Marriage can be bliss or it can bea curse. God instituted mar-

riage therefore; it is supposed to bea blessing. God is always for a goodmarriage but it’s up to two people todecide what the quality of the rela-tionship will be.

We all know people who are endur-ing marriage. Life is short and amarriage is to safeguard a life ofpeace, pleasure, and prosperity inthe safety of a mate. Unfortunately,many marriages today are sufferingbecause one or both partners havegiven up on their marriage. They’reenduring instead of enjoying eachother. Today I want to give you fivekeys that will breathe fresh life intoyour marriage.

1. Have a vision for your marriage.Without a goal, anyone can be lostin transit. Unless we have cleargoals, we’ll be confused at best. Agoal can be spiritual, financial, phys-ical, or emotional. Unless bothspouses know what they want fromeach other, it is hard to please theother person. Talk about your expec-tations, write them down, and thenrevisit them periodically to make sureyou’re making progress. Life comesin seasons. Stay current with yourneeds and the season you’re in.

2. Speak life. Our lives are as goodas the words we speak. This maysound absurd but there’s tremen-dous power in our words. Thinkabout it! God spoke the world intoexistence. When we speak positive,uplifting words over ourselves andeach other, we’ll eat the fruit of it.Words are like an echo; whatever wesend out will come back to us. It is

easy to make sarcastic, hurtful, andcutting remarks but like a burn,those words sting our souls formonths to come. On the contrary,when we make a positive deposit ofbuilding our mate up with words, it’slike putting money in a savings ac-count. You can draw all you want,limited only by what you put in. Ifwe’re drawing more than we deposit,one day we may have to face abankruptcy. When you’re upset andyou feel like speaking out the most isthe time for you to say the least.Make a habit of saying somethinggood about your spouse every singleday. A person can live on a kind,appreciative word for a month!Speak life.

3. Focus on what’s working. For-give and forget what your partnerdid in 1957! Bury the past and for-give quickly. Fight for peace and notfor winning arguments. Most peoplemake the mistake of focusing onwhat’s not working. Remember, no-body is perfect — not even you! Ifwe’re using all our energy lookingfor faults then we’ll not have anyenergy left to find the gold in theother. Remind yourself why you fellin love. Find ways to unite. Invest ineach other. A marriage left alone islike a beautiful garden only to some-day be taken over by weeds. If youstay focused on planting good seeds,your garden will continue to producebeautiful flowers.

4. Communicate. People are notmind-readers. Find a way to expressyour feelings without the drama. Youhave to be precise but you also haveto be diplomatic. Don’t tell it the way

it is. When, and how, you share yourfeelings is as important as what youshare. Ninety percent of our commu-nication is non-verbal. Hold hands,look each other in the eye. When wesay a hard thing in a kind way, it’s alot more palatable. When you makea mistake don’t make excuses. Bethe bigger person and say, “I madea mistake. I’m sorry. It won’t happenagain.” Become a lifelong learner ofcommunication.

5. Enjoy each other. Nobody likes tobe around a stick in the mud. Yes,we need to save for the future butdon’t be stingy. Details are importantand the house doesn’t get cleanedby itself but why don’t you do it with-out complaining about it. We live ina stressful world. Take a leisurelywalk in the park, go to a movie, andtake a vacation without the kids.Have plenty of sex. You have the li-cense; use it before it expires! Eventhe doctors are now saying that it’sgood for your body, emotions, spirit,and soul! Never let the magic die inyour marriage. Remember, fundoesn’t have to cost a lot of money.It’s time, effort, and creative thinkingthat keeps your marriage fresh. Havefun with each other.

Finally, honor God with your mar-riage. Say and do only things youwould say and do if God was presentwith you. In case you’re wondering,He’s always with you and He is al-ways for your marriage. I’m prayingfor you.

“Two people are better off than one,for they can help each other suc-ceed” (Ecclesiastes 4:9 NLT).

Empowering You withSandy Anderson

Speak Life into Your Marriage

SandyAndersonLive orBuild International Ministries

www.buildinternational.blogspot.com

www.buildinternational.org

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