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Page 1: Parenting7-2011

www.bothell-reporter.com • www.kenmore-reporter.com[10] July 1, 2011

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...TODAY’S pArenTmore stories online... bothell-reporter.com kenmore-reporter.com How to get

your child through a tantrum

Some children are more prone to tantrums depend-ing on temperament and persistency. � ere are three general tempera-ments: cautious, easy and feisty. Persistency is also a basic character trait. A feisty child is more prone to tantrums. Combine feisty

with high persistence, and you have a long-su� ering parent.

Tantrums can increase as part of a “stage.” Physi-cal and cognitive growth can create unusually rocky emotions or testing behav-iors. Frustration, growth hormones, etc. can all com-bine to produce a period of tantrums that can last for a few days or weeks for even the easy/low persistent personality types.

How can you get a child through a tantrum or avoid having one? � ere isn’t a magic cure. Tantrums usu-ally happen when a child is completely overwhelmed. � ey can become manipu-lative if they are mishandled and the tail will begin to wag the dog.

� ere are two kinds of tantrums:

1) � e child really is hav-ing a hard time (hungry, hurt, scared, etc.). Get them into quiet/safe area. Repeat a simple litany phrase such as “when your body and voice are quiet, we’ll get you taken care of.” Hold them or let them alone as they wish and wait it out. Some children want physical contact, for others it spins them even further over the edge.

2) � e tantrum is manip-ulative. Again, get them into quiet/safe area, stay by them and occasion-ally repeat a litany phrase such as “When you’re done, we’ll talk.” Other-wise ignore the behavior and do not give in. Keep your voice and face neu-tral. Don’t fuel the tan-trum by giving in, being sympathetic, or trying to arti� cially stop it. When the child is calm and a constructive conversation is possible discuss what the child could have done di� erently to mentor them into more appropri-ate behavior.

Karen Hergert is the direc-tor for Morning Star School,

Inc., a private preschool with campuses in both Kenmore, 425-486-9333, and Wood-inville, (425)486-5499. For

information, visit www.morningstarschool.com.

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