walkedouthimself,circlingthecottage—asthey’ddonethenightbefore—checkingtobecertainnoremnantsofCabhan’s
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spellremained.Hissister’sflowers
bloomed,bold,defiantcolorsagainstthegloomwiththegrassbeyondthemathickgreenblanket.Andallhefeltintheairwastherain,wasthewind,wasthestrong,clearmagickshe’dhelpedlighthimselfinaring
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aroundwhatwastheirs.Whenhepausedat
Roibeard’slean-to,thehawkgreetedhimwithalightrubofhisheadtoConnor’scheek.Thatwaslove,simpleandeasy.
“You’llkeepaneyeout,won’tyou?”Connorskimmedthebackofhisknuckledownthehawk’s
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breast.“Sureyouwill.Takesometimeforyourselfnow,andhaveahuntwithMerlin,forwe’reallsafeforthemoment.”
Inanswer,thehawkspreadhiswings,lifted.Hecircledonce,thensoaredtothewoods,andintothem.
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Connorwalkedaroundagain,wentinthroughthekitchendoor—holdingitopenasKathelcameupbehindhim.
“Doneyourpatrol,haveyouthen?AndsohaveI.”Hegavethedogalongstroke,arubalongtheears.“Idon’tsupposeyou’dgoupandgiveour
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Brannaanudgetogetmeoutofmakingbreakfast?”
Kathelsimplygavehimalookasdryasanyhoundcouldmanage.
“Ididn’tthinkso,butIhadtotryit.”
Acceptinghisfate,Connorfedthedog,freshenedthewaterinthebowl.Helitthefires,in
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thekitchen,inthelivingroom,evenintheworkshop,thenhadtocalculatehecouldstallnomore,andgotdowntoit.
Hesetbaconsizzling,slicedupsomebread,beatupeggs.
HewasjustpouringtheeggsintothepanwhenIonaandBrannacamein
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together—Ionadressedforwork,Brannastillinhersleepclotheswiththatbefore-my-coffeescowlinhereyes.
“Everyone’supsoearly.”Knowingtherules,IonaletBrannagettothecoffeefirst.“AndBoyleandMearaalreadygone.”
“Shewantedtochange,
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andpromisedBoyleshe’dfixhimsomebreakfastfortakingheraround.”
“Mindthoseeggs,Connor,you’llscorchthem,”Brannasaid,asshedidwheneverhemadebreakfast.
“Iwon’t.”“Whyisityouhaveto
turnuptheflameto
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hellfiretocookeverybloodything?”
“It’sfasteriswhy.”Anddamnit,henearly
didscorchthembecauseshe’ddistractedhim.
Hedumpedthemonaplatewiththebacon,tossedonsometoast,thenploppeditallinthemiddleofthetable.“If
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you’dstirredyourselfsooner,youcould’vemadethemtoyourliking.Nowyou’lleatthemfrommine,andyou’rewelcome.”
“Itlooksgreat,”Ionasaidbrightly,andfingercombinghercapofbrighthair,sat.
“Ah,don’tpanderto
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himjustbecausehe’smadeameal,andforthefirsttimeinweeks.”Brannasatwithher,gaveKathel’searsascratch.
“It’snotpanderingifyou’rehungry.”Ionafilledherplate.“We’regoingtogetcancellationstoday.”Shenoddedtowardthesteady,soaking
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rain.“Notonlyrain,butacoldone,too.NormallyI’dbesorryaboutthat,buttodayIthinkwecouldallusetheextratime.”
Shesampledsomeeggs.Theywerevery...firm,shedecided.
“Ifit’sasslowasIthinkitmaybe,”shecontinued,“Icanprobably
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getoffearly.Icancomeworkwithyou,Branna,ifyouwant.”
“I’vesomestocktofinishupasIdidn’tworkonityesterday.I’llneedtogetitdoneandrunitintotheshop.ButI’llbeherebynoon,I’dthink.FinandI’vefinishedthechangestothepotionwe
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usedonthesolstice.It’sstrongerthanitwas,butthespellneedswork,asdoesthetiming,andthewholebloodyplan.”
“We’vegottime.”“Thedaysclickby.
Andhe’sgrowingbolderandbolder.Whathetriedlastnight—”
“Didn’twork,didit
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now?”Connorcountered.“Whatarehisdevilbatsnowbutashblownbythewind,washedbytherain?Anditgavemeanotionortwo,thewholebusinessofit.”
“You’veanotion,haveyou?”Brannaliftedhercoffee.
“Ihave,andastoryto
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tellaswell.IlookedforEamonindreams,andheforme.Sowefoundeachother.”
“Yousawhimagain.”HenoddedatIona.“I
did,andpulledMearaintoitwithme.Hewasaman,abouteighteen,ashesaidithadbeenfiveyearssincehe’dlastseenme.
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HisBrannaughhastwochildrenwithathirdtocome,andTeaganiscarryingherfirst.”
“Shewaspregnant—Teagan,”Ionaadded,“whenIsawher,inmyowndream.”
“Iremember,sothiswouldhavebeenformethesametimeintheir
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worldasitwasforyou.Itwas,formeasforyou,atSorcha’scabin.”
“Youknowbetterthantogothere,”Brannasnapped,“indreamsorno.”
“Ican’ttellyouintruthifitwasmydoingorhis,forIpromiseyouIdon’tknowevennow.ButI
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knewweweresafethere,forthattime,orIwouldhavepulleditback.Iwouldn’thaveriskedMearaagain.”
“Allright.Allrightthen.”
“They’dcomehome,”hecontinued,andlatheredtoastwithjam,“andthatwasbittersweet.They
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knowthey’llfightCabhan,andtheyknowtheywon’twin,won’tendhim,ashe’shereinourtime,ourplace.Itoldhimweweresix,andthatoneofoursixhadCabhan’sblood.”
“Anddidthatfloatwell?”Brannawondered.
“Heknowsme.”
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Connortappedahandonhisheart.“Andhetrustsme.Sointurn,hetrustsmine,andFinismine.HehadthependantIgavehimaswellastheamuletweshare.Ihadthelittlestonehegaveme,andwhenItookitout,itglowedinmypalm.Youhadtherightofthat,
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Branna.Ithaspower.”“Well,Iwouldn’tputit
inaslingandplayDavidtoCabhan’sGoliath,butit’sgoodtokeepitwithyou.”
“SoIdo.Andmore,Ihadthebluebell.”
“Teagan’sflower,”Ionaadded.
“Iplantedit,feditwith
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myblood,withwaterIdrewfromtheair.AndtheflowersbloomedthereonSorcha’sgrave.”
“Youkeptyourword.”Ionabrushedahandoverhisarm.“Andyougavethemsomethingthatmattered.”
“Itoldhimwe’dendit,asIbelievewewill.AndI
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thinkIknowsomethingthatwemissedonthesolstice.Music,”hesaid,“andthejoyofit.”
“Music,”IonarepeatedevenasBrannasatback,speculationinhereyes.
“Whatdrewhimherelastnight,soenraged,sobold?Ourlight,yes,andwe’llhavethat.Ourselves,
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ofcourse.Butwemademusic,andthat’salightofitsown.”
“Ajoyfulnoise,”Ionasaid.
“Itisthat.Itblindshim—withthatrageagainstthejoy.Whycouldn’titbindhimaswell?”
“Music.Wemademusicthatnightlast
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spring,doyouremember,Iona?JustyouandIandMearahere.Ibroughtoutmyfiddle,andweplayedandsang,andhelurkedoutside,allshadowsandfog.Drawntoit,”Brannasaid,“drawntothemusicevenashehatedit—hatedthatwehaditinustomakeit.”
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“Iremember.”“Oh,Icanworkwith
this.”Branna’seyesnarrowed,herlipscurved.“Aye,thiswillbesomethingtostirintothepot.It’sagoodthought,Connor.”
“It’sbrilliant,”Ionasaid.
“Itendtoagreewith
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that.”Grinning,Connorshoveledinthelastofhiseggs.
“I’msureMearasaidthesame.”
“Shemay,whenItellher.Ionlycamearoundtoitthismorning,”headded,“andshewasinafiredhurrytogetonherway.”
“Whywasthat?I’ve
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stillgotnearlyahalfanhourbeforeIhavetogettowork.”Andbecauseshedid,Ionaroseforasecondcupofcoffee.“Ifshe’dwaited,BoyleandIcould’ve...Oh.”Hereyesrounded.“Didyouhaveafight?”
“Afight,no.Shewentintoafastretreat,asI
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expectedshewould,whenItoldherIlovedher.BeingMeara,it’lltakeherabitoftimetosettleintoitall.”
“Youfigureditout.”Dancingback,Ionawrappedherarmsaroundhimfrombehindhischair.“That’swonderful.”
“Itwasn’tamatterof
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figuring...Maybeitwasthat,”hereconsidered.“Andshe’ssomesloweroncomingtotheconclusion.She’llbehappierwhenshedoes,andsowillI.Butfornow,there’sacertainenjoymentinwatchinghertrytosquirmaroundit.”
“Haveacare,Connor,”
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Brannasaidquietly.“It’snotastubbornnatureorahardheadthatholdsherback.It’sscars.”
“Shecan’tliveherlifedenyingherownheartbecausehershiteofafatherhadnone.”
“Haveacare,”Brannarepeated.“Whatevershesays,whatevershethinks
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shebelieves,shelovedhim.Sheloveshimstill,andthat’swhythehurt’snevergoneallthewayquiet.”
Irritationwalkeduphisspine.“I’mnotherfather,andsheshouldknowmebetter.”
“Ohno,darling,it’sthatshe’safraidsheis—
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she’slikeherfather.”“Bollockstothat.”“Ofcourse.”Branna
rose,begantoclear.“Butthat’stheweightshecarries.AsmuchasIloveher,andshelovesme,I’veneverbeenabletoliftitaway,notaltogether.That’sforyoutodo.”
“Andyouwill.”Iona
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pushedawayfromthetableagaintohelp.“Becauselove,ifyoujustdon’tletgo,beatsanything.”
“Iwon’tbelettinggo.”Ionapausedtokissthe
topofhishead.“Iknowit.Theeggsweregood.”
“Iwouldn’tgoasfarasthat,”Brannasaid,“but
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we’lldothewashingupsinceyoucooked...afterafashion.”
“That’sfinethen,asIneedtocallRoibeardinandgetontowork.”
Hegothisjacketfromthepeg,andacapwhiledishesclattered.“Idoloveher,”hesaidasthewordsfeltsofine,“Iloveher
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absolutely.”“Ah,Connor,yougreat
git,soyoualwayshave.”Hewentoutintothe
rainthinkinghissisterwasright.Sohealwayshad.
***
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AFOULMOOD,ANEDGYMANNER,ANDATENDENCYTOsnipeequaledanassignmenttothemanurecompostpile.
Afilthydayforafilthyjob,Mearathoughtasshechangedintoheroldestmuckboots,switchedherjacketforoneofthethickerbarncoats.But
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thenagainshewasfeelingfairlyfilthy.Andsinceshecouldn’tdenyshe’dpickedafightwithBoyle—aftersnappingatMick,snarlingatIona,andbroodingherwaythroughtherestofthemorning—shecouldn’tblameBoyleforbanishinghertoshitduty.
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Butshedidinanycase.He’dgivenherguided
toIona—hardysoulsfromthemidlandswhoweren’tputoffbythesoddingrain.Mickhadaringlesson,sothesoddingraindidn’tmatterforthat,notabit.NordiditmattertoPatty,whowascleaningtack,ortoBoyle,who’d
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closedhimselfoffinhisoffice.
Soitwaslefttohertotromparoundinthesoddingrain,andtothemajesticturningoftheshitpile.
Shewrappedascarfaroundherneck,pulledacaplowonherhead,andclompedherwayout—
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cartingashovelandalongmetalstick—wellbehindthestablestowhatwasnot-so-lovinglyreferredtoasShiteMountain.
Astableofhorsesproducedplentyforthemountain,andthisby-product—ifshewantedtouseafancyterm—hadto
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bedealtwith.Andwiser,eco-mindedsoulsdidmorethandeal.Theyused.
Itwasaprocesssheapprovedof,onnormaldays.Ondaysshewasn’tpissedoffattheworldingeneral.Ondayswhenitwasn’trainingfeckingbuckets.
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Manure,properlytreated,becamecompost.Andcompostenrichedsoil.SoFinandBoylehadbuiltanarea—farenoughtheodorsdidn’tcarryback—todojustthat.
WhenshereachedShiteMountain,shecursed,realizingsheleftheriPodandearbudsback
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atthestable.Shewouldn’tevenhavemusictodistracther.
Allshecoulddowasmutterasshepulledtheold,emptyfeedbagsoffthebigpile,andbegantousetheshoveltoturnthemanure.
Propercompostrequiredheattokillthe
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seeds,theparasites,toturnmanureintoarichadditive.Itwasajobshe’ddonecountlesstimes,soshecontinuedautomatically,addingfertilizertohelpbreakdownthemanure,turningtheouterlayersintotheheartandtheheat,makingasecondpile,adding
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ventilationbyshovingthestickdowndeep.
Atleastshedidn’thavetodragoutthehoseasthesoddingrainaddedallthewaterrequiredtothemuckymix.
Muckymix,shethought,puttingherbackintoit.That’sjustwhatConnorhadtossedthem
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into.Whydidhehaveto
bringloveintoit?Loveandpromisesandnotionsoffuturesandfamilyandforever?Hadn’titallbeengoingwell?Hadn’ttheybeendoingfineandwellwithsexandfunandfriendship?
Nowhe’dsaidallthose
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words—andsaidmanyoftheminIrish.Adeliberateploy,shethoughtassheshoveledandturnedandspread.Aploytotwistupherheart.Aploytomakehersighandsurrender.
He’dmadeherweak—hehad,hehad—andshedidn’tknowwhattodowithweakness.Weakness
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wasanenemy,andhe’dsetthatenemyonher.Andmore,he’dmadeherafraid.
Andshe’dstarteditall,hadn’tshe?Oh,sheonlyhadherselftoblameforthesituation,forthetroubleitwasboundtocauseallaround.
She’dkissedhimfirst,
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shecouldn’tdenyit.She’dtakenhimintoherbed,changingwhattheyweretoeachother.
Connorwasaromantic—she’dknownthataswell.Butthewaythemanflittedfromwomantowoman,shecouldn’tbeblamedentirelyforneverexpectingproclamations
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oflove.Theyhadenoughto
dealwith,didn’tthey?ThetimetoAllHallow’sEvegrewshortereveryday,andiftheyhadatrueandsolidplanforthat,she’dyettohearit.
Connor’soptimism,Branna’sdetermination,Fin’sinnerrage,Iona’s
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faith.Theyhadallthat,andBoyle’sloyaltyaswellasherown.
Butthosedidn’tamounttostrategyandtacticsagainstdarkmagicks.
Andinsteadofkeepinghisbrainfocusedonfindingthosestrategiesandtactics,Connor
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O’Dwyerwasbusytellingherthingslikeshewasthebeatofhisheart,theloveofallhislifetimes.
InIrish.InIrishwhilehedidimpossiblethingstoherbody.
Andhadn’thelookedherstraightintheeyeinthemorning,aftertheywokefromthatstrange
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dreamworld,andsaidstraightouthelovedher?Grinnedather,she
thoughtnow,steamingup.Asifturningherworldupsidedownwasafineandfunnyjoke.
Sheshould’veknockedhimoutofbedontohisarse.That’swhatsheshould’vedone.
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She’dsetthingsrightwithhim,byGodshewould.Becauseshewouldn’tbeweak,notforhimoranyone.Shewouldn’tbeweakandafraid.Wouldn’thaveherhearttwistedupsoshemadepromisesshe’donlybreak.
Shewouldn’tlet
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herselfbecomesoftandfoolishlikehermother.Helplesstocareforherself.Shamedandmourningthebetrayaldealtlikeanaxeblowbyaman.
More—worse—shewouldn’tletherselfbecomecarelessandselfishlikeherfather.A
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manwhowouldmakepromises,evenkeepthemaslongashislifestayedsmooth.Whowouldheartlesslybreakthem,andtheheartsofthosewholovedhim,whentheroadroughened.
No,she’dbenoman’swife,noman’sburden,noman’sheartbeat.
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EspeciallynotConnorO’Dwyer’s.
Because,Godhelpher,shelovedhimfartoomuch.
Shefeltasobrisingup,brutallychokeditback.
Atemporarything,shepromisedherselfasshespreadthebagsoverthecompostpilesagain.This
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kindofburningintheheartcouldn’tlast.
Noonecouldsurviveit.
She’dbeherselfagainsoon,andsowouldConnor.Andallthiswouldbelikeoneofthosestrangedreamsthatweren’tdreams.
Shetoldherselfshe
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wassteadiernow,thatthephysicallaborhaddonehergood.She’dgoback,smooththingsoverwithMick,especially,andtheothersaswell.
“You’vedoneyourpenance,”shesaidoutloud,steppedback,turned.
Andherfathersmiled
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ather.“Sohereyouare,my
princess.”“What?”Abirdsanginthe
mulberrytree,andtherosesbloomedlikeafairyland.Shelovedthegardenshere,thecolors,thescents,thesoundsofthebirds,thesongofthe
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fountainasthewaterpouredintothecirclingpoolfromajugheldbyagracefulwoman.
Andlovedalltheoddcornersandshadedbowerswhereshecouldhideawayfromhersiblingsifshewantedtobealone.
“Lostindreamsagain,
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anddidn’thearmecalling.”Helaughed,thebigrollofitmakingherlipscurveevenastearsstunghereyes.
“Youcan’tbehere.”“Aman’sentitledto
takeaprettydayofftobewithhisprincess.”Smilingstill,hetappedthesideofhisnosewith
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hisindexfinger.“Itwon’tbelongbeforealltheladsinthecountywillstartcomingaround,thenyouwon’thavetimeforyouroldda.”
“Ialwayswould.”“That’smydarling
girl.”Hetookherhand,drewherarmthroughthecrookofhis.“Mypretty
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gypsyprincess.”“Yourhand’ssocold.”“You’llwarmitup.”
Hebegantowalkwithher,aroundthestonepaths,throughtherosesandthecreamycupsofcallalilies,theachingblueoflobeliawiththesunshoweringdownliketheinsideofabrokenpearl.
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“Icamejusttoseeyou,”hebegan,usingthatconfidentialvoice,addingtheslywinkashedidwhenhehadsecretstotellher.“Everyone’sinthehouse.”
Sheglancedtowardit,thethreefinestoriesofbrick,paintedwhiteashermotherhadwished.More
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gardenssurroundedthelargeterrace,thenledtoasmoothgreenlawnwherehermotherlikedtohaveteapartiesingoodsummerweather.
Alltinysandwichesandfrostedcakes.
Andherroomthere,Mearathought,lookingup.Yes,herroomright
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there,withitsFrenchdoorsandlittlebalcony.AJulietbalcony,hecalledit.
Soshewashisprincess.
“Whyiseveryoneinthehouse?It’ssuchabrightday.Weshouldhaveapicnic!Mrs.Hannigancouldmakeup
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somebridies,andwecanhavecheeseandbread,andjamtarts.”
Shestartedtoturn,wantedtoruntothehouse,calleveryoneout,buthesteeredheraway.“It’snotthedayforapicnic.”
Foramomentshethoughtsheheardrain
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drummingontheground,andwhenshelookedup,itseemedashadowpassedoverthesun.
“Whatisthat?Whatisit,Da?”
“It’snothingatall.Hereyouare.”Hebrokearosefromthebush,handedittoher.Shesniffedatit,smiledasthe
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softwhitepetalsbrushedhercheek.
“Ifnotapicnic,can’twehavesometeaandcake,likeaparty,sinceyou’rehome?”
Heshookhisheadslowly,sadly.“I’mafraidtherecanbenoparty.”
“Why?”“Noneoftheothers
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wanttoseeyou,Meara.Theyallknowit’syourfault.”
“Myfault?Whatis?WhathaveIdone?”
“Youconsortandconspirewithwitches.”
Heturned,grippinghershouldershard.Nowtheshadowmovedoverhisface,hadherheartleaping
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infear.“Conspire?Consort?”“Youplotandplan,
havingtruckwithdevil’sspawn.You’velainwithone,likeawhore.”
“But...”Herheadfeltlight,dizzyandconfused.“No,no,youdon’tunderstand.”
“Morethanyou.They
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aredamned,Meara,andyouwiththem.”
“No.”Pleading,shelaidherhandsonhischest.Cold,coldlikehishands.“Youcan’tsaythat.Youcan’tmeanthat.”
“Icansayit.Idomeanit.WhydoyouthinkIleft?Itwasyou,Meara.I
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leftyou.Aselfish,eviltrollopwholustsforpowershecanneverhave.”
“I’mnot!”Shock,likeablowtothebelly,staggeredherbackastep.“Idon’t!”
“YoushamedmesoIcouldn’tlookuponyourface.”
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Thesobscamenow,thenagaspasthewhiteroseinherhandbegantobleed.
“That’syourownevil,”hesaidwhenshethrewittotheground.“Destroyingallwholoveyou.Allwholoveyouwillbleedandwither.Orescape,asIdid.Ileftyou,
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shamedandsickened.“Doyouhearyour
motherweep?”hedemanded.“Sheweepsandweepstobesaddledwithadaughterwhowouldchoosethedevil’schildrenoverherownblood.You’retoblame.”
Tearsrandownhercheeks—ofshame,of
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guiltandgrief.Whensheloweredherhead,shesawtherose,sinkinginapuddleofitsownblood.
Andrain,sherealized,fallingfastandhard.
Rain.Sheswayedalittle,
heardthebirdsinginginthemulberry,andthefountaincheerfully
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splashing.“Da...”Andthecryofahawk
torethroughtheair.Connor,shethought.
Connor.“No.I’mnotto
blame.”Drenchedbytherain,
freedbythecryofthehawk,sheswungoutwith
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theshovel.Thoughshetookhimbysurprise,heleapedbacksoitwhooshedbyhisface.
Afacenolongerherfather’s.
“Gotohell.”Sheswungagainbutthegroundseemedtoheaveunderherfeet.Asitdidshesworesomething
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piercedherheart.Onhersharpcryof
pain,Cabhanbaredhisteethinavicioussmile.Andhespilledintofog.
Shemanagedashakystepforward,thenanother.Thegroundcontinuedtoheave,theskyturnedandturnedoverherhead.
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Fromadistance,throughtherainandthefog,sheheardsomeonecallinghername.
Onestep,shetoldherself,thenanother.
Sheheardthehawk,sawthehorse,agrayblurspeedingthroughthemists,andthehoundstreakingbehindhim.
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ShesawBoylerunningtowardherasifdevildogssnappedathisheels.
Andastheworldspunandspun,shesawwithsomeamazementConnorleapoffAlastar’sbareback.
Heshoutedsomething,buttheroaringinherheadmuffledthesound.
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Shadows,shethought.Aworldofshadows.
Theyclosedinandswallowedher.
Sheswamthroughthem,chokedonthem,drownedinthem.Sheheardherfatherlaugh,butcruelly,socruelly.You’retoblame,
selfish,heartlessgirl.You
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havenothing.Youarenothing.Youfeelnothing.I’llgiveyoupower,
Cabhanpromised,hisvoiceacaress.It’swhatyoutrulywant,whatyoucovetandcrave.Bringmehisblood,andI’llgiveyoupower.Takehislife,andI’llgiveyouimmortality.
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Shestruggled,triedtoclawherwaythroughtheshadows,backtothelight,butcouldn’tmove.Shefeltbound,weigheddownwhiletheshadowsgrewthicker,thickersoshedrewtheminwitheverybreath.
Everybreathwascolder.Everybreathwas
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darker.Dowhatheasks,her
fatherurgedher.Thewitchisnothingtoyou;you’renothingtohim.Justbodiesgropinginthedark.Killthewitch.Saveyourself.I’llcomebacktoyou,princess.
ThenConnorreachedforherhand.Heglowed
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throughtheshadows,hiseyesgreenasemeralds.Comewithmenow.
Comebackwithme.Ineedyou,aghra.Comebacktome.Takemyhand.You’veonlytotakemyhand.
Butshecouldn’t—didn’thesee—shecouldn’t.Something
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snarledandsnappedbehindher,butConnoronlysmiledather.Sureyoucan.Myhand,
darling.Don’tlookbacknow.Justtakemyhand.Comebackwithmenow.
Ithurt,ithurt,toliftthatheavyarm,tostrainagainstbindingshecouldn’tsee.Butthere
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waslightinhim,andwarmth,andsheneededbothsodesperately.
Weeping,sheliftedherarm,reachedoutforhishand.Itwaslikebeingpulledbyherfingertipsoutofthickmud.Beingdraggedacentimeteratatime,andpainfully,whilesomeopposingforce
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pulledherback.I’vegotyou,Connor
said,hiseyesneverleavinghers.Iwon’tletyougo.
Thenshefeltasifsheexploded,acorkoutofabottle,intotheclear.
Herchestburned,burnedasifherhearthadturnedintoahotcoal.
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Whenshetriedtodrawinair,itsearedupintoherthroat.
“Easynow,easy.Slowbreaths.Slow.You’rebacknow.You’resafe.You’rehere.Shhnow,shh.”
Someonesobbed,wrenching,heartrending.Ittookherminutesto
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realizethesoundscamefromher.
“I’vegotyou.We’vegotyou.”
SheturnedherfaceintoConnor’sshoulder—God,God,thescentofhimwaslikecoolwaterafterafire.Heliftedher.
“I’mtakingherhomenow.”
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“Myhouseiscloser,”sheheardFinsay.
“She’llbestayingatthecottageuntilthisisfinished,butthanks.I’mtakingherhomenow.Butwillyoucome?Whenyoucan,willyoucome?”
“YouknowIwill.Weallwill.”
“I’mwithyounow,
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Meara.”SheheardBranna’svoice,feltBranna’shandstrokeherhair,hercheek.“I’mrightherewithyou.”
Shewantedtospeak,butnothingcameoutbutthoseterrible,tearingsobs.
“Gowiththem,”Boylesaid.“Gowiththem,Iona.
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Itshouldbethethreewithher.I’llseetoAlastar.Takethelorryandgowiththem.”
“Comesoon.”Mearaturnedherhead
enoughtoseeIonarunningforBoyle’slorry,climbingbehindthewheel.Runningthroughtherain,throughthemists
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whiletheworldrockedbackandforth,backandforthlikethedeckofashipinastorm.
Andthepaininherchest,inherthroat,ineverypartofherburnedlikethefiresofhell.
Shewonderedifshe’ddied.Ifshe’ddieddamnedasthefatherwhowasn’t
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herfatherhadsaid.“Shhnow,”Connor
saidagain.“You’realiveandyou’resafe,andyou’rewithus.Restnow,darling.Justrestnow.”
Onhiswords,sheslippedintowarmsleep.
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S
17
HEHEARDVOICES,MURMURING—SOFT,SOOTHING.SHEfelt
hands,stroking—light,
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gentle.Itseemedshefloatedonawarmpalletofairwiththescentsoflavenderandcandlewaxallaround.Bathedinlight,sheknewpeace.
Murmuringbecamewords,garbledandindistinct,asifspokenthroughwater.
“It’srestsheneeds
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now.Restandquiet.Letthehealingdoitswork.”Branna’svoice,soweary.
“She’ssomecolorback,doesn’tshe?”AndConnor’s,anxious,shaky.
“Shedoes,andherpulseissteadyagain.”
“She’sstrong,Connor.”NowIona,abithoarseasiffromsleepor
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tears.“Andsoarewe.”Thenshedriftedagain,
floating,floatingintocomfortingsilence.
Wakingwaslikeadream.
ShesawConnorsittingbesideher,eyesclosed,hisfaceilluminatedbytheglowofthecandlesallaroundtheroom.Itwasas
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ifhe’dbeenpaintedinpale,luminousgold.
Herfirstconsciousthoughtwasitwasridiculousforamantobethathandsome.
Shestartedtosayhisname,butbeforeshecouldspeakit,hiseyesopened,lookeddirectlyintohers.Andsheknew
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bythecolor,theintensityofthegreen,morethanthecandlelightilluminatedhim.
“Thereyouare.”Whenhesmiledtheintensityfaded,anditwasonlyConnorandcandlelight.“Liestillandquiet,justforamoment.”
Heheldhishandsover
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herface,closedhiseyesagain,asheskimmedthemdown,overherheart,backagain.“That’sgood.That’sfinenow.”
Heremovedsomethingfromherforehead,hercollarbone,leavingthefaintesttinglebehind.
“Whatisthat?”Wasthathervoice?Thatfrog
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croak?“Healingstones.”“WasIsick?”“Youwere,butyou’re
doingwellnow.”Heliftedheralittle,
removedstonesfromunderherback,underherhands,puttheminapouchandclosedittightly.
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“HowlongwasIasleep?”
“Oh,neartosixhoursnow—notlonginthegrandscheme.”
“Sixhours?ButIwas...Iwas...”
“Don’tlookforityet.”Histone,brisk,cheerful,hadherfrowning.“You’llbeabitfoggyyet,andfeel
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weakandshaky.Butit’llpass,Ipromiseyou.Andhere,you’lldrinkthisnow.Brannaleftitforyoutodrink—andallofit—assoonasyouwoke.”
“Whatisit?”“What’sgoodforyou.”Heproppedherupon
pillowsbeforetakingthestopperfromaslimbottle
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filledwithredliquid.“Allofthat?”“All.”Heputthebottle
inherhands,cuppedhisownaroundthemtoguideittoherlips.“Slownow,buteverydropofit.”
Shepreparedformedicine,andinsteadsippedthecoolandlovely.“It’slikeliquid
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apples,blossomsandall.”“That’ssomeofit.All
now,darling.Youneedeverydrop.”
Yes,morecolorinhercheeksnow,Connorthought.Andhereyeswereheavy,butclear.Notblindandstaringasthey’dbeenwhenshe’dsuccumbedtoCabhan’s
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spell,whenshe’dlainlifelessonthewetgrass.
Theimageflashedbackintohismind,madehishandsshake.Sohepusheditaside,lookedathernow.
“You’llhavesomefoodnext.”Ittookeveryounceofwilltokeephisvoicesteadyandcarvea
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littlecheerintoit.“Branna’smadeupsomebroth,andwe’llseehowyoudowiththatandsometeafirst.”
“IthinkI’mstarving,butIcan’treallytell.IfeelI’monlyhalfhere.Butbetter.Thedrinkwasgood.”
Shehandedhimback
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thebottle;hesetitasideascarefullyasamanplacingabomb.
“Foodnext.”Hemanagedasmilebeforehelaidhislipsonherforehead.Thensimplycouldn’tmove.
Shefelthimtremble,reachedforhishand.Hegrippedherssohardshe
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hadtobitebackagasp.“Itwasbad?”
“It’sfinenow.All’swellnow.OhGod.”
Hepulledhertohim,sotight.He’dhavepulledherinsidehimifhecould.“It’sallrightnow,it’sallfinenow,”hesaidoverandover,tocomforthimselfasmuchasher.
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“Idon’tknowhowhegotpasttheprotection.Itwasn’tstrongenough.Ididn’tmakeitstrongenough.Hetookthenecklacefromyou,andIneverbelievedhecould.Hetookitaway,andstoleyourbreath.Ishould’vedonemore.Iwilldomore.”
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“Cabhan.”Shecouldn’tquiteremember.“Iwas...turningthemanure.Thecompost.Andthen...Iwasn’t.Ican’tseeitclear.”
“Don’tfret.”Hebrushedatherhair,athercheeks.“It’llcomebackwhenyou’restronger.I’llmakeyouanother
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necklace,astrongerone.I’llhavetheothershelpme,aswhatIdidwiththeotherwasn’tenough.”
“Thenecklace.”Shereachedupwhereitshouldhavehungaroundherneck.Remembered.“It’sinmyjacket.Itookitoff,didn’tI?”
Asshestruggledto
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remember,Connorslowlyeasedaway.
“Youtookitoff?”“Iwasthatmad.Itook
itoff,stuffeditinmyjacketpocket.IsnappedatpoorMick—andeveryoneelseaswell,soBoyle...Yes,Boylesentmeouttothecompostpile.Iputononeofthebarncoats,left
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myownjacketbehind.”“Youweren’twearing
itatall?AndthepocketcharmsImadeyou?”
“Inmypocket—inthejacketIleftinthestables.Ididn’tgiveitathoughtbecause...Connor.”
Hestoodabruptly,andinhisfaceshesawonlycoldrage.
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“Youtookitoff,leftitbehindbecauseIgaveittoyou.”
“No.Yes.”Itwasallsuchamuddle.“Iwasn’tthinkingproperly,don’tyousee?Iwassoangry.”
“BecauseIloveyou,youwereangryenoughtogoout,withoutprotection.”
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“Iwasn’tthinkingofitthatway.Iwasn’tthinkingatall.Iwasstupid.Iwasbeyondstupid.Connor—”
“Wellthen,it’sdone,andyou’resafeenoughnow.I’llsendBrannaupwiththebroth.”
“Connor,don’tgo.Please,letme—”
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“Youneedthequietnowtofinishthehealing.I’mnotabletobequietnow,soIcan’tbewithyou.”
Hewentout,closedthedoorbetweenthem.
Shetriedtogetup,butherlegssimplywouldn’tholdher.Nowshe,awomanwho’dprided
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herselfonherstrength,herhealth,hadtocrawlbackintobedlikeaninvalid.
Shelayback,breathunsteady,skinclammy,andherheartandmindspinningwiththeconsequencesofonecarelessactdoneintemper.
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WhenBrannacameinwithatrayshecouldhaveweptwithfrustration.
“Where’shegone?”“Connor?Heneeded
someair.He’sbeensittingwithyouforhours.”
Brannaarrangedthetray—aninvalid’straywithfeetsoitwouldsitoverthelapofthesick
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andtheweak.Mearastaredatitwithabsoluteloathing.
“You’llfeelstrongeraftertheteaandbroth.It’snaturaltobeshakyandweakjustnow.”
“IfeelI’vebeensickhalfmylife.”Thenshelookedup,clearedherownfrustrationsenough
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toseethefatigueandworryinBranna’seyes.“I’mpooratit,aren’tI?Neverbeensickmorethanafewhours.You’veseentothat.Youalwayshave.I’msosorry,Branna.I’msosorryforthis.”
“Don’tbefoolish.”Eyesweary,hairbundled
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upmessily,Brannasatonthesideofthebed.“Herenow,havesomeofthebroth.It’sthenextstep.”
“Inwhat?”“Gettingbackto
yourself.”Sinceshewantedthat
—shecouldn’tmendthingswithConnorwhenshecouldbarelylifta
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spoon—shebegantoeat.Thefirsttastewaslikeambrosia.
“IthoughtIwasstarved,butIcouldn’treallyfeelmuchofanything.It’swonderfultofeelhungry,andthisisbrilliant.Ican’tpieceitalltogether.Irememberit,mostofit,clearenough
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untilIstartedbacktothestables,thenitgoesdim.”
“Onceyoufeelyourselfagain,you’llremember.It’sakindofprotection.”
“OhGod.”Mearasqueezedhereyesshut.
“Istherepain?Darling—”
“No,no—notthatkind.
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Branna,Ididsomethingsostupid.Iwasupset,inablacktempersoIjustcouldn’tthinksensible.Connor—well,hesaidhelovedme.Thekindoflovethatleadstomarriageandbabiesandcottagesonthehill,anditjustthrewmeintoupheavalaltogether.I’mnotfitfor
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thatsortofthing—everyoneknowsit.”
“Nooneknowsanythingofthesort,butIwon’targueyouthinkit.Youshouldstaycalm,Meara.”BrannastrokedahandalongMeara’sleg.“Resteasynowtohelpyourselfbewellagain.”
“Ican’tbecalmand
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resteasywhenConnor’sgoneoffasmadatmeashe’severbeen.Andworse,evenworse.”
“Whywouldhebemadatyou?”
“Itookitoff,Branna.”Herfingersrubbedatherthroat,wherethenecklaceshouldbe.“Iwasn’tthinking,Iswear.Iwas
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justcaughtupinthetemper.SoItookoffthenecklacehegavemeandpusheditintomypocket.”
Thehandstrokingtosoothestilled.“Thebluechalcedonywiththejadeandjasperbeads?”Brannasaidcarefully.
“Yes,yes.Ijustshoveditintomypocket,along
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withthecharms.AndIwaspickingfightswitheveryonewithinarm’sreachuntilBoylehadenoughofme.Hesentmeouttothecompost,andasit’sfilthywork,anditwasrainingbuckets,Iswitchedmyjacketforabarncoat.Ididn’tthink—didn’tevenrememberI’d
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takenthenecklaceoff,yousee.Iwouldn’thavegoneoutwithoutit.Iswear,eveninamad,Iwouldn’thavedonethatpurposely.”
“Youtookoffwhathegaveyououtoflove,whathegaveyoutoprotectyou,whatheloves,fromharm.Youcutthroughhis
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heart,Meara.”“Oh,Branna,please.”
ShesobbedinairasBrannarose,walkedtothewindowtostareoutatthedark.“Pleasedon’tturnmeaway.”
Brannaspunback,herowntemperbrightinhereyes.“That’sacoldandcruelthingtosay.”
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AllthecolordroppedoutofMeara’scheeksagain.“No.No.I—”
“Coldandcruelandselfish.You’vebeenmyfriend,mysisterinallbutbloodsincemyfirstmemory.ButyoucouldthinkI’dturnyouaway?”
“No.Idon’tknow.I’msoconfused,sotwistedup
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inside.”“Thetearsaregoodfor
you.”Voicebrisknow,Brannanodded.“Youdon’tshedthemoften,andthey’regoodforyounow.Akindofpurging.Therearefivepeopleinthishouse—no,that’snottrueasIonaandBoylehavegoneoffnowthatyou’re
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awaketopackupyourthingsforyou.”
“Packupmy—”“Quiet.I’venot
finished.Thosefivepeopleloveyou,andnotoneofusdeservesyou’rethinkingwewouldstopbecauseyou’vedonesomethinghurtful.”
“I’msorry.I’msorry.”
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“Iknowyouare.ButI’mhere,Meara,standingbetweenyouandConnor,lovingyouboth.Heblamedhimself,yousee,fornotgivingyoustrongerprotection.”
“Iknow.”Hervoicehitchedandshookoneveryword.“Hesaid.Iremembered.Itoldhim.
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Heleftme.”“Helefttheroom,
Meara,youidjit.He’sConnorO’Dwyer,asgoodandloyalandtrueamanasthereeverwas.He’snotyourbleedingfatheroramananythinglikehim.”
“Idon’tmean...”Itfloodedback,theforce
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andclarityofitleavinghergaspingforair.
“Calm.Becalm.”Brannarushedtoher,grippedherhands,pushedherwillagainstthepanic.“Youwillbecalm,andbreatheeasy.Inmyeyes,lookinmyeyes.There’scalm,andthere’sair.”
“Iremember.”
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“Calmfirst.Noharmcomeshere,andnodark.Wescriedthecandles,laidtheherbsandstones.Hereissanctuary.Hereiscalm.”
“Iremember,”shesaidagain,andcalmly.“Hewasthere.”
“You’llletyourselfsettleabit,andasmuchas
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Iwanttoknowitall,we’llwaituntilwe’realltogether.You’llonlyhavetotellitonce.”
AndConnor,Brannathought,deservedtohearitall.
“Whatdidhedotome?Canyoutellmethat?Howbadwasit?”
“Drinkthebrothfirst.”
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Impatient,andstrongeralready,Mearajustliftedthebowl,drankitdownstraight.AndmadeBrannalaughalittle.
“Nowyou’vedoneit.”“Tellme—Oh!”Itwaslikeajoltof
electricity,oragood,quickorgasm,oradirecthitbyalightningbolt.
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Energyshotstraightintoher,rockingherback.
“Whatisthat?”“Somethingyou’re
meanttodrinkslowly,butleaveittoyou.”
“IfeelIcouldsprintallthewaytoDublin.Thankyou.”
“You’rewelcome.We’lljustleavethisfor
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later.”Cautiousnow,Brannamovedtheteaoutofreach.
“Icouldeatacowandstillhaveroomforpudding.”ButshereachedforBranna’shand.“I’msorry.Truly.”
“Iknowit.Truly.”“Tellme,willyou,
whathedidtome?Wasit
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poison,likeConnor?”“Itwasn’t,no.You
wereopenanddefenseless,andhewouldknowit.Heusedhisshadows,andIthinkitblockeditallforatime.Buttheyclearedenough,forhecan’tkeepthatbox,asConnorcalledit,shuttightforlong.Thelotof
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uswerecoming.He’dhaveknownthataswell,soheactedquicklyandwithcruelty.Thespellhecast,youcouldcallitakindofSleepingBeauty,butit’snotsoprettyasafairytale.It’sakindofdeath.”
“I...Hekilledme.”“No,it’snotsoclean.
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Hetookyourbreath;hestoppedyourheart.It’sakindofparalysisthatanyonewhodidn’tknowwouldtakefordeath.Withoutintervention,itcouldlastfordaysorweeks.Evenyears.Thenyouwouldwake.”
“Like,what,azombie?”
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“Youwouldwake,Meara,andyouwouldbemad.Youwouldclawordigyourwayoutifyoucould,ordieraving.Or...hewouldcomeforyou,atatimeofhisownchoosing,andmakeyouhiscreature.”
“ThenIwouldbedead,”Mearadeclared.
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“AllthatIamwouldbegone.Hecouldn’thavedonethistomeifI’dworntheprotectionConnorgaveme.”
“No.Hecouldhurtyou,hecouldtrytodrawyoutohim,buthecouldn’tcastsuchaspellonyouwhenyou’reprotected.”Shepauseda
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moment.“ItwasConnorwhobreathedlifebackintoyou.Hereachedyoufirst.Hebroughtyouback—yourbreath,yourheart.Thentherestofuscametogetherashepulledyououtofthesleep.Eveninthosefewminutes,Meara,you’dbeendrawndeep.Youcouldonlysoband
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sob,andshake.Hehadtoslideyouintosleepagain,healingsleep,soyoucouldbecalmwhileweworked.”
“Thecandles,thestones,theherbs.Thewords.Iheardyou—youandConnorandIona.”
“Finaswellforabit.”Fivepeoplewholoved
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her,Mearathought,allsickandafraidbecauseshe’dbeenfoolish.
“Hecould’vebrokenus,becauseIwaschildish.”
“That’strueenough.”“I’mshamedandsorry,
Branna,andsoI’llsaytoall.ButifIcouldspeakwithConnorfirst.”
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“Ofcourseyoushould.”
“Couldyouhelpmecleanupabit?”Shemanagedawobblysmile.“I’vebeenabitdead,andprobablylookit.”
***
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BECAUSEITCONTINUEDTORAIN,CONNORSATINBRANNA’Sworkshop,drinkinghissecondbeerandbroodingatthefire.
WhenFinwalkedin,hescowled.“You’dbewisetofeckoff.I’mnotfitcompany.”
“That’sapity.”Findroppedintoachairwith
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abeerofhisown.“Yousaidshe’dwakedandwasbetter—butlittleelse.Branna’syettocomebackdown,andasIonaandBoylejustcameinwithcasesofherthings,I’dliketoknowjustwhatthebloodyhellbettermightbe.”
“Awake,aware.She
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drankthepotion,andhercolorwasgoodwhenIlefther.”
“Allrightthen.”Fintookasipofbeer,waitingfortherest.Whenitdidn’tcome,hepreparedtoprythelidoff,thenBoylecamein.
Andbetteryet.“Ihauledclothesand
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bootsandChristknows,enoughforamonthormorethatIonaswearsisallessential.ThenIwasdismissed,whichisjustfinewithme.”
Hedroppeddown,asFinhad,withabeer.
“Brannasaidshe’dralliedwell,andwashavingashower.Ahellof
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athing,ascarelikethat.Ahellofathing.”Hedrankdeepfromthebeer.“Isentheroutthere.Shewassnappishandsnarly,andI’dhadenoughofit,andsentherofftoShiteMountain.Ishould’vekeptherinside,workingontack.Ishouldn’thave—”
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“It’snotyourfault.”Connorshovedup,pacedaround.“Don’ttakeanykindofblameonthis,forit’snotyours.Shetookitoff.ItoldherIlovedher.AndtothinkIwasentertainedatthewayshestormedaboutafter,claimingshehadtogettothestablesstraightaway.”
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“So,that’swhyIlostafullhour’ssleepthismorning.And,”Boyleadded,“that’swhatcrawledupherarselikeascorpion.”
“Shetookwhatoff?”Finasked,circlingback.
“Thenecklace,thebluechalcedonywithjasperandjadeIgaveherfor
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protection.Shetookitoff,wentoutwithoutit,becauseItoldherIlovedher.”
“Ah,God.”Finrolledhiseyesheavenward.“Women.Womendrivementomadness,andisthereanydoubtastowhy?Why,thequestionshouldbe,dowewant
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themaboutwhentheydevilusateveryturn?”
“Speakforyourownwomen,”Boylesuggested.“I’mmorethanfinewithmyown.”
“Giveittime,”Finsaiddarkly.
“Ah,feckoff.Shewasinatemper,”Boyleadded,watchingConnor.
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“Itwasfoolishandreckless,but,well,assomeonewho’satemperofhisown,it’stheeasiestthingintheworldtodothefoolishandrecklesswhencaughtupinone.”
“Wecouldhavelosther.”
“Thatwillneverhappen,”Finvowed.
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“Shewasgone,formoments—thatmightaswellhavebeenyearsforme.”ItshookConnor,bellydeep,tothinkit.Toknowit.“Yousawityourself,Boyle,asyoureachedhersecondsafterIdid.”
“Andinthosesecondsitfeltasiftheblood
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drainedoutofmybody.IwantedtostartCPR,andyoutossedmebackwithaflickofyourhand.”
“I’msorryforthat.”“Noneed.Youknew
whatneededtobedone,andIwasintheway.Youbreathedlightintoher.I’veneverseenthelike.”
Seeingitagain,Boyle
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tookabreathofhisown.“You’restraddlingour
girlontheground,callingoutforgodsandgoddesses,andyoureyes,Isweartoyou,wentneartoblack.Andthewind’swhirling,theotherscomerunning,andyouliftedyourarmsup,likeamangrabbingontoalifeline.
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Andyoupulledlightoutoftherain,pulleditoutoftherain,intoyourselfsoyouburnedlikeatorch.Thenyoubreatheditintoher.Threetimesyoudidthat,burninghottereverytimesoInearexpectedyoutogotoflame.”
“Threetimesisneeded,”Finsaid.“With
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fireandlight.”“AndIsawherdrawin
air.Herhandmoved,justabitinmine.”Boyletookanotherlongdrink.“Christ.”
“Ioweyouall,”Mearasaidfromthedoorway.Shestoodwithherhandsclasped,herhairloose,andhereyesfilledwith
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emotion.“IhavetoaskifIcouldhaveamomentalonetospeaktoConnor.Justafewmoments,ifyouwouldn’tmind.”
“Ofcoursenot.”Boylegotupquickly,movedtoher,huggedherhard.“Youlookfine.”Drawingback,hegaveherbackaheartypat,thenwalked
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straightout.Fingotupmore
slowly,studyingthetearsswirlinginhereyes.Hesaidnothingatall,butkissedherlightlyonthecheekbeforegoingout.
Connorstoodwherehewas.“DidBrannagiveyouleavetobeupandabout?”
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“Shedid.Connor—”“It’sbestifyoutell
whathappenedtoall,atonetime.”
“Iwill.Connor,please,forgiveme.Youhavetoforgiveme.Icouldn’tbearitifyoudidn’t,couldn’tbearknowingIruineditall.Iwaswrong,ineverywaywrong,and
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I’lldoanything,anythingyouneedorwantorasktomendthiswithyou.”
Hershame,hersorrowpouredout,allbutpooledathisfeet.Andstillhecouldn’tbringhimselftomovetowardher.
“Thenanswermeonequestionwithtruth.”
“Iwon’tlietoyou,
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whateverthetruthcosts.Ineverhaveliedtoyou.”
“DidyoutakeoffwhatIgaveyoubecauseyouthoughtImighthaveusedittoholdyou,tokeepyouwithme,tomakeyoufeelforme?”
Shockrippedthroughthesorrow,pushedheronestumblingstepback.
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“Ohno,Godno.Youwouldneverdosuchathing.Iwouldneverthinkanysuchthing,neverofyou.Never,Connor,onmylife.”
“Allright.”That,atleastthat,stanchedtheworstofableedingheart.“Becalmagain.”
“Itwastemper,”she
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said,“temperand...fear.Honest,behonest,”sheorderedherself.“Fearmorethananything,andthatsparkedthetemper,andtogethertheroarofitmademeblindanddeaftoanysortofsense.Isweartoyou,IswearInevermeanttogooutwithoutit.Iforgot.Iwassoturned
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aroundandwoundup,thatwhenBoylebootedmeout,IchangedjacketswithoutathoughtI’dleftalltheprotectionintheother.”
Shehadtostop,pressherfingerstohereyes.“Readme.Goinhere—”Shemovedherfingerstohertemple.“Readmy
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thoughts,foryou’dfindthetruth.”
“Ibelieveyou.IknowwhenIhearthetruth.”
“Butwillyouforgiveme?”
Wasitashardforhertoask,hewondered,asforhimtoaccept?Hethoughtperhapsitwas.Andstilltheyneededto
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clearitallbeforetheanswers.
“Igaveyousomethingthatmatteredtomebecauseyoumattered.”
“AndIwascarelesswithit,andwithyou.Carelessenoughtocostusall.”Shetookasteptowardhim.“Forgiveme.”
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“Igiveyoulove,Meara,ofthekindI’venevergiventoanother.Butyoudon’twantit.”
“Idon’tknowwhattodowithit,andthat’sadifferentthing.AndI’mafraid.”Shepressedbothhandstoherheart.“I’mafraidbecauseIcan’tstopwhat’shappeninginme.
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Ifyoudon’tforgiveme,ifyoucan’tforgiveme,Ithinksomethinginsidemewoulddieofgrief.”
“Iforgiveyou,ofcourse.”
“You’remorethanIdeserve.”
“Ah,Meara.”Hesighedit.“Loveisn’taprizegivenonmerit,or
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somethingtobetakenbackwhenthere’samistake.It’sagift,asmuchforthegiverastheonewho’sgivenit.Thedayyou’lltakeit,holdit,youwon’tbeafraid.”
Heshookhisheadbeforeshecouldspeak.“It’senough.You’remorewearythanyouknow,and
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you’vestillataletotell.Youshouldsit,andwe’llseewhatBranna’scookedupas,Jesus,it’sbeenalongtimesincebreakfast.”
Whenhecrossedtoher,shereachedforhishand.“Thankyou.Forthelight,forthebreath,formylife.Andthankyou,
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Connor,forthegift.”“Wellnow,that’sa
start,”hetoldher,andledherbacktothekitchen.
***
SHETOLDTHESTORYHALTINGLYWHILESHEDUGINTOTHEspaghettiand
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meatballs—aparticularfavorite.Itseemedshecouldn’tgetenoughtoeatordrink—thoughshefoundevenafewsipsofwinemadeherunsteady.
“You’lldobetterwithwatertonight,”Brannatoldher.
“Ithinkpartofmeknewitwasn’treal,butit
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lookedandfeltandsmelledandsoundedsoreal.Thegardens,thefountain,thepaths,justasIrememberthem.Thehouse,thesuitmyfatherwore,thewayhetappedhisfingertothesideofhisnose.”
“Becausehebuiltthespellonyourthoughtsand
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images.”Finpouredhermorewater.
“Thewayhecalledmeprincess.”Mearanodded.“Andhowitcouldmakemefeellikeonewhenhepaidspecialattentiontome.Hewas...”
Itpainedhertospeakofit.“Hewasthefuninourhome,yousee.His
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biglaugh,andhowhe’dslipusextrapocketmoneyorabitofchocolatelikeitwasasecretshared.Iworshipedhim,andthatallcameback,thosefeelings,aswewalkedaroundthegardenwithabirdsinginginthemulberrytree.”
Shehadtostopa
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moment,gatherherself.“Iworshipedhim,”sherepeated,“andheleftus—leftme—withneverabackwardglance.Sneakingofflikeathief,andindeeditturnedouthewasjustthat,ashetookeverythingofvaluehecouldwithhim.Butthere,inthegardens,itwasall
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asithadbeenbefore.Thesunshining,andtheflowers,andfeelingsohappy.
“Thenheturnedonme,soquickly.He’dleftbecauseofme,hesaid,becauseIwasfriendswithyou.I’dshamedhimbyconsorting,conspiring—heusedthosewords—
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withwitches.Iwasdamnedforit.”
“Atrick,usingsomeofyourthoughtsagain,”Brannaexplained,“thentwistingthem.”
“Mythoughts?ButIneverthoughtheleftbecausewewerefriends.”
“Butyou’vethought,morethanonce,his
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leavingwasyourfault.Idon’thavetoslipintoyourmindtoknowit,”Connoradded.
“Iknowit’snottrue.I’mmeaningIknowhedidn’tleavebecauseofme.”
“Andstillitcanmakeyoudoubtyourself.”Ionasentheralookof
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understanding.“Makeyouwonder,whenyou’refeelinglow,whatitisaboutyourselftheycan’tlove.Iknowhowitis,andhowharditistoacceptsomeonewhoshouldloveyouabsolutely,doesn’t.Ornotenough.Butitwasn’tme,anditwasn’tyou.Itwasthem,thelack
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inthem.”“Iknowit,butyou’re
right.Sometimes...Therosehegavemebegantobleed,andhesaidIwasawhoreforlyingwithawitch.ButIcertainlyneverhadbeforemyfatherleftus.AndGod,cometoit,themanwastoomuchofacowardever
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tosaysuchthingstoanyone’sface.”
Shepaused,stareddownatherplate.“Hewassoweak,myfather.It’shardadmittingyoulovedsomething—someonesoweak.”
“Wecan’tchooseourparents,”Boylesaid,“anymorethantheycanchoose
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us.Wealljusthavetomuddlethroughbestwecan.”
“Andloving...”Connorpauseduntilsheliftedhereyestohis.“It’sneversomethingtobeashamedof.”
“WhatIlovedwasanillusion,asmuchaswhatIsawtoday.ButIbelieved
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inboth,forawhile.Andwiththis,today,Ifeltthingschangewhenhesaidthosethingstome,thosehardthingshe,forallhisflaws,wouldneverhavesaid.Iheardtherainagain,andIheardRoibeard,andIknewhimforalie.Ihadtheshovel.Ihadn’twhenIwalked
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withhim,butnowIdidagain.Iswungitathim,swungitathishead,buthewasquick.Iswungitagain,buttheworldstartedtoturnandrock.Andyou,Connor,ridinguplikeademononAlastar,andBoylerunningfromthestables,andKatheland...He
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smiledatme—Cabhannowandnothinglikemyfather.”
Shesawitclearlynow,thatcruellyhandsomefacesmiling.“Anditfeltlikesomethingstabbedmyheart—sosharpandcold—ashesmiledandswirledawayinthefog.”
“Blacklightning,”
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Boylestated.“That’swhatitlookedliketome,justaflashofitfromthestonehewears.”
“Ididn’tseeit.”Mearaliftedherwaterglass,draineditagain.“Itriedtowalk,butitwaslikeswimmingthroughthemud.Ifeltsickanddizzy,andIcouldn’tfeeltherain
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nowastheshadowsclosedsothick.
“Icouldn’tgetoutofthem,couldn’tseemtomove,couldn’tcallout.Andtherewerevoicesintheshadows.Myfather’s,Cabhan’s.Threats,promises.I...Hesaid,hewouldgivemepower.IfItookConnor’slife,he’d
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givemeimmortality.”Shegropedfor
Connor’shand,comfortedwhenhetookit.“Icouldn’tgetout,anditallgotdarkeranddarker.Icouldn’tspeakormove,asifboundup,anditwassobittercold.Thenyouwerethere,Connor,talkingtome,andthere
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waslight.Youwerethelight.Youtoldmetotakeyourhand.Ididn’tknowhow,butyousaidtotakeyourhand.”
“Andyoudid.”“Ididn’tthinkIcould,
ithurtso.ButyoukeptsayingIcould.Kepttellingmetotakeyourhandandgowithyou.”
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Shelinkedfingerswithhimnow,astronggrip.
“WhenIdid,itwaslikebeingpulledoutofapitwhilesomethingfoughttodragmeback,pulledoutandout,andthelight,itwasblinding.ThenIfelttherainagain.Ithurt,everything,allatonce.Mybody,myheart,
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myhead.Theshadowswerehorrible,butIwantedtogobackwhereIdidn’tfeelthepain.”
“Partofitwasshock,”Brannasaid.“Andwhathe’dusedtotakeyou.Thentheabruptyankback.It’swhyConnorputyoutosleep.”
“Ioweyouall.”
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“We’reacircle,”Boylebegan.“Nothing’sowed.”
“No,Ido.Oweyouforcomingforme—andyes,anyofuswouldfortheother.AndIoweyoumyapologyforbeingsofoolishastogivehimthechancetotakeme.Anddoingthatputusallatrisk.”
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“It’sdone.”Boylereachedover,pokedhershoulder.
“Itis,”Brannaagreed.“Nowyou’llhavesometeaandquietupinbed.”
“I’vesleptenough.”“Notnearlyenough,
butyoucantakeyourteaoutbythefireuntilyou’rereadytogoup.”
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“I’lltuckyouup.”MearafrownedatFin.
“Icanmovemyarsefromheretothere.”
“Nowthen,you’renotafteranargumentaftersuchafineapology,areyou?”Hesettleditbygoingaroundthetable,pluckingherrightoutofherchair.“You’rea
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sturdygirl,MearaQuinn.”“Oh,amInow?”HeshotConnoragrin
overhisshoulder,cartedherintothesofa.Hegavethefirealittleboostwithafingerflick,thensetherdown,pulledtheprettythrowoverherwhilesheeyedhimbalefully.
“Ihatebeingtended.”
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“SodoI,likepoison.That’swhyI’mdoingit.Youdeserveabitofapinch.”
“Goonthen,makemefeelguiltierthanIalreadydo.”
“Noneedforthat.”Hesatdown,justaboveherhip,gaveherabriefstudy.Andpulledtheblue
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chalcedonyoutofhispocket.“Ithoughtyoumightwantthis.”
“Oh.Howdidyou—”“Itwasaquicktripto
thestablestofetchyourjacket,andthisoutofthepocket.”Hedangleditbytheband.“Doyouwantitorno?”
“Ido,verymuch.”
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Helaiditaroundherneckhimself.“Havemoreofacarewithit,andwithhim.”
“Iwill.”Shelookedup,intohiseyes.“Iswearit.Thankyou.Thankyou,Fin.”
“You’rewelcome,andmaybewe’llseeifthere’sanycakestogowiththat
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tea.”Hestartedout,glanced
back.Sheheldthestonesinherpalm,strokedthemgentlywithafinger.
Love,hethought.Itcouldmakeyouafoolorahero.Orbothatonce.
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M
18
EARAWOKEINCONNOR’SBED.ALONE.THREE
WHITEcandlesglowedin
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clearglassdomesonhisdresser.Somemagickalhealththing,shesupposed—asthescentoflavender—sprigsofitunderthepillowalongwithmorecrystals—waslikelymeantforhealthandrestfulsleep.
Thelastsheremembered,asshe
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scannedback,she’dstretchedoutonthesofadownstairs,tuckedinbyFin,waitingfortheotherstocomeinfortheirtea.
Shewonderediftheyhad.
Itannoyedhershe’ddroppedoffagainlikeasickchild.Andannoyedhermoretofindherself
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aloneinbed.Whensheeasedoutof
bed,shefoundherlegsalittlewobbly,whichaddedathirdannoyance.She’dfeltsostrongafterdrinkingthebroth,founditloweringtorealizeshewasn’tfullyrecovered.
Someonehadchangedherintohernightwear,
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andthatwasloweringaswell.
Shewalked,abitdrunkenly,intothebath,peeredatherselfinthemirroroverthesink.Well,itwasGod’sholytruthshe’dlookedbetter,butshe’dlookedworse.
Shefrownedasshesawhertoothbrush,the
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creamssheused,othertoiletriestuckedneatlyintoabasketonthenarrowcounter.
They’dmovedherin,hadn’tthey,whilesheslept.Justpackedherup,settledherinwithoutsomuchasaby-your-leave.
Thensherememberedwhy,andsighed.
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Shedeservedit,andhadnogroundtostandon.She’dputherselfandeveryoneelseatrisk,giventhemhoursofworry.No,shewouldn’tquestionthedecision;shewouldn’tcomplain.
ButshewoulddamnwellfindConnor.
Shecrackedopenthe
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doorleadingtoIona’sroom.IfBoyleandIonahadgonetoBoyle’s,astheydidmostnightsnow,Connorwouldbeusingthisroom.Thoughheshouldbeusinghisown,withher.
Rainpattered,andwithoutevenahintofmoonlightshewaitedfor
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hereyestoadjusttothedarkbeforeshetiptoedintotheroom.Sheheardbreathing,movedcloser.ShehadamindtojustcrawlrightinwithConnor,andthey’dseewhathehadtosayaboutit.
Thenassheleanedoverthebedforacloser
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look,sheclearlysawIona,tuckedupwithBoyle,herheadonhisshoulder.
Asweetpicture,shethought—andaprivateone.Butbeforeshecouldbackaway,Ionawhispered,“Areyoufeelingsick?”
“Oh,no,no,I’msorry.”Mearahissedit
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out.“Sosorry.Iwoke,andIcameinlookingforConnor.Ididn’tmeantowakeyou.”
“It’sallright.He’sonthesofadownstairs.Doyouneedanything?Icanmakeyousometeatohelpyousleepagain.”
“IfeellikeI’vesleptaweek.”
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“Andsomeofushaven’tsleptthroughonebloodynight,”Boylemuttered.“Goaway,Meara.”
“I’mgoing.I’msorry.”Shewentoutthrough
thehalldoor,heardtherumbleofBoyle’svoice,themurmurofIona’slaughbeforesheshutit
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behindher.Fineforthem,she
thought,allcurledupwarmtogether,andhereshewassneakingaroundinthemiddleofthenighttryingtofindherman.
Shewashalfwaydownthestepsbeforeitstruckher.
Herman?Whenhad
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shestartedthinkingofConnoras“herman”?Shewasfuddledup,thatwasall,justfuddledupfrommagicksdarkandlight.Shewasn’tthinkinganywayatall,notclearly,andshouldprobablygostraightbackuptobed.
Sleepitalloff.Butshewantedhim,
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thatwasthehellofit.ShewantedherheadrestingonhisshoulderasIona’swasonBoyle’s.
Shemadeherwaydown.
He’dwrappedhimselfupinthethrowonthesofathatwastooshortforhimsohisfeetendedupproppedonthearmofit,
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andhisfacehalfsmashedintothepillowangledontheotherarm.
Theonlywayamancouldbeneartocomfortableunderthecircumstanceswouldbebydrinkinghimselfunconsciousfirst.Sheshookherhead,setherhandsonherhips,and
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wonderedhowhemanagedtolooksofeckingadorable,considering.
They’dbankedthefiresoitburnedlowwithsimmeringcoalsredasabeatingheart.Thelightflickeredoverhim,addingabitofthedeviltotheadorable.
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Regardless,shehadsomewordstosaytohim,andhewasabouttohearthem.
Shestartedforward,eyesonhisface,andtrippedoverthebootshe’dtossedaside.
Shelandedonhim,hardandfull,gettinganelbowinthebellyforher
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trouble.Sothefirstwordshesaidtohimwasoof.
Andhisresponsewasamuttered,“Whatthefuck!”asheleveredup,grabbedhershouldersasifpreparedtogiveheragoodtoss.Thenhesaid,“Meara?”andpushedthehairoutofherface.
“Itrippedoveryour
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giganticbootsandintoyourbonyelbow.”
“Youmayhavecollapsedoneofmylungs.Here.”Heshiftedher,managedtositwithherhalfsprawledoverhislap.
Itwasfarfromthewayshe’dintendedthingstogo.
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“Areyoufeelingsickthen?”
Evenasheliftedahandtoherbrowasiftocheckforfever,shebatteditaside.“WhyiseveryonethinkingI’msick?I’mnotsick.Iwoke,that’sallthereistoit.IwokeasI’vesleptmostofadayandhalfanightaway.”
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“Youneededto,”hesaid,altogetherreasonable.“Doyouwantsometea?”
“IcanseetomyownteaifI’minthemoodforbloodytea.”
“Sureyou’reinsomemoodortheother.”
Tearswantedtofighttheirwaythroughthe
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annoyance,andshewouldn’thaveit.“Yousaidyou’dforgivenme.”
“Idid.Ihave.Herenow,you’recold.”
Shebattedagainashestartedtowrapthethrowaroundher.“Leaveoff,willyouleaveofffussingoverme.”Thoseinsistenttearskeptpushingup,
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shocking,shaming,stupefyingher.“Justleaveoff.”
Shetriedtopushaway,rollupandoff,buthewrappedhisarmsaroundher,heldherin,heldhertight.“Justcalmyourselfdown,MearaQuinn.Bestillamoment.Bequietamoment.”
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Theeffortoftryingtopullawayexhaustedher,leftheroutofbreathandeverclosertotears.“Allright,I’mcalm.”
“Notyet,butinamoment.Takeabreathortwo.”Herockedhergently,lookedtowardthefire,boostedtheflames.
“Don’ttendtome,
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Connor.Itmakesmewanttoblubber.”
“Blubberawaythen.It’sallreaction,Meara,allnaturalfromwhatwasdonetoyou,andwhatneededtobedonetocounterit.”
“Whenwillitstop?”“It’slessthanitwas,
isn’titnow?Andwillbe
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evenlessinthemorningwithmorecalm,morerest.Haveabitofpatience.”
“Ihatepatience.”Helaughed,brushed
hislipsoverherhair.“ThatIknow,butyouhaveit.I’veseenitmyself.”
Butshehadtodigand
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digdeepforit,Mearathought.Connorsimplyownedit,likethecolorofhiseyes,thetimbreofhisvoice.
“Idon’thateyourpatience,”shemurmured.
“That’sgoodtoknowasitwouldbeahardthingtoridmyselfofittopleaseyou.Tellmenow,
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didsomethingwakeyou,ordidyouwakenatural?”
“Ijustwaked,andyouweren’tthere.”Sheheardit,thepetulanceinhervoice.Shecouldonlyhopethatwaspartofthereactionaswell,orelseshe’dlearntohateherselfbeforemuchlonger.
“Ifyouforgiveme,
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whyareyousleepingdownherewithyourfeethangingovertheendofthesofa?”
“Youneededquietandrest,that’sall.”Becausehetrustedhercalmnow,hemanagedtoshiftthembothsotheywedgedtogetherinthecornerofthesofa,lookingtoward
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thefire.“Youwereasleepbeforewebroughtoutthetea,andneverstirredwhenIcarriedyouup,andBrannagotyouinyournightclothes.It’shealing,darling,thesleep’sahealingthing,andyourmindandbody,evenyourspirittookwhatitneeded.”
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“Ithoughtyoudidn’twanttobewithme,andIhuntedyoudowntofightaboutit.”
“ThenI’mgladyoutrippedovermybootsasthisisnicerthanafight.”
“I’msorry.”“There’snoneedto
keepbeingsorry.”Hetracedafingeroverthe
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stonesaroundherneck.“Finwenttothestables
andgotitforme.”“Iknow.”“Iwon’ttakeitoff
again.”“Iknow.”Trust,patience,
forgiveness.No,shedidn’tdeservehim,shethought,andpressedher
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facetohisthroat.“Ihurtyou.”
“Youdid,yes.”“Howdoyouloveso
easy,Connor?Sofreeandeasy.Idon’tmeanhowitalwayswaswithus,orhowitisforyouwithBranna.”
“Well,I’mnewwithitmyself,soIdon’tknow
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forcertain.Icansayitwaslikeholdingsomethingyou’vehadsolongandisjustanotherpartofyou.Thentiltingthatsomethingalittle.Youknowhowyouholdapieceofglass,thenchangetheanglejustabit,anditcatchesthesun,makesthatbeam?You
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cankindleafirethatway,justtiltingtheglass.Somethinglikethat,andwhatwasalreadytheretippedandcaughtallthelight.”
“Itcouldtipanotherway,andloseitagain.”
“Whywoulditwhenthelight’ssolovely?Doyouseethefirethere?”
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“Ido,ofcourse.”“Allittakesisabitof
tending,astir,morefuel,andit’llburndayandnightandnightandday,giveyoulightandwarmth.”
“Youcouldforgettostirit,orrunoutoffuel.”
Laughing,henuzzledatherneck.“Thenyou’d
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becareless,andshameonyouforit.Loveneedstending,iswhatI’msaying.It’ssomeworktokeepthelightandthewarmth,butwhywouldyouwanttobecoldinthedark?”
“Noonewouldwantto,butit’seasytoforgettotendthings.”
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“Iexpectsometimesbothtend,andothertimesonemaytendmoreastheotherforgetsforabit,thenitmightshiftoveragain.”
Itwasallamatterofbalance,hethought,withsomecareandefforttossedin.
“What’seasyisn’t
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alwayswhat’sright,anditmaytakeareminderhereandthere.Overitall,Meara,I’veneverknownyoutojustsettleontheeasy.You’veneverbeenafraidofthework.”
“WhatIcanliftorcarryorcleanorputmybackinto,no.Butemotionalworkisanother
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matter.”“Ihaven’tseenyou
shirkonthatareaeither.Youdon’tcredityourselfnearenough.Friendshipstaketendingaswell,don’tthey?Howhaveyoumanagedtoremainsuchgood,strongfriends,notonlywithme,butBranna,Boyle,Fin,nowIona?
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Thenthere’sfamily,”hesaidbeforeshecouldcomment.“Andfamiliestakeconsiderabletending.You’vedonemorethanmanywouldforyours.”
“Yes,but—”“Andgrumblingabout
itdoesn’tmatter,”hesaid,anticipatingher.“It’sthedoingthatcountsatthe
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endoftheday.”Hekissedherbetween
theeyes.“Trustyourself.”“That’sthehardpart.”“Wellthen,practice.
Youdidn’tlearnhowtorideahorsebystandingbackandwonderingifyoumightfalloff.”
“I’veneverinmylifefallenoffahorse.”
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“There,youseemypointinitall.”
Itwasherturntosmile.“Aren’tyouthecleverone?”
“Thatmakesyoutheluckyone,tohavesuchaclevermaninlovewithyou.Withpatienceenoughtoletyoupracticeuntilyoucatchup.”
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“Itmakesmyheartshakewhenyousayit,”sheadmitted.“Itmakesmesoafraidwhenyousayittomemyheartshakes.”
“Thenyou’lltellmewhenitstopsshakingandgrowswarminstead.Nowtrytosleepagain.”
“Here?”“Here’swhereweare,
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andwe’recozy,aren’twe?Andthefire’snice.Doyouseethestoriesinthefire?”
“Iseethefire.”“There’restoriesinthe
embers,intheflames.I’lltellyouone.”
Hespokeofacastleonahill,andabraveknightonawhitestallion.Ofa
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warriorqueenskilledwithbowandswordwhorodetheskyonagoldendragon.
Allsofanciful,shethought,andsoprettyshenearlysawwhathedrewwithhiswords.
Andshedriftedofftosleepagainwithasmileonherface,andherhead
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pillowedonhisshoulder.
***
ITTOOKTHREEDAYSBEFORESHEWASABLETOBEUPANDawakemorethandownandasleep.Shespentthewholeofthefirstdayinbed,onthesofa,or
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doingwhatsmallchoresBrannawouldassignher.Butbythesecond,shefeltabletoreturntothestablesforpartoftheday,helpwithgrooming,feeding.
Andmadeherapologiestohercoworkers.
Bythethird,she’d
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foundMearaagain.Itfeltsogoodshesang
assheshoveledshit.“Lookatyou,giving
Adelearunforhermoney.”
“Thewoman’sgotabrilliantthroat.”Mearapaused,smiledbackatIonawholeanedontheopenstalldoor.“SureI
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neverreallyunderstoodthatsayingabouthowatleastyouhaveyourhealth.Neverreallysickadayinmylife.Astrongconstitutionandabestfriendwho’sawitchwithexceptionalhealingpowerssawtothat.NowthatI’vebeendown,I’mlearningtogivethanksfor
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beingupagain.”“Youlookgreat.”“Andfeelevenbetter.”Mearawheeledthe
barrowoutofthestall,andIonasteppedintosweepitout.Withtheirchangedpositions,Mearaglancedright,left,tobecertaintheywerealone.
“SinceI’mbetter,will
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youtellmehowbaditallwas?”
“Youdon’tremember?Youhadallthedetailsbefore,onceyoucameoutofit.”
“No,Iremember.WhatI’mmeaningishowbadwasit,Iona?Howclosedidhecometodestroyingme?Ididn’tfeelright
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askingBrannaorConnorbefore,”sheaddedwhenIonahesitated.“ButI’monmyfeetnow,andI’maskingyou.Knowingthewholeofit’sthelastofthehealingIthinkI’llneed.”
“Itwasverybad.I’veneverdealtwithanythinglikethatbefore.Well,I
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don’tthinktheothershadeither,buttheyknewmoreaboutit.Thefirstmoments,fromwhatBrannatoldme,werecritical.Thedeeperyouwentunder,theharderitwouldbetobringyouback,andthemorelikely...therecouldhavebeenakindofbrain
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damage.”“Amadness.”“Ofakind,Ithink.
Andmemoryloss,apsychosis.BrannasaidConnorreachingyousoquicklymadeallthedifference.”
“Sohesavedmylife,andmysanityaswell.”
“Yes.Afterthat,the
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nexthourortwowerecriticalpoints.Brannaknewjustwhattodo,orshebluffedreallywellwhilebarkingoutorderstoConnorandme.Ididn’trealizehowscaredIwasuntilwewerefinished;itwasalljustdo,anddonow.ThenFincameandhavinghimaddedtoit.
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AndBoyle.Hesat,heldyourhandrightthroughtheritual.Ittookoveranhour,andyouweresowhiteandpaleandstill.Thenyourcolorstartedtocomeback,notmuch,butalittle.”
“I’mmakingyoucry.Idon’tmeantomakeyoucry.”
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“No,it’sokay.”Ionadashedthetearsaway,andtogethertheycutthebindingonthefreshbale.“Yourcolorcameback,andBoylesaidhefeltyourfingersmoveinhis.Andthat’swhenIrealizedhowscaredI’dbeen—whentheworst,accordingtoBranna,wasover.”
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“Heputmedownhard,”Mearasaidassheloosenedthestrawwithapitchfork.“That’satickinhiscolumn.”
“Maybe,butwebroughtyouback,andhereyouarespreadingfreshstrawforSpud’sstall.That’sabiggertickinours.”
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Thesilverlining,Mearamused.Ionacouldalwaysfindone.Andmaybeitwastimeshestartedsearchingthemoutherself.
“I’mafterkeepingitthatway.I’llbeputtinginsometimewithmysword.Ineedthepractice.”
Neededpractice,she
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thoughtastheymovedtothenextstall,onmanythings.
***
CONNORDIDSOMECLEANINGOFHISOWN,BUTWHATHEconsideredend-of-the-daywork.Birds
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mustbefed,andaswithhorses,theirareacleanedregularlyofdroppings.Accordingtohispersonalcalendaritwastimeforthehawks’bathtobecleanedandsanitized.
Hewantedthelabor.He’dneededthesheerphysicalityandmindlessroteofitthelastdayorso
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whileMeararecovered.Ittookefforttomaintainhisowncalm,forhersake,toaddsomecheertokeepherspiritsupwhenshe’dbeenweakenedandtired,andsounlikeherself.
Withsomewomenyoubroughtflowersorchocolate.WithMeara—notthatsomeblossoms
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andcandywereoutofplace—shedidbetterwithbitsandpiecesofvillagegossip,ortalesofwork,ofthepeoplewho’dcomebytheschoolsorstables.
He’ddonehisbesttosupplyher,toprophisbootsup,liftapintandregaleherwithstories—someofwhichhe
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embellished,othershemadeupofwholecloth.
Andwhathe’dwantedtodowashuntCabhandown,todarethebastardtoshowhimself.Hewantedtowhipawindsofierceitwouldrendhisbonesandfreezehisblood.
Thethirstfor
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vengeanceransostronghewasconstantlyparched.
Andknewbetter,Jesus,knewbetter,hethoughtashescrubbedthetubwhilethebirdsperchedandwatchedhim.Butknowingandfeelingweren’tthesamethingatall.Hecouldhopethatthe
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laborburnedthethirstoutofhim.
Thenhesawher,walkingacrossthewidegravelyard.Helefteverything,wentoutandthroughtomeether.
“Whatareyoudoingwalkingaboutalone?”hedemanded.
“Icouldaskthesame
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ofyou,butasIknowwhatyou’llsaytothatIwon’tandavoiditall.IonaandBoyledroppedmeoffbeforetheywenttoCongforapintandameal,soIhaven’tbeenaloneatall,asI’mnotnow.”
Sheglancedaround.“You’relateatthis,aren’tyou,Connor?Where’s
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everyoneelse?”“Wefinishedupthe
lasthawkwalk,andIsentthelotofthemon.Brianhadsomestudyingforthisonlineclasshe’staking,andKyrahadherselfahotdate.Andfortherest,Ithoughttheycoulduseanextrahourfree.”
“Andyouwantedsome
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timealonewithyourfriends,”sheaddedwithanodtowardthehawks.
“Therewasthataswell.Ihavetofinishuphere,sinceI’vestarteditall.”
“I’llcomebackwithyou,ifthat’sallright.Thenyou’llgivemealiftbacktothecottage.”
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Hewalkedherback.Thebirdsruffledabitatthevisitor,gaveheralongstare.
“Ihaven’thadtimetovisitmuchinthelastmonths,”shecommented.“Theyoungonesdon’tknowme,ornotwell.”
“They’llcometo.”Hegotbackdowntofinish
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thecleaning.“How’dthedayallgoforyouthen?”
“Justasitshould.Itookouttwoguideds.”Sheangledherheadathissharplook,pulledoutthestonessheworefromunderherscarf.“AndIonainsistedItakeAlastar—andshebraidedfreshcharmsinhismane.Isaw
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nothingbutthewoodsandthetrail.Iwon’tbereckless,Connor.Formyownsake,yes,butalsobecauseIneverwanttoputyouortheothersthroughwhatIputyouthroughoncealready.”
Shepausedamoment.“Ineedtheworkandthehorsesasyouneedthe
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workandthehawks.”“You’reright.Ihope
hefeltyou.Ihopehefelthowstrongandableyouare,despitehim.”
Hebegantofillthetub,listenedtothewaterpour.
“YouthinkIdon’tknowyou’reangry,”shesaidquietly.“ButIdoknowit.I’mangryas
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well.I’vewantedtoendhim,always,becauseit’sneeded,becauseofyouandBrannaandFin.ButnowIdon’tonlywanttoendhim—Iwanttogivehimpainandmiseryfirst,toknowhesuffers.Idon’ttellBrannaasshe’dneverapprove.Forherit’sonlyaboutrightandwrong,
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lightanddark—birthrightandblood.AndIknowthat’showitshouldbe,butIwanthispain.”
Fromhiscrouch,helookedupather.“Iwouldgiveittoyou,andmore.Iwouldgiveyouhisagony.”
“Butwecan’t.”Hunkeringdownbeside
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him,shetouchedhisarmlightly.“BecauseBranna’sgottherightofit,andbecauseitwouldchangeyou.Toseekrevengeonly?Toseektocausepainandsufferingtopayhimbackforwhathedidtome?Itwouldchangeyou,Connor.Ithinkitwouldn’tchange
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me,butthat’sthelackinme.”
“It’snotalackatall.”“It’showI’mbuilt,so
we’llallhavetolivewithit.Butyou’rethelight,andthere’sreasonforthat.Endhim,itmustbedone.Butitmustbedoneasitshouldbedone.Andifthere’spain,it’sbecauseit
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hadtobe,notbecauseyouwilledit.”
“You’vedonesomethinkingonthis.”
Hemeasuredouttheadditives,thenashealwaysdid,stirredthewaterwithhishandsoverthesurface,addingthatlightshespokeof,forthehealthandwell-beingof
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hisbirds.“God,yes,andfartoo
muchonit.Andinthinkingfartoomuchonit,IcametounderstandyouneededtoknowIfeltasyoudo,butitisn’twhatIwantfromyou,orformyself.Iwantwhatweare,thesixofus.Iwantustoberight.Andwhen
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weendhim,andit’sdone,forustoknowwewereright.Iwantnoshadowsoverus,noshadowsoveryou.That’srevengeenoughforme.”
“Iloveyou,Meara.Ilovethatyou’dunderstandthis,comecleartoit,andtellme.I’vebeentorn,inawayI’veneverbeen.”
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“Don’tbe.KnowI’mtellingyouwhat’sinmyheart.Iwantustoberight.”
“Thenwewillbe.”Satisfied,relieved,she
nodded.“Andit’stimetotalkofitallagain.Iknowyou’veallletitgothelastfewdays.”
“Youweren’tuptoit.”
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“I’mmorethanuptoitnow.”Shepushedup,flexedherbicepstomakehimsmile.“Sowe’lltalkagain,thesixofus.”
“Tonight?”“Tonight,tomorrow
nightifneedbe.We’llseewhattheotherssay.”
“I’llfinishupthen.”Helookedather,smiled.
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Forsomewomenitwasflowers,hethought,orchocolate.
ForMeara?“Holdyourarmsout.”“What?WhywouldI?”“BecauseIaskyou.
Holdyourarmsout.”Sherolledhereyes,but
didasheasked.Hestretchedhishandstoward
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thebirds,theyoungones,senthisthoughtstothem.
Withtheflowofhishands,theylifted,asoftwhooshofwings—theyounghawks—androseuptocircleher,tomakeherlaugh.
“Holdstill,anddon’tworryaboutyourjacketoryourskin,I’vetakenthat
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inthemeasure.”“What—Oh!”Theylandedlightand
gracefulalongheroutstretchedarms.
“We’vetrainedthemwell,thoughthisisn’tintheirlessons.Stilltheydon’tseemtomindit.Andthey’llknowyou,Meara,nowtheywill.”
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“They’rebeautiful.They’resobeautiful.Whenyoulookintheireyesyouthinktheyknowmorethanwedo.Somuchmore.”
Shelaughed,andatthesoundofit,theterriblethirstthathaddoggedhimfordaysfinallyeased.
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T
19
HEYHADTEA,WITHWHISKEYFORTHOSEWHOWANTEDit,inthe
livingroomofthecottage.
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Brannasetoutaplateofgingerbreadbiscuitsandconsideredherdomesticdutiesdone.
“Wheredowebegin?”shewondered.“DowestillagreeonSamhain?”
“Itgivesusafortnight,”Boylepointedout.“AndfromwhatIcanseewecouldusethetime.
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But...”“But.”Finoptedfor
whiskeyandpouredhimselftwofingers,neat.“He’scomeatushard.Weweren’treadyforhim,andthat’sclearenough.”
“Itwasmyfault.”“Faultisn’tthepointof
it,Meara,”Fininterrupted.“Helurksand
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slithersaboutathiswill,andcouldcomeatanyoneofusinamomentofvulnerability.He’sbeenatIona,andnowatyou.Fromthepatternofit,ifwedon’tendthis,he’llgoatBrannanext.”
“Lethimcome.”Brannacalmlytookasipoftea.
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“You’refartoococksureofyourself,”Finsnappedback.“Arroganceisn’tpoweroraweapon.”
“You’veneverhadtroublewrappingyourselfinitgoodandtight.”
“Stop.”Connorstretchedhislegsout,shookhishead.“Thepairofyou.Savethepokes
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andbarbsforwhenwe’vetimeforthem.HemaywellgoatMearaagain,butshewon’tbefoolishasecondtime.”
“Myoathonthat.”“Andit’sjustaslikely
hecouldtakeapassatBoyle,orFinormyselfifhesawanopportunity.”
Riskinghavingan
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accusationofarrogancetossedathim,Connorshrugged.“AndthoughIthinkFin’sright,ifhetiresofgoingforMeara,he’llturnhisattentionsonBranna,knowingthatdoesn’tspeaktowhatwedo,whenwedoit,andhowwesendhimontohellforallanddone.”
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“He’sright.Protectingourselves,that’sdefense—andit’sessential,”Ionaadded.“Butit’souroffensethatneedstobeperfected.”
“She’sbeenwatchingmatcheswithme.”Boylegaveheraquickgrin.“Wewereclosethelastwewentforhim,senthim
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offbleedingandhowling.Butitwasn’tenough.Whatwillbe?”
“Thepotion’sstrongerthanitwas,andthatmakesitarisk.Onewe’llhavetotake.”FinflickedaglanceatBranna,gothernod.
“Wethoughttotakehimbysurpriseonthe
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solstice,”Connorpointedout,“andhetookus.Eventhen,asBoylesaid,wegotclosetoit.IfwemakeourstandatSorcha’scabin,he’llhavetheadvantageofshiftingthetime,andwecouldn’tknowwhenhe’dtakeus,orifhecould,ashedid,managetoseparateusso
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we’dendupscattered,usingpowertoreformagain.”
“Ifnotthere,”Mearaasked,“where?”
“It’saplaceofpower,forusaswellashim.Ithinkitmustbethere.Butyou’reright,Connor,”Brannaadded.“Wecan’tbeseparated.I’mthinking
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thethreeasaunit,andFin,Boyle,andMearaasanother—andthosejoinedinawaythatcan’tbebroken.Thiswecando—andthiswewilldothistime.”
“Canweblockhimfromthetimeshift?”Ionawondered.
“Wecould,Ithink,if
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weknewhowhedoesit.Buttocountersuchaspell,we’dneedtheelementsofit.It’sworkingblindthere,”Brannasaidinfrustration.
“Weshiftfirst.”Connorleanedforward,tookabiscuit.“You’renottheonlyonewhocanstudyandponderand
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plot.”HegesturedtowardBrannawiththebiscuit,thenbitin.“Butyou’retheonlyonewhocanmakesuchbrilliantgingerbread.Wetaketheoffensive,andshiftfromthestart.”
“Andhow,scholar,shouldwefindthewaytodothat—whichwilltake
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considerabledoing—wouldwelurehimtowhenweare?”
“Weknowthewaytodoitalready,”heremindedhissister.“Ionadiditherselfwhenshe’dnomorethangottenhertoedippedinherownmagickalwaters.”
“Idid?”Afterablink,
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Ionapumpedherfistintheair.“Go,me.”
“I’vedoneitmyself,”headded,“aloneandwithMeara,andmetourlong-agocousins.”
“Dreamtravel?”Brannaputdownherteacup.“Oh,Connor,that’sarecklessthing.”
“It’srecklesstimes,
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andwe’dhavetobesmartaboutit.”
“It’sbloodybrilliant,”Finsaid,andearnedConnor’sgrin,Branna’sscowl.
“He’stalkingofcastingadreamnetoverthesixofusatonce.”
“Iknowit.That’swhat’sbloodybrilliant.
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He’dhavetobeonthesamelevel,wouldn’the,tocomeatus?Anditwouldbeinthetimeandplaceofourchoosing.”
“Hecouldn’tturnitonus,”Connorpointedout,“ashewouldn’tknowtheelementsofthespellwecast,anymorethanweknowtheelementsofhis.
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It’shimwho’dhavetocometous,andhe’dlosethepowertoshiftourground.”
“Givemeamoment.”Boyleliftedahand,thenusedittoscratchhishead.“Areyousayingwe’dgoagainstCabhaninoursleep?”
“Adreamspell’s
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differentfromnaturalsleep.It’snotlikeyou’relyingtheresnoringthemoff.You’vedoneabitofityourself,”Connorrecalled.“PulledinwithIonaintoherdream—anddidn’tyougivethebastardagoodpunchinthefacewhileyouwereatit?”
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“Idid,andwokewithhisbloodonmyknuckles.Butadreambattle?I’veacceptedallthelotofyoucandoasI’velivedwithitmostofmylife,butthisstrainsthetether.”
“He’dneverexpectit,”Mearaspeculated.“Canitreallybedone?”
“Allsixatonce,and
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withnooneleftbehindatthewheelyoucouldsay.”Strugglingtolookatthepros,thecons,thebalanceofthem,Brannashovedbothhandsthroughherhair.“Sureit’snothingI’veeverdone.I’dbeeasytryingitwiththethree,facinghimoffthatway,andthethreeofyouback
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here—Finatthatwheelforcertaintosteerusbackshouldwelosebalanceordirection.”
“It’sthesixofus,”Mearasaiddecisively,“ornotatall.”
“Meara,I’mnottalkingthisthroughinthewayofinsultingyou.Anyofyou.Butdreamcastingsix
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together,andtwoofthemwithoutpowers.”
“Notsococksurenow?”Finasked,withjustalittlebite.
“Oh,feckoff,”Brannasnapped.
“Andbackatyou,darling,forsuggestingthatIorBoyleorMearawouldstaybacklike
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obedientpupswhileyouwagedthewar.”
“That’snotmymeaning.”
“It’showitfeels.”MearaturnedtoConnor.“Andyou?”
“Thesixofus,”hesaidwithouthesitation,“ornoneatall.”
“Allornone,”Boyle
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agreed.“Yes.”Nodding,Iona
tookhishand.“Ifanyonecanworkouthowitcanbedone,Branna,it’syou.”
“Ah,Jesus,bloodyhell,letmethink.”Sheshovedtheteacupaside,pouredwhiskey—moregenerouslythanFinhad.
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Shetosseditbacklikewater.
“I’vealwaysadmiredyourheadforwhiskey,”Finsaidassheshovedtoherfeettopace.
“Bequiet.Justbequiet.Sixatonce,”sherepeatedasshepaced,“inthenameofMorrigan,it’smadness.Andtwoof
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themarmedwithnothingbutwitandfistandswordforallthat.AndoneofthembearingCabhan’smark.Justshutupaboutit,”shesnappedatFin,who’dsaidnothingatall,“it’sfact.”
“They’rearmedwithmorethanwitandfistandsword,andhavemore
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thanamarkunearned.”Connorspokequietly.“Theyhaveheart.”
“DoyouthinkIdon’tknowit?DoyouthinkIdon’tvalueit,aboveall?”Shestopped,closedhereyesamoment.Sighed.“You’veturnedthisupsidedownonme,Connor.Ineedtowork
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mywaythroughit.It’snotlikeoneofusgoingintoamagickaldreamandtakingalongtheonelyingwithus,theonewe’vebeenintimatewith.Andthathasitsownrisks,asbothBoyleandIonaknowwell.”
“It’snot,no.Thiswouldbeadeliberateand
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consciousthing,aplannedthing,acastingofourown.”Connorliftedhishands,spreadthem,palmsup.“Withasmanyprotectionsaswecanbuildintothespell.Butthere’llberisks,yes,butriskshoweverwegoaboutit.AndonSamhain,whentheVeilthins,isthe
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perfecttimeforthis.”Herose,wenttoher,
tookherhands.“You’dleavethembehindifyoucould—andIwouldaswell.That’sforloveandfriendship—andbecausethisisaburdenanddutythatcametous.Toyou,tome,toIona.Nottothem.”
Hekissedherhands
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lightly.“Butthatwouldbewrongforsomanyreasons.We’reacircle,threebythree.Itwasalwaysmeanttobethesixofus,Branna.Ibelievethat.”
“Iknowit.It’scleartomeaswell.”
“Youfearyou’llfailthem.Youwon’t.You
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won’t,andtheburdenofitisn’tyoursalone.”
“We’veneverdoneitbefore.”
“I’dneverfloatedsomuchasafeatherbeforeIcamehere,”Ionaremindedher.“Andnow?”
Sheliftedherhands,palmsup.Thesofawhere
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shesatbesideBoylerosesmoothly,soundlessly,didaslowcircle,thenloweredbacktotheground.
“Fairplaytoyou,”Finsaid,amused.
“Youtaughtme,youandConnor.YouopenedmetowhatIhaveandwhatIam.We’llfigure
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outhowtodoit,anddoit.”
“Allright.Allright.Ican’tstandoneagainstfive.Anditisabloodybrilliantidea.Recklessandfrighteningandbrilliant.IknowapotionIcouldtinkerwiththatshouldwork,andwe’llwritethespell—andI’ll
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needeveryhourofthatfortnight.”
“Andyouhaveustohelpyoutinker,”Connorpointedout.
“I’llneedyouallaswell.Still,I’dbeeasierifwehavewhatwouldbeakindofcontroloutsidethedreamnet.”
“Wouldtheyhavetobe
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righthere—withus,Imean?”Mearaasked.
“Physicallyyou’remeaning?”Connorglancedoverather,considered.“Idon’tseewhy.”
“Thenyouhaveyourfather,thetwoofyou.Andthere’sIona’sgrandmother.That’sblood
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andpurposeshared,isn’tit?Andloveaswell.”
“Andmorebloodybrilliance!”Onalaugh,ConnorturnedtoMeara,pluckedherstraightoutofherchairtospinheraround.“Thatwoulddo,anddoverywell.Branna?”
“Itcould—no,it
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would.AndifI’dclearedthebuzzingoutofmyhead,I’dhaveseenit.Iona’sNan,ourda,and...”
SheturnedtoFin.“YourcousinSelena.Wouldshebewilling?Three’sabetternumberthantwo,andgivesitallpowerandbloodfrom
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eachofus.Threewouldbalance,I’dthink,shouldweneedtoberightedagain.”
“Shewouldbemorethanwilling.She’sinSpain,butI’llcontacther.I’llspeakwithheraboutit.”
“Thenthatpart’ssettled.I’llstudyonit.”
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“Ihavebeen,”Connortoldher.“Thepotion,toopenthevision,sharedbyallinsidetheritualcircle.Bestdoneoutside,intheair.Wetakeourguidesaswell,thehorse,thehound,thehawk.”
Brannastartedtospeak,reconsidered.“Youhavestudiedonit.”
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“Ihave.Fin,yourhorse,yourhawk—andIdon’tsupposeyoucancomeupwithahoundinthenextfortnight?Threeforthree.”
“Ihaveone.IhaveBugs.”
“LittleBugs?”Ionabegan,thinkingofthebarndogatthebig
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stables.“Littleasyouare,
gameasyouare.Threeforthree,”Finrepeatedwithanod.“HorseforBoyle,hawkforMeara,hound,suchasheis,forme.It’swellthought,Connor.”
“It’syouwhomustlinkthemtotheothers,asthey
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comefromyou.”“SoIwill.”“Andsoinsidethe
circle,ourcircleandourguides,”Connorsaid.“Ourcircle,thesix,handsjoinedasthespellisspoken,asthespelliscast.Andmindslinkedaswell,whichIwilldo.Minds,hearts,hands
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linked,andwegotogether,onthedream,tothenightofAllHallow’sEve,toSamhain,intheyearSorcha’sBrannaugh,Eamon,andTeaganreturnedtoMayo.”
“Theirpresenceaddspower.”Brannasatagain,reachedforacookieherself.“Thenightthe
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Veilthins.Wemaydrawtheirpower,andSorcha’swithours.No,hecouldneverexpectthis.There’stimeenoughtoperfectthepotionandthespell.Andthen,todrawhimthere.That’sforMeara.”
“It’sforme?”Brannahuffedather
brother.“Youhaven’t
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spokentoherofit.”“Betweenonething
andtheother,no.It’syouhewantstousethisgo,”Connortoldher,“soit’syouwho’llusehim.You’llsinghimthere.”
“Sing?”“Music,light,joy—
emotions.Flamestohismoth,”Connorexplained.
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“Whenhecomes,itmustbeasquickaswecanmakeit,givinghimnotimetoslipawayagain.”
“Wegomuchaswedidonthesolstice,”Brannabegan.
“No.”NowFinpushedtohisfeet.“Wefailedthere,didn’twe?”
“Wehaveanew
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strategy,astrongerweapon.”
“Andifheonceagainmanagestodrawthethreeapartagain,evenifonlyforamoment?Ifthespell,theritual,theend,mustcomefromyou,thenhemustbeheldoffwhileyoucasthimout.Weengagehim.Boyle,
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Meara,andI.Wecosthimbloodandpainbefore.We’lldoworsethisround.We’lldoworsewhileyoudowhat’sbest.”
“Doyouwanthisend,Fin,ordoyouwanthisblood?”
“Iwantboth,andsodoyou,Branna.Youcan’tsheditforgainorfor
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joy.”“Norshouldyou.”“AndIwon’t.We
won’t.Butwe’llsheditandworseindefenseofthethree.Indefenseofthelight.Ifthere’sjoyinitaswell?Awitchisstillhumanforallthat.”
“I’mwithFinonit,”Boylesaid.“Iona’smine.
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Andallofyoumyfamily.I’llstandforher,foryou.Iwon’tstandback.”
“They’vesaidwhatI’dsay.”Mearashrugged.“Sothat’sdone.”Shesetherhandsonherknees.“So,asIhaveit,inafortnight’stime,we’llall—includinghorses,hounds,hawks,go
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dreamingourselvesbackafewcenturies.I’llsing,andlikethePiedPiper’stunetorats,thatwilllureCabhan.Threeofusfight,threeofuscastthespelltodestroyhim.Whenthejob’sdonewetakeourbows,thenwakeupbackherewhereweshouldtakeanotherbowforcertain,as
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we’vevanquishedevil.ThenIsupposeweshouldallgotothepubforapint.”
“Thatputsitallinanutshell,”Connordecided.
“Allrightthen.Ithinkthereshouldbewhiskeyallaroundaswe’reallravinglunatics.”Shelet
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outabreath,pickedupabiscuitandbitin.“Butatleastoneofusdoesindeedmakebrilliantgingerbread.”
Amused,Connorpouredwhiskeyallaround,liftedhisglass,tappedittoMeara’s.“Whetherwe’revictoriousorbuggered,there’sno
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fiveothersI’dratherstandwith.Sofuckitall.Sláinte.”
Andtheydrank.
***
THEYHADWORKTODOANDPLENTYOFIT.BRANNABARELYleftherworkshop.
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Ifhernosewasn’tinaspellbook—Sorcha’s,hergreat-grandmother’s,herown—shewasatherworkcountertestingpotionsorwritingspells.
Whenthelifearoundthemallowed,Connorjoinedher,orIonaorFin.Mearafoundherselfinthepositionoffetching,
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carrying,cooking—orsplittingthatchorewithBoyle.
Asoftenasshecouldshepulledoneofthemoutforswordpractice.
Andallwatchedthewoods,thefields,theroadsforanysign.
“It’sbeentooquiet.”Mearaeasilyparried
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Connor’sadvanceononeoftherareoccasionsshemanagedtodraghimawayfromworkorwitchcraft.
“He’swatching,andwaiting.”
“That’sjustit,isn’tit?He’swaiting.I’vebarelyseenashadowofhimfordaysnow.He’skeeping
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hisdistance.He’swaitingforustomakethemoveasheknowswe’veonetomake.”
Shethrust,feinted,thenswungup,nearlydisarminghim.
“You’renotpayingattentionintheleast,”shecomplained.“Ifthesebladesweren’tcharmedI
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could’veslicedyourearoff.”
“ThenI’donlyhalfhearyourvoice,andthatwouldbeapity.”
“Weshouldgoathim,Connor.”
“We’veaplan,Meara.Patience.”
“It’snotaboutpatience,butstrategy.”
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“Strategy,isit?”Hetwirledhisfreehand,stirredalittlecycloneofair.Whensheglancedtowardit,hemovedin,andhadhisswordtoherthroat.“How’sthat?”
“Well,ifyou’reaftercheating—”
“AndCabhanwillplaynicely,ofcourse.”
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“Pointtaken.”Shesteppedback.“WhatI’msayingisweshouldfeint.”Shejabbed,shifted,jabbedagain.“Makehimthinkwe’vegoneathim,lethimscoreapointortwo.He’llthinkwe’vemadeourmove,sohewon’texpectitwhenwedo.”
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“Hmm.That’s...interesting.Haveyouanythinginmind?”
“You’rethewitch,aren’tyou,soyouandyourlikewouldhavetocomeupwiththeritualofit.”
Loweringhersword,sheworkedthroughwhatshe’donlyhalfbakedin
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herhead.“Butwhatifwedidit
nearhere—nearthecottagewherewecouldretreat,asretreatwouldbepartofit.Lethimthinkhe’sroutedus.”
“That’sahardswallow,butIseewhereyou’regoing.Comeonthen.”Hegrabbedher
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hand,pulledherintotheworkshopwhereBrannafunneledapaleblueliquidintoaslimbottle.Ionacrushedherbswithmortarandpestle.
“Meara’sanidea.”Eyebrowsdrawn
together,Brannafocusedontheliquidslidinggracefullyintothebottle.
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“I’mstillworkingonthelastideathat’scomearound.”
“It’sperfect,Branna.”IonastoppedasBrannaslidacrystalstopperintothebottle.
“Andhowmanydreamspellsforsix,andtheirguides,haveyoucast?”
“Thiswillbemyfirst.”
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ButIonasmiled.“Andit’sperfect.Youshouldhaveseenthestars,”shetoldConnorandMeara.“Tinybluestarsrisingup,circlingaroundthecauldronasshefinishedit.”
“Ithinkit’sright.”Brannarubbedthesmallofherback.“Iaddedthe
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amethystasyousuggested,Connor,andIthinkit’sright.Itneedstocureoutofthelightforatleastthreedays.”
Sheliftedit,carrieditovertoacupboard.
“Letmemakeyousometea,”Ionabegan,butBrannashookherhead.
“Thanks,butno.I’ve
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hadenoughteatheselastdaystodomeforsixmonths.I’maftersomewine.”
“Thenwe’llhavesomewinewhileyouhearMeara’sidea.Better,don’tyoufeellikecookingsomething?”Connortriedoutawinningsmile.“Aren’t
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youfeelingalongingforyourownkitchen,darling?Thisisthesortofideathatgoeswellwithagoodbowlofsoup,andthefullcircleofus.”
Mearagavehimashove.“Ithinkit’sagoodidea,anditshouldbeheardbyeveryone.ButIcanmakethesoupwhile
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yousitandhaveyourwine.”
“I’llmakeit,becausedespitethefactthatmybrother’sthinkingwithhisbelly,Idomissmykitchen.We’vevegetablesinthegardenstill.”ShepointedatConnor.“Gofetchsome.”
“What’syour
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pleasure?”“Anyandall.I’llmake
itupasIgo.Andsinceyou’vehadsomefineidea,Meara,youcantellmeofitwhileIhavethewine.Idon’tseewhyIshouldwaitfortheothers.Leavethat,Iona.We’llgetbacktoit.Let’shavealittlekitchentime.”
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Mearathoughtshewasdoingsomemakingitupasshewentaswell.Andbythetimeeveryonearrived,she’drefinedthingsabit.
“So,”shefinished,“bydoingsomethingnowwithoutanyrealstakeinwinning,we’dhavehimthinkingwe’dmadeour
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attack,bungledit,oratleastfailedatit.We’reforcedtoretreattothecottage—wherewe’reprotected.Confused-like,youknow?Andbitter.Ifwe’vehadourarsehandedtous,hewouldn’tthinkwe’dlaunchanotherattackinamatterofdays.”
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“Ifwegohalfway,hecoulddorealdamage,”Boylepointedout.“Whynotgofull-out?”
“Westillneedthetimeleftfortheplanwesettledon.I’vebeenworkingthespellaroundthenightwechose,”Brannaexplained.“Iwouldn’twanttotryitonanother.Itmustbe
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Samhain.”“Herpointisbylosing
wehaveabetterchanceofwinning.”ConnorgaveBoyleabumpontheshoulder.“AndIknowlosing,evenbydesign,goesdownhard.”
“We’dhavetomakeitflashy.Hewon’tbefooledbysomethingthatlooks
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weakandtossedtogether.”ButFinsmiled.“Andwecouldgiveplentyofflash.Fireandstorm,quakeandflood.Wethrowtheelementsathim.Itwouldn’tberight—notonitsowninanycase,butitwouldbeloudandstronganditwouldfeelbloodyfierce.”
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“Acalltotheelements.”NowBrannabegantosmile.“Oh,wecouldmakeitfierceindeed.Evenrockhimonhisheelsabit.We’dneedtoshield,forwe’veneighborshere.Thefield—therisebehindthegardens.”
“That’sfartherthanI’d
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thought,”Mearabegan.“Ifwe’regoingtoberouted,that’salongroadtoretreatandsafety.”
“Wedon’tretreat,”Connorsaid.“Atleastnotatarun.Wefly.”
“Fly?”Mearaletoutalongbreath.“IthinkI’llhavesomemorewineonthatnotion.”
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“Thatmakesastatement,too.”Ionadidthehonorswiththewine.“We’redefeated,andhavetoflytosafety.Whenwouldwetryit?”
“We’reonawaningmoon.”Connorglancedtowardthewindow.“Thatcouldbeuseful.I’dlikeagoatittonight,butIthink
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closertotherealattack.Twonightsmore?Ifwegetanysingesfromit,we’dhavetimetomendthem.”
“Twonightsmore.”Brannawalkedovertostirhersoup.
***
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EVENAFEINTREQUIREDPLANNING.
Thethreeaddedmoreprotectionaroundthehouse.IfCabhanbelievedthemweakened,hemighttrytocomeinforthecoupdegrace.Theycouldn’taffordasinglechink.
Mearathoughtofitasakindofplay.Though
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somewouldbescripted,andshe’dgoneoverherpartofitadozentimesandmore,somewouldhavetobewrittenanddeliveredonthespot.
“I’mnervous,”sheconfessedtoConnor.“MorenervousthanIwasonthesolstice.”
“You’llbefine.Weall
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will.Rememberdefenseisthefirstgoalhere.Offenseisjustahappybonus.”
“It’snearlytime.”Asiftowarmthem,sherubbedherhandstogether.“Hemaynotevencome.”
“Ithinkhewill.He’llbelieveyou’reweak,andthatwe’refractured.He’llseeachance,wanttotake
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it.It’sfamilyhedoesn’tunderstand,andthebondsoffriendship.Buthe’llunderstandwhatwelurehimwith.”
Hetookherhand,walkedwithherintotheworkshopwheretheothershadalreadygathered.
Evenforthis,Meara
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thought,theritualmustbekept.
Sotheylightedtheritualcandles,watchedwhilethesmokefromthecauldronroseinapaleblue.
Brannatooktheritualcupsheplacedinthecircle,andspokewordsfamiliarnow.
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“Thiswedrink,onecupforsix,fromhandtohandandmouthtomouthtofixwithwineourunity.Sixhearts,sixmindsasonetonightaswepreparetowagethisfight.Sipone,sipall,andshoweachonehereanswersthecall.”
Threetimesthey
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passedthecup,handtohand,mouthtomouth.
“Acirclearewe,tworingsformingonethreebythree.Tonightweaskforstrengthandpowertoseeusthroughthedarkhour.FourelementswewillcalltobringaboutCabhan’sfall.Fire,earth,water,airwe’llstirintoaragingsea.
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Aswewill,somoteitbe.”Thethreeclosedthe
circle.“We’reready.The
circle’sbeencast,thespellbegun.Ifwehavetimetocastacircleontherise,somuchthebetter.”BrannalookedatMeara.“You’llknowwhentostart.”
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Shehopedso.Theywalkedtothe
rise,carryingcandles,cauldron,weapons,andwands,shieldedfromsight—butforCabhan’s.Connortoldherthey’dleftawindowforhim.
Astheytoppedtherise,hereachedforherhand.Shepulledsharplyaway.
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Andtheplaybegan.
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I
20
TOLDYOUTOSTAYCLEAROFME.”“Ahnow,Meara,it
wasjustapintinthepub.”
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“Talkrunslikeariver,Connor,soIknowjusthowyouspentyourtimeinthepub.”Shesenthimalookofabsolutedisgust.“AndwhileIwasbarelyabletostandafterwhatwasdonetome.Onyouraccountdonetome.”
“Jesus,Meara,itwasjustabitofaflirt.Some
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conversation,abitoffun.”
“Haveallthefunandconversationyouwant,butdon’tthinkyou’llcomecozyinguptomeafter.”Deliberatelyshequickenedherpace.“Iknowyourways.Whobetter?”
“Whatdoyouwant?”
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Hehunchedhisshouldersastheyclimbedthegentlerise.“Ineededabitofabreather,isall,afterbeingcoopedupdayafterdayinthecottageorslammedwithworkattheschool.Youcoulddolittlebutsleepforhoursatago.”
“Andwhywasthat?”Shestopped,roundedon
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him.“It’syouandyourmagicksputmeflat,isn’tit?”
Heplantedhisfeet,glaredbackather.“It’smeandmymagickssavedyourbleedinglife!”
“AndwhileIwasclingingtothatlife,you’reoffconversingwithAliceKeenanatthepub.”
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“Enough,enough,enough!”Brannablastedatbothofthem.“There’snotimeforthis.Didn’tItellyoumystarcharthastonightasourbestchancetofinishthis?Wecan’tdowhatneedsdoingwiththetwoofyousnipingateachother.”
“I’mhere,aren’tI?”
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Mearajerkedupherchin.“I’mhereputtingmylifeonthelineyetagainbecauseIsaidIwould.Ikeepmyword.Unlikesome.”
“Amanbuysagirlapint,andsuddenlyhe’saliar?”
“Laythecandles,Connor.”Brannashoved
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themathim.“Andfocusonwhat’sathand.Bythegods,couldn’tyouhavewaitedtillwe’ddonethisbeforesniffingaroundAliceKeenan?”
Onanoutragedhiss,Mearadumpedherpackontheground.“Oh,soit’sfineandwellforhimtorunaroundbehindme
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afterI’vebeenuseful?”“That’snotwhatI
meant,”Brannasaid,hertonesharp,dismissive.“Stopactingthegom.”
“NowI’mthegom?Youwouldtakehispart,evenknowinghewasoffwiththatsleveen.”
“Stop,willyouallstop?”Ionaputherhands
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overherears.“Beststayoutofit,”
Boyleadvised.“Ican’tstayoutofit.
They’remyfamily,andIcan’ttakeanymoreofthissnipingandbickering.Givemethose.”ShesnatchedthecandlesfromConnor,begantosecuretheminacircleonthe
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rise.“Howcanweworktogether,dowhatwe’veallsworntodo,ifwe’refighting?”
“Easyforyoutosay.”Mearaslammedahandonthehiltofhersword.“Whenyou’veBoyleactingthelapdogforyouateveryturn.”
“I’mnoone’sdog,
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Meara,andmindyourself.”
“Didn’tItellyoutonightwasn’tthetime?”Findrewhisathameoutofitssheath,examineditinthelightofthewaningmoon.
“IfIsaidup,you’dsaydown,”Brannashotback.“Forthespiteofit.”
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“Andwasn’tityouwhosaiditmustbethesolstice?Andhereweare,monthslater,atyourbiddingagain.”
“AndIwonderstillhowmuchyouheldbackthatnight.Ifmybiddingwasdone,youwouldneverbehere,youwouldneverbewithus.”
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“Branna,that’stoomuch.”Connorlaidahandonhershoulder.He’scoming,hetoldher,toldtheothers.Fast.
“Toomuchornotenoughhardlymattersnow.We’rehere.”
Brannasweptherhandout,lightedthecandles.Shesetthebowlatthe
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northmostpoint.Behindher,Connor
touchedhisfingerslightlytoMeara’s.
Shedrewinabreath,andbracedforit.
Fogdropped,athickcurtain,andwithitcameabitter,bone-deepcold.Aroaringrippedthroughit,shiveredoverthehigh
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grass.Evenasshedrewher
sword,Connorwhippedheraside.
Shefeltsomethingstreakbyher,grazingherarm,leavingafrigidburnofpainbehind.Shedidn’thavetofeignthefearandconfusion.Bothroseupinherlikeaflood.
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ThenConnor’svoicesoundedinherhead.I’mwithyou.Iloveyou.
Shespun,movingback-to-backwithBoyle,readiedtoattackordefend.
ThegroundtrembledunderherfeetasFincalledtoearth.
“Danu,goddessand
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mother,byyourpowerwillthisearthquakeandshudder.”
Evenprotectedbytheritual,Mearanearlypitchedforwardwhenthegroundheaved.
“OnAcionna,onManannanmacLirIcall,”Brannashouted.“OnCabhan’sheadyourwrath
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willfall.”Rainpouredoutofthe
sky,asifsomedeityhadturnedthecourseofaragingriver.
Throughthefog,thedeluge,shesawglowingstreaksofblackwinginglikearrows.Andtohershock,thefoghissed.Itcurledaroundherleglike
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asnake.Instinctivelysheslicedoutatit,rentit.Blackbloodsplatteredfromthemists.
Ballsoffirecatapultedout,burningtheblackarrowstocinderonIona’scall.“PoweroffireinBrighid’snametoscorchthedarkwithlightandflame.”
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ShefeltBoylelurch,whirledtodefend,andsawhimhackatathornytendriloffogstrikingtowardFin.
Shedoveunder,slicedandstruck,thenhadtoclingtothegroundasitheavedupunderher.
“Sidhe,heedyourservant,yourson,and
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withyourbreathbringhisdamnation.”
ShewatchedConnor,aflamewithintheflameslifthisarmshigh.Asshestruggledtoherfeetshesawtheboilingskyaboveopen.Andwhirl.
Camethelightning,spearingoutofthedarktostrikethequakingearth.
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Eventherainsparkedwithfire.ShesawIonafall,sawBoylespringovertolifther.Flamesshotfromherhandsatthewolf,attheman,atthetwisting,snakingbranchesoffog.
Shefoughtherwaythrough,backtowardthecirclewherethecandles
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stillglowedlikebeacons.BacktowardConnor,who’dgrippedBranna’shand,thenIona’s,sothethreeofthemlit,candlesthemselves.
Ithowled,thewolf.Itlaughed,theman.Thecandles,waxand
witch,sputteredandbegantodim.
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“Pullitback!”Brannashouted.“We’velostit.We’velostthenight.It’sdrainedfromus.Flee,whilewecan.”
ConnorgrippedMearaaroundthewaist—stronghands,facefierce,sheenedwithsweat,withblood.“I’llsteerclearofyouafterIsaveyourlifea
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secondtime.”Spinningthroughthe
air,showersofstars,sparksoffire.Lightsobrilliantshehadtosqueezehereyestight,turnherhead.
Falling,toofast,toofast,sothespeedsuckedtheairfromherlungs.
Thenextsheknewshe
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wassprawledoverConnoronthekitchenfloorwithhisheartgallopingunderherlikearunawayhorse.
Aterribleroarsweptover,around,rattlingthewindows.Greatfistspoundedatthedoors,thewalls,sothecottageshook.ForamomentMearabracedforitto
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collapseontheirheads.Thentherewassilence.Theotherslay,like
survivorsofsometerriblesmashup.KathelleapedoverhertoBranna,lickedatherface,whined.
“I’mallright,therenow.We’reallright.”
“Thatshouldconvincehimwe’dgonetowar
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tonight,asitbloodywellconvincedme.”ConnorstrokedMeara’shairasheshiftedher.“Areyouhurt?”
“Idon’tknow.Idon’tthinkso.You’rebleeding.”
Heswipedhisfingersoveragashonhistemple.“Didn’tdodgefast
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enough.”“Here,letmeseetoit.”
Brannascootedover.“Iona—”
“Iknowwhatyouneed.”Assherantowardtheworkshop,Mearatuggeduphertrouserleg,sawthelividbruisecirclingjustaboveherankle.
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“Here,letmeseetothat.”EvenasBrannatendedhim,Connorreachedout,laidhishandsonthebruising.
“Thefog—itturnedtosnakes.Andthorns.Itgrewthorns.”
“Notthorns,teeth.”Fin,hisfaceshinywithsweat,satonthekitchen
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floorwithhisbackbracedagainstacupboard.
“You’rehurt.AbitofthatforConnor’shead,”BrannasnappedtoIonaasshepusheduptogotoFin.“Seethatit’sclearandclean.Wereyoubitten?”shedemandedofFin.
“I’mjustwinded.”
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Shepressedherhandtohischest.“It’smore.Letmesee.”
“I’lltendtomyselfwhenI’vemybreathback.”
“Oh,bollocks.”Withaflashofherhand,shestrippedhimtothewaist.
“Ifyou’reaftergettingmyclothesoff,wecould
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dowithsomeprivacy.”“Shutit.”Shelooked
overhershoulder,spokeurgently.“Iona,thebalm!”
“I’llseetomyself,”Finbegan.
“I’llputyouunderifyoudon’tbestill,bequiet.YouknowIcanandwill.Connor,Ineedyou.”
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“Howbadisit?”Hesawforhimself
whenhepushedacrossthekitchenfloor.
RawandblackpuncturewoundsrandownbothsidesofFin’storso,asifamonstrousjawhadclosedoverhim.
“They’renotdeep.”Branna’svoicestayedlow
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andsteady.“Thankthegodsforthat.Andthepoison...”Shelookedupsharply.“Whatdidyoudotostopthespreadofit?”
“I’mhisblood.”Breathinglabored,Finspokeslowly,almosttooprecisely.“Whathemakesfromhisweakensinmine.”
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“There’spain,”Connorsaid.
“There’salwayspain.”ButhehissedoutabreathasBrannaworkeddeeper.“ChristJesus,woman,yourhealing’sworsethanthewound.”
“Ihavetodrawitout,weakenedornot.”
“Lookatme,Fin,”
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Connorordered.“I’lltakemyownpain,
thanks.”Connormerelygripped
Fin’sjawinhishand,turnedhishead.
He’stakingthepain,Meararealized.TakingFin’spainsothehealinggoesquickly.Andso,sheknew,Brannacouldn’t
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takeitherself.Boylegotoutthe
whiskey,soshestoodtofetchglasses.Thensittingontheflooragain,passedthemoutwhenBrannasatback,nodded.
“Thatwilldo.”“Abitmoreofadust-
upthanwereckonedon.”MirroringFin,Connor
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leanedbackagainstthecupboards.Hisownfaceshonenow,fromthesweatoftheeffort,ofthepain.“Butwesingedhisassmorethanabit,andwe’resafeandwhole.”
“He’llthinkwe’recowed,”Brannasaid.“He’llthinkwe’rebickeringamong
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ourselves,lickingourwounds,questioningifweshouldevertrysuchathingagain.”
“Andwhenwegoathimintwodays’time,we’llburnhimtoashesbeforeheknowswe’vedupedhim.Afineshow,oneandall.”Heliftedhisglass.“Anotionof
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brilliance,Mearamydarling,andonethatmayhaveturnedthetidegoodandhard.It’shardlyawonderIloveyou.”
Hedrank,asdidtheothers,butMearaheldherglassandstudiedhim.
“Notasteforyourwhiskey?”heaskedher.
“I’mwaitingformy
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hearttoshake.ItmaybeI’minabitofshock.Whydon’tyoutellmeagain?We’llseeifitgetsthrough.”
Hesethisglassaside,walkedoveronhiskneestowhereshesatonthefloor.“Iloveyou,Meara,andeverwill.”
Shedownedthe
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whiskey,settheglassdown,roseuponherkneestofacehim.“No,it’snotshaking.Butreally,whatsortofweakandfoolishheartshakesinfearoflove.Willyours?”Shelaidherhandonhischest.“Let’sseeifitdoes.Iloveyou,Connor,andeverwill.”
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“Itmayhavestoppedforasecond.”Heclosedhishandoverhers,heldittohim.“Butthere’snofear,there’snodoubt.Doyoufeelthat?It’sdancing,withjoy.”
Shelaughed.“ConnorO’Dwyerofthedancingheart.I’lltakeyou.”Shethrewherarmsaround
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him,methismouthwithhers.
“Wouldyoulikeustomovealongthen?”Boylereplied.“Givethetwoofyouyourprivacythereonthekitchenfloor?”
“I’llletyouknow,”Connormurmured,thenwentbacktokissinghislove.
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Hestood,pluckedherup,sweptherup,gaveheratosstomakeherlaughagain.“Onsecondthought,we’llgetoutofyourway.”
Hecarriedherfromtheroomonmorelaughter.
“It’swhatyou’vealwayswanted,”FinsaidtoBranna.
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“WhatIknewcouldbe,feltshouldbe,andyes,whatIwanted.”Sheletoutasigh.“I’llputonthekettle.”
***
LATER,WRAPPEDUPWITHMEARAINBED,THEHOUSE
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QUIETaroundthem,andmoonlightcomingthroughthewindow,Connoraskedher.
“Wasitthebattlethatdidit?Theknowingoflifeanddeaththatsteadiedyourheart?”
“Youtookhispain.”“What?Who?”“Downinthekitchen.
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Thoughhedidn’twantitofyou,youwouldn’tlethimhurt,soyoutookFin’spain.Ithought,That’swhoheis,downintoit.Amanwho’dtakeonthepainofafriend—oranyoneelseforthatmatter.Amanofpower,ofkindness.Offunandmusicandloyalty.Andhe
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lovesme.”Shelaidahandonhis
cheek.“I’velovedyouaslongasIcanremember,butIwouldn’tletmyselfhaveit,havethatgiftyouspokeof,orgiveit.Thatwasfear.
“AndIthought,whenIwatchedyoutonight,inthehorribleheatofbattle,
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inthebrightlightsofthekitchen,howcanIletmyselfbetooafraidtohavewhatIlove?WhydoIkeepconvincingmyselfImightbelikemyfather,orletwhathediddefinethewholeofmylife?IoweCabhanadebt.”
“Cabhan?”“Hethoughttohurtand
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shameandshakemebybringingtheimageofmyfathertome.Andhedid,rightenough,butthatwasfromme.AndseeingplainwhatIheldinme,Icouldstartseeingthetruth.Hedidn’tleaveme,ormymother,ortherestofus.Helefthisownshameandhismistakesandfailures
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becausehecouldn’tstandandlookattheminthemirror.”
“Youalwaysstand,youalwayslook.”
“Itry,butIdidn’tlookfromtherightangle.Ididn’tletmyselftiptheglass.It’smymotherwhostayed,withtheshameheleftherwith,wholived—
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inherownditheringway—withmistakesandfailuresthatwerehis.Andshestood,andstayed,formeandmyfamily,evenafterweweregrown.She’shappynow,freeofthatwhethersheknowsitfullyornot.I’mfreeofitaswell.SoIoweCabhanadebt.Butitwon’tstop
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mefromdoingallIcantosendhimtohell.”
“ThenIowehimadebtalongsideyou.Andwe’llsendhimtohelltogether.”
***
ITWASHARDOVERTHENEXTTWODAYSOUTSIDEOF
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THEcocoonofthecottagetostophimselffromradiatingjoy.Hehadtogoabouthiswork,andavoidcontactwithMearauntiltheywereinsidethatsanctuary.
HefeltCabhanprobingonceortwice,butlightly,cautiously.Andtherewerebruisesthere,ohyes,
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they’dgiventhebastardafewbruisesforhistrouble.
He’dcomeintoitweakerthanhe’dbeen—andthinkingtheircircledamagedwhenitwasstrongerandmorevitalthanithadeverbeen.
Andyet.“Youhavedoubts,”he
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saidtoBranna.Onlyhoursremained,sohe’dcomehometohelphoweverhecould.
“It’sagoodscheme.”“Andstill?”Shetookoutthedream
potion,paddeditcarefullyinasilverboxthathadcomedownthroughtheirfamily,placingit
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alongsidethebloodredbrewshehopedwouldendCabhan.
“Afeeling,andIdon’tknowifit’satrueone.IwonderifIwassoconfidentonthesolsticethatnowIdoubtwhenit’stimetotryagain.Orifthere’strulysomethingI’mnotseeing,notdoing
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thatneedsseeing,needsdoing.”
“It’snotonlyonyourshoulders,Branna.”
“Iknowit.WhateverFinthinks,Iknowthatverywell.”Shegatheredthetoolsshe’dcleansedandcharmedtowrapinarollofwhitevelvet.
Sheopenedadrawer,
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tookoutasmallersilverbox.“Ihavesomethingforyou,whatevertonightbrings.”
Curious,heopenedit,sawthering,thedeepglowoftherubyinhammeredgold.“Thiscametoyou,downfromourgreat-grandmother.”
“Nowit’syoursifyou
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wantitforMeara.She’smysister,andthatbindonlytightenswhenyougiveherthering.Anothercircle,anditshouldbehers.Butonlyifit’swhatyouwant.”
Hecamearoundtheworkcounter,drewherin.“Afterthenight’sdone.Thankyou.”
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“Iwantitended,nowmorethanever.IwanttoseeyouandMearamakeyourlivestogether.”
“We’llendit.We’remeantto.”
“Yourheart’stalking.”“Itis,andifyourhead
wasn’ttalkingsobloodyloud,you’dhearyourown.”Hedrewherback.
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“Ifyouwon’ttrustyourheart,trustyourblood.Andmine.”
“Iam.”Hegatheredhisown
toolsandreadiedhimselfforthenighttocome.
Theymetatthebigstables,andatFin’srequest,ConnorsaddledAine,thewhitefillyFin
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boughttobreedwithAlastar.
“IthoughtFinwastakingBaru,hisstallion.”
ConnorglancedbackatMeara.Sheworesturdyboots,roughpants,athickbeltwithherswordandsheathcarriedonit.HeknewIonahadbraidedcharmsinherhair.
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Andsheworehisnecklaceoveraflannelshirt.
“Soheis.We’retotakeAine,andIonaandBoyletakeAlastar.Thethirdhorsemakesthegettingthereeasier.”
“Sowe’reridingtoSorcha’scabin.”
“Inaway.You’re
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preparedforwhat’stocome?”
“AswellasIcanbe.”Hereachedacrossthe
saddleforherhand.“We’llcomethroughit.”
“Ibelievethat.”Together,theyledthe
horseouttojointheothersinthepalelightofacrescentmoon.“Once
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we’rethereitmustgoquickly,withoutamissedstep.Myfather,Iona’sgrandmother,Fin’scousin,they’llhaveaholdofthings,andthey’llbringusbackshouldthingsgowrong.”
“You’llbringmeback,”shesaid.
Oncehe’dmounted,
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sheswungupbehindhim.HeglancedatBoyleandIonaalreadyonarestlessAlastar.
Wantstobegoing,hedoes,tobedoing.
HesawFingatherupthelittlemutt,mounttheblackstallion,thenholdhishanddowntoBranna.
“It’shardforher,”
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Connormurmured.“Togowithhimthisway.”
“Hardforhimaswell.”ButBrannamounted,
thensignaledtoKathel.Thehoundracedoff.OverheadRoibeardcalled,andFin’sMerlinanswered.
“Holdontome,”Connoradvised,andthe
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threehorsesleapedforwardinagallop.
Thentheyflew.“SweetJesus!”
Meara’sbiglaughfollowedtheexclamation.“Thisisbrilliant!Whyhaven’twedonethisbefore?”
Thewindstreamedby,coolanddamp,while
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cloudswinkedoverthemoonandawayagain.Theairfilledwiththescentofspiceandearth,ofthingsgoingboldbeforetheysettleddowntorest.
Theyflew,ridingtheairabovethatearth,intothedeep,andstraightthroughthevinesto
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Sorcha’scabin.“Quicklynow,”
Connortoldher.Hehadtoleaveherto
movetoBrannaandIona,tocastthecircle,ahundredcandles,thebowls,thecauldron.
Brannaopenedthesilverbox,removedthedreampotion.
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“Spiritsrideuponthisnight.Wecometojointhemwithourlight.Inthisplaceandinthishour,wecalluponbrightthingsofpower.Wearethethree,andarethreemore.Togetherwewalkthroughthedoorandintothedreamingtheretofindthemeaningofourdestiny.
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Sowedrinkonebythreeandonebythree.”
Shepouredthepotionintoasilvercup,lifteditup.Loweredit,sipped.
“Body,blood,mind,andheart,intothedreamingwedepart.”
ShepassedthecuptoFin.Hesipped,repeatedthewords,andthento
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Iona,andaroundthecircle.
Ittastedofstars,Connorthoughtashetookhisturn,onebythree.
Hejoinedhands,hissister’s,Meara’s,andwithhercirclesaidthewords.
“Withright,withmight,withlightweseekthenight.Adreamwalk
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backintime,Cabhan’seviltounwind.TothetimeofthereturnofSorcha’sthree.Aswewill,somoteitbe.”
Therewasn’tafloatingashe’dexperiencedbefore,butakindofswimmingthroughmistsandcolorswithvoicesmurmuringbehind,
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before,andimagesjustontheedgesofhisvision.
Whenthemistscleared,hestoodashehadbeen,withhiscircle,andhishandclaspedwithMeara’s,hisotherwithBranna’s.
“Didwegoback?”“Lookthere,”Connor
saidtoMeara.
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Vinescoveredthecabin,butitstood.Andbluebellsbloomedonthegroundbeneaththegravestone.
Thehorsesstoodwiththehawksonbranchesabovethem.KathelsatcalmasakingbesideBranna,whileBugsquiveredalittlebetween
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Fin’sboots.“We’reallhere,aswe
shouldbe.You’llcallhimnow,Meara.”
“Now?”“Start,”Branna
confirmed,andtookoutthevialfilledwithred.“Drawhimin.”
Insidethevialbrilliancepulsedand
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swirled.Liquidlight,magickfire.
“Inthecenterofthecircle.”Connortookherbytheshoulders,kissedher.“Andsing,whateverhappens.”
Shehadtosteadyherself,calmherheart,thenopenit.
She’dchosenaballad,
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sanginIrishthoughhedoubtedsheknewthemeaningofallthewords.Heartbreakingtheywere,andasbeautifulasthevoicethatliftedovertheclearing,intothenight,andacrossallthedreamingtime.
He’daskhertosingitforhim,hedecided,when
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theyweredonewithdarkthings,whentheywerealone.Shewouldsingitagain,forhim.
“Hehears,”Finwhispered.
“It’sanightthatcallstoblackandwhite,todarkandlight.He’llcome.”
Brannasteppedoutofthecircle,thenConnor,
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thenIona.“Whateverhappens,”
Connorsaidagain.“Sing.He’scoming.”
“Aye.”Finsteppedoutofthecircle,leavingBoyletoguardMeara.
Hedrewasword,andsetittoburning.
Itcameonthefog,ashadowthatbecamea
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wolf.Itstalkedtowardthelineoffourwitches,thenwhirledandleapedatthecircle.
BoyleblockedMeara’sbodywithhis,butthewolfleapedbackfromthefireballIonathrew.
Itpacedtheclearing,eyedthehorsesuntilAlastarpawedtheground,
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thenitroseuptoaman.“Doyouthinktotry
formeagain?Doyouthinktodestroymewithsongandyourweakwhitemagick?”HewavedahandandtheflameonFin’ssworddied.
Finsimplyliftedit,caughtthefireagain.
“Tryme,”Fin
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suggested,andsteppedforwardinfrontofthethree.
“Myson,bloodofmyblood,youarenotmyenemy.”
“Iamyourdeath.”Finleapedforward,swingingout,butcleavedonlyfog.
Theratscame,aboilingfloodofthem,red
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eyesferal.Thosethatstreamedtothecirclescreamedastheyflashedintoflame.ButMearasawoneofthecandlesgutterout.
Nowshedrewherswordandsang.
Ainereared,hoovesflashing.Hereyesrolledinfear.Fingrabbedher
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reins,usedtheswordtosetaringoffirearoundher.Whilethetwostallionscrushedtherats,thehawksdivedforthem.
Thebatsspilledoutofthesky.
Connorsawanothercandlewinkout.
“He’sattackingthecircletogettoher.Itmust
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benow,Branna.”“Wehavetopullhim
closer.”Connorthrewhishead
back,calledthewind.Thetorrentofittorethroughthosethinwingsuntiltheairfilledwithsmokeandscreaming.
Meara’svoicewaveredasasingletwistedbody
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fellatthecircle’sedge,andathirdcandlewentout.
“Steady,girl,”Boylemurmured.
“I’msteady.”Drawinginair,sheliftedhervoiceoverthescreams.
“I’llsliceopenyourthroatandripyourheartoutthroughit.”Cabhan,
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hiseyesnearlyasredashisstone,threwblacklightningatthecircle.
Boyletookanopening,jabbedthroughwithhisknife,drewfirstblood.Theexplosionofairknockedhimback.Thebloodonthetipofhisknifehitthegroundandsizzledblackaspitch.
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“Ithastobenow,”Connorshouted,andbeganthechant.
Thepowerroseup,clearheat.Againheheardvoices,notonlyMeara’sandIona’s,butothers.Distant,murmuring,murmuringthroughthethinningVeil.OverthemMeara’ssongrang,filled
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hisheartwithmore.Finswepthisswordso
thecandlesreignited,sotheflamesranstraight.
Theratsturnedaway,flowingtowardthethree.Cabhandroppedtoallfours.ThewolfchargedKathel.
ConnorfeltBranna’sfear,turnedwithheras
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didIonatoshootpowertowardthewolf.Butthegroundheavedunderit—Fin’swork.Kathel’sjawssnappedoverthewolf’sshoulder,andRoibearddived.
Itscreamed,foughtitswaycleartoruntowardthetreesbeyondtheclearing.
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“Cutitoff,”Connorshouted.“Driveitback.”ButhisheartstoppedwhenbothBoyleandMeararanclearofthecircletojoinFin.
Itdartedright,turnedand,desperate,begantocharge.Meara’sswordflamed.Thetipofitscorchedfurbeforethe
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wolfchecked,turnedagain.
Outofthecornerofhiseye,Connorcaughtmovement.Heglancedover,sawthreefiguresbythecabin.Awaveringvision,astheirvoicesstruggledtoreachthroughtheVeil.
Thenheknewonlyhis
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sister,Iona,onlythethreeandthehotrushofpower.
Shesuspendedthevialinfrontofthem,andwithhandslinked,mindslinked,powerslinked,theyhurtledittowardthewolf.
Thelightexploded,athousandsuns.Itchargedintohim,throughhim.
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“Bythepowerofthreeyouareended.Withourlightyourdarkisrended.Withourlightthiswebisspun,withourbloodyouareundone.Nolife,nospirit,nomagicksleftforthee.Aswewillsomoteitbe.”
Thelightflashedagain,brighterstill.Itbloomed
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inhiseyes,simmeredinhisblood.Andthroughit,again,hesawthreefigures.Oneheldoutahandtohim,reaching.Reaching.
Thentheyweregone,andsowasthelight.Thedarkfell,liftedonlybymoonglowandthecircleofcandles.Breakinghis
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linkwiththethree,ConnorrushedtoMeara.
“Areyouhurt?Anywhere?”
“No,notabit.”“Youweren’ttostop
singing,youweren’ttostepoutofthecircle.”
“Mythroatgotdry.”Shesmiled,herfacesmearedwithsoot,and
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threwherarmsaroundhim.“Didweendit?Didweendhim?”
“Givemeamoment.”Ashandbloodlitteredtheground,tinysplotchesofblackstillburned.“Bythegodswhat’sleftofhimshouldbehere.Givemeamoment.”
“He’snot.Icanfeel
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him.”Finswipedbloodfromhisface.“Icanfeelhim,Icansmellhim.Icanfindhim.Icanfinishhim.”
“Youcan’tleavetheclearing.”Brannagrabbedhisarm.“Youcan’toryoumaynotgetback.”
Facefierce,Finwrenchedhisarmfree.
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“WhatdifferencedoesitmakeifIendhim,endthis?”
“Thisisn’tyourplace.”“Anditisn’tyour
choice.”“Norcanitbeyours,”
shesaid,andflunghimbackintothecircle.“Connor.”
“Bloodyhell.”
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Withconsiderableregret,herushedFin,pinnedhim,andgotafistinhisfaceforthetroublebeforeBoylejoinedin.
“Quickly.”BrannalaidahandonConnor’sshoulder,tookMeara’shand,noddedtoIonaasthemengrappledontheground.
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Sheclosedhereyes,brokethespell.
Throughthedarkandlightagain,throughthecolorsandmiststotheclearingwiththeruinsofacabinandthecallofanowl.
“Itwasn’tforyoutostopme.”
“Notonlyher,”Connor
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said,rubbinghisjawasheeyedFin.“Itwasforallofus.Wecan’tdowithoutyou.”
“Canyoubesure?”Mearademanded.“Canyoubesurewedidn’tfinishhim?”
Sayingnothing,Finstrippedoffhiscoat,yankedthesweaterunder
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itoverhishead.Themarkonhisshouldershowedrawandred,beatinglikeaheart.
“Whatisthis?”Brannademanded.“Youfeelhispain?”
“Yourbloodsawtothat.He’swounded,butwhocansayifit’smortal.Icouldhavefinished
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him.”“Ifyou’dleftthe
clearing,you’dhavebeenlost,”Connorsaid.“You’rewithus,Fin.Yourplace,yourtimeishere.Wedidn’tfinishhim.IfelthimaswellbeforeBrannabrokethespell.Butnothere,notnow.Andthistime,we’ve
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somebumpsandbruisesandnothingmore—ifwe’renotcountingyourfistinmyface—andhe’sbatteredandbleedingandtorn,halfblindaswell—Igotthatmuch.Hemaynotsurvivethenight.”
“Icaneasethepain.”Finonlystaredat
Branna.“I’llkeepitall
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thesame.”“Fin.”Ionastepped
forward,rosetohertoestocuphisfaceinherhands.“Modearthair.Weneedyouwithus.”
Afteramoment’sstruggle,Finloweredhisforeheadtohers,sighed.“Ahwell.”
“Weshouldgoback.”
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MearahandedBugstoFin,wherethedogwiggledinhisarmsandlappedathisface.“Wemaynothavefinishedit,butwedidgoodworktonight.Andformyself,Isangmythroatdryasthemoon.”
“It’snotfinished.”Brannacrossedoverto
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Sorcha’sgravestone,tracedafingeroverthewordscarvedthere.“Notyetfinished,butitwillbe.Iswearitwillbe.”
Theymounted,filthy,weary.Connorhungback,justabit,lookingoverhisshoulderattheclearingbeforetheywentthroughthevines.“Isawthem—I
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needtotelltheothers.”“Sawwho?”“Thethree.Sorcha’s
three—theshadowsofthem.Eamonwithasword,Brannaughwithabow,Teaganwithawand.Somepartofthemwasthere,camethroughandintothedreaming.Theytriedtogetthroughtous.”
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“Wecouldhaveusedthem—morethantheirshadows.”
“That’sthetruthallaround.”HeturnedAinetowardhome.“Ithought,foramomentandmore,Ithoughtwe’ddoneit.”
“SodidI.YouwantedtogowithFin.Wantedtogowithhimandfinishit,
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whateverthecost.”“Idid,butIcouldn’t.”“Becauseitwasn’t
meant.”“Morethanthat.I
couldn’tleaveyou.”HestoppedAinesohecouldturntoher,touchherface.“Icouldn’tandwouldn’tleaveyou,Meara,notevenforthat.
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“I’vesomethingforyou.”
Heduginhispocket,pulledoutthesilverbox,openeditsotherubypulledatthemoonlight.
“Oh,but,Connor—”“It’safinering,and
I’llseethatitfits—asyoufitme,andIfityou.It’scomedownthroughthe
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family.BrannapassedittomesoIcouldgiveittoyou.”
“You’reproposingtomeonhorsebackwhenwebothsmellofbrimstone?”
“Itstrikesmeasromanticandmemorable.Lookhere.”Hesliditontoherfinger,gaveitalittletap.“See,itfits,asI
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said.You’llhavetomarrymenow.”
Shelookedatthering,backathim.“IsupposeIwillthen.”
Hecaughtherinakissassweetasitwasawkward.
“Holdonnow,”hetoldher.
Andtheyflew.
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***
SEEKINGITSLAIR,ITCRAWLEDOVERTHEGROUND,MOREshadowthanwolf,morewolfthanman.Itsblackbloodscorchedtheearthbehindit.
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Itknewonlypainandhateandaterriblethirst.
Andtheterriblethirstwasvengeance.
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KeepreadingforanexcerptfromthenewestbookfromNoraRoberts
THECOLLECTOR
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AvailablefromG.P.Putnam’sSons
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SHETHOUGHTTHEY’DNEVERLEAVE.CLIENTS,ESPECIALLYnewones,
tendedtofussanddelay,revolvingonthesameloopofinstructions,contacts,commentsbeforefinallyheadingoutthe
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door.Shesympathizedbecausewhentheywalkedoutthedoortheylefttheirhome,theirbelongings,andinthiscasetheircat,insomeoneelse’shands.
Astheirhousesitter,LilaEmersondideverythingshecouldtosendthemoffrelaxed,andconfidentthosehands
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werecompetentones.Forthenextthree
weeks,whileJasonandMaceyKilderbrandenjoyedthesouthofFrancewithfriendsandfamily,LilawouldliveintheirmostexcellentapartmentinChelsea,watertheirplants,feed,waterandplaywiththeir
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cat,collecttheirmail—andforwardanythingofimport.
She’dtendMacey’sprettyterracegarden,pamperthecat,takemessagesandactasaburglarydeterrentsimplybyherpresence.
Whileshedid,she’denjoylivinginNew
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York’stonyLondonTerracejustasshe’denjoyedlivinginthecharmingflatinRome—whereforanadditionalfeeshe’dpaintedthekitchen—andthesprawlinghouseinBrooklyn—withitsfriskygoldenretriever,sweetandagingBostonterrier
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andaquariumofcolorfultropicalfish.
She’dseenalotofNewYorkinhersixyearsasaprofessionalhousesitter,andinthelastfourhadexpandedtoseequiteabitoftheworldaswell.
Niceworkifyoucangetit,shethought—andshecouldgetit.
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“Comeon,Thomas.”Shegavethecat’slong,sleekbodyonehead-to-tailstroke.“Let’sgounpack.”
Shelikedthesettlingin,andsincethespaciousapartmentboastedasecondbedroom,unpackedthefirstofhertwosuitcases,tuckingher
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clothesinthemirroredbureauorhangingtheminthetidywalk-incloset.She’dbeenwarnedThomaswouldlikelyinsistonsharingthebedwithher,andshe’ddealwiththat.Andsheappreciatedthattheclients—likelyMacey—hadarrangedaprettybouquet
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offreesiaonthenightstand.
Lilawasbigonlittlepersonaltouches,thegivingandthegetting.
She’dalreadydecidedtomakeuseofthemasterbathwithitsroomysteamshoweranddeepjettub.
“Neverwasteorabusetheamenities,”shetold
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Thomasassheputhertoiletriesaway.
Asthetwosuitcasesheldnearlyeverythingsheowned,shetooksomecareindistributingthemwhereitsuitedherbest.
Aftersomeconsiderationshesetupherofficeinthediningarea,arrangingherlaptop
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soshecouldlookupandoutattheviewofNewYork.Inasmallerspaceshe’dhavehappilyworkedwheresheslept,butsinceshehadroom,she’dmakeuseofit.
She’dbeengiveninstructionsonallthekitchenappliances,theremotes,thesecurity
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system—theplaceboastedanarrayofgadgetsthatappealedtohernerdysoul.
Inthekitchenshefoundabottleofwine,aprettybowloffreshfruit,anarrayoffancycheeseswithanotehandwrittenonMacey’smonogrammedstationery.
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Enjoyourhome!—Jason,Maceyand
Thomas
Sweet,Lilathought,andsheabsolutelywouldenjoyit.
Sheopenedthewine,pouredaglass,sippedandapproved.Grabbingher
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binoculars,shecarriedtheglassoutontheterracetoadmiretheview.
Theclientsmadegooduseofthespace,shethought,withacoupleofcushychairs,aroughstonebench,aglasstable—andthepotsofthrivingflowers,theprettydropsofcherrytomatoes,the
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fragrantherbs,allofwhichshe’dbeenencouragedtoharvestanduse.
Shesat,withThomasinherlap,sippingwine,strokinghissilkyfur.
“Ibettheysitoutherealot,havingadrink,orcoffee.Theylookhappytogether.Andtheirplace
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hasagoodfeeltoit.Youcantell.”ShetickledThomasunderthechinandhadhisbrightgreeneyesgoingdreamy.“She’sgoingtocallande-mailalotinthefirstcoupledays,sowe’regoingtotakesomepicturesofyou,baby,andsendthemtohersoshe
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canseeyou’rejustfine.”Settingthewineaside,
sheliftedthebinoculars,scannedthebuildings.Theapartmentcomplexhuggedanentirecityblock,andthatofferedlittleglimpsesintootherlives.
Otherlivesjustfascinatedher.
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Awomanaboutherageworealittleblackdressthatfithertall,model-thinbodylikeasecondskin.Shepacedasshetalkedonhercellphone.Shedidn’tlookhappy,Lilathought.Brokendate.Hehastoworklate—hesays,Lilaadded,windingtheplotin
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herhead.She’sfedupwiththat.
Acouplefloorsabove,twocouplessatinalivingroom—art-coveredwalls,sleek,contemporaryfurnishings—andlaughedoverwhatlookedlikemartinis.
Obviouslytheydidn’tlikethesummerheatas
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muchassheandThomasorthey’dhavesatoutsideontheirlittleterrace.
Oldfriends,shedecided,whogettogetheroften,sometimestakevacationstogether.
Anotherwindowopenedtheworldtoalittleboyrollingaroundonthefloorwithawhite
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puppy.TheabsolutejoyofbothzingedrightthroughtheairandhadLilalaughing.
“He’swantedapuppyforever—foreverbeingprobablyafewmonthsatthatage—andtodayhisparentssurprisedhim.He’llremembertodayhiswholelife,andoneday
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he’llsurprisehislittleboyorgirlthesameway.”
Pleasedtoendonthatnote,Lilaloweredtheglasses.“Okay,Thomas,we’regoingtogetacouplehoursofworkin.Iknow,Iknow,”shecontinued,settinghimdown,pickingupthehalfglassofwine.“Most
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peoplearedonewithworkfortheday.They’regoingouttodinner,meetingfriends—orinthecaseofthekillerblondeintheblackdress,bitchingaboutnotgoingout.Butthethingis...”Shewaiteduntilhestrolledintotheapartmentaheadofher.“Isetmyown
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hours.It’soneoftheperks.”
Shechoseaball—motion-activated—fromthebasketofcattoysinthekitchencloset,gaveitarollacrossthefloor.
Thomasimmediatelypounced,wrestled,batted,chased.
“IfIwereacat,”she
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speculated,“I’dgocrazyforthat,too.”
WithThomashappilyoccupied,shepickeduptheremote,orderedmusic.ShemadeanoteofwhichstationplayedsoshecouldbesureshereturnedittotheirhousemusicbeforetheKilderbrandscamehome.Shemoved
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awayfromthejazztocontemporarypop.
House-sittingprovidedlodging,interest,evenadventure.Butwritingpaidthefreight.Freelancewriting—andwaitingtables—hadkeptherheadjustabovewaterherfirsttwoyearsinNewYork.Aftershe’dfalleninto
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house-sitting,initiallydoingfavorsforfriends,andfriendsoffriends,she’dhadtherealtimeandopportunitytoworkonhernovel.
Thentheluckorserendipityofhouse-sittingforaneditorwho’dtakenaninterest.Herfirst,MoonRise,hadsold
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decently.Nobust-outbestseller,butsteady,andwithanicelittlefollowinginthefourteen-to-eighteensetshe’daimedfor.ThesecondwouldhitthestoresinOctober,soherfingerswerecrossed.
Butmoretothemoment,sheneededtofocusonbookthreeofthe
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series.Shebundledupher
longbrownhairwithaquicktwist,scoopandtheclampofachunkytortoiseshellhingeclip.WhileThomasgleefullychasedtheball,shesettledinwithherhalfglassofwine,atallglassoficedwaterandthemusicshe
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imaginedhercentralcharacter,Kaylee,listenedto.
Asajuniorinhighschool,Kayleedealtwithalltheupsanddowns—theromance,thehomework,themeangirls,thebullies,thepolitics,theheartbreaksandtriumphsthatcrowded
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intotheshort,intensehighschoolyears.
Astickyroad,especiallyforthenewgirl—asshe’dbeeninthefirstbook.Andmore,ofcourse,asKaylee’sfamilywerelycans.
Itwasn’teasytofinishaschoolassignmentorgotothepromwithafull
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moonrisingwhenagirlwasawerewolf.
Now,inbookthree,Kayleeandherfamilywereatwarwitharivalpack,apackthatpreyedonhumans.Maybealittlebloodthirstyforsomeoftheyoungerreaders,shethought,butthiswaswherethepathofthestory
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led.Whereithadtogo.Shepickeditupwhere
Kayleedealtwiththebetrayaloftheboyshethoughtsheloved,anoverdueassignmentontheNapoleonicWarsandthefactthatherbeautifulblondnemesishadlockedherinthesciencelab.
Themoonwouldrise
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intwentyminutes—justaboutthesametimetheScienceClubwouldarrivefortheirmeeting.
Shehadtofindawayoutbeforethechange.
Liladivedin,happilyslidingintoKaylee,intothefearofexposure,thepainofabrokenheart,thefurywiththe
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cheerleading,homecomingqueening,man-eating(literally)Sasha.
Bythetimeshe’dgottenKayleeout,andinthenick,courtesyofasmokebombthatbroughttheviceprincipal—anotherthorninKaylee’sside—dealtwiththe
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lecture,thedetention,thestreakinghomeasthechangecameonherheroine,Lilahadputinthreesolidhours.
Pleasedwithherself,shesurfacedfromthestory,glancedaround.
Thomas,exhaustedfromplay,laycurledonthechairbesideher,and
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thelightsofthecityglitteredandgleamedoutthewindow.
ShefixedThomas’sdinnerpreciselyasinstructed.WhileheateshegotherLeatherman,usedthescrewdriverofthemulti-tooltotightensomescrewsinthepantry.
Loosescrews,toher
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thinking,wereagatewaytodisaster.Inpeopleandinthings.
Shenoticedacoupleofwirebasketsonrunners,stillintheirboxes.Probablyforpotatoesoronions.Crouching,shereadthedescription,theassuranceofeasyinstall.Shemadeamentalnoteto
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e-mailMacey,askifshewantedthemputin.
Itwouldbeaquick,satisfyinglittleproject.
Shepouredasecondglassofwineandmadealatedinneroutofthefruit,cheeseandcrackers.Sittingcross-leggedinthediningroom,Thomasinherlap,sheatewhileshe
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checkede-mail,sente-mail,scannedherblog—madeanoteforanewentry.
“Gettingontobedtime,Thomas.”
Hejustyawnedwhenshepickeduptheremotetoshutoffthemusic,thenliftedhimupandawaysoshecoulddealwithher
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dishesandbaskinthequietofherfirstnightinanewspace.
Afterchangingintocottonpantsandatank,shecheckedthesecurity,thenrevisitedherneighborsthroughthebinoculars.
ItlookedlikeBlondiehadgoneoutafterall,
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leavingthelivingroomlightonlow.Thepairofcoupleshadgoneoutaswell.Maybetodinner,orashow,Lilathought.
Thelittleboywouldbefastasleep,hopefullywiththepuppycurledupwithhim.Shecouldseetheshimmerofatelevision,imaginedMomandDad
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relaxingtogether.Anotherwindow
showedapartygoingon.Acrowdofpeople—well-dressed,cocktailattire—mixedandmingled,drinksorsmallplatesinhand.
Shewatchedforawhile,imaginedconversations,includinga
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whisperedonebetweenthebrunetteintheshortreddressandthebronzedgodinthepearlgraysuitwho,inLila’simagination,werehavingahotaffairunderthenosesofhislong-sufferingwifeandhercluelesshusband.
Shescannedover,
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stopped,loweredtheglassesamoment,thenlookedagain.
No,thereallybuiltguyonthe...twelfthfloorwasn’tcompletelynaked.Heworeathongashedidanimpressivebumpandgrind,aspin,drop.
Hewasworkingupanicesweat,shenoted,as
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herepeatedmovesoraddedtothem.
Obviouslyanactor/dancermoonlightingasastripperuntilhecaughthisbigBroadwaybreak.
Sheenjoyedhim.Alot.Thewindowshowkept
herentertainedforahalfhourbeforeshemade
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herselfanestinthebed—andwasindeedjoinedbyThomas.SheswitchedontheTVforcompany,settledonanNCISrerunwhereshecouldliterallyrecitethedialoguebeforethecharacters.Comfortedbythat,shepickedupheriPad,foundthethrillershe’dstartedontheplane
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fromRome,andsnuggledin.
***
OVERTHENEXTWEEK,SHEDEVELOPEDAROUTINE.THOMASwouldwakehermoreaccuratelythananyalarmclockatseven
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preciselywhenhebegged,vocally,forhisbreakfast.
She’dfeedthecat,makecoffee,watertheplantsindoorsandout,havealittlebreakfastwhileshevisitedtheneighbors.
Blondieandherlive-inlover—theydidn’thavethemarriedvibe—argued
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alot.Blondietendedtothrowbreakables.Mr.Slick,andhewasgreattolookat,hadgoodreflexes,andawholebasketofcharm.Fights,prettymuchdaily,endedinseductionorwildburstsofpassion.
Theysuitedeachother,inherestimation.Forthe
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moment.NeitherofthemstruckLilaaslong-haulpeoplewithherthrowingdishesorarticlesofclothing,himducking,smilingandseducing.
Gameplayers,shethought.Hot,sexygameplayers,andifhedidn’thavesomethinggoingon,ontheside,she’dbevery
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surprised.Thelittleboyandthe
puppycontinuedtheirloveaffair,withMom,Dadornannypatientlycleaninguplittleaccidents.MomandDadlefttogethermostmornings,garbedinawaythatsaidhigh-poweredcareerstoLila.
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TheMartinis,asshethoughtofthem,rarelyusedtheirlittleterrace.Shewasdefinitelyoneoftheladies-who-lunch,leavingtheapartmenteveryday,latemorning,returninglateafternoonusuallywithashoppingbag.
ThePartiersrarely
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spentaneveningathome,seemedtorevelinafranticsortoflifestyle.
AndtheBodypracticedhisbumpandgrindregularly—toherunabashedpleasure.
Shetreatedherselftotheshow,andthestoriesshecreatedeverymorning.She’dworkinto
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theafternoon,breaktoamusethecatbeforeshedressedandwentouttobuywhatshethoughtshemightlikefordinner,toseetheneighborhood.
ShesentpicturesofahappyThomastoherclients,pickedtomatoes,sortedmail,composedaviciouslycanbattle,
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updatedherblog.Andinstalledthetwobasketsinthepantry.
Onthefirstdayofweektwo,sheboughtagoodbottleofBarolo,filledinthefancycheeseselections,addedsomeminicupcakesfromanamazingneighborhoodbakery.
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Justaftersevenintheevening,sheopenedthedoortothepartypackthatwasherclosestfriend.
“Thereyouare.”Julie,winebottleinonehand,afragrantbouquetofstarliliesintheother,stillmanagedtoenfoldher.
Sixfeetofcurvesandtumbledredhair,Julie
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BryantstrucktheoppositeendofLila’saverageheight,slimbuild,straightbrownhair.
“YoubroughtatanbackfromRome.God,I’dbewearing500SPFandstillendupgoinglobsterintheItaliansun.Youlookjustgreat.”
“Whowouldn’tafter
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twoweeksinRome?Thepastaalone.ItoldyouI’dgetthewine,”LilaaddedwhenJulieshovedthebottleintoherhand.
“Nowwehavetwo.Andwelcomehome.”
“Thanks.”Lilatooktheflowers.
“Wow,someplace.It’shuge,andtheview’sa
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killer.Whatdothesepeopledo?”
“Startwithfamilymoney.”
“Oh,don’tIwishIhad.”
“Let’sdetourtothekitchensoIcanfixtheflowers,thenI’llgiveyouatour.Heworksinfinance,andIdon’t
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understandanyofit.Heloveshisworkandpreferstennistogolf.Shedoessomeinteriordesign,andyoucanseeshe’sgoodatitfromthewaytheapartmentlooks.She’sthinkingaboutgoingpro,butthey’retalkingaboutstartingafamily,soshe’snotsureit’stherighttime
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tostartherownbusiness.”“They’renewclients,
right?Andtheystilltellyouthatkindofpersonaldetail?”
“WhatcanIsay?Ihaveafacethatsaystellmeallaboutit.SayhellotoThomas.”
Juliecrouchedtogreetthecat.“Whata
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handsomefacehehas.”“He’sasweetheart.”
Lila’sdeepbrowneyeswentsoftasJulieandThomasmadefriends.“Petsaren’talwaysaplusonthejobs,butThomasis.”
SheselectedamotorizedmouseoutofThomas’stoybasket,
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enjoyedJulie’seasylaughasthecatpounced.
“Oh,he’sakiller.”Straightening,Julieleanedbackonthestone-graycounterwhileLilafussedtheliliesintoaclearglassvase.
“Romewasfabulous?”“Itreallywas.”“Anddidyoufinda
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gorgeousItaliantohavemadsexwith?”
“Sadlyno,butIthinktheproprietorofthelocalmarketfellforme.Hewasabouteighty,giveortake.Hecalledmeunabelladonnaandgavemethemostbeautifulpeaches.”
“Notasgoodassex,
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butsomething.Ican’tbelieveImissedyouwhenyougotback.”
“Iappreciatetheovernightatyourplacebetweenjobs.”
“Anytime,youknowthat.IonlywishI’dbeenthere.”
“Howwasthewedding?”
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“IdefinitelyneedwinebeforeIgetstartedonCousinMelly’sHamptonsWeddingWeekFromHell,andwhyI’veofficiallyretiredasabridesmaid.”
“Yourtextswerefunforme.Iespeciallylikedtheone...‘CrazyBrideBitchsaysrosepetals
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wrongshadeofpink.Hysteriaensues.MustdestroyCBBforthegoodofwomankind.’”
“Italmostcametothat.Ohno!Sobs,tremors,despair.‘Thepetalsarepink-pink!Theyhavetoberose-pink.Julie!Fixit,Julie!’Icameclosetofixingher.”
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“Didshereallyhaveahalf-tontruckloadofpetals?”
“Justabout.”“Youshouldhave
buriedherinthem.Bridesmotheredbyrosepetals.Everyonewouldthinkitwasanironic,iftragic,mishap.”
“IfonlyI’dthoughtof
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it.Ireallymissedyou.Ilikeitbetterwhenyou’reworkinginNewYork,andIcancomeseeyourdigsandhangoutwithyou.”
Lilastudiedherfriendassheopenedthewine.“Youshouldcomewithmesometime—whenit’ssomeplacefabulous.”
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“Iknow,youkeepsaying.”Juliewanderedasshespoke.“I’mjustnotsureIwouldn’tfeelweird,actuallystayingin—OhmyGod,lookatthischina.Ithastobeantique,andjustamazing.”
“Hergreat-grandmother’s.Andyoudon’tfeelweirdcoming
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overandspendinganeveningwithmewherever,youwouldn’tfeelweirdstaying.Youstayinhotels.”
“Peopledon’tlivethere.”
“Somepeopledo.EloiseandNannydid.”
JuliegaveLila’slongtailofhairatug.“Eloise
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andNannyarefictional.”“Fictionalpeopleare
people,too,otherwisewhywouldwecarewhathappenstothem?Here,let’shavethisonthelittleterrace.WaituntilyouseeMacey’scontainergarden.HerfamilystartedinFrance—vineyards.”
Lilascoopedupthe
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traywiththeeaseofthewaitressshe’doncebeen.“Theymetfiveyearsagowhenshewasovertherevisitinghergrandparents—liketheyarenow—andhewasonvacationandcametotheirwinery.Loveatfirstsight,theybothclaim.”
“It’sthebest.First
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sight.”“I’dsayfictional,butI
justmadeacaseforfictional.”Sheledthewaytotheterrace.“TurnedouttheybothlivedinNewYork.Hecalledher,theywentout.Andwereexchanging‘Idos’abouteighteenmonthslater.”
“Likeafairytale.”
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“WhichI’dalsosayfictional,exceptIlovefairytales.Andtheylookreallyhappytogether.Andasyou’llsee,she’sgotaseriouslygreenthumb.”
Julietappedthebinocularsastheystartedout.“Stillspying?”
Lila’swide,top-heavy
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mouthmovedintoapout.“It’snotspying.It’sobserving.Ifpeopledon’twantyoulookingin,theyshouldclosethecurtains,pulldowntheshades.”
“Uh-huh.Wow.”Juliesetherhandsonherhipsasshescannedtheterrace.“You’rerightaboutthegreenthumb.”
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Everythinglushandcolorfulandthrivinginsimpleterra-cottapotsmadetheurbanspaceacreativeoasis.“She’sgrowingtomatoes?”
“They’rewonderful,andtheherbs?Shestartedthemfromseeds.”
“Canyoudothat?”“Maceycan.I—asthey
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toldmeIcouldandshould—harvestedsome.Ihadabig,beautifulsaladfordinnerlastnight.Ateitouthere,withaglassofwine,andwatchedthewindowshow.”
“Youhavetheoddestlife.Tellmeaboutthewindowpeople.”
Lilapouredwine,then
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reachedinsideforthebinoculars—justincase.
“Wehavethefamilyonthetenthfloor—theyjustgotthelittleboyapuppy.Thekidandthepuparebothincrediblyprettyandadorable.It’struelove,andfuntowatch.There’sasexyblondeonfourteenwho
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liveswithaveryhotguy—bothcouldbemodels.Hecomesandgoes,andtheyhaveveryintenseconversations,bitterargumentswithflyingcrockery,followedbymajorsex.”
“Youwatchthemhavesex?Lila,givemethosebinoculars.”
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“No!”Laughing,Lilashookherhead.“Idon’twatchthemhavesex.ButIcantellthat’swhat’sgoingon.Theytalk,fight,pacearoundwithlotsofarmwavingfromher,thengrabeachotherandstartpullingoffclothes.Inthebedroom,inthelivingroom.Theydon’thavea
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terracelikethis,butthatlittlebalconydealoffthebedroom.Theybarelymadeitbackinoncebeforetheywerebothnaked.
“Andspeakingofnaked,there’saguyontwelve.Wait,maybehe’saround.”
Nowshedidgetthe
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glasses,checked.“Ohyeah,baby.Checkthisout.Twelfthfloor,threewindowsfromtheleft.”
Curiousenough,Julietookthebinoculars,finallyfoundthewindow.“Ohmy.Mmmm,mmmm.Hedoeshavesomemoves.Weshouldcallhim,invitehimover.”
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“Idon’tthinkwe’rehistype.”
“Betweenuswe’reeveryman’stype.”
“Gay,Julie.”“Youcan’ttellfrom
here.”Julieloweredtheglasses,frowned,thenliftedthemagainforanotherlook.“Yourgaydarcan’tleapover
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buildingsinasingleboundlikeSuperman.”
“He’swearingathong.Enoughsaid.”
“It’sforeaseofmovement.”
“Thong,”Lilarepeated.“Doeshedance
nightly?”“Prettymuch.Ifigure
he’sastrugglingactor,
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workingpart-timeinastripclubuntilhegetshisbreak.”
“He’sgotagreatbody.Davidhadagreatbody.”
“Had?”Juliesetdownthe
glasses,mimedbreakingatwiginhalf.
“When?”“Rightafterthe
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HamptonsWeddingWeekFromHell.Ithadtobedone,butIdidn’twanttodoitatthewedding,whichwasbadenough.”
“Sorry,honey.”“Thanks,butyou
didn’tlikeDavidanyway.”
“Ididn’tnotlikehim.”“Amountstothesame.
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Andthoughhewassonicetolookat,he’djustgottentooclingy.Whereareyougoing,howlongwillyoube,blahblah.Alwaystextingme,orleavingmessagesonmymachine.IfIhadworkstuff,ormadeplanswithyouandotherfriends,he’dgetupsetorsulky.
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God,itwaslikehavingawife—intheworstway.Nodismeanttowives,asIusedtobeone.I’donlybeenseeinghimforacouplemonths,andhewaspushingtomovein.Idon’twantalive-in.”
“Youdon’twantthewronglive-in,”Lilacorrected.
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“I’mnotreadyfortherightlive-inyet.It’stoosoonafterMaxim.”
“It’sbeenfiveyears.”Julieshookherhead,
pattedLila’shand.“Toosoon.Cheatingbastardstillpissesmeoff.Ihavetogetthatdowntomildamusement,Ithink.Ihatebreakups,”sheadded.
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“Theyeithermakeyoufeelsad—you’vebeendumped;ormean—you’vedonethedumping.”
“Idon’tthinkI’veeverdumpedanyone,butI’lltakeyourword.”
“That’sbecauseyoumakethemthinkit’stheiridea—plusyoureally
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don’tletitgetseriousenoughtoearntheterm‘dump.’”
Lilajustsmiled.“It’stoosoonafterMaxim,”shesaid,andmadeJulielaugh.“Wecanorderin.There’saGreekplacetheclientsrecommended.Ihaven’ttriedityet.”
“Aslongasthere’s
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baklavaforafter.”“Ihavecupcakes.”“Evenbetter.Inow
haveitall.Swankapartment,goodwine,Greekfoodcoming,mybestpal.Andasexy...oh,andsweaty,”sheaddedassheliftedtheglassesagain.“Sexy,sweatingdancingman—
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sexualorientationnotconfirmed.”
“Gay,”Lilarepeated,androsetogetthetakeoutmenu.
***
THEYPOLISHEDOFFMOSTOFTHEWINEWITHLAMBKABOBS—
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thendugintothecupcakesaroundmidnight.Maybenotthebestcombination,Liladecided,consideringhermildlyqueasystomach,butjusttherightthingforafriendwhowasmoreupsetaboutabreakupthansheadmitted.
Nottheguy,Lila
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thoughtasshedidtheroundstochecksecurity,buttheactitself,andallthequestionsthatdoggedthemindandheartafteritwasdone.
Isitme?Whycouldn’tImakeitwork?WhowillIhavedinnerwith?
Whenyoulivedinacultureofcouples,itcould
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makeyoufeellesswhenyouwereflyingsolo.
“Idon’t,”Lilaassuredthecat,who’dcurledupinhisownlittlebedsometimebetweenthelastkabobandthefirstcupcake.“I’mokaybeingsingle.ItmeansIcangowhereIwant,whenIwant,takeanyjobthat
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worksforme.I’mseeingtheworld,Thomas,andokay,talkingtocats,butI’mokaywiththat,too.”
Still,shewishedshe’dbeenabletotalkJulieintostayingover.Notjustforthecompany,buttohelpdealwiththehangoverherfriendwasboundtohavecomemorning.
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MinicupcakeswereSatan,shedecidedasshereadiedforbed.Socuteandtiny,oh,they’relikeeatingnothing,that’swhatyoutellyourself,untilyou’veeatenhalfadozen.
Nowshewaswireduponalcoholandsugar,andshe’dnevergettosleep.
Shepickedupthe
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binoculars.Stillsomelightson,shenoted.Shewasn’ttheonlyonestillupat...Jesus,onefortyinthemorning.
SweatyNakedGuywasstillup,andinthecompanyofanequallyhot-lookingguy.Smug,LilamadeamentalnotetotellJuliehergaydarwas
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likeSuperman.Partycouplehadn’t
madeittobedyet;infactitlookedasthoughthey’djustgottenin.Anotherswankdealfromtheirattire.Lilaadmiredthewoman’sshimmeryorangedress,andwishedshecouldseetheshoes.Thenwasrewardedwhen
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thewomanreacheddown,balancingahandontheman’sshoulder,andremovedonestrappy,sky-highgoldsandalwitharedsole.
Mmm,Louboutins.Lilascanneddown.Blondiehadn’tturned
inyeteither.Sheworeblackagain—snugand
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short—withherhairtumblingoutofanupdo.Beenoutonthetown,Lilaspeculated,anditdidn’tgoverywell.
She’scrying,Lilarealized,catchingthewaythewomanswipedatherfaceasshespoke.Talkingfast.Urgently.Bigfightwiththeboyfriend.
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Andwhereishe?Butevenchanging
anglesshecouldn’tbringhimintoview.
Dumphim,Lilaadvised.Nobodyshouldbeallowedtomakeyousounhappy.You’regorgeous,andIbetyou’resmart,andcertainlyworthmorethan—
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Lilajerkedasthewoman’sheadsnappedbackfromablow.
“OhmyGod.Hehither.Youbastard.Don’t—”
Shecriedoutherselfasthewomantriedtocoverherface,cringedbackasshewasstruckagain.
Andthewomanwept,
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begged.Lilamadeoneleapto
thebedsidetableandherphone,grabbedit,leapedback.
Shecouldn’tseehim,justcouldn’tseehiminthedimlight,butnowthewomanwasplasteredbackagainstthewindow.
“That’senough,that’s
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enough,”Lilamurmured,preparingtocall911.
Theneverythingfroze.Theglassshattered.
Thewomanexplodedout.Armsspreadwide,legskicking,hairflyinglikegoldenwings,shedroppedfourteenstoriestothebrutalsidewalk.
“OhGod,God,God.”
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Shaking,Lilafumbledwiththephone.
“Nine-one-one,whatisyouremergency?”
“Hepushedher.Hepushedher,andshefelloutthewindow.”
“Ma’am—”“Wait.Wait.”She
closedhereyesamoment,forcedherselftobreathe
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inandoutthreetimes.Beclear,sheorderedherself,givethedetails.
“ThisisLilaEmerson.Ijustwitnessedamurder.Awomanwaspushedoutafourteenth-storywindow.I’mstayingat...”Ittookheramomenttorememberbeforeshecametothe
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Kilderbrands’address.“It’sthebuildingacrossfromme.Ah,tothe,tothewestofme.Ithink.I’msorry,Ican’tthink.She’sdead.Shehastobedead.”
“I’mdispatchingaunitnow.Willyouholdtheline?”
“Yes.Yes.I’llstayhere.”
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Shuddering,shelookedoutagain,butnowtheroombeyondthebrokenwindowwasdark.
•••
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